All language subtitles for On va saimer un peu beaucoup... S02E06 Emma

to Sophie

Cucumbers are 3.95.
Help yourself.

Come with me.

- Why?
- You know why?

Get off, you perv!

Get your hands off!

What's that?

Someone must've left it.

Do I look stupid?

Get off me!
Fuck off, you fat slob!

Get the fuck away from me!

Fuck off! I'll kill you!

"I walked towards the exit,

"a few minutes later.

"The guard caught hold of me,
in front of everyone.

"He opened my jacket

"and the things fell to the ground."

Right?

He hit me. Why isn't he here?

He reported you.
You hit him in the face.

- He hurt me, the bastard.
- Emma!

- It wasn't theft, my mum paid.
- That's enough.

Hello.
I was at the job centre.

Hello.

OK?

Sign here.

She's just a kid.

She stole food.
What about tax dodgers?

She attacked the guard, Fabrice.

Sign there.

You can go.

- Let's go.
- Sorry?

She's with me.

It's my week.

Not for long.

My lawyer will be in touch.

See you on Sunday.

LOVE: A LITTLE, A LOT

Lartigues and Lorenzi, hello.

Just hold the line.

My ex wants sole custody of Emma.

She'd need a good reason.

Hitting a guard
after being caught shoplifting

during your week isn't enough.

It was self-defence.
He molested her!

Then report him.

The CCTV cameras
will have caught everything.

There's not point.

I can't stand anyone attacking Emma.

And it's OK to lie,
to justify her behaviour?

You're wrong, Fabrice.

If you want
to keep your joint custody,

you need to be honest with me.

- Got it.
- Good.

Your ex-wife
bears as much responsibility as you.

I don't think we need to worry
about custody.

But the guard and manager
are pressing charges against her.

She'll appear in court.

And be jailed?

No,
for stealing goods worth under ?50,

as a minor, she'll get a warning.

The worrying thing is the violence.

How will you explain that?

I taught her to defend herself.
I'm proud she did.

It's a great flat.

At that price! It's indecent.

Isn't it nice, though?

Will you have enough,
after your divorce?

I thought...
we could take it together.

- Alexandre...
- Yes?

We discussed this.
I said no.

How are things with your wife?

She's eased up a bit.

She let me get my things
and made me a disgusting coffee -

but it was still coffee.

Do you know why?

No -
maybe her lawyer knows a few tricks.

You're jealous.

Me, jealous?

I just want her to leave me alone.

Everything has a reason.

This change isn't good news.

So...

When we got married,

she was working
as a management accountant.

Has she stopped?

No - the stand-up is on the side.

That's not the problem.

She's having a laugh, at my expense.

Literally.

She's making fun of me, in public.

We need to talk.
Not at home. Bye.

She laughs at how I brush my teeth,

how I write emails,
how I get my back waxed,

but not my balls.

It's so annoying.

How can I help?

I want her act to be shut down.

- For what reason?
- Breaching my privacy.

You know what she's called it?

My Guy: One Ball.

One Ball.

That's the problem.

Everyone's wondering if it's true.

Is it?

Are you for real?

To claim a breach of privacy,

you'd have to be clearly named.

I'm not - it's just a title
that brings people in.

But she makes sure
people know it's me.

My friends all know it's me.

Wherever you like.

The Lyonnais. Dinner?

- Not the audience.
- You don't get it.

Would you like
your husband doing a comedy act

and saying you've only got one boob?

Maybe if you could
convince her to come in,

it might force her to listen to you.

Mum can stay till 10pm.

Thanks for not telling Mum
or the cops.

I don't want them to separate us.

Ever.

Nor do I, darling.

Nor do I.

Thanks.

This is where
I told you I was pregnant.

It's my last good memory.

OK.

OK, I made a huge mistake,
but I'm not wholly to blame.

I told you,

having your mother over all the time,

with you making her
do all the work...

And I told you
I didn't want that house

and then you made the kids think
that I was being nasty.

We always do what you want.

OK, so it's my fault
that you cheated on me.

In part, yes.

I was unhappy.

But all of that -
my mum, the house -

it was all to make it easier
for you to work.

And for you, too.

And marriage?

I didn't force you to do that.

And you were screwing that guy...

It was over.

It never started.
It was... it was...

it wasn't even an affair.

I don't know what it was.

I want things to be how they were.

It's impossible.

I'll make an effort for the kids,

but don't ask for more than that.

You're incorrigible.

One word and I'm off.

Which one?

Guess.

"Dangerous".

That won't stop me from staying.

I'd drop any client of mine

that was so nonchalant.

Good - that's what I'd advise -
it'd never work.

What's that?
Are you expecting someone?

Get dressed.

Open up.

- Astrid Lartigues?
- Yes.

I have a court warrant
to examine the premises.

These people will help.

Are you alone in the flat?

- No.
- Can I come in?

The people present
clearly dressed quickly.

Two empty wine glasses.

The mattress is warm

and the bed was clearly occupied
by two people.

What about my cock?

The bathroom's next.

Thanks.

What about the invitations
for your birthday?

I'm not doing anything special.

It was great last year,
at your mum's place.

My dad will be at work
and he doesn't want us to be alone.

He says birthdays are for kids.

- Right.
- I'm not doing anything.

I don't want my mum hanging round!

- Hi, girls.
- Hi.

Ready?

- Bye.
- Bye.

Her dad's so cool.

- Totally. Let's go.
- Yes.

Emma, you were caught shoplifting,
in a supermarket,

and you assaulted the security guard.

Do you acknowledge that?

Emma, answer, please.

- Yes, I do.
- Good.

You've shoplifted before

and you assaulted the guard.
Can you tell me why?

I don't know.

I need a bit more than that.

It was for my dad.
He's out of work.

I wanted to make
a nice dinner for him.

He didn't know.

I know
you want to defend your father,

but this wouldn't have happened,
with me.

This isn't a custody hearing.

That's for a family court.

I'm here to decide
what punishment to impose.

You're a youth events-organizer.
Is that right?

No one's perfect.

My client will ensure
this doesn't happen again,

as will Emma's mother,
with whom he shares

parental authority.

Is this going to happen again?

No! I don't want
my dad to have any problems.

Or my mum.

OK, I'm going to give you a warning,

but it's your last.

The next time,
you'll go to a detention centre.

Understood?

I told you to be honest!

I was!

No - or I'd have known
she'd been her before!

How many times
have you put her up to it?

What?

If I needed to steal food,
I'd do it myself!

Is that it?

Excuse me,

I'm going to the family court.

My client wants sole custody.

Yes, Roxane?

I'm going to stay at home today.
Can you postpone my meetings?

Thanks.

To Alexandre
Need to be alone.

That's for two.

I was in a hearing.
I came as fast as I could.

What's going on?

This proof of your adultery
doesn't constitute new evidence.

Everyone knows
about your relationship.

But that bitch
will use it to up the stakes.

That won't work, with the judge.

Except with Blanchard.
His wife screwed everyone at the bar.

But...

What?

If it's on film,

it'll be a big problem.

What do you mean?

Did you make a sex tape?

No.

Nothing?

Not even a selfie under the duvet?

I said no.

Then everything should be fine.

I'll keep you posted.

OK.

- Hello.
- Hello.

It's to see Audrey Lartigues.

I'll let her know.

Yes?

Your clients.

Thanks.

Can I leave this?

It's about men and women
in the 21st century.

Sorry, we don't take advertising.

No advertising - what a shame.

Hello.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Hello.

Thanks, where's my mother?

At home. She's not well.

Is it serious?

She just postponed her meetings.

Ah. Thanks, Roxane.

Follow me.

Couldn't you base your act
on something else?

What's the problem?

Did Picasso's women complain
about having one eye and wonky noses?

Picasso was a genius.

That's very funny.
I'll make a note of it.

It can go in my next show.

That's the problem.
It's non-stop.

Can you see,
you're upsetting your husband?

He badmouths me.

This is in public.

But people don't know it's him.

You could make a bit of an effort.

Why not pick on your parents?

There's potential there.

No, my parents
are much less funny than you.

He can be funny.
Especially in the morning,

when he forgets he's married to me.

He's smiling, he's in a good mood...

He's like one big family:

he sleeps like a baby,
moans like a teenager,

snores like my dad
and he's balding like granddad.

Family portraits are simple.

Just do a selfie!

What would you do
if your guy based his act on you?

I'd charge him royalties.

I don't think that'd help my client.

You could do something else tomorrow.

I need someone,
for a client's daughter.

OK.

Thanks.

Ah, and...

this is doing the rounds,
so you'd better hear it:

Evelyn Rotivel has cited adultery.

Her husband and your mum
were caught in bed.

She said she had bronchitis.

Why is it so hard to talk?

- Here.
- Thanks.

You can't stay like this, Mum.

It's not you.

You've always faced up
to your problems.

It was so...

violent.

So humiliating.

You don't look that well either.

I've been better.

Is it Mr Leroy?

I messed up.

Before the birth.

Don't start moralizing.

No.

I'm in no position to.

Is everything OK with Paul?

No, it's hard.

Hello.

- Hello, Aissa, hello, Beatrice.
- Hello.

Hello, Astrid.

Your post.

Thanks, Roxanne.

So, does everyone know?

Fat, sugar, gluten.
You're going to need it.

Thanks.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Do you have any other clothes?

No, why?

We've got half an hour.

This hearing
was requested by Mrs Wasser,

who wants sole custody of Emma.

Why is that?

My client believes
Emma's father is a bad influence.

That's tenuous.

Emma wants to live
with both her parents.

She neglects her homework,

gets to school late, shoplifts...

On her father's weeks.

Emma gets good marks
on my weeks, too.

That's not the point.

And you're looking for work.

With success?

I just had an interview, but no joy.

Being unemployed doesn't affect
your ability to raise a child.

Emma hasn't been in trouble
since the last incident.

That's why I asked her to come in.

She's outside, with her lawyer.

We weren't aware.

I wasn't aware
that your case was so flimsy.

I would have asked
to hear from her anyway.

Without her parents.

You could've told me.

Is that a problem?

Not at all.

Show her in.

- Are things OK with your dad?
- Yes.

Do you want to keep living with him?

- You love him a lot.
- He's my dad.

He seems to love you a lot.

He must have lots of time for you.

No, he's busy looking for work.

Sometimes he falls asleep
before I do.

How do you know?

Does he sleep in your room?

No, it's just when...

he argues with his girlfriend.

I see where this is going.

You're jumping to conclusions.

That sounded more
like a confession, to me.

Emma's school is worried about her

and Emma's father was nervous
when I said I'd speak to her.

His eyes were begging her
to keep his shameful secret.

Abused children
protect their parents.

He didn't do anything!

She's gone completely crazy!

Mr Guerin, I want a social worker

to assess your ability
to care for Emma.

What? Why?

I suspect
you may be sexually abusing her.

- You're totally sick!
- Calm down!

You think I'd do that shit
to my own daughter?

- You're mad!
- Sit down!

Mr Guerin!

That bitch
already had her mind made up!

He's not touching Emma.
I swear, on my life.

You can't just trust your instincts.

My instincts have helped me more
than 7 years of study.

You lost your daughter,
now your client's losing his.

Isn't this a bit too personal?

I don't know what you mean.

Roxane?

How's the Markowitz case?

Your ex is a saint.

Look harder.

Everyone has secrets.
Richard's no different.

I'll call soon.

- Thanks.
- Bye.

Astrid.

Astrid.

Are you blaming me for what happened?

No, it's as much my fault.

We should've stopped
when your divorce got underway.

Listen,

she's just trying to up the stakes.

That's all.
It's just about money.

You don't get it.

She wanted to humiliate us.

And it worked, believe me.

That's enough work.

How about a whisky?

He said yes.

Hi, kids. OK?

Yes.

Working hard?

Is something burning?

No, the gratin! Sorry.

It just got a bit hot.

- Why have you stopped kissing?
- What?

You always used to.

- Yes, and you hated it.
- Not anymore.

That wasn't real!

Yes, it was!

Finish your homework and we'll eat.

Don't worry, darling, I'm fine.

I'm at the office,
I fell behind with a case.

I won't stay late, I promise.
Bye, darling.

What are you doing here?

What's going on?

This isn't a hotel!

Come on, you're getting yours.

Don't indulge
Alexandre's desire for revenge.

War gets you nowhere.

Nor do office relationships.

It's not proscribed.

And it's not harassment.
We're equals here.

I'll sleep on the sofa.

Don't worry, I'll wake up
before Leo and Clara come down.

Yes - that's right.

You're my best friend.

Kechiouche: It was exciting,
getting caught tonight.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Come in.

It's that way.

Emma's got friends
in the neighbourhood.

We like it here.

Who's that?

My girlfriend

and her best friend.

They're very close.

May I have a coffee?

Yes, of course.

My girlfriend's always reorganizing.

I knew it was there.

Sophia?

This is for you.

It came in,
marked for your attention.

Shit!

Yes?

Mr Guerin, can I see you?

I'm a bit busy.

Right now!

I hate being lied to.

Where do you

really live?

Social worker visit: 10am.
Report: 3pm.

You know how to make friends.

What is this?

Just because
I couldn't find the coffee.

The neighbours said
your name was added to the letterbox.

Stop messing me around
or find another lawyer.

I lived there with my ex.

I moved out when we split up.

I couldn't afford it, myself.

But, doesn't your ex-wife know?

She picks Emma up
and drops her off outside.

I asked Emma
not to say that we'd moved out.

Where do you live?

A campervan.

A van?

No, not a van.
It's got what we need.

We've got a stove
and a nice feather duvet.

How do you wash?

In cafés.

Emma takes a shower
at the gym or at the pool.

Just ask for social housing.

It's your right.

I did, but they never got back to me.

Don't you know,

you can't have custody,
without decent housing?

Of course I know!

Why do you think I lie to everyone?

Roxane?

Have you ever been
to the housing office?

Yes - you wait for ages.

What do you need?

I need my client's file there.

It's urgent.

Can I borrow Lady?

You're so beautiful!

It's Lady, right?

Yes.

I'm sure I was a dog in a past life.

You farted!

Lady farted.

She's good at that.

Oh!

That doesn't smell good.

- Does her owner feed her well?
- Yes - he loves her.

He goes short, to feed her.

He lives in his car.

It's not easy.

You poor thing! You live in a car?

Yes.

If only her owner could get a place.

Yes, my darling.

Sorry we're a bit late, your honour.

We've all seen the report:

the suspicion of abuse
was groundless.

However,

it seems Mr Guerin
lives in a utility vehicle,

sparsely furnished.

You didn't bring that
to our attention.

I wasn't aware of it myself.

Mr Guerin considers himself
a good father.

He's only temporarily
living in his vehicle.

I grant Mrs Wasser sole custody.

Sorry,
but my client's requests for housing

all went unanswered,
as this email proves.

That's in violation
of law 290 of 5 March 2007,

which clearly states

that claimants
have a right to be provided

with decent housing,
after a serious delay,

if they have been unable
to house themselves.

I brought to light
the urgency and shortcoming

and my client has now been housed.

Very good.

Then the arrangement
can stand as it is,

with joint custody.

But please desist from lying

and ask Emma to do likewise.

Thank you. You may go.

It's bigger than the van.

I'll find you something better.

And how's the job search going?

Have a guess.

Let's get our things.

Thanks, anyway.

Hello.

Is Mr Leroy there?

Hello.

No, can I take a message?

Thanks.

No, that won't be necessary.

Thanks, Jacques.

I'm sorry.

So am I.

I'm a bit tense at the moment.

So, you and Mehdi...

Are you jealous?

I know you prefer me.

Mehdi feels bad.

I imagine.
It won't do him any harm.

How's Rotivel?

I don't really want to see him.

He loves you.

That's worth a lot, you know.

Come on, let's go.

Darling,

wake up, you'll be late for school.

- Here.
- Thanks.

Why didn't you wake me earlier?

I was watching you sleep.

It's too late for the café.

That's OK -
you've got swimming today.

Yes.

Emma!

Emma, we'll get you out of here,
don't worry.

Don't worry, darling.

Where were you, Fabrice?

I warned you about this.

Theft and assault
are getting to be a habit.

I'm sending you
to a detention centre.

3 months with good behaviour,

6 without.
Do you understand?

Yes.

Your honour,
Emma's behaviour is a cry for help.

This is what she wants.

We'll see how she likes it.

She's torn between her parents.

Emma?

No comment.

OK.

You can't go into detention
to avoid choosing between them.

Ms Lorenzi.

Your father's love for you

doesn't entitle him
to house you in a carpark.

Parenting is about protection,

even if that means
seeing your kids less.

I'll be less trouble to my dad.

Don't say that.

He's got problems - he's broke.

Zoe said you'd found
a way of sorting this out.

Right.

This is a solution?

You're never happy.

Will you explain?

Sure - no problem.

There.

She's still making a fool of me.

What can I do?

You're still targeting him.

Come on!
He's famous, thanks to me!

So, you admit,
everyone knows it's me.

OK, I get it now.

It's "being famous".

That counts for more than I do.

Zoe, what do you say?

You know what?

I'm going to get my balls waxed -
but not for your benefit.

Do a show
about a guy getting a divorce.

He's not wrong.

I love what I do.

I've changed, he hasn't.

There's no point
in making each other suffer.

What have you decided.

The best for Emma.

Until things are better for me.

Do you agree, Juliette?

Of course.

OK,

Then I'll tell
Mr Leduc and the judge.

Thank you.

It's settled.

The judge just ordered counselling.

She was very understanding.

- Emma won't be locked up?
- No.

She can stay at school,
with her friends.

It's temporary.

You can see her next weekend.

You can have her all Saturday.

Thanks.

Shall we go?

There's just a bit of paperwork.

Go right in.

I limited the damage,
but it's not the best.

He'll try to change now.

Change?
You think that's possible?

I don't know.

- Sophia.
- Yes?

I'll find what you asked me for.

Thanks.

You're working late.

You don't want to go home.

I just need to finish this.

It's just us.

Everyone's gone.

We're all alone.

What a turn-on.

I've got a gift for you.

Really?

What is it?

For dinner tonight,

to whet your appetite,

I'll do you the house speciality.

Followed by a main course

that you won't want to turn down.

Are the kids not here?

Leo and Clara are playing.
And Nathan's asleep.

Colette took him to the park.
He's exhausted.

Did you have a nice day?

Very good.

I fucked Barbara.

You?