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1
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,288
[boy] First of all,
let me get something straight.
2
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,415
This is a journal, not a diary.
3
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,544
When Mom went out to buy this thing,
4
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,922
I specifically told her not to get a book
that said "Diary" on it.
5
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,549
But, of course, she didn't listen.
6
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,634
[video game beeping]
7
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,012
It's been hard enough getting through
the first week of middle school
8
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,306
without carrying this thing
around with me.
9
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,768
Hey, this kid's got a diary.
10
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,895
[laughs]
11
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,396
A-Actually, it's a jour--
12
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,357
[grunts]
13
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,318
[both laughing]
14
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,738
[boy] If Mom's expecting me to write down
my feelings or whatever,
15
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,490
she's gonna be disappointed.
16
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,824
[chattering]
17
00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,744
The only reason I agreed
to write in this thing at all
18
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,038
is because one day
I'm gonna be rich and famous.
19
00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:23,083
And people'll wanna read about my
early years. So I'm doing this for them.
20
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,959
-Greg is so smart.
-So handsome.
21
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:27,712
-So brave.
-And he smells terrific.
22
00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,299
[Greg]
But for now, I'm stuck in middle school…
23
00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:32,384
[both grunt]
24
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,677
[Greg] …surrounded by morons.
25
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,428
[grunts]
26
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,015
[Greg] But luckily, I'm not alone
in this middle school thing.
27
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:42,102
My best friend, Rowley,
is in the same grade as me.
28
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,813
I doubt he's ever gonna be
rich and famous,
29
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,815
but it's good to have him around
for laughs.
30
00:01:47,816 --> 00:01:49,943
Did you know
if your hand is bigger than your face,
31
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:51,945
it's a sign that your brain is shrinking?
32
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,029
It is?
33
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,990
[laughs] Gotcha.
34
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:59,244
But does this mean my brain is shrinking?
35
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,371
Not sure.
36
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,872
Let's check the other hand.
37
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,792
[Greg]
I'm glad Rowley's along for the ride,
38
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,128
because everything else
about middle school stinks.
39
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,380
And I can't believe it was just a week ago
40
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,716
that me and Rowley were actually
looking forward to this.
41
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,300
Heads up!
42
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:17,762
[snaps]
43
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:18,805
[bell dings]
44
00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:25,228
That was a good one.
You almost hit the front tire that time.
45
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,732
You just need to slow down a little
so I can get locked in.
46
00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,191
[Rowley panting]
47
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,235
-Let me get this straight.
-Come on, Rowley.
48
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,154
So in middle school,
49
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,489
do you just go to a different room
for each class?
50
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,782
Come on. You got it.
51
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,535
And you just carry all your stuff
around with you all day?
52
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:42,495
No, no. No, no, no.
53
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,872
They give you a locker
54
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,250
so you can just ditch the books you
don't need in between periods.
55
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,877
W-w-what about recess?
56
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,170
[continues panting]
57
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,172
There's still recess, right?
58
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,549
I told you, like, a million times, Rowley.
59
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,718
Recess is an elementary school thing.
60
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,471
Aw. But I like recess.
61
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,599
Are you gonna go,
or are you just gonna sit there?
62
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:05,560
Don't you want a turn riding?
I've gone three times in a row.
63
00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,103
[dog barks]
64
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,815
But you're way better at riding than me.
I can never do it as good as you.
65
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,362
Woo-hoo!
66
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:19,366
[screaming, laughing]
67
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,658
-[grunts]
-[Rowley screaming, laughing]
68
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,993
[horn honks]
69
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,119
[laughs]
70
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,454
[screams]
71
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,539
[screams, grunts]
72
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,709
Oh, come on, Rodrick! You made me miss!
73
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,252
[Rowley] I'm okay.
74
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:37,717
[sighs]
75
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,845
[Greg] One of the reasons
I'm friends with Rowley is
76
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,640
there aren't a whole lot of boys my age
in the neighborhood.
77
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,685
In fact, aside from Rowley,
there's only really-- [screams]
78
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,228
Fregley!
79
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,563
Why, hello, Greg Heffley.
80
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,943
[groans] Hi, Fregley. I was just, um,
getting-- getting my football.
81
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,570
Wanna come inside my house for a playdate?
82
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,615
I can show you my room.
83
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:04,327
You know, I'll definitely take you up
on that offer sometime.
84
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,829
[screams]
85
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:06,913
Wanna see my…
86
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,874
secret freckle?
87
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,544
[chuckling]
88
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,712
[sighs, screams]
89
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,130
-[Rowley laughs]
-[Greg screams]
90
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,715
[screams, grunts]
91
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,928
[Rowley shouting]
Should we do that one over?
92
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,013
[grunts]
93
00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,349
[woman] Who's hungry?
94
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,353
[woman humming]
95
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:35,400
[baby grunts, giggles]
96
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:40,030
So, did everyone have a good day?
97
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,824
Frank, don't do that with your food.
It's weird.
98
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,452
-It tastes better this way.
-[baby grunts]
99
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,038
Hey! Oh!
100
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,497
I'm still gonna eat it.
101
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,293
Greg, is that dirt
on your back-to-school clothes?
102
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,961
[sighs] Please don't call them that.
103
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,339
What on earth were you doing
to get so filthy?
104
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,591
I was throwing a football in the street
with Rowley.
105
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:06,139
You were playing a sport with
your feet and hands and not a device.
106
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,265
[chuckles] Wo-- Wow.
107
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,017
I guess.
108
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,103
Mark the calendar, Susan.
Greg here played a sport.
109
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:15,231
You weren't playing that game
with Rowley, were you?
110
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,359
You know you're banned from playing that.
111
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,652
Somebody is going to get hurt.
112
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:20,737
What?
113
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,364
Oh! Oh, that game?
114
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,782
No. No way.
115
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,658
You said we couldn't play that anymore.
116
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:28,703
Right. And Rowley's parents
are in full agreement.
117
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:29,871
Mm-hmm.
118
00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:32,040
Okay, there. All clean.
119
00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:33,124
[baby laughs]
120
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,544
I'm only three. [laughing]
121
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,130
Speaking of Rowley,
how's he feeling about Monday?
122
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:41,633
Is he looking forward
to his first day of middle school?
123
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:42,926
Hmm. I'm not sure.
124
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,470
I think he might be
a little nervous, actually.
125
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:49,557
Well, he's lucky to have you
as a best friend.
126
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,727
You know, that's all you need to get by
in this world.
127
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,562
One good friend.
128
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,314
Yeah.
129
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,734
And you're lucky to have a big brother
130
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:03,113
who's already gone through
the middle school experience.
131
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,197
Right, Rodrick?
132
00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:08,118
-Rodrick!
-Huh?
133
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,413
Take off your headphones.
You know the rule.
134
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:15,125
Why don't you give Greg a pep talk
about middle school?
135
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,419
Greg's going to middle school?
136
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:18,837
Yes, Rodrick.
137
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,341
Why don't you tell him
what he can expect on his first day?
138
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,679
Okay, listen close. [sighs]
Here's what you need to know.
139
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,892
First of all, watch where you sit
on the first day of school,
140
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,520
because your teacher might make that
your permanent seat.
141
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,275
Next, don't use the bathroom
on the second floor,
142
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,444
no matter how bad you have to go.
143
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,488
-There aren't any doors on those stalls.
-[toilet flushes]
144
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:49,117
And finally, whatever you do,
145
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:52,287
don't get the Cheese Touch.
146
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:55,457
'Cause if you do,
you might as well be dead.
147
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,834
[whimpers]
148
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,002
Thank you, Rodrick,
149
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,171
-for that wonderful pep talk.
-[baby babbling]
150
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,257
Greg, please forget
everything that you just heard.
151
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,551
Especially the nonsense about the cheese.
152
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,346
But wha-- what's the Cheese Touch?
153
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,974
It all started
in my first year of middle school.
154
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,893
No one knows where it came from
155
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:16,561
-or who put it there.
-[boy] Don't do it!
156
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,937
-[Rodrick] One day…
-[girl] Stay away!
157
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,523
[Rodrick] …a slice of Swiss cheese
appeared on the blacktop.
158
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:21,608
[students] Ew!
159
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:22,692
[Rodrick] At first,
160
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,235
-no one would go near it.
-Ugh!
161
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,904
-[Rodrick] And then one day…
-Hmm.
162
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:28,531
[Rodrick]
…a kid named Darren Walsh got curious.
163
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:29,824
-[boy] No way!
-[screaming]
164
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,786
[Rodrick] And that's what started
the Cheese Touch.
165
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:38,291
The only way to get rid of the Cheese
Touch is to give it to someone else.
166
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,335
[screaming]
167
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,878
-[Rodrick] Then one day…
-[horn honks]
168
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,172
…a kid named Abe Hall moved to California.
169
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,424
He took the Cheese Touch with him.
170
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,635
But the cheese remained.
171
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:51,471
And to this day, it sits on the blacktop,
172
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,516
waiting to strike again!
173
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,393
[Greg] Well, that's terrifying.
174
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,853
Don't let Rodrick scare you, Greg.
175
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,939
Middle school's gonna be fun.
176
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:05,402
Oh, and please don't mention
the-- the cheese thing to Rowley.
177
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,363
Honestly,
it-- it'll scare him half to death.
178
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,323
Who's Rowley?
179
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:11,408
Greg's best friend.
180
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,494
You know, the kid who's over here
almost every single day.
181
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:15,829
[scoffs] Oh, him.
182
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,039
I thought you were babysitting that kid.
183
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,874
We're the same age.
184
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:21,793
He's the same age as y--
185
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,628
[chuckles]
186
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:27,674
Oh, man. I thought he was, like,
in kindergarten or something.
187
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,052
[laughs]
Middle school's gonna eat him alive.
188
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,137
Rodrick.
189
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,057
Let me give you
one last piece of advice, Greg.
190
00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,768
Middle school is every man for himself.
191
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,688
You don't need some overgrown baby
weighing you down.
192
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:42,856
[Susan] Rodrick!
193
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,274
That's enough.
194
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,526
[baby exclaims]
195
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,739
Greg, come on, man. Trust me.
196
00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:53,616
Cut him loose now or you both drown.
197
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,661
[door closes]
198
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:07,172
[video game beeping]
199
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,690
[video game beeps]
200
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,443
-You lose!
-[Rowley] Woo-hoo!
201
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,654
In your face, Greg! That's three in a row.
202
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,406
Wanna go again?
203
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,283
No, that's okay. We can shut it off.
204
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,576
What's the matter?
205
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,371
Afraid to lose?
206
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,706
No, I'm just not in the mood.
207
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:46,419
[imitating chicken clucking]
208
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,175
Rowley, cut it out!
209
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,636
I mean--
210
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,514
Don't you think
it's time to start acting our age?
211
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,350
But you always do the chicken thing to me.
212
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,811
[sighs] It's not just that, Rowley.
213
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,062
Look around this room.
214
00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:08,775
All these stuffed animals, that bedspread,
and what's with this Joshie guy anyway?
215
00:10:08,858 --> 00:10:10,610
Joshie's from Europe.
216
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:14,364
And you're just jealous
because I discovered him first.
217
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:17,701
Yeah, I'm jealous that you discovered
some stupid pop star
218
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,786
whose fans are only six-year-old girls.
219
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,079
Joshie says,
220
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:23,832
"Follow your dreams
and respect your parents."
221
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,751
Don't you think
it's time to grow up, Rowley?
222
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,211
You're in middle school now.
223
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,671
Well, not yet.
224
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,465
[Joshie]
"Be friendly to one another, yes?"
225
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,967
Come on, Rowley.
226
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,635
Middle school's no joke.
227
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:40,140
There's bullies, and bathrooms with
no stall doors, and permanent seats,
228
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,183
-and-- and--
-And what?
229
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:44,436
And the cheese!
230
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,937
What's the cheese?
231
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,361
[Susan]
Please don't mention the cheese thing.
232
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,863
It'll scare him half to death.
233
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,282
You know what?
234
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,825
Forget I said anything.
235
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,871
Middle school's gonna be just fine.
In fact, it'll be great.
236
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:07,709
Yeah, 'cause we're in it together.
Right, Greg? Friends till the end.
237
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,503
Yeah, friends till the end.
238
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:19,971
[school bell ringing]
239
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:23,141
-[girl] Hi, how was your summer?
-[boy] My summer was awesome.
240
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,852
[girl] No, I hate camp.
241
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,688
Oh, my gosh, I love your backpack.
242
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,648
[girl 2] Did your mom
dress you this morning?
243
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,275
[girl 3] Look at those high waters.
244
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,862
[girl] I heard that Peter Mud and Alicia
Tango got their braces stuck together
245
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:38,114
-over the summer.
-Move to the side, shrimp.
246
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:42,786
-Come on. Let's go. I don't wanna be late.
-But what about the-- the cheese?
247
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,038
That's just some stupid fairy tale
Rodrick made up.
248
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,083
[girl 4]
Stop trying to copy my style, please.
249
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,335
[chattering]
250
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,629
[girl 5] Nice mom jeans, Kelsey.
251
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:54,547
Hair color…
252
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:57,258
You know,
maybe this isn't such a good idea.
253
00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,219
Maybe my mom can homeschool me.
254
00:11:59,302 --> 00:12:00,512
-Come on, Rowley.
-[grunts]
255
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,180
You can do this.
256
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:06,393
We can do this. We just need
to find our lockers and we'll be fine.
257
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,727
Heads up.
258
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,145
-[Rowley grunts]
-[Greg] Whoa!
259
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,230
[grunts]
260
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:11,773
Ugh!
261
00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,776
-[boy] But I gotta go to the bathroom!
-[pounds on locker]
262
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:16,653
Ugh!
263
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,531
[groans]
264
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:23,535
[Rowley grunts]
265
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,704
-[boy chuckles]
-[Rowley groans]
266
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:29,082
That's not even… [gags] …sanitary.
267
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:30,792
Yep. Homeschool for sure.
268
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:31,876
One step at a time.
269
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,546
Don't make eye contact,
and they won't even notice you're here.
270
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,673
[girl 3] You better not be looking
at my boyfriend, Kelsey.
271
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,883
-[electric razor hums]
-[both groaning]
272
00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,219
[girl 4] Come on. I was eating that.
273
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,303
[groans]
274
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:44,973
-[boy groans]
-[shouts]
275
00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,474
Help me.
276
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:48,143
[both grunt]
277
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:49,561
[both whimper]
278
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:50,979
Mm-mmm.
279
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:53,356
That was close.
280
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:57,569
[boy 3] Kindergarten's
down the street. [laughs]
281
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:00,196
[Greg] Not so bad.
282
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,365
And look.
Our lockers are right next to each other.
283
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,242
[gasps] Yes!
284
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,412
Look. They keep our schedules in here.
285
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:08,830
Cool. Let me see yours.
286
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,791
But they don't match.
287
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,669
Well, we've got lunch together.
We'll see each other then.
288
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,129
[school bell rings]
289
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:17,672
-[boy] Oh, hey!
-[girl] See ya!
290
00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:18,965
What do we do now?
291
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,759
[Greg] We go to homeroom.
292
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,719
Mine's right here.
293
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,305
Yours is upstairs, I think.
294
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,557
-There's an upstairs?
-[chattering]
295
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,560
-Out of the way, runt.
-Move to the side, shrimp.
296
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,604
-Step aside, little man.
-Yes, not for long, little man.
297
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:36,649
Greg! What do I do? What do I do?
298
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,860
[Greg] There was no time
to worry about Rowley,
299
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,321
because I needed to focus
on my own situation.
300
00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:47,702
[sighs]
301
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,247
[chattering]
302
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,502
[grunts]
303
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,800
[Greg] I was glad Rodrick gave me
a few pointers, so I knew what not to do.
304
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,468
[chuckles softly]
305
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,765
-[girl] Oh, hey.
-[boy] Yeah. Awesome.
306
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:10,934
[grunts]
307
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:12,811
Uh…
308
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,273
-[squish]
-[gasps]
309
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,358
[whimpers]
310
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,320
[boy 2] Exactly!
311
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,073
-[Greg] But it turns out…
-[boy] Shh.
312
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,325
…having an older brother
who went to the same school
313
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,577
isn't such a good thing after all.
314
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,538
-Greg Heffley?
-Huh?
315
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,040
-As in Rodrick Heffley's brother?
-[boy laughs]
316
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:37,460
You'll be sitting
in the chair in front of my desk.
317
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,505
-[Greg groans]
-[students laughing]
318
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:42,173
[Greg chuckling]
319
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,801
[Greg groans] Oh!
320
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,761
-[boy] Bro, dude's with the weirdo.
-[whimpers]
321
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:49,806
[Greg] Just about everything's different
from elementary school.
322
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,474
[chuckles]
323
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,227
[girl] Wouldn't want to be him.
324
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,979
Mm-hmm.
325
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,691
[Greg] And the biggest change
is who's popular and who's not.
326
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,735
-Back in elementary school, it was simple.
-[starter pistol fires]
327
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:04,279
If you were the fastest runner,
you were the most popular.
328
00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,405
-In fifth grade…
-[cheering]
329
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,282
…the fastest runner was Ronnie McCoy.
330
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,200
But now, all the rules have changed.
331
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,662
Now it's all about whether or not
you have cool hair
332
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,914
and how many followers
you have on social media.
333
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:16,750
In middle school,
334
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,586
a kid like George Deveney
is at the top of the food chain,
335
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:23,298
and Ronnie McCoy is scratching his head
wondering what the heck happened.
336
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,634
So what I'm trying to figure out
is where I fit into all this.
337
00:15:26,718 --> 00:15:30,680
I'm sure I'm not at the top of the ladder,
but at least I'm not at the bottom.
338
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:31,765
[Greg gasps]
339
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,516
Does this scab smell funny to you?
340
00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:36,436
[Greg] But there's one way for sure
to get to the bottom.
341
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,520
Come on!
342
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,023
-[boy] Run! Yeah!
-Yo, get in there for the rebound, dude.
343
00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:42,776
[Greg] And nobody's risking that.
344
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,071
-[fly buzzes]
-[whistle blows]
345
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:47,364
[all gasp]
346
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,699
What are you standing around for?
347
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,117
Get the ball!
348
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,119
-[girl] Ew. It's so gross.
-[students gagging]
349
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,246
[gulps]
350
00:15:56,915 --> 00:16:00,669
-[boy] Hey, what did you get for lunch?
-[girl] Today I have a jacket.
351
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,837
[Rowley] Looks pretty full up.
352
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:04,881
Oh, hey.
353
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,927
Try your luck with someone else.
Maybe try the table next door.
354
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,012
-[cell phone chimes]
-Eighth-graders only, newbies.
355
00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,639
[Rowley] Should we sit with the girls?
356
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,516
We're out of our league here.
357
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,600
Hey! Over there.
358
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,395
-Take a hike.
-Hey.
359
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,814
-[girl] Band members only.
-[boy] Not today, guys.
360
00:16:21,564 --> 00:16:22,816
[Rowley] Over there. Let's go!
361
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,984
[girl 2] Yeah?
Check back when we're not so busy.
362
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,654
[chattering]
363
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,072
[laughs]
364
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,323
Uh…
365
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,451
[gasps] There's two!
366
00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,577
[Greg sighs]
367
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,621
-[playing lone note]
-[chattering continues]
368
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:38,164
And another thing.
369
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:41,042
Don't use the bathroom
on the second floor.
370
00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:43,670
That was a big mistake.
371
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,506
Yeah, I probably
should have warned you about that.
372
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,091
[piano keys clunk loudly]
373
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,300
[sighs]
374
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,429
I can't deal with this.
I need to be sitting at a table.
375
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,348
But you said only popular kids
get seats at the table.
376
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,476
[Greg] Well, I heard Charlie Davies
is getting braces next week,
377
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,395
so he'll definitely
drop a few spots for sure.
378
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:02,981
But that's only one spot. We need two.
379
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,442
[school bell ringing]
380
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:09,654
That's all the time we get?
I didn't even get to finish my juice box.
381
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,906
We gotta go to fifth period, Rowley.
382
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:14,325
I'll meet you back here
at the door after school.
383
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,703
But I don't want to go back out there.
384
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,122
Keep a low profile and you'll be fine.
385
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,876
Think good thoughts, Rowley.
386
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:26,755
Good thoughts, Rowley. Good thoughts.
387
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,882
Hey, Greg!
388
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:32,260
After school, wanna come over and play?
389
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:35,513
Play, play, play, play, play…
390
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,605
[all laughing]
391
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,106
[girl] Play.
392
00:17:45,190 --> 00:17:46,608
Play.
393
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,943
-Play.
-[boy] Play.
394
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:55,784
-[laughing continues]
-[shutters clicking]
395
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:01,664
[grunts]
396
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,000
I wanna come over and play. [laughs]
397
00:18:04,084 --> 00:18:07,295
-Hey, kid. Wanna come over and play?
-Huh?
398
00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:09,255
Um, no, thank you.
399
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:10,507
Psst! Rowley!
400
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,135
There you are! You said we were gonna
meet at the back door.
401
00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:15,845
"Hang out," Rowley.
402
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,765
You say "hang out" in middle school,
not "play."
403
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,642
I've told you that a million times.
404
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,561
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
405
00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,855
Seriously,
you gotta start listening to me, Rowley.
406
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,524
You're gonna get us both killed.
407
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:32,779
So, do you wanna hang out
and "do" video games?
408
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:33,863
Better.
409
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,993
[Greg] Thankfully,
Rowley did start listening to me.
410
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:41,246
We made it through
the next few weeks alive.
411
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,834
But by the time Halloween rolled around,
Rowley started to slip again.
412
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,921
Do you think our teachers will let us
wear our costumes to school tomorrow?
413
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:53,800
No, Rowley. No!
Have I not taught you anything?
414
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,302
They had a costume parade
in elementary school.
415
00:18:56,386 --> 00:19:00,056
Right, elementary school.
We're in middle school now, remember?
416
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,600
Yeah, you keep reminding me.
417
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:05,145
Listen. The only reason
I'm trick-or-treating this year
418
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,271
is for the candy.
419
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,232
And I really don't want anyone
knowing we're doing this, okay?
420
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:12,444
-I guess.
-Listen, things are hard enough at school.
421
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,988
I just don't wanna put a target
on our backs, you know?
422
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:16,740
Fine.
423
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,325
So wear something
that doesn't attract too much attention.
424
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,953
-Seriously, we have to be invisible.
-Got it.
425
00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,089
[doorbell rings]
426
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:35,425
[Susan] Ooh!
Is that our first trick-or-treater?
427
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,594
-Can someone get the door?
-I'm on it.
428
00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:42,807
[screams]
429
00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,851
[fanfare plays]
430
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,102
[floatie squeaks]
431
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,188
[Greg] What? Huh?
432
00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:49,647
[Greg groans]
433
00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:55,487
Rowley, what are you doing?
I thought we said we were being invisible?
434
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,531
-My mom made me add safety stuff.
-We can deal with costume stuff later.
435
00:19:58,615 --> 00:19:59,616
-[baby] Bubby.
-[Susan] Greg?
436
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,909
Let's get out of here before--
437
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,078
You weren't gonna leave without Manny,
were you?
438
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:06,331
-Rowley, you look adorable.
-Come on.
439
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,917
-[giggles]
-Mom, can't someone else take Manny?
440
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:13,129
Well, Rodrick's at the high school party,
I'm going to be handing out the candy,
441
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:17,676
and Dad is doing that thing
that he does on Halloween.
442
00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:20,887
[panting] Okay. Man your stations.
Well, I'll man mine.
443
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:24,140
Just making sure we're not getting
toilet-papered this year.
444
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:27,185
It takes too long to get that off.
No, no. It's not happening.
445
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:29,604
Good thoughts. All positivity.
446
00:20:29,688 --> 00:20:31,564
But Manny will just slow us down.
447
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:33,900
We're trying to double our territory
this year, Mom.
448
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,569
Well, there are only so many houses
in our neighborhood.
449
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:37,821
Wait a minute.
450
00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,324
You're not planning to take the shortcut
through Snake Road, are you?
451
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:42,951
-What? No.
-[Manny giggles]
452
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:44,994
[stammering]
453
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,746
[chuckles] That-- That would be crazy.
454
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:51,084
Good. Because you would be in big trouble
if you did.
455
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,962
-Right, Manny?
-[giggles]
456
00:20:54,045 --> 00:20:55,547
[Manny giggling]
457
00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,091
Keep to the sidewalks,
and I want you back at 8:00.
458
00:20:58,174 --> 00:20:59,259
It's a school night.
459
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:01,219
8:00? 8:00 a.m.?
460
00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,638
All right. I-- I mean, I'm fine with that.
461
00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,140
-[chuckles]
-[giggling]
462
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:08,143
Fine. 8:30 and not a second later.
463
00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:11,104
Oh, Rowley, you know what?
Those glow sticks are a great idea.
464
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,940
Let me see if I have any in the pantry.
465
00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,275
Okay, time to go.
466
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:17,444
-Come on, Manny. You wanna get some candy?
-[giggles]
467
00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:18,820
[Manny] Arr!
468
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,865
-[boy] Thank you.
-[girl] Isn't he in your class?
469
00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:25,076
-[boy 2] That's a kiddy costume!
-All right! Let's go!
470
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,828
It's the Prince of Preschool.
471
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:29,581
[girl] What a dork.
472
00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:32,375
[both] Trick or treat.
473
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,003
Trick or treat.
474
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:38,715
-Candy.
-Aw. Here, take five.
475
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,176
-Yay!
-[chuckles]
476
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,011
Thanks.
477
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:44,846
Aren't you too old for trick or treat?
478
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:46,681
[floatie squeaking]
479
00:21:48,558 --> 00:21:49,642
[grunts]
480
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:52,562
What the heck?
481
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,813
[doorbell rings]
482
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,609
[man chuckles] Aw.
483
00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:00,570
Bye.
484
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,988
[man chuckles]
485
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:03,948
[man grunts]
486
00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,076
[Greg] Unbelievable.
487
00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:07,744
[Manny grunts]
488
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:09,662
[Manny cries]
489
00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:13,416
Come on, guys.
We need to pick up the pace a little.
490
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:14,709
You guys are killing me.
491
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,966
-[sighs]
-[doorbell rings]
492
00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:26,513
[screaming, whimpering]
493
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:27,806
Hi.
494
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:30,934
Is that a cute little pirate I see?
495
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,018
[Manny] Mm-hmm.
496
00:22:32,102 --> 00:22:34,020
[giggling]
497
00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:35,063
[woman] Aw.
498
00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:37,232
Here's some extra booty for your bucket.
499
00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:38,733
-Biggie!
-Seriously?
500
00:22:38,817 --> 00:22:41,903
King-size?
It'll take you a week to get through that.
501
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,029
Bubby!
502
00:22:47,492 --> 00:22:48,493
Hmm…
503
00:22:49,661 --> 00:22:51,913
-Do you see what's happening here, Rowley?
-Hmm? Aw.
504
00:22:51,996 --> 00:22:53,707
-[Greg] This kid's our golden ticket!
-[Manny giggles]
505
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,458
[cash register bell dings]
506
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,836
[floatie squeaks]
507
00:22:58,420 --> 00:23:00,422
-Hmm?
-[Manny giggles]
508
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,132
[both] Aw.
509
00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:03,967
-[man] There you go.
-[cash register bell dings]
510
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,218
Oh, yes!
511
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:07,178
[Manny laughing] Yay!
512
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:10,348
Bubby! Candy!
513
00:23:10,849 --> 00:23:11,850
[gum pops]
514
00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:14,269
[floatie squeaking]
515
00:23:14,352 --> 00:23:16,563
I can't believe we never thought
of bringing Manny.
516
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:18,857
-This kid's a gold mine.
-Yeah. [sighs]
517
00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:21,526
So we'll stop by my house,
empty these bags in my room,
518
00:23:21,609 --> 00:23:23,445
then head back out for another round,
okay?
519
00:23:23,528 --> 00:23:27,490
I don't know. I mean, Manny looks tired.
520
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,367
He's fine. Aren't you, Manny?
521
00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:32,328
[snores, sighs]
522
00:23:32,412 --> 00:23:33,621
See? That was a nod.
523
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,541
-Actually, I'm kind of tired too.
-[Manny babbles]
524
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:40,170
Come on, Rowley.
We can stock up on candy for the year!
525
00:23:40,253 --> 00:23:42,255
We can't let this opportunity go to waste.
526
00:23:42,339 --> 00:23:44,132
But we don't need that much candy.
527
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:47,093
Seriously?
You can never have too much candy, Rowley.
528
00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:50,430
Candy's like money in middle school.
We can buy someone's lunch seats off them.
529
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:51,681
[Rowley yawns]
530
00:23:51,765 --> 00:23:53,975
How about just like
a couple more houses, okay?
531
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,477
[Rowley groaning]
532
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,728
It's the end of the night.
533
00:23:56,811 --> 00:23:58,646
Everyone's looking
to get rid of their candy.
534
00:23:58,730 --> 00:24:00,940
-We can make a killing.
-I don't know.
535
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:03,902
Okay, here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna hit Whirley Street.
536
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:06,821
Whirley Street?
But that's like a mile from here.
537
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,324
-Not if we take a shortcut.
-Snake Road?
538
00:24:09,866 --> 00:24:12,827
-Don't you remember what your mom said?
-She'll never even know.
539
00:24:12,911 --> 00:24:16,414
Twenty more minutes and we'll be back
at my house eating our candy. I promise.
540
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,751
We're not little kids anymore.
541
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:26,549
[floatie squeaking]
542
00:24:30,178 --> 00:24:31,721
All right. That's my boy.
543
00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:36,685
[animal howls]
544
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,647
[owl hooting]
545
00:24:41,523 --> 00:24:43,191
[floatie squeaking]
546
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,362
[animal calls]
547
00:24:48,697 --> 00:24:50,699
[squeaking continues]
548
00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:53,451
[animal calls]
549
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:56,329
[screams, groans]
550
00:24:57,205 --> 00:24:59,207
I-- I think we made a mistake.
551
00:24:59,290 --> 00:25:02,085
It's gonna be worth it, Rowley.
Just think about all the candy.
552
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:04,004
I don't even like candy all that much.
553
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:07,090
Rowley, do not say that.
Don't even joke about it.
554
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:10,802
Do you think the Goat Man is gonna get us?
555
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:13,763
Are you kidding me, Rowley?
That's obviously a made-up story.
556
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:17,517
-Rodrick was just trying to scare us.
-That's what you said about the cheese.
557
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,352
And that was real.
558
00:25:19,436 --> 00:25:22,063
Yeah, well, a half-man, half-goat?
559
00:25:22,147 --> 00:25:24,274
It's not even physically possible, Rowley.
560
00:25:24,357 --> 00:25:25,358
[animal bleats]
561
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:28,445
-[wings flapping]
-[animals howling]
562
00:25:32,949 --> 00:25:33,950
But--
563
00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:36,494
But if the Goat Man was real,
564
00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:39,622
do you think he's a goat on the top
and a person on the bottom?
565
00:25:40,248 --> 00:25:41,791
Or the other way around?
566
00:25:42,459 --> 00:25:44,502
Or do you think
he's got a split down the middle
567
00:25:44,586 --> 00:25:47,047
with a goat on the left side
and a person on the right?
568
00:25:47,130 --> 00:25:48,131
[Greg grunts]
569
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:50,967
Can we stop talking about this?
I think I hear some--
570
00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:54,304
-[vehicle approaching]
-[rock music playing]
571
00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:55,972
[groans]
572
00:25:56,056 --> 00:25:58,308
-["Breaking the Law" playing]
-[engine revs]
573
00:25:58,391 --> 00:25:59,476
Teenagers!
574
00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:01,978
♪ Breaking the law, breaking the law ♪
575
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:04,230
Whoa! That was close!
576
00:26:04,773 --> 00:26:07,776
Yeah. Um, let's just keep moving before--
577
00:26:07,859 --> 00:26:10,904
[tires screeching]
578
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:12,364
-[engine revs]
-[floatie squeaks]
579
00:26:13,865 --> 00:26:16,785
[bully] Free candy. [laughs]
580
00:26:16,868 --> 00:26:19,412
♪ Breaking the law, breaking the law ♪
581
00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:21,539
♪ Breaking the law, breaking the law ♪
582
00:26:21,623 --> 00:26:22,707
[tires screech]
583
00:26:22,791 --> 00:26:23,958
♪ Breaking the law, break-- ♪
584
00:26:24,042 --> 00:26:25,627
-[engine turns off]
-[laughs]
585
00:26:25,710 --> 00:26:29,547
Look at these little nerds,
out past their bedtimes.
586
00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:33,760
Yeah. Shouldn't you be getting
a good night's sleep? [chuckles]
587
00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:38,723
Kindergarten starts early. [laughing]
588
00:26:39,307 --> 00:26:42,185
Actually, we're in middle school.
My bedtime's not until 9:00.
589
00:26:42,268 --> 00:26:44,604
Mom let me stay up extra tonight.
590
00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:47,565
Yeah, we-- we better head home.
Have a good night, fellas.
591
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:51,528
Ooh! Look at those bags.
Is that all candy?
592
00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:55,740
Mostly. But my parents handed out
miniature toothbrushes this year,
593
00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:57,409
so we've got those too.
594
00:26:57,492 --> 00:27:00,954
We'd really better-- [chuckles]
We-- We'd really better get going now.
595
00:27:01,037 --> 00:27:05,083
It would be a real pity
if that candy got wet.
596
00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:07,544
[laughs]
597
00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:15,135
-[bully 2 laughing]
-[Greg, Rowley screaming]
598
00:27:15,218 --> 00:27:16,553
[bully 3 laughs]
599
00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:19,139
-What?
-Huh?
600
00:27:19,222 --> 00:27:22,350
[upbeat orchestra music playing]
601
00:27:22,434 --> 00:27:23,643
-[growls]
-[groans]
602
00:27:23,727 --> 00:27:25,895
Greg, run!
603
00:27:25,979 --> 00:27:27,731
[Rowley pants]
604
00:27:30,650 --> 00:27:32,277
[bully 2 laughs] Let's go!
605
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,445
[tires squealing]
606
00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:38,033
[bullies cheering, laughing]
607
00:27:38,116 --> 00:27:39,701
[panting, screaming]
608
00:27:39,784 --> 00:27:41,369
[Rowley] Hang on to Manny!
609
00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:43,288
[Rowley panting, grunts]
610
00:27:44,039 --> 00:27:45,331
[squeaks]
611
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:49,878
[grunts]
612
00:27:49,961 --> 00:27:51,796
[bullies] Whoa!
613
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,465
[panting]
614
00:27:53,548 --> 00:27:55,133
[bullies laugh]
615
00:27:55,216 --> 00:27:56,843
-Yeah!
-[laughing]
616
00:27:56,926 --> 00:27:59,095
[panting continues]
617
00:27:59,179 --> 00:28:01,014
[both grunting]
618
00:28:03,141 --> 00:28:04,559
[grunts]
619
00:28:05,810 --> 00:28:07,228
[both grunting]
620
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:09,647
[laughs] Yeah, baby!
621
00:28:09,731 --> 00:28:11,316
[panting]
622
00:28:11,399 --> 00:28:13,151
[laughs] Not so fast!
623
00:28:13,234 --> 00:28:14,235
[panting continues]
624
00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:15,236
[bully] Whoo!
625
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:16,529
[Greg grunts]
626
00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:20,867
-[bullies screaming]
-[tires squealing]
627
00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:22,994
-[Greg] Whoa!
-[Rowley screams]
628
00:28:23,578 --> 00:28:25,246
[bullies screaming]
629
00:28:27,290 --> 00:28:29,042
[screams, grunts]
630
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:29,959
[growls]
631
00:28:30,043 --> 00:28:31,461
[panting]
632
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:34,130
[laughing]
633
00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:35,256
Oh, yes!
634
00:28:36,633 --> 00:28:38,802
You'll pay for this!
635
00:28:42,514 --> 00:28:44,766
We know where you go to school!
636
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:47,143
[engine stalls]
637
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:50,021
-Whoa!
-[screams]
638
00:28:50,105 --> 00:28:51,147
[both grunting]
639
00:28:51,231 --> 00:28:54,734
[grunting, groaning]
640
00:28:57,153 --> 00:28:58,321
[Manny yawns]
641
00:28:59,739 --> 00:29:00,740
Is this…
642
00:29:01,658 --> 00:29:03,868
My yard! We made it, Rowley.
643
00:29:03,952 --> 00:29:05,453
We're alive!
644
00:29:06,579 --> 00:29:07,622
I told you, Rowley.
645
00:29:07,706 --> 00:29:10,000
If you just stick with me,
everything will be fine.
646
00:29:10,083 --> 00:29:12,544
Now let's get inside
and enjoy some of this candy.
647
00:29:13,044 --> 00:29:14,045
[both scream]
648
00:29:15,088 --> 00:29:16,715
Ha ha! Oh!
649
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,634
Sorry. I-I thought you were teenagers.
650
00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:20,844
Are you all right?
651
00:29:21,428 --> 00:29:22,554
You're all right.
652
00:29:23,763 --> 00:29:25,432
We were worried sick about you two.
653
00:29:25,515 --> 00:29:26,766
-Mama.
-Where were you boys?
654
00:29:28,018 --> 00:29:29,519
Snake Road.
655
00:29:29,602 --> 00:29:30,603
[chuckles]
656
00:29:30,687 --> 00:29:31,813
[Manny] Busted.
657
00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:34,691
[Greg] Mom grounded me
from playing video games for a week,
658
00:29:34,774 --> 00:29:36,151
which is her go-to punishment.
659
00:29:36,234 --> 00:29:39,904
That meant I had to figure out something
else to do with my time after school.
660
00:29:39,988 --> 00:29:41,031
Woo-hoo!
661
00:29:42,615 --> 00:29:43,616
Woo-hoo!
662
00:29:47,954 --> 00:29:49,205
[gulps]
663
00:29:50,248 --> 00:29:53,084
I'm thinking I might either
run for student council
664
00:29:53,168 --> 00:29:56,671
or maybe sign up for the dance committee.
Or maybe I'll try out for the play.
665
00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:59,132
-They're doing Wizard of Oz this year.
-Uh-huh.
666
00:29:59,215 --> 00:30:00,925
Chirag Gupta wants to be Toto,
667
00:30:01,009 --> 00:30:04,596
and Patty Farrell says
Mrs. Norton already promised her Dorothy.
668
00:30:04,679 --> 00:30:08,683
I'm trying to decide if I wanna try out
for the Scarecrow or the Cowardly Lion.
669
00:30:08,767 --> 00:30:11,478
[sighs] Sounds great, Rowley.
Can you go now?
670
00:30:11,561 --> 00:30:13,605
Well,
aren't you gonna sign up for anything?
671
00:30:13,688 --> 00:30:17,692
My mom says, "It's important to belong to
something when you're in middle school."
672
00:30:17,776 --> 00:30:18,985
Belong to something?
673
00:30:19,069 --> 00:30:22,113
Rowley, I can't even get a seat at lunch,
and I'm sick and tired of it.
674
00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:23,406
But if we were in the play,
675
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:26,576
we could make friends who could invite us
to sit at their lunch table.
676
00:30:26,659 --> 00:30:29,704
That's a lot of work, Rowley.
And it'll take too much of my time.
677
00:30:29,788 --> 00:30:31,373
I need to change my situation now!
678
00:30:40,590 --> 00:30:42,050
[chuckles] Oh, yeah!
679
00:30:43,468 --> 00:30:45,970
[grunts] Whoa!
680
00:30:46,054 --> 00:30:47,305
Hey, oh!
681
00:30:47,972 --> 00:30:49,057
Rowley!
682
00:30:49,140 --> 00:30:50,141
[groans]
683
00:30:50,642 --> 00:30:53,978
You okay? I feel so bad!
I really didn't mean to flip you.
684
00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:55,772
[groaning]
685
00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:57,399
I think I hurt my arm.
686
00:30:57,482 --> 00:30:59,984
Yeah, I think I might have pulled
something myself.
687
00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,821
Can you believe that throw though?
I mean--
688
00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:03,905
[groans]
689
00:31:04,406 --> 00:31:05,448
Ow.
690
00:31:05,532 --> 00:31:07,158
Oh, man. You're really hurt.
691
00:31:08,118 --> 00:31:09,119
[groans]
692
00:31:09,202 --> 00:31:10,870
I think I'd better go home.
693
00:31:11,413 --> 00:31:14,374
Okay. But you can't tell your parents
how this happened.
694
00:31:14,457 --> 00:31:17,335
If my mom found out
we were playing this game, she'd go nuts.
695
00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:20,046
-I'm already grounded.
-What am I supposed to tell them then?
696
00:31:20,130 --> 00:31:23,174
Just say you were playing tag
and that you tripped on the curb.
697
00:31:23,258 --> 00:31:25,802
But whatever you do,
don't mention the Rumble Trike.
698
00:31:29,097 --> 00:31:30,098
Got it?
699
00:31:30,682 --> 00:31:31,683
Got it.
700
00:31:38,148 --> 00:31:41,192
-[Greg] So what happened at the hospital?
-[Rowley] They took a bunch of X-rays.
701
00:31:41,276 --> 00:31:43,236
The doctor says my arm is broken.
702
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,404
Broken?
703
00:31:44,487 --> 00:31:47,032
Oh, man. I thought it was just
bruised or something.
704
00:31:47,115 --> 00:31:49,909
Nope. I've got a cast and everything.
705
00:31:49,993 --> 00:31:52,120
A cast? That's serious!
706
00:31:52,203 --> 00:31:53,580
[Rowley] Yeah, I know.
707
00:31:53,663 --> 00:31:55,874
I mean,
that's really awful and everything.
708
00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:58,626
-But do you know what this means?
-Yeah.
709
00:31:58,710 --> 00:32:02,339
I have to put a plastic bag over my arm
in the shower for a whole month.
710
00:32:02,422 --> 00:32:05,342
No! What this means for school.
711
00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:10,096
I guess I can't do
the wrestling unit in Phys Ed?
712
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:13,183
Rowley! A cast is the greatest
thing that can happen to a kid.
713
00:32:13,266 --> 00:32:15,060
-It is?
-Yes, Rowley.
714
00:32:15,143 --> 00:32:18,229
-Everyone's gonna wanna sign it.
-What? They will?
715
00:32:18,313 --> 00:32:21,191
Yes. Kids will be begging you
to sit at their lunch table.
716
00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:22,275
Yeah.
717
00:32:22,359 --> 00:32:24,861
And I hope you'll remember
who your real friends are, Rowley.
718
00:32:24,944 --> 00:32:27,030
The people who helped you get
to where you are.
719
00:32:27,113 --> 00:32:28,823
-Yeah.
-What about your parents?
720
00:32:28,907 --> 00:32:29,991
Are they suspicious?
721
00:32:30,075 --> 00:32:33,328
I told them I tripped on a rock
playing Duck, Duck, Goose, like you said.
722
00:32:33,411 --> 00:32:34,746
Like I said?
723
00:32:34,829 --> 00:32:37,957
We were playing tag, Rowley!
And you tripped over the curb.
724
00:32:38,041 --> 00:32:41,586
It doesn't even make sense for two people
to play Duck, Duck, Goose. Come on!
725
00:32:41,670 --> 00:32:45,382
-Oh, yeah. Sorry.
-We gotta get our story straight,
726
00:32:45,465 --> 00:32:47,384
or they're gonna find out
about the Rumble Trike.
727
00:32:47,467 --> 00:32:49,594
Did you say, "Rumble Trike"?
728
00:32:53,223 --> 00:32:54,224
[gulps]
729
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,936
[Susan] I don't know
what to do with you, Greg.
730
00:32:58,019 --> 00:33:00,689
First you disobey me and go to Snake Road.
731
00:33:00,772 --> 00:33:02,774
Then you play that-- that game.
732
00:33:02,857 --> 00:33:05,819
I told you someone
was going to get hurt playing that.
733
00:33:05,902 --> 00:33:07,737
[sighs] I'm sorry, Mom. I just…
734
00:33:07,821 --> 00:33:10,907
And now this? [sighs]
735
00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:12,992
Lying to me is bad enough,
736
00:33:13,076 --> 00:33:17,539
but telling Rowley to lie to his parents
is just-- just--
737
00:33:18,039 --> 00:33:19,040
[sighs]
738
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:21,543
Mom, I know I messed up.
739
00:33:22,585 --> 00:33:24,921
You can take away my video games
for the month.
740
00:33:25,005 --> 00:33:26,631
The year if it makes you feel better.
741
00:33:26,715 --> 00:33:29,884
Punishing you doesn't make me feel better,
Greg.
742
00:33:29,968 --> 00:33:31,761
I'm trying to raise a good kid.
743
00:33:31,845 --> 00:33:33,513
I do wanna be good, Mom.
744
00:33:34,639 --> 00:33:36,224
Well, then here's what you need to do.
745
00:33:36,307 --> 00:33:40,061
You need to figure out a way
to make things right by Rowley.
746
00:33:41,104 --> 00:33:42,522
You owe that to him.
747
00:33:43,273 --> 00:33:45,608
That boy is such a good friend to you.
748
00:33:46,484 --> 00:33:47,485
Yeah, Mom.
749
00:33:48,361 --> 00:33:50,488
I can't tell you how to make things right.
750
00:33:51,322 --> 00:33:52,699
That part is up to you.
751
00:33:53,283 --> 00:33:54,284
[sighs]
752
00:33:56,244 --> 00:33:59,914
-But Mom…
-Listen to that inner voice, Greg.
753
00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:02,375
I know it's in there.
754
00:34:03,126 --> 00:34:04,377
Do the right thing.
755
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:06,921
[door closes]
756
00:34:10,175 --> 00:34:12,844
[Greg] Okay,
I know what my mom wanted me to do.
757
00:34:12,927 --> 00:34:15,930
She wanted me to tell Rowley's parents
the truth about what happened.
758
00:34:16,973 --> 00:34:20,643
But here's the thing.
Rowley's dad has never really liked me.
759
00:34:20,727 --> 00:34:23,063
I knew if I told him what really happened,
760
00:34:23,146 --> 00:34:25,607
it was just gonna make him
like me even less.
761
00:34:25,690 --> 00:34:27,317
That wouldn't make things any better.
762
00:34:28,026 --> 00:34:29,903
I don't wanna get Rowley in trouble
for lying,
763
00:34:29,986 --> 00:34:31,780
'cause then he'd be in trouble too.
764
00:34:31,863 --> 00:34:36,618
So, I decided the right thing to do
was to just let things be.
765
00:34:40,872 --> 00:34:43,750
Because telling the truth
would make things worse for everybody.
766
00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:54,094
[chattering]
767
00:34:54,886 --> 00:34:56,971
-Ooh.
-Oh, my gosh. What happened?
768
00:34:57,055 --> 00:34:59,265
-It looks so cool.
-Oh, you're so great.
769
00:35:00,183 --> 00:35:01,184
Can I sign it?
770
00:35:01,267 --> 00:35:03,812
[Greg] And I'll tell you another thing
that I was right about.
771
00:35:05,438 --> 00:35:08,775
That cast. In fact, it worked even better
than I thought it would.
772
00:35:11,069 --> 00:35:12,320
It's so cool.
773
00:35:12,404 --> 00:35:14,572
[chattering]
774
00:35:14,656 --> 00:35:17,909
[Greg] Just like I predicted, getting
a seat at lunch was no problem at all.
775
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:20,286
[sighs]
776
00:35:20,370 --> 00:35:21,705
[grunts]
777
00:35:21,788 --> 00:35:22,789
[grunts]
778
00:35:24,958 --> 00:35:26,835
[Greg] Well,
at least for Rowley it wasn't a problem.
779
00:35:26,918 --> 00:35:29,379
Here comes the airplane.
780
00:35:29,462 --> 00:35:32,882
-[girl imitates airplane]
-[imitates airplane, smacks lips]
781
00:35:32,966 --> 00:35:35,677
-Nom!
-Here comes the train!
782
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:39,556
Chugga chugga chugga, choo choo!
783
00:35:41,891 --> 00:35:43,643
He can feed himself just fine, okay?
784
00:35:43,727 --> 00:35:45,228
Mmm.
785
00:35:45,311 --> 00:35:47,022
You know Rowley's left-handed?
786
00:35:47,105 --> 00:35:48,356
Who are you?
787
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,234
I'm Greg Heffley, Rowley's best friend.
788
00:35:51,317 --> 00:35:52,819
I'm the one who broke his arm.
789
00:35:52,902 --> 00:35:53,903
[girls stammering]
790
00:35:53,987 --> 00:35:55,030
You jerk!
791
00:35:55,113 --> 00:35:56,364
-[girl] Get out of here.
-[boy] Heads up!
792
00:35:56,448 --> 00:35:59,075
[chattering, laughing]
793
00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:02,328
[Greg] I couldn't have Rowley
hog all the attention,
794
00:36:02,412 --> 00:36:04,581
so I decided to whip up
an injury of my own.
795
00:36:08,793 --> 00:36:12,172
[chattering]
796
00:36:12,255 --> 00:36:13,381
[girl gasps]
797
00:36:13,465 --> 00:36:15,508
Yeah. No big deal. [sighs]
798
00:36:15,592 --> 00:36:19,054
It's just an infection caused by
a splinter that was left untreated.
799
00:36:19,137 --> 00:36:20,472
[gags]
800
00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:24,434
-Hey.
-[screams]
801
00:36:24,517 --> 00:36:26,770
Can I peek at your infection?
802
00:36:26,853 --> 00:36:27,979
[grunts] Ew.
803
00:36:29,105 --> 00:36:31,858
[Greg] I realized I couldn't compete
with Rowley's stupid injury.
804
00:36:32,692 --> 00:36:34,069
[grunts]
805
00:36:34,152 --> 00:36:36,196
So that meant I needed
to find something of my own.
806
00:36:36,279 --> 00:36:38,323
And just like that, I did.
807
00:36:49,709 --> 00:36:50,710
[door closes]
808
00:36:51,961 --> 00:36:54,255
Hey, Greg.
I couldn't find you after school.
809
00:36:54,339 --> 00:36:55,340
Huh?
810
00:36:55,423 --> 00:36:57,842
Sorry. I wanted to go home
and start working on my comics.
811
00:36:57,926 --> 00:37:00,136
Your comics? For what?
812
00:37:00,220 --> 00:37:01,388
The school paper.
813
00:37:01,471 --> 00:37:04,099
One of the cartoonists quit,
so now there's a spot open.
814
00:37:07,769 --> 00:37:08,895
Can I help?
815
00:37:08,978 --> 00:37:11,106
Sorry, Rowley. There's only one spot open.
816
00:37:14,567 --> 00:37:16,361
[laughing]
817
00:37:16,444 --> 00:37:18,071
Zoo-Wee Mama!
818
00:37:18,154 --> 00:37:19,406
[laughs]
819
00:37:19,489 --> 00:37:21,074
This is funny!
820
00:37:22,409 --> 00:37:24,744
"Oops. I've stepped in a puddle!
821
00:37:25,245 --> 00:37:28,248
Well, at least it's not an acid puddle!
822
00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:33,086
Ah! It is an acid puddle!
823
00:37:33,169 --> 00:37:35,005
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
824
00:37:35,088 --> 00:37:38,717
Zoo-Wee Mama!
Do you have any more like this one?
825
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,427
I'm working on something better.
826
00:37:40,510 --> 00:37:43,179
Check this one out.
It's called "Creighton the Cretin."
827
00:37:43,263 --> 00:37:47,642
[Rowley] "Hiya, doc! Can I get a new butt?
My old one has a crack in it."
828
00:37:47,726 --> 00:37:50,437
"Everyone's butt has a crack in it,
you idiot!"
829
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:51,521
"Oops."
830
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,399
But when does he say, "Zoo-Wee Mama"?
831
00:37:54,482 --> 00:37:55,692
He doesn't.
832
00:37:55,775 --> 00:37:59,738
I think it'd be funnier if he said,
"Zoo-Wee Mama!"
833
00:38:02,782 --> 00:38:06,036
You know what? If you wanna draw
your own comic, be my guest.
834
00:38:06,119 --> 00:38:08,371
But we always do everything together.
835
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:11,416
Yeah, well, not this time. Sorry.
836
00:38:12,542 --> 00:38:14,753
But can we be partners?
837
00:38:14,836 --> 00:38:16,838
You can write the comic,
and I can draw it.
838
00:38:17,589 --> 00:38:20,175
No offense, Rowley,
but you don't even draw noses on people.
839
00:38:20,258 --> 00:38:24,304
Sorry. This is kinda my thing,
like the way Joshie's your thing.
840
00:38:24,387 --> 00:38:28,308
Okay. Well, I guess I'll go work
on my comic at my house.
841
00:38:29,142 --> 00:38:30,185
Sounds good.
842
00:38:34,314 --> 00:38:35,398
[sighs]
843
00:38:38,651 --> 00:38:39,736
See ya.
844
00:38:43,782 --> 00:38:47,077
-[school bell rings]
-[chattering]
845
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,497
[Greg] After I turned in my comic,
all I could do was wait.
846
00:38:51,289 --> 00:38:53,583
But after a whole week went by,
847
00:38:54,709 --> 00:38:56,628
Mr. Humphreys made an announcement.
848
00:38:56,711 --> 00:38:59,422
[Mr. Humphreys on PA] Attention, students.
After careful consideration,
849
00:38:59,506 --> 00:39:02,634
we've made a decision
on the cartoonist for the school paper.
850
00:39:02,717 --> 00:39:04,469
And the new cartoonist is…
851
00:39:05,178 --> 00:39:08,014
-Greg Heffley.
-Yes! Yes!
852
00:39:10,725 --> 00:39:13,478
This is possibly the biggest thing
that has ever happened to me.
853
00:39:13,561 --> 00:39:14,646
[chattering, laughing]
854
00:39:14,729 --> 00:39:17,148
-That's the dude?
-He wrote that?
855
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:19,818
Is that cartoon kid?
856
00:39:20,819 --> 00:39:22,696
[laughing]
857
00:39:22,779 --> 00:39:24,948
[Greg] For the first time since I stepped
through those double doors,
858
00:39:25,031 --> 00:39:26,700
I wasn't invisible.
859
00:39:26,783 --> 00:39:28,284
-[grunts]
-Teacher's pet!
860
00:39:28,368 --> 00:39:30,286
[boy] Aren't comics supposed
to make you laugh?
861
00:39:30,370 --> 00:39:31,579
"Creighton the Curious Student."
862
00:39:31,663 --> 00:39:33,248
-[girl] Did you think that was funny?
-What the--
863
00:39:33,331 --> 00:39:38,336
[Greg] "Teacher, if x plus 43 is 89,
what would x be?"
864
00:39:38,420 --> 00:39:40,046
"Why, it would be 46!"
865
00:39:40,130 --> 00:39:43,299
"Thanks! Kids,
if you'd like to learn more about math,
866
00:39:43,383 --> 00:39:45,677
have Mr. Humphreys show you around
867
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,139
the newly expanded
math and science section of the library."
868
00:39:49,222 --> 00:39:53,309
"And thanks to the Parent-Teacher
Organization for funding the new section.
869
00:39:53,393 --> 00:39:55,729
Our old books were badly outdated."
870
00:39:55,812 --> 00:39:57,230
They changed it?
871
00:39:57,313 --> 00:39:59,899
-Teacher's pet!
-Thanks for ruining my day.
872
00:39:59,983 --> 00:40:01,735
-What a waste of ink.
-Nerd!
873
00:40:01,818 --> 00:40:03,361
[chattering]
874
00:40:03,445 --> 00:40:04,821
[chattering stops]
875
00:40:04,904 --> 00:40:06,865
[all] Boo!
876
00:40:06,948 --> 00:40:07,949
[boy] Teacher's pet!
877
00:40:08,033 --> 00:40:09,409
[Greg] See? That's what happens
878
00:40:09,492 --> 00:40:11,953
when the school librarian
is in charge of the newspaper.
879
00:40:12,037 --> 00:40:14,080
They've always gotta get pushy
with their books.
880
00:40:14,164 --> 00:40:15,957
[students booing]
881
00:40:16,041 --> 00:40:17,542
[Greg] One week after I quit,
882
00:40:17,625 --> 00:40:21,171
Mr. Humphreys chose someone to replace me,
and you'll never believe who he picked.
883
00:40:21,254 --> 00:40:23,131
-[girl] Zoo-Wee Mama!
-[chattering]
884
00:40:23,214 --> 00:40:25,008
[laughing]
885
00:40:26,426 --> 00:40:27,886
[boy] Zoo-Wee Mama!
886
00:40:28,386 --> 00:40:32,307
[laughing]
887
00:40:32,390 --> 00:40:35,977
-[boy 2] Zoo-Wee Mama!
-Zoo-Wee Mama!
888
00:40:36,061 --> 00:40:37,062
[laughs]
889
00:40:37,145 --> 00:40:39,356
Zoo-Wee Mama!
890
00:40:39,856 --> 00:40:41,775
[girl laughs]
891
00:40:41,858 --> 00:40:43,568
[boy 3] Zoo-Wee Mama!
892
00:40:47,155 --> 00:40:50,200
[Greg] "Hey, pretty lady.
Do you wanna go on a date?"
893
00:40:50,283 --> 00:40:53,411
"I'm actually not a lady.
I'm one of those dogs with long hair.
894
00:40:53,495 --> 00:40:55,330
So, no thanks to that date."
895
00:40:55,413 --> 00:40:57,207
"Zoo-Wee Mama!"
896
00:40:57,290 --> 00:41:01,878
So a kid who can barely draw
got his comic in the school paper?
897
00:41:01,961 --> 00:41:05,298
It's totally unfair.
Why didn't they censor Rowley's work?
898
00:41:07,926 --> 00:41:09,010
[piano keys clang]
899
00:41:13,598 --> 00:41:15,183
You stole my comic.
900
00:41:15,266 --> 00:41:17,310
You said you didn't wanna do it anymore.
901
00:41:17,394 --> 00:41:20,146
Well, couldn't you come up
with something original for once, Rowley?
902
00:41:20,230 --> 00:41:22,732
Well, I can't help it
if I'm just naturally funny.
903
00:41:22,816 --> 00:41:24,359
Zoo-Wee Mama!
904
00:41:24,442 --> 00:41:25,777
Zoo-Wee Mama!
905
00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:29,114
-Zoo-Wee Mama!
-[students] Zoo-Wee Mama!
906
00:41:29,197 --> 00:41:31,783
[cheering]
907
00:41:31,866 --> 00:41:35,745
You know what? I hope you enjoy all this,
because I'm tired of carrying you.
908
00:41:35,829 --> 00:41:37,747
Maybe it's the other way around.
909
00:41:37,831 --> 00:41:40,917
This comic, this lunch table, that cast.
910
00:41:41,001 --> 00:41:43,378
You wouldn't have any of it
if it wasn't for me!
911
00:41:43,461 --> 00:41:45,547
Yeah, because you broke my arm.
912
00:41:45,630 --> 00:41:46,840
Yeah. You're welcome.
913
00:41:49,217 --> 00:41:52,137
[students groan, giggle]
914
00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:57,100
-[bully] Rowley deserves your respect.
-[whimpers]
915
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:00,895
-Zoo-Wee Mama!
-[students] Oh!
916
00:42:00,979 --> 00:42:01,980
[slurps]
917
00:42:02,063 --> 00:42:03,815
[Greg] Okay, I'll admit.
918
00:42:03,898 --> 00:42:06,609
Maybe I could have handled
the situation at lunch a little better.
919
00:42:06,693 --> 00:42:08,028
But I figured, after a while,
920
00:42:08,111 --> 00:42:10,447
me and Rowley would cool down,
things would go back to normal.
921
00:42:10,530 --> 00:42:12,574
So do you like DinoBlasters?
922
00:42:12,657 --> 00:42:13,658
No.
923
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,618
I love it.
924
00:42:15,702 --> 00:42:17,370
[both laugh]
925
00:42:20,123 --> 00:42:22,167
[Greg] Thing is, that hasn't happened yet.
926
00:42:28,882 --> 00:42:31,968
Rowley's been hanging out
with this kid Chirag every day.
927
00:42:32,052 --> 00:42:34,721
You know the only reason he's doing it
is to make me jealous.
928
00:42:34,804 --> 00:42:36,556
[both laughing]
929
00:42:36,639 --> 00:42:38,933
But two can play at that game.
930
00:42:43,188 --> 00:42:45,190
-You wanna see my room?
-Yeah.
931
00:42:45,899 --> 00:42:46,900
[scoffs]
932
00:42:47,817 --> 00:42:48,818
[scoffs]
933
00:42:51,279 --> 00:42:52,280
[sighs]
934
00:43:06,795 --> 00:43:07,796
Yes! Come on!
935
00:43:15,428 --> 00:43:17,055
[doorbell rings]
936
00:43:17,138 --> 00:43:21,518
[door creaking]
937
00:43:22,894 --> 00:43:24,104
[gasps]
938
00:43:24,187 --> 00:43:28,817
The one and only Greg Heffley
is on my front step.
939
00:43:28,900 --> 00:43:30,777
[gasps, chuckles]
940
00:43:30,860 --> 00:43:32,987
Yeah, I guess I am.
941
00:43:33,947 --> 00:43:36,825
So I was thinking,
me and you are neighbors.
942
00:43:36,908 --> 00:43:37,909
Yeah. Uh-huh.
943
00:43:37,992 --> 00:43:40,745
But we barely even know each other.
944
00:43:40,829 --> 00:43:42,330
How'd you feel about a sleepover?
945
00:43:42,414 --> 00:43:43,415
Tonight?
946
00:43:43,998 --> 00:43:46,835
Yeah. Right now.
You and me. Just a couple of pals.
947
00:43:46,918 --> 00:43:48,753
Woo-hoo! Come on in.
948
00:43:49,254 --> 00:43:50,630
[laughing]
949
00:43:55,677 --> 00:43:57,137
[birds squawk]
950
00:43:57,679 --> 00:43:58,763
[clocks ticking]
951
00:43:58,847 --> 00:44:00,265
Hey! [chuckles]
952
00:44:02,726 --> 00:44:04,019
[laughter echoes]
953
00:44:04,102 --> 00:44:06,354
-[grunts]
-[clock chimes]
954
00:44:09,441 --> 00:44:12,152
You know, maybe we should take this
one step at a time.
955
00:44:12,235 --> 00:44:15,947
How about if we just play
a quick game of cards and call it a night?
956
00:44:19,159 --> 00:44:20,577
-[Fregley babbles]
-[screams]
957
00:44:20,660 --> 00:44:23,163
Hey, Greg.
958
00:44:23,246 --> 00:44:25,081
[stammers, whimpers]
959
00:44:25,165 --> 00:44:27,167
[laughing]
960
00:44:28,585 --> 00:44:29,794
-[screams]
-[Greg screams]
961
00:44:29,878 --> 00:44:32,881
[Fregley's mother] Oh, Fregley.
Do you have a playmate over?
962
00:44:32,964 --> 00:44:35,675
Would you like for me
to knit him some socks?
963
00:44:35,759 --> 00:44:38,303
[Greg] Yep. I'm pretty sure
I'm gonna be in therapy over this.
964
00:44:38,803 --> 00:44:40,138
Yeah! [laughs]
965
00:44:40,221 --> 00:44:41,598
Whoo!
966
00:44:41,681 --> 00:44:43,725
Greg Heffley's in my room.
967
00:44:44,642 --> 00:44:45,685
Woo-hoo!
968
00:44:46,311 --> 00:44:48,396
Yeah, but just for a short visit.
969
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:50,023
In fact, I really need to be--
970
00:44:50,106 --> 00:44:51,608
You wanna play make-believe?
971
00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:55,862
You can be the church organist,
and I'll be the school hygienist.
972
00:44:58,114 --> 00:45:00,950
You know, that's tempting.
But I'm not really into--
973
00:45:01,034 --> 00:45:03,411
How about a tickle fight?
974
00:45:03,912 --> 00:45:06,081
[laughs] Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
975
00:45:06,164 --> 00:45:08,208
I'm gonna tickle, tickle.
976
00:45:08,291 --> 00:45:10,293
I got you. I'm tickling you. Ha ha!
977
00:45:10,377 --> 00:45:12,003
[both laughing]
978
00:45:12,087 --> 00:45:14,047
Hey! What are you doing?
979
00:45:14,130 --> 00:45:15,465
Give me some space here.
980
00:45:15,548 --> 00:45:17,092
Can't you just stay over there?
981
00:45:17,175 --> 00:45:20,178
Well, what do you wanna do then?
982
00:45:22,722 --> 00:45:24,432
I don't know. I thought if we…
983
00:45:26,559 --> 00:45:29,020
[Fregley] Mmm. [chews] Mmm.
984
00:45:29,104 --> 00:45:32,565
Fregley! That's the only candy bar
I had that wasn't wet.
985
00:45:32,649 --> 00:45:34,859
Mom never lets me have chocolate.
986
00:45:34,943 --> 00:45:39,447
Says it makes me hyperactive and unstable.
987
00:45:39,531 --> 00:45:42,575
[panting, laughing]
988
00:45:42,659 --> 00:45:46,204
-Fregley, are you okay? Fregley!
-[laughing]
989
00:45:46,287 --> 00:45:48,331
[Greg] I've blocked out big parts
of that night.
990
00:45:48,915 --> 00:45:51,376
Hey, Greg.
991
00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:54,796
[Greg] I'm so glad I can't remember
every little thing that happened.
992
00:45:54,879 --> 00:45:57,465
[Fregley laughing]
993
00:45:58,883 --> 00:45:59,926
-[groans]
-Hey!
994
00:46:00,510 --> 00:46:02,595
[Greg groaning] But what I do remember
995
00:46:03,096 --> 00:46:05,306
is that I ended up
locked up in Fregley's bathroom
996
00:46:05,390 --> 00:46:07,684
while I waited
for his sugar high to wear off.
997
00:46:16,818 --> 00:46:18,361
[Fregley] Dear Gregory,
998
00:46:18,445 --> 00:46:21,906
I'm sorry I ate your candy
and chased you with a booger.
999
00:46:21,990 --> 00:46:25,535
Here, I put it on this piece of paper
so you can get me back.
1000
00:46:25,618 --> 00:46:27,579
Signed, Fregley.
1001
00:46:28,830 --> 00:46:30,165
What the--
1002
00:46:30,749 --> 00:46:31,750
[screams]
1003
00:46:31,833 --> 00:46:34,210
But if I could, I would forget everything.
1004
00:46:35,628 --> 00:46:38,131
[chattering]
1005
00:46:46,306 --> 00:46:49,309
[chattering continues]
1006
00:47:04,282 --> 00:47:07,160
[school bell rings]
1007
00:47:09,496 --> 00:47:11,498
-[chattering]
-[grunts]
1008
00:47:16,461 --> 00:47:18,505
Hey, Greg. Hey!
1009
00:47:18,588 --> 00:47:20,215
Oh, hey. Hey, Rowley. What's up?
1010
00:47:20,298 --> 00:47:22,217
I was wondering
if I could stop by your house today
1011
00:47:22,300 --> 00:47:24,094
and pick up my copy of Twisted Wizard.
1012
00:47:24,177 --> 00:47:25,762
Me and Chirag want to play it.
1013
00:47:27,055 --> 00:47:30,266
Yeah, well, I've had it for a while,
so it's kind of mine now.
1014
00:47:30,350 --> 00:47:32,894
I guess you and your new friend
will have to find something else to do.
1015
00:47:32,977 --> 00:47:36,189
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm not the only one
with a new friend.
1016
00:47:36,272 --> 00:47:37,399
You mean Fregley?
1017
00:47:37,482 --> 00:47:39,484
I'm permanently scarred from that night.
1018
00:47:39,567 --> 00:47:41,611
And it's all your fault for ditching me.
1019
00:47:41,695 --> 00:47:44,155
I ditched you?
More like the other way around.
1020
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,450
You haven't been the same ever since
you got that stupid cast.
1021
00:47:47,534 --> 00:47:48,702
-You've changed.
-Fight!
1022
00:47:48,785 --> 00:47:50,495
-Oh, yeah?
-[girl] They're gonna fight.
1023
00:47:50,578 --> 00:47:52,706
Well, you're the one who broke my arm.
1024
00:47:52,789 --> 00:47:54,624
[boy] You can take him. Knock him down!
1025
00:47:55,375 --> 00:47:57,627
Guys, come over. Come check out the fight.
1026
00:47:58,962 --> 00:48:01,881
-[boy 2] Why don't you make a move?
-[girl 2] Unless you're chicken.
1027
00:48:01,965 --> 00:48:04,509
[students chanting] Fight, fight, fight!
1028
00:48:04,592 --> 00:48:08,054
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
1029
00:48:08,638 --> 00:48:10,807
[boy 3] Where'd you learn to fight?
Ballerina school?
1030
00:48:10,890 --> 00:48:13,351
[girl 3] If you don't do something,
I'm gonna fall asleep.
1031
00:48:13,435 --> 00:48:15,937
Who taught you how to fight? Your granny?
1032
00:48:16,021 --> 00:48:18,857
Are you two gonna fight
or keep dancing with each other?
1033
00:48:19,649 --> 00:48:21,568
Do they even know how to do this?
1034
00:48:22,235 --> 00:48:23,361
[Rowley screams]
1035
00:48:23,445 --> 00:48:24,946
-[tires screeching]
-[Greg, Rowley grunt]
1036
00:48:25,030 --> 00:48:27,365
-Let's get out of here!
-Come on. Let's go!
1037
00:48:27,449 --> 00:48:29,868
["Breaking the Law" plays on car stereo]
1038
00:48:29,951 --> 00:48:30,952
[music stops]
1039
00:48:31,745 --> 00:48:34,581
Well, look who it is.
1040
00:48:34,664 --> 00:48:36,958
Our little friends from Halloween.
1041
00:48:38,084 --> 00:48:39,878
We told you we'd find you.
1042
00:48:39,961 --> 00:48:42,922
And now you're gonna pay
for busting my tire.
1043
00:48:44,591 --> 00:48:47,927
But, like, how are they gonna pay?
1044
00:48:48,011 --> 00:48:50,347
Yeah. Do you mean, like, with money?
1045
00:48:50,430 --> 00:48:52,390
'Cause not everybody
carries cash these days.
1046
00:48:52,474 --> 00:48:53,892
No, you morons.
1047
00:48:53,975 --> 00:48:57,228
Pay, as in, like, revenge.
1048
00:48:57,312 --> 00:48:58,480
[both gulp]
1049
00:48:58,563 --> 00:49:02,359
Okay. Now we're all on the same page.
[chuckles]
1050
00:49:03,151 --> 00:49:04,235
[both grunt]
1051
00:49:04,819 --> 00:49:08,031
[laughs] Okay. Now what?
1052
00:49:08,114 --> 00:49:09,991
I am thinking.
1053
00:49:10,075 --> 00:49:11,076
Ooh! Ooh!
1054
00:49:11,159 --> 00:49:13,370
-You still got that fire extinguisher?
-[sighs]
1055
00:49:13,453 --> 00:49:20,001
Nah. My mom made me
put it back in the house for "fires."
1056
00:49:20,085 --> 00:49:21,086
[scoffs]
1057
00:49:24,964 --> 00:49:26,841
[chuckling] What's this one looking at?
1058
00:49:26,925 --> 00:49:29,177
Uh, it looks like…
1059
00:49:29,260 --> 00:49:30,261
[gags]
1060
00:49:30,345 --> 00:49:31,638
[bullies] Cheese!
1061
00:49:31,721 --> 00:49:35,475
-[gagging]
-[laughing]
1062
00:49:35,558 --> 00:49:37,519
[Greg] Now, I really can't say
what happened next.
1063
00:49:37,602 --> 00:49:40,313
Because if Rowley ever tries to run
for president when he grows up
1064
00:49:40,397 --> 00:49:42,607
and people find out
what those teenagers made him do,
1065
00:49:42,691 --> 00:49:44,234
he won't have a chance.
1066
00:49:46,486 --> 00:49:47,821
So all I'm gonna say
1067
00:49:47,904 --> 00:49:50,031
is that the teenagers made Rowley
1068
00:49:50,115 --> 00:49:53,660
-blank, blank, blank the cheese.
-[Rowley chewing, retching]
1069
00:49:53,743 --> 00:49:56,079
[Rowley gagging]
1070
00:49:58,331 --> 00:50:00,625
Okay. You're next.
1071
00:50:00,709 --> 00:50:04,754
No. But I just had lunch.
I'm not even really that hungry.
1072
00:50:04,838 --> 00:50:06,423
You're not getting out of this.
1073
00:50:06,506 --> 00:50:09,050
But, um, I'm lactose intolerant.
1074
00:50:10,301 --> 00:50:12,137
[grunts] It'll make me gassy.
1075
00:50:13,346 --> 00:50:14,347
[fly buzzing]
1076
00:50:26,276 --> 00:50:27,610
[flies buzzing]
1077
00:50:29,988 --> 00:50:33,033
-[whistle blows]
-Huh?
1078
00:50:33,116 --> 00:50:34,659
Get out of here, you punks!
1079
00:50:39,247 --> 00:50:40,665
[tires squeal]
1080
00:50:41,750 --> 00:50:42,751
You boys okay?
1081
00:50:46,921 --> 00:50:48,882
-[boy sighs] What happened?
-They're gone.
1082
00:50:48,965 --> 00:50:51,259
-What's going on?
-What's going on over here?
1083
00:50:51,343 --> 00:50:52,844
The cheese!
1084
00:50:52,927 --> 00:50:54,804
Look! There's--
1085
00:50:54,888 --> 00:50:56,723
There's a piece missing!
1086
00:50:56,806 --> 00:50:58,475
-[boy 1] What?
-[boy 2] What?
1087
00:50:58,558 --> 00:51:01,728
[students gasping, gagging]
1088
00:51:01,811 --> 00:51:03,521
-Disgusting!
-[boy 3] Ew!
1089
00:51:04,230 --> 00:51:07,484
[Greg] Trust me, I was tempted to tell
everyone the truth about what happened,
1090
00:51:07,567 --> 00:51:10,028
but then
I heard that annoying inner voice.
1091
00:51:10,612 --> 00:51:12,697
[Susan] Do the right thing, Greg.
1092
00:51:12,781 --> 00:51:15,492
That's all you need to get by
in this world, you know?
1093
00:51:15,575 --> 00:51:17,035
One good friend.
1094
00:51:17,118 --> 00:51:18,661
[girl] Somebody has the Cheese Touch.
1095
00:51:18,745 --> 00:51:20,997
Rowley Jefferson ate the--
1096
00:51:21,081 --> 00:51:22,207
No!
1097
00:51:22,290 --> 00:51:26,211
It was me! Those teenagers
dared me to do it, and I did it!
1098
00:51:26,294 --> 00:51:28,046
So what? No big deal.
1099
00:51:28,129 --> 00:51:32,884
-Greg Heffley has the Cheese Touch!
-[all gasping]
1100
00:51:32,967 --> 00:51:35,804
-[boy] He has the Cheese Touch.
-[girl] Oh, ew!
1101
00:51:35,887 --> 00:51:37,305
[students screaming]
1102
00:51:37,389 --> 00:51:38,723
[boy 2] The Cheese Touch!
1103
00:51:38,807 --> 00:51:41,351
[students chattering, screaming]
1104
00:51:41,434 --> 00:51:44,354
[Greg] Okay, so I might have
bent the truth a little,
1105
00:51:44,437 --> 00:51:47,982
but sometimes you have to do
that sort of thing to help a friend.
1106
00:51:48,733 --> 00:51:49,734
So, uh…
1107
00:51:50,276 --> 00:51:52,529
you, uh, wanna go to my place
1108
00:51:52,612 --> 00:51:55,907
and, I don't know,
play some Twisted Wizard?
1109
00:51:55,990 --> 00:51:58,243
Yeah. That'd be good.
1110
00:52:05,083 --> 00:52:07,961
Oh, man. I totally would've had you.
1111
00:52:08,044 --> 00:52:11,297
[Greg] Are you kidding?
You were totally about to start crying.
1112
00:52:11,381 --> 00:52:13,299
[Rowley] I had something in my eye.
1113
00:52:13,967 --> 00:52:16,094
[Greg] I could've taken you
with my eyes closed.
1114
00:52:16,177 --> 00:52:18,471
[Rowley] I could've beaten you
with my little pinkie.
1115
00:52:18,555 --> 00:52:20,181
[chattering]
1116
00:52:20,265 --> 00:52:22,976
[Greg] Having the Cheese Touch
hasn't been as bad as I thought.
1117
00:52:23,059 --> 00:52:24,060
Cheese Touch!
1118
00:52:24,144 --> 00:52:26,688
[students screaming]
1119
00:52:26,771 --> 00:52:29,065
[Greg] The kids at school
give me plenty of space.
1120
00:52:30,150 --> 00:52:31,901
And it's not just in the hallways.
1121
00:52:32,902 --> 00:52:35,155
I've pretty much got the run of the place.
1122
00:52:35,655 --> 00:52:37,657
[screams]
1123
00:52:38,241 --> 00:52:39,534
And the best part is,
1124
00:52:39,617 --> 00:52:42,871
getting a seat at lunch
is not a problem anymore.
1125
00:52:44,622 --> 00:52:45,623
-Run!
-[screams]
1126
00:52:45,707 --> 00:52:48,710
[Greg] In fact,
I've got a whole table to myself.
1127
00:52:48,793 --> 00:52:52,714
[students murmuring]
1128
00:52:55,258 --> 00:52:58,386
Well, maybe not entirely to myself,
but I'm fine with it.
1129
00:52:58,470 --> 00:53:00,138
[chattering]
1130
00:53:00,221 --> 00:53:02,349
And things are good with me and Rowley.
1131
00:53:02,432 --> 00:53:04,184
In fact, they're better than good.
1132
00:53:08,355 --> 00:53:10,357
But if Rowley ever steps out of line,
1133
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,401
I'll let everyone know
who really ate the you-know-what.
1134
00:53:16,154 --> 00:53:18,239
Come on. Almost there.
1135
00:53:18,323 --> 00:53:19,741
-[laughs]
-[Rowley laughs]
1136
00:53:19,824 --> 00:53:21,326
-I got you.
-[video game beeping]
1137
00:53:21,409 --> 00:53:25,080
-Eat my dust! Get out of my way!
-Oh, you got lucky that time.
1138
00:53:25,163 --> 00:53:26,539
How are you this bad?
1139
00:53:26,623 --> 00:53:28,333
-Oh!
-Best of three!
79029
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