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1
00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:11,323
I don't think so, do you?
2
00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:14,842
It's only 29.99.
3
00:00:14,843 --> 00:00:16,362
Yeah, but where will you wear it?
4
00:00:16,363 --> 00:00:19,402
You never do anything except go
to school or study.
5
00:00:19,403 --> 00:00:22,922
Yeah. I've got library books that
have been out more than me.
6
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:23,963
Exactly.
7
00:00:23,964 --> 00:00:25,242
I mean, why waste your money
8
00:00:25,243 --> 00:00:27,443
on something
that will never get worn, darling?
9
00:00:28,923 --> 00:00:30,682
OK, let's go.
10
00:00:30,683 --> 00:00:33,562
I have to pick up
your dad's athlete's foot powder.
11
00:00:33,563 --> 00:00:36,522
I'd hate to miss that,
but can I meet you at the car?
12
00:00:36,523 --> 00:00:37,762
All right, but don't be long.
13
00:00:37,763 --> 00:00:40,003
I've only got ten minutes left
on the parking.
14
00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:55,922
Excuse me, miss.
15
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,362
I need to look in your bag.
16
00:00:57,363 --> 00:00:59,242
Why?
17
00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:01,323
Can I look in your bag, please?
18
00:01:08,363 --> 00:01:10,443
We've got a runner, boys.
19
00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:14,563
Sorry. Sorry!
20
00:01:32,763 --> 00:01:34,043
Stop!
21
00:01:39,523 --> 00:01:41,883
Sorry!
22
00:02:01,923 --> 00:02:03,243
Rani?
23
00:02:06,243 --> 00:02:07,843
What's going on?
24
00:02:51,523 --> 00:02:53,842
Do you remember what's special
about today, sweetie?
25
00:02:53,843 --> 00:02:55,642
Um, Grampa's coming to stay?
26
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,882
That's right.
27
00:02:56,883 --> 00:03:00,722
Grandpa is funny and charming and
you're gonna like him very much.
28
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,002
But I do need you to remember
one thing while he's here.
29
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:06,722
I need you to remember that
Grandpa is a lying, thieving,
30
00:03:06,723 --> 00:03:08,403
selfish old bastard.
31
00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:12,922
Good luck. Cheers, mate.
Good luck, bro.
32
00:03:12,923 --> 00:03:14,563
And what is Grandpa?
33
00:03:15,483 --> 00:03:18,202
A lying, thieving, selfish old bastard.
34
00:03:18,203 --> 00:03:20,482
Who can...?
Who can never be trusted.
35
00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:22,003
Good girl.
36
00:03:27,203 --> 00:03:28,843
Safe travels, Frank.
37
00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:45,202
Greetings and felicitations.
Margie, did you change your hair?
38
00:03:45,203 --> 00:03:46,283
Quite possibly, Frank,
39
00:03:46,284 --> 00:03:48,042
in the eight years
since I last saw you.
40
00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:49,922
This young buck must be Tom.
41
00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:51,722
Hey, dude, what's happening?
42
00:03:51,723 --> 00:03:55,682
Lord, oh, Lord,
who's this beautiful princess?
43
00:03:55,683 --> 00:03:57,082
Holly.
44
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,962
Oh, what a pleasure.
45
00:03:58,963 --> 00:04:01,002
Where are we setting up, please?
46
00:04:01,003 --> 00:04:05,322
Between the hours of 7pm and 6am,
you will remain in this residence
47
00:04:05,323 --> 00:04:07,042
and the light will remain green.
48
00:04:07,043 --> 00:04:08,922
If you travel more than two metres
from this residence,
49
00:04:08,923 --> 00:04:10,402
the light turns red.
50
00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:11,483
Is that clear?
51
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,562
Crystal. What happens
if it turns red?
52
00:04:13,563 --> 00:04:15,042
You get a little visit from the police.
53
00:04:15,043 --> 00:04:16,283
Ooh.
54
00:04:17,403 --> 00:04:18,842
I'll show myself out.
55
00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,483
Thank you for your service.
56
00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:22,962
Why were you in prison?
57
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:24,722
It was a misunderstanding.
58
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,602
Grandpa misunderstood that you can't
forge signatures on cheques.
59
00:04:27,603 --> 00:04:29,963
Oooh... Ah!
60
00:04:31,043 --> 00:04:32,243
What's a cheque?
61
00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:41,722
All right, yep, yep. I do.
62
00:04:41,723 --> 00:04:44,482
Can I speak? Thank you.
I'm asking for two poxy weeks.
63
00:04:44,483 --> 00:04:45,523
No phones allowed. What?
64
00:04:45,524 --> 00:04:47,402
Back through the machine.
Empty your pockets.
65
00:04:47,403 --> 00:04:50,082
All right, Captain, slow down.
Just a middle-aged white man.
66
00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:53,082
All I'm carrying are keys
and unwanted back fat.
67
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:54,322
No, listen, no.
68
00:04:54,323 --> 00:04:56,322
The Chinese deal is going through.
No phones allowed.
69
00:04:56,323 --> 00:04:57,962
What? No phones allowed.
70
00:04:57,963 --> 00:05:00,083
No phones allowed.
I have to call you back.
71
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,722
And the bag. And the bag!
72
00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:07,363
Listen, I'm a businessman
from Bristol, not a jihadi bride.
73
00:05:09,403 --> 00:05:10,603
Are you wearing a belt?
74
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:11,643
I am wearing a belt.
75
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,083
Yes, I like it
when my trousers stay up. That OK?
76
00:05:15,323 --> 00:05:18,003
Thank you.
Where am I going please?
77
00:05:28,843 --> 00:05:32,083
Be careful, darling.
Just do whatever they tell you.
78
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,523
This way.
79
00:06:24,803 --> 00:06:27,882
Hi there. I'm Greg.
80
00:06:27,883 --> 00:06:31,962
I'm 6'7" tall
and, no, it's not in proportion.
81
00:06:31,963 --> 00:06:34,443
If it was in proportion, I'd be 8'3".
82
00:06:42,203 --> 00:06:45,322
Greetings and felicitations.
High pockets!
83
00:06:45,323 --> 00:06:47,082
What's tickin', chicken?
84
00:06:47,083 --> 00:06:50,202
Uh, it's finger-lickin', chicken.
85
00:06:50,203 --> 00:06:54,282
Good morning, ladies. Can I just say?
You're both looking beautiful.
86
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,762
No, you can't.
87
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,242
He can't tell you
that you're beautiful?
88
00:06:57,243 --> 00:06:59,482
We didn't ask him
for a verdict on our appearance.
89
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,562
Sorry, but I say it like I find it.
90
00:07:01,563 --> 00:07:05,283
And, ladies, you're both
a right couple of swooners.
91
00:07:07,403 --> 00:07:10,763
Attention! Sit.
92
00:07:11,883 --> 00:07:13,562
Some people...
93
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:17,282
..think that Community Payback
is an easy option.
94
00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:19,362
A soft touch.
95
00:07:19,363 --> 00:07:21,562
Newsflash -
96
00:07:21,563 --> 00:07:23,082
it ain't.
97
00:07:23,083 --> 00:07:27,082
You will repay your debt to society
by working the number of hours
98
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:29,322
mandated by the court.
99
00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:32,522
My name is Diane Pemberley.
I'm your supervisor.
100
00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:37,202
And I can be a good guy... or
a mean bastard.
101
00:07:37,203 --> 00:07:38,722
Your choice.
102
00:07:38,723 --> 00:07:40,962
- Good guy, please.
- You don't choose.
103
00:07:40,963 --> 00:07:42,882
You said it was our choice.
It was a figure of speech.
104
00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,242
It wasn't entirely clear.
Are you a trouble-maker?
105
00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:47,202
No, ma'am. Definitely not.
106
00:07:47,203 --> 00:07:50,482
When I call your name, say here.
107
00:07:50,483 --> 00:07:51,563
John Halloran.
108
00:07:51,564 --> 00:07:53,202
Here. Shouldn't be.
109
00:07:53,203 --> 00:07:54,323
Frank Sheldon?
110
00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:55,722
What's the agenda, Brenda?
111
00:07:55,723 --> 00:07:56,923
Christian Taylor.
112
00:07:56,924 --> 00:08:00,242
Yo. OK, what are you people not
getting? Just say here.
113
00:08:00,243 --> 00:08:01,602
Myrna Okeke.
114
00:08:01,603 --> 00:08:03,762
Here in body, not in spirit.
115
00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,722
I don't know what that means.
Gregory Dillard?
116
00:08:06,723 --> 00:08:07,923
Yeah, that's me.
117
00:08:07,924 --> 00:08:09,762
Can I just apologise
for the inappropriate joke
118
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:12,042
earlier about things
being in proportion?
119
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:16,202
To be honest, it's not even that
long. Although it is quite flat.
120
00:08:16,203 --> 00:08:17,442
Like a kipper.
121
00:08:17,443 --> 00:08:19,122
Just say here.
122
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,442
Yeah, here. Yeah. Here.
123
00:08:20,443 --> 00:08:22,282
Rani Rekowski?
124
00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:24,203
Here. Thank you.
125
00:08:53,603 --> 00:08:59,323
You each have over 100 hours to serve.
126
00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:01,842
You have been tasked
127
00:09:01,843 --> 00:09:05,442
with restoring this
into a community centre
128
00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:08,203
for the local... community.
129
00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:12,242
You will work four hours each visit.
130
00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:16,202
Only when I am happy
with the work you have done
131
00:09:16,203 --> 00:09:18,802
will I log those four hours.
132
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,122
Take another one.
133
00:09:20,123 --> 00:09:21,562
During clean-up duty,
134
00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:26,802
if you find a deceased animal over 10k,
135
00:09:26,803 --> 00:09:29,002
do not touch it.
136
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,642
That is the council's business.
137
00:09:31,643 --> 00:09:37,402
Anything under 10k -
vermin, cats, a small dog -
138
00:09:37,403 --> 00:09:39,002
that is yours.
139
00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:40,882
Can we keep it? No, you may not.
140
00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:43,562
Now, you may be wondering about faeces.
141
00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:45,282
You read my mind.
142
00:09:45,283 --> 00:09:49,522
If you find human faeces,
do not touch it.
143
00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:53,442
You may handle other species' faeces.
144
00:09:53,443 --> 00:09:54,802
Can we keep it?
145
00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:56,442
No, you may not.
146
00:09:56,443 --> 00:10:02,123
You are here for the next four
hours, people. You may begin!
147
00:10:14,643 --> 00:10:15,963
So, why're you here?
148
00:10:17,163 --> 00:10:20,042
Uh, oh, well, I'm here because, uh,
149
00:10:20,043 --> 00:10:22,002
even though I run a successful company
150
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:24,282
making brake pads, pay my taxes,
151
00:10:24,283 --> 00:10:26,202
employ 52 people,
152
00:10:26,203 --> 00:10:29,602
we have a criminal justice system
that kowtows to the, uh,
153
00:10:29,603 --> 00:10:31,402
right-on leftie liberal brigade.
154
00:10:31,403 --> 00:10:34,002
I'm a right-on leftie liberal.
Are you sure?
155
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:36,562
Seems like you can't really call
yourself a leftie these days
156
00:10:36,563 --> 00:10:39,242
unless you're a disabled
transgender vegan
157
00:10:39,243 --> 00:10:42,162
with a nut allergy
who makes their own soap.
158
00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,562
Are you reading that
straight off the Daily Mail website?
159
00:10:44,563 --> 00:10:46,162
Well, they're not wrong
about everything.
160
00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:48,122
I'm just saying, you watch yourself.
161
00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:50,882
Nothing the lefties like more
than eating their own.
162
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,563
Unless they contain nuts.
163
00:10:58,323 --> 00:10:59,642
You're working too hard.
164
00:10:59,643 --> 00:11:02,162
You think it matters
if we clear this crap up or not?
165
00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:03,882
They just want to give us
something to do.
166
00:11:03,883 --> 00:11:07,163
I'd slow down if I were you.
You might burn yourself out.
167
00:11:08,683 --> 00:11:10,243
Also, you're making me look bad.
168
00:11:13,963 --> 00:11:16,482
What are you in for?
169
00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,162
I stole some stuff.
170
00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:20,682
Why would someone proper-smart
be stealing stuff?
171
00:11:20,683 --> 00:11:22,242
Who says I'm proper-smart?
172
00:11:22,243 --> 00:11:25,042
Well, I saw your bag
and it said Oxford University.
173
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:29,002
My mum bought that when I went
to interview at Oxford University.
174
00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:30,642
Did you get in?
175
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:33,642
Well, yeah, but I'm not proper-smart.
176
00:11:33,643 --> 00:11:37,002
I just have parents who never bought
me a toy that wasn't educational.
177
00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:41,402
Oy, Miss Rekowski.
Less flirting, more exerting.
178
00:11:41,403 --> 00:11:44,002
No, I'm not flirting. I'm not.
179
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,043
I wasn't flirting.
She weren't flirting. I was.
180
00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:49,763
Sorry.
181
00:11:55,163 --> 00:11:56,363
What's wrong?
182
00:12:12,443 --> 00:12:14,682
Hi, Gabby. Look this way.
183
00:12:14,683 --> 00:12:16,882
All right, Gabby?
184
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:18,043
Hi, Gabby.
185
00:12:18,044 --> 00:12:19,402
Look at me, Gabby.
186
00:12:19,403 --> 00:12:20,683
Nice to see you again.
187
00:12:25,243 --> 00:12:28,242
Whoa! If I was 30 years younger...
188
00:12:28,243 --> 00:12:30,562
You'd still be twice her age.
189
00:12:30,563 --> 00:12:31,883
Thank you.
190
00:12:33,123 --> 00:12:35,282
Did you know? On Twitter,
everyone's been debating
191
00:12:35,283 --> 00:12:36,443
who you were gonna wear today.
192
00:12:36,444 --> 00:12:38,642
Today is about me learning
from my mistakes,
193
00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:40,522
and people are worrying
about what I'm wearing?
194
00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:41,643
That is sick.
195
00:12:41,644 --> 00:12:42,882
Who are you wearing?
196
00:12:42,883 --> 00:12:44,842
It's a Stella McCartney.
The Vampire's Wife.
197
00:12:44,843 --> 00:12:46,482
And shoes are Isabel Marant.
198
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:47,563
Lovely.
199
00:12:47,564 --> 00:12:49,002
Am I supposed to know who she is?
200
00:12:49,003 --> 00:12:50,962
That's Lady Gabriella Penrose-Howe.
201
00:12:50,963 --> 00:12:53,122
She was on that reality show
where posh people have to give up
202
00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:54,722
their mobile phones
and their assistants.
203
00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:56,122
It was called No Service.
204
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:57,402
I don't own a TV.
205
00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:59,162
Too busy making vegan soap?
206
00:12:59,163 --> 00:13:02,002
No. Too busy reading books.
You should try it.
207
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:05,162
I read books. Yeah?
Any that aren't about the SAS?
208
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:08,442
Hi. Hi, friends. I'm Gabby. Hi.
209
00:13:08,443 --> 00:13:10,562
Hi! Hi, I'm Lady Gabby.
210
00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:13,002
My preferred pronouns
are she, her and herself.
211
00:13:13,003 --> 00:13:15,642
I'm John. Bloke.
212
00:13:15,643 --> 00:13:16,962
I'm so sorry I'm late.
213
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,523
I'm in charge here!
214
00:13:19,523 --> 00:13:22,362
Seriously?
Sorry, that came out wrong.
215
00:13:22,363 --> 00:13:23,842
Yeah, it did come out wrong. Gabby!
216
00:13:23,843 --> 00:13:25,242
They can't be here. Look this way.
217
00:13:25,243 --> 00:13:30,163
You can't be here! Go! Go!
Private property! Back! Scram!
218
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,242
What are you wearing?
219
00:13:33,243 --> 00:13:34,922
Oh, it's Stella McCartney.
220
00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:36,962
This is a Vampire's Wife
and shoes are Isabel Marant.
221
00:13:36,963 --> 00:13:37,751
Thanks for asking.
222
00:13:37,752 --> 00:13:39,762
No, I don't mean,
"Ooh, what are you wearing?"
223
00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:41,682
cos I'm interested, I mean,
"What are you wearing?!"
224
00:13:41,683 --> 00:13:42,883
That is not appropriate.
225
00:13:42,884 --> 00:13:44,523
Put this on.
226
00:13:46,763 --> 00:13:49,242
Do I have to?
Yeah, it's not a fashion show.
227
00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:50,842
You're here
because you committed a crime.
228
00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:52,562
The person who designed this
committed the crime.
229
00:13:52,563 --> 00:13:55,602
I mean, someone call
the fashion police. Am I right?
230
00:13:55,603 --> 00:13:57,922
No, you're not right, Michael McIntyre.
231
00:13:57,923 --> 00:13:59,962
I'm docking you two hours
for being late.
232
00:13:59,963 --> 00:14:01,762
Do you want another two
for being a smart-aleck?
233
00:14:01,763 --> 00:14:04,082
No. Right answer.
234
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:05,722
Toilet breaks at my discretion.
235
00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:06,962
Any questions?
236
00:14:06,963 --> 00:14:08,402
Yeah, what is this?
237
00:14:08,403 --> 00:14:09,762
Hoe.
238
00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:10,963
Excuse me?
239
00:14:14,203 --> 00:14:17,242
Yo. Respect.
240
00:14:17,243 --> 00:14:18,882
What is that?
241
00:14:18,883 --> 00:14:21,842
It's a... it's a gang sign.
You're not...?
242
00:14:21,843 --> 00:14:25,522
No, it's Mr Spock's Vulcan salute
from Star Trek.
243
00:14:25,523 --> 00:14:27,842
I don't think so.
244
00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:29,043
Yeah, it is.
245
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:34,242
Oh, yeah, that...
What am I thinking of, then?
246
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:35,642
What gang was you trying to rep?
247
00:14:35,643 --> 00:14:38,562
West Side, please.
Dre, Tupac, Snoop, that whole crew.
248
00:14:38,563 --> 00:14:40,922
Oh, here. I got you.
249
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:43,322
Here you go. Like that.
250
00:14:43,323 --> 00:14:46,842
Oh, yeah, yeah. Good.
Maximum respect.
251
00:14:46,843 --> 00:14:49,722
Rekowski! Walk with me.
252
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:52,843
Well, live long and prosper.
253
00:14:55,203 --> 00:14:56,643
What a nerd.
254
00:15:06,963 --> 00:15:09,843
So, your mum spoke to me.
255
00:15:11,683 --> 00:15:13,922
Said you have a scholarship...
256
00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,722
..to Oxford University.
257
00:15:15,723 --> 00:15:19,442
Yeah, sorry about that.
She does tell everyone.
258
00:15:19,443 --> 00:15:21,402
Must be a pretty smart doughnut.
259
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,162
Don't you mean "smart cookie"?
260
00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:24,642
They both work.
261
00:15:24,643 --> 00:15:26,842
Yeah,
I know all about higher education.
262
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,842
I'm gonna apply to become
a police officer,
263
00:15:28,843 --> 00:15:30,682
and education helps with that.
264
00:15:30,683 --> 00:15:32,962
So I'm actually studying
for a degree myself.
265
00:15:32,963 --> 00:15:34,802
Oh, really, where are you studying?
266
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,842
Have you heard of QuickieDegree.com?
267
00:15:36,843 --> 00:15:39,322
Yeah, I get the ads in my spam folder.
268
00:15:39,323 --> 00:15:40,762
Oh.
269
00:15:40,763 --> 00:15:44,242
Your mum said Oxford's threatening
to revoke your scholarship.
270
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:46,602
They haven't made a final decision.
271
00:15:46,603 --> 00:15:49,082
Apparently, they want you to get
three As in your A-Levels
272
00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:52,163
and a letter of commendation
from your supervisor.
273
00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:55,042
Guess who that is?
274
00:15:55,043 --> 00:15:56,402
Is it you?
275
00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:58,842
As I said, you're a smart doughnut.
276
00:15:58,843 --> 00:16:00,522
Cookie. They both work.
277
00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:03,202
I'll expect you to work hard.
Show remorse.
278
00:16:03,203 --> 00:16:05,963
Prove that you can learn
from your mistakes. I will.
279
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:09,282
And I need you.
280
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,842
You need me?
281
00:16:10,843 --> 00:16:12,962
To be my eyes and ears.
282
00:16:12,963 --> 00:16:15,642
Keep me posted on what's being said
and done behind my back.
283
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,522
I don't feel comfortable snitching.
284
00:16:17,523 --> 00:16:19,442
Oh, no, don't think of it as snitching.
285
00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:21,042
Think of it as collaborating.
286
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:22,282
That sounds worse.
287
00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:23,962
Only cps it has connotations
with the Nazis.
288
00:16:23,963 --> 00:16:25,282
Yeah, that might be it.
289
00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:29,883
Your future depends on whether
or not I write that commendation.
290
00:16:30,803 --> 00:16:34,643
You need my help, I need yours.
Quid pro quo.
291
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:37,243
Do we have a deal?
292
00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:43,562
As I said, I can be a good guy
or I can be a mean bastard.
293
00:16:43,563 --> 00:16:45,003
Your choice.
294
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,763
Good girl.
295
00:16:58,683 --> 00:17:02,162
This must be a mistake, sir.
Rani's not a thief.
296
00:17:02,163 --> 00:17:03,522
Tell him your news. Go on.
297
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,562
Mum, he doesn't care. Tell him.
298
00:17:05,563 --> 00:17:08,442
I got accepted into Oxford University.
299
00:17:08,443 --> 00:17:11,282
With a full scholarship.
Why do you always leave that out?
300
00:17:11,283 --> 00:17:14,723
So, you see, sir, my daughter
is a genius, not a thief.
301
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:21,883
What is going on?
302
00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:27,562
Is this the first time you've taken
something without paying, Rani?
303
00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:29,123
Yes.
304
00:17:44,723 --> 00:17:46,523
How many of these do you want to watch?
305
00:17:47,523 --> 00:17:48,963
How many are there?
306
00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:09,322
All the hard work you've done
just thrown away. For what?
307
00:18:09,323 --> 00:18:12,683
Some sequined purses and miniskirts?
308
00:18:16,403 --> 00:18:18,043
It's so humiliating.
309
00:18:19,043 --> 00:18:21,203
Jerzy, are you going to say anything?
310
00:18:22,483 --> 00:18:26,963
If you lie, cheat or steal again...
311
00:18:29,003 --> 00:18:31,123
..there is no place for you
in this family.
312
00:18:33,323 --> 00:18:34,562
Jerzy, I didn't mean...
313
00:18:34,563 --> 00:18:35,963
You wanted me to talk, I'm talking.
314
00:18:37,603 --> 00:18:41,682
If you get so much as a parking
ticket from this moment on,
315
00:18:41,683 --> 00:18:43,203
you are dead to us.
316
00:18:44,683 --> 00:18:45,962
Rekowski!
317
00:18:45,963 --> 00:18:47,243
We have to go in now.
318
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,483
Come on.
319
00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:11,482
Hey, can you take my picture
for Instagram?
320
00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:13,363
What did your last servant die of?
321
00:19:14,563 --> 00:19:16,002
I think it was just old age.
322
00:19:16,003 --> 00:19:17,922
You have actual servants?
323
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:20,722
Daddy does, yeah, but you can't
call them servants any more.
324
00:19:20,723 --> 00:19:24,242
They prefer "staff".
Will you take my picture, please?
325
00:19:24,243 --> 00:19:26,762
Why do you want a picture
of this dump? For my followers.
326
00:19:26,763 --> 00:19:29,042
You have followers?
What, like Jesus?
327
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,562
Oh, no, I'm not like Jesus.
He only had 12.
328
00:19:31,563 --> 00:19:33,362
I've got 1.2 million.
329
00:19:33,363 --> 00:19:36,002
No, look, I do understand
what you're saying.
330
00:19:36,003 --> 00:19:38,922
And we've been banking
with you since 1980.
331
00:19:38,923 --> 00:19:40,562
It's like a couple of little hiccups,
332
00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:43,162
and "Thank you for 40 years
of business, now piss off."
333
00:19:43,163 --> 00:19:44,562
Oy! No phones.
334
00:19:44,563 --> 00:19:45,842
Yes, one second, please.
335
00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:48,082
I'm just trying to keep a roof
over my kid's heads.
336
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:50,882
I'm meeting with the Chinese today
and I will make them sign.
337
00:19:50,883 --> 00:19:52,962
Give me your phone. Just go away.
How about that?
338
00:19:52,963 --> 00:19:55,762
OK? I need two weeks
for the money to come through.
339
00:19:55,763 --> 00:19:57,922
The Chinese will sign.
The Chinese will sign.
340
00:19:57,923 --> 00:20:00,002
Thank you very much indeed.
Three, two, one. There you go.
341
00:20:00,003 --> 00:20:02,282
- Thank you so much.
- No more calls. You're here to work.
342
00:20:02,283 --> 00:20:04,562
That was work! OK?
343
00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:06,443
This is detention.
344
00:20:09,403 --> 00:20:11,922
Have you ever have Chinese wine?
What?
345
00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:15,962
If you do business with the Chinese,
they'll want to drink with you.
346
00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:20,162
Makes them feel they can trust you.
Chinese call it guanxi.
347
00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:22,402
Well, thank you for that advice,
Confucius.
348
00:20:22,403 --> 00:20:24,402
Do you want to get back
to shovelling shit?
349
00:20:24,403 --> 00:20:27,482
Be warned, though, if they bring out
the ol' Chinese wine
350
00:20:27,483 --> 00:20:29,762
cos that neck oil is lethal.
351
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:33,842
When I was in Beijing, I knew
a tiny Chinaman who'd drink me
352
00:20:33,843 --> 00:20:35,082
under the table.
353
00:20:35,083 --> 00:20:37,682
We don't say "Chinaman" nowadays.
354
00:20:37,683 --> 00:20:39,842
The political correctness brigade
have ruled
355
00:20:39,843 --> 00:20:41,402
you can't say Chinaman any more.
356
00:20:41,403 --> 00:20:43,722
You can still say Englishman,
Irishman and Scotsman, though,
357
00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:45,082
so at least our jokes are safe.
358
00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:46,562
Oh, bless.
359
00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:49,642
I know you white blokes have had it
good since the Bronze Age
360
00:20:49,643 --> 00:20:51,882
and the last couple of years might
have been a bit confusing,
361
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:55,202
but if you find yourself thinking,
"Is this offensive?"
362
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:58,322
just assume that it is
and go about your business.
363
00:20:58,323 --> 00:21:01,242
Oy! Are you lot working
over there or gassing?
364
00:21:01,243 --> 00:21:06,003
We're working, boss! Harder than
a prostitute with two mattresses.
365
00:21:18,203 --> 00:21:19,642
I think it's too risky.
366
00:21:19,643 --> 00:21:20,963
Me too.
367
00:21:22,043 --> 00:21:24,562
No-one asked your opinion, bruv.
368
00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:27,482
Yeah, it's risky,
but do we got another play?
369
00:21:27,483 --> 00:21:30,042
Say the word and I'll do it right now.
370
00:21:30,043 --> 00:21:33,123
No, no, not yet.
We need more leverage first.
371
00:21:39,843 --> 00:21:41,842
I went to this epic music festival
in Goa
372
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:44,562
called the Festival
of Peace and Light. Have you been?
373
00:21:44,563 --> 00:21:46,082
No.
374
00:21:46,083 --> 00:21:47,803
Just... fantastic.
375
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,962
Mm, want some?
376
00:21:53,963 --> 00:21:55,283
No, no, no.
377
00:21:56,683 --> 00:21:59,322
Hey, bruv. You want some piff?
It's high grade.
378
00:21:59,323 --> 00:22:02,002
Thanks, but I'm good for piff.
379
00:22:02,003 --> 00:22:04,562
The Festival of Peace and Light
actually inspired me
380
00:22:04,563 --> 00:22:06,962
to organise a music festival of my own.
381
00:22:06,963 --> 00:22:08,682
Like Glastonbury?
382
00:22:08,683 --> 00:22:10,242
Less muddy, more magical.
383
00:22:10,243 --> 00:22:13,082
So, there's gonna be luxury yurts,
regular yurts, slam poetry,
384
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:16,722
yoga, Ed Sheeran. I mean, everything
you've ever wanted, right?
385
00:22:16,723 --> 00:22:19,682
You know me so well.
386
00:22:19,683 --> 00:22:21,362
You sure you don't want some piff?
387
00:22:21,363 --> 00:22:22,843
All right, why not?
388
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:27,002
Somewhere around here. Exactly. Hey!
389
00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:29,082
Put that out, will ya?
390
00:22:29,083 --> 00:22:31,922
Not getting extra hours
cos of your sort. Your sort?
391
00:22:31,923 --> 00:22:35,202
Yeah, the sort that would rather
stand there smoking a joint or
392
00:22:35,203 --> 00:22:38,922
stealing, dealing drugs or whatever
than just doing a decent days' work.
393
00:22:38,923 --> 00:22:41,802
Oh, stealing, dealing drugs.
Why you saying that? Cos he's black?
394
00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:43,003
Because he's here.
395
00:22:43,004 --> 00:22:44,362
So are you, mate.
396
00:22:44,363 --> 00:22:47,242
Yeah, because of his sort.
Come here, give me the joint.
397
00:22:47,243 --> 00:22:48,403
What? What are you doing?
398
00:22:48,404 --> 00:22:50,762
Just give me the joint.
Stop it. Stop!
399
00:22:50,763 --> 00:22:54,202
That's enough!
What are you doing?!
400
00:22:54,203 --> 00:22:57,963
All right, stop... Stop it!
401
00:22:59,563 --> 00:23:01,963
An eye for an eye makes
the whole world blind.
402
00:23:03,323 --> 00:23:06,803
Cut it out! Right now!
403
00:23:18,683 --> 00:23:20,202
Who's this belong to?
404
00:23:20,203 --> 00:23:21,762
It's his. No, it ain't.
405
00:23:21,763 --> 00:23:25,922
Somebody owns up
or everyone gets five more hours.
406
00:23:25,923 --> 00:23:29,082
You can't do that. He can do that.
Mr Wilder's a senior officer.
407
00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,163
Whose is it?
408
00:23:30,164 --> 00:23:32,562
I've just told you whose it is.
It's his.
409
00:23:32,563 --> 00:23:34,282
Ask her, she knows.
410
00:23:34,283 --> 00:23:36,683
If you know something, speak up.
411
00:23:47,163 --> 00:23:49,243
We... It's mine.
412
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:56,603
No, it isn't. It's mine.
413
00:23:57,883 --> 00:23:59,882
Five more hours for both of you.
414
00:23:59,883 --> 00:24:01,522
Why is he getting five more hours?
415
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,802
For lying.
416
00:24:02,803 --> 00:24:04,562
Do you want five more hours
for sticking your nose in?
417
00:24:04,563 --> 00:24:07,603
Yeah. You should give me five more
for this as well.
418
00:24:09,003 --> 00:24:13,243
You all seem to have forgotten that
you're all here instead of jail.
419
00:24:14,283 --> 00:24:16,242
So, try not to forget this.
420
00:24:16,243 --> 00:24:20,562
Any of you lot walk, talk or think
out of line,
421
00:24:20,563 --> 00:24:22,682
I will make sure that all of you
422
00:24:22,683 --> 00:24:25,643
spend the rest of your hours
behind bars.
423
00:24:27,203 --> 00:24:28,562
Understood?
424
00:24:28,563 --> 00:24:30,563
Yes.
425
00:24:34,043 --> 00:24:36,802
All right, pack it up people.
We'll do it all again tomorrow.
426
00:24:36,803 --> 00:24:40,043
Apart from the fighting.
And the ganja.
427
00:24:42,723 --> 00:24:44,162
Sir?
428
00:24:44,163 --> 00:24:45,962
I did actually have things
under control.
429
00:24:45,963 --> 00:24:49,042
In what universe is pot-smoking
junkies wrestling
430
00:24:49,043 --> 00:24:51,163
"having things under control"?
431
00:25:01,163 --> 00:25:02,683
Thank you.
432
00:26:12,683 --> 00:26:14,002
Good luck, Daddy.
433
00:26:14,003 --> 00:26:16,882
Mum says if the meeting goes well,
we can have pizza!
434
00:26:16,883 --> 00:26:19,402
I did say that, yes.
OK, good luck, sweetheart.
435
00:26:19,403 --> 00:26:20,723
We love you so much.
436
00:26:31,203 --> 00:26:33,842
Oh, this is sick!
437
00:26:33,843 --> 00:26:36,522
Es. Es, take that off.
Come on, let's go.
438
00:26:36,523 --> 00:26:40,642
Yo, check it out. Virtual reality.
439
00:26:40,643 --> 00:26:43,362
She's walking around a club
in Miami right now.
440
00:26:43,363 --> 00:26:44,643
Come on, Es. Let's go.
441
00:26:47,363 --> 00:26:48,922
Shit, man.
442
00:26:48,923 --> 00:26:50,402
Home, now.
443
00:26:50,403 --> 00:26:51,642
You seem tense, blud.
444
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:55,523
They do virtual porn - you should
have a tug, let off some steam.
445
00:26:59,283 --> 00:27:00,522
Come on, let's go home.
446
00:27:00,523 --> 00:27:02,762
Here, Es.
447
00:27:02,763 --> 00:27:05,042
Take this 50.
Buy yourself something nice.
448
00:27:05,043 --> 00:27:06,562
She don't want it.
449
00:27:06,563 --> 00:27:07,763
Yeah, I do. It's free money.
450
00:27:07,764 --> 00:27:09,723
No, it's not. Let's go.
451
00:27:12,403 --> 00:27:14,563
Es, I'll hold if for you, yeah?
Yeah!
452
00:27:15,563 --> 00:27:17,202
Why do I have to keep telling you
all the time?
453
00:27:17,203 --> 00:27:18,962
Stop hanging with these people.
454
00:27:18,963 --> 00:27:21,043
Come on. Why do I have to keep...
455
00:27:22,403 --> 00:27:23,882
And, uh, we're very proud
456
00:27:23,883 --> 00:27:26,562
of the fact that,
from those humble beginnings,
457
00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:31,923
we now find ourselves standing here
in this 50,000 square foot space.
458
00:27:33,523 --> 00:27:36,362
But let's, uh, let's,
let's talk more about, uh,
459
00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:39,483
the family side of the business
and, uh...
460
00:27:42,763 --> 00:27:46,443
..where we've come from
and really where we intend to go.
461
00:27:47,643 --> 00:27:50,402
You can really see
the... the year-on-year growth,
462
00:27:50,403 --> 00:27:53,362
and it's this growth
that will mark a significant return
463
00:27:53,363 --> 00:27:55,043
on your investment.
464
00:27:57,843 --> 00:28:01,242
And make a partnership
with Halloran and Son
465
00:28:01,243 --> 00:28:03,523
the only sensible choice.
466
00:28:05,603 --> 00:28:06,963
Xie xie.
467
00:28:08,683 --> 00:28:10,243
Zhao!
468
00:28:13,883 --> 00:28:16,203
I'm very sorry.
Please excuse my daughter.
469
00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:22,482
She loves all things British -
One Direction, Little Mix,
470
00:28:22,483 --> 00:28:23,762
Brooklyn Beckham...
471
00:28:23,763 --> 00:28:27,443
Well, um, on behalf of Britain,
I can only apologise.
472
00:28:29,603 --> 00:28:31,483
Yes.
473
00:28:37,923 --> 00:28:40,962
Our company has built
an impeccable reputation
474
00:28:40,963 --> 00:28:42,242
for integrity and honesty.
475
00:28:42,243 --> 00:28:44,282
So, I hope this doesn't offend you,
476
00:28:44,283 --> 00:28:47,962
but is there anything that we should
know about you or your father
477
00:28:47,963 --> 00:28:50,363
that could bring our company
into disrepute?
478
00:28:54,283 --> 00:28:55,523
There is not.
479
00:28:56,803 --> 00:28:58,083
Meiyou.
480
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:03,563
I'm sure you'd agree
that business is based on trust.
481
00:29:05,923 --> 00:29:08,083
Why should we entrust our money to you?
482
00:29:11,003 --> 00:29:12,243
Um...
483
00:29:15,123 --> 00:29:17,843
Why should, why...
Yes, um...
484
00:29:19,163 --> 00:29:20,563
Why?
485
00:29:25,163 --> 00:29:27,082
You, uh,
486
00:29:27,083 --> 00:29:29,042
you keep your family close.
487
00:29:29,043 --> 00:29:31,762
Maybe one day when you retire,
your daughter there
488
00:29:31,763 --> 00:29:33,522
will take the company reins,
489
00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:35,803
if she can stay off
her phone long enough.
490
00:29:41,523 --> 00:29:46,002
My, uh, my father built
this company from nothing.
491
00:29:46,003 --> 00:29:47,802
Worked every hour God gave.
492
00:29:47,803 --> 00:29:50,963
Never, never bellyached,
never asked for a... a hand-out...
493
00:29:52,163 --> 00:29:56,322
On the day he retired,
he had four bidders begging to buy.
494
00:29:56,323 --> 00:29:57,763
But he didn't sell.
495
00:29:59,243 --> 00:30:01,842
He handed the business to me.
496
00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:05,202
And, uh, I asked him,
I said, uh, you know, why?
497
00:30:05,203 --> 00:30:06,522
Why me?
498
00:30:06,523 --> 00:30:09,002
And, um, he told me, he said,
499
00:30:09,003 --> 00:30:12,122
"Trust, son,
is the key to any relationship,"
500
00:30:12,123 --> 00:30:14,002
"business or otherwise."
501
00:30:14,003 --> 00:30:18,362
"And who can you trust
if you can't trust family?"
502
00:30:18,363 --> 00:30:21,722
This is a family business,
Chairman Yang.
503
00:30:21,723 --> 00:30:25,682
You place your trust in me,
and you become part of that family.
504
00:30:25,683 --> 00:30:29,243
And, sir, I never let my family down.
505
00:30:40,763 --> 00:30:42,162
Mr Halloran,
506
00:30:42,163 --> 00:30:44,242
if you prepare the contracts
for review,
507
00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:45,763
we'd like to sign tomorrow.
508
00:30:47,683 --> 00:30:50,843
That's, uh, that's great.
That's great.
509
00:30:52,643 --> 00:30:55,682
Right, well,
I don't know about you, but, uh,
510
00:30:55,683 --> 00:30:59,762
I always find closing deals
very, very thirsty work.
511
00:30:59,763 --> 00:31:02,123
So, uh, please,
grab... grab a glass and, uh...
512
00:31:05,803 --> 00:31:07,003
Yeah.
513
00:31:14,923 --> 00:31:16,242
I met a girl today.
514
00:31:16,243 --> 00:31:17,722
Player.
515
00:31:17,723 --> 00:31:19,483
I want you to talk to her about school.
516
00:31:25,603 --> 00:31:27,123
I know you're mad at me.
517
00:31:28,323 --> 00:31:30,923
But why have you got to hang out
with them when I told you not to?
518
00:31:33,563 --> 00:31:37,122
This is our family. Yeah?
You and me.
519
00:31:37,123 --> 00:31:38,722
Not them.
520
00:31:38,723 --> 00:31:41,082
You're not my family. You're a joke.
521
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:43,802
I'm your brother.
Show some respect.
522
00:31:43,803 --> 00:31:45,042
Respect what?
523
00:31:45,043 --> 00:31:47,242
They're down there getting
in a Range Rover.
524
00:31:47,243 --> 00:31:50,203
You're up here, unpeggin'
your little sister's underwear.
525
00:31:55,363 --> 00:31:57,243
What were the other people like?
526
00:31:58,363 --> 00:31:59,603
Fine.
527
00:32:01,283 --> 00:32:03,483
Did you do everything you were told?
528
00:32:05,163 --> 00:32:06,363
Yeah.
529
00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:12,442
Is this our fault?
530
00:32:12,443 --> 00:32:14,042
Did we do something?
531
00:32:14,043 --> 00:32:15,243
No.
532
00:32:19,003 --> 00:32:22,882
We were too soft on you.
We should've set more boundaries.
533
00:32:22,883 --> 00:32:26,082
We should never have taken
the parental control off Netflix.
534
00:32:26,083 --> 00:32:27,602
Mum...
535
00:32:27,603 --> 00:32:30,723
Mum, it's not your fault.
536
00:32:33,483 --> 00:32:36,402
You promise me,
whatever this was about,
537
00:32:36,403 --> 00:32:38,203
this is the end of it.
538
00:32:40,483 --> 00:32:42,003
Promise.
539
00:32:52,243 --> 00:32:53,482
Margie.
540
00:32:53,483 --> 00:32:55,443
Put it down. I'd like to help.
541
00:32:56,483 --> 00:32:58,202
I don't need your help.
Put that down.
542
00:32:58,203 --> 00:33:00,163
Put it down.
543
00:33:03,003 --> 00:33:06,802
While I was inside, I had time
to think about all the people
544
00:33:06,803 --> 00:33:08,722
I effed around in my day.
545
00:33:08,723 --> 00:33:10,763
You're top of the list, Margie.
546
00:33:12,283 --> 00:33:13,522
I want to make that right.
547
00:33:13,523 --> 00:33:15,162
Oh, yeah?
548
00:33:15,163 --> 00:33:16,203
On my life.
549
00:33:16,204 --> 00:33:18,522
Don't promise on your life.
Don't you dare.
550
00:33:18,523 --> 00:33:20,922
You have fooled me 10,000 times,
not again.
551
00:33:20,923 --> 00:33:23,322
I said that you could stay
until the tag comes off.
552
00:33:23,323 --> 00:33:26,282
After that I don't want you in my
or my kids' lives a second longer.
553
00:33:26,283 --> 00:33:27,923
Is that clear?
554
00:33:29,923 --> 00:33:31,123
Crystal.
555
00:33:50,083 --> 00:33:54,002
Keep it down.
Fucking human pipe cleaner.
556
00:33:54,003 --> 00:33:55,922
Sorry.
557
00:33:55,923 --> 00:33:57,362
You OK?
558
00:33:57,363 --> 00:33:59,122
Chinese wine.
559
00:33:59,123 --> 00:34:02,442
Hoo! I told you. Lethal. Yeah.
560
00:34:02,443 --> 00:34:06,322
Oh, Diane, I raised my voice
to you the other day.
561
00:34:06,323 --> 00:34:09,722
That was completely unacceptable.
And I-I would like to apologise.
562
00:34:09,723 --> 00:34:10,843
Accepted.
563
00:34:10,844 --> 00:34:13,682
Yeah, in other news, I've got to be
somewhere by four today
564
00:34:13,683 --> 00:34:15,442
to close a very important
business deal.
565
00:34:15,443 --> 00:34:18,482
I was just wondering if you could
let me go just a little bit early.
566
00:34:18,483 --> 00:34:20,202
We finish at 3.30.
567
00:34:20,203 --> 00:34:22,642
I'm hoping you could make
an exception for me today, OK?
568
00:34:22,643 --> 00:34:24,802
Because I... I cannot be late
for this.
569
00:34:24,803 --> 00:34:28,323
Being late is a serious offence
in Chinese business.
570
00:34:29,483 --> 00:34:30,882
So...
571
00:34:30,883 --> 00:34:33,042
Everyone finishes at 3.30!
572
00:34:33,043 --> 00:34:35,282
Ah, you... For Christ's sake, woman!
573
00:34:35,283 --> 00:34:37,522
I'm just trying to keep
my business from going under,
574
00:34:37,523 --> 00:34:40,003
but no, let's... let's sweep
some old CDs.
575
00:34:43,843 --> 00:34:48,403
So... what's your first impressions
of our little gang?
576
00:34:51,643 --> 00:34:53,242
Everyone's a type.
577
00:34:53,243 --> 00:34:54,762
A type?
578
00:34:54,763 --> 00:34:58,802
Um, you've got
your right-wing blowhard,
579
00:34:58,803 --> 00:35:00,682
left-wing militant,
580
00:35:00,683 --> 00:35:02,722
celebutante,
581
00:35:02,723 --> 00:35:05,082
shifty old-timer,
582
00:35:05,083 --> 00:35:06,883
and whatever the hell he is.
583
00:35:07,923 --> 00:35:10,922
OK. What type am I?
584
00:35:10,923 --> 00:35:13,162
The bad boy.
585
00:35:13,163 --> 00:35:14,482
Why?
586
00:35:14,483 --> 00:35:16,842
What, is it
cos I've got all these tats?
587
00:35:16,843 --> 00:35:18,882
Yeah, tattoos aren't
that rebellious any more.
588
00:35:18,883 --> 00:35:20,402
You know who has tattoos?
589
00:35:20,403 --> 00:35:21,682
Dame Judi Dench.
590
00:35:21,683 --> 00:35:24,523
Well, then, Dame Judi Dench
is a straight up OG like me.
591
00:35:26,723 --> 00:35:27,923
What type are you?
592
00:35:29,403 --> 00:35:30,962
Studious Asian good girl.
593
00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:34,682
Mm. So, why does
the studious Asian good girl
594
00:35:34,683 --> 00:35:36,882
shoplift?
595
00:35:36,883 --> 00:35:39,282
Probably because my dad never gave me
596
00:35:39,283 --> 00:35:42,242
the freedom to go to parties or hang
out in a bus shelter with friends.
597
00:35:42,243 --> 00:35:44,802
Yeah, I've done that.
It's not as incredible as it sounds.
598
00:35:44,803 --> 00:35:48,922
To be fair to my dad, he grew
up in Poland under communism.
599
00:35:48,923 --> 00:35:52,323
So, his idea of freedom
is drinking a can of Pepsi.
600
00:35:55,723 --> 00:35:57,122
Would you do me a favour?
601
00:35:57,123 --> 00:35:58,642
What kind of favour?
602
00:35:58,643 --> 00:36:00,562
My sister's clever, like you.
603
00:36:00,563 --> 00:36:04,403
Well, she's got her GCSEs soon,
and I just can't make her study.
604
00:36:05,963 --> 00:36:08,283
Would you chat to her?
605
00:36:09,443 --> 00:36:11,483
I mean, I'm not sure what I'd say.
606
00:36:12,963 --> 00:36:14,482
But if you think it would help...
607
00:36:14,483 --> 00:36:16,002
Yeah. OK.
608
00:36:16,003 --> 00:36:18,363
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
609
00:36:37,323 --> 00:36:38,523
You OK?
610
00:36:40,283 --> 00:36:42,723
Yeah, um, uh, just gimme a second.
611
00:36:48,203 --> 00:36:51,242
I just found a deceased animal,
and I can't tell if it's over 10k.
612
00:36:51,243 --> 00:36:53,082
What we talking?
We're talking a dead badger.
613
00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:55,042
You'd better show me.
Roger that.
614
00:36:55,043 --> 00:36:56,482
Or should it be "bodger that"?
615
00:36:56,483 --> 00:36:58,043
What? Bodger and badger?
616
00:37:15,803 --> 00:37:17,682
What's my sister doing here?
617
00:37:17,683 --> 00:37:20,402
Some men from London are running
their lines into ends.
618
00:37:20,403 --> 00:37:22,522
She asked to help roll up on them.
619
00:37:22,523 --> 00:37:24,042
Well, that ain't happening.
620
00:37:24,043 --> 00:37:26,402
She says she wants to put in work,
innit?
621
00:37:26,403 --> 00:37:31,002
Think about it, yeah?
If I say no, that ain't woke.
622
00:37:31,003 --> 00:37:33,122
In this post-MeToo era,
623
00:37:33,123 --> 00:37:36,162
that kind of blatant sexism
can get you cancelled.
624
00:37:36,163 --> 00:37:39,162
My sister ain't puttin'
in work for you.
625
00:37:39,163 --> 00:37:40,843
Then who is?
626
00:37:42,363 --> 00:37:45,162
Oh, shit, man. I've paid my debts.
627
00:37:45,163 --> 00:37:47,282
I ain't asking permission,
I'm telling you -
628
00:37:47,283 --> 00:37:48,802
someone's doin' dirt tonight,
629
00:37:48,803 --> 00:37:50,923
And if it ain't you,
it's your little sister.
630
00:37:55,163 --> 00:37:56,962
What do you want me to do?
631
00:37:56,963 --> 00:37:59,082
They're sat in a trap house
in Lawrence Hill.
632
00:37:59,083 --> 00:38:02,122
They've got a line with fiends
callin' from Bristol to Penzance.
633
00:38:02,123 --> 00:38:03,522
I need that phone.
634
00:38:03,523 --> 00:38:05,882
Oh, cos they're just gonna hand
over the line because I ask nicely?
635
00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:08,883
Nah. That's why you need this.
636
00:38:10,403 --> 00:38:11,762
Put that away.
637
00:38:11,763 --> 00:38:14,643
Shut up, man. Don't act like you
ain't never seen a strap before.
638
00:38:16,203 --> 00:38:18,602
Where's the spot?
639
00:38:18,603 --> 00:38:20,523
32 Rossmore Avenue.
640
00:38:21,563 --> 00:38:25,682
Look, if I do this for you,
Esme don't hang with you no more.
641
00:38:25,683 --> 00:38:28,083
And I ain't asking you,
I'm telling you.
642
00:38:54,243 --> 00:38:55,883
Yeah, we'll call in the council.
643
00:39:09,723 --> 00:39:14,002
Hi, Clive, it's Diane. Yeah, another
code blue. Fire up the incinerator.
644
00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:15,723
We're talking dead badger.
645
00:39:21,043 --> 00:39:24,523
All right, roger that.
Or should that be "bodger that"?
646
00:39:25,723 --> 00:39:27,523
I know, yeah.
I just thought of it now.
647
00:39:28,563 --> 00:39:30,282
All right, thanks, Clive, bye-bye.
648
00:39:30,283 --> 00:39:31,522
You stole my joke.
649
00:39:31,523 --> 00:39:33,923
Do you want five more hours?! No.
650
00:39:35,803 --> 00:39:38,563
Home time. Tools away.
651
00:39:42,403 --> 00:39:44,003
Great. Yeah.
652
00:39:47,123 --> 00:39:49,962
All right, come on,
let's pick up the pace, people.
653
00:39:49,963 --> 00:39:52,562
Oy! You don't give the orders.
654
00:39:52,563 --> 00:39:55,003
OK, come on,
let's pick up the pace, people!
655
00:39:57,483 --> 00:39:59,083
Everyone, freeze!
656
00:40:01,643 --> 00:40:03,643
Someone better explain...
657
00:40:04,683 --> 00:40:06,283
..about the gun.
658
00:40:10,243 --> 00:40:12,642
A heat gun is missing.
659
00:40:12,643 --> 00:40:14,562
Empty your pockets.
660
00:40:14,563 --> 00:40:15,962
Open your bags.
661
00:40:15,963 --> 00:40:17,243
I'm conducting a search.
662
00:40:18,203 --> 00:40:19,483
Open your bag.
663
00:40:22,203 --> 00:40:25,842
Files, headphones...
664
00:40:25,843 --> 00:40:29,162
She Gone - Coping With Divorce.
665
00:40:29,163 --> 00:40:32,122
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I just broke up with someone, too.
666
00:40:32,123 --> 00:40:33,163
How long has it been?
667
00:40:33,164 --> 00:40:34,882
Since Pancake Day last year.
668
00:40:34,883 --> 00:40:38,443
She sent me out to get a Jif lemon,
and when I came back, she was gone.
669
00:40:39,603 --> 00:40:42,602
People, let's not get side-tracked
by Greg's failed marriage.
670
00:40:42,603 --> 00:40:45,362
A heat gun is missing.
This is serious.
671
00:40:45,363 --> 00:40:47,723
I'll buy you a new one. OK?
Can we please just go?
672
00:41:05,603 --> 00:41:07,682
Is that yours too?
673
00:41:07,683 --> 00:41:09,322
- That one's his.
- No, it ain't.
674
00:41:09,323 --> 00:41:10,802
What, you're a liar and a thief?
675
00:41:10,803 --> 00:41:13,762
Oh, his sort, must be the thief.
676
00:41:13,763 --> 00:41:16,482
You do know not every coloured
person is a living saint?
677
00:41:16,483 --> 00:41:19,762
We don't say coloured person.
We say person of colour.
678
00:41:19,763 --> 00:41:22,122
I'll give you £1,000
if you can tell me the difference.
679
00:41:22,123 --> 00:41:24,602
Why don't you just ask people
how they'd like to be described?
680
00:41:24,603 --> 00:41:28,322
For instance, would you like to be
known as caveman or dinosaur?
681
00:41:28,323 --> 00:41:29,842
Enough!
682
00:41:29,843 --> 00:41:31,323
Pass it here.
683
00:41:40,963 --> 00:41:42,282
Is this your bag?
684
00:41:42,283 --> 00:41:43,882
Never seen it before.
685
00:41:43,883 --> 00:41:45,842
That's bullocks!
I've seen him with it.
686
00:41:45,843 --> 00:41:47,322
So has she.
687
00:41:47,323 --> 00:41:48,723
Is that true?
688
00:41:50,323 --> 00:41:51,483
Three words.
689
00:41:51,484 --> 00:41:55,003
Quid pro quo. Is this his bag?
690
00:42:00,403 --> 00:42:01,643
Yeah.
691
00:42:03,083 --> 00:42:04,323
Thank you.
692
00:42:33,043 --> 00:42:34,682
Everyone on the bus.
693
00:42:34,683 --> 00:42:36,682
Hallelujah.
Thank you so much, Diane,
694
00:42:36,683 --> 00:42:38,563
for those five minutes
we're never getting back.
695
00:42:44,443 --> 00:42:46,722
Snitches get stitches.
696
00:42:46,723 --> 00:42:48,042
All right, leave her alone.
697
00:42:48,043 --> 00:42:49,962
There's a code. What's the code?
698
00:42:49,963 --> 00:42:51,322
No snitching!
699
00:42:51,323 --> 00:42:55,202
Ha! Yeah,
the noble criminal code, huh?
700
00:42:55,203 --> 00:42:59,042
We can rob, steal and murder,
but, uh, telling on one another,
701
00:42:59,043 --> 00:43:00,522
that's... that's where
we draw the line.
702
00:43:00,523 --> 00:43:02,922
We're supposed to stick together.
703
00:43:02,923 --> 00:43:04,403
There's no "we" here.
704
00:43:23,163 --> 00:43:24,843
Uh-bup-bup...
705
00:43:36,923 --> 00:43:39,802
Empty out your pockets.
Bags go through the machine.
706
00:43:39,803 --> 00:43:41,363
You've got to be kidding me!
707
00:43:43,403 --> 00:43:45,002
I need to speak to you.
708
00:43:45,003 --> 00:43:46,362
I've got somewhere to be.
709
00:43:46,363 --> 00:43:47,923
But I really need to speak to you.
710
00:43:52,963 --> 00:43:54,163
Rani!
711
00:43:57,363 --> 00:43:59,442
Oh, come on!
712
00:43:59,443 --> 00:44:00,843
Belt off, please.
713
00:44:04,083 --> 00:44:05,603
Rekowski.
714
00:44:06,803 --> 00:44:08,482
Go home. This is not a Youth Club.
715
00:44:08,483 --> 00:44:10,482
Uh, we were... we were
just talking about...
716
00:44:10,483 --> 00:44:13,763
I'm sure you'll see her again soon.
Go on, Valentino. Off you go.
717
00:44:16,923 --> 00:44:18,562
This'll surprise you,
718
00:44:18,563 --> 00:44:20,203
but when I was your age...
719
00:44:21,803 --> 00:44:23,722
..I was unpopular too.
720
00:44:23,723 --> 00:44:25,922
Yeah, that is a shock.
721
00:44:25,923 --> 00:44:27,322
I heard the talk.
722
00:44:27,323 --> 00:44:30,762
You'll always get grief for doing
the right thing. So, ignore 'em.
723
00:44:30,763 --> 00:44:32,602
They're not your friends.
724
00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:35,122
The only friend you have
around here is me.
725
00:44:35,123 --> 00:44:39,762
And you did good today, OK?
It's going in your report.
726
00:44:39,763 --> 00:44:41,443
Feel better?
727
00:44:44,203 --> 00:44:45,522
What's going on here?
728
00:44:45,523 --> 00:44:49,162
Oh, a heat gun has gone missing,
sir. I'm investigating.
729
00:44:49,163 --> 00:44:50,642
Investigating?
730
00:44:50,643 --> 00:44:53,163
Well, good luck with that, Columbo.
731
00:44:57,683 --> 00:44:59,683
Rekowski, through the machine.
732
00:45:02,003 --> 00:45:03,443
Excuse me.
733
00:45:05,243 --> 00:45:07,243
Less gawking, more walking.
734
00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:12,283
Anything?
735
00:45:13,723 --> 00:45:16,002
What are you doing? You don't
have to take your shoes off.
736
00:45:16,003 --> 00:45:17,482
It's not the bloody airport.
737
00:45:17,483 --> 00:45:19,562
Looks like an airport, doesn't it?
738
00:45:19,563 --> 00:45:22,042
With the metal detector and the...
739
00:45:22,043 --> 00:45:23,243
Well, it isn't.
740
00:45:29,563 --> 00:45:31,923
All right, let's go.
It looks like an airport.
741
00:45:33,923 --> 00:45:35,123
Whoa, whoa!
742
00:45:35,124 --> 00:45:37,402
Step back! Step back!
Come back through, please, sir.
743
00:45:37,403 --> 00:45:39,363
I need to conduct a thorough search.
744
00:45:47,403 --> 00:45:48,803
Is that allowed?
745
00:45:50,203 --> 00:45:51,842
Well, that's not mine.
746
00:45:51,843 --> 00:45:54,442
No, it isn't.
Property of Probation Service.
747
00:45:54,443 --> 00:45:55,722
Nothing gets past me.
748
00:45:55,723 --> 00:45:57,562
I've caught the thief, sir.
I'm not a thief.
749
00:45:57,563 --> 00:46:00,042
If you'll pass me Her Majesty's
bracelets, I'll cuff him.
750
00:46:00,043 --> 00:46:03,162
Cuff me? Right, where's the heat
gun? Is it still on your person?
751
00:46:03,163 --> 00:46:05,482
I'm gonna need
some rubber gloves as well!
752
00:46:05,483 --> 00:46:06,802
No, you're not. Walk very slowly.
753
00:46:06,803 --> 00:46:09,362
You're not going to need any gloves.
We're not in Guantanamo Bay.
754
00:46:09,363 --> 00:46:11,523
Anything could slip out en route.
Come on.
755
00:46:15,403 --> 00:46:16,843
Um...
756
00:46:18,323 --> 00:46:21,162
That, uh, boy asked if I'd read
his sister's course work.
757
00:46:21,163 --> 00:46:22,363
Can I tell him that's OK?
758
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,523
OK, quickly.
759
00:46:29,403 --> 00:46:33,243
You tell your sister that
I am more than happy to help.
760
00:46:37,003 --> 00:46:38,843
Whatever they're making you do...
761
00:46:40,363 --> 00:46:42,722
..please don't.
762
00:46:42,723 --> 00:46:44,083
Rani!
763
00:46:59,003 --> 00:47:00,843
Come on!
764
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:03,723
Come on!
765
00:47:08,483 --> 00:47:09,722
Hello, Dad.
766
00:47:09,723 --> 00:47:10,763
Did they sign?
767
00:47:10,764 --> 00:47:12,522
I'm just on my way. You're late?!
768
00:47:12,523 --> 00:47:14,122
Jesus, I knew
I should've done this myself.
769
00:47:14,123 --> 00:47:16,242
Do I have to hold your hand
to sign your own bloody name?!
770
00:47:16,243 --> 00:47:18,482
No, Dad, everything's fine.
771
00:47:18,483 --> 00:47:20,202
To be late is offensive
in Chinese business.
772
00:47:20,203 --> 00:47:21,802
Yeah, I'm... I'm aware of that.
773
00:47:21,803 --> 00:47:23,722
By God, if you screw this up, I...
774
00:47:23,723 --> 00:47:25,202
Just call me when it's done!
775
00:47:25,203 --> 00:47:26,483
I'm...
776
00:47:35,723 --> 00:47:37,882
Define metallic bonding.
777
00:47:37,883 --> 00:47:41,042
The electrostatic attraction
between delocalised electrons
778
00:47:41,043 --> 00:47:42,962
and positive metal ions.
779
00:47:42,963 --> 00:47:47,643
Hmm, correct.
What is the octet rule?
780
00:47:49,523 --> 00:47:52,762
Elements combine in a covalent compound
781
00:47:52,763 --> 00:47:56,042
with eight electrons
in their outer shell.
782
00:47:56,043 --> 00:47:57,282
Are they bothering you?
783
00:47:57,283 --> 00:47:58,483
No.
784
00:47:59,443 --> 00:48:03,362
Hey. Hey!
Can you keep the noise down, please?
785
00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:04,842
My daughter is studying up here.
786
00:48:04,843 --> 00:48:06,523
Fuck off! Get out of here, man.
787
00:48:09,363 --> 00:48:11,202
They have all the privileges
in the world,
788
00:48:11,203 --> 00:48:12,842
and they choose to waste their lives.
789
00:48:12,843 --> 00:48:16,642
Hmm! Good.
More opportunities for you.
790
00:48:16,643 --> 00:48:19,802
Which of these is the best conductor
of electricity?
791
00:48:19,803 --> 00:48:21,442
Sodium, magnesium or alu....?
792
00:48:21,443 --> 00:48:23,082
Aluminium.
793
00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:24,763
Correct. Very good.
794
00:48:45,443 --> 00:48:47,402
I'm so sorry I'm late.
795
00:48:47,403 --> 00:48:52,802
Oh, I just, uh, had a meeting
with some, uh, new suppliers.
796
00:48:52,803 --> 00:48:55,562
Anyway, the exciting part, huh?
797
00:48:55,563 --> 00:48:57,642
I think we've got
all the paperwork sorted,
798
00:48:57,643 --> 00:49:02,283
so now all we need is your signatures.
799
00:49:06,763 --> 00:49:09,403
Is... everything OK?
800
00:49:16,683 --> 00:49:20,603
An eye for an eye makes
the whole world blind.
801
00:49:22,363 --> 00:49:23,843
Stop!
802
00:50:02,443 --> 00:50:04,042
I can help with that.
803
00:50:04,043 --> 00:50:07,522
Well, I managed without your help
during puberty,
804
00:50:07,523 --> 00:50:09,962
two divorces and my mother's dementia,
805
00:50:09,963 --> 00:50:11,962
so I'm pretty sure
I can scrape the paint
806
00:50:11,963 --> 00:50:13,683
off an old door without you.
807
00:50:16,723 --> 00:50:18,202
What's that?
808
00:50:18,203 --> 00:50:21,402
Heat gun. For stripping paint.
809
00:50:21,403 --> 00:50:23,722
Did you steal it? No.
810
00:50:23,723 --> 00:50:25,082
Frank?
811
00:50:25,083 --> 00:50:26,443
I borrowed it.
812
00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:33,763
Plug it in.
813
00:51:22,163 --> 00:51:23,803
Bro.
814
00:51:25,443 --> 00:51:29,522
Come on, bro. It's me, man.
815
00:51:29,523 --> 00:51:31,162
Who's there?
816
00:51:31,163 --> 00:51:32,722
Hey, bro, I just need two Bs, bro.
817
00:51:32,723 --> 00:51:35,162
Eh, no man, you've got the wrong
place. No, bro. Come on, man.
818
00:51:35,163 --> 00:51:36,842
Please, I've got the money on me now.
819
00:51:36,843 --> 00:51:38,522
- I'll just get it out.
- Please, man...
820
00:51:38,523 --> 00:51:39,843
Hey, man, I said fuck off.
821
00:51:44,283 --> 00:51:45,803
What are you thinking, man?
822
00:51:46,963 --> 00:51:48,202
Sit down.
823
00:51:48,203 --> 00:51:51,243
You, move. Now!
824
00:51:57,843 --> 00:52:00,082
Where's the line? What line?
825
00:52:00,083 --> 00:52:01,842
Don't mess with me, man.
Where's the phone?
826
00:52:01,843 --> 00:52:04,322
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- I'm not gonna ask you again.
827
00:52:04,323 --> 00:52:05,723
Where the fuck is the phone?!
828
00:52:08,763 --> 00:52:10,123
Under the rug, man.
829
00:52:33,363 --> 00:52:34,563
I dare you.
830
00:52:40,163 --> 00:52:41,802
You don't want to do this, man.
831
00:52:41,803 --> 00:52:45,203
I'm telling you, bro.
You're making a mistake, man.
832
00:53:04,003 --> 00:53:05,923
Do you know who you're robbing, blud?
833
00:53:12,283 --> 00:53:14,442
You don't want to walk out
that door with that bag, bro.
834
00:53:14,443 --> 00:53:16,483
I'm telling you that right now.
835
00:53:43,843 --> 00:53:45,043
Hey!
836
00:53:46,443 --> 00:53:48,483
Go, go, go! Go! Go!
837
00:54:13,243 --> 00:54:15,603
Hey! This way.
838
00:55:03,083 --> 00:55:04,643
Sweetheart.
839
00:55:06,163 --> 00:55:07,763
Did they sign?
840
00:55:08,803 --> 00:55:10,322
Of course.
841
00:55:10,323 --> 00:55:12,762
We're out of the woods?
842
00:55:12,763 --> 00:55:14,122
Absolutely.
843
00:55:14,123 --> 00:55:15,562
Oh, thank God!
844
00:55:15,563 --> 00:55:16,763
Thank God.
845
00:55:21,443 --> 00:55:23,443
Did you tell your dad the good news?
846
00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:26,202
Yeah. I told him.
847
00:55:26,203 --> 00:55:29,962
Well done, sweetheart.
I am so proud of you.
848
00:55:29,963 --> 00:55:31,483
Thank you.
849
00:57:02,803 --> 00:57:04,283
Evening, Sarge.
850
00:57:08,003 --> 00:57:10,123
Lucy. Hmm?
851
00:57:17,803 --> 00:57:19,322
This just came in? Hmm.
852
00:57:19,323 --> 00:57:22,323
CCTV from Lawrence Hill.
62089
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