Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:16,400
I didn't think she'd really do it.
2
00:00:16,439 --> 00:00:18,839
How do you get to Paris?
Train, ferry, train.
3
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:21,280
Or hitchhike, swim, hopping.
4
00:00:21,319 --> 00:00:24,599
If we find her in time,
what do we do?
5
00:00:24,639 --> 00:00:26,040
That is a good question.
6
00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,279
Whoa.
7
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,079
Shout out if we've lost anyone!
8
00:00:30,119 --> 00:00:32,279
No, they're all in one piece, love.
Right.
9
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,920
Nobody get on that train!
10
00:00:43,519 --> 00:00:47,320
Darling, don't just slip away!
Let us give you a send-off.
11
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,680
No, come on!
12
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:51,479
Come on, Mariette, a tiny little do,
couple of days' time,
13
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,320
then you go with our blessing.
14
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,280
I've got her passport!
Argh!
15
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:00,680
Hey, kids, look, organise a gymkhana
and a donkey derby
16
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:03,159
in our meadow on Saturday,
then we'll have a cocktail party.
17
00:01:03,199 --> 00:01:06,519
Ah! We'll charm her into staying.
How can she resist?
18
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,040
I feel like I've been reprieved from
the guillotine for a day or two.
19
00:01:13,119 --> 00:01:14,719
How long were you...
20
00:01:14,759 --> 00:01:17,199
are you going for?
21
00:01:18,359 --> 00:01:20,199
I don't know.
22
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,559
A year or two.
23
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,119
Long enough to never regret
coming back.
24
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,960
I'm just worried
that you never will.
25
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:36,474
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
26
00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,999
COCKEREL CROWS
27
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,800
POP: Shut up,
you dim lump of poultry,
28
00:01:50,839 --> 00:01:52,960
there's a princess trying to sleep!
29
00:01:53,919 --> 00:01:59,279
Oh, you need hands
To hold a brand new baby...
30
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,559
Mmm!
31
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,400
You need hands
32
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,880
To guide them on the way...
33
00:02:04,919 --> 00:02:07,080
GIRLS GIGGLE
All together, Larkinettes.
34
00:02:07,119 --> 00:02:08,680
Oh, you need...
No, don't.
35
00:02:08,719 --> 00:02:10,359
What?
Enough.
36
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,999
You entertain the masses!
Honestly, I'm...
37
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,800
Oh, sit down.
Here she is.
38
00:02:14,839 --> 00:02:16,719
CHILDREN: Morning! Hello!
39
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,920
You look wonderful, princess.
She really does.
40
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,960
We made you
your favourite breakfast.
41
00:02:20,999 --> 00:02:23,520
Marge, you reckon there's any food
left for Edith Pilchester?
42
00:02:23,559 --> 00:02:25,719
I can take it round.
She's becoming a recluse.
43
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,240
That's not healthy, is it?
I'll leave you to her.
44
00:02:28,279 --> 00:02:30,599
I've got errands.
We need string.
45
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,800
I'm not going that way.
String's everywhere.
46
00:02:32,839 --> 00:02:34,719
There is no string where I'm going.
47
00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:40,080
I just don't understand.
48
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,879
How can you leave when you've got
Charley begging you to stay?
49
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,439
I do love him,
but something's missing.
50
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:46,480
Oomph.
51
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,960
He's got oomph. The nice kind.
MARIETTE CHUCKLES
52
00:02:49,999 --> 00:02:53,039
And anyway, Tom had it,
and look how wrong that went.
53
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,480
Well, Tom will shoot off,
54
00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,680
now he can't build his empire
in the village.
55
00:02:56,719 --> 00:02:57,999
You know your problem?
56
00:02:58,039 --> 00:03:01,559
Gobby sister? Deranged family?
No.
57
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:04,760
All your life, you've had boys
swooning at your feet.
58
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,319
What is that, is that a swoon?
59
00:03:07,439 --> 00:03:09,839
I think so! I've never seen one.
60
00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:12,800
So, you're bored with adoration,
61
00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:15,240
and you've forgotten
how to say yes to love.
62
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:16,279
MARIETTE SIGHS
63
00:03:16,319 --> 00:03:18,319
I've said yes.
64
00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:22,439
Even when I should've said no.
65
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,999
Alan from the...
From the butcher's!
66
00:03:25,039 --> 00:03:26,920
BOTH GIGGLE
67
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,559
MARIETTE SIGHS
68
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:31,200
Charley's just arrived
at the wrong time.
69
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,080
RAPS LIGHTLY
70
00:04:03,439 --> 00:04:05,200
Er... Larkin.
71
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,200
Ah, Sir George and Lady,
my favourite posh types.
72
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,400
We always enjoy your...
your badinage.
73
00:04:11,439 --> 00:04:13,599
Oh.
Though we should be cursing you,
74
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,999
after you scuppered the plan
for our house.
75
00:04:16,039 --> 00:04:19,200
Well, it's no skin off your nose,
is it? You sold it to Tom Fisher.
76
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:24,080
No, he only had the option to buy
Bluff Court if planning was granted.
77
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,679
Oh, clever basket.
78
00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:30,679
So, of the many,
many potential buyers,
79
00:04:30,719 --> 00:04:33,159
we thought first of you.
80
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,640
Oh, me? Me, is it?
81
00:04:35,679 --> 00:04:38,080
Yes, you. I said you.
82
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,560
Who you ditched when you thought
what you had a better offer?
83
00:04:40,599 --> 00:04:42,479
You want to knock it down!
84
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,760
Only cos it's a death trap.
85
00:04:43,799 --> 00:04:46,279
It would be like
watching your best friend
86
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,839
being punched in the face!
No, it wouldn't.
87
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,640
And then whimpering as
she's steamrolled into the ground,
88
00:04:51,679 --> 00:04:54,919
limbs... twitching.
89
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,919
Ignore him, please.
90
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,640
Consider buying it from us, Pop.
91
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,080
I'll give it some thought.
92
00:05:12,159 --> 00:05:14,039
This'll make a good jump.
93
00:05:21,719 --> 00:05:23,719
ENGINE PURRS
94
00:05:26,719 --> 00:05:28,200
Ah!
95
00:05:28,239 --> 00:05:31,320
SHE WHIMPERS
96
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,200
Excuse me,
where's the police station?
97
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,159
Admit nothing!
I'll get you a good lawyer.
98
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,520
What?!
So, what is it, then?
99
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,719
Cat burglary? Or did you snap
and kill your husband?
100
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,719
Well, let's just say
I'm no longer married.
101
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,279
That's not looking good for you,
is it?
102
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,599
SHE CHUCKLES
You're a scream!
103
00:05:53,799 --> 00:05:56,440
Pop Larkin.
Angela Snow.
104
00:05:56,479 --> 00:06:00,679
Oh, I was caught speeding,
and I need to show my licence.
105
00:06:00,719 --> 00:06:03,400
I usually claim the sign was hidden
behind a parked laundry van.
106
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,320
But this time,
I may plead insanity.
107
00:06:05,359 --> 00:06:07,479
Outrageous, but my kind of girl.
108
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,400
Want to come to a cocktail party
Saturday?
109
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,919
Hold me back! Heaven.
110
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,599
What a friendly village.
Or is it just you?
111
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,320
Just me. Come on, I'll show you
where the cop shop is.
112
00:06:18,359 --> 00:06:20,359
SHE GIGGLES
It's only round the corner.
113
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,560
Utterly debauched.
114
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:26,120
Is he debauched?
Oh, he's debauched.
115
00:06:26,159 --> 00:06:28,880
I suspect he has a whole raft
of women.
116
00:06:28,919 --> 00:06:31,080
A raft of women.
117
00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,320
Intriguing idea.
118
00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:35,640
And so selfish.
119
00:06:35,679 --> 00:06:37,880
Stopping the Bluff Court
development,
120
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:40,080
which would've made us all rich.
121
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,799
The entire Larkin family
is deeply uncouth.
122
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:46,599
You don't have six children
if you're couth.
123
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,799
You stop at two,
and start building a pension.
124
00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,479
HORSE NICKERS
125
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,679
Talk amongst yourselves.
126
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,440
I've come to shovel out your shed.
127
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,560
Ah. Thank you.
128
00:07:04,359 --> 00:07:05,520
Or did you do it?
129
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:07,120
HORSE NICKERS
130
00:07:23,599 --> 00:07:26,719
Je m'appelle Mariette.
131
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,640
Je suis ravi de votre connaissance.
132
00:07:34,799 --> 00:07:36,080
KNOCK AT DOOR
133
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,479
Mr Larkin, don't look at me.
134
00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:41,799
Why not? Fine figure of a woman.
135
00:07:41,839 --> 00:07:44,159
In need of a sausage.
136
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,120
THEY CHUCKLE
137
00:07:46,159 --> 00:07:48,479
Fried bacon.
138
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,200
Kipper.
139
00:07:51,239 --> 00:07:52,760
You're so good to me, Mr Larkin.
140
00:07:54,839 --> 00:07:56,359
Still no telly?
141
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:58,320
I couldn't possibly afford
a licence.
142
00:07:58,359 --> 00:08:01,479
I'm worried about you, Edith.
You seem so sad.
143
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,400
No, no, no, not really.
144
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,640
Well, I'll admit to sluggish.
145
00:08:06,679 --> 00:08:08,839
Well, we can't have that.
Why don't you help me
146
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,039
with the donkey derby
in our meadow on Saturday?
147
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,760
Oh, I'd love that.
I have a soft spot for donkeys.
148
00:08:13,799 --> 00:08:16,640
If you're talking about your bottom,
you're a saucy so-and-so.
149
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,359
Happy now?
Considerably. One more?
150
00:08:27,479 --> 00:08:29,599
SHE LAUGHS
151
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,000
See, Edith, that's good!
152
00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:34,880
Live each day
like it's your last, love.
153
00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:39,200
And keep your hand on your ha'penny.
CLICKS TONGUE
154
00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:41,159
You've been an absolute lamb.
155
00:09:08,079 --> 00:09:10,000
Je me lave
156
00:09:10,039 --> 00:09:12,240
Tu te laves
157
00:09:12,279 --> 00:09:14,279
Il se lave
158
00:09:14,319 --> 00:09:15,880
Elle se lave...
159
00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:17,480
All together now!
160
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,760
Il se lave
Il...
161
00:09:19,799 --> 00:09:21,679
Je me lave
162
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,840
Il se lave
163
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,520
Elle se lave
164
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:29,400
Je me lave
Elle se lave.
165
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:32,439
Hmm?
166
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,480
Nous nous lavons
167
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:36,360
Vous vous lavez
168
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,600
Il se lave
169
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,240
Elle se lave...
170
00:09:42,279 --> 00:09:44,120
Good.
SHE GIGGLES
171
00:09:44,159 --> 00:09:45,640
Now, imperfect tense.
172
00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:47,799
Je me lavais.
173
00:09:50,079 --> 00:09:53,360
Erm... I haven't had a chance
174
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,279
to ask you yesterday
what you were up to in the woods.
175
00:09:56,319 --> 00:09:59,760
Oh. That.
176
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,600
Yes, yeah, I...
177
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,760
My master plan went awry.
178
00:10:08,799 --> 00:10:10,919
Well, I was worried about you.
179
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,360
SHE CHUCKLES
180
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,880
I really thought,
"He's... He's going mad." Yeah!
181
00:10:14,919 --> 00:10:17,279
Yeah, maybe I am.
182
00:10:18,959 --> 00:10:21,079
I mean, you have that power over me.
183
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,600
But, you know, I thought
that romantic props might help,
184
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,959
but I am just going to tell you now,
185
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,880
Mariette, I am in love with you.
186
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,840
Yes, I love you.
187
00:10:36,079 --> 00:10:38,400
I've loved you ever since
I first saw you only weeks ago.
188
00:10:38,439 --> 00:10:42,640
I mean, you have turned me
from a taxman into a...
189
00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,720
Yeah! A human being.
190
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:49,559
I mean, you are
the new beating heart of my life.
191
00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:52,760
Well, good.
192
00:10:52,799 --> 00:10:55,000
What could I offer you?
193
00:10:55,039 --> 00:10:57,319
Well, honesty,
194
00:10:57,360 --> 00:10:59,480
free from smooth talking,
195
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,520
and fun and seriousness and...
and kindness.
196
00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:07,760
And... And actually,
I am surprisingly good at sport.
197
00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:09,400
Honestly, you know...
198
00:11:09,439 --> 00:11:11,840
OK, watch. Right, see?
199
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,159
SHE LAUGHS
200
00:11:14,199 --> 00:11:15,880
That's better with a dart, actually.
201
00:11:15,919 --> 00:11:18,679
And OK, music,
I'm really good at music!
202
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,919
And, God, I am just utterly,
utterly dedicated to you.
203
00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:35,520
So, what do you say?
204
00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,679
What do you say, Mariette Larkin?
205
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,880
Will you stay with me?
206
00:11:50,439 --> 00:11:52,120
No.
207
00:11:53,199 --> 00:11:55,120
I... I'm sorry.
208
00:11:56,199 --> 00:12:00,919
And if you really love me,
you'll let me go.
209
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:05,679
Yeah.
210
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,760
SHOP DOORBELL JINGLES
211
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,600
It's not even lunchtime,
212
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,199
and I've seen Pop Larkin
flirting with an unfamiliar hussy
213
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,559
and Ma holding a baby -
214
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:23,079
and not grimly, out of politeness,
like most of us do -
215
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,360
which she's obviously desperate
to keep quiet.
216
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,640
I loathe tittle-tattle, Norma.
217
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,079
But it's true.
218
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,039
The Larkins family
are out of control
219
00:12:31,079 --> 00:12:32,959
and capable of anything.
220
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,799
Is there anyone more foolish
than a gossip?
221
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,600
Fish? Chickens?
222
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,120
The Larkins are good, generous folk.
223
00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,840
But whose baby is it?
224
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,439
There have been no births
in the village, to my knowledge.
225
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,640
Well, clearly,
it's either Mariette's,
226
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:49,159
or her father's
by some mystery woman.
227
00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:10,120
There's your next one.
228
00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:11,400
Do you know what you're doing?
229
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,679
What's wrong?
230
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,439
People are sly and horrible.
231
00:13:18,439 --> 00:13:20,720
There's rumours going round
about Dad flirting
232
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,679
and Mum looking after a secret baby.
233
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,199
Bloody 'ell.
234
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,120
I'm sure it's lies.
235
00:13:26,159 --> 00:13:28,000
But Mum has been off on her own
a lot recently.
236
00:13:28,039 --> 00:13:30,840
And Dad took sausage
to Miss Pilchester.
237
00:13:42,199 --> 00:13:44,079
You all right, Larkinettes?
238
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,240
You're all a bit quiet.
239
00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:50,679
What's up?
Yeah?
240
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,400
I met a lovely woman this morning.
241
00:13:52,439 --> 00:13:54,760
More lovely than Ma?
I heard she's horrible.
242
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:56,760
No, obviously not more lovely
than Ma,
243
00:13:56,799 --> 00:13:58,600
but a nice woman, she's a laugh.
244
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,799
Angela Snow's her name. Yeah.
Very swish, breath of fresh air.
245
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,120
Peculiar.
Mm-hm.
246
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,720
Ta, I feel special, but it's not
gonna affect my decision.
247
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,880
No, no, Mariette, come on, drink up.
248
00:14:14,919 --> 00:14:17,439
Be merry. Enjoy the benefits, eh?
249
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,640
Cigar?
250
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,079
Maybe later.
251
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,319
LAUGHTER
252
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,760
What is it, Primrose, gorgeous girl?
253
00:14:27,799 --> 00:14:29,000
Nothing.
254
00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:30,919
I know nothings, and that's not one.
255
00:14:31,919 --> 00:14:35,520
All right.
I heard people gossiping about...
256
00:14:35,559 --> 00:14:38,319
well, us being a weird family,
257
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,520
and Dad liking other women.
258
00:14:40,559 --> 00:14:42,240
SHE LAUGHS
259
00:14:42,279 --> 00:14:44,079
Don't smile. You should be jealous.
260
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,600
That's not me and your Pop's way.
261
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,919
He believes in spreading good cheer.
262
00:14:49,959 --> 00:14:52,159
But what if he was serious
about someone else?
263
00:14:52,199 --> 00:14:56,480
Oh, I love your dad so much.
264
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,240
But I hold myself
in pretty high regard, too.
265
00:14:59,279 --> 00:15:00,600
Maybe he should worry about me.
266
00:15:04,079 --> 00:15:06,760
You don't keep a man
by sitting on him.
267
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,640
Least of all Pop.
268
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,959
Looks like a big bosom, doesn't it?
269
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,480
Hold your dad back!
SHE CHUCKLES
270
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,319
They also talked about seeing you
with a baby, and whose it might be.
271
00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:24,600
What, holding a baby's a crime now,
is it?
272
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,840
If that's the case,
I've been a criminal
273
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,039
pretty regularly
these past 20 years.
274
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:36,199
COCKEREL CROWS
275
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,400
KNOCK ON DOOR
276
00:15:41,559 --> 00:15:44,520
Oh, sorry, I'll be right there.
277
00:15:44,559 --> 00:15:46,679
Really, this is far too much.
278
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,039
No, it isn't.
We need you to be happy.
279
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,240
Thanks, dwarves,
but I'm not Snow-ruddy-White.
280
00:15:55,279 --> 00:15:57,799
Look, OK, go.
281
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,240
Thank you.
282
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,840
Oh!
CUTLERY CLATTERS
283
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,720
Ah!
Right, no, look, that is enough.
284
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,360
Right, listen, everyone,
stop treating me like I'm Lady Muck.
285
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,760
It's exhausting!
286
00:16:16,799 --> 00:16:18,039
Quite right, precious.
287
00:16:18,079 --> 00:16:20,480
You're the boss.
Can we bring you anything?
288
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,240
Ha-ha-hey, Tom!
289
00:16:32,279 --> 00:16:34,600
Let's not pretend
we care for each other.
290
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,199
I've already done enough acting
in this godforsaken outpost.
291
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,840
Oh, so are you moving on?
When I'm ready.
292
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,039
I haven't completely finished
with the oil yet.
293
00:16:42,079 --> 00:16:44,039
You don't have to play
the pantomime villain, Tom.
294
00:16:44,079 --> 00:16:45,840
There are plenty
of other parts available
295
00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:49,000
in our lovely little village!
HE LAUGHS
296
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,079
HORN HONKS
297
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,880
SHE CHUCKLES
298
00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,120
Pop!
299
00:17:02,799 --> 00:17:04,640
Hello, Angela.
Coppers let you go, then?
300
00:17:04,679 --> 00:17:06,600
Yes. I promised to be a good girl.
301
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,959
Never promise that.
302
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,439
You have to lie to the police
to keep them on their toes. You do.
303
00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,040
I'm on my way to the village,
collecting booze for our do.
304
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,320
You wanna rest your pins?
305
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,040
Always, darling.
306
00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,519
Come on, hop in.
307
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,080
Just to warn you, though,
I've only just passed my test.
308
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,120
SHE LAUGHS
309
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:29,560
Oh!
SPORADIC REVVING
310
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,479
BOTH LAUGH
311
00:17:31,519 --> 00:17:33,679
Well, I liked the look
of the place yesterday,
312
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,439
so I fancied a ramble round it.
313
00:17:35,479 --> 00:17:38,239
Well, come and live in the village.
I mean, we always want new people.
314
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,479
We're like hop-growing
Dr Frankensteins.
315
00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,679
Thank you, darling.
I may just do that.
316
00:17:42,719 --> 00:17:44,600
Mwah!
317
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,800
Oh, I say.
Pop, you old devil.
318
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,999
I'm telling Ma.
No.
319
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,880
It's nice that old people
still like a quick, informal snog.
320
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,800
Let me in then, big man.
321
00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,719
BABY CRIES
322
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:14,239
Thank God you're here!
323
00:18:15,519 --> 00:18:17,439
You can relax now, Aunt Fan.
324
00:18:17,479 --> 00:18:19,640
We can't cope, he's possessed!
325
00:18:19,679 --> 00:18:22,280
SHE CHUCKLES
No, he's not!
326
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,080
He's adorable.
327
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:26,600
Little Oscar.
BABY STOPS CRYING
328
00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,080
How do you do that?
329
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:29,959
Well, having six babies helps.
330
00:18:29,999 --> 00:18:33,400
Seth, he's got your face.
Poor little squirt.
331
00:18:33,439 --> 00:18:34,719
SHE CHUCKLES
332
00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:36,759
Any word from your daughter?
333
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,400
No, Hattie can't look after herself,
334
00:18:39,439 --> 00:18:41,719
no surprise
her own baby's beyond her.
335
00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:43,280
Hat won't rush back.
336
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,400
She's fallen in with rascals
up there in Whitsta-bubble.
337
00:18:46,439 --> 00:18:48,919
Well, it's a strain,
being a new mum.
338
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:51,560
Especially if the dad's run away
like a bastard.
339
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,280
But the word's getting out
about Oscar.
340
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,800
There's snoopers around.
341
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,560
We'll have to shut
all the curtains, then.
342
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,439
Front and back.
343
00:19:01,479 --> 00:19:03,919
I don't want folks knowing
my daughter's had a wobble.
344
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,719
There's nothing wrong with a wobble.
345
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:08,199
But what are me and my sister here
gonna do, eh?
346
00:19:08,239 --> 00:19:09,479
You're gonna carry on.
347
00:19:09,519 --> 00:19:11,640
Like this, with my help.
348
00:19:11,679 --> 00:19:16,400
And wait till your Hat sees sense
and comes back to her baby.
349
00:19:16,439 --> 00:19:19,640
And in the meantime,
us Larkins'll do our bit.
350
00:19:19,679 --> 00:19:22,560
Just like we always do.
Just like we always do!
351
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,159
BABY BABBLES,
SHE LAUGHS
352
00:19:28,719 --> 00:19:31,040
That is a Ma Cherie cocktail.
353
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,360
Yes, it is.
Frisky but not debilitating.
354
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,239
What do you reckon, Charley boy?
355
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,560
CHARLIE GULPS
356
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,439
Ooh! Ooh-hoo! I like that one. Yeah!
357
00:19:43,479 --> 00:19:45,640
Although... on balance,
I've liked them all.
358
00:19:45,679 --> 00:19:49,560
Well, all of them it is, then!
How's, er... How's tomorrow's, er...
359
00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:52,840
SLURRED WORDS: ..er,
equestrian preparation proceeding?
360
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,280
THEY LAUGH
I can't believe I got that out!
361
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,800
THEY LAUGH
I dunno!
362
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,959
Brigadier, the kids are in charge.
363
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:03,280
Onto the canapes.
'Ere, these'll tickle you.
364
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,120
Ooh, crisps!
365
00:20:05,159 --> 00:20:08,159
Yeah, but flavoured
with cheese and onion.
366
00:20:08,199 --> 00:20:09,800
Ooh, what will they think of next?
367
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,080
Mm!
These.
368
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,840
Ooh!
369
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,360
"Twig-lays"!
370
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,560
I-I don't think they're French!
371
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,199
THEY LAUGH
Sorry, sorry.
372
00:20:19,239 --> 00:20:20,999
I've got France on my mind.
373
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,120
You know,
France and unrequited love.
374
00:20:24,159 --> 00:20:26,280
And goats, for some reason.
375
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,040
Goats?!
THEY LAUGH
376
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,919
Urgh! No! No, I don't think
drink is the answer.
377
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,840
Then you're asking
the wrong question!
378
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:56,719
I think we're gonna win this
tomorrow.
379
00:20:56,759 --> 00:20:58,880
Don't you, matey?
380
00:20:58,919 --> 00:21:01,080
Go on. Go on, Biscuit.
381
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,600
New parish magazine, two bob.
382
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:07,999
You're going straight to hell!
383
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,159
Rev, keep it civil.
384
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,199
HORSE APPROACHES
385
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,759
So, word is Mariette Larkin's
going away.
386
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,400
SHE SIGHS
She'll never leave.
387
00:21:25,439 --> 00:21:27,199
And her mother's been seen
with the baby
388
00:21:27,239 --> 00:21:28,719
everyone's trying to keep quiet.
389
00:21:28,759 --> 00:21:30,880
What's wrong with your face?
390
00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:34,120
Obviously,
it's Mariette Larkin's baby.
391
00:21:34,159 --> 00:21:36,320
Oh...
That's probably balls,
392
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,439
but fair enough.
Yeah, don't ruin a nice bit of dirt.
393
00:21:39,479 --> 00:21:41,320
I don't remember her
looking pregnant.
394
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:43,080
She could've knocked it out
in the winter,
395
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,840
when we were all half asleep.
But who's the dad?
396
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,719
God, I love village life.
397
00:21:54,959 --> 00:21:57,320
SHE CHORTLES
398
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,280
How are you, Ma?
399
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:04,719
I'm in love with that baby.
I bet.
400
00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:09,479
Oh... I loved it
when our lot were tiny, 'ey?
401
00:22:09,519 --> 00:22:12,040
Playing in the barn
with them, in the hay... Mm.
402
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,360
..rain drumming on the roof.
Mm.
403
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,080
Yeah.
404
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,600
Ooh, you know
there's rumours flying?
405
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,640
Oh, let 'em talk.
Well, they'll have to do.
406
00:22:21,679 --> 00:22:25,719
Seth's ashamed that his daughter's
abandoned her new baby, so...
407
00:22:25,759 --> 00:22:28,239
he wants it kept quiet
until she comes back.
408
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,280
Yeah, I'll bet.
409
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:34,360
They're gossiping about you doing
the funny business with a new lady.
410
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:35,640
Angela?
Mm.
411
00:22:35,679 --> 00:22:38,360
No, codswallop.
Oh, well, I know that.
412
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,600
Hope you gave Edith Pilchester
a nice little kiss, though.
413
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,159
Course I did. Pepped her up a bit.
414
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:55,080
You know, tomorrow...
we should find her a man.
415
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:58,560
Oh, there'll be too much else to do.
Most of all, show Mariette
416
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:02,600
that this is the best,
most fun place on God's earth.
417
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:03,919
Yeah.
418
00:23:03,959 --> 00:23:06,640
Otherwise,
it'll be her last day here.
419
00:23:10,159 --> 00:23:11,600
Dim the moon, would you, love?
420
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:18,719
Ta.
421
00:23:38,159 --> 00:23:40,320
Come here, come here.
Come on, come on.
422
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:41,919
Oi! Big ears!
423
00:23:41,959 --> 00:23:44,159
Yes, you! Slow down!
DONKEYS BRAY
424
00:23:44,199 --> 00:23:46,199
Well, you say that... Hang on.
425
00:23:46,239 --> 00:23:48,159
Come on, come on.
426
00:23:48,199 --> 00:23:50,120
BABY CRIES
427
00:23:50,159 --> 00:23:53,320
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
428
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,959
CRYING CONTINUES
429
00:23:59,719 --> 00:24:02,880
CRYING STOPS
430
00:24:02,919 --> 00:24:05,719
Hattie, er...
431
00:24:05,759 --> 00:24:07,280
Hattie's not coming back.
432
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,800
She says she'll be worse
than no parent.
433
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,320
Oh, Seth...
434
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,159
You and Pop need to take him.
435
00:24:18,199 --> 00:24:22,479
No. No, we got half a dozen.
That's an egg box.
436
00:24:22,519 --> 00:24:25,919
Here, you're good with kids.
And the kid's a rellie o' yours!
437
00:24:25,959 --> 00:24:28,600
Second nephew once removed
or whatnot.
438
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:33,600
Yeah, so you could adopt him.
You know... casual, like.
439
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,640
You're his only hope!
440
00:24:35,679 --> 00:24:38,199
Otherwise, he'll end up
in a kiddies' home.
441
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:46,719
All right. I'll take him
back with me for a while.
442
00:24:46,759 --> 00:24:50,959
Just till Hattie recovers and...
and comes back for her baby.
443
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,239
BABY WHIMPERS
444
00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:00,239
I mean, I love a tricky old pile
as much as the next man.
445
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:02,280
I'm not talking about
the backside ones, either.
446
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,159
Oh, no, they're horrid.
Granted.
447
00:25:04,199 --> 00:25:06,840
But look at it! And you!
448
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,640
It's killing you, Sir George,
you know, trying to keep it going.
449
00:25:10,679 --> 00:25:13,560
Especially with the orangery,
isn't it? Which has never produced
450
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,080
so much as one orange.
FRENCH PRONUNCIATION: Orangery.
451
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:17,560
On... Huh?
452
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,719
FRENCH PRONUNCIATION: Orang...ery.
Orangery. I agree.
453
00:25:20,759 --> 00:25:23,320
Buy it and knock it down.
454
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:27,360
No, please don't.
It's got some lovely period details.
455
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,400
Haven't we all?
456
00:25:29,439 --> 00:25:32,560
Look, I've got a lot to do today,
but, you know, pfft, I'll buy it.
457
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,159
SHE GASPS
At last!
458
00:25:35,199 --> 00:25:36,759
Thank you!
OK.
459
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,040
What are you gonna do
with the property?
460
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,679
HE SIGHS
461
00:25:41,719 --> 00:25:43,040
HE CHUCKLES
462
00:25:52,239 --> 00:25:53,959
FEEDBACK
Testing, testing.
463
00:25:53,999 --> 00:25:55,719
DONKEYS BRAY
464
00:26:00,519 --> 00:26:01,719
Charley!
465
00:26:01,759 --> 00:26:04,959
Oh, hello, Ma.
You coming up to our do later on?
466
00:26:04,999 --> 00:26:08,479
Er, no, no,
I don't think I'll bother.
467
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,800
Come on up now.
All right.
468
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,640
I got a job for you.
Oh, all right.
469
00:26:16,679 --> 00:26:19,519
BABY CRIES
470
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,120
Oh... Whose is that?
471
00:26:23,239 --> 00:26:24,560
Hard to say.
472
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,679
Can I wear your red dress?
Get lost, that's my favourite.
473
00:26:27,719 --> 00:26:29,479
I'll wear them all if you leave.
474
00:26:29,519 --> 00:26:31,959
MIMICS: "I'll wear them all
if you leave."
475
00:26:31,999 --> 00:26:33,999
THEY LAUGH,
BABY WHIMPERS
476
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,040
What-what's going on?
477
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,919
We might be having another baby.
478
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,360
There you go, Pa.
Yep, cheers, Reg.
479
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,600
Form an orderly queue...
then orderly R, then an orderly S.
480
00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,320
Classic jokes, no charge.
481
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:01,679
JOHNNY OVER SPEAKERS:
We're just moments away
482
00:27:01,719 --> 00:27:03,679
from the donkey races,
so do grab a ride
483
00:27:03,719 --> 00:27:07,560
if you're a bit thick
and don't value your own life.
484
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,199
Just four kamikazes so far.
485
00:27:10,239 --> 00:27:13,199
If you throw me off, you'll be
dog food and glue within a week.
486
00:27:13,239 --> 00:27:14,479
Got that?
487
00:27:14,519 --> 00:27:16,959
Actually, that reminds me
of when I played Jesus
488
00:27:16,999 --> 00:27:18,479
in Worthing Rec, for my sins.
489
00:27:18,519 --> 00:27:22,320
Every show, twice nightly, I'd come
on stage riding this donkey.
490
00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,640
And how I managed to get
to the end of the week
491
00:27:24,679 --> 00:27:27,759
without strangling that
lardy grey slob, I have no idea.
492
00:27:28,919 --> 00:27:30,439
Say what you like about actors,
493
00:27:30,479 --> 00:27:34,040
but very few of them pee on stage
and paddle around on it.
494
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,759
Anyway, on with the ladies' race.
495
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,519
Go on, then, on you get, Edith,
join in.
496
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,040
No, it'd be absolutely ghastly.
497
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,719
I've never ridden anything
in my life.
498
00:27:40,759 --> 00:27:44,640
What did we agree about living
each day like it's our last?
499
00:27:44,679 --> 00:27:47,360
I don't think I agreed.
Well, then, let's start today.
500
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,560
Come on. Mr Larkin!
Come on, Edith.
501
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,239
Come on.
Oh...
502
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,719
HE CHUCKLES
503
00:27:52,759 --> 00:27:55,880
There you go!
BREATHLESSLY: Mr Larkin...
504
00:27:55,919 --> 00:27:58,519
There you go.
Debauchery.
505
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,439
DONKEY BRAY
Steady, steady.
506
00:28:02,479 --> 00:28:04,759
Oh, that guy's
going to shoot a donkey.
507
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,439
Maybe it's been naughty.
Bit excessive.
508
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,199
Apologies. I've been told it's
a starting pistol.
509
00:28:12,239 --> 00:28:14,400
PISTOL FIRES
510
00:28:14,439 --> 00:28:17,360
CHEERING
511
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,120
There are going to be
some red lady bottoms tonight.
512
00:28:21,159 --> 00:28:23,759
Ah, she's listing heavily,
and she's gone!
513
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,679
LAUGHTER
You're a shambles!
514
00:28:29,679 --> 00:28:32,120
Grip with your thighs, Edith,
grip with your thighs!
515
00:28:32,159 --> 00:28:34,320
Shameless.
Filth.
516
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,719
Like it, eh? It's a bit heavy.
517
00:28:36,759 --> 00:28:38,040
PISTOL FIRES
518
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,719
DONKEYS GRUNT
Whoa, whoa!
519
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:44,519
Oh, no, Ma, it IS
the last day of her life!
520
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:45,719
GRUNTING CONTINUES
521
00:28:45,759 --> 00:28:48,040
Whoa!
SPLASH
522
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,280
Edith!
Are you all right, Miss Pilchester?
523
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,239
I've never felt more alive!
Or more injured!
524
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,479
THEY LAUGH
525
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,759
Well, everyone else has given up.
Don't know why she's bothering.
526
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,600
LAUGHTER
527
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,320
The winner is...
er, an angry blonde girl.
528
00:29:17,159 --> 00:29:19,159
BABY BABBLES
529
00:29:19,199 --> 00:29:20,840
DOOR OPENS
530
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,280
Sorry, Charley, sweetheart.
You go and have some fun.
531
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,439
Oh.
532
00:29:25,479 --> 00:29:27,600
You're a lovely boy.
533
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,320
Oh, we so want you to win
Mariette over and be with her.
534
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:33,239
Mm, me too.
535
00:29:35,159 --> 00:29:37,159
So I'll go and do that, then.
536
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,199
I don't like these clouds.
537
00:29:41,239 --> 00:29:44,159
But there's one thing
I've learnt in life,
538
00:29:44,199 --> 00:29:45,959
is to ignore the weather
and critics.
539
00:29:45,999 --> 00:29:48,360
So, it's time for the horse jumping.
540
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,919
Er, and that doesn't mean people
jumping over horses, although, er...
541
00:29:51,959 --> 00:29:54,400
although perhaps
we could do that a bit later, yeah?
542
00:29:55,439 --> 00:29:57,759
So, first to jump is, er, erm...
543
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,999
erm, the-the-the pretty one.
Mariette Larkin.
544
00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,560
APPLAUSE
545
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,360
She's only a slip of a girl,
she'd make a good jockey.
546
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,999
Go on, yeah, brilliant.
Or you could send her up a chimney.
547
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,199
Go on, Mariette! Go on.
548
00:30:14,919 --> 00:30:17,679
'Ey up. Cat, pigeons.
549
00:30:22,999 --> 00:30:25,360
CROWD GASPS
Oh, she's clattered into that...
550
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:26,439
er, what's-it.
551
00:30:31,239 --> 00:30:34,320
Hello.
You made such a mistake.
552
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:35,679
Watch this.
553
00:30:35,719 --> 00:30:38,719
Excuse me, there's a system!
554
00:30:38,759 --> 00:30:40,199
Yeah, yeah.
555
00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:43,080
And this is Mrs Fothergill
on... Debbie?
556
00:30:44,519 --> 00:30:47,800
Dressed all in black,
going for that mystery man look.
557
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,400
Reminds me of a shadow.
558
00:30:51,519 --> 00:30:53,679
He's good, though, the lad,
he's good, he's good.
559
00:30:53,719 --> 00:30:55,159
Oh, he's hopped them too.
560
00:30:55,199 --> 00:30:56,439
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
561
00:30:58,959 --> 00:31:00,360
CROWD GASPS
562
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,880
And that's a clear round
from the man in black.
563
00:31:03,919 --> 00:31:06,519
Very slimming colour,
of course, black.
564
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,919
Feel free to take me on.
565
00:31:10,919 --> 00:31:12,719
Right, that's it, I need a horse.
566
00:31:12,759 --> 00:31:14,679
No, wait, Charley,
don't rise to it, son!
567
00:31:14,719 --> 00:31:16,519
No, rise to it!
Win!
568
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,479
I swear... Sorry, can I...?
569
00:31:18,519 --> 00:31:20,519
What?
Erm, right...
570
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,840
No, Charley, don't,
it's not your thing.
571
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,040
Oh, what is my thing,
being a lovable loser?
572
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,999
No-one's obeying the system!
573
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,280
Oh, he's doing it without a saddle.
He's never been on a horse, has he?
574
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:33,959
So, he's either very good or...
575
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,600
The technical term for that
is "untidy".
576
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,560
Oh! Sorry! Sorry, sorry.
577
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,320
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
578
00:31:55,479 --> 00:31:57,439
Oh, he's gone again.
579
00:31:57,479 --> 00:32:00,199
They really should
make these horses wider.
580
00:32:00,239 --> 00:32:01,959
Or could we tie him on?
581
00:32:05,519 --> 00:32:06,719
Whoa!
582
00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,519
LAUGHTER
583
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,040
No, perhaps we should all look away.
584
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:13,679
Reminds me of a drunk actress
I once worked with.
585
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,959
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
This is almost over, I promise.
586
00:32:19,999 --> 00:32:22,439
HORSE WHINNIES
Sorry. Thank you, thank you.
587
00:32:25,239 --> 00:32:26,959
Yeah, well done, Charley, lad.
588
00:32:26,999 --> 00:32:28,840
Well done for giving it a go,
Charley boy.
589
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:30,640
APPLAUSE
590
00:32:30,679 --> 00:32:32,600
Woo!
591
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:33,959
We love you, Charley!
592
00:32:33,999 --> 00:32:36,320
Ladies and gentlemen,
the lovable loser.
593
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:37,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
594
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,840
Good lad.
595
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,800
OK. Ooh!
596
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,080
And one more fall for the road.
597
00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:50,880
Sorry, I'm sorry, I just...
598
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,679
Wow.
SHE LAUGHS
599
00:32:57,719 --> 00:32:59,360
Oh, my...
600
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:11,800
You know what? I think you
might be a bit of a git.
601
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:18,400
I hear you've had a baby
on the quiet. What?!
602
00:33:18,439 --> 00:33:20,120
Looks like I made a lucky escape.
603
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:23,479
No, Charley!
604
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,439
I've got this, it's all right.
605
00:33:27,479 --> 00:33:28,679
Ooh!
606
00:33:28,719 --> 00:33:31,519
You're a bloody taxman loser!
607
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,999
Oh, hang on a minute,
hang on a minute.
608
00:33:35,159 --> 00:33:36,999
BLOWS WHISTLE
609
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,320
Whoo!
610
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:52,040
Well, that concludes
the all-in wrestling,
611
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:54,560
I thank you, ladies and gentlemen!
612
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,320
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
613
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,400
Where would we be
without the Larkins?
614
00:34:04,439 --> 00:34:07,159
Still stuck in Kent, sadly.
615
00:34:07,199 --> 00:34:09,519
But it's true,
they are most generous.
616
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,360
I shouldn't have gone
on that donkey.
617
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:13,199
You know you were facing
the wrong way?
618
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,159
There's no right or wrong way.
There is.
619
00:34:15,199 --> 00:34:16,720
Oh, shut up.
620
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,400
You see, it's another bloody Larkin!
621
00:34:19,439 --> 00:34:21,760
They've brought it home.
622
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,119
What's it doing here?
623
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:25,840
And whose is it?
624
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,519
It could be Pop's,
625
00:34:27,559 --> 00:34:30,200
if Mariette didn't slip away
and have it.
626
00:34:30,240 --> 00:34:32,880
You do understand
about the nine months?
627
00:34:32,919 --> 00:34:34,840
Yes.
You can strap it down.
628
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,240
Mm-hm.
629
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,439
They'll be looking after it
for someone.
630
00:34:38,479 --> 00:34:41,200
I think we will go to that
cocktail party tonight, after all.
631
00:34:49,439 --> 00:34:50,959
KNOCK AT DOOR
632
00:34:50,999 --> 00:34:54,559
Cocktail party!
Woo-hoo!
633
00:34:54,599 --> 00:34:56,599
MUSIC: 'Move It'
by Cliff Richard
634
00:35:01,559 --> 00:35:03,439
I need you girls to be hostesses.
635
00:35:03,479 --> 00:35:05,160
Go on, on you go. I'll follow you.
636
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,639
Well done.
637
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:08,800
Help yourself, lads.
638
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:13,039
There you go, glass of beer,
drop of cider. Well done.
639
00:35:13,079 --> 00:35:15,519
And the twins,
have yourself a Ma Cherie.
640
00:35:15,559 --> 00:35:17,439
Watch yourself, though,
they are lethal.
641
00:35:17,479 --> 00:35:20,400
Not you two, you're eight.
They're Miss Barnwell's.
642
00:35:20,439 --> 00:35:23,160
And welcome. Thank you.
You're welcome, my pleasure.
643
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,479
OK, Lord and Lady B-G,
welcome, welcome.
644
00:35:26,519 --> 00:35:27,919
Everyone having a lovely time?
645
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:30,959
Well, Victoria said
it was a fancy dress party, so...
646
00:35:30,999 --> 00:35:33,880
Yes, never believe
anything she says.
647
00:35:33,919 --> 00:35:34,919
Well...
648
00:35:34,959 --> 00:35:36,400
THUD
What was that?
649
00:35:36,439 --> 00:35:38,760
One of my onions dropped. Sorry.
650
00:35:40,519 --> 00:35:42,959
Are you all right
after your tumble, Edith?
651
00:35:42,999 --> 00:35:46,639
Yes, thank you. Pop's promised
to teach me how to ride.
652
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,999
Grip with the thighs.
MA CHUCKLES
653
00:35:51,999 --> 00:35:55,360
Right, thighs!
It gets worse.
654
00:35:56,479 --> 00:35:58,280
And here's the main one.
655
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,800
Sanctity of marriage
means nothing to him.
656
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,039
Mind you, she is rather gorgeous.
657
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,599
Do you dance at all?
Well, I fling 'em up a bit.
658
00:36:10,639 --> 00:36:12,599
You know, Ginger Rogers
lives over in Pluckley,
659
00:36:12,639 --> 00:36:14,840
she's always dropping in
for a shimmy, drives me mad.
660
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,200
THEY LAUGH
661
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:18,079
Is it me,
or is that man staring at me,
662
00:36:18,119 --> 00:36:19,840
and has been all weekend?
663
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,639
Alec Norman, has he?
664
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:23,599
There's a wasp at every picnic.
665
00:36:27,479 --> 00:36:30,599
Hello, Ma.
THEY CHUCKLE
666
00:36:31,919 --> 00:36:33,200
There she is.
667
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,039
Our girly.
Yeah.
668
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:38,119
Wow.
669
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,880
You look awful (!)
Thank you.
670
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,200
MUSIC: 'In The Mood'
by Glenn Miller
671
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:51,200
Stop that, Frenchy.
Yeah, come on, share it out.
672
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:53,599
I, er... don't normally dance!
673
00:36:53,639 --> 00:36:55,599
PRIMROSE CHUCKLES
674
00:36:55,639 --> 00:36:57,599
Don't go off tomorrow
looking for excitement,
675
00:36:57,639 --> 00:36:58,919
it's all here.
676
00:37:07,079 --> 00:37:08,919
POP: Fantastic!
677
00:37:16,959 --> 00:37:18,400
Ooh! Hold tight.
678
00:37:31,119 --> 00:37:34,240
Oh, thanks.
Hello, I'm Angela.
679
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,400
I've heard all about you, Mariette.
680
00:37:36,439 --> 00:37:38,240
Oh, dear!
THEY CHUCKLE
681
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,599
Oh, you've got to love
a bopping vicar.
682
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,479
Dancing has never looked
more like unarmed combat.
683
00:37:44,519 --> 00:37:46,800
Yeah, anyone who's seen them
on a dancefloor
684
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,119
never calls us
"the delicate sex" again.
685
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,840
THEY LAUGH
686
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:52,880
Look, it's none of my business -
687
00:37:52,919 --> 00:37:55,360
oh, God, those fatal words -
688
00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,880
but I've travelled a lot,
689
00:37:57,919 --> 00:38:00,479
and I think you should spread
your wings, just like you planned.
690
00:38:00,519 --> 00:38:03,160
He's a sweetheart.
691
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,840
But if I've learnt anything,
692
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,680
it's that it's good
to put love to the test.
693
00:38:10,959 --> 00:38:12,959
MUSIC: 'Sixty Minute Man'
by The Dominoes
694
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,800
Libby, more than that.
695
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,599
You're an active young woman,
not a fruit fly.
696
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,840
It's all bubbling up nicely.
697
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,360
What is?
698
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,039
You notice Pop and Ma
haven't danced?
699
00:38:53,079 --> 00:38:56,999
Well, he's obviously
lining up Miss Snow over there
700
00:38:57,039 --> 00:38:58,559
for an affair.
701
00:38:58,599 --> 00:39:00,919
So, Pop and Ma organised today
702
00:39:00,959 --> 00:39:02,639
to paper over the cracks
in their marriage
703
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:03,840
for the sake of the children.
704
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:09,439
And they've got a baby upstairs,
which is Pop's or Mariette's.
705
00:39:09,479 --> 00:39:12,400
She's pulling a fast one and joining
Tom Fisher in France tonight,
706
00:39:12,439 --> 00:39:14,840
if she can give the taxman the slip.
707
00:39:18,559 --> 00:39:19,720
Darling!
708
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,360
Now, don't say anything.
709
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,559
But we've got a proposal
we're gonna put to you.
710
00:39:25,599 --> 00:39:28,880
Yeah. We've...
711
00:39:28,919 --> 00:39:32,119
We bought big old Bluff Court, see?
712
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,559
And I'm gonna knock it down
before it falls on someone.
713
00:39:34,599 --> 00:39:38,280
And, well, me and Ma, we want you
to have some of the land.
714
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:40,320
Yeah, we know that
you want your independence,
715
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,439
so you can do what you like with it,
build a house or run a business,
716
00:39:43,479 --> 00:39:45,720
or maybe a riding school.
Yeah.
717
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,760
Or if you fancy it,
live there with Charley boy.
718
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,599
We know you love him.
719
00:39:49,639 --> 00:39:52,079
And if he loved you any more,
it'd kill him.
720
00:39:52,119 --> 00:39:53,400
Not half, yeah.
721
00:39:53,439 --> 00:39:55,959
He always forgets to breathe
any time he's near you. Yeah.
722
00:39:55,999 --> 00:39:58,160
He'll have to stop that,
that's unhealthy.
723
00:39:58,200 --> 00:39:59,519
MA CHUCKLES
Yeah.
724
00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:03,280
Oh, Mum, Dad,
725
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,439
you've been so good to me.
726
00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:11,519
MARIETTE SNIFFLES
727
00:40:11,559 --> 00:40:14,919
Better in than out.
Yeah, as Ma and me always says.
728
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,320
But I can't take it.
729
00:40:24,559 --> 00:40:26,559
It's you giving me things again.
730
00:40:28,559 --> 00:40:30,800
I have to make my own way,
731
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:32,599
fight my corner.
732
00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:36,240
And I... I can't be a moon,
733
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,200
revolving round the planet
of Mum and Dad forever.
734
00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,039
Yes, you can.
No, I can't.
735
00:40:41,079 --> 00:40:42,439
Yes, you can.
736
00:40:42,479 --> 00:40:46,039
So... I'm going to Paris.
737
00:40:46,079 --> 00:40:49,999
My future and Charley's will be...
738
00:40:50,039 --> 00:40:52,200
a glorious tale -
739
00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:54,479
or tales -
740
00:40:54,519 --> 00:40:56,919
still to be told.
741
00:40:56,959 --> 00:40:58,880
Right, good.
742
00:40:58,919 --> 00:41:00,720
That's cleared that up, then.
Yeah.
743
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,559
On with the party.
Yeah.
744
00:41:02,599 --> 00:41:04,360
What's that?
745
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,840
I can hear some of our dear friends
shouting out for a speech right now.
746
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,919
Go on, do it anyway.
Yeah.
747
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,840
CHATTER
748
00:41:22,079 --> 00:41:23,880
TAPS GLASS
749
00:41:23,919 --> 00:41:25,880
CLANG
750
00:41:25,919 --> 00:41:27,400
Thank you, Victoria.
751
00:41:27,439 --> 00:41:29,559
Erm... Evening, all.
752
00:41:29,599 --> 00:41:31,720
Lord love ya.
753
00:41:31,760 --> 00:41:34,519
Erm...
My wife isn't standing with me,
754
00:41:34,559 --> 00:41:37,280
because...
well, I've got some news.
755
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,720
And it's been boiling up
for some time now.
756
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:44,200
And it's actually happening, so...
757
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:45,680
Anyway, Ma?
758
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:48,999
BABY OSCAR VOCALISES
759
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,519
This is a new member
of our family, Oscar.
760
00:41:54,559 --> 00:41:58,720
His mother tried, bless her,
761
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:03,280
but she... she couldn't cope.
762
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,639
So, she asked us to adopt him.
763
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:09,959
Which we are honoured to do.
764
00:42:09,999 --> 00:42:11,559
Yeah.
765
00:42:11,599 --> 00:42:14,079
You might be thinking,
"They've already got six!"
766
00:42:14,119 --> 00:42:15,519
LAUGHTER
767
00:42:15,559 --> 00:42:17,039
But...
768
00:42:17,079 --> 00:42:20,039
our Mariette is...
769
00:42:20,079 --> 00:42:21,880
is off on her travels tomorrow.
770
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:29,200
So, what better time
to bring a new Larkin...
771
00:42:30,919 --> 00:42:33,039
..here to home?
772
00:42:33,079 --> 00:42:35,280
I do a very good christening!
Not what I heard.
773
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:36,599
Yeah, you dropped my baby.
774
00:42:36,639 --> 00:42:39,320
Well, the little sod kept wriggling.
775
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:41,760
I know a Buddhist
who does a fabulous service.
776
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:45,400
If we're widening our horizons,
and it's about time,
777
00:42:45,439 --> 00:42:48,119
the Hindu naming ceremony
is very magical.
778
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,320
We don't want any
of that continental nonsense.
779
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,800
Right, come on,
bit of hush now, everyone,
780
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,559
or I'll get the donkeys back in, eh?
781
00:42:54,599 --> 00:42:56,200
LAUGHTER
782
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,240
Now, Ma and me,
we've been hearing some rumours.
783
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:02,919
And... well,
I know who's been spreading 'em,
784
00:43:02,959 --> 00:43:05,079
and I just want to say this.
785
00:43:05,119 --> 00:43:07,360
It don't make a gnat's arse
of difference.
786
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,400
You know why?
Cos I love this village.
787
00:43:10,439 --> 00:43:12,280
And seeing as Ma,
788
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:13,959
my family...
789
00:43:13,999 --> 00:43:14,999
Aw!
790
00:43:15,039 --> 00:43:17,280
..and you lot are in it,
791
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:21,800
and we are blessed
with plenty and beauty,
792
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:26,039
in a world
where they can be in short supply.
793
00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:29,999
Anyway, well,
794
00:43:30,039 --> 00:43:31,919
bugger me if it ain't time
for some fireworks.
795
00:43:31,959 --> 00:43:33,959
LAUGHTER
796
00:43:37,559 --> 00:43:40,240
You know what, Ma?
If we're having a baptism,
797
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,039
maybe we should get wed an' all.
798
00:43:43,079 --> 00:43:44,639
Yeah.
Mm-hm.
799
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:46,479
Wait, you're not married?
800
00:43:46,519 --> 00:43:49,720
Nah, never got round to it.
801
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,760
UNZIPPING
802
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,919
HE GROANS
803
00:44:06,119 --> 00:44:08,360
Don't ever treat the Larkins
like that again.
804
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:18,720
Well, oddly, marriage
actually increases your tax bill,
805
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,519
so, it pays to live in sin.
806
00:44:20,559 --> 00:44:23,360
Uh-uh, don't use that word.
807
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,880
There are no sinners
round these parts.
808
00:44:25,919 --> 00:44:29,079
I mean, you'd certainly be
better off when the time comes.
809
00:44:29,119 --> 00:44:30,119
Time comes for what?
810
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,760
To pay your taxes, Pop.
811
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:33,400
They'll catch up
with you eventually.
812
00:44:33,439 --> 00:44:34,959
FIREWORKS BANG
You must be... joking.
813
00:44:34,999 --> 00:44:35,999
..off, Charley.
814
00:44:36,039 --> 00:44:38,160
THEY CHUCKLE
815
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,240
Oh!
816
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,800
It's amazing, look at it!
817
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,039
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS
818
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,400
I can hear you breathing.
819
00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:05,559
Just leaving you your independence.
820
00:45:05,599 --> 00:45:07,959
SHE GIGGLES
Thank you.
821
00:45:07,999 --> 00:45:10,280
Though you did insist
on inviting me along.
822
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:13,119
Erm... I don't know about insist.
823
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,880
HE SPEAKS FRENCH
824
00:45:16,919 --> 00:45:18,320
What?
825
00:45:18,360 --> 00:45:20,800
You're on your own, mate.
826
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:22,639
Merci "boo-coop".
827
00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:25,079
Merci beaucoup.
828
00:45:25,119 --> 00:45:26,959
Merci "boo-coo".
829
00:45:26,999 --> 00:45:28,599
Merci beaucoup.
830
00:45:28,639 --> 00:45:29,959
Merci beaucoup.
831
00:45:36,479 --> 00:45:39,200
Eating like a Larkin, aren't you?
832
00:45:41,119 --> 00:45:43,400
More orange juice, anyone?
833
00:45:44,599 --> 00:45:47,200
You know what?
I'm glad Mariette's gone off.
834
00:45:47,240 --> 00:45:48,559
I'm not.
835
00:45:48,599 --> 00:45:51,760
Look, your Pop's right, sweetheart,
for once.
836
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,959
She's her own woman,
always has been.
837
00:45:53,999 --> 00:45:57,039
If you've got an itch, scratch it,
don't sit on it.
838
00:45:57,079 --> 00:45:59,200
So earthy!
839
00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:00,200
Ha!
840
00:46:00,240 --> 00:46:01,559
Shouldn't you be at school?
841
00:46:01,599 --> 00:46:03,079
Holiday started, innit?
842
00:46:03,119 --> 00:46:04,880
Yeah, officially summertime.
843
00:46:04,919 --> 00:46:08,880
Well then, let's stop messing around
and have some fun.
844
00:46:08,919 --> 00:46:09,999
Ideas, anyone?
845
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,959
Let's go to the Roman Museum
in Canterbury.
846
00:46:13,999 --> 00:46:15,919
We've done donkeys,
let's ride on pigs!
847
00:46:15,959 --> 00:46:17,400
Let's paint everything yellow.
848
00:46:17,439 --> 00:46:20,680
What about a balloon ride?
Nah, too draughty!
849
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:22,720
Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com
850
00:46:23,705 --> 00:47:23,666
Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/97fvr
Help other users to choose the best subtitles
851
00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:28,266
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
61006
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.