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1
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,279
- * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
2
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,314
* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *
3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,582
* SHAKE IT, DUDE
4
00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:22,556
*
5
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,797
* ONE, TWO,
DO IT *
6
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,200
*
7
00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,401
* ONE, TWO, THREE
8
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,137
- * FOUR, FOUR
9
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,506
*
10
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,545
- BRIAN KINNEY, A FATHER?
11
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,280
- IT'S TRUE.
I WAS THERE.
12
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,282
I SAW IT HAPPEN
WITH MY OWN EYES.
13
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,618
- TALK ABOUT CONCEIVING
THE INCONCEIVABLE.
14
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,086
OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
15
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,122
- WOULD YOU GIVE THE GUY
A BREAK?
16
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,257
- COULDN'T BE ANY WORSE
THAN MY DADDY WAS.
17
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,791
- OR MINE,
NOT THAT I REMEMBER HIM.
18
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,828
- SO WHAT'S NEXT?
PTA PARENT?
19
00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,431
LITTLE LEAGUE COACH?
SCOUTMASTER?
20
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,499
- THEY DON'T ALLOW QUEERS
IN THE SCOUTS.
21
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,635
THEY'RE AFRAID
WE'LL INDUCT NEW RECRUITS.
22
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,305
- I ONLY GO OUT WITH MEN
WHO ALREADY ENLISTED.
23
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,441
SO, UH, WHO'S HE LOOK LIKE?
24
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:17,178
- WELL, HE'S GOT BRIAN'S EYES
AND MOUTH AND...
25
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,779
LINDSAY'S NOSE.
26
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,848
- WELL, IF HE'S GOT MELANIE'S
DICK, WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.
27
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,450
- [chuckles]
28
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,452
- YOU SHOULD SEE THE PICTURES
I TOOK.
29
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,187
HE'S SO ADORABLE.
30
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,489
IN ONE OF THEM, HE'S ACTUALLY
PLAYING WITH HIMSELF.
31
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,359
- WHO, BRIAN?
- NO, THE BABY.
32
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,361
CAN YOU IMAGINE, HE'S ONLY BEEN
IN THE WORLD ABOUT AN HOUR,
33
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,763
AND ALREADY
HE'S PULLING HIS PUD?
34
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,598
- EXCUSE ME.
- YEAH?
35
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,767
- CAN YOU TELL ME
WHERE MEN'S JOCKEY SHORTS ARE?
36
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,603
- AISLE FOUR.
37
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,639
- THANKS.
- SURE.
38
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,641
- WELL, THAT PROVES
THE THEORY.
39
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:50,344
WE'VE ALL GOT DICK ON THE BRAIN
FROM WOMB TO TOMB.
40
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,246
- SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
41
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,614
- I AM.
42
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,882
YEAH, GO FOR IT.
43
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,151
- ARE YOU WATCHING
THAT FILTHY WEBSITE AGAIN?
44
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,753
- YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GUY.
HE MUST BE AT LEAST 10 INCHES.
45
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,190
- TED?
TED!
46
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:03,857
- UH, CAN I PUT YOU ON HOLD
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE?
47
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,826
YES, MR. WERTSHAFTER?
48
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,461
- HAVE YOU FINISHED GOING
OVER THE GROPNIK RETURNS?
49
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:11,465
- OH, YES, SIR.
I JUST PRINTED THEM OUT.
50
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,467
THERE YOU ARE.
FEDERAL AND STATE.
51
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,902
- THANKS.
52
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:18,372
- YOU'RE WELCOME...
MR. WERTSHAFTER.
53
00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,373
- AS A CORPORATION,
54
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:23,544
HE HAS TO START DOING
A MONTHLY DECLARATION...
55
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,914
- SORRY. THE BOSS.
- SHIT! YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL.
56
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,382
- THE LAST THING YOU NEED
IS FOR HIM
57
00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,618
TO CATCH YOU
ON CUMQUICK.COM.
58
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,753
- OH, PLEASE, THAT GUY'S SO
BLIND, HE'S YET TO FIGURE OUT
59
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,688
HIS WIFE'S BEEN BOINKING
HIS BUSINESS PARTNER
60
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,624
FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
HOW DO YOU THINK
61
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,925
HE'S GOING TO FIND OUT
ABOUT ME?
62
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:38,926
I'LL CATCH YOU LATER.
63
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,530
- LATER.
- LATER.
64
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,765
REMEMBER THAT STORY
WE ALL READ IN HIGH SCHOOL,
65
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,701
YOU KNOW THE ONE ABOUT THE
PRISONERS CHAINED IN THE CAVE?
66
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,703
PLATO, OR WHOEVER.
67
00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,839
ALL THEY COULD SEE WERE
SHADOWS ON A WALL,
68
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,476
SO AFTER A WHILE, THEY STARTED
THINKING THAT WAS REALITY.
69
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,611
WELL, IN A WAY,
THAT'S WHAT TED'S LIKE.
70
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,213
IT'S BEEN SO LONG
SINCE HE'S HAD SEX
71
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,548
WITH SOMEONE
HE DIDN'T DOWNLOAD,
72
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,283
HE'S FORGOTTEN
THAT ALL THOSE PERFECT BODIES
73
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,685
AND PERFECT FACES
AREN'T REAL.
74
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,788
THAT NO ONE'S REALLY THERE.
THAT THEY'RE ONLY...
75
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,291
SHADOWS.
76
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,427
THEN AGAIN, WHO EVER GOT
ANAL WARTS IN A CHAT ROOM?
77
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,737
- MICHAEL.
78
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,306
[mouths silently]
79
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:29,310
- [chuckles]
80
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:32,346
[clatter]
81
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,355
- THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN OUR BEER AND THEIR BEER
82
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:45,559
IS THAT OUR BEER
SAYS, "SEX."
83
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:50,864
NOT CLYDESDALES.
84
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,867
IF YOU WANT TO BE COOL,
IF YOU WANT TO BE POPULAR,
85
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,806
IF YOU WANT TO GET LAID...
86
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,008
THIS IS WHAT YOU DRINK.
87
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,977
- UH, BUT WHAT
ABOUT THE MODEL?
88
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:08,882
ARE YOU SURE HE ISN'T TOO,
UM...
89
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,852
- GAY?
90
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,387
LADIES?
91
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,988
- I WOULDN'T CARE
IF HE WAS.
92
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,824
I'D GO TO BED
WITH HIM ANYWAY.
93
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,792
- [giggles]
94
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:22,396
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
95
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,398
- I HADN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT IT.
96
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:27,568
[Freefall by Tom Third]
97
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:35,543
*
98
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:52,793
- * THAT'S RIGHT
99
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:57,665
*
100
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:02,035
- HUT. HUT.
[grunting]
101
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,405
[overlapping shouting]
102
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,641
- GET HIM DOWN.
THAT'S IT. COME ON.
103
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,509
MOVE! MOVE!
104
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,578
YOU GUYS SHOW SOME HUSTLE
OUT THERE.
105
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,080
LET'S GO!
106
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,416
- GUESS WHAT I WAS DOING
LAST NIGHT.
107
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,650
- SLEEPING, SAME AS ME?
108
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:20,120
- HAVING SEX, ALL NIGHT,
109
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,423
WITH THAT GUY I MET,
BRIAN KINNEY.
110
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,960
WE DID IT TILL 6:00
IN THE MORNING.
111
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,931
WELL?
AREN'T YOU SHOCKED?
112
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,534
- NOT REALLY.
113
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,704
- OH.
114
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:41,074
- WELL, I KINDA FIGURED
THAT YOU'RE...
115
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,843
YOU KNOW.
116
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,778
EVEN THOUGH
YOU NEVER TOLD ME.
117
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,581
- I'M TELLING YOU NOW.
118
00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:50,451
- [sighs]
119
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,852
WANT SOME
OF MY VEGGIE WRAP?
120
00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,855
- HUT, HUT!
GO, MAN, RUN, RUN!
121
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,157
- SO WHAT WAS IT LIKE?
122
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,027
- WELL, I STARTED OUT
AS A TIGHT END
123
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,762
BUT WOUND UP
A WIDE RECEIVER.
124
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,763
- [giggles]
125
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,965
- BALL!
- BALL!
126
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,800
- COME ON,
WHERE'S YOUR ARM?
127
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,469
COME ON!
- THANKS.
128
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,970
- FOCUS, YOU GUYS.
129
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:10,771
- THANK YOU.
130
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,540
- GOOD TO MEET YOU.
- THANK YOU.
131
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,876
- NEXT TIME.
- THANKS.
132
00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:21,014
- UH, HE'S...
* MARRIED
133
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,149
- UH-HUH.
134
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,751
- WITH TWO CHILDREN.
135
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,419
- AH, A FAMILY MAN.
136
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,920
- [gasps]
137
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,622
- EXCUSE ME.
138
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,524
COULD YOU, UH, TELL ME
WHERE THE MEN'S ROOM IS?
139
00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,860
- YEAH, IT'S JUST DOWN THE HALL
AND TO THE LEFT.
140
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:37,130
- THANKS.
141
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:41,469
- THAT'S A LONG TRIP.
- [scoffs]
142
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,736
- HE MIGHT GET LOST.
143
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,906
- I'M SURE YOU'LL SHOW HIM
THE WAY.
144
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,777
- THERE I WAS
ON MY BACK.
145
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,179
AND THERE HE WAS ON TOP OF ME,
SLIPPING IT IN.
146
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:55,783
- HMM, THAT MUST HAVE HURT.
DIDN'T IT HURT?
147
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,485
- YEAH, AT FIRST,
IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE
148
00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,653
WAS SHOVING
A BROOM UP THERE.
149
00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,956
BUT I TOLD HIM TO GO SLOWER,
AND HE DID.
150
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:07,060
THEN I STOPPED THINKING ABOUT IT
WHEN I LOOKED AT HIS FACE.
151
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,662
HIS EYES WERE CLOSED.
152
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,799
HIS MOUTH WAS OPEN
IN A SORT OF SMILE,
153
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:15,068
LIKE HE WAS
IN ANOTHER PLACE.
154
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,205
A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.
155
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,208
THAT PLACE WAS ME.
[chuckles]
156
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,076
AND HIS BODY.
157
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,546
GOD!
LIKE, HIS BODY WAS SO AMAZING.
158
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,516
I COULD SEE EVERY MUSCLE.
- MM-HMM.
159
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,019
- HE SAID HE WANTED
TO STAY INSIDE ME FOREVER...
160
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:36,524
AND I WANTED HIM TO.
161
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,559
I STILL FEEL HIM,
162
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,895
LIKE, HE'S STILL THERE.
163
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,064
CHRIST, DAPHNE,
164
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:48,602
EVERYBODY TALKS
ABOUT HAVING SEX...
165
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:52,005
BUT I REALLY DID IT.
166
00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,780
[zipper opens]
167
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,885
- I HAD TO PISS
DURING THAT WHOLE PITCH.
168
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:10,558
DIDN'T THINK
I COULD HOLD IT.
169
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:13,293
- YOUR PRESENTATION
WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE.
170
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,564
- THINK SO?
171
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:24,705
- YEAH,
IT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE.
172
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,306
- WELL, I'M GLAD
YOU LIKED IT
173
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:30,611
BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR.
174
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,946
TO PLEASE THE CLIENT.
175
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,783
- THAT'S IT!
- SO, LIKE, WHAT IS HE NOW?
176
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,017
YOUR BOYFRIEND?
177
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,087
- [chuckles]
WE JUST MET.
178
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,323
- WELL...
DO YOU LOVE HIM?
179
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,960
- I DON'T KNOW.
180
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:50,030
YEAH, I LOVE HIM.
- [giggles]
181
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,765
DOES HE LOVE YOU?
182
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,801
- HE SAID HE DID.
- WHEN?
183
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,637
- WELL, WHEN HE WAS
ABOUT TO SHOOT.
184
00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,839
HE WAS MOVING REALLY FAST,
AND HE LET OUT THIS GROAN
185
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,108
LIKE NOTHING
I'D EVER HEARD BEFORE.
186
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,644
AND THAT'S WHEN HE SAID IT,
RIGHT WHEN HE CAME.
187
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,647
HE SAID, "I LOVE YOU."
188
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,017
THEN HE LEANED IN
AND KISSED ME.
189
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,322
- [clears throat]
190
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,025
WELL, I GUESS
WE BETTER BE GETTING BACK.
191
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,762
- YEAH, I GUESS SO.
192
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,898
- IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE.
193
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:28,669
- IT CAN BE
EVEN MORE OF ONE.
194
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,605
- EXCUSE ME?
195
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,350
- YOU KNOW,
I'M NEVER WRONG.
196
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,186
- HUH?
- OH, NOTHING, BUDDY.
197
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,822
- I-I DON'T KISS.
198
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:52,325
- YEAH, RIGHT.
199
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,195
[electronic music]
200
00:09:55,228 --> 00:10:03,203
*
201
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,373
- * FEELING GOOD
202
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:10,010
* FEELING GOOD
203
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,113
- WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US
TO THE MOVIES?
204
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,748
- I TOLD YOU,
I DON'T WANT TO.
205
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,117
- HE DOESN'T WANT TO.
- COME ON.
206
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,286
WE CAN GO TO THE MALL
AFTERWARDS.
207
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,021
I'LL BUY YOU THOSE JEANS.
208
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,690
- I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.
209
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:26,226
- HE DOESN'T
FEEL LIKE IT.
210
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,895
- WOULD YOU GET
THE FUCK AWAY?
211
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,262
- HE SAID "FUCK"!
212
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,732
- I'LL SAY A LOT WORSE
IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.
213
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:32,866
- MOLLY,
LEAVE HIM ALONE.
214
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,735
AND YOUR FATHER AND I
HAVE ASKED YOU TO PLEASE NOT USE
215
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,136
THOSE WORDS
IN FRONT OF YOUR SISTER.
216
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,337
- SHE'S NOT MY SISTER.
217
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,272
SHE'S A BACTERIAL INFECTION
218
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,441
FOR WHICH I HOPE ONE DAY
THEY FIND A CURE.
219
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,978
- TELL YOU WHAT...
YOU CAN DRIVE.
220
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,279
- I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE.
221
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:50,417
- HE DOESN'T WANT
TO DRIVE.
222
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,921
- ARE YOU JUST GOING TO SIT HERE
ALL DAY?
223
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,889
ARE YOU?
- I DON'T KNOW.
224
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:58,425
- HE DOESN'T...
225
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:06,867
- WELL, I EXPECT YOU TO BE HERE
WHEN WE GET BACK.
226
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,469
YOU HEAR ME?
227
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,805
COME ON, MOLLY.
228
00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,850
- [sighs]
229
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,492
- AND NOW, BACK TO
OUR FEATURE FILM PRESENTATION,
230
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,896
DIRTY DANCING,
STARRING PATRICK SWAYZE.
231
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,202
- MR. NOVOTNY?
232
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,804
- MIKE.
- MIKE.
233
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,939
I WAS WONDERING IF--
WELL, YOU KNOW THOSE BOXES
234
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,474
YOU WANTED ME TO MOVE?
- MM-HMM.
235
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,777
- I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO SEEM
LIKE I'M SHIRKING OR ANYTHING,
236
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:50,978
BUT THEY'RE KIND OF HEAVY.
237
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,181
DO YOU THINK ONE OF THE GUYS
COULD MAYBE GIVE ME A HAND?
238
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,383
- YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
I CAN GET SOMEBODY TO HELP YOU.
239
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,885
- OH, THAT'D BE GREAT.
240
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,887
OKAY.
I'LL BE OVER ON AISLE 14.
241
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,055
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
242
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:03,957
- YES, YOUR MAJESTY.
243
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,226
SOMEBODY SHOULD TELL HER
PRINCESS DI IS DEAD,
244
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,361
AND THEY'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR A REPLACEMENT.
245
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,863
- THE BOXES ARE HEAVY.
246
00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,299
AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH ASKING FOR HELP.
247
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,301
I--YOU KNOW, I THINK
SHE'S KIND OF SWEET ACTUALLY.
248
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,369
- YOU THINK SHE'S SWEET?
249
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,372
- WELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW HER,
BUT, YEAH.
250
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,375
- WHAT ABOUT CUTE?
251
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,377
- YEAH, SHE'S CUTE.
252
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,446
- WELL, SHE THINKS
YOU'RE CUTE TOO.
253
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,216
- SHE...DOES?
254
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,517
- SHE LIKES YOU A LOT.
255
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,853
BUT SHE DIDN'T KNOW
IF YOU LIKED HER,
256
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,521
SO I SAID I'D FIND OUT.
257
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,990
- SO YOU DON'T REALLY THINK
SHE'S STUCK-UP.
258
00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,458
- OH, SHE'S A DOLL.
259
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:42,529
YOU KNOW, I NEVER HEARD YOU SAY
YOU LIKED A GIRL BEFORE.
260
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,798
- WELL, I--
- IN FACT...
261
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:48,802
I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT GIRLS.
262
00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:51,204
YOU...LIKE GIRLS,
DON'T YOU?
263
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,173
- SURE.
UH...
264
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,243
- SO THEN YOU'LL COME WITH US
AFTER WORK TONIGHT.
265
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,410
WE'RE TAKING HER OUT
FOR A DRINK.
266
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,912
- I DON'T THINK I CAN.
I--
267
00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:02,515
- AH! NO EXCUSES.
SHOELESS JOE'S, 7:30.
268
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:07,420
AND DO SOMETHING
ABOUT YOUR HAIR.
269
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,889
- IT WAS A TRAP.
270
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,825
- HEY, SEE THAT NUMBER
IN THE RED SHORTS?
271
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,394
- I COULD WORK OUT
FOR A HUNDRED YEARS
272
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,096
AND NEVER LOOK LIKE THAT.
273
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,564
- PRETENDING SHE DIDN'T
LIKE HER,
274
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,232
JUST TO SEE WHAT I'D SAY.
275
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,600
- SHAWN PETERS.
276
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,902
WENT HOME WITH HIM
THE OTHER NIGHT,
277
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,303
THINKING HE WAS
THIS BRUTAL TOP.
278
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,272
- AND?
- AND I FELL FOR IT.
279
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,474
- TURNS OUT HE'S A BIG,
NELLY BOTTOM.
280
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,475
[laughter]
281
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,477
- I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT.
282
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,445
- AW, IT'S SO DISCOURAGING.
283
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,914
ARE THERE NO REAL MEN LEFT?
284
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,482
- AND NOW THEY'RE EXPECTING ME
TO MEET THEM.
285
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,484
- STEROID CITY?
- NO, IN THIS STRAIGHT BAR.
286
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,220
IS THERE ANYONE HERE
LISTENING?
287
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,322
- THERE'S THIS NEW GIRL AT WORK
WHO'S INTERESTED IN YOU.
288
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,191
FAT MARLEY TRICKED YOU
INTO MEETING HER
289
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:45,893
AND SOME OF THE OTHERS
FOR A DRINK AFTER WORK,
290
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,095
AND NOW YOU HAVE TO GO,
OR THEY MIGHT SUSPECT.
291
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,296
CHECK OUT MR. PEC-DECK.
292
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,531
SO WHAT...
IF THEY DO?
293
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,100
- THEY COULD FIRE HIM.
294
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,334
- OR I COULD END UP
AN ASSISTANT MANAGER
295
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,936
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
296
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:59,239
- AND THE SOLUTION
IS TO PRETEND YOU LIKE PUSSY?
297
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,142
- AH, LOOK, HE'S NOT LIKE YOU,
OKAY?
298
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,044
- WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
299
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,579
- MEANING HE'S NOT
AN OBVIOUSLY GAY MAN.
300
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,182
- ARE YOU ACCUSING ME
OF BEING OBVIOUS?
301
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:13,887
- IF THE FUCK-ME PUMP FITS.
302
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:17,590
- WELL, I COULD BE A...
A R-REAL MAN, IF I WANTED TO.
303
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,160
YOU KNOW,
JUST LOWER MY VOICE,
304
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,896
STOP...GESTURING
WITH MY HANDS,
305
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:26,099
MAKE SURE MY FACE
IS EXPRESSIONLESS.
306
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,667
NEVER, NEVER USE WORDS LIKE...
307
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,303
LIKE "FABULOUS" OR "DIVINE,"
308
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,505
TALK ABOUT,
I DON'T KNOW,
309
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,308
NAILING BITCHES AND RBIs.
310
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,510
BUT I'D RATHER
MY FLAME BURN BRIGHT
311
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,647
THAN BE SOME PUNY,
LITTLE PILOT LIGHT.
312
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,415
- AND A FABULOUS FLAME
IT IS.
313
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,416
- THANK YOU.
- YEAH.
314
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,553
BUT MICHAEL IS OUT THERE
IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD.
315
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:50,257
BELIEVE ME,
IT ISN'T EASY.
316
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,658
YOU DO
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
317
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,660
- [panting]
318
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,262
I BETTER GO CHANGE.
319
00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,665
- FOR YOUR BIG DATE?
320
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,367
OOH, HERE'S A SPORTS MAG.
321
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,136
BETTER BONE UP.
322
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,404
JUST IN CASE THE CONVERSATION
VEERS AWAY
323
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,374
FROM LIZA'S WEIGHT PROBLEM.
324
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:12,512
- JUSTIN, DID YOU HEAR ME?
325
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,948
I SAID YOU'RE NOT GOING.
- I'M GOING.
326
00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:16,716
- YOU WERE JUST THERE
LAST NIGHT.
327
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,717
- SO WHAT?
328
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,254
- SO I WAS PLANNING TO TAKE YOU
AND YOUR SISTER
329
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,356
OUT FOR PIZZA.
330
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,658
YOU--
[sighs]
331
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,095
YOU KNOW, I EXPECT YOU
TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS.
332
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,396
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU HAVE TO SPEND
333
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,465
ALL YOUR TIME WITH DAPHNE.
334
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,334
OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES
335
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,368
YOUR FATHER AND I
BOUGHT FOR YOU,
336
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,337
YOU HAVE TO PICK SOMETHING
THAT NO LONGER FITS.
337
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,373
THAT IS TOO TIGHT.
338
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,443
- THAT'S WHY.
339
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,046
- JUSTIN?
340
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,348
DON'T I GET
A KISS GOOD-BYE?
341
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,359
I EXPECT YOU TO CALL!
342
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,463
[door opens]
343
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,166
[door closes]
344
00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,212
- WE NEED A SECRET CODE WORD
LIKE "SHAZAM,"
345
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,647
SO THAT IF I GET
IN A TIGHT SPOT,
346
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,449
YOU CAN COME IN
AND RESCUE ME.
347
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:27,420
- A TIGHT SPOT.
HOW ABOUT "BUTT PLUG"?
348
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,555
- "BUTT PLUG" MIGHT BE
A LITTLE HARD
349
00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,190
TO WORK INTO A CONVERSATION.
350
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,191
- BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT YOU ARE,
351
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,226
PRETENDING YOU'RE ONE
OF THEM.
352
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,494
- I COULDN'T HELP IT.
353
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,562
- NO, YOU COULD HAVE
TOLD HER THE TRUTH,
354
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,698
INSTEAD OF ACTING
LIKE A SCARED, LITTLE FAGGOT.
355
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,468
YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID, "I
TAKE IT UP THE ASS, SWEETHEART.
356
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,503
DEAL WITH IT."
- RIGHT. RIGHT.
357
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:48,108
BY THE WAY, I NOTICED YOU GOT
THE JEEP REPAINTED.
358
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,743
[laughter]
- GREAT GAME.
359
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:54,581
[overlapping chatter]
360
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:59,352
- GOD, THIS PLACE
IS LIKE BREEDERS' CENTRAL.
361
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,687
BUTT PLUG, BUTT PLUG,
BUTT PLUG,
362
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,824
BUTT--
363
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,727
- SEE YOU, MIKEY.
364
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,133
- I WANNA WATCH THE END
OF THE GAME.
365
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:17,537
- * EVERYTHING'S
GONNA BE FINE *
366
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,273
* LITTLE DARLIN'
367
00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:24,377
* LITTLE DARLIN' MINE
368
00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,813
* A DAY
OR A LIFETIME *
369
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,817
* IT DON'T MATTER
TO ME *
370
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,519
* AS LONG AS YOU
ARE BY MY SIDE *
371
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,487
- MICHAEL.
MICHAEL!
372
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,723
WHERE YOU BEEN?
WE THOUGHT YOU GOT LOST.
373
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,725
- SOME, UH,
LAST-MINUTE BUSINESS.
374
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,293
- WELL, SLIDE IT ON IN.
375
00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,829
HARV...
MOVE YOUR HAIRY ASS.
376
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:46,699
- [chuckles]
377
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:51,171
- THANKS.
378
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,340
- WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?
- UH...
379
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,441
SAME AS EVERYBODY ELSE.
380
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,109
- GOOD CHOICE.
381
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,577
UH, BRING OVER
ANOTHER PITCHER.
382
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,646
- HI.
383
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,715
- HI.
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
384
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,184
- I TOLD YOU HE'D BE HERE,
DIDN'T I?
385
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,785
NOT TO WORRY?
386
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,420
- I WASN'T WORRIED.
387
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,189
- NOW JUST MAKE SURE
HE'S NOT SEEING ANYONE,
388
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,391
BEFORE YOU GET ALL LOVEY-DOVEY.
[giggles]
389
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,726
- MARLEY, WOULD YOU SHUT UP
AND LEAVE 'EM ALONE?
390
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,762
- [mouths silently]
391
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,730
- YOU'RE NOT SEEING ANYONE,
ARE YOU?
392
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,467
- ME?
393
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,303
NO.
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
394
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,506
I MEAN--
- I UNDERSTAND.
395
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,375
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED
WITH SOMEONE
396
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:32,879
IF THEY'RE INVOLVED ALREADY.
397
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,482
SO ARE YOU?
- SEEING ANYONE?
398
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,783
NO, WE JUST BROKE UP.
399
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,220
- OH. SORRY.
- OH, DON'T BE.
400
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,755
HE WAS A REAL DOOFUS.
- [chuckles]
401
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,757
- ONLY I DIDN'T KNOW IT
AT THE TIME.
402
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,893
THERE'S SO MUCH YOU DON'T KNOW
AT THE TIME.
403
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,329
- ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH?
404
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,930
- LIKE, CAN YOU BELIEVE, HE...
405
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,832
HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO FIX A SINK?
406
00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,168
[laughter]
- REALLY!
407
00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,170
- HE CALLED ME AT WORK SAYING,
"WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
408
00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,639
I SAID,
"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO.
409
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,808
"BUY SOME CEMENT.
GET A CORK.
410
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,311
USE CHEWING GUM.
BUT PLUG IT UP!"
411
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,314
[laughter]
412
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,918
- "BUT PLUG."
[chuckles]
413
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:16,556
BUTT PLUG?
[laughs]
414
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,392
- A MILLION DOLLARS?
415
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,527
- THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA.
416
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,794
- A MILLION
FUCKING DOLLARS?
417
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,896
- BRIAN, PLEASE.
YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY.
418
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,967
- WELL, THE ANSWER'S NO.
DEFINITELY NOT.
419
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,802
- [scoffs] I DON'T UNDERSTAND
THE PROBLEM.
420
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,339
I MEAN, LINDSAY TOLD ME YOU
OFFERED TO HELP SUPPORT HIM.
421
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,973
- IT WAS VERY GENEROUS.
422
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,476
- WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT
THAN A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY.
423
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,412
- IT'S SIMPLY IN CASE
SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU.
424
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,514
- LIKE I'M DECAPITATED
AT A RAILROAD CROSSING?
425
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,384
OR BURNED BEYOND RECOGNITION
IN SOME GAS EXPLOSION?
426
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,520
YOU KNOW, I CAN JUST IMAGINE
THE GRIZZLY DEATHS
427
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,521
YOU'VE CONJURED UP FOR ME.
428
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:52,525
- LIKE IN CASE
YOU GET SICK.
429
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,296
- AH.
EVEN BETTER.
430
00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:57,830
- CONSIDERING YOUR LIFE.
431
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,566
I MEAN, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME
YOU WERE TESTED?
432
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,435
- SIX MONTHS AGO.
I WAS NEGATIVE.
433
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:06,573
- THAT'S 26 WEEKS
AND 182 ONE-NIGHT STANDS.
434
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:07,774
- YOU KNOW,
I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED PEOPLE
435
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,309
WHO COULD MULTIPLY
IN THEIR HEADS.
436
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,844
AND I'M ALWAYS CAREFUL.
437
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,481
- LOOK, THIS ISN'T FOR US.
IT'S FOR OUR SON.
438
00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,616
WE NEED TO MAKE SURE
HE'LL BE PROVIDED FOR.
439
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,984
- AND ALL I HAVE
TO DO IS DIE.
440
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:23,390
- HOPEFULLY NOT BEFORE YOU SIGN
THESE PAPERS.
441
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,858
[laughter]
442
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,527
- WE WON'T BE LAUGHING
COME SUPER BOWL TIME,
443
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,828
WHEN WE'RE UP
AGAINST THE TITANS.
444
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,364
- WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
- DON'T SAY THAT.
445
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,799
- YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE.
RIGHT, MIKE?
446
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:37,604
- LIKE CHER!
447
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,673
- YOU WATCH FOOTBALL?
448
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,675
- CONSTANTLY.
449
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,744
- [chuckles]
SO, UH...
450
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:48,915
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
451
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:53,386
- WHAT DO I THINK?
452
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,823
I THINK...
453
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,825
DUE TO FREE AGENCY, WE'VE LOST
SOME OF OUR BEST PLAYERS.
454
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,760
STILL, OUR DEFENSE IS STRONG,
BUT WE NEED A NEW SCHEME
455
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:04,597
FROM OUR OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR
TO MOVE THE BALL.
456
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,669
- [chuckles]
THAT'S JUST WHAT I SAY.
457
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:13,640
[laughter]
458
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:18,411
[cell phone rings]
459
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,480
- [mimics sportscaster]
HELLO, SPORTS FANS.
460
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,948
- I'M COMING TO GET YOU.
461
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,384
- IT'S OKAY.
I'M HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME.
462
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,852
SHE'S REALLY, REALLY NICE.
463
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,521
- SHE'S REALLY NICE?
464
00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,089
DO YOU THINK SHE AND HER FRIENDS
WOULD BE REALLY NICE
465
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,492
IF THEY KNEW THE LITTLE CHARADE
YOU WERE PLAYING?
466
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:33,826
THEY'D PROBABLY TIE YOU
TO A FENCE
467
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:36,062
AND BASH YOUR BRAINS IN.
468
00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:37,664
- THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT.
469
00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,065
- NOT LIKE THAT, HUH?
470
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,800
LISTEN TO ME, MIKEY.
471
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,102
ARE YOU LISTENING?
- YEAH, I'M LISTENING.
472
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,837
- THERE'S ONLY TWO KINDS
473
00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,739
OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE
IN THIS WORLD--
474
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,808
THE ONES THAT HATE YOU
TO YOUR FACE,
475
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,711
AND THE ONES THAT HATE YOU
BEHIND YOUR BACK.
476
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:54,947
NOW GET THE FUCK
OUT OF THERE...
477
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,917
BECAUSE I NEED YOU.
478
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:00,353
- * AND I NEED YOUR BODY
479
00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:01,888
* LET ME HAVE YOUR BODY
480
00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,122
* OH, I NEED YOUR BODY
481
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,625
- * HOW I WAS GONNA CHANGE,
BUT I'M NOT *
482
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,460
* IF YOU KEEP DOING THINGS
I DON'T *
483
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,095
* YOU BETTER THINK
all: * THINK
484
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,864
- * THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO DO TO ME, YEAH *
485
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,833
* THINK
all: * THINK
486
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,702
- * LET YOUR MIND GO,
LET YOURSELF BE FREE *
487
00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:17,003
- * OH, YEAH
488
00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:21,608
- * YEAH-AH-AH
489
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,843
*
490
00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,412
- HI.
491
00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,046
- OH, SHIT,
JUST WHAT I NEED.
492
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:28,715
WHAT'S HIS NAME.
493
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:30,850
- JUSTIN.
HIS NAME'S JUSTIN.
494
00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:32,719
IF I CAN REMEMBER IT
AND I DIDN'T EVEN FUCK HIM,
495
00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,153
WHY CAN'T YOU?
496
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,823
- BECAUSE I DID.
497
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,162
SO, DAWSON, HOW ARE THINGS DOWN
AT THE CREEK?
498
00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,465
[crowd cheering]
499
00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:48,134
- THANK YOU, PITTSBURGH.
500
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,603
I LOVE YOU.
501
00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:53,906
[cheers and applause]
502
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,074
YOU KNOW,
FOR A SKINNY WHITE BOY,
503
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,610
I MAKE ONE FUCKING FABULOUS
BLACK WOMAN.
504
00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:58,945
- [chuckles]
505
00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,813
HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ROUND
ON ME?
506
00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:03,683
- I GOT A BETTER IDEA.
LET'S MOVE ON.
507
00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,017
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH HERE?
508
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,553
- I'VE HAD EVERYONE HERE.
509
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,421
- OH, YEAH,
MY PROBLEM PRECISELY.
510
00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:10,590
- YOU HAVEN'T HAD ME.
511
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,892
- OH, YEAH?
512
00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:14,961
- WHAT?
Y-YOU NEVER TOLD US.
513
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,664
- THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL.
514
00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,899
- WE WERE UP IN HIS ROOM.
515
00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:23,436
WE WERE 14, 15 TOPS.
- [sighs]
516
00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:24,904
- WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE
STUDYING, WHATEVER,
517
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:26,639
ONLY WE'RE NOT.
518
00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:28,174
WE'RE LOOKING
AT THIS TRASHY PHOTO MAG
519
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,742
HIS MOM SWIPED
FROM THE BEAUTY PARLOR.
520
00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:31,644
ANYWAY...
521
00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:33,680
THERE'S THIS SHOT
OF PATRICK SWAYZE
522
00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:36,082
FROM DIRTY DANCING...
523
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,183
WITHOUT HIS SHIRT ON.
524
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:38,685
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
525
00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:40,853
- SO I GOT THIS HARD-ON
JUST FROM LOOKING AT IT,
526
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:43,956
AND I GLANCE OVER AT MIKEY,
AND GUESS WHAT.
527
00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,925
HE'S GOT ONE TOO.
528
00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:48,160
- OKAY, YOU CAN STOP NOW.
529
00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:50,229
- TWIN STIFFIES.
530
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:53,032
I REACH OVER,
START RUBBING IT.
531
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:56,636
HE'S PRACTICALLY SWOONING.
532
00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:59,772
I POP IT OUT,
START STROKING IT,
533
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,542
NICE AND SLOW.
534
00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:05,678
AND WE'RE BOTH
THIS CLOSE.
535
00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:08,548
THEN...
536
00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:10,717
HIS MOM WALKS IN
WITHOUT KNOCKING.
537
00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:12,151
[laughter]
538
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:14,954
- THEY ALWAYS DO.
DID SHE SEE YOU?
539
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:16,556
- I DON'T SEE
HOW SHE COULD HAVE MISSED IT.
540
00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:20,159
- ONLY WE DIDN'T COME,
SO IT DOESN'T COUNT.
541
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:22,829
- OH, DIRTY DANCING.
542
00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,698
THAT'S A REALLY OLD MOVIE.
- WHAT?
543
00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:27,734
- I SAID
THAT'S A REALLY OLD MOVIE.
544
00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,001
- IT'S NOT THAT OLD.
545
00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:30,737
- HOW OLD ARE YOU?
546
00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:33,840
- UH-OH.
547
00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:38,044
- HOW OLD
DO YOU THINK I AM?
548
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,746
- 33?
[laughter]
549
00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:42,549
- FUCK...YOU.
550
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,517
- HE'S 29.
- AND FUCK YOU TOO.
551
00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:46,252
WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM FOR?
- FAIR'S FAIR.
552
00:24:46,285 --> 00:24:48,521
- WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
IN A FEW MONTHS,
553
00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:49,756
YOU'LL BE 30.
554
00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:51,223
MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD.
555
00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:54,126
- HMM, WELL...
556
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,862
YOU OUGHT TO KNOW.
557
00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,229
YOU ALREADY ARE.
558
00:24:57,263 --> 00:25:00,600
- OH, HO, HO, HO.
559
00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:04,203
- OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
COME BACK HERE.
560
00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:06,573
YOU'RE NOT STICKING US
WITH THAT KID.
561
00:25:06,606 --> 00:25:09,008
HE'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
NOW GET BACK IN THERE.
562
00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:10,743
- YOU KNOW,
I'M GETTING A LITTLE SICK
563
00:25:10,777 --> 00:25:13,145
OF PEOPLE TELLING ME
WHAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY.
564
00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,981
IF LINDSAY AND MELANIE WANT
TO GO OFF AND HAVE A KID,
565
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,616
THAT'S THEIR RESPONSIBILITY.
566
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:19,051
IF WHAT'S HIS NAME, JUSTIN,
WANTS TO GO OUT
567
00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:20,687
AND PICK UP GUYS
WHILE HE'S STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL,
568
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:21,788
THAT'S HIS RESPONSIBILITY.
569
00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:24,757
MY RESPONSIBILITY
IS TO MYSELF.
570
00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,092
I DON'T OWE ANYBODY
A GODDAMN THING.
571
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,696
- CALM DOWN.
572
00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:39,806
IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
573
00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,776
- AND WHERE DO PEOPLE
GET OFF THINKING
574
00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:47,279
I'M NOT A KIND PERSON?
575
00:25:47,313 --> 00:25:49,215
- WHO SAID THAT?
576
00:25:49,248 --> 00:25:53,753
- TED, FOR EXAMPLE,
THINKS I'M A HEARTLESS SHIT.
577
00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:56,022
- IT'S YOUR APPEAL.
578
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,924
PLUS, HE'S JUST JEALOUS
579
00:25:57,957 --> 00:26:00,893
AND LONELY AND...
580
00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:06,132
- I HAPPEN TO BE VERY KIND.
581
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:08,735
VERY LOVING.
582
00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:16,108
HEY, ZACK,
HOW'S IT GOING?
583
00:26:16,142 --> 00:26:17,744
- NOT BAD.
584
00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,011
- HOW'S PETER?
585
00:26:19,045 --> 00:26:24,083
- STILL DEAD.
586
00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:28,387
- OH, SHIT.
I FORGOT.
587
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,822
- WELL, IF ANYONE
HAS ANY DOUBTS
588
00:26:29,856 --> 00:26:32,959
ABOUT HOW KIND AND LOVING
YOU ARE...
589
00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:36,228
THAT SHOULD CONVINCE THEM.
590
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:41,801
[engine revs]
591
00:26:41,834 --> 00:26:43,870
- ANYONE UP FOR BABYLON?
592
00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:45,972
- I WAS THINKING BOYTOY.
593
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:49,075
YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T BEEN SNUBBED
BY A TWINKIE IN WEEKS.
594
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:51,243
- WHAT ABOUT HIM?
595
00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:52,945
- WHAT ABOUT HIM?
596
00:26:52,979 --> 00:26:55,715
- WELL, WE CAN'T JUST
LEAVE HIM HERE.
597
00:26:55,748 --> 00:26:57,750
- IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM.
- HE'S MINE?
598
00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,686
- NO, BRIAN'S YOUR PROBLEM.
599
00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:01,721
- LET HIM CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS
FOR A CHANGE.
600
00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:05,191
- DON'T WASTE YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT
BABY-SITTING.
601
00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:15,001
[upbeat dance music]
602
00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:18,004
- * OH, YEAH YEAH YEAH
603
00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,405
*
604
00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:22,208
* UH-HUH, UH-HUH
605
00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:24,977
- I CAME ALL THE WAY HERE
JUST TO SEE HIM.
606
00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:27,113
HE DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH ME.
607
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:31,818
- YEAH, WELL, THE THING YOU
GOT TO KNOW ABOUT BRIAN IS...
608
00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:33,419
HE'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.
609
00:27:33,452 --> 00:27:36,355
BRIAN DOESN'T DO BOYFRIENDS.
610
00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:39,692
- YEAH, WELL, YOU WEREN'T THERE
WHEN WE WERE DOING IT.
611
00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:42,394
YOU DON'T KNOW
THE THINGS WE DID,
612
00:27:42,428 --> 00:27:45,297
HOW HE KISSED ME.
613
00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:47,466
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
614
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,201
- I KNOW THIS.
615
00:27:49,235 --> 00:27:50,970
BRIAN IS A SELFISH PRICK
616
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,039
WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE
BUT HIMSELF.
617
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:58,077
AND IF I WERE YOU,
I'D JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM.
618
00:27:58,110 --> 00:28:00,780
- HIYA, BOYS.
GETTIN' ANY TONIGHT?
619
00:28:00,813 --> 00:28:02,181
[chuckles]
620
00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:03,482
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
AROUND HERE BEFORE.
621
00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,052
- HE'S NEW.
- AND CUTE.
622
00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:08,220
EVERY GUY IN THE PLACE HAS HIS
EYE ON YOU TONIGHT, SWEETHEART.
623
00:28:08,254 --> 00:28:09,488
- CAN WE ORDER?
624
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,023
- SHOOT.
625
00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:12,324
BUT IT'LL BE
THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT,
626
00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,926
AM I RIGHT?
[chuckles]
627
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:14,961
- HA-HA!
628
00:28:14,994 --> 00:28:16,796
I'LL HAVE
THE CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK.
629
00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:18,731
NO REMARKS.
630
00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:20,466
AND, UH, HE'LL HAVE
A BACON CHEESEBURGER.
631
00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:22,869
- "PLEASE."
- PLEASE.
632
00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,904
- YOU GOTTA KEEP
YOUR STRENGTH UP, SUNSHINE.
633
00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:26,806
YOU CAN'T CRUISE ALL NIGHT
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.
634
00:28:26,839 --> 00:28:30,176
[chuckles]
635
00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:34,013
- WHAT A FREAK!
636
00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,748
- YEAH, SHE TAKES
SOME GETTING USED TO,
637
00:28:35,782 --> 00:28:38,350
BUT ONCE YOU DO,
CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE HER.
638
00:28:38,384 --> 00:28:40,319
- ONE CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK
WITH NO REMARKS,
639
00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:41,788
COMING UP IN A FLASH.
640
00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,890
- THANKS, MOM.
641
00:28:43,923 --> 00:28:46,826
- YOU'RE WELCOME, BABY.
642
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:48,160
- I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.
643
00:28:48,194 --> 00:28:51,197
GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
644
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,265
- [chuckles]
645
00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:01,974
YOU'RE, LIKE, SO LUCKY.
- I AM?
646
00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:04,143
- YOUR MOM'S COOL
ABOUT YOUR BEING GAY.
647
00:29:04,176 --> 00:29:06,045
IF MINE FOUND OUT,
SHE'D KILL ME.
648
00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:07,847
- AT LEAST IT GIVES HER
A SENSE OF PURPOSE.
649
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,081
I MEAN, WITHOUT ME,
SHE'D BE PLAYING BINGO
650
00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:11,250
INSTEAD OF ORGANIZING
PRIDE MARCHES AND...
651
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:12,985
HANDING OUT CONDOMS.
652
00:29:13,019 --> 00:29:14,053
DO YOU NEED A RIDE?
653
00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:15,988
- UH, I BORROWED
A FRIEND'S CAR.
654
00:29:16,022 --> 00:29:18,057
- OH, YOU DON'T HAVE
A LITTLE BEEMER OF YOUR OWN?
655
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,992
- I'M WORKING ON IT.
656
00:29:20,026 --> 00:29:22,061
- JUST REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU
ABOUT BRIAN.
657
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,529
- IF HE'S
SUCH A SELFISH PRICK,
658
00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:25,464
HOW COME YOU'RE ALWAYS
FOLLOWING HIM AROUND?
659
00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:27,399
- I'M NOT ALWAYS
FOLLOWING HIM AROUND.
660
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,568
WE'RE BEST FRIENDS.
661
00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,270
WE ACCEPT EACH OTHER
FOR WHO WE ARE,
662
00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,339
NO JUDGMENTS,
NO OBLIGATIONS,
663
00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,507
NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
664
00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:38,477
- YOU'RE JUST WAITING FOR HIM
TO FINISH JERKING YOU OFF.
665
00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,280
- WHAT?
- YOU NEVER GOT OFF.
666
00:29:41,313 --> 00:29:43,515
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE STILL HANGING
AROUND AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
667
00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:48,154
- GO ON, CHICKEN.
BACK TO YOUR COOP.
668
00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:49,221
AND DON'T GO LOOKING
FOR HIM.
669
00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:53,359
IT'LL JUST
MAKE THINGS WORSE.
670
00:29:53,392 --> 00:29:56,062
- READY, SWEETIE?
671
00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:03,502
DID HE TAKE OFF?
672
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,237
JUST AS WELL.
673
00:30:05,271 --> 00:30:10,242
HE WAS A LITTLE TOO YOUNG
FOR YOU.
674
00:30:10,276 --> 00:30:14,046
[chuckles]
675
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,016
- SHOULD I INVITE
MY COUSIN RITA?
676
00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:19,085
- WHICH ONE'S SHE?
- YOU KNOW.
677
00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:21,053
THE ONE
WITH THE, UH, OVERBITE
678
00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:22,188
WHO NEVER APPROVED OF US?
679
00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:23,956
- OH, HER.
680
00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:26,192
MIGHT AS WELL.
SHE PROBABLY WON'T COME ANYWAY.
681
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:29,328
OH, THAT'S MY GOOD BOY.
682
00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:30,897
- YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
683
00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:32,231
I USED TO SEE THESE WOMEN
FEEDING THEIR KIDS,
684
00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:34,333
AND I'D THINK,
"UGH, WHAT A TURN-OFF."
685
00:30:34,366 --> 00:30:37,603
BUT WATCHING YOU...
686
00:30:37,636 --> 00:30:40,239
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
687
00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:43,375
- YOU CAN'T BELIEVE
HOW CONNECTED YOU FEEL.
688
00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:46,345
[baby coos]
689
00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:59,391
GOOD NIGHT, SWEETIE.
690
00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:02,194
NEXT TIME,
WE'LL FEED HIM TOGETHER.
691
00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:06,232
YOU CAN GIVE HIM
MY BREAST.
692
00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:09,235
- IT'S SO FULL.
693
00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:41,400
I GUESS THAT'S ALL WE CAN DO
FOR NOW.
694
00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:43,936
OH, 34 GUESTS.
THAT'S A LOT.
695
00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:45,371
- NOT EVERYONE WILL SHOW.
696
00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:48,040
- WELL, LET'S HOPE ONE
IN PARTICULAR DOESN'T.
697
00:31:56,448 --> 00:31:57,716
- I HOPE WE WEREN'T
TOO HARD ON HIM.
698
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,685
- WHO? BRIAN?
699
00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:02,154
- ALL THAT TALK
ABOUT THE INSURANCE.
700
00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:03,422
IT ALMOST SOUNDED LIKE
WE WERE HOPING
701
00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:04,656
SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN
TO HIM.
702
00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:06,458
- WE'RE JUST BEING PRACTICAL.
703
00:32:06,492 --> 00:32:08,494
I MEAN, HE'S THE FATHER,
ISN'T HE?
704
00:32:08,527 --> 00:32:11,297
IT ONLY MAKES SENSE THAT HIS SON
SHOULD BE HIS BENEFICIARY.
705
00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:13,632
[typing]
706
00:32:19,005 --> 00:32:20,973
- I'M JUST SAYING
MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE WAITED
707
00:32:21,007 --> 00:32:23,042
UNTIL HE WAS
OVER THE INITIAL SHOCK.
708
00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:24,243
- [scoffs]
709
00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,213
WHAT SHOCK?
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE BIRTH.
710
00:32:27,246 --> 00:32:29,081
ALL HE DID WAS SHOW UP
WITH HIS LATEST TRICK.
711
00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:31,517
- AT LEAST HE SHOWED UP.
- [scoffs] CHRIST.
712
00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,319
IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
- WHAT?
713
00:32:33,352 --> 00:32:35,054
- THE WAY YOU PUT UP
WITH HIS SHIT.
714
00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:36,322
[baby fussing]
- SHH.
715
00:32:36,355 --> 00:32:37,723
I DON'T PUT UP WITH IT.
- LIKE HELL.
716
00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:39,458
- I UNDERSTAND IT.
717
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,227
HIM.
- WHAT?
718
00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:43,162
THAT HE'S A BIGGER INFANT
THAN HIS SON?
719
00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,097
- THAT HE DOES EXACTLY
WHAT HE WANTS.
720
00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,199
NO EXCUSES,
NO APOLOGIES.
721
00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:48,467
I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED HIM
FOR THAT.
722
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,402
- WELL, THEN YOU
CAN PUT UP WITH IT.
723
00:32:50,436 --> 00:32:52,071
I DON'T HAVE TO.
724
00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:54,173
- COME ON, LET'S GO BACK
TO SLEEP...
725
00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:56,642
FOR AN HOUR.
726
00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:07,619
- YES.
727
00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:11,423
- SO YOU GOING OUT CRUISING
AFTER YOU DROP ME OFF?
728
00:33:11,457 --> 00:33:14,393
- NO, I'VE BEEN INVITED
TO AN ALL-NIGHT ORGY.
729
00:33:14,426 --> 00:33:15,394
- WHOO!
730
00:33:15,427 --> 00:33:17,429
SOUNDS HOT.
[chuckles]
731
00:33:17,463 --> 00:33:20,666
- AND IF YOU MUST KNOW, I AM
GOING BACK TO MY GAY APARTMENT,
732
00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:22,434
TAKING OFF MY GAY CLOTHES,
733
00:33:22,468 --> 00:33:25,637
AND GETTING
INTO MY GAY BED.
734
00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,639
- YOU'RE IN A MOOD.
735
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:31,110
- IT'S GODDAMN BRIAN.
736
00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:34,646
- WHAT DID HE DO THIS TIME?
737
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,116
- NEVER MIND.
738
00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:42,188
- I WISH YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM
GET TO YOU.
739
00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:45,557
BUT HE ALWAYS DOES.
740
00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:49,495
THAT'S WHY I KEEP HOPING
THAT YOU'LL MEET SOMEBODY.
741
00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:01,173
WHY ARE
ALL THE LIGHTS ON?
742
00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:04,076
SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG
WITH VIC.
743
00:34:04,110 --> 00:34:05,711
VIC!
744
00:34:05,744 --> 00:34:09,415
BABY?
745
00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:10,649
IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
746
00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:12,784
- JUST COULDN'T SLEEP.
747
00:34:12,818 --> 00:34:15,187
HEY, MIKEY.
- UNCLE VIC.
748
00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:16,488
- ARE YOU IN PAIN?
749
00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:18,290
- YEAH.
750
00:34:18,324 --> 00:34:20,759
- WHERE? TELL ME.
- MY WALLET.
751
00:34:24,696 --> 00:34:27,699
- HOLY SHIT!
- WHAT IS IT?
752
00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:30,436
- IT'S THE MASTERCARD BILL
FROM OUR...OUR TRIP TO ITALY.
753
00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:32,704
- FIRST-CLASS AIRLINE TICKETS,
754
00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:34,706
THE EXCELSIOR IN ROME,
755
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:38,410
THE DIAMOND AND CORAL EARRINGS
I BOUGHT YOU IN CAPRI.
756
00:34:38,444 --> 00:34:40,579
THEY'RE ALL HERE.
757
00:34:40,612 --> 00:34:42,681
THE PROBLEM IS,
SO AM I.
758
00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:45,584
- DON'T SAY THAT.
759
00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:47,419
IT'S A MIRACLE
YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.
760
00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:51,123
- IT'S A MIRACLE HOW I'M GONNA
PAY FOR ALL OF THIS.
761
00:34:51,157 --> 00:34:53,459
- HUSTLE?
- WHA--
762
00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:59,231
[laughter]
763
00:35:06,238 --> 00:35:09,408
[laughter continues]
764
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:12,411
[Minimal Peach by Greek Buck]
765
00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:17,749
*
766
00:35:17,783 --> 00:35:23,655
- * IT'S YOU, YOU,
YOU AGAIN *
767
00:35:23,689 --> 00:35:28,860
* CREAMY CRUSH
WITH THE SUN COMING UP *
768
00:35:28,894 --> 00:35:30,762
* GLANCE, LOOK, STARE
769
00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:33,765
* STAKE IN MY HEART,
OH-HO-HO *
770
00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:38,837
* IT BEATS SO FAST,
SO FAST IT STOPS *
771
00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:42,474
* I THINK WE JAM LIKE JELL
772
00:35:42,508 --> 00:35:45,644
* JELLY BABY
773
00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:48,914
*
774
00:35:48,947 --> 00:35:52,951
* COME ON,
MAKE IT HAPPEN *
775
00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:56,522
* PEACH MALIBU
776
00:35:56,555 --> 00:36:03,262
*
777
00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:06,198
* PEACH MALIBU
778
00:36:06,232 --> 00:36:08,834
*
779
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:13,405
- PATRICK SWAYZE
IS SO HOT.
780
00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:18,410
- * PEACH MALIBU
781
00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:19,678
*
782
00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:23,549
* EMPTY YOUR VESSEL
FOR ME *
783
00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:27,653
* 'CAUSE WE TRAVEL TOGETHER
ON BUS 43 *
784
00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:29,621
- I GUESS I'LL HAVE
TO TAKE CARE OF THAT.
785
00:36:29,655 --> 00:36:33,459
- * EMPTY YOUR VESSEL
FOR ME *
786
00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:34,826
* 'CAUSE WE TRAVEL
787
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:38,764
- PATRICK SWAYZE
IS SO HOT.
788
00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:44,836
- I'VE SEEN DIRTY DANCING,
LIKE, FIVE TIMES.
789
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,705
- WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE
TO FUCK HIM.
790
00:36:46,738 --> 00:36:49,275
- DON'T SAY THAT, BRIAN.
791
00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:52,578
- YOU'RE SO PATHETIC.
792
00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:55,681
FIRST I'D UNZIP HIS FLY...
793
00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:59,485
THEN I'D PULL OUT
HIS KING-SIZED BONER...
794
00:36:59,518 --> 00:37:03,355
PLAY WITH IT,
REAL SLOW.
795
00:37:03,389 --> 00:37:05,424
- OH, YEAH?
796
00:37:05,457 --> 00:37:08,327
- HEY, MIKEY...
797
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,761
YOU HAVE A WOODIE.
798
00:37:09,795 --> 00:37:14,500
- I DO NOT.
- YOU DO TOO.
799
00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:17,469
WE'LL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT.
800
00:37:17,503 --> 00:37:22,974
*
801
00:37:23,008 --> 00:37:24,876
- * GLANCE, LOOK, STARE
802
00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:27,779
* STAKE IN MY HEART,
OH-HO-HO *
803
00:37:27,813 --> 00:37:29,615
* IT BEATS SO FAST
804
00:37:29,648 --> 00:37:30,716
* SO FAST IT STOPS
805
00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:34,420
- HI, BABE.
- MA! CAN'T YOU KNOCK?
806
00:37:34,453 --> 00:37:36,021
- I FORGOT TO TELL YOU
WE'RE HAVING A YARD SALE,
807
00:37:36,054 --> 00:37:38,924
SO IF YOU WANT TO THROW
ANYTHING OUT--
808
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:40,926
OH, DON'T TELL ME YOU STILL
HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM.
809
00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:49,000
[groovy music]
810
00:37:49,034 --> 00:37:56,975
*
811
00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:01,647
- I'D FUCK YOU.
812
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,615
[door buzzer]
813
00:38:03,649 --> 00:38:08,520
*
814
00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:12,958
TOP FLOOR.
COME ON UP.
815
00:38:12,991 --> 00:38:14,860
CHRIST!
WHAT ARE YOU...
816
00:38:14,893 --> 00:38:16,695
- I'M SORRY.
I-I DON'T WANT TO--
817
00:38:16,728 --> 00:38:18,597
- YOU CAN'T JUST DROP BY
UNANNOUNCED.
818
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,731
- I JUST WANT TO TALK.
819
00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:21,433
- THERE'S NOTHING
TO TALK ABOUT.
820
00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:22,934
- PLEASE?
I WON'T STAY LONG.
821
00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:25,737
I-I'LL JUST--CAN I?
- NO.
822
00:38:25,771 --> 00:38:29,608
OH, SHIT.
823
00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:35,581
*
824
00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:38,917
- THE DOOR WAS ABOUT TO SHUT,
SO I...SLIPPED IN.
825
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:46,091
*
826
00:38:46,124 --> 00:38:49,094
PENTHOUSE.
NOT BAD.
827
00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:51,430
WHO'S THIS?
- NO ONE.
828
00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:52,698
- I HAVE TO SEE YOU.
829
00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:54,433
- I'M BUSY.
830
00:38:54,466 --> 00:38:57,803
- I DON'T MIND A THREESOME,
ALTHOUGH HE'S KIND OF YOUNG.
831
00:38:57,836 --> 00:38:59,571
- HE'S ALSO KIND OF LEAVING.
- WHO'S HE?
832
00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:02,007
- FORGIVE ME
FOR NOT INTRODUCING YOU.
833
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,776
JUSTIN, THIS IS MR. GOODFUK.
834
00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:06,978
MR. GOODFUK,
MAY I PRESENT JUSTIN.
835
00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,514
- THE NAME IS GEORGE.
836
00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:12,083
- SORRY.
GEORGE GOODFUK.
837
00:39:12,117 --> 00:39:14,152
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.
838
00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,821
- WELL, I WAS HOPING
TO GET TO.
839
00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:18,957
NOW WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SCAMPER ON HOME?
840
00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:23,862
HE'S MY STALKER.
841
00:39:23,895 --> 00:39:26,432
- THAT WASN'T VERY KIND...
842
00:39:26,465 --> 00:39:28,767
SENDING HIM OFF,
A KID THAT AGE,
843
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,603
BY HIMSELF
AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT.
844
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:36,875
- WHO ARE YOU?
FATHER GOODFUK?
845
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:39,945
OH, ALL RIGHT.
846
00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:43,615
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.
847
00:39:43,649 --> 00:39:46,652
AND DON'T...STEAL ANYTHING.
848
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,623
HEY. HEY!
849
00:39:51,657 --> 00:39:54,526
I JUST LEFT A COMPLETE STRANGER
ALONE IN MY APARTMENT
850
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,761
TO COME TALK TO YOU,
851
00:39:55,794 --> 00:40:00,599
SO DON'T RUN AWAY
FROM ME.
852
00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,100
WE NEED TO GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT.
853
00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,169
- YOU DON'T DO BOYFRIENDS.
- OH.
854
00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:06,905
MIKEY'S BEEN TALKING TO YOU.
855
00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:08,640
- YOU'LL FUCK ANYONE.
856
00:40:08,674 --> 00:40:11,142
HE'S UGLY.
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM.
857
00:40:11,176 --> 00:40:15,046
AND I...I REALLY--
- JUSTIN.
858
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:19,518
I'VE HAD YOU.
859
00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:22,921
WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT...
IT WAS FOR FUN.
860
00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:26,458
YOU WANTED ME,
AND I WANTED YOU.
861
00:40:26,492 --> 00:40:28,660
THAT'S ALL IT WAS.
862
00:40:28,694 --> 00:40:31,697
- A FUCK?
863
00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:36,735
- WELL, WHAT DID YOU
THINK IT WAS?
864
00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:40,939
LOOK, I DON'T BELIEVE
IN LOVE.
865
00:40:40,972 --> 00:40:43,775
I BELIEVE IN FUCKING.
866
00:40:43,809 --> 00:40:45,811
IT'S HONEST.
IT'S EFFICIENT.
867
00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:48,246
YOU GET IN AND OUT
WITH A MAXIMUM OF PLEASURE
868
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:51,483
AND A MINIMUM
OF BULLSHIT.
869
00:40:51,517 --> 00:40:53,519
LOVE IS SOMETHING
THAT STRAIGHT PEOPLE
870
00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:56,054
TELL THEMSELVES THEY'RE IN,
SO THEY CAN GET LAID,
871
00:40:56,087 --> 00:40:57,656
AND THEN THEY END UP HURTING
EACH OTHER
872
00:40:57,689 --> 00:41:01,059
BECAUSE IT WAS ALL BASED
ON LIES TO BEGIN WITH.
873
00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:02,961
- [sniffling]
874
00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:04,663
- IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT,
875
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:09,167
THEN GO AND FIND YOURSELF
A PRETTY, LITTLE GIRL...
876
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,703
AND GET MARRIED.
877
00:41:11,737 --> 00:41:14,806
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT.
878
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,708
I WANT YOU.
879
00:41:16,742 --> 00:41:21,980
- YOU CAN'T HAVE ME.
I'M TOO O--
880
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:23,715
YOU'RE TOO YOUNG FOR ME.
881
00:41:23,749 --> 00:41:25,150
YOU'RE 17.
I'M 28.
882
00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:28,620
- YOU'RE 29.
883
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:32,591
- ALL RIGHT.
29.
884
00:41:32,624 --> 00:41:36,862
ALL THE MORE REASON.
885
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:39,731
NOW GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
886
00:41:39,765 --> 00:41:45,704
- * IF I COULD
LAY ME DOWN NOW *
887
00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:49,641
* IF I COULD PRAY
AND SLEEP *
888
00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:51,610
[engine turns over]
889
00:41:51,643 --> 00:41:57,616
* THE NIGHT NEVER ENDING
890
00:41:57,649 --> 00:42:03,689
* MY WEARY SOUL TO KEEP
891
00:42:03,722 --> 00:42:07,025
* IF I COULD
LAY ME DOWN NOW *
892
00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:10,028
*
893
00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:13,064
* IN A DREAM ASLEEP
894
00:42:16,602 --> 00:42:18,236
- * LET'S GET SOAKIN' WET
895
00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:21,239
[Dive in the Pool
by Barry Harris]
896
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:29,214
*
897
00:44:03,775 --> 00:44:05,877
* COME ON
898
00:44:05,911 --> 00:44:09,748
*
899
00:44:09,781 --> 00:44:13,785
* I WANNA HEAR IT
900
00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:15,921
* LET'S GET SOAKIN' WET
61790
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