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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,279 - * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR 2 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:13,314 * ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX * 3 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:14,582 * SHAKE IT, DUDE 4 00:00:14,615 --> 00:00:22,556 * 5 00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,797 * ONE, TWO, DO IT * 6 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,200 * 7 00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:33,401 * ONE, TWO, THREE 8 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,137 - * FOUR, FOUR 9 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,506 * 10 00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:44,545 - BRIAN KINNEY, A FATHER? 11 00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,280 - IT'S TRUE. I WAS THERE. 12 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:48,282 I SAW IT HAPPEN WITH MY OWN EYES. 13 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,618 - TALK ABOUT CONCEIVING THE INCONCEIVABLE. 14 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,086 OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND? 15 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,122 - WOULD YOU GIVE THE GUY A BREAK? 16 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,257 - COULDN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN MY DADDY WAS. 17 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,791 - OR MINE, NOT THAT I REMEMBER HIM. 18 00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,828 - SO WHAT'S NEXT? PTA PARENT? 19 00:01:00,861 --> 00:01:03,431 LITTLE LEAGUE COACH? SCOUTMASTER? 20 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,499 - THEY DON'T ALLOW QUEERS IN THE SCOUTS. 21 00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,635 THEY'RE AFRAID WE'LL INDUCT NEW RECRUITS. 22 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,305 - I ONLY GO OUT WITH MEN WHO ALREADY ENLISTED. 23 00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,441 SO, UH, WHO'S HE LOOK LIKE? 24 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:17,178 - WELL, HE'S GOT BRIAN'S EYES AND MOUTH AND... 25 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,779 LINDSAY'S NOSE. 26 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,848 - WELL, IF HE'S GOT MELANIE'S DICK, WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE. 27 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,450 - [chuckles] 28 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,452 - YOU SHOULD SEE THE PICTURES I TOOK. 29 00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,187 HE'S SO ADORABLE. 30 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,489 IN ONE OF THEM, HE'S ACTUALLY PLAYING WITH HIMSELF. 31 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,359 - WHO, BRIAN? - NO, THE BABY. 32 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,361 CAN YOU IMAGINE, HE'S ONLY BEEN IN THE WORLD ABOUT AN HOUR, 33 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,763 AND ALREADY HE'S PULLING HIS PUD? 34 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,598 - EXCUSE ME. - YEAH? 35 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,767 - CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE MEN'S JOCKEY SHORTS ARE? 36 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,603 - AISLE FOUR. 37 00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,639 - THANKS. - SURE. 38 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,641 - WELL, THAT PROVES THE THEORY. 39 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:50,344 WE'VE ALL GOT DICK ON THE BRAIN FROM WOMB TO TOMB. 40 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,246 - SPEAK FOR YOURSELF. 41 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,614 - I AM. 42 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,882 YEAH, GO FOR IT. 43 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,151 - ARE YOU WATCHING THAT FILTHY WEBSITE AGAIN? 44 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,753 - YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GUY. HE MUST BE AT LEAST 10 INCHES. 45 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,190 - TED? TED! 46 00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:03,857 - UH, CAN I PUT YOU ON HOLD ONE MOMENT, PLEASE? 47 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,826 YES, MR. WERTSHAFTER? 48 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,461 - HAVE YOU FINISHED GOING OVER THE GROPNIK RETURNS? 49 00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:11,465 - OH, YES, SIR. I JUST PRINTED THEM OUT. 50 00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,467 THERE YOU ARE. FEDERAL AND STATE. 51 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,902 - THANKS. 52 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:18,372 - YOU'RE WELCOME... MR. WERTSHAFTER. 53 00:02:18,406 --> 00:02:19,373 - AS A CORPORATION, 54 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:23,544 HE HAS TO START DOING A MONTHLY DECLARATION... 55 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:26,914 - SORRY. THE BOSS. - SHIT! YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL. 56 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,382 - THE LAST THING YOU NEED IS FOR HIM 57 00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:30,618 TO CATCH YOU ON CUMQUICK.COM. 58 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,753 - OH, PLEASE, THAT GUY'S SO BLIND, HE'S YET TO FIGURE OUT 59 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,688 HIS WIFE'S BEEN BOINKING HIS BUSINESS PARTNER 60 00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,624 FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS. HOW DO YOU THINK 61 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,925 HE'S GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT ME? 62 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:38,926 I'LL CATCH YOU LATER. 63 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:42,530 - LATER. - LATER. 64 00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:44,765 REMEMBER THAT STORY WE ALL READ IN HIGH SCHOOL, 65 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:47,701 YOU KNOW THE ONE ABOUT THE PRISONERS CHAINED IN THE CAVE? 66 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,703 PLATO, OR WHOEVER. 67 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,839 ALL THEY COULD SEE WERE SHADOWS ON A WALL, 68 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,476 SO AFTER A WHILE, THEY STARTED THINKING THAT WAS REALITY. 69 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,611 WELL, IN A WAY, THAT'S WHAT TED'S LIKE. 70 00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,213 IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE HE'S HAD SEX 71 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,548 WITH SOMEONE HE DIDN'T DOWNLOAD, 72 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,283 HE'S FORGOTTEN THAT ALL THOSE PERFECT BODIES 73 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,685 AND PERFECT FACES AREN'T REAL. 74 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,788 THAT NO ONE'S REALLY THERE. THAT THEY'RE ONLY... 75 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,291 SHADOWS. 76 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,427 THEN AGAIN, WHO EVER GOT ANAL WARTS IN A CHAT ROOM? 77 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,737 - MICHAEL. 78 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,306 [mouths silently] 79 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:29,310 - [chuckles] 80 00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:32,346 [clatter] 81 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,355 - THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OUR BEER AND THEIR BEER 82 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:45,559 IS THAT OUR BEER SAYS, "SEX." 83 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:50,864 NOT CLYDESDALES. 84 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,867 IF YOU WANT TO BE COOL, IF YOU WANT TO BE POPULAR, 85 00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:58,806 IF YOU WANT TO GET LAID... 86 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,008 THIS IS WHAT YOU DRINK. 87 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,977 - UH, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MODEL? 88 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:08,882 ARE YOU SURE HE ISN'T TOO, UM... 89 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,852 - GAY? 90 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,387 LADIES? 91 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,988 - I WOULDN'T CARE IF HE WAS. 92 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,824 I'D GO TO BED WITH HIM ANYWAY. 93 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,792 - [giggles] 94 00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:22,396 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 95 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,398 - I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 96 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:27,568 [Freefall by Tom Third] 97 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:35,543 * 98 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:52,793 - * THAT'S RIGHT 99 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:57,665 * 100 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:02,035 - HUT. HUT. [grunting] 101 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,405 [overlapping shouting] 102 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,641 - GET HIM DOWN. THAT'S IT. COME ON. 103 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,509 MOVE! MOVE! 104 00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,578 YOU GUYS SHOW SOME HUSTLE OUT THERE. 105 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,080 LET'S GO! 106 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,416 - GUESS WHAT I WAS DOING LAST NIGHT. 107 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,650 - SLEEPING, SAME AS ME? 108 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:20,120 - HAVING SEX, ALL NIGHT, 109 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,423 WITH THAT GUY I MET, BRIAN KINNEY. 110 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:26,960 WE DID IT TILL 6:00 IN THE MORNING. 111 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,931 WELL? AREN'T YOU SHOCKED? 112 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,534 - NOT REALLY. 113 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:36,704 - OH. 114 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:41,074 - WELL, I KINDA FIGURED THAT YOU'RE... 115 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,843 YOU KNOW. 116 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,778 EVEN THOUGH YOU NEVER TOLD ME. 117 00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,581 - I'M TELLING YOU NOW. 118 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:50,451 - [sighs] 119 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,852 WANT SOME OF MY VEGGIE WRAP? 120 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,855 - HUT, HUT! GO, MAN, RUN, RUN! 121 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,157 - SO WHAT WAS IT LIKE? 122 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,027 - WELL, I STARTED OUT AS A TIGHT END 123 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,762 BUT WOUND UP A WIDE RECEIVER. 124 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:02,763 - [giggles] 125 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,965 - BALL! - BALL! 126 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,800 - COME ON, WHERE'S YOUR ARM? 127 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,469 COME ON! - THANKS. 128 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,970 - FOCUS, YOU GUYS. 129 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:10,771 - THANK YOU. 130 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,540 - GOOD TO MEET YOU. - THANK YOU. 131 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,876 - NEXT TIME. - THANKS. 132 00:06:18,646 --> 00:06:21,014 - UH, HE'S... * MARRIED 133 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,149 - UH-HUH. 134 00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,751 - WITH TWO CHILDREN. 135 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,419 - AH, A FAMILY MAN. 136 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,920 - [gasps] 137 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,622 - EXCUSE ME. 138 00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,524 COULD YOU, UH, TELL ME WHERE THE MEN'S ROOM IS? 139 00:06:30,558 --> 00:06:32,860 - YEAH, IT'S JUST DOWN THE HALL AND TO THE LEFT. 140 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:37,130 - THANKS. 141 00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:41,469 - THAT'S A LONG TRIP. - [scoffs] 142 00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,736 - HE MIGHT GET LOST. 143 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,906 - I'M SURE YOU'LL SHOW HIM THE WAY. 144 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:49,777 - THERE I WAS ON MY BACK. 145 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,179 AND THERE HE WAS ON TOP OF ME, SLIPPING IT IN. 146 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:55,783 - HMM, THAT MUST HAVE HURT. DIDN'T IT HURT? 147 00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:57,485 - YEAH, AT FIRST, IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE 148 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:59,653 WAS SHOVING A BROOM UP THERE. 149 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,956 BUT I TOLD HIM TO GO SLOWER, AND HE DID. 150 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:07,060 THEN I STOPPED THINKING ABOUT IT WHEN I LOOKED AT HIS FACE. 151 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,662 HIS EYES WERE CLOSED. 152 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,799 HIS MOUTH WAS OPEN IN A SORT OF SMILE, 153 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:15,068 LIKE HE WAS IN ANOTHER PLACE. 154 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,205 A BEAUTIFUL PLACE. 155 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,208 THAT PLACE WAS ME. [chuckles] 156 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,076 AND HIS BODY. 157 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,546 GOD! LIKE, HIS BODY WAS SO AMAZING. 158 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,516 I COULD SEE EVERY MUSCLE. - MM-HMM. 159 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,019 - HE SAID HE WANTED TO STAY INSIDE ME FOREVER... 160 00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:36,524 AND I WANTED HIM TO. 161 00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,559 I STILL FEEL HIM, 162 00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,895 LIKE, HE'S STILL THERE. 163 00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:44,064 CHRIST, DAPHNE, 164 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:48,602 EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT HAVING SEX... 165 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:52,005 BUT I REALLY DID IT. 166 00:07:57,945 --> 00:07:59,780 [zipper opens] 167 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,885 - I HAD TO PISS DURING THAT WHOLE PITCH. 168 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:10,558 DIDN'T THINK I COULD HOLD IT. 169 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:13,293 - YOUR PRESENTATION WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. 170 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,564 - THINK SO? 171 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:24,705 - YEAH, IT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. 172 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,306 - WELL, I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT 173 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:30,611 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HERE FOR. 174 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,946 TO PLEASE THE CLIENT. 175 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,783 - THAT'S IT! - SO, LIKE, WHAT IS HE NOW? 176 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,017 YOUR BOYFRIEND? 177 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:40,087 - [chuckles] WE JUST MET. 178 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:43,323 - WELL... DO YOU LOVE HIM? 179 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,960 - I DON'T KNOW. 180 00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:50,030 YEAH, I LOVE HIM. - [giggles] 181 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,765 DOES HE LOVE YOU? 182 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,801 - HE SAID HE DID. - WHEN? 183 00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,637 - WELL, WHEN HE WAS ABOUT TO SHOOT. 184 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,839 HE WAS MOVING REALLY FAST, AND HE LET OUT THIS GROAN 185 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,108 LIKE NOTHING I'D EVER HEARD BEFORE. 186 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,644 AND THAT'S WHEN HE SAID IT, RIGHT WHEN HE CAME. 187 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:06,647 HE SAID, "I LOVE YOU." 188 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:10,017 THEN HE LEANED IN AND KISSED ME. 189 00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:15,322 - [clears throat] 190 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:18,025 WELL, I GUESS WE BETTER BE GETTING BACK. 191 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,762 - YEAH, I GUESS SO. 192 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,898 - IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE. 193 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:28,669 - IT CAN BE EVEN MORE OF ONE. 194 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:31,605 - EXCUSE ME? 195 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,350 - YOU KNOW, I'M NEVER WRONG. 196 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,186 - HUH? - OH, NOTHING, BUDDY. 197 00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,822 - I-I DON'T KISS. 198 00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:52,325 - YEAH, RIGHT. 199 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,195 [electronic music] 200 00:09:55,228 --> 00:10:03,203 * 201 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:06,373 - * FEELING GOOD 202 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:10,010 * FEELING GOOD 203 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,113 - WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US TO THE MOVIES? 204 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,748 - I TOLD YOU, I DON'T WANT TO. 205 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:17,117 - HE DOESN'T WANT TO. - COME ON. 206 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,286 WE CAN GO TO THE MALL AFTERWARDS. 207 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,021 I'LL BUY YOU THOSE JEANS. 208 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,690 - I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. 209 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:26,226 - HE DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT. 210 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,895 - WOULD YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY? 211 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,262 - HE SAID "FUCK"! 212 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,732 - I'LL SAY A LOT WORSE IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. 213 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:32,866 - MOLLY, LEAVE HIM ALONE. 214 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,735 AND YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE ASKED YOU TO PLEASE NOT USE 215 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,136 THOSE WORDS IN FRONT OF YOUR SISTER. 216 00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,337 - SHE'S NOT MY SISTER. 217 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,272 SHE'S A BACTERIAL INFECTION 218 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,441 FOR WHICH I HOPE ONE DAY THEY FIND A CURE. 219 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,978 - TELL YOU WHAT... YOU CAN DRIVE. 220 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,279 - I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE. 221 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:50,417 - HE DOESN'T WANT TO DRIVE. 222 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,921 - ARE YOU JUST GOING TO SIT HERE ALL DAY? 223 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,889 ARE YOU? - I DON'T KNOW. 224 00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:58,425 - HE DOESN'T... 225 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:06,867 - WELL, I EXPECT YOU TO BE HERE WHEN WE GET BACK. 226 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,469 YOU HEAR ME? 227 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,805 COME ON, MOLLY. 228 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,850 - [sighs] 229 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,492 - AND NOW, BACK TO OUR FEATURE FILM PRESENTATION, 230 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,896 DIRTY DANCING, STARRING PATRICK SWAYZE. 231 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,202 - MR. NOVOTNY? 232 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,804 - MIKE. - MIKE. 233 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,939 I WAS WONDERING IF-- WELL, YOU KNOW THOSE BOXES 234 00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,474 YOU WANTED ME TO MOVE? - MM-HMM. 235 00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:49,777 - I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO SEEM LIKE I'M SHIRKING OR ANYTHING, 236 00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:50,978 BUT THEY'RE KIND OF HEAVY. 237 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,181 DO YOU THINK ONE OF THE GUYS COULD MAYBE GIVE ME A HAND? 238 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,383 - YEAH, NO PROBLEM. I CAN GET SOMEBODY TO HELP YOU. 239 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,885 - OH, THAT'D BE GREAT. 240 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,887 OKAY. I'LL BE OVER ON AISLE 14. 241 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,055 - OKAY. - OKAY. 242 00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:03,957 - YES, YOUR MAJESTY. 243 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,226 SOMEBODY SHOULD TELL HER PRINCESS DI IS DEAD, 244 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,361 AND THEY'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A REPLACEMENT. 245 00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:09,863 - THE BOXES ARE HEAVY. 246 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:12,299 AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ASKING FOR HELP. 247 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:14,301 I--YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE'S KIND OF SWEET ACTUALLY. 248 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,369 - YOU THINK SHE'S SWEET? 249 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,372 - WELL, I DON'T REALLY KNOW HER, BUT, YEAH. 250 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,375 - WHAT ABOUT CUTE? 251 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,377 - YEAH, SHE'S CUTE. 252 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,446 - WELL, SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE TOO. 253 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,216 - SHE...DOES? 254 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,517 - SHE LIKES YOU A LOT. 255 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,853 BUT SHE DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU LIKED HER, 256 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,521 SO I SAID I'D FIND OUT. 257 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,990 - SO YOU DON'T REALLY THINK SHE'S STUCK-UP. 258 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:38,458 - OH, SHE'S A DOLL. 259 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:42,529 YOU KNOW, I NEVER HEARD YOU SAY YOU LIKED A GIRL BEFORE. 260 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:44,798 - WELL, I-- - IN FACT... 261 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:48,802 I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT GIRLS. 262 00:12:48,836 --> 00:12:51,204 YOU...LIKE GIRLS, DON'T YOU? 263 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,173 - SURE. UH... 264 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,243 - SO THEN YOU'LL COME WITH US AFTER WORK TONIGHT. 265 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,410 WE'RE TAKING HER OUT FOR A DRINK. 266 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,912 - I DON'T THINK I CAN. I-- 267 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:02,515 - AH! NO EXCUSES. SHOELESS JOE'S, 7:30. 268 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:07,420 AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR HAIR. 269 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:08,889 - IT WAS A TRAP. 270 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,825 - HEY, SEE THAT NUMBER IN THE RED SHORTS? 271 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,394 - I COULD WORK OUT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS 272 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,096 AND NEVER LOOK LIKE THAT. 273 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,564 - PRETENDING SHE DIDN'T LIKE HER, 274 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,232 JUST TO SEE WHAT I'D SAY. 275 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,600 - SHAWN PETERS. 276 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,902 WENT HOME WITH HIM THE OTHER NIGHT, 277 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,303 THINKING HE WAS THIS BRUTAL TOP. 278 00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,272 - AND? - AND I FELL FOR IT. 279 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,474 - TURNS OUT HE'S A BIG, NELLY BOTTOM. 280 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,475 [laughter] 281 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,477 - I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT. 282 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,445 - AW, IT'S SO DISCOURAGING. 283 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,914 ARE THERE NO REAL MEN LEFT? 284 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,482 - AND NOW THEY'RE EXPECTING ME TO MEET THEM. 285 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,484 - STEROID CITY? - NO, IN THIS STRAIGHT BAR. 286 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,220 IS THERE ANYONE HERE LISTENING? 287 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:42,322 - THERE'S THIS NEW GIRL AT WORK WHO'S INTERESTED IN YOU. 288 00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,191 FAT MARLEY TRICKED YOU INTO MEETING HER 289 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:45,893 AND SOME OF THE OTHERS FOR A DRINK AFTER WORK, 290 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,095 AND NOW YOU HAVE TO GO, OR THEY MIGHT SUSPECT. 291 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,296 CHECK OUT MR. PEC-DECK. 292 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,531 SO WHAT... IF THEY DO? 293 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,100 - THEY COULD FIRE HIM. 294 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,334 - OR I COULD END UP AN ASSISTANT MANAGER 295 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,936 FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 296 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:59,239 - AND THE SOLUTION IS TO PRETEND YOU LIKE PUSSY? 297 00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:02,142 - AH, LOOK, HE'S NOT LIKE YOU, OKAY? 298 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,044 - WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 299 00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:06,579 - MEANING HE'S NOT AN OBVIOUSLY GAY MAN. 300 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,182 - ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF BEING OBVIOUS? 301 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:13,887 - IF THE FUCK-ME PUMP FITS. 302 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:17,590 - WELL, I COULD BE A... A R-REAL MAN, IF I WANTED TO. 303 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,160 YOU KNOW, JUST LOWER MY VOICE, 304 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,896 STOP...GESTURING WITH MY HANDS, 305 00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:26,099 MAKE SURE MY FACE IS EXPRESSIONLESS. 306 00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,667 NEVER, NEVER USE WORDS LIKE... 307 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,303 LIKE "FABULOUS" OR "DIVINE," 308 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,505 TALK ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW, 309 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,308 NAILING BITCHES AND RBIs. 310 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,510 BUT I'D RATHER MY FLAME BURN BRIGHT 311 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,647 THAN BE SOME PUNY, LITTLE PILOT LIGHT. 312 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,415 - AND A FABULOUS FLAME IT IS. 313 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,416 - THANK YOU. - YEAH. 314 00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,553 BUT MICHAEL IS OUT THERE IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD. 315 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:50,257 BELIEVE ME, IT ISN'T EASY. 316 00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:51,658 YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. 317 00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,660 - [panting] 318 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,262 I BETTER GO CHANGE. 319 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:58,665 - FOR YOUR BIG DATE? 320 00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:00,367 OOH, HERE'S A SPORTS MAG. 321 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,136 BETTER BONE UP. 322 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,404 JUST IN CASE THE CONVERSATION VEERS AWAY 323 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:07,374 FROM LIZA'S WEIGHT PROBLEM. 324 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:12,512 - JUSTIN, DID YOU HEAR ME? 325 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,948 I SAID YOU'RE NOT GOING. - I'M GOING. 326 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:16,716 - YOU WERE JUST THERE LAST NIGHT. 327 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:17,717 - SO WHAT? 328 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,254 - SO I WAS PLANNING TO TAKE YOU AND YOUR SISTER 329 00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,356 OUT FOR PIZZA. 330 00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,658 YOU-- [sighs] 331 00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,095 YOU KNOW, I EXPECT YOU TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS. 332 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,396 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE TO SPEND 333 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:32,465 ALL YOUR TIME WITH DAPHNE. 334 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,334 OF ALL THE BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES 335 00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,368 YOUR FATHER AND I BOUGHT FOR YOU, 336 00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,337 YOU HAVE TO PICK SOMETHING THAT NO LONGER FITS. 337 00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:40,373 THAT IS TOO TIGHT. 338 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:43,443 - THAT'S WHY. 339 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,046 - JUSTIN? 340 00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,348 DON'T I GET A KISS GOOD-BYE? 341 00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,359 I EXPECT YOU TO CALL! 342 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,463 [door opens] 343 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,166 [door closes] 344 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:19,212 - WE NEED A SECRET CODE WORD LIKE "SHAZAM," 345 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,647 SO THAT IF I GET IN A TIGHT SPOT, 346 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,449 YOU CAN COME IN AND RESCUE ME. 347 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:27,420 - A TIGHT SPOT. HOW ABOUT "BUTT PLUG"? 348 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,555 - "BUTT PLUG" MIGHT BE A LITTLE HARD 349 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:30,190 TO WORK INTO A CONVERSATION. 350 00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,191 - BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, 351 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,226 PRETENDING YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. 352 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,494 - I COULDN'T HELP IT. 353 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:35,562 - NO, YOU COULD HAVE TOLD HER THE TRUTH, 354 00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:38,698 INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE A SCARED, LITTLE FAGGOT. 355 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,468 YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID, "I TAKE IT UP THE ASS, SWEETHEART. 356 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,503 DEAL WITH IT." - RIGHT. RIGHT. 357 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:48,108 BY THE WAY, I NOTICED YOU GOT THE JEEP REPAINTED. 358 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:50,743 [laughter] - GREAT GAME. 359 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:54,581 [overlapping chatter] 360 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:59,352 - GOD, THIS PLACE IS LIKE BREEDERS' CENTRAL. 361 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,687 BUTT PLUG, BUTT PLUG, BUTT PLUG, 362 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,824 BUTT-- 363 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,727 - SEE YOU, MIKEY. 364 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,133 - I WANNA WATCH THE END OF THE GAME. 365 00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:17,537 - * EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE * 366 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:20,273 * LITTLE DARLIN' 367 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:24,377 * LITTLE DARLIN' MINE 368 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:26,813 * A DAY OR A LIFETIME * 369 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:30,817 * IT DON'T MATTER TO ME * 370 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,519 * AS LONG AS YOU ARE BY MY SIDE * 371 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,487 - MICHAEL. MICHAEL! 372 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,723 WHERE YOU BEEN? WE THOUGHT YOU GOT LOST. 373 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,725 - SOME, UH, LAST-MINUTE BUSINESS. 374 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,293 - WELL, SLIDE IT ON IN. 375 00:17:40,327 --> 00:17:42,829 HARV... MOVE YOUR HAIRY ASS. 376 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:46,699 - [chuckles] 377 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:51,171 - THANKS. 378 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,340 - WHAT ARE YOU HAVING? - UH... 379 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,441 SAME AS EVERYBODY ELSE. 380 00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,109 - GOOD CHOICE. 381 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,577 UH, BRING OVER ANOTHER PITCHER. 382 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,646 - HI. 383 00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:02,715 - HI. GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 384 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,184 - I TOLD YOU HE'D BE HERE, DIDN'T I? 385 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,785 NOT TO WORRY? 386 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,420 - I WASN'T WORRIED. 387 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,189 - NOW JUST MAKE SURE HE'S NOT SEEING ANYONE, 388 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,391 BEFORE YOU GET ALL LOVEY-DOVEY. [giggles] 389 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,726 - MARLEY, WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LEAVE 'EM ALONE? 390 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,762 - [mouths silently] 391 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,730 - YOU'RE NOT SEEING ANYONE, ARE YOU? 392 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,467 - ME? 393 00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:23,303 NO. - WELL, THAT'S GOOD. 394 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:26,506 I MEAN-- - I UNDERSTAND. 395 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:28,375 YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE 396 00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:32,879 IF THEY'RE INVOLVED ALREADY. 397 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,482 SO ARE YOU? - SEEING ANYONE? 398 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,783 NO, WE JUST BROKE UP. 399 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,220 - OH. SORRY. - OH, DON'T BE. 400 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,755 HE WAS A REAL DOOFUS. - [chuckles] 401 00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,757 - ONLY I DIDN'T KNOW IT AT THE TIME. 402 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,893 THERE'S SO MUCH YOU DON'T KNOW AT THE TIME. 403 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,329 - ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH? 404 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,930 - LIKE, CAN YOU BELIEVE, HE... 405 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,832 HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FIX A SINK? 406 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:55,168 [laughter] - REALLY! 407 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:57,170 - HE CALLED ME AT WORK SAYING, "WHAT SHOULD I DO?" 408 00:18:57,204 --> 00:18:59,639 I SAID, "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO. 409 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,808 "BUY SOME CEMENT. GET A CORK. 410 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,311 USE CHEWING GUM. BUT PLUG IT UP!" 411 00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:07,314 [laughter] 412 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,918 - "BUT PLUG." [chuckles] 413 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:16,556 BUTT PLUG? [laughs] 414 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,392 - A MILLION DOLLARS? 415 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:20,527 - THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA. 416 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,794 - A MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS? 417 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,896 - BRIAN, PLEASE. YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY. 418 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,967 - WELL, THE ANSWER'S NO. DEFINITELY NOT. 419 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,802 - [scoffs] I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM. 420 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,339 I MEAN, LINDSAY TOLD ME YOU OFFERED TO HELP SUPPORT HIM. 421 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:33,973 - IT WAS VERY GENEROUS. 422 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,476 - WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT THAN A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY. 423 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,412 - IT'S SIMPLY IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU. 424 00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:41,514 - LIKE I'M DECAPITATED AT A RAILROAD CROSSING? 425 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:44,384 OR BURNED BEYOND RECOGNITION IN SOME GAS EXPLOSION? 426 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,520 YOU KNOW, I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE GRIZZLY DEATHS 427 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,521 YOU'VE CONJURED UP FOR ME. 428 00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:52,525 - LIKE IN CASE YOU GET SICK. 429 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,296 - AH. EVEN BETTER. 430 00:19:56,329 --> 00:19:57,830 - CONSIDERING YOUR LIFE. 431 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,566 I MEAN, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WERE TESTED? 432 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,435 - SIX MONTHS AGO. I WAS NEGATIVE. 433 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:06,573 - THAT'S 26 WEEKS AND 182 ONE-NIGHT STANDS. 434 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:07,774 - YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED PEOPLE 435 00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,309 WHO COULD MULTIPLY IN THEIR HEADS. 436 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,844 AND I'M ALWAYS CAREFUL. 437 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,481 - LOOK, THIS ISN'T FOR US. IT'S FOR OUR SON. 438 00:20:14,514 --> 00:20:16,616 WE NEED TO MAKE SURE HE'LL BE PROVIDED FOR. 439 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:17,984 - AND ALL I HAVE TO DO IS DIE. 440 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:23,390 - HOPEFULLY NOT BEFORE YOU SIGN THESE PAPERS. 441 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,858 [laughter] 442 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,527 - WE WON'T BE LAUGHING COME SUPER BOWL TIME, 443 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,828 WHEN WE'RE UP AGAINST THE TITANS. 444 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:31,364 - WE DON'T STAND A CHANCE. - DON'T SAY THAT. 445 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,799 - YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE. RIGHT, MIKE? 446 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:37,604 - LIKE CHER! 447 00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:40,673 - YOU WATCH FOOTBALL? 448 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,675 - CONSTANTLY. 449 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:44,744 - [chuckles] SO, UH... 450 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:48,915 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 451 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:53,386 - WHAT DO I THINK? 452 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,823 I THINK... 453 00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,825 DUE TO FREE AGENCY, WE'VE LOST SOME OF OUR BEST PLAYERS. 454 00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:00,760 STILL, OUR DEFENSE IS STRONG, BUT WE NEED A NEW SCHEME 455 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:04,597 FROM OUR OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR TO MOVE THE BALL. 456 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,669 - [chuckles] THAT'S JUST WHAT I SAY. 457 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:13,640 [laughter] 458 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:18,411 [cell phone rings] 459 00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,480 - [mimics sportscaster] HELLO, SPORTS FANS. 460 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,948 - I'M COMING TO GET YOU. 461 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,384 - IT'S OKAY. I'M HAVING A REALLY GOOD TIME. 462 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,852 SHE'S REALLY, REALLY NICE. 463 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,521 - SHE'S REALLY NICE? 464 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,089 DO YOU THINK SHE AND HER FRIENDS WOULD BE REALLY NICE 465 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,492 IF THEY KNEW THE LITTLE CHARADE YOU WERE PLAYING? 466 00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:33,826 THEY'D PROBABLY TIE YOU TO A FENCE 467 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:36,062 AND BASH YOUR BRAINS IN. 468 00:21:36,095 --> 00:21:37,664 - THEY'RE NOT LIKE THAT. 469 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,065 - NOT LIKE THAT, HUH? 470 00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,800 LISTEN TO ME, MIKEY. 471 00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,102 ARE YOU LISTENING? - YEAH, I'M LISTENING. 472 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,837 - THERE'S ONLY TWO KINDS 473 00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,739 OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD-- 474 00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,808 THE ONES THAT HATE YOU TO YOUR FACE, 475 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:51,711 AND THE ONES THAT HATE YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK. 476 00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:54,947 NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE... 477 00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,917 BECAUSE I NEED YOU. 478 00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:00,353 - * AND I NEED YOUR BODY 479 00:22:00,387 --> 00:22:01,888 * LET ME HAVE YOUR BODY 480 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,122 * OH, I NEED YOUR BODY 481 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,625 - * HOW I WAS GONNA CHANGE, BUT I'M NOT * 482 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,460 * IF YOU KEEP DOING THINGS I DON'T * 483 00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,095 * YOU BETTER THINK all: * THINK 484 00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,864 - * THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO TO ME, YEAH * 485 00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,833 * THINK all: * THINK 486 00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,702 - * LET YOUR MIND GO, LET YOURSELF BE FREE * 487 00:22:15,735 --> 00:22:17,003 - * OH, YEAH 488 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:21,608 - * YEAH-AH-AH 489 00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,843 * 490 00:22:23,876 --> 00:22:25,412 - HI. 491 00:22:25,445 --> 00:22:27,046 - OH, SHIT, JUST WHAT I NEED. 492 00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:28,715 WHAT'S HIS NAME. 493 00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:30,850 - JUSTIN. HIS NAME'S JUSTIN. 494 00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:32,719 IF I CAN REMEMBER IT AND I DIDN'T EVEN FUCK HIM, 495 00:22:32,752 --> 00:22:34,153 WHY CAN'T YOU? 496 00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:36,823 - BECAUSE I DID. 497 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,162 SO, DAWSON, HOW ARE THINGS DOWN AT THE CREEK? 498 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,465 [crowd cheering] 499 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:48,134 - THANK YOU, PITTSBURGH. 500 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:50,603 I LOVE YOU. 501 00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:53,906 [cheers and applause] 502 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:55,074 YOU KNOW, FOR A SKINNY WHITE BOY, 503 00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,610 I MAKE ONE FUCKING FABULOUS BLACK WOMAN. 504 00:22:57,644 --> 00:22:58,945 - [chuckles] 505 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,813 HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ROUND ON ME? 506 00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:03,683 - I GOT A BETTER IDEA. LET'S MOVE ON. 507 00:23:03,716 --> 00:23:05,017 - WHAT'S WRONG WITH HERE? 508 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,553 - I'VE HAD EVERYONE HERE. 509 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,421 - OH, YEAH, MY PROBLEM PRECISELY. 510 00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:10,590 - YOU HAVEN'T HAD ME. 511 00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,892 - OH, YEAH? 512 00:23:12,925 --> 00:23:14,961 - WHAT? Y-YOU NEVER TOLD US. 513 00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,664 - THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL. 514 00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,899 - WE WERE UP IN HIS ROOM. 515 00:23:19,932 --> 00:23:23,436 WE WERE 14, 15 TOPS. - [sighs] 516 00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:24,904 - WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING, WHATEVER, 517 00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:26,639 ONLY WE'RE NOT. 518 00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:28,174 WE'RE LOOKING AT THIS TRASHY PHOTO MAG 519 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:29,742 HIS MOM SWIPED FROM THE BEAUTY PARLOR. 520 00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:31,644 ANYWAY... 521 00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:33,680 THERE'S THIS SHOT OF PATRICK SWAYZE 522 00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:36,082 FROM DIRTY DANCING... 523 00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,183 WITHOUT HIS SHIRT ON. 524 00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:38,685 - [sighs] - [chuckles] 525 00:23:38,718 --> 00:23:40,853 - SO I GOT THIS HARD-ON JUST FROM LOOKING AT IT, 526 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:43,956 AND I GLANCE OVER AT MIKEY, AND GUESS WHAT. 527 00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:45,925 HE'S GOT ONE TOO. 528 00:23:45,958 --> 00:23:48,160 - OKAY, YOU CAN STOP NOW. 529 00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:50,229 - TWIN STIFFIES. 530 00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:53,032 I REACH OVER, START RUBBING IT. 531 00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:56,636 HE'S PRACTICALLY SWOONING. 532 00:23:56,669 --> 00:23:59,772 I POP IT OUT, START STROKING IT, 533 00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,542 NICE AND SLOW. 534 00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:05,678 AND WE'RE BOTH THIS CLOSE. 535 00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:08,548 THEN... 536 00:24:08,581 --> 00:24:10,717 HIS MOM WALKS IN WITHOUT KNOCKING. 537 00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:12,151 [laughter] 538 00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:14,954 - THEY ALWAYS DO. DID SHE SEE YOU? 539 00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:16,556 - I DON'T SEE HOW SHE COULD HAVE MISSED IT. 540 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:20,159 - ONLY WE DIDN'T COME, SO IT DOESN'T COUNT. 541 00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:22,829 - OH, DIRTY DANCING. 542 00:24:22,862 --> 00:24:25,698 THAT'S A REALLY OLD MOVIE. - WHAT? 543 00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:27,734 - I SAID THAT'S A REALLY OLD MOVIE. 544 00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,001 - IT'S NOT THAT OLD. 545 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:30,737 - HOW OLD ARE YOU? 546 00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:33,840 - UH-OH. 547 00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:38,044 - HOW OLD DO YOU THINK I AM? 548 00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:39,746 - 33? [laughter] 549 00:24:39,779 --> 00:24:42,549 - FUCK...YOU. 550 00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,517 - HE'S 29. - AND FUCK YOU TOO. 551 00:24:44,551 --> 00:24:46,252 WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM FOR? - FAIR'S FAIR. 552 00:24:46,285 --> 00:24:48,521 - WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. IN A FEW MONTHS, 553 00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:49,756 YOU'LL BE 30. 554 00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:51,223 MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD. 555 00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:54,126 - HMM, WELL... 556 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,862 YOU OUGHT TO KNOW. 557 00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,229 YOU ALREADY ARE. 558 00:24:57,263 --> 00:25:00,600 - OH, HO, HO, HO. 559 00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:04,203 - OH, NO, YOU DON'T. COME BACK HERE. 560 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:06,573 YOU'RE NOT STICKING US WITH THAT KID. 561 00:25:06,606 --> 00:25:09,008 HE'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. NOW GET BACK IN THERE. 562 00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:10,743 - YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING A LITTLE SICK 563 00:25:10,777 --> 00:25:13,145 OF PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY. 564 00:25:13,179 --> 00:25:14,981 IF LINDSAY AND MELANIE WANT TO GO OFF AND HAVE A KID, 565 00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,616 THAT'S THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. 566 00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:19,051 IF WHAT'S HIS NAME, JUSTIN, WANTS TO GO OUT 567 00:25:19,085 --> 00:25:20,687 AND PICK UP GUYS WHILE HE'S STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL, 568 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:21,788 THAT'S HIS RESPONSIBILITY. 569 00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:24,757 MY RESPONSIBILITY IS TO MYSELF. 570 00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,092 I DON'T OWE ANYBODY A GODDAMN THING. 571 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,696 - CALM DOWN. 572 00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:39,806 IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 573 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,776 - AND WHERE DO PEOPLE GET OFF THINKING 574 00:25:43,810 --> 00:25:47,279 I'M NOT A KIND PERSON? 575 00:25:47,313 --> 00:25:49,215 - WHO SAID THAT? 576 00:25:49,248 --> 00:25:53,753 - TED, FOR EXAMPLE, THINKS I'M A HEARTLESS SHIT. 577 00:25:53,786 --> 00:25:56,022 - IT'S YOUR APPEAL. 578 00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,924 PLUS, HE'S JUST JEALOUS 579 00:25:57,957 --> 00:26:00,893 AND LONELY AND... 580 00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:06,132 - I HAPPEN TO BE VERY KIND. 581 00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:08,735 VERY LOVING. 582 00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:16,108 HEY, ZACK, HOW'S IT GOING? 583 00:26:16,142 --> 00:26:17,744 - NOT BAD. 584 00:26:17,777 --> 00:26:19,011 - HOW'S PETER? 585 00:26:19,045 --> 00:26:24,083 - STILL DEAD. 586 00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:28,387 - OH, SHIT. I FORGOT. 587 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,822 - WELL, IF ANYONE HAS ANY DOUBTS 588 00:26:29,856 --> 00:26:32,959 ABOUT HOW KIND AND LOVING YOU ARE... 589 00:26:32,992 --> 00:26:36,228 THAT SHOULD CONVINCE THEM. 590 00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:41,801 [engine revs] 591 00:26:41,834 --> 00:26:43,870 - ANYONE UP FOR BABYLON? 592 00:26:43,903 --> 00:26:45,972 - I WAS THINKING BOYTOY. 593 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:49,075 YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T BEEN SNUBBED BY A TWINKIE IN WEEKS. 594 00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:51,243 - WHAT ABOUT HIM? 595 00:26:51,277 --> 00:26:52,945 - WHAT ABOUT HIM? 596 00:26:52,979 --> 00:26:55,715 - WELL, WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE HIM HERE. 597 00:26:55,748 --> 00:26:57,750 - IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM. - HE'S MINE? 598 00:26:57,784 --> 00:26:59,686 - NO, BRIAN'S YOUR PROBLEM. 599 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:01,721 - LET HIM CLEAN UP HIS OWN MESS FOR A CHANGE. 600 00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:05,191 - DON'T WASTE YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT BABY-SITTING. 601 00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:15,001 [upbeat dance music] 602 00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:18,004 - * OH, YEAH YEAH YEAH 603 00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,405 * 604 00:27:19,438 --> 00:27:22,208 * UH-HUH, UH-HUH 605 00:27:22,241 --> 00:27:24,977 - I CAME ALL THE WAY HERE JUST TO SEE HIM. 606 00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:27,113 HE DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. 607 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:31,818 - YEAH, WELL, THE THING YOU GOT TO KNOW ABOUT BRIAN IS... 608 00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:33,419 HE'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND. 609 00:27:33,452 --> 00:27:36,355 BRIAN DOESN'T DO BOYFRIENDS. 610 00:27:36,388 --> 00:27:39,692 - YEAH, WELL, YOU WEREN'T THERE WHEN WE WERE DOING IT. 611 00:27:39,726 --> 00:27:42,394 YOU DON'T KNOW THE THINGS WE DID, 612 00:27:42,428 --> 00:27:45,297 HOW HE KISSED ME. 613 00:27:45,331 --> 00:27:47,466 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. 614 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,201 - I KNOW THIS. 615 00:27:49,235 --> 00:27:50,970 BRIAN IS A SELFISH PRICK 616 00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,039 WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. 617 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:58,077 AND IF I WERE YOU, I'D JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM. 618 00:27:58,110 --> 00:28:00,780 - HIYA, BOYS. GETTIN' ANY TONIGHT? 619 00:28:00,813 --> 00:28:02,181 [chuckles] 620 00:28:02,214 --> 00:28:03,482 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU AROUND HERE BEFORE. 621 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,052 - HE'S NEW. - AND CUTE. 622 00:28:06,085 --> 00:28:08,220 EVERY GUY IN THE PLACE HAS HIS EYE ON YOU TONIGHT, SWEETHEART. 623 00:28:08,254 --> 00:28:09,488 - CAN WE ORDER? 624 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,023 - SHOOT. 625 00:28:11,057 --> 00:28:12,324 BUT IT'LL BE THE FIRST TIME TONIGHT, 626 00:28:12,358 --> 00:28:13,926 AM I RIGHT? [chuckles] 627 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:14,961 - HA-HA! 628 00:28:14,994 --> 00:28:16,796 I'LL HAVE THE CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK. 629 00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:18,731 NO REMARKS. 630 00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:20,466 AND, UH, HE'LL HAVE A BACON CHEESEBURGER. 631 00:28:20,499 --> 00:28:22,869 - "PLEASE." - PLEASE. 632 00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,904 - YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR STRENGTH UP, SUNSHINE. 633 00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:26,806 YOU CAN'T CRUISE ALL NIGHT ON AN EMPTY STOMACH. 634 00:28:26,839 --> 00:28:30,176 [chuckles] 635 00:28:30,209 --> 00:28:34,013 - WHAT A FREAK! 636 00:28:34,046 --> 00:28:35,748 - YEAH, SHE TAKES SOME GETTING USED TO, 637 00:28:35,782 --> 00:28:38,350 BUT ONCE YOU DO, CAN'T HELP BUT LOVE HER. 638 00:28:38,384 --> 00:28:40,319 - ONE CHICKEN-FRIED STEAK WITH NO REMARKS, 639 00:28:40,352 --> 00:28:41,788 COMING UP IN A FLASH. 640 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,890 - THANKS, MOM. 641 00:28:43,923 --> 00:28:46,826 - YOU'RE WELCOME, BABY. 642 00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:48,160 - I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE. 643 00:28:48,194 --> 00:28:51,197 GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. 644 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,265 - [chuckles] 645 00:28:58,871 --> 00:29:01,974 YOU'RE, LIKE, SO LUCKY. - I AM? 646 00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:04,143 - YOUR MOM'S COOL ABOUT YOUR BEING GAY. 647 00:29:04,176 --> 00:29:06,045 IF MINE FOUND OUT, SHE'D KILL ME. 648 00:29:06,078 --> 00:29:07,847 - AT LEAST IT GIVES HER A SENSE OF PURPOSE. 649 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,081 I MEAN, WITHOUT ME, SHE'D BE PLAYING BINGO 650 00:29:09,115 --> 00:29:11,250 INSTEAD OF ORGANIZING PRIDE MARCHES AND... 651 00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:12,985 HANDING OUT CONDOMS. 652 00:29:13,019 --> 00:29:14,053 DO YOU NEED A RIDE? 653 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:15,988 - UH, I BORROWED A FRIEND'S CAR. 654 00:29:16,022 --> 00:29:18,057 - OH, YOU DON'T HAVE A LITTLE BEEMER OF YOUR OWN? 655 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:19,992 - I'M WORKING ON IT. 656 00:29:20,026 --> 00:29:22,061 - JUST REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT BRIAN. 657 00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,529 - IF HE'S SUCH A SELFISH PRICK, 658 00:29:23,562 --> 00:29:25,464 HOW COME YOU'RE ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND? 659 00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:27,399 - I'M NOT ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM AROUND. 660 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,568 WE'RE BEST FRIENDS. 661 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:31,270 WE ACCEPT EACH OTHER FOR WHO WE ARE, 662 00:29:31,303 --> 00:29:33,339 NO JUDGMENTS, NO OBLIGATIONS, 663 00:29:33,372 --> 00:29:35,507 NO QUESTIONS ASKED. 664 00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:38,477 - YOU'RE JUST WAITING FOR HIM TO FINISH JERKING YOU OFF. 665 00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,280 - WHAT? - YOU NEVER GOT OFF. 666 00:29:41,313 --> 00:29:43,515 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE STILL HANGING AROUND AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. 667 00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:48,154 - GO ON, CHICKEN. BACK TO YOUR COOP. 668 00:29:48,187 --> 00:29:49,221 AND DON'T GO LOOKING FOR HIM. 669 00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:53,359 IT'LL JUST MAKE THINGS WORSE. 670 00:29:53,392 --> 00:29:56,062 - READY, SWEETIE? 671 00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:03,502 DID HE TAKE OFF? 672 00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,237 JUST AS WELL. 673 00:30:05,271 --> 00:30:10,242 HE WAS A LITTLE TOO YOUNG FOR YOU. 674 00:30:10,276 --> 00:30:14,046 [chuckles] 675 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,016 - SHOULD I INVITE MY COUSIN RITA? 676 00:30:17,049 --> 00:30:19,085 - WHICH ONE'S SHE? - YOU KNOW. 677 00:30:19,118 --> 00:30:21,053 THE ONE WITH THE, UH, OVERBITE 678 00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:22,188 WHO NEVER APPROVED OF US? 679 00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:23,956 - OH, HER. 680 00:30:23,990 --> 00:30:26,192 MIGHT AS WELL. SHE PROBABLY WON'T COME ANYWAY. 681 00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:29,328 OH, THAT'S MY GOOD BOY. 682 00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:30,897 - YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. 683 00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:32,231 I USED TO SEE THESE WOMEN FEEDING THEIR KIDS, 684 00:30:32,264 --> 00:30:34,333 AND I'D THINK, "UGH, WHAT A TURN-OFF." 685 00:30:34,366 --> 00:30:37,603 BUT WATCHING YOU... 686 00:30:37,636 --> 00:30:40,239 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 687 00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:43,375 - YOU CAN'T BELIEVE HOW CONNECTED YOU FEEL. 688 00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:46,345 [baby coos] 689 00:30:55,087 --> 00:30:59,391 GOOD NIGHT, SWEETIE. 690 00:30:59,425 --> 00:31:02,194 NEXT TIME, WE'LL FEED HIM TOGETHER. 691 00:31:02,228 --> 00:31:06,232 YOU CAN GIVE HIM MY BREAST. 692 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:09,235 - IT'S SO FULL. 693 00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:41,400 I GUESS THAT'S ALL WE CAN DO FOR NOW. 694 00:31:41,433 --> 00:31:43,936 OH, 34 GUESTS. THAT'S A LOT. 695 00:31:43,970 --> 00:31:45,371 - NOT EVERYONE WILL SHOW. 696 00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:48,040 - WELL, LET'S HOPE ONE IN PARTICULAR DOESN'T. 697 00:31:56,448 --> 00:31:57,716 - I HOPE WE WEREN'T TOO HARD ON HIM. 698 00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,685 - WHO? BRIAN? 699 00:31:59,718 --> 00:32:02,154 - ALL THAT TALK ABOUT THE INSURANCE. 700 00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:03,422 IT ALMOST SOUNDED LIKE WE WERE HOPING 701 00:32:03,455 --> 00:32:04,656 SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN TO HIM. 702 00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:06,458 - WE'RE JUST BEING PRACTICAL. 703 00:32:06,492 --> 00:32:08,494 I MEAN, HE'S THE FATHER, ISN'T HE? 704 00:32:08,527 --> 00:32:11,297 IT ONLY MAKES SENSE THAT HIS SON SHOULD BE HIS BENEFICIARY. 705 00:32:11,330 --> 00:32:13,632 [typing] 706 00:32:19,005 --> 00:32:20,973 - I'M JUST SAYING MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE WAITED 707 00:32:21,007 --> 00:32:23,042 UNTIL HE WAS OVER THE INITIAL SHOCK. 708 00:32:23,075 --> 00:32:24,243 - [scoffs] 709 00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,213 WHAT SHOCK? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE BIRTH. 710 00:32:27,246 --> 00:32:29,081 ALL HE DID WAS SHOW UP WITH HIS LATEST TRICK. 711 00:32:29,115 --> 00:32:31,517 - AT LEAST HE SHOWED UP. - [scoffs] CHRIST. 712 00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,319 IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME. - WHAT? 713 00:32:33,352 --> 00:32:35,054 - THE WAY YOU PUT UP WITH HIS SHIT. 714 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:36,322 [baby fussing] - SHH. 715 00:32:36,355 --> 00:32:37,723 I DON'T PUT UP WITH IT. - LIKE HELL. 716 00:32:37,756 --> 00:32:39,458 - I UNDERSTAND IT. 717 00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:41,227 HIM. - WHAT? 718 00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:43,162 THAT HE'S A BIGGER INFANT THAN HIS SON? 719 00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,097 - THAT HE DOES EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS. 720 00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,199 NO EXCUSES, NO APOLOGIES. 721 00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:48,467 I'VE ALWAYS ADMIRED HIM FOR THAT. 722 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,402 - WELL, THEN YOU CAN PUT UP WITH IT. 723 00:32:50,436 --> 00:32:52,071 I DON'T HAVE TO. 724 00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:54,173 - COME ON, LET'S GO BACK TO SLEEP... 725 00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:56,642 FOR AN HOUR. 726 00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:07,619 - YES. 727 00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:11,423 - SO YOU GOING OUT CRUISING AFTER YOU DROP ME OFF? 728 00:33:11,457 --> 00:33:14,393 - NO, I'VE BEEN INVITED TO AN ALL-NIGHT ORGY. 729 00:33:14,426 --> 00:33:15,394 - WHOO! 730 00:33:15,427 --> 00:33:17,429 SOUNDS HOT. [chuckles] 731 00:33:17,463 --> 00:33:20,666 - AND IF YOU MUST KNOW, I AM GOING BACK TO MY GAY APARTMENT, 732 00:33:20,699 --> 00:33:22,434 TAKING OFF MY GAY CLOTHES, 733 00:33:22,468 --> 00:33:25,637 AND GETTING INTO MY GAY BED. 734 00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,639 - YOU'RE IN A MOOD. 735 00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:31,110 - IT'S GODDAMN BRIAN. 736 00:33:31,143 --> 00:33:34,646 - WHAT DID HE DO THIS TIME? 737 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:37,116 - NEVER MIND. 738 00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:42,188 - I WISH YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM GET TO YOU. 739 00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:45,557 BUT HE ALWAYS DOES. 740 00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:49,495 THAT'S WHY I KEEP HOPING THAT YOU'LL MEET SOMEBODY. 741 00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:01,173 WHY ARE ALL THE LIGHTS ON? 742 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:04,076 SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG WITH VIC. 743 00:34:04,110 --> 00:34:05,711 VIC! 744 00:34:05,744 --> 00:34:09,415 BABY? 745 00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:10,649 IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? 746 00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:12,784 - JUST COULDN'T SLEEP. 747 00:34:12,818 --> 00:34:15,187 HEY, MIKEY. - UNCLE VIC. 748 00:34:15,221 --> 00:34:16,488 - ARE YOU IN PAIN? 749 00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:18,290 - YEAH. 750 00:34:18,324 --> 00:34:20,759 - WHERE? TELL ME. - MY WALLET. 751 00:34:24,696 --> 00:34:27,699 - HOLY SHIT! - WHAT IS IT? 752 00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:30,436 - IT'S THE MASTERCARD BILL FROM OUR...OUR TRIP TO ITALY. 753 00:34:30,469 --> 00:34:32,704 - FIRST-CLASS AIRLINE TICKETS, 754 00:34:32,738 --> 00:34:34,706 THE EXCELSIOR IN ROME, 755 00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:38,410 THE DIAMOND AND CORAL EARRINGS I BOUGHT YOU IN CAPRI. 756 00:34:38,444 --> 00:34:40,579 THEY'RE ALL HERE. 757 00:34:40,612 --> 00:34:42,681 THE PROBLEM IS, SO AM I. 758 00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:45,584 - DON'T SAY THAT. 759 00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:47,419 IT'S A MIRACLE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. 760 00:34:47,453 --> 00:34:51,123 - IT'S A MIRACLE HOW I'M GONNA PAY FOR ALL OF THIS. 761 00:34:51,157 --> 00:34:53,459 - HUSTLE? - WHA-- 762 00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:59,231 [laughter] 763 00:35:06,238 --> 00:35:09,408 [laughter continues] 764 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:12,411 [Minimal Peach by Greek Buck] 765 00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:17,749 * 766 00:35:17,783 --> 00:35:23,655 - * IT'S YOU, YOU, YOU AGAIN * 767 00:35:23,689 --> 00:35:28,860 * CREAMY CRUSH WITH THE SUN COMING UP * 768 00:35:28,894 --> 00:35:30,762 * GLANCE, LOOK, STARE 769 00:35:30,796 --> 00:35:33,765 * STAKE IN MY HEART, OH-HO-HO * 770 00:35:33,799 --> 00:35:38,837 * IT BEATS SO FAST, SO FAST IT STOPS * 771 00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:42,474 * I THINK WE JAM LIKE JELL 772 00:35:42,508 --> 00:35:45,644 * JELLY BABY 773 00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:48,914 * 774 00:35:48,947 --> 00:35:52,951 * COME ON, MAKE IT HAPPEN * 775 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:56,522 * PEACH MALIBU 776 00:35:56,555 --> 00:36:03,262 * 777 00:36:03,295 --> 00:36:06,198 * PEACH MALIBU 778 00:36:06,232 --> 00:36:08,834 * 779 00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:13,405 - PATRICK SWAYZE IS SO HOT. 780 00:36:13,439 --> 00:36:18,410 - * PEACH MALIBU 781 00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:19,678 * 782 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:23,549 * EMPTY YOUR VESSEL FOR ME * 783 00:36:23,582 --> 00:36:27,653 * 'CAUSE WE TRAVEL TOGETHER ON BUS 43 * 784 00:36:27,686 --> 00:36:29,621 - I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THAT. 785 00:36:29,655 --> 00:36:33,459 - * EMPTY YOUR VESSEL FOR ME * 786 00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:34,826 * 'CAUSE WE TRAVEL 787 00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:38,764 - PATRICK SWAYZE IS SO HOT. 788 00:36:40,799 --> 00:36:44,836 - I'VE SEEN DIRTY DANCING, LIKE, FIVE TIMES. 789 00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,705 - WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO FUCK HIM. 790 00:36:46,738 --> 00:36:49,275 - DON'T SAY THAT, BRIAN. 791 00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:52,578 - YOU'RE SO PATHETIC. 792 00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:55,681 FIRST I'D UNZIP HIS FLY... 793 00:36:55,714 --> 00:36:59,485 THEN I'D PULL OUT HIS KING-SIZED BONER... 794 00:36:59,518 --> 00:37:03,355 PLAY WITH IT, REAL SLOW. 795 00:37:03,389 --> 00:37:05,424 - OH, YEAH? 796 00:37:05,457 --> 00:37:08,327 - HEY, MIKEY... 797 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,761 YOU HAVE A WOODIE. 798 00:37:09,795 --> 00:37:14,500 - I DO NOT. - YOU DO TOO. 799 00:37:14,533 --> 00:37:17,469 WE'LL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT. 800 00:37:17,503 --> 00:37:22,974 * 801 00:37:23,008 --> 00:37:24,876 - * GLANCE, LOOK, STARE 802 00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:27,779 * STAKE IN MY HEART, OH-HO-HO * 803 00:37:27,813 --> 00:37:29,615 * IT BEATS SO FAST 804 00:37:29,648 --> 00:37:30,716 * SO FAST IT STOPS 805 00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:34,420 - HI, BABE. - MA! CAN'T YOU KNOCK? 806 00:37:34,453 --> 00:37:36,021 - I FORGOT TO TELL YOU WE'RE HAVING A YARD SALE, 807 00:37:36,054 --> 00:37:38,924 SO IF YOU WANT TO THROW ANYTHING OUT-- 808 00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:40,926 OH, DON'T TELL ME YOU STILL HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. 809 00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:49,000 [groovy music] 810 00:37:49,034 --> 00:37:56,975 * 811 00:37:59,811 --> 00:38:01,647 - I'D FUCK YOU. 812 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,615 [door buzzer] 813 00:38:03,649 --> 00:38:08,520 * 814 00:38:08,554 --> 00:38:12,958 TOP FLOOR. COME ON UP. 815 00:38:12,991 --> 00:38:14,860 CHRIST! WHAT ARE YOU... 816 00:38:14,893 --> 00:38:16,695 - I'M SORRY. I-I DON'T WANT TO-- 817 00:38:16,728 --> 00:38:18,597 - YOU CAN'T JUST DROP BY UNANNOUNCED. 818 00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,731 - I JUST WANT TO TALK. 819 00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:21,433 - THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. 820 00:38:21,467 --> 00:38:22,934 - PLEASE? I WON'T STAY LONG. 821 00:38:22,968 --> 00:38:25,737 I-I'LL JUST--CAN I? - NO. 822 00:38:25,771 --> 00:38:29,608 OH, SHIT. 823 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:35,581 * 824 00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:38,917 - THE DOOR WAS ABOUT TO SHUT, SO I...SLIPPED IN. 825 00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:46,091 * 826 00:38:46,124 --> 00:38:49,094 PENTHOUSE. NOT BAD. 827 00:38:49,127 --> 00:38:51,430 WHO'S THIS? - NO ONE. 828 00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:52,698 - I HAVE TO SEE YOU. 829 00:38:52,731 --> 00:38:54,433 - I'M BUSY. 830 00:38:54,466 --> 00:38:57,803 - I DON'T MIND A THREESOME, ALTHOUGH HE'S KIND OF YOUNG. 831 00:38:57,836 --> 00:38:59,571 - HE'S ALSO KIND OF LEAVING. - WHO'S HE? 832 00:38:59,605 --> 00:39:02,007 - FORGIVE ME FOR NOT INTRODUCING YOU. 833 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,776 JUSTIN, THIS IS MR. GOODFUK. 834 00:39:04,810 --> 00:39:06,978 MR. GOODFUK, MAY I PRESENT JUSTIN. 835 00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:08,514 - THE NAME IS GEORGE. 836 00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:12,083 - SORRY. GEORGE GOODFUK. 837 00:39:12,117 --> 00:39:14,152 - YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. 838 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:15,821 - WELL, I WAS HOPING TO GET TO. 839 00:39:15,854 --> 00:39:18,957 NOW WHY DON'T YOU JUST SCAMPER ON HOME? 840 00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:23,862 HE'S MY STALKER. 841 00:39:23,895 --> 00:39:26,432 - THAT WASN'T VERY KIND... 842 00:39:26,465 --> 00:39:28,767 SENDING HIM OFF, A KID THAT AGE, 843 00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:31,603 BY HIMSELF AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT. 844 00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:36,875 - WHO ARE YOU? FATHER GOODFUK? 845 00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:39,945 OH, ALL RIGHT. 846 00:39:39,978 --> 00:39:43,615 MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE. 847 00:39:43,649 --> 00:39:46,652 AND DON'T...STEAL ANYTHING. 848 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,623 HEY. HEY! 849 00:39:51,657 --> 00:39:54,526 I JUST LEFT A COMPLETE STRANGER ALONE IN MY APARTMENT 850 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,761 TO COME TALK TO YOU, 851 00:39:55,794 --> 00:40:00,599 SO DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME. 852 00:40:00,632 --> 00:40:02,100 WE NEED TO GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. 853 00:40:02,133 --> 00:40:04,169 - YOU DON'T DO BOYFRIENDS. - OH. 854 00:40:04,202 --> 00:40:06,905 MIKEY'S BEEN TALKING TO YOU. 855 00:40:06,938 --> 00:40:08,640 - YOU'LL FUCK ANYONE. 856 00:40:08,674 --> 00:40:11,142 HE'S UGLY. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM. 857 00:40:11,176 --> 00:40:15,046 AND I...I REALLY-- - JUSTIN. 858 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:19,518 I'VE HAD YOU. 859 00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:22,921 WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT... IT WAS FOR FUN. 860 00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:26,458 YOU WANTED ME, AND I WANTED YOU. 861 00:40:26,492 --> 00:40:28,660 THAT'S ALL IT WAS. 862 00:40:28,694 --> 00:40:31,697 - A FUCK? 863 00:40:31,730 --> 00:40:36,735 - WELL, WHAT DID YOU THINK IT WAS? 864 00:40:36,768 --> 00:40:40,939 LOOK, I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE. 865 00:40:40,972 --> 00:40:43,775 I BELIEVE IN FUCKING. 866 00:40:43,809 --> 00:40:45,811 IT'S HONEST. IT'S EFFICIENT. 867 00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:48,246 YOU GET IN AND OUT WITH A MAXIMUM OF PLEASURE 868 00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:51,483 AND A MINIMUM OF BULLSHIT. 869 00:40:51,517 --> 00:40:53,519 LOVE IS SOMETHING THAT STRAIGHT PEOPLE 870 00:40:53,552 --> 00:40:56,054 TELL THEMSELVES THEY'RE IN, SO THEY CAN GET LAID, 871 00:40:56,087 --> 00:40:57,656 AND THEN THEY END UP HURTING EACH OTHER 872 00:40:57,689 --> 00:41:01,059 BECAUSE IT WAS ALL BASED ON LIES TO BEGIN WITH. 873 00:41:01,092 --> 00:41:02,961 - [sniffling] 874 00:41:02,994 --> 00:41:04,663 - IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, 875 00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:09,167 THEN GO AND FIND YOURSELF A PRETTY, LITTLE GIRL... 876 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,703 AND GET MARRIED. 877 00:41:11,737 --> 00:41:14,806 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT. 878 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:16,708 I WANT YOU. 879 00:41:16,742 --> 00:41:21,980 - YOU CAN'T HAVE ME. I'M TOO O-- 880 00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:23,715 YOU'RE TOO YOUNG FOR ME. 881 00:41:23,749 --> 00:41:25,150 YOU'RE 17. I'M 28. 882 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:28,620 - YOU'RE 29. 883 00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:32,591 - ALL RIGHT. 29. 884 00:41:32,624 --> 00:41:36,862 ALL THE MORE REASON. 885 00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:39,731 NOW GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK. 886 00:41:39,765 --> 00:41:45,704 - * IF I COULD LAY ME DOWN NOW * 887 00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:49,641 * IF I COULD PRAY AND SLEEP * 888 00:41:49,675 --> 00:41:51,610 [engine turns over] 889 00:41:51,643 --> 00:41:57,616 * THE NIGHT NEVER ENDING 890 00:41:57,649 --> 00:42:03,689 * MY WEARY SOUL TO KEEP 891 00:42:03,722 --> 00:42:07,025 * IF I COULD LAY ME DOWN NOW * 892 00:42:07,058 --> 00:42:10,028 * 893 00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:13,064 * IN A DREAM ASLEEP 894 00:42:16,602 --> 00:42:18,236 - * LET'S GET SOAKIN' WET 895 00:42:18,269 --> 00:42:21,239 [Dive in the Pool by Barry Harris] 896 00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:29,214 * 897 00:44:03,775 --> 00:44:05,877 * COME ON 898 00:44:05,911 --> 00:44:09,748 * 899 00:44:09,781 --> 00:44:13,785 * I WANNA HEAR IT 900 00:44:13,819 --> 00:44:15,921 * LET'S GET SOAKIN' WET 61790

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