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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,167 I just hope it doesn't cause any permanent damage. 2 00:00:21,464 --> 00:00:25,760 - How long have you been here, anyway? - A while. 3 00:00:27,637 --> 00:00:30,431 - You missed your prom? - Yeah. 4 00:00:36,396 --> 00:00:39,816 The thing is, when I made that bet-- 5 00:00:40,358 --> 00:00:44,529 There he is. It's Freddie. He's wearing a tux. 6 00:00:44,737 --> 00:00:48,533 What's up? I met a whole other person inside of you. 7 00:00:49,284 --> 00:00:53,121 There's a whole other person inside of both of us. 8 00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:20,440 Would the whole other person... 9 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,693 ...like to dance? 10 00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,530 Yes. 11 00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:31,117 - Morning, sweetie! - Daddy! 12 00:01:31,451 --> 00:01:34,162 - Why are you in here? - Why am I in here? 13 00:01:34,412 --> 00:01:36,331 It's her birthday, Dad. 14 00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:39,208 Happy birthday, sweetie. 15 00:01:42,462 --> 00:01:46,716 - What's that buzzing sound? - I just need a minute, here. 16 00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:48,927 Maybe it's that construction. 17 00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:51,346 Where's my little angel? 18 00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:53,222 Happy birthday, honey. 19 00:01:53,431 --> 00:01:54,599 Grandma? Grandpa? 20 00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:56,267 Rosco! 21 00:01:59,562 --> 00:02:01,564 Rosco, go. 22 00:02:02,315 --> 00:02:04,442 - Hello. - Father O'Flannagan? 23 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:07,904 I brought your special friends from the center! 24 00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:10,615 - Happy birthday! - Janey's making faces. 25 00:02:10,823 --> 00:02:12,659 It smells in here. 26 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:14,911 Okay, make a wish, dear. 27 00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,121 No. 28 00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:33,554 Let's begin now. 29 00:02:44,607 --> 00:02:47,068 This isn't a typical high school. 30 00:02:47,318 --> 00:02:51,906 At John Hughes, there are no cliques, no exclusive social groups. 31 00:02:52,115 --> 00:02:55,576 You're accepted for you, not who you hang out with. 32 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:59,956 We'll divide into groups so you can get to know your peers. 33 00:03:00,164 --> 00:03:03,459 Let's get all you jocks in one group... 34 00:03:03,668 --> 00:03:07,213 ...and get you slutty girls over here by me. 35 00:03:07,422 --> 00:03:09,632 Hey, how you doing? Welcome. 36 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,677 You losers should hang out in the back. 37 00:03:12,885 --> 00:03:16,472 That clearly includes you. Come on, get back there. 38 00:03:16,681 --> 00:03:19,475 Take a look at the kid standing beside you. 39 00:03:21,644 --> 00:03:24,731 They're your only friends for the next four years. 40 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,233 Okay, let's move it, people! 41 00:03:38,661 --> 00:03:41,539 - You need to start dating. - I don't date. You know that. 42 00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:43,624 Janey, you know Dad's rule. 43 00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:45,668 I can't have sex before you. 44 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:49,088 I don't conform to typical high-school norms. 45 00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:53,634 I read Sylvia Plath, listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu. 46 00:03:53,843 --> 00:03:57,346 - I'm a unique rebel. - More like you're a lesbo. 47 00:03:57,555 --> 00:03:59,974 Mitch, leave your sister alone. 48 00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:01,559 Thank you, Daddy. 49 00:04:01,768 --> 00:04:04,771 If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher, that's her decision. 50 00:04:08,191 --> 00:04:10,526 Go! Fight! Win! 51 00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,077 Nice combination, Crissy! 52 00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:26,584 I've been meaning to get that fixed. 53 00:04:27,627 --> 00:04:29,212 Later, Dad. 54 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,341 Hey, I'll be late to pick you up. 55 00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:35,510 Why? A job interview? 56 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,180 No, honey. I'll probably just be way too drunk. 57 00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:41,933 That's good. No drinking and driving. 58 00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:46,020 Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too drunk to remember. 59 00:04:46,729 --> 00:04:48,731 Okay. Bye, Daddy. 60 00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:51,067 Bye, pumpkin-head. 61 00:04:56,614 --> 00:04:59,075 - Oh, my God! - Get out of the road! 62 00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,594 Oh, my God, it's Jake. 63 00:05:19,679 --> 00:05:22,265 - Hi, stud. - Hi, Jake. 64 00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:26,352 - I love that thing with his eyebrows. - Those sideburns. 65 00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:30,064 Oh, my God, there's Jake. He's so popular. 66 00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,733 He just looked at me. 67 00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:35,611 - Here. You can keep it. - Tiff. 68 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,573 Hi, Jake. It's all wet. 69 00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,616 Melanie. 70 00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:42,827 Hey, Jake. 71 00:05:43,035 --> 00:05:44,745 Hey, Arthur. 72 00:05:53,045 --> 00:05:56,132 Here's Ricky! 73 00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:58,342 Hey, Ricky. How was your weekend? 74 00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:03,181 Friday night I stood outside your window in the rain. .. 75 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,974 ...screaming your name. 76 00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,353 Then I spent Saturday and Sunday making you this great... 77 00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:13,858 ...I've-been-desperately-trying- to-tell-you-that... 78 00:06:14,066 --> 00:06:16,360 ...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you... 79 00:06:16,569 --> 00:06:18,613 ...mix tape for your birthday. 80 00:06:18,821 --> 00:06:22,200 A mix tape? That's so sweet, Ricky. 81 00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:25,369 See you in English. 82 00:06:28,664 --> 00:06:30,541 Catch you guy later. 83 00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:35,546 What happening? 84 00:06:35,755 --> 00:06:39,258 Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending to be Asian and shit. 85 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:44,222 That cracker is white! Can't he see that, yo? 86 00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:47,183 Did you get any action this weekend? 87 00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:50,978 - I visit grandfather. - I played with my sisters. 88 00:06:51,187 --> 00:06:52,563 We're pathetic. 89 00:06:52,772 --> 00:06:56,525 How will we ever lose our virginity by graduation? 90 00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,403 - We're freshmen. - What's with the attitude? 91 00:06:59,654 --> 00:07:03,241 - Not easy to get lucky here. - Girls are sensitive. 92 00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:07,578 They're not looking for sex. They're looking for love. 93 00:07:07,787 --> 00:07:10,248 Love me! Harder! 94 00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,756 Amanda Becker. 95 00:07:20,424 --> 00:07:23,678 She is so perfect. 96 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,147 Keep dreaming. 97 00:07:36,148 --> 00:07:37,858 What's up, Reggie Ray? 98 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,444 I can't wait until Friday's game. 99 00:07:40,736 --> 00:07:45,199 What about your head? You have a blood clot the size of a grapefruit. 100 00:07:45,408 --> 00:07:49,495 Five more concussions and you'll die. You should take it easy. 101 00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:52,748 - Don't listen to him. - Austin. 102 00:07:52,999 --> 00:07:57,962 Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore, isn't first-string anymore. 103 00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:02,508 We know what happened last time Jake called the plays. 104 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,886 And now, our hometown hero... 105 00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:09,432 ...first-string quarterback, Jake Wyler! 106 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,019 Malik, could you hold these books? 107 00:08:13,352 --> 00:08:16,063 Sure. Why not? I am the token black guy. 108 00:08:16,272 --> 00:08:18,774 I smile, stay out of the conversation... 109 00:08:19,108 --> 00:08:24,488 ...and say things like "Damn," "Shit," and "That is whack!" 110 00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:45,009 What's she doing here? She graduated four years ago. 111 00:08:46,635 --> 00:08:48,596 - Hi, Jake. - Catherine. 112 00:08:48,804 --> 00:08:50,473 Can I ask you a question? 113 00:08:50,681 --> 00:08:53,976 Why is it when I tell a guy to put it anywhere... 114 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,188 -...they always stick it in my ass? - Damn! 115 00:08:57,396 --> 00:08:59,565 Way too much information. 116 00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:04,111 Oh, no. Too much information would be telling you. .. 117 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,281 ...that after they're done I take a huge dump. 118 00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:08,491 Shit! 119 00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:12,370 On their chest. 120 00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:14,789 Oh, that is whack! 121 00:09:30,554 --> 00:09:32,640 Priscilla, there you are. 122 00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:34,975 Jake, I need some T-to-the-fourth-power-Y. 123 00:09:37,853 --> 00:09:39,772 Some time to talk to you. 124 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,318 God. 125 00:09:45,945 --> 00:09:47,780 It made sense to me, Priscilla. 126 00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,786 You're leaving me for this guy? 127 00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:57,289 I'm sorry, Jake. We met over spring break. 128 00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:03,045 I'm not ordinary. 129 00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:06,382 You're leaving me for this guy? 130 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,551 His name is Les... 131 00:10:08,759 --> 00:10:12,346 ...and he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. 132 00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:17,059 And so is his bag. 133 00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:50,050 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 134 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,344 Janey Briggs, please report to the office. 135 00:10:55,681 --> 00:10:58,559 Being a foreign exchange student is scary... 136 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:01,562 ...adjusting to a new school, a new country. 137 00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:05,399 But you'll find that the students are very accepting. 138 00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:10,362 You have a sunny disposition. 139 00:11:12,615 --> 00:11:13,699 You got your schedule? 140 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,668 Well, isn't that wonderful? 141 00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,129 Janey, come in. 142 00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:30,799 This is Areola, our foreign exchange student. 143 00:11:31,008 --> 00:11:33,969 Janey will show you to your first class. 144 00:11:35,179 --> 00:11:36,514 Hi. 145 00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:43,896 I like your backpack. 146 00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:54,532 Dude, I heard there's an undercover reporter posing as a student. 147 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,825 Dude, no way, dude. 148 00:11:57,034 --> 00:12:00,371 Do you know where Mr. Keller's English class is? 149 00:12:00,579 --> 00:12:03,916 - Down the hall, on your left. - Sweet, dude. 150 00:12:04,708 --> 00:12:08,546 For the thousandth time, I said, "Swallow that thing." 151 00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,589 Am I right? 152 00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:18,138 How could Priscilla dump me, Jake Wyler? 153 00:12:18,347 --> 00:12:20,307 Who does she think she is? 154 00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:22,768 I got two words for you, Jake: 155 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:26,272 Prom queen, material. 156 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,650 Austin, she's an illusion. 157 00:12:29,858 --> 00:12:33,153 You take away the makeup, the clothes... 158 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:37,241 ...the way she wears her hair, the smell of her perfume... 159 00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:40,578 ...that cute face she makes when she's tonguing my balls... 160 00:12:43,747 --> 00:12:45,332 Look, she's replaceable. 161 00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,669 Given the right look, the right boyfriend... 162 00:12:48,877 --> 00:12:52,339 -...any girl could be prom queen. - I smell a bet. 163 00:12:52,548 --> 00:12:55,217 Jakey, Jakey, about to make a big... 164 00:12:55,759 --> 00:12:57,553 ...mistakey. 165 00:12:57,761 --> 00:13:01,265 I'll pick the most hopeless girl at this school... 166 00:13:01,473 --> 00:13:05,102 ...and I'll bet that you can't turn her into prom queen. 167 00:13:05,311 --> 00:13:06,937 You're on, Austin. 168 00:13:07,146 --> 00:13:09,106 I'll bet you lose that bet... 169 00:13:09,315 --> 00:13:12,943 ...but learn a much more valuable lesson, and win. 170 00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:14,403 In life, that is. 171 00:13:15,904 --> 00:13:16,947 You're both on. 172 00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:19,074 All right. 173 00:13:19,325 --> 00:13:23,912 Let's find you a prom queen, Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen. 174 00:13:24,913 --> 00:13:26,040 What about her? 175 00:13:26,248 --> 00:13:28,292 Baby's got back. Hunch, that is. 176 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,086 No, way too easy. 177 00:13:31,754 --> 00:13:33,922 I have no pigment 178 00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:35,799 Any girl with a guitar is hot. 179 00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:37,551 I need sunscreen 180 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,013 Even a hippie albino. She could be prom queen. 181 00:13:41,263 --> 00:13:43,432 What about the Fratelli sisters? 182 00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:46,935 So they're slightly disfigured and connected. 183 00:13:47,144 --> 00:13:51,065 But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick. 184 00:13:51,273 --> 00:13:53,442 - I'd do them! - I know, Reggie Ray. 185 00:13:53,692 --> 00:13:56,987 I'm looking for somebody really messed up. 186 00:13:57,196 --> 00:14:00,032 I'm talking about a real shitbomb. 187 00:14:04,286 --> 00:14:07,706 Well, bombs away. 188 00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:12,836 No, no, no, anyone but her! Not Janey Briggs. 189 00:14:13,545 --> 00:14:16,632 Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail. 190 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,010 She's got paint on her overalls! What is that? 191 00:14:20,177 --> 00:14:22,680 There's no way she could be prom queen. 192 00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:26,350 Damn, that shit's whack. 193 00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,520 Aim for the head! 194 00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:46,620 Can you imagine what they do in there? 195 00:14:46,787 --> 00:14:48,288 Holy cow. 196 00:14:48,497 --> 00:14:51,834 Guys, get your heads out of the gutter. 197 00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:55,170 It's a locker room. It's no sexier in there. .. 198 00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:57,005 ...than it is in here. 199 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,551 Molly, can you help me take off my panties? 200 00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:03,971 Hold on, I've got lotion on my hands. 201 00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:07,266 That's okay. You can just use your mouth. 202 00:15:15,607 --> 00:15:17,067 Thanks, Miss Peters. 203 00:15:17,735 --> 00:15:18,777 So... 204 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:22,865 ...who would like to share their poem with the class? 205 00:15:25,159 --> 00:15:28,162 Mr. Keller? Over here. Right here. Please. 206 00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:29,413 Anyone? 207 00:15:29,621 --> 00:15:31,999 Please pick me. I'm the one. 208 00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:33,375 Yes... 209 00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:35,544 ...Ricky. 210 00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:47,598 -"Ten Things I Love About Janey." - Oh, not again. 211 00:15:47,806 --> 00:15:49,266 By Ricky Lipman. 212 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:54,688 I love it when Janey talks I love it when Janey walks 213 00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:59,651 I love it when Janey drinks I love it when Janey blinks 214 00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:02,654 I love it when Janey says hi 215 00:16:03,071 --> 00:16:06,950 I love it when Janey says "See you in English" 216 00:16:10,454 --> 00:16:12,998 I love following Janey to the mall 217 00:16:17,002 --> 00:16:20,130 And I love collecting strands 218 00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:21,882 Of Janey's hair 219 00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,593 And rolling them up 220 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,515 Into little Janey hairballs 221 00:16:40,818 --> 00:16:45,572 Thank you, Ricky, for that interesting poem. 222 00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:51,161 - I'm not sure we should be doing this. - Quiet. I hear them. 223 00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:54,581 I can't believe what we just did, Molly. 224 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:59,628 It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that will never happen again. 225 00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,004 Shit, we missed it. 226 00:17:01,171 --> 00:17:02,214 Let's keep going. 227 00:17:04,132 --> 00:17:07,135 Hey, I found a buffalo nickel! 228 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,142 Jackpot. 229 00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:17,604 Girl go pee-pee not what I want to see-see. 230 00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:18,981 I agree-gree. 231 00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:23,026 Would you two please try and be a little open-minded? 232 00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:28,949 Class, let's open our books and continue with our poetry lesson. 233 00:17:29,157 --> 00:17:30,576 You know what I think about poetry? 234 00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,916 Oh, is that amusing? 235 00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:41,670 Is that what your generation considers humor? 236 00:17:49,386 --> 00:17:52,681 This make me kind of happy in pants. 237 00:17:58,645 --> 00:17:59,980 Goodness. 238 00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:03,358 That make me kind of sad in pants. 239 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:07,112 Shakespeare, Molière... 240 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,032 ...Oscar Wilde. 241 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,909 These were humorists. 242 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:15,829 I'm gonna be sick. 243 00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:20,542 The sublime poetic genius of a clever turn of phrase. 244 00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,711 That is true comedy. 245 00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:24,880 Heavens to Betsy. 246 00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:32,471 Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded, sophomoric excuse for wit... 247 00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:37,601 ...is merely a parade of nasty... 248 00:18:39,019 --> 00:18:40,187 ...filthy, vulgar... 249 00:18:42,439 --> 00:18:44,274 ...human excrement! 250 00:18:58,956 --> 00:19:00,415 Excuse me. 251 00:19:13,178 --> 00:19:16,139 - Hey, Janey. What's up? - Excuse me? 252 00:19:16,348 --> 00:19:20,143 Ever want to be the most popular girl in school? 253 00:19:20,352 --> 00:19:22,354 Anorexic, superficial? 254 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,690 A whore who lacks any real long-term goals? 255 00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:27,776 Exactly. 256 00:19:27,985 --> 00:19:31,738 If you're interested, I thought we could go out sometime. 257 00:19:31,947 --> 00:19:33,240 Be seen in public. 258 00:19:33,699 --> 00:19:37,786 - We haven't spoken in four years. - Actually, more like six. 259 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,373 That time when we were in line at that theater. .. 260 00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,251 ...I was actually saying "hey" to the person behind you. 261 00:19:52,342 --> 00:19:56,054 We're down a cheerleader for Friday's game against North Compton. .. 262 00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,432 ...and that squad always tries to bring it. 263 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,768 - Bring what, Priscilla? - Bring it. 264 00:20:01,977 --> 00:20:04,521 Right, but what is "it"? 265 00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:07,357 It's just what they bring, okay? 266 00:20:19,703 --> 00:20:21,580 New girl. 267 00:20:22,372 --> 00:20:27,377 I'm Sandy Sue. It is simply swell to meet all of you. 268 00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:30,464 Peachy. You brought a routine? 269 00:20:30,672 --> 00:20:31,965 Oh, you bet. 270 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,011 Give me an H Give me a U 271 00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:40,766 Give me a giant pussy-licking, ass-fucker cock shit! 272 00:20:44,269 --> 00:20:47,856 I'm sorry. That was my Tourette's. 273 00:20:49,149 --> 00:20:50,901 I don't know about her. 274 00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:55,906 Okay. Let's get one thing straight. This isn't a cheerocracy. 275 00:20:56,281 --> 00:20:57,616 I am the cheertator. 276 00:20:57,824 --> 00:21:01,745 I make the cheercisions, I will deal with the cheeronsequences. 277 00:21:02,746 --> 00:21:06,625 If there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. 278 00:21:07,375 --> 00:21:08,919 Thank you. 279 00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:15,550 Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass! Cum face! 280 00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:20,347 She'll cheer do. Great. 281 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,643 Goddamn it, let's go now! Thirty-two draw! 282 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:28,313 Goddamn it! Let's show some goddamn hustle! 283 00:21:28,522 --> 00:21:32,067 Look alive out there! This isn't a goddamn tryout! 284 00:21:32,275 --> 00:21:34,653 - Goddamn it! - Blue 21! Hut! 285 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,363 What the hell? 286 00:21:36,613 --> 00:21:39,032 Nobody's covering that hole! 287 00:21:39,241 --> 00:21:42,077 Goddamn it! Let's do it again! 288 00:21:43,453 --> 00:21:46,414 Marty! Marty! Marty! 289 00:21:47,165 --> 00:21:49,417 All right, Marty. 290 00:21:51,419 --> 00:21:53,922 - Get your ass in there. - You sure? 291 00:21:54,131 --> 00:21:56,550 Just go, goddamn it. 292 00:21:56,758 --> 00:21:58,969 Wyler, we got this wrapped up. 293 00:21:59,177 --> 00:22:02,472 All you gotta do is run out the clock. 294 00:22:05,225 --> 00:22:08,061 For God's sakes, don't try anything fancy! 295 00:22:08,270 --> 00:22:09,813 Goddamn it. 296 00:22:12,649 --> 00:22:14,442 Listen, boys. 297 00:22:14,651 --> 00:22:17,112 We got time for one more play. 298 00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,615 - I say we get the ball to Marty. - Damn. 299 00:22:20,824 --> 00:22:23,618 No, I'm just happy being on the field. 300 00:22:23,827 --> 00:22:28,248 Coach reckons we should take a knee. We're up 42-0. 301 00:22:28,456 --> 00:22:30,625 I don't care what coach reckons. 302 00:22:30,876 --> 00:22:33,420 You can't go through life being scared. 303 00:22:33,628 --> 00:22:36,965 If you do, you'll always wonder, "What if?" 304 00:22:37,632 --> 00:22:41,428 But if you go out there and you give it your all... 305 00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:42,888 ...that's heroic. 306 00:22:45,974 --> 00:22:47,976 Guys, I appreciate this, but-- 307 00:22:48,185 --> 00:22:50,478 That's the spirit! Ready? 308 00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:58,778 What are you doing? Get out of here. 309 00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:00,614 Not here. Down there. 310 00:23:00,822 --> 00:23:01,907 Over here? 311 00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,201 What are you doing? Over here! 312 00:23:04,743 --> 00:23:05,827 Here? 313 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:08,371 We love you, Marty! 314 00:23:08,580 --> 00:23:10,165 Set, hut! 315 00:23:21,009 --> 00:23:22,052 No. No. 316 00:23:24,137 --> 00:23:25,513 No, don't throw it to me. 317 00:23:27,015 --> 00:23:28,391 No! 318 00:23:54,417 --> 00:23:57,921 - Nice hands, Marty! - I did it. 319 00:23:58,797 --> 00:24:00,799 - I'm a hero! - Walk it off! 320 00:24:02,092 --> 00:24:05,720 All right, goddamn it! Hit the showers, goddamn it! 321 00:24:06,221 --> 00:24:09,182 Bunch of candy-asses. Lousy practice! 322 00:24:09,391 --> 00:24:12,143 We'll get our asses kicked Friday! 323 00:24:12,352 --> 00:24:15,689 What about fourth-string? I didn't get to practice. 324 00:24:15,897 --> 00:24:19,734 After all the shenanigans you pulled last season... 325 00:24:19,943 --> 00:24:24,197 ...thank God you're still in goddamn uniform, goddamn it! 326 00:24:48,805 --> 00:24:53,059 If my parents hear I got detention, no dessert for a week. 327 00:24:53,268 --> 00:24:55,353 We've disgraced ourselves and our families. 328 00:24:55,562 --> 00:25:01,609 Guys, guys, guys. I sense the morale's a little low. I say we make a pact... 329 00:25:02,110 --> 00:25:04,029 ...right here, right now. 330 00:25:04,237 --> 00:25:07,490 Before the end of the year, we all get laid! 331 00:25:08,074 --> 00:25:09,909 We always make that pact. 332 00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:13,038 We've been waiting for this since puberty. 333 00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:16,666 - Two weeks ago! - I just got first hair on ball. 334 00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,794 I don't think you understand. 335 00:25:20,253 --> 00:25:23,590 We'll become the masters of our sexual destiny. 336 00:25:23,798 --> 00:25:26,968 No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused. 337 00:25:28,136 --> 00:25:30,305 No longer steal Grandfather's porn. 338 00:25:30,513 --> 00:25:34,684 No longer will we use blindfolds when we jerk each other off. 339 00:25:35,143 --> 00:25:36,978 All right, that's it. 340 00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,734 What in God's name is going on? 341 00:25:43,693 --> 00:25:46,071 - What was that ruckus? - I no hear ruckus. 342 00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:50,450 - I heard a ruckus. - Can you describe this ruckus, sir? 343 00:25:50,658 --> 00:25:53,411 You better watch your tongue, young man! 344 00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,497 We were just sitting here. 345 00:25:55,705 --> 00:25:58,750 You just bought yourself another detention. 346 00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:01,795 - That's not fair. - Cry me a river, dickface. 347 00:26:02,003 --> 00:26:04,881 - You bought another one. - Eat my shorts. 348 00:26:05,423 --> 00:26:06,758 What was that? 349 00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:10,178 Eat my shorts! 350 00:26:10,387 --> 00:26:13,139 - Don't mess with a bull. - I'm shaking. 351 00:26:13,348 --> 00:26:15,016 - You got another. - Good! 352 00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:17,811 - You through? - Not even close, bud. 353 00:26:18,019 --> 00:26:19,813 - Want another one? - Yes. 354 00:26:20,021 --> 00:26:22,023 - You got it! - Good. 355 00:26:22,273 --> 00:26:24,192 - Another one. Had enough? - No. 356 00:26:24,442 --> 00:26:25,652 - Another one. - So? 357 00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:27,821 - I can keep going. - Go! 358 00:26:28,029 --> 00:26:30,198 - Eenie, meenie, minie-- - Mo. 359 00:26:30,407 --> 00:26:31,699 - Your mom was a-- - Ho. 360 00:26:31,908 --> 00:26:33,535 - He was a famous clown. - Bobo. 361 00:26:33,785 --> 00:26:36,079 Mitch, cut it out. 362 00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,208 - Another one. - But I was-- 363 00:26:40,417 --> 00:26:41,709 That's another one! 364 00:26:41,918 --> 00:26:44,712 - One more for Ox or for Mitch? - Another. 365 00:26:45,338 --> 00:26:47,632 - I confused. - Shut your hole, Wang Chung. 366 00:26:47,841 --> 00:26:51,761 I got you for the rest of your lives. You're mine. 367 00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:54,305 - Next time, I'm cracking skulls. - I'm cracking skulls. 368 00:27:10,405 --> 00:27:14,200 How many times have I said I'm not going to Princeton? 369 00:27:14,451 --> 00:27:16,286 I'm not pressuring you. 370 00:27:16,744 --> 00:27:18,413 Just give it four years. 371 00:27:18,621 --> 00:27:21,958 If you don't like it, you can work at my firm. 372 00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:24,961 I don't want your life! 373 00:27:25,545 --> 00:27:26,796 That's okay, son. 374 00:27:27,005 --> 00:27:29,466 I heard about what happened with Priscilla. 375 00:27:30,049 --> 00:27:31,301 The good news is... 376 00:27:31,509 --> 00:27:34,053 ...I've got the perfect rebound girl. 377 00:27:34,304 --> 00:27:35,597 Really? 378 00:27:36,890 --> 00:27:39,642 Beverly! Could you come in here? 379 00:27:45,899 --> 00:27:47,025 That's Mom! 380 00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:48,276 What do you say, kiddo? 381 00:27:49,986 --> 00:27:52,363 I'm gonna leave you two alone. 382 00:27:55,575 --> 00:27:56,993 Make me proud, son. 383 00:27:57,702 --> 00:27:59,787 So you in love? 384 00:28:02,373 --> 00:28:06,127 - Yeah, I think I am. - Well, who is this guy? 385 00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:10,298 His name is Blane. He's a senior. He's so beautiful. 386 00:28:16,054 --> 00:28:18,556 Janey? Sweetheart? 387 00:28:21,893 --> 00:28:23,228 Hi, Daddy. 388 00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:26,105 Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner. 389 00:28:26,648 --> 00:28:28,608 You were passed out on the table. 390 00:28:34,822 --> 00:28:36,407 Listen, honey. .. 391 00:28:37,033 --> 00:28:41,037 ...I may not always be coherent or conscious... 392 00:28:41,246 --> 00:28:45,416 ...but I know when my girl's got something on her mind. 393 00:28:46,084 --> 00:28:48,211 Well, there is this popular boy, Jake... 394 00:28:48,962 --> 00:28:52,173 Oh, sweetie. 395 00:28:54,217 --> 00:28:55,969 Jake knocked you up, didn't he? 396 00:28:56,928 --> 00:28:58,680 No, he asked me out. 397 00:29:00,515 --> 00:29:03,643 Do you like him? Are you attracted to him? 398 00:29:04,185 --> 00:29:06,646 I mean, would you give him head? 399 00:29:06,854 --> 00:29:09,691 He is kind of cute, but... 400 00:29:09,899 --> 00:29:12,277 ...he's always been a total jerk. 401 00:29:12,485 --> 00:29:14,988 It's weird that he's talking to me now. 402 00:29:15,196 --> 00:29:19,033 Especially after you've packed on a couple of pounds. 403 00:29:23,204 --> 00:29:24,998 What do you think I should do? 404 00:29:25,915 --> 00:29:27,584 Look, sweetie. 405 00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:32,338 I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are... 406 00:29:32,547 --> 00:29:35,883 ...because you're very, very special to me. 407 00:29:36,092 --> 00:29:40,054 If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants... 408 00:29:40,555 --> 00:29:42,015 ...well, then I'd say... 409 00:29:42,890 --> 00:29:43,975 ...go out with him. 410 00:29:44,851 --> 00:29:48,396 You could certainly use the popularity points. 411 00:29:48,813 --> 00:29:50,607 And if Jake likes you. .. 412 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:55,320 ...then maybe those kids will quit throwing bags of shit on the porch. 413 00:30:01,534 --> 00:30:03,202 I feel better. 414 00:30:05,788 --> 00:30:07,332 Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 415 00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:11,961 That's what I'm here for, pumpkin-tits. 416 00:30:19,719 --> 00:30:22,805 - I need to ask you a favor. - It's about time. 417 00:30:23,264 --> 00:30:24,390 No, not that. 418 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,021 You're the cruelest girl in high school. 419 00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,732 You're the only one who can help trick Janey into liking me. 420 00:30:34,651 --> 00:30:38,196 That girl with the glasses and the ponytail? 421 00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:40,823 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 422 00:30:42,533 --> 00:30:43,910 Well... 423 00:30:45,036 --> 00:30:47,789 ...it's going to be difficult. 424 00:30:48,331 --> 00:30:50,291 But I think I can help you. 425 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,502 Sit. 426 00:30:55,713 --> 00:30:57,340 For a price. 427 00:30:59,509 --> 00:31:02,303 And this time, I don't want your car. 428 00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:06,140 I want you. 429 00:31:06,432 --> 00:31:09,977 Catherine, that's disgusting. You're my sister. 430 00:31:10,228 --> 00:31:11,896 Only by blood. 431 00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:18,486 - What is wrong with this family? - Hey, do you want my help or not? 432 00:31:31,290 --> 00:31:33,918 There are three things you need to do... 433 00:31:34,085 --> 00:31:36,504 ...to have Janey eating out of your hand. 434 00:31:38,423 --> 00:31:40,341 First, you earn her trust. 435 00:31:40,550 --> 00:31:42,093 Come on, leave him alone! 436 00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:46,848 Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That's enough, okay? 437 00:31:50,226 --> 00:31:51,978 You little shit. 438 00:32:03,573 --> 00:32:05,324 Don't you guys mess with him again. 439 00:32:06,492 --> 00:32:10,872 Once you've got her trust, it's time to make her feel special. 440 00:32:11,956 --> 00:32:15,543 Pick a song with her name in it. That always works. 441 00:32:33,561 --> 00:32:35,605 Janey's got a gun 442 00:32:36,856 --> 00:32:38,399 Janey Briggs' got a gun 443 00:32:38,566 --> 00:32:41,444 She's got a gun! Janey's got a gun! 444 00:32:41,903 --> 00:32:43,362 What? 445 00:32:44,947 --> 00:32:46,991 Janey Briggs' got a gun 446 00:32:47,658 --> 00:32:51,871 So run away Run away from the pain 447 00:32:52,455 --> 00:32:53,623 Take it easy, miss. 448 00:32:53,831 --> 00:32:56,292 - Wait. - Get back here! 449 00:32:56,959 --> 00:32:59,337 Run away from the pain 450 00:32:59,962 --> 00:33:01,214 Hold her down. 451 00:33:03,925 --> 00:33:07,178 - Give me your hand! - Just give us the gun, Janey. 452 00:33:08,012 --> 00:33:10,515 After you've made her feel special... 453 00:33:11,474 --> 00:33:14,477 ...it's time to put the icing on the cake. 454 00:33:14,685 --> 00:33:17,271 I'm really glad you showed up, Janey. 455 00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:22,276 The only reason I came here was to tell you to leave me alone. 456 00:33:22,527 --> 00:33:25,530 You know, I was just making a snack. 457 00:33:25,780 --> 00:33:27,490 You want one? 458 00:33:28,157 --> 00:33:32,036 - No. Listen, Jake-- - I'll be right back. 459 00:33:32,829 --> 00:33:33,871 But I-- 460 00:34:09,407 --> 00:34:10,825 Hungry? 461 00:34:13,953 --> 00:34:15,413 I don't like sundaes. 462 00:34:15,663 --> 00:34:19,083 It's not a sundae, it's a banana split. 463 00:34:21,711 --> 00:34:25,256 I don't like those, either. Goodbye, Jake. 464 00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:43,441 I left some money on the kitchen counter. 465 00:34:43,649 --> 00:34:46,068 Emergency numbers are by the phone. 466 00:34:46,277 --> 00:34:48,779 And remember, son: No parties. 467 00:34:49,030 --> 00:34:50,239 I know, Dad. 468 00:34:50,615 --> 00:34:52,408 Keg coming through. Hey. 469 00:34:53,117 --> 00:34:54,410 What's up, man? 470 00:34:54,619 --> 00:34:56,621 We're trusting you, Preston. 471 00:34:56,829 --> 00:35:01,083 - Where do you want the speakers? - In the dining room. 472 00:35:01,292 --> 00:35:03,544 You guys should hit the road. 473 00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:06,339 I'm taking your Ferrari to buy hookers. 474 00:35:06,547 --> 00:35:09,175 We'll call you later to check in. 475 00:35:09,383 --> 00:35:11,969 I'll be so high, I won't know where the phone is. 476 00:35:12,595 --> 00:35:14,388 That's my boy. 477 00:35:17,767 --> 00:35:20,019 Jake, what are you doing here? 478 00:35:20,227 --> 00:35:22,897 I'm taking you to Preston's big party. 479 00:35:23,481 --> 00:35:24,565 I can't. 480 00:35:24,774 --> 00:35:28,945 I'm not dressed to go to a party. I'm a complete mess. 481 00:35:29,153 --> 00:35:32,740 I'd say you're one big fucking train wreck. 482 00:35:36,827 --> 00:35:38,371 Do I know you? 483 00:35:54,261 --> 00:35:56,889 That's it. I've got it. 484 00:35:58,015 --> 00:35:59,225 What? 485 00:35:59,433 --> 00:36:02,436 It might seem crazy, but you'll have to trust me. 486 00:36:31,257 --> 00:36:32,550 That's it. 487 00:36:33,217 --> 00:36:35,553 I did it. I'm a miracle worker. 488 00:36:39,056 --> 00:36:40,683 Gentlemen... 489 00:36:40,891 --> 00:36:44,020 ...may I present to you the new and improved... 490 00:36:44,478 --> 00:36:45,563 ...Janey Briggs. 491 00:37:21,432 --> 00:37:25,603 Congratulations. You just got your first slow-motion entrance. 492 00:37:47,958 --> 00:37:49,418 I'm okay! 493 00:37:50,294 --> 00:37:51,587 Janey? 494 00:37:53,589 --> 00:37:57,218 Come on out of there, honey. Quit farting around. 495 00:38:06,102 --> 00:38:08,979 - Got your mom's car keys? - Check. 496 00:38:11,148 --> 00:38:12,775 - Sleeping bags. - Check. 497 00:38:12,983 --> 00:38:14,026 - Condoms. - Check. 498 00:38:14,193 --> 00:38:19,365 Three pubescent libidos to take us on a series of wild adventures. 499 00:38:19,573 --> 00:38:21,909 Check! Road trip! 500 00:38:37,299 --> 00:38:38,509 We here. 501 00:38:39,009 --> 00:38:43,013 Gentlemen, tonight we go to our first high-school party. 502 00:38:43,556 --> 00:38:46,809 This is the place to buzz the Brillo. 503 00:38:47,017 --> 00:38:49,103 How you plan on buzzing Brillo? 504 00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:54,150 With this letter. Amanda Becker will know the truth: 505 00:38:54,358 --> 00:38:57,069 I've loved her since I first saw her. 506 00:38:58,279 --> 00:38:59,613 Welcome to the party. 507 00:38:59,822 --> 00:39:03,325 If you're going to have sex, do it in my parents' bedroom. 508 00:39:05,202 --> 00:39:09,582 - Does she go to our school? - It's not even the same person. 509 00:39:09,790 --> 00:39:12,501 Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls? 510 00:39:12,710 --> 00:39:14,962 How did you talk me into this? 511 00:39:15,171 --> 00:39:19,884 Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's lost her glasses and her ponytail. 512 00:39:20,050 --> 00:39:23,262 I'm going to go fuck a complete stranger. 513 00:39:23,470 --> 00:39:26,348 - Hey, I'm a complete stranger. - I'm a complete stranger. 514 00:39:28,851 --> 00:39:32,354 Relax, all right? It's going to be okay. 515 00:39:32,897 --> 00:39:33,939 Nice turtleneck. 516 00:39:34,148 --> 00:39:36,066 What's your name? 517 00:39:36,275 --> 00:39:39,612 I'm Sandy Sue. Limp-dick fag fucker! 518 00:39:39,820 --> 00:39:41,864 Who told you that? Alison? 519 00:39:42,114 --> 00:39:44,825 Alison was bitter when we broke up. 520 00:39:45,034 --> 00:39:49,538 - Completely fake. - Yeah, that's not her real hair color. 521 00:39:49,747 --> 00:39:53,918 - She's wearing the same outfit as me. - It looks much better on you. 522 00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:57,004 Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now. 523 00:40:06,722 --> 00:40:08,390 What's going on? 524 00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:14,605 We can't talk until she starts moving again. 525 00:40:19,568 --> 00:40:21,362 She took forever this time. 526 00:40:30,788 --> 00:40:32,539 What are you doing here? 527 00:40:35,251 --> 00:40:36,502 What do you mean? 528 00:40:36,710 --> 00:40:40,464 I'm supposed to be the only black guy at this party. 529 00:40:41,632 --> 00:40:45,427 - Damn. Shit. - Yeah, I know. 530 00:40:45,594 --> 00:40:46,720 - It's whack. - It's whack. 531 00:40:46,887 --> 00:40:47,930 Hey, man, my bad. 532 00:40:48,138 --> 00:40:49,932 - Take this. - Thanks. 533 00:40:50,140 --> 00:40:51,517 Do your thing. 534 00:40:52,142 --> 00:40:55,396 - Peace out, brother. - Honest mistake. 535 00:41:03,362 --> 00:41:06,115 Hi, my name is Catherine. 536 00:41:06,782 --> 00:41:11,120 Yeah, I know. We just had sex five minutes ago. 537 00:41:15,749 --> 00:41:18,002 Not scoring any cock, either? 538 00:41:18,210 --> 00:41:22,256 Cock? I've never even been kissed. 539 00:41:25,467 --> 00:41:29,888 What up, my yellow brothers? Chinks in the house! 540 00:41:39,898 --> 00:41:44,069 Reggie Ray, have you seen Janey anywhere? 541 00:41:44,987 --> 00:41:47,865 It's a good night for smoking. 542 00:41:48,073 --> 00:41:50,326 Ain't that right, Sausage? 543 00:41:57,958 --> 00:42:01,628 Okay, now close your eyes and wet your lips. 544 00:42:01,879 --> 00:42:05,466 - Are you for real? - Do you want to learn or not? 545 00:42:07,009 --> 00:42:08,594 I guess. 546 00:42:19,897 --> 00:42:25,235 - See? That wasn't so scary. - It was nothing. 547 00:42:26,653 --> 00:42:28,072 Okay. 548 00:42:29,198 --> 00:42:31,200 Let's try again. 549 00:42:31,909 --> 00:42:35,496 Only this time, I'm gonna stick my tongue in your mouth. 550 00:42:36,538 --> 00:42:41,085 And when I do that, I want you to massage my tongue with yours. 551 00:42:41,293 --> 00:42:45,714 - And that's what first base is. - Okay. 552 00:42:46,006 --> 00:42:47,716 Eyes closed. 553 00:43:13,075 --> 00:43:15,244 That was cool. 554 00:43:17,538 --> 00:43:18,580 Now... 555 00:43:19,415 --> 00:43:22,000 ...have you ever eaten pussy before? 556 00:43:25,254 --> 00:43:28,173 You call this a party? 557 00:43:28,382 --> 00:43:30,968 I'm a golden goddess! 558 00:43:31,176 --> 00:43:34,054 - Show us how drunk you are! - Go for it! 559 00:43:40,477 --> 00:43:42,688 You're a unique rebel, Janey! 560 00:43:43,439 --> 00:43:45,315 Janey, are you all right? 561 00:43:46,233 --> 00:43:51,321 - I told you not to let me drink. - I gave you a nonalcoholic beer. 562 00:43:55,784 --> 00:43:57,411 What the hell are you doing here? 563 00:43:57,619 --> 00:43:59,913 I-- I was invited. 564 00:44:00,122 --> 00:44:04,960 Look, you may have lost those glasses and that ponytail thing... 565 00:44:05,169 --> 00:44:08,130 ...but you're still a loser. 566 00:44:13,844 --> 00:44:17,055 Look at that. Oh, my God. 567 00:44:17,306 --> 00:44:19,516 That's going to stain. 568 00:44:24,646 --> 00:44:26,815 You're not going to cry now, are you? 569 00:45:09,942 --> 00:45:14,071 Look, you can't just start a slow clap at any old time. 570 00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:15,781 You gotta wait for the right moment. 571 00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:19,993 But how am I going to know when it's the right moment? 572 00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:23,997 You'll know. 573 00:45:37,094 --> 00:45:39,263 Nobody's allowed down here. 574 00:45:39,763 --> 00:45:41,473 Janey, I just thought-- 575 00:45:41,682 --> 00:45:44,935 How did you get in here? I deadbolted the door. 576 00:45:46,436 --> 00:45:48,397 There's a hole in the side of your house. 577 00:45:54,403 --> 00:45:55,445 Who's that? 578 00:45:56,530 --> 00:45:59,950 - It's my mother. - You have her eyes. 579 00:46:02,202 --> 00:46:03,620 She died when I was 6. 580 00:46:05,998 --> 00:46:07,040 I'm sorry. 581 00:46:08,083 --> 00:46:10,335 I remember it like it was yesterday. 582 00:46:11,169 --> 00:46:16,842 Christmas, 1989. Dad had been fired from the zipper factory. 583 00:46:17,217 --> 00:46:20,095 Mom was pulling in tricks to make ends meet. 584 00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:22,514 Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot. 585 00:46:23,932 --> 00:46:27,269 And all I wanted was a little Betsy Wetsy doll. 586 00:46:27,728 --> 00:46:32,065 I remember those. Push her belly, she'd piss all over herself. 587 00:46:32,899 --> 00:46:36,111 She said she was going out to get my dad a bottle of gin. .. 588 00:46:37,154 --> 00:46:39,573 ...but I knew she was going to get me that present. 589 00:46:41,116 --> 00:46:45,120 It was raining really hard that night... 590 00:46:45,287 --> 00:46:48,123 ...and the roads were slippery. 591 00:46:48,624 --> 00:46:51,960 Oh, God, Janey. A car accident. 592 00:46:52,169 --> 00:46:54,296 No. Cancer. 593 00:46:58,008 --> 00:47:01,553 I had to take on all of her responsibilities: 594 00:47:01,762 --> 00:47:05,307 Cooking and cleaning and breast-feeding Mitch. 595 00:47:05,515 --> 00:47:08,685 It's in the past. Think about your future. 596 00:47:08,894 --> 00:47:10,562 Look how talented you are. 597 00:47:11,521 --> 00:47:16,109 I have this dream of just hopping on a plane and going to Paris. 598 00:47:16,318 --> 00:47:19,321 There's an art school, but I can't afford it. 599 00:47:19,696 --> 00:47:24,076 Unless I raise $26,000 before the admissions cutoff. 600 00:47:24,284 --> 00:47:29,665 My parents give a scholarship to girls who can't get into art school. 601 00:47:29,956 --> 00:47:31,792 Really? That's amazing. 602 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:36,338 This year we gave it to Lupe, the Mexican finger painter. 603 00:47:36,546 --> 00:47:38,590 I think you'd really like her work. 604 00:47:40,217 --> 00:47:43,929 Sometimes I wish my life was a fairy tale... 605 00:47:44,137 --> 00:47:47,349 ...and some guy would come and take me away. 606 00:48:11,998 --> 00:48:13,458 - I was-- My-- - Yeah-- 607 00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:18,004 - My eyes were shut. - And we couldn't even-- Yeah. Totally. 608 00:48:25,512 --> 00:48:27,931 I'm gonna-- I'm gonna-- 609 00:48:28,140 --> 00:48:29,975 - I'm going to go. - Okay. 610 00:48:30,892 --> 00:48:33,687 Congratulations to the men and women nominated for prom queen. 611 00:48:44,614 --> 00:48:48,660 Think you'll be prom queen? Well, think again, Janey. 612 00:48:48,869 --> 00:48:52,748 You put the "ass" in "embarrassment." The "boo" in "taboo." 613 00:48:52,914 --> 00:48:55,959 And the "suck" in "liposuction." 614 00:48:59,504 --> 00:49:01,214 Is that the best you can do? 615 00:49:02,674 --> 00:49:03,842 No. 616 00:49:04,593 --> 00:49:07,554 You also put the "brat" in "bratwurst." 617 00:49:07,971 --> 00:49:10,724 And the "eew" in "jujitsu." 618 00:49:10,891 --> 00:49:15,896 And the "ism" in "This is all just a defense mechanism." 619 00:49:18,023 --> 00:49:22,402 So I told her, "Take the old lady and send your mama back." 620 00:49:24,154 --> 00:49:28,950 So you asked your four-eyed circus freak to the prom yet? 621 00:49:29,201 --> 00:49:31,328 We resent that! 622 00:49:32,621 --> 00:49:34,498 Why don't you just drop it, Austin? 623 00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:40,837 Jake made a few paint stains in his pants thinking about Janey. 624 00:49:41,630 --> 00:49:43,715 It's just a bet. Okay, man? 625 00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:47,761 You always had a thing for ugly girls... 626 00:49:48,011 --> 00:49:50,764 ...Mr. I-Have- a-Thing-For-Ugly-Girls. 627 00:49:53,934 --> 00:49:55,435 You mean Janey? 628 00:49:55,644 --> 00:49:59,189 She looks as good as a dumpster full of gristles. 629 00:49:59,397 --> 00:50:01,107 Bling-bling. 630 00:50:03,527 --> 00:50:05,320 Janey Briggs... 631 00:50:06,112 --> 00:50:07,739 ...is hot. 632 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,676 - Hey, Janey. - Hey, Jake. 633 00:50:27,884 --> 00:50:30,804 I've been doing a lot of thinking... 634 00:50:31,012 --> 00:50:34,307 ...and there's something I want to ask you. 635 00:50:36,017 --> 00:50:38,854 I don't want to make a big deal of it... 636 00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:42,232 ...so I'm just gonna lay it out there, okay? 637 00:50:44,276 --> 00:50:46,194 Here it is. 638 00:50:48,196 --> 00:50:51,324 See, I don't like making big speeches. 639 00:50:51,575 --> 00:50:55,245 I'm a straight shooter. I call them like I see them. 640 00:50:55,704 --> 00:50:57,664 What you see is what you get. 641 00:50:58,331 --> 00:51:02,544 Ain't nobody gonna break my stride. Ain't nobody gonna slow me down. 642 00:51:03,628 --> 00:51:06,965 Jake, are you trying to ask me to the. ...? 643 00:51:07,173 --> 00:51:08,216 Yeah. 644 00:51:09,509 --> 00:51:11,595 I'd love to go with you. 645 00:51:16,266 --> 00:51:18,727 Great. Great. 646 00:51:21,855 --> 00:51:23,064 I'll see you in English. 647 00:51:27,736 --> 00:51:30,488 It's time to play some football! 648 00:51:30,906 --> 00:51:35,952 The John Hughes Wasps defend their title against the North Compton Wildcats. 649 00:51:53,803 --> 00:51:55,430 Goddamn! 650 00:52:02,938 --> 00:52:05,941 That was the fastest first half of football I've ever seen. 651 00:52:10,904 --> 00:52:14,616 We saw you at our practice. I know you stole our routine. 652 00:52:14,824 --> 00:52:19,579 I don't know what you mean. We do our own cheers. Right, girls? 653 00:52:19,788 --> 00:52:20,830 That's right. 654 00:52:21,164 --> 00:52:24,125 Well, then, you better bring it. 655 00:52:24,376 --> 00:52:26,628 Oh, it's already been broughten. 656 00:52:27,170 --> 00:52:29,673 Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah! 657 00:52:29,839 --> 00:52:33,134 We are the North Compton Wildcats 658 00:52:33,343 --> 00:52:35,011 We're black, we know it 659 00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:37,347 We shake our big booties and show it 660 00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:39,557 We ain't white We ain't white 661 00:52:39,808 --> 00:52:42,936 We definitely ain't white Break it down, niggas 662 00:52:48,775 --> 00:52:51,653 Damn, those bitches represent! 663 00:53:01,746 --> 00:53:03,707 - Reggie Ray. - I smell a bet. 664 00:53:04,833 --> 00:53:06,209 You all right? 665 00:53:06,543 --> 00:53:09,546 Coach says it's okay to bleed from the ears. 666 00:53:14,926 --> 00:53:16,678 I got to go back out on the field. 667 00:53:19,389 --> 00:53:22,392 All right. Be careful. You only have three-- 668 00:53:23,351 --> 00:53:26,855 Two concussions left. Reggie Ray. 669 00:53:27,063 --> 00:53:28,648 And we're back. 670 00:53:30,567 --> 00:53:32,444 Let's go, Wasps! 671 00:53:39,034 --> 00:53:40,785 Blue 33! Set! 672 00:53:43,038 --> 00:53:44,706 That's defense right there. 673 00:53:45,957 --> 00:53:48,084 Say "good day" to Reggie Ray. 674 00:53:50,587 --> 00:53:53,673 Sit down. He got the wind knocked out of him. 675 00:53:54,299 --> 00:53:57,343 - Come on, Reggie Ray, get up! - Reggie Ray. 676 00:53:57,510 --> 00:53:59,763 You still have another concussion! 677 00:54:02,974 --> 00:54:04,017 Come on, dog! 678 00:54:04,726 --> 00:54:06,019 It doesn't look good, coach. 679 00:54:07,270 --> 00:54:09,439 - Can he play? - He's in a coma. 680 00:54:09,606 --> 00:54:12,734 Answer my question! Can he play? 681 00:54:12,942 --> 00:54:15,737 He can't breathe. We gotta get him to a hospital. 682 00:54:15,904 --> 00:54:17,113 Listen to me right now! 683 00:54:17,530 --> 00:54:22,869 I don't care what you have to do! He stays in the game, goddamn it! 684 00:54:34,798 --> 00:54:37,759 Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy. 685 00:54:38,218 --> 00:54:39,511 Blue 15! 686 00:54:42,305 --> 00:54:43,807 Set! Hut! 687 00:54:47,769 --> 00:54:49,896 Goddamn it, Reggie Ray! 688 00:54:50,855 --> 00:54:52,232 Oh, shit. 689 00:55:11,459 --> 00:55:14,504 Wham, bam! What the fuck just happened? 690 00:55:17,632 --> 00:55:22,345 Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice. You're the only quarterback I've got. 691 00:55:23,847 --> 00:55:28,101 - I say give the ball to Marty. - I'm just happy being on the field. 692 00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:32,564 - You'll always wonder, "What if?" - I'm a hero! 693 00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,610 Goddamn it! Get in the game! 694 00:55:37,819 --> 00:55:39,445 You're our only chance! 695 00:55:40,822 --> 00:55:44,868 - You're a pussy, Wyler! - Do it for Marty's torso! 696 00:55:48,496 --> 00:55:50,206 You got butterflies, huh? 697 00:55:50,582 --> 00:55:51,666 Who are you? 698 00:55:59,424 --> 00:56:00,592 I'm the wise janitor. 699 00:56:01,217 --> 00:56:04,345 I impart knowledge and help youngsters overcome their fears. 700 00:56:04,554 --> 00:56:06,723 I also replace the urinal cakes. 701 00:56:06,931 --> 00:56:09,642 I'm here to help you get your throw back. 702 00:56:10,435 --> 00:56:12,353 - How did you--? - I've been watching. 703 00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:17,233 During practice, in the hallways, in the lockers, taking a shower... 704 00:56:17,442 --> 00:56:19,319 ...whipping boys with a wet towel. 705 00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:25,200 - Can tell you kind of like that. - Hey! Let's get back to the throw. 706 00:56:25,408 --> 00:56:28,161 What happened to Marty wasn't your fault. 707 00:56:28,328 --> 00:56:29,370 Really? 708 00:56:29,746 --> 00:56:32,832 Okay, it was. But you got to get over it. 709 00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:34,542 It could've happened to anybody. 710 00:56:35,585 --> 00:56:39,005 Anybody that disobeyed the coach and the team... 711 00:56:39,214 --> 00:56:44,177 ...and threw to a 90-pound kid who shouldn't have been on the field. 712 00:56:44,385 --> 00:56:48,264 Stop! How is any of this supposed to be helping me? 713 00:56:48,473 --> 00:56:50,558 Right. Forget what I said. 714 00:56:50,767 --> 00:56:55,438 You got to go out there, believe in the ball and throw yourself. 715 00:56:55,772 --> 00:56:57,565 You can do it. 716 00:57:02,445 --> 00:57:04,239 I'm going out there. 717 00:57:10,995 --> 00:57:14,540 Only 25 seconds remaining, and the fate of the season... 718 00:57:14,749 --> 00:57:19,045 ...rests in the hands of fourth-string quarterback Jake Wyler. 719 00:57:19,254 --> 00:57:22,382 Translation: We're shit out of luck. 720 00:57:22,548 --> 00:57:24,926 - Give me a W! - W! 721 00:57:25,093 --> 00:57:27,220 - Give me a Y! - Y! 722 00:57:27,428 --> 00:57:30,682 Give me a-- Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 723 00:57:31,474 --> 00:57:34,102 Lick my pussy ass cock shit! 724 00:57:38,398 --> 00:57:39,565 Blue 83! 725 00:57:39,816 --> 00:57:41,276 Blue 83! 726 00:57:42,485 --> 00:57:44,320 I reckon I'm feeling better. 727 00:57:44,570 --> 00:57:45,905 Set! Hut! 728 00:58:29,866 --> 00:58:31,534 Oh, shit. 729 00:58:45,798 --> 00:58:50,303 That has to be the worst pass I've ever seen, ever. 730 00:58:52,513 --> 00:58:54,474 What the hell was that? 731 00:59:22,585 --> 00:59:24,337 Jake? 732 00:59:26,422 --> 00:59:27,965 Jake. 733 00:59:29,592 --> 00:59:30,802 Hey. 734 00:59:31,552 --> 00:59:34,889 - You did great out there. - I blew the game, Janey. 735 00:59:35,098 --> 00:59:36,516 I let everyone down. 736 00:59:36,724 --> 00:59:41,604 It's just a football game, Jake. Besides... 737 00:59:42,730 --> 00:59:44,649 ...you didn't let me down. 738 00:59:45,233 --> 00:59:46,484 Really? 739 00:59:47,777 --> 00:59:50,571 Jake, you've taught me to be myself. 740 00:59:50,738 --> 00:59:53,783 You never saw me as the girl in glasses. 741 00:59:53,991 --> 00:59:55,868 Don't forget the paint-covered overalls. 742 00:59:56,744 --> 00:59:59,455 Right, you never noticed those either. 743 01:00:00,456 --> 01:00:03,000 You taught me a lot about myself too. 744 01:00:03,376 --> 01:00:07,630 Oh, Jake. Nothing could ever come between us now. 745 01:00:07,839 --> 01:00:09,132 Jake Wyler. 746 01:00:10,925 --> 01:00:14,345 Congratulations. You blew my perfect season. 747 01:00:14,554 --> 01:00:18,516 - Señor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season. - What do you want, Austin? 748 01:00:18,766 --> 01:00:19,809 A life. 749 01:00:21,519 --> 01:00:22,895 And payback. 750 01:00:23,312 --> 01:00:26,482 - Come on, don't do this. - No, I'll hang around. 751 01:00:26,691 --> 01:00:31,654 Maybe tell Janey a little S-E-C-R-A-T-P... 752 01:00:35,074 --> 01:00:36,868 What's going on? 753 01:00:37,034 --> 01:00:38,786 Austin. 754 01:00:38,953 --> 01:00:40,037 This isn't funny! 755 01:00:41,414 --> 01:00:42,540 No. 756 01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:45,209 I don't believe it. 757 01:00:45,418 --> 01:00:50,131 I said I'd turn you into prom queen when I thought you were ugly... 758 01:00:50,339 --> 01:00:55,136 ...the girl with no friends who was dirt poor and smelled a little funky. 759 01:00:56,012 --> 01:00:58,431 Look, I made a mistake. 760 01:00:59,015 --> 01:01:02,894 If I could go back, I never would've made that stupid bet. 761 01:01:06,063 --> 01:01:07,148 What bet? 762 01:01:11,110 --> 01:01:13,821 I never said anything about a bet. 763 01:01:24,665 --> 01:01:25,833 All I said was: 764 01:01:26,042 --> 01:01:27,835 "I'm pretending to whisper a big secret... 765 01:01:28,044 --> 01:01:30,087 ...so Jake thinks I'm telling you a secret... 766 01:01:30,254 --> 01:01:32,757 ...that will cause him to break into a hysterical confession... 767 01:01:32,924 --> 01:01:38,179 ...revealing a secret and confirming everything I whispered in your ear." 768 01:02:04,747 --> 01:02:08,125 I wish I didn't make that bet 769 01:02:08,334 --> 01:02:11,921 That's not the guy I want to be 770 01:02:12,129 --> 01:02:15,633 If I could just turn back the clock 771 01:02:15,841 --> 01:02:20,805 Then Janey would still be with me 772 01:02:23,641 --> 01:02:26,811 Tell me, Mom, what should I do? 773 01:02:27,144 --> 01:02:28,479 I love this boy 774 01:02:28,646 --> 01:02:35,486 But he has been untrue 775 01:02:36,487 --> 01:02:39,407 I'll do my best to make things right 776 01:02:40,491 --> 01:02:44,120 I wish we could resolve this fight 777 01:02:44,996 --> 01:02:46,747 It could happen 778 01:02:46,914 --> 01:02:48,457 It could happen 779 01:02:48,666 --> 01:02:52,795 - At the prom tonight - At the prom tonight 780 01:02:58,384 --> 01:03:01,345 I'm getting pussy no matter what 781 01:03:01,554 --> 01:03:04,307 Even if it with dirty slut 782 01:03:04,515 --> 01:03:07,143 True love is what I want the most 783 01:03:07,351 --> 01:03:10,938 I just jerked off in your French toast 784 01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:17,236 So what if we have the same mother 785 01:03:17,403 --> 01:03:22,783 Tonight I'm going to fuck my brother 786 01:03:22,950 --> 01:03:25,786 In a few hours I'll be queen of the prom 787 01:03:28,706 --> 01:03:32,335 I've been an alcoholic Since my first tour in 'Nam 788 01:03:34,712 --> 01:03:38,382 I asked Janey to the prom And she doesn't know why 789 01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:44,930 I'm only in the song Because I'm a black guy 790 01:03:47,808 --> 01:03:52,605 I have no money I have to make my own dress 791 01:03:54,398 --> 01:04:00,112 Look at me My breasts are perky, yes 792 01:04:00,279 --> 01:04:03,240 I'm gonna win her back No matter what it takes 793 01:04:03,449 --> 01:04:09,705 Here I go I'm gonna forget about Jake 794 01:04:11,457 --> 01:04:13,376 Prom tonight 795 01:04:15,378 --> 01:04:17,254 Prom tonight 796 01:04:18,756 --> 01:04:20,132 Prom tonight 797 01:04:25,638 --> 01:04:28,307 It's gonna happen Gonna happen 798 01:04:31,977 --> 01:04:38,776 At the prom 799 01:04:38,943 --> 01:04:39,985 Tonight 800 01:04:59,171 --> 01:05:05,219 When I was a freshman, I threw 176 touchdown passes. 801 01:05:05,469 --> 01:05:10,808 My sophomore year, I ran 14 in on my own with a sprained ankle... 802 01:05:11,016 --> 01:05:15,312 ...a broken phalange, a ruptured duodenum and a subdermal hematoma. 803 01:05:32,413 --> 01:05:34,498 I bet she great bonk. 804 01:05:34,707 --> 01:05:38,127 Excuse me, Bruce? No. You don't bonk Amanda Becker. 805 01:05:38,711 --> 01:05:42,506 You make sweet, sweet love to her. 806 01:05:43,215 --> 01:05:45,426 Amanda Becker's like a flower. 807 01:05:46,093 --> 01:05:47,553 You smell her. 808 01:05:47,762 --> 01:05:49,722 You touch her gently. 809 01:05:50,139 --> 01:05:54,769 You admire the beauty. You watch it blossom. 810 01:05:55,352 --> 01:05:59,940 And you thank God he created something so perfect. 811 01:06:02,610 --> 01:06:04,111 Go to her. 812 01:06:16,707 --> 01:06:18,751 Be strong, Mitch! 813 01:06:31,806 --> 01:06:33,265 What do you expect from me? 814 01:06:35,226 --> 01:06:39,730 - Do you think I'll have sex with you? - No! You don't understand. 815 01:06:39,939 --> 01:06:42,066 Because I am not a cheap slut. 816 01:06:42,274 --> 01:06:45,277 I don't screw every pathetic guy that gives me a letter. 817 01:06:48,906 --> 01:06:50,199 I give them handjobs. 818 01:06:59,375 --> 01:07:02,795 - Want to dance? - Only if we're horizontal. 819 01:07:03,295 --> 01:07:05,422 I totally heard that. 820 01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:21,397 We're dancing. 821 01:07:42,668 --> 01:07:43,752 It's funny. 822 01:07:43,919 --> 01:07:47,673 You'd never suspect everyone here is a professional dancer. 823 01:08:02,104 --> 01:08:03,439 Oh, God. No. 824 01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:05,816 I want to do it right here on the dance floor. 825 01:08:05,983 --> 01:08:07,151 Janey. 826 01:08:07,359 --> 01:08:10,613 Don't you forget our deal. She wins, you're mine. 827 01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:27,004 And now the moment every popular guy who's made a bet... 828 01:08:27,212 --> 01:08:31,800 ...to turn a uniquely rebellious girl into prom queen has been waiting for: 829 01:08:31,967 --> 01:08:35,346 The announcement of the prom king and queen. 830 01:08:35,554 --> 01:08:38,057 This year's prom king is... 831 01:08:38,724 --> 01:08:39,767 Marty! 832 01:08:40,517 --> 01:08:41,685 ...Jake Wyler! 833 01:08:57,159 --> 01:08:58,577 Way to go, Jake! 834 01:08:59,203 --> 01:09:02,039 This year's prom queen is.. .. 835 01:09:02,247 --> 01:09:03,540 You got it, Priscilla! 836 01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:07,336 - It's in the bag, Priscilla. - I don't believe it. It's a tie. 837 01:09:07,836 --> 01:09:08,879 A tie? 838 01:09:09,046 --> 01:09:10,756 - Holy shit! - Oh, my God. 839 01:09:12,383 --> 01:09:14,718 Your new prom queens are. .. 840 01:09:16,136 --> 01:09:19,598 -...Kara and Sara Fratelli. - Fuck. 841 01:09:20,641 --> 01:09:24,478 - Oh, my God! - They deserve it. 842 01:09:26,897 --> 01:09:28,232 Congratulations! 843 01:09:30,526 --> 01:09:34,238 There we go! Your king and queen. 844 01:09:40,244 --> 01:09:43,622 I say we make like a tree and branch... 845 01:09:44,415 --> 01:09:46,166 ...out of here. 846 01:09:47,918 --> 01:09:49,795 All right, Kara and Sara. 847 01:09:49,962 --> 01:09:53,590 Now, it is traditional for the king and queen... 848 01:09:53,799 --> 01:09:56,802 -...to share a ceremonial dance. - Come here. 849 01:10:07,813 --> 01:10:09,398 You smell good. 850 01:10:22,953 --> 01:10:24,997 Janey. 851 01:10:29,043 --> 01:10:31,253 Do you know where Austin went? 852 01:10:31,462 --> 01:10:35,466 I know he rented a room at the Sunrise Motel. Room number six. 853 01:10:35,674 --> 01:10:38,844 Past the ice dispenser. Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far. 854 01:10:39,887 --> 01:10:42,556 Oh, and the door will not be locked. 855 01:10:45,142 --> 01:10:46,643 That's all I know. 856 01:10:47,728 --> 01:10:49,021 Thanks, Malik. 857 01:10:50,064 --> 01:10:56,278 You know, you're intelligent and insightful. You don't get the respect you deserve. 858 01:10:58,864 --> 01:11:00,157 You really mean that, Jake? 859 01:11:00,866 --> 01:11:04,620 That's great! I've always wanted to discuss with you the repercussions-- 860 01:11:04,787 --> 01:11:06,705 I actually got to go. Sorry. 861 01:11:07,456 --> 01:11:08,499 Motherfucker. 862 01:11:08,707 --> 01:11:10,626 Hold it right there, mister. 863 01:11:10,959 --> 01:11:16,215 I am not going to let you hurt Janey again, okay? Besides, I love her. 864 01:11:16,423 --> 01:11:17,591 Well, so do I. 865 01:11:18,550 --> 01:11:23,222 But I'm the best friend, and I've been in front of her the whole time... 866 01:11:23,430 --> 01:11:27,559 ...and she just doesn't realize it yet, but she will. 867 01:11:28,310 --> 01:11:31,563 I'm the cool guy who's learned the error of his ways. 868 01:11:31,897 --> 01:11:35,275 She'll forgive my mistakes and realize I love her. 869 01:11:37,069 --> 01:11:38,654 Damn it. That's true. 870 01:11:53,585 --> 01:11:56,547 Why's this door locked? It's a fire hazard! 871 01:12:12,104 --> 01:12:14,148 Get out of the road! 872 01:12:14,356 --> 01:12:15,774 Hey, watch it, man! 873 01:12:16,984 --> 01:12:19,278 She's not attracted to you! 874 01:12:19,903 --> 01:12:21,822 She doesn't love you! 875 01:12:22,781 --> 01:12:25,325 You'll never be more than a friend! 876 01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:28,162 Two dollars! 877 01:12:37,254 --> 01:12:39,131 Ice dispenser. 878 01:12:39,756 --> 01:12:41,383 Six. 879 01:12:41,633 --> 01:12:45,804 Oh, yeah! I'll make you forget all about losing prom queen. 880 01:12:45,971 --> 01:12:49,516 Tell me who your daddy is! Tell me who your papa is! 881 01:12:51,977 --> 01:12:53,645 Get off her, man! 882 01:12:54,438 --> 01:12:55,606 Priscilla. 883 01:12:55,814 --> 01:12:57,274 Don't move. 884 01:13:02,154 --> 01:13:04,948 - What's going on? - Something beautiful. 885 01:13:05,824 --> 01:13:09,036 - Where's Janey? - Miss Run-Home-To-My-Daddy... 886 01:13:09,286 --> 01:13:10,787 ...ran home to her daddy. 887 01:13:12,956 --> 01:13:16,543 - That's for taking Janey to the prom. - You put the-- 888 01:13:16,752 --> 01:13:20,297 - That's for hurting her at the party! - This is really turning me on. 889 01:13:21,798 --> 01:13:24,927 That's for being really weird. 890 01:13:25,135 --> 01:13:26,595 Thank you. 891 01:13:32,142 --> 01:13:34,102 I don't know what that was for. 892 01:13:40,609 --> 01:13:42,277 Hello. 893 01:13:43,987 --> 01:13:45,197 Why... 894 01:13:46,657 --> 01:13:49,868 I never thought I'd hear myself say this... 895 01:13:50,744 --> 01:13:55,582 ...but for once, I wish I could meet a nice, sensitive guy... 896 01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:57,918 ...who wanted more than just sex. 897 01:14:00,504 --> 01:14:03,215 That is very admirable. 898 01:14:05,884 --> 01:14:08,804 I wish a guy would take me out for dinner. 899 01:14:09,263 --> 01:14:11,056 I feel the same way. 900 01:14:13,183 --> 01:14:14,977 And for once... 901 01:14:16,937 --> 01:14:20,148 ...I wish a guy would take a dump on my chest. 902 01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:25,195 That is appalling. 903 01:14:29,533 --> 01:14:31,493 That really upsets me. 904 01:14:32,828 --> 01:14:35,455 I can't believe nobody's ever taken a dump on your chest. 905 01:14:40,669 --> 01:14:42,254 Will you be that guy? 906 01:14:48,969 --> 01:14:52,889 It would be an honor and a privilege. 907 01:15:03,191 --> 01:15:04,693 Janey! 908 01:15:08,071 --> 01:15:09,323 Hello? 909 01:15:10,282 --> 01:15:12,117 Is anybody home? 910 01:15:12,659 --> 01:15:15,120 Get down! Enemy fire! 911 01:15:16,621 --> 01:15:18,290 Mr. Briggs? 912 01:15:18,498 --> 01:15:21,543 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where Janey is? 913 01:15:21,793 --> 01:15:26,256 She went out there. On her own. There's Charlie everywhere. 914 01:15:26,757 --> 01:15:29,176 Right. Do you know where she went? 915 01:15:29,509 --> 01:15:32,179 Couldn't take it. Went to the airport. 916 01:15:32,387 --> 01:15:37,100 Something about Paris. Her tour was over. 917 01:15:37,392 --> 01:15:39,561 Paris. Thank you, sir. 918 01:15:40,020 --> 01:15:43,732 I need ammo! I can't hold them off much longer! 919 01:15:49,696 --> 01:15:52,699 Off the road, you glasses and ponytail freak! 920 01:16:05,837 --> 01:16:07,047 Two dollars! 921 01:16:07,506 --> 01:16:09,383 - Two dollars! - Two dollars! 922 01:16:15,722 --> 01:16:17,891 Next stop, airport. 923 01:16:18,141 --> 01:16:22,687 The red zone is for the loading and unloading of passengers. 924 01:16:22,896 --> 01:16:24,398 No parking. 925 01:16:24,606 --> 01:16:25,816 Attention, please. 926 01:16:26,024 --> 01:16:31,363 All red Porsche 944s parked in the white zone will be towed immediately. 927 01:16:36,660 --> 01:16:40,205 Paris Air, Flight 805 to art school in Paris... 928 01:16:40,414 --> 01:16:42,666 ...from Gate 122, is now boarding. 929 01:16:56,096 --> 01:16:58,473 Excuse me, everyone! 930 01:16:59,099 --> 01:17:03,311 There's a girl boarding a plane right now to Paris that I love. 931 01:17:04,855 --> 01:17:08,024 If I don't get there in time and tell her how I feel... 932 01:17:08,608 --> 01:17:10,235 ...I may never see her again. 933 01:17:15,282 --> 01:17:16,450 Go get her, son. 934 01:17:17,492 --> 01:17:18,785 Good luck, young man. 935 01:17:21,121 --> 01:17:22,956 - Go get her! - Go for it. 936 01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:27,002 Oh, hell, just go. 937 01:17:29,796 --> 01:17:30,881 Freeze, bitch! 938 01:17:41,850 --> 01:17:44,311 You're bleeding on my suitcase. 939 01:17:50,567 --> 01:17:51,610 Excuse me! 940 01:17:52,652 --> 01:17:54,070 Excuse me, everyone! 941 01:17:54,571 --> 01:18:00,368 There's a girl about to board a plane to Paris right now that I love and-- 942 01:18:00,535 --> 01:18:03,914 We already heard that one. Asshole. 943 01:18:05,749 --> 01:18:10,712 This is the final call for Paris Air Flight 805 to art school... 944 01:18:10,921 --> 01:18:13,173 ...departing from Gate 122. 945 01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:14,966 Janey! 946 01:18:16,092 --> 01:18:17,427 Hey, shithead, that's mine. 947 01:18:18,512 --> 01:18:19,846 Give it back! 948 01:18:20,180 --> 01:18:23,892 Just believe in the ball, Jake. And throw yourself. 949 01:18:37,239 --> 01:18:38,698 Nice shot, Jake. 950 01:18:40,951 --> 01:18:44,079 - Jake? - Janey. Thank God I got to you in time. 951 01:18:44,246 --> 01:18:47,666 Listen to me. I'm not going to let you go to Paris. 952 01:18:48,208 --> 01:18:51,002 - This is the final call... - Why not? 953 01:18:51,211 --> 01:18:53,421 ...for flight nonstop to art school. 954 01:18:53,630 --> 01:18:59,302 If you’re finding words to stop a girl from leaving, now would be the time. 955 01:18:59,469 --> 01:19:01,179 Janey. .. 956 01:19:02,556 --> 01:19:06,268 ...I made that bet before I knew you. 957 01:19:07,602 --> 01:19:09,938 Before I really knew me. 958 01:19:11,648 --> 01:19:12,941 Oh, Jake. 959 01:19:15,068 --> 01:19:16,820 Okay, hold it right there. 960 01:19:20,949 --> 01:19:24,244 Tell me you didn't quote Freddie Prinze Jr. 961 01:19:26,162 --> 01:19:29,958 I knew it. That was a line from She's All That. 962 01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:32,586 I masturbate to that movie. 963 01:19:35,922 --> 01:19:37,007 Do you mind? 964 01:19:37,173 --> 01:19:40,385 No, not at all. Masturbation's very healthy. 965 01:19:44,055 --> 01:19:48,935 Janey, you said you couldn't believe in someone that didn't believe in you. 966 01:19:49,269 --> 01:19:53,440 Well, I believed in you. I always believed in you. 967 01:19:54,608 --> 01:19:55,692 Oh, Jake. 968 01:19:56,443 --> 01:20:00,322 Oh, God. I can't believe you fell for that crap. 969 01:20:00,488 --> 01:20:03,158 - That's from Pretty in Pink. - Are you sure? 970 01:20:03,950 --> 01:20:05,035 Trust me. 971 01:20:05,201 --> 01:20:10,457 - Excuse me. What are you doing? - Let me give you some advice, Jake. 972 01:20:10,624 --> 01:20:14,544 Lose the I'm-The-Cute-And-Sensitive Popular-Boy routine. 973 01:20:14,794 --> 01:20:15,879 It's pathetic. 974 01:20:16,087 --> 01:20:19,424 And tell Janey what's true in your heart. 975 01:20:19,633 --> 01:20:21,301 Stop being such a little bitch. 976 01:20:22,552 --> 01:20:27,390 And you. Miss Other-Side-Of-The-Tracks Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses. 977 01:20:27,849 --> 01:20:32,312 Wise up to Jake's bullshit. Stop being such a dumb-ass. 978 01:20:35,899 --> 01:20:37,317 She's right. 979 01:20:38,026 --> 01:20:40,236 - Janey. ... - Yes, Jake? 980 01:20:42,906 --> 01:20:45,617 Maybe you should get on that plane and go to Paris. 981 01:20:47,827 --> 01:20:51,539 Well, if you stay, we really only have the summer. 982 01:20:51,748 --> 01:20:56,044 Then I go to college. We'll spend the occasional weekend together. 983 01:20:56,252 --> 01:20:57,504 Which is nice. 984 01:20:58,129 --> 01:21:02,634 But chances are, one night I'll get wrecked and have sex with some girl. 985 01:21:02,842 --> 01:21:04,761 You'll find her thong and call me a slut. 986 01:21:05,053 --> 01:21:08,223 I'll call you a cocktease and we'll break up. 987 01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:12,185 So when you really think about it, what's the point? 988 01:21:15,355 --> 01:21:20,443 Well, that wasn't exactly the kind of truth I was expecting. 989 01:21:22,821 --> 01:21:27,492 But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big of a dumb-ass do you think I am? 990 01:21:27,659 --> 01:21:30,286 You obviously stole that from Karate Kid. 991 01:21:30,912 --> 01:21:32,706 No, actually, I-- 992 01:21:32,997 --> 01:21:35,500 Jake, it's okay. 993 01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,836 I love you too. 994 01:21:38,002 --> 01:21:39,713 We all know where this is going. 995 01:21:40,380 --> 01:21:42,424 Fucking teenagers. 996 01:21:51,891 --> 01:21:53,309 This is it. 997 01:21:53,476 --> 01:21:54,978 The right moment. 998 01:22:09,701 --> 01:22:11,578 Son of a bitch! 999 01:22:30,764 --> 01:22:32,056 Betty... 1000 01:22:33,057 --> 01:22:35,185 ...meet Apollonia. 1001 01:22:35,351 --> 01:22:37,771 We're going to have a three-way. 1002 01:28:40,883 --> 01:28:43,803 Sun's burned my cornea 1003 01:28:44,470 --> 01:28:48,141 I can no longer see 1004 01:28:48,724 --> 01:28:53,771 I'm not kidding Somebody please fucking help me 1005 01:28:57,150 --> 01:28:58,860 Quick! Grab her guitar. 75055

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