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1
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:16,167
I just hope it doesn't cause any
permanent damage.
2
00:00:21,464 --> 00:00:25,760
- How long have you been here, anyway?
- A while.
3
00:00:27,637 --> 00:00:30,431
- You missed your prom?
- Yeah.
4
00:00:36,396 --> 00:00:39,816
The thing is, when I made that bet--
5
00:00:40,358 --> 00:00:44,529
There he is. It's Freddie.
He's wearing a tux.
6
00:00:44,737 --> 00:00:48,533
What's up? I met a whole other
person inside of you.
7
00:00:49,284 --> 00:00:53,121
There's a whole other person
inside of both of us.
8
00:01:18,021 --> 00:01:20,440
Would the whole other person...
9
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,693
...like to dance?
10
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:27,530
Yes.
11
00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:31,117
- Morning, sweetie!
- Daddy!
12
00:01:31,451 --> 00:01:34,162
- Why are you in here?
- Why am I in here?
13
00:01:34,412 --> 00:01:36,331
It's her birthday, Dad.
14
00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:39,208
Happy birthday, sweetie.
15
00:01:42,462 --> 00:01:46,716
- What's that buzzing sound?
- I just need a minute, here.
16
00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:48,927
Maybe it's that construction.
17
00:01:49,218 --> 00:01:51,346
Where's my little angel?
18
00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:53,222
Happy birthday, honey.
19
00:01:53,431 --> 00:01:54,599
Grandma? Grandpa?
20
00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:56,267
Rosco!
21
00:01:59,562 --> 00:02:01,564
Rosco, go.
22
00:02:02,315 --> 00:02:04,442
- Hello.
- Father O'Flannagan?
23
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:07,904
I brought your special friends
from the center!
24
00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:10,615
- Happy birthday!
- Janey's making faces.
25
00:02:10,823 --> 00:02:12,659
It smells in here.
26
00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:14,911
Okay, make a wish, dear.
27
00:02:15,870 --> 00:02:17,121
No.
28
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:33,554
Let's begin now.
29
00:02:44,607 --> 00:02:47,068
This isn't a typical high school.
30
00:02:47,318 --> 00:02:51,906
At John Hughes, there are no cliques,
no exclusive social groups.
31
00:02:52,115 --> 00:02:55,576
You're accepted for you,
not who you hang out with.
32
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:59,956
We'll divide into groups
so you can get to know your peers.
33
00:03:00,164 --> 00:03:03,459
Let's get all you jocks
in one group...
34
00:03:03,668 --> 00:03:07,213
...and get you slutty girls
over here by me.
35
00:03:07,422 --> 00:03:09,632
Hey, how you doing?
Welcome.
36
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,677
You losers should
hang out in the back.
37
00:03:12,885 --> 00:03:16,472
That clearly includes you.
Come on, get back there.
38
00:03:16,681 --> 00:03:19,475
Take a look at the kid
standing beside you.
39
00:03:21,644 --> 00:03:24,731
They're your only friends
for the next four years.
40
00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:27,233
Okay, let's move it, people!
41
00:03:38,661 --> 00:03:41,539
- You need to start dating.
- I don't date. You know that.
42
00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:43,624
Janey, you know Dad's rule.
43
00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:45,668
I can't have sex before you.
44
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:49,088
I don't conform to
typical high-school norms.
45
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:53,634
I read Sylvia Plath,
listen to Bikini Kill and eat tofu.
46
00:03:53,843 --> 00:03:57,346
- I'm a unique rebel.
- More like you're a lesbo.
47
00:03:57,555 --> 00:03:59,974
Mitch, leave your sister alone.
48
00:04:00,391 --> 00:04:01,559
Thank you, Daddy.
49
00:04:01,768 --> 00:04:04,771
If Janey wants to be a rug-muncher,
that's her decision.
50
00:04:08,191 --> 00:04:10,526
Go! Fight! Win!
51
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,077
Nice combination, Crissy!
52
00:04:24,207 --> 00:04:26,584
I've been meaning to get that fixed.
53
00:04:27,627 --> 00:04:29,212
Later, Dad.
54
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:33,341
Hey, I'll be late to pick you up.
55
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:35,510
Why? A job interview?
56
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,180
No, honey.
I'll probably just be way too drunk.
57
00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:41,933
That's good.
No drinking and driving.
58
00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:46,020
Oh, I'll be driving.
I'll just be too drunk to remember.
59
00:04:46,729 --> 00:04:48,731
Okay. Bye, Daddy.
60
00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:51,067
Bye, pumpkin-head.
61
00:04:56,614 --> 00:04:59,075
- Oh, my God!
- Get out of the road!
62
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:18,594
Oh, my God, it's Jake.
63
00:05:19,679 --> 00:05:22,265
- Hi, stud.
- Hi, Jake.
64
00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:26,352
- I love that thing with his eyebrows.
- Those sideburns.
65
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:30,064
Oh, my God, there's Jake.
He's so popular.
66
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:32,733
He just looked at me.
67
00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:35,611
- Here. You can keep it.
- Tiff.
68
00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:38,573
Hi, Jake. It's all wet.
69
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,616
Melanie.
70
00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:42,827
Hey, Jake.
71
00:05:43,035 --> 00:05:44,745
Hey, Arthur.
72
00:05:53,045 --> 00:05:56,132
Here's Ricky!
73
00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:58,342
Hey, Ricky.
How was your weekend?
74
00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:03,181
Friday night I stood
outside your window in the rain. ..
75
00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:04,974
...screaming your name.
76
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,353
Then I spent Saturday and Sunday
making you this great...
77
00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:13,858
...I've-been-desperately-trying-
to-tell-you-that...
78
00:06:14,066 --> 00:06:16,360
...I'm-madly-in-love-with-you...
79
00:06:16,569 --> 00:06:18,613
...mix tape for your birthday.
80
00:06:18,821 --> 00:06:22,200
A mix tape?
That's so sweet, Ricky.
81
00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:25,369
See you in English.
82
00:06:28,664 --> 00:06:30,541
Catch you guy later.
83
00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:35,546
What happening?
84
00:06:35,755 --> 00:06:39,258
Damn, Shorty, Dog is pretending
to be Asian and shit.
85
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:44,222
That cracker is white!
Can't he see that, yo?
86
00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:47,183
Did you get any action this weekend?
87
00:06:47,391 --> 00:06:50,978
- I visit grandfather.
- I played with my sisters.
88
00:06:51,187 --> 00:06:52,563
We're pathetic.
89
00:06:52,772 --> 00:06:56,525
How will we ever lose our virginity
by graduation?
90
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,403
- We're freshmen.
- What's with the attitude?
91
00:06:59,654 --> 00:07:03,241
- Not easy to get lucky here.
- Girls are sensitive.
92
00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:07,578
They're not looking for sex.
They're looking for love.
93
00:07:07,787 --> 00:07:10,248
Love me! Harder!
94
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,756
Amanda Becker.
95
00:07:20,424 --> 00:07:23,678
She is so perfect.
96
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,147
Keep dreaming.
97
00:07:36,148 --> 00:07:37,858
What's up, Reggie Ray?
98
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,444
I can't wait until Friday's game.
99
00:07:40,736 --> 00:07:45,199
What about your head? You have
a blood clot the size of a grapefruit.
100
00:07:45,408 --> 00:07:49,495
Five more concussions and you'll die.
You should take it easy.
101
00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:52,748
- Don't listen to him.
- Austin.
102
00:07:52,999 --> 00:07:57,962
Mr. Not-First-String-Anymore,
isn't first-string anymore.
103
00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:02,508
We know what happened last time
Jake called the plays.
104
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,886
And now, our hometown hero...
105
00:08:06,095 --> 00:08:09,432
...first-string quarterback,
Jake Wyler!
106
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,019
Malik, could you hold these books?
107
00:08:13,352 --> 00:08:16,063
Sure. Why not?
I am the token black guy.
108
00:08:16,272 --> 00:08:18,774
I smile, stay out of
the conversation...
109
00:08:19,108 --> 00:08:24,488
...and say things like "Damn,"
"Shit," and "That is whack!"
110
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:45,009
What's she doing here?
She graduated four years ago.
111
00:08:46,635 --> 00:08:48,596
- Hi, Jake.
- Catherine.
112
00:08:48,804 --> 00:08:50,473
Can I ask you a question?
113
00:08:50,681 --> 00:08:53,976
Why is it when I tell a guy
to put it anywhere...
114
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,188
-...they always stick it in my ass?
- Damn!
115
00:08:57,396 --> 00:08:59,565
Way too much information.
116
00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:04,111
Oh, no. Too much information
would be telling you. ..
117
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,281
...that after they're done
I take a huge dump.
118
00:09:07,448 --> 00:09:08,491
Shit!
119
00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:12,370
On their chest.
120
00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:14,789
Oh, that is whack!
121
00:09:30,554 --> 00:09:32,640
Priscilla, there you are.
122
00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:34,975
Jake, I need some
T-to-the-fourth-power-Y.
123
00:09:37,853 --> 00:09:39,772
Some time to talk to you.
124
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,318
God.
125
00:09:45,945 --> 00:09:47,780
It made sense to me, Priscilla.
126
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:53,786
You're leaving me for this guy?
127
00:09:53,994 --> 00:09:57,289
I'm sorry, Jake.
We met over spring break.
128
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:03,045
I'm not ordinary.
129
00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:06,382
You're leaving me for this guy?
130
00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,551
His name is Les...
131
00:10:08,759 --> 00:10:12,346
...and he's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
132
00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:17,059
And so is his bag.
133
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:50,050
Janey Briggs,
please report to the office.
134
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,344
Janey Briggs,
please report to the office.
135
00:10:55,681 --> 00:10:58,559
Being a foreign exchange student
is scary...
136
00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:01,562
...adjusting to a new school,
a new country.
137
00:11:01,770 --> 00:11:05,399
But you'll find that the students
are very accepting.
138
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:10,362
You have a sunny disposition.
139
00:11:12,615 --> 00:11:13,699
You got your schedule?
140
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:24,668
Well, isn't that wonderful?
141
00:11:26,086 --> 00:11:27,129
Janey, come in.
142
00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:30,799
This is Areola,
our foreign exchange student.
143
00:11:31,008 --> 00:11:33,969
Janey will show you
to your first class.
144
00:11:35,179 --> 00:11:36,514
Hi.
145
00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:43,896
I like your backpack.
146
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:54,532
Dude, I heard there's an undercover
reporter posing as a student.
147
00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,825
Dude, no way, dude.
148
00:11:57,034 --> 00:12:00,371
Do you know where
Mr. Keller's English class is?
149
00:12:00,579 --> 00:12:03,916
- Down the hall, on your left.
- Sweet, dude.
150
00:12:04,708 --> 00:12:08,546
For the thousandth time, I said,
"Swallow that thing."
151
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,589
Am I right?
152
00:12:14,843 --> 00:12:18,138
How could Priscilla dump me,
Jake Wyler?
153
00:12:18,347 --> 00:12:20,307
Who does she think she is?
154
00:12:20,516 --> 00:12:22,768
I got two words for you, Jake:
155
00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:26,272
Prom queen, material.
156
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,650
Austin, she's an illusion.
157
00:12:29,858 --> 00:12:33,153
You take away the makeup,
the clothes...
158
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:37,241
...the way she wears her hair,
the smell of her perfume...
159
00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:40,578
...that cute face she makes
when she's tonguing my balls...
160
00:12:43,747 --> 00:12:45,332
Look, she's replaceable.
161
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,669
Given the right look,
the right boyfriend...
162
00:12:48,877 --> 00:12:52,339
-...any girl could be prom queen.
- I smell a bet.
163
00:12:52,548 --> 00:12:55,217
Jakey, Jakey,
about to make a big...
164
00:12:55,759 --> 00:12:57,553
...mistakey.
165
00:12:57,761 --> 00:13:01,265
I'll pick the most
hopeless girl at this school...
166
00:13:01,473 --> 00:13:05,102
...and I'll bet that you
can't turn her into prom queen.
167
00:13:05,311 --> 00:13:06,937
You're on, Austin.
168
00:13:07,146 --> 00:13:09,106
I'll bet you lose that bet...
169
00:13:09,315 --> 00:13:12,943
...but learn a much more
valuable lesson, and win.
170
00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:14,403
In life, that is.
171
00:13:15,904 --> 00:13:16,947
You're both on.
172
00:13:17,698 --> 00:13:19,074
All right.
173
00:13:19,325 --> 00:13:23,912
Let's find you a prom queen,
Mr. Let's-Find-Me-A-Prom-Queen.
174
00:13:24,913 --> 00:13:26,040
What about her?
175
00:13:26,248 --> 00:13:28,292
Baby's got back.
Hunch, that is.
176
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:31,086
No, way too easy.
177
00:13:31,754 --> 00:13:33,922
I have no pigment
178
00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:35,799
Any girl with a guitar is hot.
179
00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:37,551
I need sunscreen
180
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,013
Even a hippie albino.
She could be prom queen.
181
00:13:41,263 --> 00:13:43,432
What about the Fratelli sisters?
182
00:13:44,016 --> 00:13:46,935
So they're slightly disfigured
and connected.
183
00:13:47,144 --> 00:13:51,065
But combined, those two make up
one pretty decent chick.
184
00:13:51,273 --> 00:13:53,442
- I'd do them!
- I know, Reggie Ray.
185
00:13:53,692 --> 00:13:56,987
I'm looking for somebody
really messed up.
186
00:13:57,196 --> 00:14:00,032
I'm talking about a real shitbomb.
187
00:14:04,286 --> 00:14:07,706
Well, bombs away.
188
00:14:08,290 --> 00:14:12,836
No, no, no, anyone but her!
Not Janey Briggs.
189
00:14:13,545 --> 00:14:16,632
Guys, she's got glasses
and a ponytail.
190
00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,010
She's got paint on her overalls!
What is that?
191
00:14:20,177 --> 00:14:22,680
There's no way
she could be prom queen.
192
00:14:23,806 --> 00:14:26,350
Damn, that shit's whack.
193
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,520
Aim for the head!
194
00:14:43,701 --> 00:14:46,620
Can you imagine
what they do in there?
195
00:14:46,787 --> 00:14:48,288
Holy cow.
196
00:14:48,497 --> 00:14:51,834
Guys, get your heads
out of the gutter.
197
00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:55,170
It's a locker room.
It's no sexier in there. ..
198
00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:57,005
...than it is in here.
199
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,551
Molly, can you help me
take off my panties?
200
00:15:01,176 --> 00:15:03,971
Hold on, I've got lotion
on my hands.
201
00:15:04,179 --> 00:15:07,266
That's okay.
You can just use your mouth.
202
00:15:15,607 --> 00:15:17,067
Thanks, Miss Peters.
203
00:15:17,735 --> 00:15:18,777
So...
204
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:22,865
...who would like to share their poem
with the class?
205
00:15:25,159 --> 00:15:28,162
Mr. Keller? Over here.
Right here. Please.
206
00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:29,413
Anyone?
207
00:15:29,621 --> 00:15:31,999
Please pick me.
I'm the one.
208
00:15:32,207 --> 00:15:33,375
Yes...
209
00:15:34,084 --> 00:15:35,544
...Ricky.
210
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:47,598
-"Ten Things I Love About Janey."
- Oh, not again.
211
00:15:47,806 --> 00:15:49,266
By Ricky Lipman.
212
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:54,688
I love it when Janey talks
I love it when Janey walks
213
00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:59,651
I love it when Janey drinks
I love it when Janey blinks
214
00:16:00,235 --> 00:16:02,654
I love it when Janey says hi
215
00:16:03,071 --> 00:16:06,950
I love it when Janey says
"See you in English"
216
00:16:10,454 --> 00:16:12,998
I love following Janey to the mall
217
00:16:17,002 --> 00:16:20,130
And I love collecting strands
218
00:16:20,297 --> 00:16:21,882
Of Janey's hair
219
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:24,593
And rolling them up
220
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:29,515
Into little Janey hairballs
221
00:16:40,818 --> 00:16:45,572
Thank you, Ricky,
for that interesting poem.
222
00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:51,161
- I'm not sure we should be doing this.
- Quiet. I hear them.
223
00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:54,581
I can't believe
what we just did, Molly.
224
00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:59,628
It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience
that will never happen again.
225
00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,004
Shit, we missed it.
226
00:17:01,171 --> 00:17:02,214
Let's keep going.
227
00:17:04,132 --> 00:17:07,135
Hey, I found a buffalo nickel!
228
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:14,142
Jackpot.
229
00:17:14,476 --> 00:17:17,604
Girl go pee-pee
not what I want to see-see.
230
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:18,981
I agree-gree.
231
00:17:19,189 --> 00:17:23,026
Would you two please try and be
a little open-minded?
232
00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:28,949
Class, let's open our books
and continue with our poetry lesson.
233
00:17:29,157 --> 00:17:30,576
You know what I think about poetry?
234
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,916
Oh, is that amusing?
235
00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:41,670
Is that what your generation
considers humor?
236
00:17:49,386 --> 00:17:52,681
This make me kind of happy in pants.
237
00:17:58,645 --> 00:17:59,980
Goodness.
238
00:18:00,188 --> 00:18:03,358
That make me kind of sad in pants.
239
00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:07,112
Shakespeare, Molière...
240
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:10,032
...Oscar Wilde.
241
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,909
These were humorists.
242
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:15,829
I'm gonna be sick.
243
00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:20,542
The sublime poetic genius
of a clever turn of phrase.
244
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,711
That is true comedy.
245
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:24,880
Heavens to Betsy.
246
00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:32,471
Your modern, moronic, feeble-minded,
sophomoric excuse for wit...
247
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:37,601
...is merely a parade of nasty...
248
00:18:39,019 --> 00:18:40,187
...filthy, vulgar...
249
00:18:42,439 --> 00:18:44,274
...human excrement!
250
00:18:58,956 --> 00:19:00,415
Excuse me.
251
00:19:13,178 --> 00:19:16,139
- Hey, Janey. What's up?
- Excuse me?
252
00:19:16,348 --> 00:19:20,143
Ever want to be
the most popular girl in school?
253
00:19:20,352 --> 00:19:22,354
Anorexic, superficial?
254
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,690
A whore who lacks any real
long-term goals?
255
00:19:26,316 --> 00:19:27,776
Exactly.
256
00:19:27,985 --> 00:19:31,738
If you're interested,
I thought we could go out sometime.
257
00:19:31,947 --> 00:19:33,240
Be seen in public.
258
00:19:33,699 --> 00:19:37,786
- We haven't spoken in four years.
- Actually, more like six.
259
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,373
That time when we were
in line at that theater. ..
260
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:44,251
...I was actually saying "hey"
to the person behind you.
261
00:19:52,342 --> 00:19:56,054
We're down a cheerleader for Friday's
game against North Compton. ..
262
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,432
...and that squad always tries
to bring it.
263
00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:01,768
- Bring what, Priscilla?
- Bring it.
264
00:20:01,977 --> 00:20:04,521
Right, but what is "it"?
265
00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:07,357
It's just what they bring, okay?
266
00:20:19,703 --> 00:20:21,580
New girl.
267
00:20:22,372 --> 00:20:27,377
I'm Sandy Sue.
It is simply swell to meet all of you.
268
00:20:28,170 --> 00:20:30,464
Peachy.
You brought a routine?
269
00:20:30,672 --> 00:20:31,965
Oh, you bet.
270
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:36,011
Give me an H
Give me a U
271
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:40,766
Give me a giant pussy-licking,
ass-fucker cock shit!
272
00:20:44,269 --> 00:20:47,856
I'm sorry.
That was my Tourette's.
273
00:20:49,149 --> 00:20:50,901
I don't know about her.
274
00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:55,906
Okay. Let's get one thing straight.
This isn't a cheerocracy.
275
00:20:56,281 --> 00:20:57,616
I am the cheertator.
276
00:20:57,824 --> 00:21:01,745
I make the cheercisions,
I will deal with the cheeronsequences.
277
00:21:02,746 --> 00:21:06,625
If there are no more cheeruptions,
we can cheertinue.
278
00:21:07,375 --> 00:21:08,919
Thank you.
279
00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:15,550
Grandpa stuck a finger in my ass!
Cum face!
280
00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:20,347
She'll cheer do.
Great.
281
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:24,643
Goddamn it, let's go now!
Thirty-two draw!
282
00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:28,313
Goddamn it!
Let's show some goddamn hustle!
283
00:21:28,522 --> 00:21:32,067
Look alive out there!
This isn't a goddamn tryout!
284
00:21:32,275 --> 00:21:34,653
- Goddamn it!
- Blue 21! Hut!
285
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,363
What the hell?
286
00:21:36,613 --> 00:21:39,032
Nobody's covering that hole!
287
00:21:39,241 --> 00:21:42,077
Goddamn it!
Let's do it again!
288
00:21:43,453 --> 00:21:46,414
Marty! Marty! Marty!
289
00:21:47,165 --> 00:21:49,417
All right, Marty.
290
00:21:51,419 --> 00:21:53,922
- Get your ass in there.
- You sure?
291
00:21:54,131 --> 00:21:56,550
Just go, goddamn it.
292
00:21:56,758 --> 00:21:58,969
Wyler, we got this wrapped up.
293
00:21:59,177 --> 00:22:02,472
All you gotta do is run out the clock.
294
00:22:05,225 --> 00:22:08,061
For God's sakes,
don't try anything fancy!
295
00:22:08,270 --> 00:22:09,813
Goddamn it.
296
00:22:12,649 --> 00:22:14,442
Listen, boys.
297
00:22:14,651 --> 00:22:17,112
We got time for one more play.
298
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:20,615
- I say we get the ball to Marty.
- Damn.
299
00:22:20,824 --> 00:22:23,618
No, I'm just happy
being on the field.
300
00:22:23,827 --> 00:22:28,248
Coach reckons we should take a knee.
We're up 42-0.
301
00:22:28,456 --> 00:22:30,625
I don't care what coach reckons.
302
00:22:30,876 --> 00:22:33,420
You can't go through life
being scared.
303
00:22:33,628 --> 00:22:36,965
If you do, you'll always wonder,
"What if?"
304
00:22:37,632 --> 00:22:41,428
But if you go out there
and you give it your all...
305
00:22:41,803 --> 00:22:42,888
...that's heroic.
306
00:22:45,974 --> 00:22:47,976
Guys, I appreciate this, but--
307
00:22:48,185 --> 00:22:50,478
That's the spirit! Ready?
308
00:22:56,067 --> 00:22:58,778
What are you doing?
Get out of here.
309
00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:00,614
Not here. Down there.
310
00:23:00,822 --> 00:23:01,907
Over here?
311
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,201
What are you doing?
Over here!
312
00:23:04,743 --> 00:23:05,827
Here?
313
00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:08,371
We love you, Marty!
314
00:23:08,580 --> 00:23:10,165
Set, hut!
315
00:23:21,009 --> 00:23:22,052
No. No.
316
00:23:24,137 --> 00:23:25,513
No, don't throw it to me.
317
00:23:27,015 --> 00:23:28,391
No!
318
00:23:54,417 --> 00:23:57,921
- Nice hands, Marty!
- I did it.
319
00:23:58,797 --> 00:24:00,799
- I'm a hero!
- Walk it off!
320
00:24:02,092 --> 00:24:05,720
All right, goddamn it!
Hit the showers, goddamn it!
321
00:24:06,221 --> 00:24:09,182
Bunch of candy-asses.
Lousy practice!
322
00:24:09,391 --> 00:24:12,143
We'll get our asses kicked Friday!
323
00:24:12,352 --> 00:24:15,689
What about fourth-string?
I didn't get to practice.
324
00:24:15,897 --> 00:24:19,734
After all the shenanigans
you pulled last season...
325
00:24:19,943 --> 00:24:24,197
...thank God you're still
in goddamn uniform, goddamn it!
326
00:24:48,805 --> 00:24:53,059
If my parents hear I got detention,
no dessert for a week.
327
00:24:53,268 --> 00:24:55,353
We've disgraced ourselves
and our families.
328
00:24:55,562 --> 00:25:01,609
Guys, guys, guys. I sense the morale's
a little low. I say we make a pact...
329
00:25:02,110 --> 00:25:04,029
...right here, right now.
330
00:25:04,237 --> 00:25:07,490
Before the end of the year,
we all get laid!
331
00:25:08,074 --> 00:25:09,909
We always make that pact.
332
00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:13,038
We've been waiting for this
since puberty.
333
00:25:13,246 --> 00:25:16,666
- Two weeks ago!
- I just got first hair on ball.
334
00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,794
I don't think you understand.
335
00:25:20,253 --> 00:25:23,590
We'll become the masters of our
sexual destiny.
336
00:25:23,798 --> 00:25:26,968
No longer will our penises remain
flaccid and unused.
337
00:25:28,136 --> 00:25:30,305
No longer steal Grandfather's porn.
338
00:25:30,513 --> 00:25:34,684
No longer will we use blindfolds
when we jerk each other off.
339
00:25:35,143 --> 00:25:36,978
All right, that's it.
340
00:25:40,940 --> 00:25:42,734
What in God's name is going on?
341
00:25:43,693 --> 00:25:46,071
- What was that ruckus?
- I no hear ruckus.
342
00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:50,450
- I heard a ruckus.
- Can you describe this ruckus, sir?
343
00:25:50,658 --> 00:25:53,411
You better watch your tongue,
young man!
344
00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:55,497
We were just sitting here.
345
00:25:55,705 --> 00:25:58,750
You just bought yourself
another detention.
346
00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:01,795
- That's not fair.
- Cry me a river, dickface.
347
00:26:02,003 --> 00:26:04,881
- You bought another one.
- Eat my shorts.
348
00:26:05,423 --> 00:26:06,758
What was that?
349
00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:10,178
Eat my shorts!
350
00:26:10,387 --> 00:26:13,139
- Don't mess with a bull.
- I'm shaking.
351
00:26:13,348 --> 00:26:15,016
- You got another.
- Good!
352
00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:17,811
- You through?
- Not even close, bud.
353
00:26:18,019 --> 00:26:19,813
- Want another one?
- Yes.
354
00:26:20,021 --> 00:26:22,023
- You got it!
- Good.
355
00:26:22,273 --> 00:26:24,192
- Another one. Had enough?
- No.
356
00:26:24,442 --> 00:26:25,652
- Another one.
- So?
357
00:26:25,860 --> 00:26:27,821
- I can keep going.
- Go!
358
00:26:28,029 --> 00:26:30,198
- Eenie, meenie, minie--
- Mo.
359
00:26:30,407 --> 00:26:31,699
- Your mom was a--
- Ho.
360
00:26:31,908 --> 00:26:33,535
- He was a famous clown.
- Bobo.
361
00:26:33,785 --> 00:26:36,079
Mitch, cut it out.
362
00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,208
- Another one.
- But I was--
363
00:26:40,417 --> 00:26:41,709
That's another one!
364
00:26:41,918 --> 00:26:44,712
- One more for Ox or for Mitch?
- Another.
365
00:26:45,338 --> 00:26:47,632
- I confused.
- Shut your hole, Wang Chung.
366
00:26:47,841 --> 00:26:51,761
I got you for the rest of your lives.
You're mine.
367
00:26:52,178 --> 00:26:54,305
- Next time, I'm cracking skulls.
- I'm cracking skulls.
368
00:27:10,405 --> 00:27:14,200
How many times have I said
I'm not going to Princeton?
369
00:27:14,451 --> 00:27:16,286
I'm not pressuring you.
370
00:27:16,744 --> 00:27:18,413
Just give it four years.
371
00:27:18,621 --> 00:27:21,958
If you don't like it,
you can work at my firm.
372
00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:24,961
I don't want your life!
373
00:27:25,545 --> 00:27:26,796
That's okay, son.
374
00:27:27,005 --> 00:27:29,466
I heard about what happened
with Priscilla.
375
00:27:30,049 --> 00:27:31,301
The good news is...
376
00:27:31,509 --> 00:27:34,053
...I've got the perfect rebound girl.
377
00:27:34,304 --> 00:27:35,597
Really?
378
00:27:36,890 --> 00:27:39,642
Beverly! Could you come in here?
379
00:27:45,899 --> 00:27:47,025
That's Mom!
380
00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:48,276
What do you say, kiddo?
381
00:27:49,986 --> 00:27:52,363
I'm gonna leave you two alone.
382
00:27:55,575 --> 00:27:56,993
Make me proud, son.
383
00:27:57,702 --> 00:27:59,787
So you in love?
384
00:28:02,373 --> 00:28:06,127
- Yeah, I think I am.
- Well, who is this guy?
385
00:28:06,336 --> 00:28:10,298
His name is Blane. He's a senior.
He's so beautiful.
386
00:28:16,054 --> 00:28:18,556
Janey? Sweetheart?
387
00:28:21,893 --> 00:28:23,228
Hi, Daddy.
388
00:28:23,436 --> 00:28:26,105
Is something wrong?
You were quiet at dinner.
389
00:28:26,648 --> 00:28:28,608
You were passed out on the table.
390
00:28:34,822 --> 00:28:36,407
Listen, honey. ..
391
00:28:37,033 --> 00:28:41,037
...I may not always be coherent
or conscious...
392
00:28:41,246 --> 00:28:45,416
...but I know when my girl's
got something on her mind.
393
00:28:46,084 --> 00:28:48,211
Well, there is this popular boy,
Jake...
394
00:28:48,962 --> 00:28:52,173
Oh, sweetie.
395
00:28:54,217 --> 00:28:55,969
Jake knocked you up, didn't he?
396
00:28:56,928 --> 00:28:58,680
No, he asked me out.
397
00:29:00,515 --> 00:29:03,643
Do you like him?
Are you attracted to him?
398
00:29:04,185 --> 00:29:06,646
I mean, would you give him head?
399
00:29:06,854 --> 00:29:09,691
He is kind of cute, but...
400
00:29:09,899 --> 00:29:12,277
...he's always been a total jerk.
401
00:29:12,485 --> 00:29:14,988
It's weird that he's
talking to me now.
402
00:29:15,196 --> 00:29:19,033
Especially after you've packed on
a couple of pounds.
403
00:29:23,204 --> 00:29:24,998
What do you think I should do?
404
00:29:25,915 --> 00:29:27,584
Look, sweetie.
405
00:29:27,792 --> 00:29:32,338
I never want you to do anything
that compromises who you are...
406
00:29:32,547 --> 00:29:35,883
...because you're very,
very special to me.
407
00:29:36,092 --> 00:29:40,054
If Jake is only asking you out
to get into your pants...
408
00:29:40,555 --> 00:29:42,015
...well, then I'd say...
409
00:29:42,890 --> 00:29:43,975
...go out with him.
410
00:29:44,851 --> 00:29:48,396
You could certainly use
the popularity points.
411
00:29:48,813 --> 00:29:50,607
And if Jake likes you. ..
412
00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:55,320
...then maybe those kids will quit
throwing bags of shit on the porch.
413
00:30:01,534 --> 00:30:03,202
I feel better.
414
00:30:05,788 --> 00:30:07,332
Thanks for the advice, Daddy.
415
00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:11,961
That's what I'm here for,
pumpkin-tits.
416
00:30:19,719 --> 00:30:22,805
- I need to ask you a favor.
- It's about time.
417
00:30:23,264 --> 00:30:24,390
No, not that.
418
00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,021
You're the cruelest girl
in high school.
419
00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,732
You're the only one who can help
trick Janey into liking me.
420
00:30:34,651 --> 00:30:38,196
That girl with the glasses
and the ponytail?
421
00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:40,823
Don't forget
the paint-covered overalls.
422
00:30:42,533 --> 00:30:43,910
Well...
423
00:30:45,036 --> 00:30:47,789
...it's going to be difficult.
424
00:30:48,331 --> 00:30:50,291
But I think I can help you.
425
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,502
Sit.
426
00:30:55,713 --> 00:30:57,340
For a price.
427
00:30:59,509 --> 00:31:02,303
And this time,
I don't want your car.
428
00:31:04,430 --> 00:31:06,140
I want you.
429
00:31:06,432 --> 00:31:09,977
Catherine, that's disgusting.
You're my sister.
430
00:31:10,228 --> 00:31:11,896
Only by blood.
431
00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:18,486
- What is wrong with this family?
- Hey, do you want my help or not?
432
00:31:31,290 --> 00:31:33,918
There are three things
you need to do...
433
00:31:34,085 --> 00:31:36,504
...to have Janey
eating out of your hand.
434
00:31:38,423 --> 00:31:40,341
First, you earn her trust.
435
00:31:40,550 --> 00:31:42,093
Come on, leave him alone!
436
00:31:42,468 --> 00:31:46,848
Hey! Come on, guys, back off.
That's enough, okay?
437
00:31:50,226 --> 00:31:51,978
You little shit.
438
00:32:03,573 --> 00:32:05,324
Don't you guys mess with him again.
439
00:32:06,492 --> 00:32:10,872
Once you've got her trust,
it's time to make her feel special.
440
00:32:11,956 --> 00:32:15,543
Pick a song with her name in it.
That always works.
441
00:32:33,561 --> 00:32:35,605
Janey's got a gun
442
00:32:36,856 --> 00:32:38,399
Janey Briggs' got a gun
443
00:32:38,566 --> 00:32:41,444
She's got a gun!
Janey's got a gun!
444
00:32:41,903 --> 00:32:43,362
What?
445
00:32:44,947 --> 00:32:46,991
Janey Briggs' got a gun
446
00:32:47,658 --> 00:32:51,871
So run away
Run away from the pain
447
00:32:52,455 --> 00:32:53,623
Take it easy, miss.
448
00:32:53,831 --> 00:32:56,292
- Wait.
- Get back here!
449
00:32:56,959 --> 00:32:59,337
Run away from the pain
450
00:32:59,962 --> 00:33:01,214
Hold her down.
451
00:33:03,925 --> 00:33:07,178
- Give me your hand!
- Just give us the gun, Janey.
452
00:33:08,012 --> 00:33:10,515
After you've made her feel special...
453
00:33:11,474 --> 00:33:14,477
...it's time to put the icing
on the cake.
454
00:33:14,685 --> 00:33:17,271
I'm really glad you showed up, Janey.
455
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:22,276
The only reason I came here
was to tell you to leave me alone.
456
00:33:22,527 --> 00:33:25,530
You know, I was just making a snack.
457
00:33:25,780 --> 00:33:27,490
You want one?
458
00:33:28,157 --> 00:33:32,036
- No. Listen, Jake--
- I'll be right back.
459
00:33:32,829 --> 00:33:33,871
But I--
460
00:34:09,407 --> 00:34:10,825
Hungry?
461
00:34:13,953 --> 00:34:15,413
I don't like sundaes.
462
00:34:15,663 --> 00:34:19,083
It's not a sundae,
it's a banana split.
463
00:34:21,711 --> 00:34:25,256
I don't like those, either.
Goodbye, Jake.
464
00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:43,441
I left some money
on the kitchen counter.
465
00:34:43,649 --> 00:34:46,068
Emergency numbers are by the phone.
466
00:34:46,277 --> 00:34:48,779
And remember, son:
No parties.
467
00:34:49,030 --> 00:34:50,239
I know, Dad.
468
00:34:50,615 --> 00:34:52,408
Keg coming through.
Hey.
469
00:34:53,117 --> 00:34:54,410
What's up, man?
470
00:34:54,619 --> 00:34:56,621
We're trusting you, Preston.
471
00:34:56,829 --> 00:35:01,083
- Where do you want the speakers?
- In the dining room.
472
00:35:01,292 --> 00:35:03,544
You guys should hit the road.
473
00:35:03,753 --> 00:35:06,339
I'm taking your Ferrari
to buy hookers.
474
00:35:06,547 --> 00:35:09,175
We'll call you later to check in.
475
00:35:09,383 --> 00:35:11,969
I'll be so high,
I won't know where the phone is.
476
00:35:12,595 --> 00:35:14,388
That's my boy.
477
00:35:17,767 --> 00:35:20,019
Jake, what are you doing here?
478
00:35:20,227 --> 00:35:22,897
I'm taking you to Preston's big party.
479
00:35:23,481 --> 00:35:24,565
I can't.
480
00:35:24,774 --> 00:35:28,945
I'm not dressed to go to a party.
I'm a complete mess.
481
00:35:29,153 --> 00:35:32,740
I'd say you're one big fucking
train wreck.
482
00:35:36,827 --> 00:35:38,371
Do I know you?
483
00:35:54,261 --> 00:35:56,889
That's it. I've got it.
484
00:35:58,015 --> 00:35:59,225
What?
485
00:35:59,433 --> 00:36:02,436
It might seem crazy,
but you'll have to trust me.
486
00:36:31,257 --> 00:36:32,550
That's it.
487
00:36:33,217 --> 00:36:35,553
I did it. I'm a miracle worker.
488
00:36:39,056 --> 00:36:40,683
Gentlemen...
489
00:36:40,891 --> 00:36:44,020
...may I present to you
the new and improved...
490
00:36:44,478 --> 00:36:45,563
...Janey Briggs.
491
00:37:21,432 --> 00:37:25,603
Congratulations. You just got
your first slow-motion entrance.
492
00:37:47,958 --> 00:37:49,418
I'm okay!
493
00:37:50,294 --> 00:37:51,587
Janey?
494
00:37:53,589 --> 00:37:57,218
Come on out of there, honey.
Quit farting around.
495
00:38:06,102 --> 00:38:08,979
- Got your mom's car keys?
- Check.
496
00:38:11,148 --> 00:38:12,775
- Sleeping bags.
- Check.
497
00:38:12,983 --> 00:38:14,026
- Condoms.
- Check.
498
00:38:14,193 --> 00:38:19,365
Three pubescent libidos to take us
on a series of wild adventures.
499
00:38:19,573 --> 00:38:21,909
Check! Road trip!
500
00:38:37,299 --> 00:38:38,509
We here.
501
00:38:39,009 --> 00:38:43,013
Gentlemen, tonight we go to our
first high-school party.
502
00:38:43,556 --> 00:38:46,809
This is the place to buzz the Brillo.
503
00:38:47,017 --> 00:38:49,103
How you plan on buzzing Brillo?
504
00:38:49,979 --> 00:38:54,150
With this letter.
Amanda Becker will know the truth:
505
00:38:54,358 --> 00:38:57,069
I've loved her since I first saw her.
506
00:38:58,279 --> 00:38:59,613
Welcome to the party.
507
00:38:59,822 --> 00:39:03,325
If you're going to have sex,
do it in my parents' bedroom.
508
00:39:05,202 --> 00:39:09,582
- Does she go to our school?
- It's not even the same person.
509
00:39:09,790 --> 00:39:12,501
Janey-stainey-stained-pants-overalls?
510
00:39:12,710 --> 00:39:14,962
How did you talk me into this?
511
00:39:15,171 --> 00:39:19,884
Priscilla's freaking out now that Janey's
lost her glasses and her ponytail.
512
00:39:20,050 --> 00:39:23,262
I'm going to go fuck
a complete stranger.
513
00:39:23,470 --> 00:39:26,348
- Hey, I'm a complete stranger.
- I'm a complete stranger.
514
00:39:28,851 --> 00:39:32,354
Relax, all right?
It's going to be okay.
515
00:39:32,897 --> 00:39:33,939
Nice turtleneck.
516
00:39:34,148 --> 00:39:36,066
What's your name?
517
00:39:36,275 --> 00:39:39,612
I'm Sandy Sue.
Limp-dick fag fucker!
518
00:39:39,820 --> 00:39:41,864
Who told you that?
Alison?
519
00:39:42,114 --> 00:39:44,825
Alison was bitter when we broke up.
520
00:39:45,034 --> 00:39:49,538
- Completely fake.
- Yeah, that's not her real hair color.
521
00:39:49,747 --> 00:39:53,918
- She's wearing the same outfit as me.
- It looks much better on you.
522
00:39:54,627 --> 00:39:57,004
Where is she?
I thought she'd be here by now.
523
00:40:06,722 --> 00:40:08,390
What's going on?
524
00:40:09,475 --> 00:40:14,605
We can't talk
until she starts moving again.
525
00:40:19,568 --> 00:40:21,362
She took forever this time.
526
00:40:30,788 --> 00:40:32,539
What are you doing here?
527
00:40:35,251 --> 00:40:36,502
What do you mean?
528
00:40:36,710 --> 00:40:40,464
I'm supposed to be the only black guy
at this party.
529
00:40:41,632 --> 00:40:45,427
- Damn. Shit.
- Yeah, I know.
530
00:40:45,594 --> 00:40:46,720
- It's whack.
- It's whack.
531
00:40:46,887 --> 00:40:47,930
Hey, man, my bad.
532
00:40:48,138 --> 00:40:49,932
- Take this.
- Thanks.
533
00:40:50,140 --> 00:40:51,517
Do your thing.
534
00:40:52,142 --> 00:40:55,396
- Peace out, brother.
- Honest mistake.
535
00:41:03,362 --> 00:41:06,115
Hi, my name is Catherine.
536
00:41:06,782 --> 00:41:11,120
Yeah, I know.
We just had sex five minutes ago.
537
00:41:15,749 --> 00:41:18,002
Not scoring any cock, either?
538
00:41:18,210 --> 00:41:22,256
Cock? I've never even been kissed.
539
00:41:25,467 --> 00:41:29,888
What up, my yellow brothers?
Chinks in the house!
540
00:41:39,898 --> 00:41:44,069
Reggie Ray, have you
seen Janey anywhere?
541
00:41:44,987 --> 00:41:47,865
It's a good night for smoking.
542
00:41:48,073 --> 00:41:50,326
Ain't that right, Sausage?
543
00:41:57,958 --> 00:42:01,628
Okay, now close your eyes
and wet your lips.
544
00:42:01,879 --> 00:42:05,466
- Are you for real?
- Do you want to learn or not?
545
00:42:07,009 --> 00:42:08,594
I guess.
546
00:42:19,897 --> 00:42:25,235
- See? That wasn't so scary.
- It was nothing.
547
00:42:26,653 --> 00:42:28,072
Okay.
548
00:42:29,198 --> 00:42:31,200
Let's try again.
549
00:42:31,909 --> 00:42:35,496
Only this time, I'm gonna
stick my tongue in your mouth.
550
00:42:36,538 --> 00:42:41,085
And when I do that, I want you
to massage my tongue with yours.
551
00:42:41,293 --> 00:42:45,714
- And that's what first base is.
- Okay.
552
00:42:46,006 --> 00:42:47,716
Eyes closed.
553
00:43:13,075 --> 00:43:15,244
That was cool.
554
00:43:17,538 --> 00:43:18,580
Now...
555
00:43:19,415 --> 00:43:22,000
...have you ever eaten pussy before?
556
00:43:25,254 --> 00:43:28,173
You call this a party?
557
00:43:28,382 --> 00:43:30,968
I'm a golden goddess!
558
00:43:31,176 --> 00:43:34,054
- Show us how drunk you are!
- Go for it!
559
00:43:40,477 --> 00:43:42,688
You're a unique rebel, Janey!
560
00:43:43,439 --> 00:43:45,315
Janey, are you all right?
561
00:43:46,233 --> 00:43:51,321
- I told you not to let me drink.
- I gave you a nonalcoholic beer.
562
00:43:55,784 --> 00:43:57,411
What the hell are you doing here?
563
00:43:57,619 --> 00:43:59,913
I-- I was invited.
564
00:44:00,122 --> 00:44:04,960
Look, you may have lost those glasses
and that ponytail thing...
565
00:44:05,169 --> 00:44:08,130
...but you're still a loser.
566
00:44:13,844 --> 00:44:17,055
Look at that. Oh, my God.
567
00:44:17,306 --> 00:44:19,516
That's going to stain.
568
00:44:24,646 --> 00:44:26,815
You're not going to cry now, are you?
569
00:45:09,942 --> 00:45:14,071
Look, you can't just start
a slow clap at any old time.
570
00:45:14,279 --> 00:45:15,781
You gotta wait for the right moment.
571
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:19,993
But how am I going to know
when it's the right moment?
572
00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:23,997
You'll know.
573
00:45:37,094 --> 00:45:39,263
Nobody's allowed down here.
574
00:45:39,763 --> 00:45:41,473
Janey, I just thought--
575
00:45:41,682 --> 00:45:44,935
How did you get in here?
I deadbolted the door.
576
00:45:46,436 --> 00:45:48,397
There's a hole in the side
of your house.
577
00:45:54,403 --> 00:45:55,445
Who's that?
578
00:45:56,530 --> 00:45:59,950
- It's my mother.
- You have her eyes.
579
00:46:02,202 --> 00:46:03,620
She died when I was 6.
580
00:46:05,998 --> 00:46:07,040
I'm sorry.
581
00:46:08,083 --> 00:46:10,335
I remember it like it was yesterday.
582
00:46:11,169 --> 00:46:16,842
Christmas, 1989. Dad had been
fired from the zipper factory.
583
00:46:17,217 --> 00:46:20,095
Mom was pulling in tricks
to make ends meet.
584
00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:22,514
Daniel Day-Lewis won an Oscar
for My Left Foot.
585
00:46:23,932 --> 00:46:27,269
And all I wanted was
a little Betsy Wetsy doll.
586
00:46:27,728 --> 00:46:32,065
I remember those. Push her belly,
she'd piss all over herself.
587
00:46:32,899 --> 00:46:36,111
She said she was going out
to get my dad a bottle of gin. ..
588
00:46:37,154 --> 00:46:39,573
...but I knew she was going
to get me that present.
589
00:46:41,116 --> 00:46:45,120
It was raining really hard
that night...
590
00:46:45,287 --> 00:46:48,123
...and the roads were slippery.
591
00:46:48,624 --> 00:46:51,960
Oh, God, Janey.
A car accident.
592
00:46:52,169 --> 00:46:54,296
No. Cancer.
593
00:46:58,008 --> 00:47:01,553
I had to take on
all of her responsibilities:
594
00:47:01,762 --> 00:47:05,307
Cooking and cleaning
and breast-feeding Mitch.
595
00:47:05,515 --> 00:47:08,685
It's in the past.
Think about your future.
596
00:47:08,894 --> 00:47:10,562
Look how talented you are.
597
00:47:11,521 --> 00:47:16,109
I have this dream of just hopping
on a plane and going to Paris.
598
00:47:16,318 --> 00:47:19,321
There's an art school,
but I can't afford it.
599
00:47:19,696 --> 00:47:24,076
Unless I raise $26,000
before the admissions cutoff.
600
00:47:24,284 --> 00:47:29,665
My parents give a scholarship to girls
who can't get into art school.
601
00:47:29,956 --> 00:47:31,792
Really? That's amazing.
602
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:36,338
This year we gave it to Lupe,
the Mexican finger painter.
603
00:47:36,546 --> 00:47:38,590
I think you'd really like her work.
604
00:47:40,217 --> 00:47:43,929
Sometimes I wish my life
was a fairy tale...
605
00:47:44,137 --> 00:47:47,349
...and some guy would come
and take me away.
606
00:48:11,998 --> 00:48:13,458
- I was-- My--
- Yeah--
607
00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:18,004
- My eyes were shut.
- And we couldn't even-- Yeah. Totally.
608
00:48:25,512 --> 00:48:27,931
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna--
609
00:48:28,140 --> 00:48:29,975
- I'm going to go.
- Okay.
610
00:48:30,892 --> 00:48:33,687
Congratulations to the men
and women nominated for prom queen.
611
00:48:44,614 --> 00:48:48,660
Think you'll be prom queen?
Well, think again, Janey.
612
00:48:48,869 --> 00:48:52,748
You put the "ass" in "embarrassment."
The "boo" in "taboo."
613
00:48:52,914 --> 00:48:55,959
And the "suck" in "liposuction."
614
00:48:59,504 --> 00:49:01,214
Is that the best you can do?
615
00:49:02,674 --> 00:49:03,842
No.
616
00:49:04,593 --> 00:49:07,554
You also put the "brat"
in "bratwurst."
617
00:49:07,971 --> 00:49:10,724
And the "eew" in "jujitsu."
618
00:49:10,891 --> 00:49:15,896
And the "ism" in "This is all
just a defense mechanism."
619
00:49:18,023 --> 00:49:22,402
So I told her, "Take the old lady and
send your mama back."
620
00:49:24,154 --> 00:49:28,950
So you asked your four-eyed
circus freak to the prom yet?
621
00:49:29,201 --> 00:49:31,328
We resent that!
622
00:49:32,621 --> 00:49:34,498
Why don't you just drop it, Austin?
623
00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:40,837
Jake made a few paint stains
in his pants thinking about Janey.
624
00:49:41,630 --> 00:49:43,715
It's just a bet. Okay, man?
625
00:49:45,050 --> 00:49:47,761
You always had a thing
for ugly girls...
626
00:49:48,011 --> 00:49:50,764
...Mr. I-Have-
a-Thing-For-Ugly-Girls.
627
00:49:53,934 --> 00:49:55,435
You mean Janey?
628
00:49:55,644 --> 00:49:59,189
She looks as good
as a dumpster full of gristles.
629
00:49:59,397 --> 00:50:01,107
Bling-bling.
630
00:50:03,527 --> 00:50:05,320
Janey Briggs...
631
00:50:06,112 --> 00:50:07,739
...is hot.
632
00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,676
- Hey, Janey.
- Hey, Jake.
633
00:50:27,884 --> 00:50:30,804
I've been doing a lot of thinking...
634
00:50:31,012 --> 00:50:34,307
...and there's something
I want to ask you.
635
00:50:36,017 --> 00:50:38,854
I don't want to make
a big deal of it...
636
00:50:39,104 --> 00:50:42,232
...so I'm just gonna lay it out there,
okay?
637
00:50:44,276 --> 00:50:46,194
Here it is.
638
00:50:48,196 --> 00:50:51,324
See, I don't like making big speeches.
639
00:50:51,575 --> 00:50:55,245
I'm a straight shooter.
I call them like I see them.
640
00:50:55,704 --> 00:50:57,664
What you see is what you get.
641
00:50:58,331 --> 00:51:02,544
Ain't nobody gonna break my stride.
Ain't nobody gonna slow me down.
642
00:51:03,628 --> 00:51:06,965
Jake, are you trying
to ask me to the. ...?
643
00:51:07,173 --> 00:51:08,216
Yeah.
644
00:51:09,509 --> 00:51:11,595
I'd love to go with you.
645
00:51:16,266 --> 00:51:18,727
Great. Great.
646
00:51:21,855 --> 00:51:23,064
I'll see you in English.
647
00:51:27,736 --> 00:51:30,488
It's time to play some football!
648
00:51:30,906 --> 00:51:35,952
The John Hughes Wasps defend their
title against the North Compton Wildcats.
649
00:51:53,803 --> 00:51:55,430
Goddamn!
650
00:52:02,938 --> 00:52:05,941
That was the fastest first half
of football I've ever seen.
651
00:52:10,904 --> 00:52:14,616
We saw you at our practice.
I know you stole our routine.
652
00:52:14,824 --> 00:52:19,579
I don't know what you mean.
We do our own cheers. Right, girls?
653
00:52:19,788 --> 00:52:20,830
That's right.
654
00:52:21,164 --> 00:52:24,125
Well, then, you better bring it.
655
00:52:24,376 --> 00:52:26,628
Oh, it's already been broughten.
656
00:52:27,170 --> 00:52:29,673
Nice comeback, Priscilla! Yeah!
657
00:52:29,839 --> 00:52:33,134
We are the North Compton Wildcats
658
00:52:33,343 --> 00:52:35,011
We're black, we know it
659
00:52:35,220 --> 00:52:37,347
We shake our big booties and show it
660
00:52:37,555 --> 00:52:39,557
We ain't white
We ain't white
661
00:52:39,808 --> 00:52:42,936
We definitely ain't white
Break it down, niggas
662
00:52:48,775 --> 00:52:51,653
Damn, those bitches represent!
663
00:53:01,746 --> 00:53:03,707
- Reggie Ray.
- I smell a bet.
664
00:53:04,833 --> 00:53:06,209
You all right?
665
00:53:06,543 --> 00:53:09,546
Coach says it's okay
to bleed from the ears.
666
00:53:14,926 --> 00:53:16,678
I got to go back out on the field.
667
00:53:19,389 --> 00:53:22,392
All right. Be careful.
You only have three--
668
00:53:23,351 --> 00:53:26,855
Two concussions left. Reggie Ray.
669
00:53:27,063 --> 00:53:28,648
And we're back.
670
00:53:30,567 --> 00:53:32,444
Let's go, Wasps!
671
00:53:39,034 --> 00:53:40,785
Blue 33! Set!
672
00:53:43,038 --> 00:53:44,706
That's defense right there.
673
00:53:45,957 --> 00:53:48,084
Say "good day" to Reggie Ray.
674
00:53:50,587 --> 00:53:53,673
Sit down. He got the wind
knocked out of him.
675
00:53:54,299 --> 00:53:57,343
- Come on, Reggie Ray, get up!
- Reggie Ray.
676
00:53:57,510 --> 00:53:59,763
You still have another concussion!
677
00:54:02,974 --> 00:54:04,017
Come on, dog!
678
00:54:04,726 --> 00:54:06,019
It doesn't look good, coach.
679
00:54:07,270 --> 00:54:09,439
- Can he play?
- He's in a coma.
680
00:54:09,606 --> 00:54:12,734
Answer my question! Can he play?
681
00:54:12,942 --> 00:54:15,737
He can't breathe.
We gotta get him to a hospital.
682
00:54:15,904 --> 00:54:17,113
Listen to me right now!
683
00:54:17,530 --> 00:54:22,869
I don't care what you have to do!
He stays in the game, goddamn it!
684
00:54:34,798 --> 00:54:37,759
Holy shit, this motherfucker's heavy.
685
00:54:38,218 --> 00:54:39,511
Blue 15!
686
00:54:42,305 --> 00:54:43,807
Set! Hut!
687
00:54:47,769 --> 00:54:49,896
Goddamn it, Reggie Ray!
688
00:54:50,855 --> 00:54:52,232
Oh, shit.
689
00:55:11,459 --> 00:55:14,504
Wham, bam!
What the fuck just happened?
690
00:55:17,632 --> 00:55:22,345
Okay, Wyler, I've got no choice.
You're the only quarterback I've got.
691
00:55:23,847 --> 00:55:28,101
- I say give the ball to Marty.
- I'm just happy being on the field.
692
00:55:29,060 --> 00:55:32,564
- You'll always wonder, "What if?"
- I'm a hero!
693
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,610
Goddamn it! Get in the game!
694
00:55:37,819 --> 00:55:39,445
You're our only chance!
695
00:55:40,822 --> 00:55:44,868
- You're a pussy, Wyler!
- Do it for Marty's torso!
696
00:55:48,496 --> 00:55:50,206
You got butterflies, huh?
697
00:55:50,582 --> 00:55:51,666
Who are you?
698
00:55:59,424 --> 00:56:00,592
I'm the wise janitor.
699
00:56:01,217 --> 00:56:04,345
I impart knowledge and help
youngsters overcome their fears.
700
00:56:04,554 --> 00:56:06,723
I also replace the urinal cakes.
701
00:56:06,931 --> 00:56:09,642
I'm here to help you
get your throw back.
702
00:56:10,435 --> 00:56:12,353
- How did you--?
- I've been watching.
703
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:17,233
During practice, in the hallways,
in the lockers, taking a shower...
704
00:56:17,442 --> 00:56:19,319
...whipping boys with a wet towel.
705
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:25,200
- Can tell you kind of like that.
- Hey! Let's get back to the throw.
706
00:56:25,408 --> 00:56:28,161
What happened to Marty
wasn't your fault.
707
00:56:28,328 --> 00:56:29,370
Really?
708
00:56:29,746 --> 00:56:32,832
Okay, it was.
But you got to get over it.
709
00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:34,542
It could've happened to anybody.
710
00:56:35,585 --> 00:56:39,005
Anybody that disobeyed the coach
and the team...
711
00:56:39,214 --> 00:56:44,177
...and threw to a 90-pound kid
who shouldn't have been on the field.
712
00:56:44,385 --> 00:56:48,264
Stop! How is any of this
supposed to be helping me?
713
00:56:48,473 --> 00:56:50,558
Right. Forget what I said.
714
00:56:50,767 --> 00:56:55,438
You got to go out there, believe
in the ball and throw yourself.
715
00:56:55,772 --> 00:56:57,565
You can do it.
716
00:57:02,445 --> 00:57:04,239
I'm going out there.
717
00:57:10,995 --> 00:57:14,540
Only 25 seconds remaining,
and the fate of the season...
718
00:57:14,749 --> 00:57:19,045
...rests in the hands of fourth-string
quarterback Jake Wyler.
719
00:57:19,254 --> 00:57:22,382
Translation: We're shit out of luck.
720
00:57:22,548 --> 00:57:24,926
- Give me a W!
- W!
721
00:57:25,093 --> 00:57:27,220
- Give me a Y!
- Y!
722
00:57:27,428 --> 00:57:30,682
Give me a--
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!
723
00:57:31,474 --> 00:57:34,102
Lick my pussy ass cock shit!
724
00:57:38,398 --> 00:57:39,565
Blue 83!
725
00:57:39,816 --> 00:57:41,276
Blue 83!
726
00:57:42,485 --> 00:57:44,320
I reckon I'm feeling better.
727
00:57:44,570 --> 00:57:45,905
Set! Hut!
728
00:58:29,866 --> 00:58:31,534
Oh, shit.
729
00:58:45,798 --> 00:58:50,303
That has to be the worst pass
I've ever seen, ever.
730
00:58:52,513 --> 00:58:54,474
What the hell was that?
731
00:59:22,585 --> 00:59:24,337
Jake?
732
00:59:26,422 --> 00:59:27,965
Jake.
733
00:59:29,592 --> 00:59:30,802
Hey.
734
00:59:31,552 --> 00:59:34,889
- You did great out there.
- I blew the game, Janey.
735
00:59:35,098 --> 00:59:36,516
I let everyone down.
736
00:59:36,724 --> 00:59:41,604
It's just a football game, Jake.
Besides...
737
00:59:42,730 --> 00:59:44,649
...you didn't let me down.
738
00:59:45,233 --> 00:59:46,484
Really?
739
00:59:47,777 --> 00:59:50,571
Jake, you've taught me to be myself.
740
00:59:50,738 --> 00:59:53,783
You never saw me as the girl
in glasses.
741
00:59:53,991 --> 00:59:55,868
Don't forget
the paint-covered overalls.
742
00:59:56,744 --> 00:59:59,455
Right, you never noticed those either.
743
01:00:00,456 --> 01:00:03,000
You taught me a lot about myself too.
744
01:00:03,376 --> 01:00:07,630
Oh, Jake. Nothing could
ever come between us now.
745
01:00:07,839 --> 01:00:09,132
Jake Wyler.
746
01:00:10,925 --> 01:00:14,345
Congratulations.
You blew my perfect season.
747
01:00:14,554 --> 01:00:18,516
- Señor You-Blew-My-Perfect-Season.
- What do you want, Austin?
748
01:00:18,766 --> 01:00:19,809
A life.
749
01:00:21,519 --> 01:00:22,895
And payback.
750
01:00:23,312 --> 01:00:26,482
- Come on, don't do this.
- No, I'll hang around.
751
01:00:26,691 --> 01:00:31,654
Maybe tell Janey a little
S-E-C-R-A-T-P...
752
01:00:35,074 --> 01:00:36,868
What's going on?
753
01:00:37,034 --> 01:00:38,786
Austin.
754
01:00:38,953 --> 01:00:40,037
This isn't funny!
755
01:00:41,414 --> 01:00:42,540
No.
756
01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:45,209
I don't believe it.
757
01:00:45,418 --> 01:00:50,131
I said I'd turn you into prom queen
when I thought you were ugly...
758
01:00:50,339 --> 01:00:55,136
...the girl with no friends who was
dirt poor and smelled a little funky.
759
01:00:56,012 --> 01:00:58,431
Look, I made a mistake.
760
01:00:59,015 --> 01:01:02,894
If I could go back, I never would've
made that stupid bet.
761
01:01:06,063 --> 01:01:07,148
What bet?
762
01:01:11,110 --> 01:01:13,821
I never said anything about a bet.
763
01:01:24,665 --> 01:01:25,833
All I said was:
764
01:01:26,042 --> 01:01:27,835
"I'm pretending to whisper a big secret...
765
01:01:28,044 --> 01:01:30,087
...so Jake thinks
I'm telling you a secret...
766
01:01:30,254 --> 01:01:32,757
...that will cause him
to break into a hysterical confession...
767
01:01:32,924 --> 01:01:38,179
...revealing a secret and confirming
everything I whispered in your ear."
768
01:02:04,747 --> 01:02:08,125
I wish I didn't make that bet
769
01:02:08,334 --> 01:02:11,921
That's not the guy I want to be
770
01:02:12,129 --> 01:02:15,633
If I could just turn back the clock
771
01:02:15,841 --> 01:02:20,805
Then Janey would still be with me
772
01:02:23,641 --> 01:02:26,811
Tell me, Mom, what should I do?
773
01:02:27,144 --> 01:02:28,479
I love this boy
774
01:02:28,646 --> 01:02:35,486
But he has been untrue
775
01:02:36,487 --> 01:02:39,407
I'll do my best to make things right
776
01:02:40,491 --> 01:02:44,120
I wish we could resolve this fight
777
01:02:44,996 --> 01:02:46,747
It could happen
778
01:02:46,914 --> 01:02:48,457
It could happen
779
01:02:48,666 --> 01:02:52,795
- At the prom tonight
- At the prom tonight
780
01:02:58,384 --> 01:03:01,345
I'm getting pussy no matter what
781
01:03:01,554 --> 01:03:04,307
Even if it with dirty slut
782
01:03:04,515 --> 01:03:07,143
True love is what I want the most
783
01:03:07,351 --> 01:03:10,938
I just jerked off in your French toast
784
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:17,236
So what if we have the same mother
785
01:03:17,403 --> 01:03:22,783
Tonight I'm going to fuck my brother
786
01:03:22,950 --> 01:03:25,786
In a few hours
I'll be queen of the prom
787
01:03:28,706 --> 01:03:32,335
I've been an alcoholic
Since my first tour in 'Nam
788
01:03:34,712 --> 01:03:38,382
I asked Janey to the prom
And she doesn't know why
789
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:44,930
I'm only in the song
Because I'm a black guy
790
01:03:47,808 --> 01:03:52,605
I have no money
I have to make my own dress
791
01:03:54,398 --> 01:04:00,112
Look at me
My breasts are perky, yes
792
01:04:00,279 --> 01:04:03,240
I'm gonna win her back
No matter what it takes
793
01:04:03,449 --> 01:04:09,705
Here I go
I'm gonna forget about Jake
794
01:04:11,457 --> 01:04:13,376
Prom tonight
795
01:04:15,378 --> 01:04:17,254
Prom tonight
796
01:04:18,756 --> 01:04:20,132
Prom tonight
797
01:04:25,638 --> 01:04:28,307
It's gonna happen
Gonna happen
798
01:04:31,977 --> 01:04:38,776
At the prom
799
01:04:38,943 --> 01:04:39,985
Tonight
800
01:04:59,171 --> 01:05:05,219
When I was a freshman,
I threw 176 touchdown passes.
801
01:05:05,469 --> 01:05:10,808
My sophomore year, I ran 14 in
on my own with a sprained ankle...
802
01:05:11,016 --> 01:05:15,312
...a broken phalange, a ruptured
duodenum and a subdermal hematoma.
803
01:05:32,413 --> 01:05:34,498
I bet she great bonk.
804
01:05:34,707 --> 01:05:38,127
Excuse me, Bruce? No.
You don't bonk Amanda Becker.
805
01:05:38,711 --> 01:05:42,506
You make sweet, sweet love to her.
806
01:05:43,215 --> 01:05:45,426
Amanda Becker's like a flower.
807
01:05:46,093 --> 01:05:47,553
You smell her.
808
01:05:47,762 --> 01:05:49,722
You touch her gently.
809
01:05:50,139 --> 01:05:54,769
You admire the beauty.
You watch it blossom.
810
01:05:55,352 --> 01:05:59,940
And you thank God he created
something so perfect.
811
01:06:02,610 --> 01:06:04,111
Go to her.
812
01:06:16,707 --> 01:06:18,751
Be strong, Mitch!
813
01:06:31,806 --> 01:06:33,265
What do you expect from me?
814
01:06:35,226 --> 01:06:39,730
- Do you think I'll have sex with you?
- No! You don't understand.
815
01:06:39,939 --> 01:06:42,066
Because I am not a cheap slut.
816
01:06:42,274 --> 01:06:45,277
I don't screw every pathetic guy
that gives me a letter.
817
01:06:48,906 --> 01:06:50,199
I give them handjobs.
818
01:06:59,375 --> 01:07:02,795
- Want to dance?
- Only if we're horizontal.
819
01:07:03,295 --> 01:07:05,422
I totally heard that.
820
01:07:19,520 --> 01:07:21,397
We're dancing.
821
01:07:42,668 --> 01:07:43,752
It's funny.
822
01:07:43,919 --> 01:07:47,673
You'd never suspect everyone
here is a professional dancer.
823
01:08:02,104 --> 01:08:03,439
Oh, God. No.
824
01:08:03,647 --> 01:08:05,816
I want to do it right here
on the dance floor.
825
01:08:05,983 --> 01:08:07,151
Janey.
826
01:08:07,359 --> 01:08:10,613
Don't you forget our deal.
She wins, you're mine.
827
01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:27,004
And now the moment every popular guy
who's made a bet...
828
01:08:27,212 --> 01:08:31,800
...to turn a uniquely rebellious girl
into prom queen has been waiting for:
829
01:08:31,967 --> 01:08:35,346
The announcement
of the prom king and queen.
830
01:08:35,554 --> 01:08:38,057
This year's prom king is...
831
01:08:38,724 --> 01:08:39,767
Marty!
832
01:08:40,517 --> 01:08:41,685
...Jake Wyler!
833
01:08:57,159 --> 01:08:58,577
Way to go, Jake!
834
01:08:59,203 --> 01:09:02,039
This year's prom queen is.. ..
835
01:09:02,247 --> 01:09:03,540
You got it, Priscilla!
836
01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:07,336
- It's in the bag, Priscilla.
- I don't believe it. It's a tie.
837
01:09:07,836 --> 01:09:08,879
A tie?
838
01:09:09,046 --> 01:09:10,756
- Holy shit!
- Oh, my God.
839
01:09:12,383 --> 01:09:14,718
Your new prom queens are. ..
840
01:09:16,136 --> 01:09:19,598
-...Kara and Sara Fratelli.
- Fuck.
841
01:09:20,641 --> 01:09:24,478
- Oh, my God!
- They deserve it.
842
01:09:26,897 --> 01:09:28,232
Congratulations!
843
01:09:30,526 --> 01:09:34,238
There we go! Your king and queen.
844
01:09:40,244 --> 01:09:43,622
I say we make like a tree
and branch...
845
01:09:44,415 --> 01:09:46,166
...out of here.
846
01:09:47,918 --> 01:09:49,795
All right, Kara and Sara.
847
01:09:49,962 --> 01:09:53,590
Now, it is traditional
for the king and queen...
848
01:09:53,799 --> 01:09:56,802
-...to share a ceremonial dance.
- Come here.
849
01:10:07,813 --> 01:10:09,398
You smell good.
850
01:10:22,953 --> 01:10:24,997
Janey.
851
01:10:29,043 --> 01:10:31,253
Do you know where Austin went?
852
01:10:31,462 --> 01:10:35,466
I know he rented a room at
the Sunrise Motel. Room number six.
853
01:10:35,674 --> 01:10:38,844
Past the ice dispenser.
Hit the Pepsi machine, you went too far.
854
01:10:39,887 --> 01:10:42,556
Oh, and the door will not be locked.
855
01:10:45,142 --> 01:10:46,643
That's all I know.
856
01:10:47,728 --> 01:10:49,021
Thanks, Malik.
857
01:10:50,064 --> 01:10:56,278
You know, you're intelligent and insightful.
You don't get the respect you deserve.
858
01:10:58,864 --> 01:11:00,157
You really mean that, Jake?
859
01:11:00,866 --> 01:11:04,620
That's great! I've always wanted
to discuss with you the repercussions--
860
01:11:04,787 --> 01:11:06,705
I actually got to go. Sorry.
861
01:11:07,456 --> 01:11:08,499
Motherfucker.
862
01:11:08,707 --> 01:11:10,626
Hold it right there, mister.
863
01:11:10,959 --> 01:11:16,215
I am not going to let you hurt Janey
again, okay? Besides, I love her.
864
01:11:16,423 --> 01:11:17,591
Well, so do I.
865
01:11:18,550 --> 01:11:23,222
But I'm the best friend, and I've
been in front of her the whole time...
866
01:11:23,430 --> 01:11:27,559
...and she just doesn't realize it yet,
but she will.
867
01:11:28,310 --> 01:11:31,563
I'm the cool guy who's learned
the error of his ways.
868
01:11:31,897 --> 01:11:35,275
She'll forgive my mistakes
and realize I love her.
869
01:11:37,069 --> 01:11:38,654
Damn it. That's true.
870
01:11:53,585 --> 01:11:56,547
Why's this door locked?
It's a fire hazard!
871
01:12:12,104 --> 01:12:14,148
Get out of the road!
872
01:12:14,356 --> 01:12:15,774
Hey, watch it, man!
873
01:12:16,984 --> 01:12:19,278
She's not attracted to you!
874
01:12:19,903 --> 01:12:21,822
She doesn't love you!
875
01:12:22,781 --> 01:12:25,325
You'll never be more than a friend!
876
01:12:26,160 --> 01:12:28,162
Two dollars!
877
01:12:37,254 --> 01:12:39,131
Ice dispenser.
878
01:12:39,756 --> 01:12:41,383
Six.
879
01:12:41,633 --> 01:12:45,804
Oh, yeah! I'll make you forget all
about losing prom queen.
880
01:12:45,971 --> 01:12:49,516
Tell me who your daddy is!
Tell me who your papa is!
881
01:12:51,977 --> 01:12:53,645
Get off her, man!
882
01:12:54,438 --> 01:12:55,606
Priscilla.
883
01:12:55,814 --> 01:12:57,274
Don't move.
884
01:13:02,154 --> 01:13:04,948
- What's going on?
- Something beautiful.
885
01:13:05,824 --> 01:13:09,036
- Where's Janey?
- Miss Run-Home-To-My-Daddy...
886
01:13:09,286 --> 01:13:10,787
...ran home to her daddy.
887
01:13:12,956 --> 01:13:16,543
- That's for taking Janey to the prom.
- You put the--
888
01:13:16,752 --> 01:13:20,297
- That's for hurting her at the party!
- This is really turning me on.
889
01:13:21,798 --> 01:13:24,927
That's for being really weird.
890
01:13:25,135 --> 01:13:26,595
Thank you.
891
01:13:32,142 --> 01:13:34,102
I don't know what that was for.
892
01:13:40,609 --> 01:13:42,277
Hello.
893
01:13:43,987 --> 01:13:45,197
Why...
894
01:13:46,657 --> 01:13:49,868
I never thought I'd hear myself
say this...
895
01:13:50,744 --> 01:13:55,582
...but for once, I wish I could meet
a nice, sensitive guy...
896
01:13:56,083 --> 01:13:57,918
...who wanted more than just sex.
897
01:14:00,504 --> 01:14:03,215
That is very admirable.
898
01:14:05,884 --> 01:14:08,804
I wish a guy would
take me out for dinner.
899
01:14:09,263 --> 01:14:11,056
I feel the same way.
900
01:14:13,183 --> 01:14:14,977
And for once...
901
01:14:16,937 --> 01:14:20,148
...I wish a guy would take a dump
on my chest.
902
01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:25,195
That is appalling.
903
01:14:29,533 --> 01:14:31,493
That really upsets me.
904
01:14:32,828 --> 01:14:35,455
I can't believe nobody's ever taken
a dump on your chest.
905
01:14:40,669 --> 01:14:42,254
Will you be that guy?
906
01:14:48,969 --> 01:14:52,889
It would be an honor and a privilege.
907
01:15:03,191 --> 01:15:04,693
Janey!
908
01:15:08,071 --> 01:15:09,323
Hello?
909
01:15:10,282 --> 01:15:12,117
Is anybody home?
910
01:15:12,659 --> 01:15:15,120
Get down! Enemy fire!
911
01:15:16,621 --> 01:15:18,290
Mr. Briggs?
912
01:15:18,498 --> 01:15:21,543
Excuse me, sir.
Do you know where Janey is?
913
01:15:21,793 --> 01:15:26,256
She went out there. On her own.
There's Charlie everywhere.
914
01:15:26,757 --> 01:15:29,176
Right. Do you know where she went?
915
01:15:29,509 --> 01:15:32,179
Couldn't take it. Went to the airport.
916
01:15:32,387 --> 01:15:37,100
Something about Paris.
Her tour was over.
917
01:15:37,392 --> 01:15:39,561
Paris. Thank you, sir.
918
01:15:40,020 --> 01:15:43,732
I need ammo! I can't hold them off
much longer!
919
01:15:49,696 --> 01:15:52,699
Off the road, you glasses
and ponytail freak!
920
01:16:05,837 --> 01:16:07,047
Two dollars!
921
01:16:07,506 --> 01:16:09,383
- Two dollars!
- Two dollars!
922
01:16:15,722 --> 01:16:17,891
Next stop, airport.
923
01:16:18,141 --> 01:16:22,687
The red zone is for the loading
and unloading of passengers.
924
01:16:22,896 --> 01:16:24,398
No parking.
925
01:16:24,606 --> 01:16:25,816
Attention, please.
926
01:16:26,024 --> 01:16:31,363
All red Porsche 944s parked in the
white zone will be towed immediately.
927
01:16:36,660 --> 01:16:40,205
Paris Air, Flight 805 to art school
in Paris...
928
01:16:40,414 --> 01:16:42,666
...from Gate 122, is now boarding.
929
01:16:56,096 --> 01:16:58,473
Excuse me, everyone!
930
01:16:59,099 --> 01:17:03,311
There's a girl boarding a plane
right now to Paris that I love.
931
01:17:04,855 --> 01:17:08,024
If I don't get there in time
and tell her how I feel...
932
01:17:08,608 --> 01:17:10,235
...I may never see her again.
933
01:17:15,282 --> 01:17:16,450
Go get her, son.
934
01:17:17,492 --> 01:17:18,785
Good luck, young man.
935
01:17:21,121 --> 01:17:22,956
- Go get her!
- Go for it.
936
01:17:25,625 --> 01:17:27,002
Oh, hell, just go.
937
01:17:29,796 --> 01:17:30,881
Freeze, bitch!
938
01:17:41,850 --> 01:17:44,311
You're bleeding on my suitcase.
939
01:17:50,567 --> 01:17:51,610
Excuse me!
940
01:17:52,652 --> 01:17:54,070
Excuse me, everyone!
941
01:17:54,571 --> 01:18:00,368
There's a girl about to board a plane
to Paris right now that I love and--
942
01:18:00,535 --> 01:18:03,914
We already heard that one. Asshole.
943
01:18:05,749 --> 01:18:10,712
This is the final call for Paris Air
Flight 805 to art school...
944
01:18:10,921 --> 01:18:13,173
...departing from Gate 122.
945
01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:14,966
Janey!
946
01:18:16,092 --> 01:18:17,427
Hey, shithead, that's mine.
947
01:18:18,512 --> 01:18:19,846
Give it back!
948
01:18:20,180 --> 01:18:23,892
Just believe in the ball, Jake.
And throw yourself.
949
01:18:37,239 --> 01:18:38,698
Nice shot, Jake.
950
01:18:40,951 --> 01:18:44,079
- Jake?
- Janey. Thank God I got to you in time.
951
01:18:44,246 --> 01:18:47,666
Listen to me.
I'm not going to let you go to Paris.
952
01:18:48,208 --> 01:18:51,002
- This is the final call...
- Why not?
953
01:18:51,211 --> 01:18:53,421
...for flight nonstop to art school.
954
01:18:53,630 --> 01:18:59,302
If you’re finding words to stop a girl
from leaving, now would be the time.
955
01:18:59,469 --> 01:19:01,179
Janey. ..
956
01:19:02,556 --> 01:19:06,268
...I made that bet before I knew you.
957
01:19:07,602 --> 01:19:09,938
Before I really knew me.
958
01:19:11,648 --> 01:19:12,941
Oh, Jake.
959
01:19:15,068 --> 01:19:16,820
Okay, hold it right there.
960
01:19:20,949 --> 01:19:24,244
Tell me you didn't quote
Freddie Prinze Jr.
961
01:19:26,162 --> 01:19:29,958
I knew it. That was a line
from She's All That.
962
01:19:30,166 --> 01:19:32,586
I masturbate to that movie.
963
01:19:35,922 --> 01:19:37,007
Do you mind?
964
01:19:37,173 --> 01:19:40,385
No, not at all.
Masturbation's very healthy.
965
01:19:44,055 --> 01:19:48,935
Janey, you said you couldn't believe
in someone that didn't believe in you.
966
01:19:49,269 --> 01:19:53,440
Well, I believed in you.
I always believed in you.
967
01:19:54,608 --> 01:19:55,692
Oh, Jake.
968
01:19:56,443 --> 01:20:00,322
Oh, God. I can't believe
you fell for that crap.
969
01:20:00,488 --> 01:20:03,158
- That's from Pretty in Pink.
- Are you sure?
970
01:20:03,950 --> 01:20:05,035
Trust me.
971
01:20:05,201 --> 01:20:10,457
- Excuse me. What are you doing?
- Let me give you some advice, Jake.
972
01:20:10,624 --> 01:20:14,544
Lose the I'm-The-Cute-And-Sensitive
Popular-Boy routine.
973
01:20:14,794 --> 01:20:15,879
It's pathetic.
974
01:20:16,087 --> 01:20:19,424
And tell Janey
what's true in your heart.
975
01:20:19,633 --> 01:20:21,301
Stop being such a little bitch.
976
01:20:22,552 --> 01:20:27,390
And you. Miss Other-Side-Of-The-Tracks
Awkward-Rebel-With-Glasses.
977
01:20:27,849 --> 01:20:32,312
Wise up to Jake's bullshit.
Stop being such a dumb-ass.
978
01:20:35,899 --> 01:20:37,317
She's right.
979
01:20:38,026 --> 01:20:40,236
- Janey. ...
- Yes, Jake?
980
01:20:42,906 --> 01:20:45,617
Maybe you should get on that plane
and go to Paris.
981
01:20:47,827 --> 01:20:51,539
Well, if you stay,
we really only have the summer.
982
01:20:51,748 --> 01:20:56,044
Then I go to college. We'll spend
the occasional weekend together.
983
01:20:56,252 --> 01:20:57,504
Which is nice.
984
01:20:58,129 --> 01:21:02,634
But chances are, one night I'll get
wrecked and have sex with some girl.
985
01:21:02,842 --> 01:21:04,761
You'll find her thong and call me a slut.
986
01:21:05,053 --> 01:21:08,223
I'll call you a cocktease
and we'll break up.
987
01:21:08,431 --> 01:21:12,185
So when you really think about it,
what's the point?
988
01:21:15,355 --> 01:21:20,443
Well, that wasn't exactly the kind
of truth I was expecting.
989
01:21:22,821 --> 01:21:27,492
But I'm not gonna fall for it. How big
of a dumb-ass do you think I am?
990
01:21:27,659 --> 01:21:30,286
You obviously stole that
from Karate Kid.
991
01:21:30,912 --> 01:21:32,706
No, actually, I--
992
01:21:32,997 --> 01:21:35,500
Jake, it's okay.
993
01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,836
I love you too.
994
01:21:38,002 --> 01:21:39,713
We all know where this is going.
995
01:21:40,380 --> 01:21:42,424
Fucking teenagers.
996
01:21:51,891 --> 01:21:53,309
This is it.
997
01:21:53,476 --> 01:21:54,978
The right moment.
998
01:22:09,701 --> 01:22:11,578
Son of a bitch!
999
01:22:30,764 --> 01:22:32,056
Betty...
1000
01:22:33,057 --> 01:22:35,185
...meet Apollonia.
1001
01:22:35,351 --> 01:22:37,771
We're going to have a three-way.
1002
01:28:40,883 --> 01:28:43,803
Sun's burned my cornea
1003
01:28:44,470 --> 01:28:48,141
I can no longer see
1004
01:28:48,724 --> 01:28:53,771
I'm not kidding
Somebody please fucking help me
1005
01:28:57,150 --> 01:28:58,860
Quick! Grab her guitar.
74979
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