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-David Hassel...-David Hasselhoff...
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He was the starof Knight Rider and Baywatch
3
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,160
and even found time tobring down the Berlin Wall.
4
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,000
According to The Guinness Book
of World Records,
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00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,080
over 1.1 billion viewerswatched David Hasselhoff
6
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:19,480
at the height of his fame.But where did the viewers go?
7
00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,480
...comeback tourwas pulled by US promoters.
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Is the career of the famouslifeguard all washed up?
9
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,960
And another divorce for David Hasselhoff
10
00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,960
and a fifth setof alimony payments to make.
11
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,440
David Hasselhoff has nowfiled for bankruptcy.
12
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,320
According to his UK manager,he's leaving the United States
13
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,080
to pursue opportunities in England.
14
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,360
We need the money, we're desperate.
15
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,120
Last week, I was trying to find out
if you had any untapped PPI claims.
16
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:45,040
Give me, like, one week on the car.
17
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,560
Hey! No, I've got soft mints
in the glove box.
18
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,480
This warlord is a very,
very dangerous man.
19
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,600
Enjoy party!
20
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,800
Him can really break your balls.
21
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,880
-[gun fires]
-Oh!
22
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,680
-Pop-pop! Break his balls.
-Oh! Oh!
23
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,400
David looks ridiculous.
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00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:01,920
-Shoot chicken!
-[screams]
25
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,440
-[exploding]
-[both] Whoa!
26
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,760
Twitter is really ripping into him.
27
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,000
-You're fired.
-You can't just fire me.
28
00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:09,840
You, English, is Schweineficker!
29
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,320
I literally cannot believe
that you have sacked Harriet.
30
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,720
All three of them had been
locked in the boot for a month
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00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,800
before we found them.
32
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:21,440
-Hey!
-Five.
33
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:24,760
-Six.
-What's going on?
34
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This is my time slot.
What's up?
35
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,760
You know my copy of
The Hunt for Red October?
36
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,640
Yeah.
37
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:33,320
And that medium-sized
kettle bell I lent you?
38
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,120
Yeah.
39
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:36,280
I want them back.
40
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,600
Whoa. What?
41
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,680
Are you angry with me or something?
42
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,200
If you don't pay for me,
you don't get all of me.
43
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,080
I just checked my account.
44
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,280
I haven't been paid for the last
four weeks, so I've got a client
45
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,080
who's filled your time slot who can pay.
46
00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,560
His name is Jeremy,
he's a chartered accountant.
47
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,200
He's got a lovely, full head of hair.
48
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Well, uh, Jeremy is about to kill himself.
49
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[Jeremy coughing and struggling]
50
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,200
Ever since we got back from Tergistan,
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00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,840
everything's been shit.
52
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,080
I mean, it felt like a failure.
53
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,720
-[screaming] No, no!
-[screeching]
54
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,800
We're going to get killed.
55
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:15,960
You know, we are very much limited
in terms of our options right now.
56
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,000
Basically, we're in the shit.
57
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,400
Well, what does
"Basically, we're in the shit" mean?
58
00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,200
-OK, you got fired from the film.
-I quit.
59
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,360
We didn't get paid for the advert.
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00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,480
We didn't get paid by the warlord.
61
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,240
The land mine charity has just
invoiced us for 100 grand
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00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,200
because we had to be rescued
from a minefield in Tergistan.
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00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:42,160
We haven't paid the hotel,
Danny, Harriet, for the last two months.
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00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,480
And I've just washed all my clothes
upstairs in the sink
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00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:45,800
and they're drying on the radiator.
66
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,400
Don't sugar-coat it, Max,
tell me like it is.
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00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,880
Yeah, I haven't finished that, mate.
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00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,200
-What gigs we got coming up?
-Nothing.
69
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:56,280
Nothing?
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00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,280
There was a pantomime that
you turned down.
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00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,480
What's a pantomime?
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00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,920
It's a really respected form
of British theatre.
73
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,600
-Really?
-Yeah.
74
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,000
Christopher Biggins is in it.
75
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,760
Who's Christopher Biggins?
76
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:11,520
He's like the British Ryan Gosling.
77
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,800
Book it.
78
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,280
-OK. Yeah.
-Yeah.
79
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,240
-Book it.
-OK.
80
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,320
I'll buy you a beer.
81
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,840
[Max] Sorry, Bob, I'm just trying to get
my head around this.
82
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,160
It feels like I'm having a stroke.
83
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,000
Christopher-fucking-Biggins
is worried about
84
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,480
sharing a bill with David Hasselhoff?
85
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,800
Why? Bad press?
86
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,600
You're not going to like this.
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00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,680
[David sighs]
88
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,280
They want you to have a face-to-face
with Christopher Biggins
89
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,080
at Southend-on-Sea tomorrow morning.
90
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,400
-Fine.
-Fine?
91
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,000
-Fine.
-OK.
92
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,440
Apparently, things aren't looking
good for David financially.
93
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,520
Well, I get 15% of what he gets,
94
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:49,240
so how do you think
they're looking for me?
95
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,200
My suits right now are
at the dry cleaner's, right?
96
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,280
I can't get them until I can
pay the bill for those suits.
97
00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:58,640
My suits are in prison.
98
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,200
When you go for a piss in a suit,
99
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,600
inevitably, there might be
a little bit of dribble.
100
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,880
In a dark suit, you can't see it.
101
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,880
In these tracksuit bottoms,
102
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,760
every piss is a risk!
103
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,200
What's going on?
104
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,640
I am going back to Germany.
105
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,920
Dieter, you can't go back to Germany.
What are you talking about?
106
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Stick around.
107
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,880
No, Dad, I have decided.
You can't stop me.
108
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,920
I don't know a lot about
the entertainment industry,
109
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,960
but what I do know is
you don't sack people
110
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:30,480
who are doing a good job.
111
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:31,880
What are you going to do about Harriet?
112
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,520
Max says I can't afford to pay her.
113
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,680
I am really angry now, but I am not
going to show it in my face.
114
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240
-I'm broke, Dieter.
-That's just an excuse!
115
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,320
You know what?
116
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,480
Michael Knight would not have
let this happen.
117
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,120
Liam Neeson would not let this happen.
118
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,440
Stop with the Liam Neeson stuff!
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00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,280
Even SpongeBob SquarePants
would not have let this happen.
120
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,240
Dieter, you forgot your
121
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,120
inhaler!
122
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,200
[sighs]
123
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,160
Damn it!
124
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,280
[sighs loudly]
125
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:09,920
Whoa.
126
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,240
[groans]
127
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,960
[breathes out deeply]
128
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,600
-Hey, buddy.
-Hello, Hoff, how you doing?
129
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,240
Do you know where Southend-on-Sea is?
130
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,720
-Yeah, do you want to go there?
-Yeah.
131
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,480
By the way, listen, boss,
if you don't mind, I've got to go home
132
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,520
and just pick something up
on the way, if that's all right.
133
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:44,320
That's fine. I've just got to
look at my script anyway.
134
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,560
-Do you know anything about pantos?
-No.
135
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,000
Everything seemed fine that day.
136
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,280
But I was wrong.
137
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,080
Let's jog, let's jog a little bit.
138
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,960
Yeah, a little jog with Daddy.
139
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:11,960
There you go. Get in the car.
140
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,960
Whoa, what's going on?
141
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,440
-That's all right, don't worry about it.
-Whoa.
142
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,480
And this is when I realised that
something was wrong.
143
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:23,120
Terry, what's going on?
Why is she here? She's crying.
144
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:24,720
Listen, Jamilla, baby, it's all right.
145
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,400
Listen, we're just going
on a little ride, all right?
146
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,800
This is David Hasselhoff,
he's a big, big star,
147
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:30,880
he was in SpongeBob!
148
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,880
SpongeBob is boring.
149
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,720
Yeah, well, I saved SpongeBob's life.
150
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,400
Rubbish!
151
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,720
That's so sweet.
152
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,960
Buddy, she is crying!
Why is she here?
153
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:43,440
She's in her pyjamas.
154
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,480
Look, it's my wife, mate, all right?
155
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,040
She doesn't... She doesn't
let me see my own kid.
156
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,840
That's impossible!
You live with your wife.
157
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,000
Look, David, I lied, mate.
All right, look.
158
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,720
I don't live with my family, OK? Yeah.
159
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,200
I live in a little tiny bedsit
in Reigate, yeah.
160
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,440
And, like, she doesn't let me see my kid.
161
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,520
You've got ex-wives,
you feel my pain, right?
162
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,200
You know what I'm going through right now.
163
00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,280
I need to see my daughter.
164
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,600
She is spending her life
without her old man,
165
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,760
and I mean, look at me,
166
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,040
I'm a perfect role model for any child.
167
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,280
Buddy, what you're doing is stupid!
168
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,040
There's no happy ending in this, OK?
169
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:15,520
No happy ending!
170
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,560
Now, do me a favour, OK?
171
00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:21,440
Slow the car down,
pull over and let me out.
172
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,320
OK? Slow the car down,
pull over, I'm out, OK?
173
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,480
I got a meeting with Christopher Biggins.
174
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,640
This is bigger than Biggins
right now, mate. Yeah?
175
00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,200
[Terry] This, this is our mission.
176
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:39,920
[mobile vibrating]
177
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,520
And nothing's going to
stop our mission, mate.
178
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,640
David,
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00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:55,640
I'm going to have to ask you to give me
the phone right now.
180
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,320
Give me the phone, David!
181
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,720
Give me the phone.
182
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,480
I'm telling you, this is not cool.
This is not cool.
183
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,400
[mobile vibrating]
184
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,040
[mobile ringing]
185
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,280
[Terry] What do you want, Leila?
186
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,360
Bring Jamilla back here now.
187
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,040
I don't care, I've taken her.
188
00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,640
She's my daughter as well.
189
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,720
Jamilla's mum is...
She's difficult, you know what I mean?
190
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,880
It's a very rocky relationship
we have, you know,
191
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,720
when you kind of hate and love someone,
192
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,040
but then you also love to hate them,
and hate to love them,
193
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,160
and hate love.
194
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,200
Love, hating, love.
I got a bit confused there,
195
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,160
but basically, she's a bit of a bitch.
196
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,200
Why is Daddy shouting at Mummy?
197
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,880
-So what? It's not fair, all right?
-I really don't know, sweetie.
198
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,800
-But I've got this show here.
-I'm in my car
199
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,480
with my daughter and David Hasselhoff.
200
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,920
It's called Peter Pan, it's really good.
201
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,000
-Have you ever seen it?
-David Hasselhoff?
202
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,760
-What's he doing with Jamilla?-Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
203
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,360
Yeah, he's here with me,
he's part of my plan.
204
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,600
-Part of what plan?
-Nothing can stop us, yeah?
205
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,960
What's David Hasselhoff's plan?
206
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:01,040
You're never going to
get away from me alive!
207
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,120
He's going to kill her?
208
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,040
He's my friend!
No, wait, he's my best friend!
209
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:09,000
I knew this would happenwhen you started driving for that weirdo.
210
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,440
-We're in this together now.
-I'm calling the police!
211
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:14,080
-You can't stop us.
-The police can stop you.
212
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,440
Just for that, I'll slice you open and rip
out your gizzards.
213
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,320
I love my daughter,
and nothing is going to stop me.
214
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,720
I'm not having David Hasselhoff...
215
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,120
I don't want to hear any more, Leila.
216
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,440
...put his hands on my daughter.
217
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,560
-I'm sick of your voice.
-[hangs up]
218
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,600
I really need a wee.
219
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,240
Hear that, Terry? Your daughter really
needs to go to the bathroom,
220
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,640
you know, buddy, and so do I.
221
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,440
So why don't you pull over,
OK, and I'll take her to the bathroom?
222
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:36,600
We can't stop now.
223
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,280
Nothing can stop our mission.
224
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,960
Nothing.
225
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,440
What mission?
226
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,240
[Dieter] Well, thanks for letting me stay.
227
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:51,240
As they say, the rolling stone
doesn't gather the moss,
228
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:55,200
but don't put the moss on top of...
229
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,520
Thanks for having me to stay.
230
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:01,800
You are a very kind woman,
and you have a very English family.
231
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,360
[Terry] I've got this app,
we can listen in to the police.
232
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,440
[radio static]
233
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,360
[woman] Dispatch.
Yeah, we're getting new information.
234
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,240
David Hasselhoff,I repeat, David Hasselhoff
235
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:17,840
is in the car with a little girl.
236
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:20,160
Did you hear that? That's us!
237
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,640
The plan's working. It's finally working.
238
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,240
Why did they mention my name?
I'm not a part of this.
239
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,880
Dave, you are now.
This is me and you now.
240
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,280
This is our thing, man.
241
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,040
No, no, it's not our thing.
242
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,160
I'm not a part of this situation.
I'm telling you,
243
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,720
you've got to pull over, brother,
you got to pull over right now!
244
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,480
Daddy! I really need a wee.
245
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,240
You hear that? She's really got to go,
I've got to go too.
246
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,160
I drank two quarts of
coconut water this morning.
247
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,760
Come on, brother, pull over!
248
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,600
Listen, listen, you lot can go
when we get to the cliffs.
249
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,880
Cliffs? What cliffs?
250
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:50,920
The White Cliffs of Dover!
251
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,440
That's the best place to end it.
252
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,200
-To end what?
-End it all.
253
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:58,520
Maybe you could come and visit me in
Dusseldorf sometime?
254
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:02,520
The thing about Harriet,
she's quite a sensual girl.
255
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,680
She is not afraid to wear
something that is a bit sexy,
256
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,160
and I think she has been looking at me
257
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,320
in that sort of a way, you know.
258
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:17,960
No.
259
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,760
[man on radio] Now, we're just gettingsome breaking news,
260
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,400
but it seems but there areunconfirmed reports...
261
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,480
Bye, Dieter!
262
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:28,680
...that David Hasselhoff of Baywatch
and Knight Rider...
263
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:29,920
Do you mind just turning that up?
264
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,040
...has abducted a young girlfrom her house.
265
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,880
It seems there is a warrantout for his arrest.
266
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,520
The police are telling peopleto avoid the southern stretch of the A2...
267
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,480
Could you just hold on
for a minute, please?
268
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:41,920
...between exits 7 and 9.We are trying to find out...
269
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,360
Max! It's Harriet,
have you heard about David?
270
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,680
[Max] Yeah, it's great, innit?
271
00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,960
Yeah, he's actually trending on Twitter.
272
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,160
It's fantastic.
273
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,560
Now, we are due to have a phone-in
about funny names for cheese,
274
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,000
but I want to know what
you think of this news.
275
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,480
This is happening live right now.
276
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,280
What is going on with David Hasselhoff?
277
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,160
But, Max, we need to help him.
278
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:04,920
Can you come and pick us up in your car?
279
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,480
I did have a car,
but that has been repossessed.
280
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,640
Right, we'll be with you ASAP.
Where are you?
281
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,920
Do you know a place called Spoons?
282
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:14,800
Why are you in a strip bar?
283
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,040
I represent David.
Do I truly know him?
284
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,640
Do I truly know what he's capable of?
285
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,680
I don't know.
I don't know if I do.
286
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,520
Did the cast of Animal Hospital
truly know Rolf Harris?
287
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,680
You want to be able to say,
288
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:33,000
"Oh, no, he seemed like
such a lovely bloke", but...
289
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:35,280
Were there signs?
290
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,800
I don't know. He knew a lot about
SpongeBob SquarePants.
291
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,760
This is Talk London FM.
292
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,160
Has the Hoff gone mental?
293
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,320
[tweeting]
294
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,960
[Max] Yeah, I'll be honest, I was excitedthat David was trending.
295
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,000
That is never a bad thing.
296
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,880
I was persistently looking at
Amazon sales ranks to see
297
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,800
if his autobiography had gone up at all.
298
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,440
It had, it broke the top 300,000.
I was pleased for him.
299
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,480
OK, so we can offer you a brand-new,
300
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,440
updated version of his biography.
301
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:18,920
No, it's not gonna go wrong.
302
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:23,640
No, there is no way that he is going
to kill that kid, or any kid.
303
00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,160
That's just not his style.
304
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,760
All right, let's say he kills the kid.
305
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:34,240
I am sat right now with Dieter Hasselhoff,
306
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,040
his long-lost German son,
307
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:41,800
who would be more than happy
to write a memoir
308
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,760
all about being abandoned as a baby
in the rubble of the Berlin Wall,
309
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,640
and the tragedy of losing the Hoff twice.
310
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,200
Think about it!
311
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,320
I am slightly conflicted
about Max's book idea
312
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:57,600
because I think I would be
a good novelist,
313
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,160
but also I don't want to
314
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,640
write shit about my dad
after he has shot himself in the head.
315
00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,040
Can you picture it in your mind?
316
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,840
[man] I can't. I don't likethe look of this one.
317
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,720
-Does it look good?
-No.
318
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:14,080
OK, we could call it Abandoned Hasselhoff.
319
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,760
-Das Verlassene Hasselhoff.-It's not going to work.
320
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,320
-Das Verlassene Hasselhoff.-I tell you what, is he good-looking?
321
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,120
-No, he's not a looker.
-Not a good cover?
322
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,280
No, we won't have his face on the cover.
323
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,240
[woman over radio] Dispatch here.There is speculation
324
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,320
that the suspect is drivingtowards Dover and the coast.
325
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:44,920
We need patrols on the A2,A22 and the A259.
326
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,720
Right, listen, did you hear that, yeah?
327
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,680
We've got to change route, all right?
328
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:49,920
Don't worry, don't worry.
329
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:51,720
I know a place that we can go,
330
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,200
a place where we can finish this.
331
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,120
You can't put yourself above the law.
332
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,520
You can't fight against them.
They're going to win, man!
333
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,000
You've got to understand, man,
this is the only way.
334
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,200
This is the only way.
335
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:03,160
[Harriet] What is David's password?
336
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,680
If I can figure it out,
then we could track his phone.
337
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,800
Is it Dieter?
338
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,120
No, it wouldn't be you.
339
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,440
Try "David Hasselhoff".
340
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,560
"David Hasselhoff."
341
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,400
Oh, my goodness, it worked.
342
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,560
We're in!
343
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,760
Driver, please follow that flashing dot,
that's David Hasselhoff!
344
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,120
[driver] All right, love.
If I crash, you're paying.
345
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:28,680
Am I paying?
346
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:29,880
If you want to, yeah.
347
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:34,120
So we tracked David's phone,
348
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,560
and I felt like, you know, I was KITT.
I was KITT.
349
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,240
[chuckles]
350
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,080
[Jamilla] Daddy, I really need a wee.
351
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,760
Listen, look, baby,
we're almost there, all right?
352
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,000
Please just give us a couple of minutes,
we're nearly there.
353
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,440
I can't, it's coming!
354
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:51,800
Give me a minute.
We're nearly there, all right?
355
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,360
Terry, it's your daughter.
356
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,840
If she goes on the seat,
it could traumatise her for life.
357
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,680
If she goes on my $2,000 suit,
it could traumatise me.
358
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,400
Come on, man. Pull over.
359
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,200
[Terry] We can't stop right now,
the police are onto us.
360
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,200
[woman on radio] If he's donesomething to that little kid,
361
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,800
he should be burned at the stake.
362
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,680
Well, that's just too much. We've moved on
from that, that's just medieval.
363
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,760
Most of you seem to be saying that
the Hoff has completely lost it this time.
364
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,360
You're a backstabber,
you're meant to be friends with David.
365
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,400
I should mention here that I used
to be on pretty friendly terms
366
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,720
with David Hasselhoff.
367
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,800
He invited me to LA,
368
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,240
and on the first dayI got there, he asked me
369
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,080
to go for a Chinese in a shopping mallwith him and The Saturdays.
370
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,280
He turned up two hours late,
371
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,440
me and all of The Saturdayswere sat there, eventually we ordered,
372
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,000
he turned up for 20 minutes,
and then left us with the bill.
373
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,480
It just shows you never really
know someone, do you?
374
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,080
[woman over radio]
Suspect has been located.
375
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,920
Repeat, do not intercept.
376
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,320
There is a child on board.
377
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,600
They're onto us.
378
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:55,120
Terry, there are police cars,
there are sirens, come on, man.
379
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,000
[speaking German]
380
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,080
[speaking Japanese]
381
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,720
[presenter] Now,
this could be interesting.
382
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,600
We've got Josh on line three.
383
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:27,640
Josh, I want to know aboutthe David Hasselhoff that you know.
384
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
You recently worked on a film
with him, is that right?
385
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,320
[Josh] That's right, I did.
386
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,760
Oh, this prick. This guy
is a complete tool box.
387
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,040
[Josh] He actually attacked his co-star,it was vicious.
388
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,520
So are you, fundamentally,
on the inside, Josh.
389
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,520
[presenter] What is going on in Hoff-land?
390
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,720
Listen, listen, Hoff, yeah,
391
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,360
these people don't understand you,
mate, all right, yeah?
392
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,280
They're not even fit to clean your shoes,
mate, all right?
393
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,160
I'm going to give them a piece of my mind.
394
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,760
No, no.
Do me a favour, don't, OK?
395
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:52,360
No, no, I will, I insist.
396
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,640
[Max] Do you really think this is
the best way to get to that flashing dot?
397
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,080
You're driving like a bell-end.
398
00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,760
Hello, yes, my name's Terry.
399
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:00,920
[David] Oh, great.
400
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,880
Now, we've got Terry on the line.
401
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:06,080
Terry, latest reports are suggesting
the Hoff has kidnapped
402
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:10,640
a young girl and is now locked in a chasewith the police along the A2.
403
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,360
Are you surprised that he's got involved
in something like this?
404
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,880
I'm not involved in this!
I'm not involved!
405
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,000
Did you hear that?
That's my dad.
406
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,280
I'm not involved!I'm not involved!
407
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,080
I heard my dad in the background.
408
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,680
[Terry] You don't understand,
Hoff is old school, right?
409
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,200
He's a man of integrity,
410
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:27,520
a man of honour, he's like John Wayne
411
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,000
and Gandhi and, like,
412
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,440
Jason Statham or someone like that, yeah?
413
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,880
If your little listeners, yeah,
who called in to your show,
414
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,360
if they actually met the Hoff, yeah,
415
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,800
they would change their minds
fucking sharpish, mate.
416
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,080
I'm afraid we can't have
any swearing here, Terry.
417
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:45,840
Well, I'm sorry, but it's just
fucking out of order, all right?
418
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,920
Terry, I'm sorry,
we can't have swearing on air,
419
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,280
this is a daytime show.
420
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,000
Fuck, shit, sorry I didn't
mean to, fuck...
421
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,600
Well, that's all from Terry.
422
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:53,800
I must apologise on behalf of Terry.
423
00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,280
-That showed them.
-Yeah.
424
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:56,960
I get it. It's an emotive topic.
425
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,920
Yeah, we really showed them.
426
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,160
This is exciting.We have an exclusive for you now.
427
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,560
David Hasselhoff's actual son.
428
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,520
-Now, Dieter...
-Oh, my God.
429
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,160
...if your father could heara message from you tonight,
430
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,680
what would you say?
431
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,640
[Dieter] Daddy, I didn'tgo back to Germany.
432
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,720
I want to apologise for refusing
to talk to you earlier
433
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,080
and for walking out.
434
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,680
I think that you should let the girlgo free and not do anything stupid.
435
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,120
Then we can sit downand watch all of your movies together.
436
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,800
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Do you hear that?
437
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,360
They've got Dieter. They got...
438
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,840
They got my son involved, Terry!
439
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,920
We're getting another update. Apparently
the situation has now escalated,
440
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,960
and the Hoff is being pursued
like in the O.J. Simpson case.
441
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,680
If you find yourself on the road,
and the police advise you to
442
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:50,080
stop your car, do not attempt to
engage with David Hasselhoff.
443
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,200
[helicopter blades whirring]
444
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,360
[Jamilla] I really need a wee.
445
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,320
[Terry] Just go in your pants,
Jamilla, I have.
446
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,800
[tyres screeching]
447
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,080
[Terry] Change of plan, David.
448
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,760
We're not going to make it to the cliffs.
449
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:13,960
[David] What?
450
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,120
[woman over radio] Officers in position.Securing perimeter.
451
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,960
[David] OK, all right,
why are we stopping?
452
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,360
Terry,
453
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,840
come on, man, don't do anything stupid.
454
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,280
No, David, this is the most sensible
thing I've ever done, mate.
455
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,200
Come on.
456
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,640
Listen, David, you're going to have
to do me a favour, mate, yeah,
457
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:42,760
and just put this on.
458
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,480
Put this on, please.
459
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,680
-What is this?
-Put it on, please.
460
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:47,880
-Spandex?
-Yes.
461
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,160
I don't wear Spandex.
462
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,480
It's part of the plan, David.
463
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,680
Is it Strictly Come Dancing weird stuff?
I'm not wearing this!
464
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,160
-Just put it on, mate.
-I'm not wearing this.
465
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,800
No, it's not my colour,
I don't wear Spandex. I'll look like a...
466
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,000
You know what?
I haven't even got the receipt,
467
00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,320
so that's £10.50
I'm never going to get back.
468
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:00,960
I'll pay the £10.50.
469
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,160
All right, listen, listen, listen.
470
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,360
I'm not going to wear Spandex.
471
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,840
-Just put this on.
-Whoa.
472
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,960
All right.
473
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,360
Hurry up.
Hurry up, David. Come on.
474
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,480
-Easy, I'll put it on.
-We haven't got time, mate.
475
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:10,960
What the hell?
476
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,280
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
477
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,760
-No, no.
-Come on, man, come on.
478
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,480
Let's go out with a bang!
479
00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:26,600
[gun clicks]
480
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,920
-[bursts out laughing]
-That's not funny.
481
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,600
-"Let's go out with a bang."
-That's not funny.
482
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,120
That's not funny.
483
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:33,800
Help me with this, come on, I need a hand.
484
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,280
You scared the shit out of me,
what's wrong with you?
485
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,960
What is wrong with you?
486
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,280
What is "Farthers for Justice"?
487
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,440
It's fathers for justice, mate.
Listen, we're renegades.
488
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:45,800
Why are you doing this?
489
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,000
This is a protest, all right,
do you understand?
490
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,080
Look, all right.
This is publicity, all right.
491
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,720
It's the only way you make a change.
I learnt from you, all right?
492
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,720
I mean, look at us.
People are going to love this.
493
00:21:58,360 --> 00:21:59,640
Fathers for Justice!
494
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,600
[David] Maybe Terry can't spell.
495
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:04,960
That's sad.
496
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,960
Then I really thought about,
wow, what a life, you know,
497
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,760
you don't have your child,
and he can't spell, either.
498
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,560
It's actually a big weakness.
I'll say it's my Achille heels.
499
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,040
And I couldn't even spell that.
500
00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:17,720
[presenter] OK,
so we're back to Hoff Watch.
501
00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:19,760
The situation, as we understand it now,
502
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:23,200
is David Hasselhoffand an unnamed accomplice
503
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,280
have driven into a multi-storeycar park in New Malden.
504
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,440
They've still gotthe little girl with them,
505
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,400
and there are now reportsof a stand-off with police.
506
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,320
[Harriet] Just here, thank you.
Can I have my phone, please?
507
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,520
Have you got any money?
508
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,480
[siren wailing]
509
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,040
-Where do we go?
-This way!
510
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:41,280
[Max] I feel like I'm in The Wire.
511
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:45,400
[Harriet] We're coming!
512
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,160
[panting]
513
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,600
Dieter, slow down!
514
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,760
[presenter] Apparently, they've unveileda large "Fathers for Justice" banner.
515
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,040
Although I'm lookingat the television pictures,
516
00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,320
and their spellingleaves a lot to be desired.
517
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,920
These pictures are liveas they are happening.
518
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,240
David Hasselhoff
has officially broken Twitter.
519
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,120
It's a pantomime!
520
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:12,160
Family, children.
521
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:14,240
It's far too risky.
522
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,520
All right, come on, yeah.
523
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,480
Wrap your cameras around this,
come here, come here.
524
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,560
I've got a little announcement,
all right, yeah?
525
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,520
Me and David Hasselhoff
are staging a protest, yeah,
526
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,920
about the way that fathers
are treated in this country, all right?
527
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,320
David Hasselhoff is
an example of what can happen
528
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,840
if you don't get to see your kid.
529
00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:33,240
He hasn't seen his kid for 25 years,
and look at him now.
530
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,080
All right, we are fathers,
we are fed up and we want justice.
531
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,800
Stop using me as an example.
532
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:42,160
Dad!
533
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,440
He's having an asthma attack!
534
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:46,760
Dieter, here!
535
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,160
-He's got a gun!
-No, it's not a gun.
536
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,640
It's an asthma inhaler, he's asthmatic.
537
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:52,760
He hasn't had it all day.
538
00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,160
Lay down your weapon!
539
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:55,400
This is not a weapon!
540
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:56,520
[Taser fires]
541
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,840
What the hell have you done to my dad?
542
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,880
-[Taser fires]
-[Harriet screams] dieter!
543
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,320
[officer] Let go of the child.
544
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,600
-No, you're going to Taser me.
-We will not Taser you.
545
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:11,920
[Taser fires]
546
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,440
Can you do that again?
547
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,200
And the funny thing about the Taser
is I kind of liked it.
548
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,960
I get cramps in my left leg from jumping
in and out of that KITT car,
549
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,960
and on and off the Baywatch rescue towers,
550
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,680
and it kind of made my left leg
feel pretty good.
551
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,240
Wow.
552
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:34,680
Those Tasers pack a hell of a punch.
553
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,080
I've had worse.
554
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:40,920
This is amazing.
555
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,440
Every news channel wants an exclusive with
the hero of the day.
556
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,320
Look at them, they love you!
557
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,200
You're the number-one trend on Twitter.
558
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,880
[speaking German]
559
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,640
I knew he hadn't abducted that kid.
560
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,400
I was the first one saying,
"Of course he didn't."
561
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,200
So in the end, it all turned out great,
562
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,240
and then I did go down to
the police station and, um...
563
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:12,360
Well, they...
564
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,440
Gave me a Taser gun.
565
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,840
And I've got that Taser gun
in a drawer and, um,
566
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,280
once in a while,
567
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,000
rough night, I just kind of
give myself a little shot,
568
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,640
puts me right out.
569
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:28,640
Taser and an inhaler together.
570
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,280
Wow.
571
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,040
Looking back on it, fucking...
What the fuck? What was I thinking?
572
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:37,760
Pretty mental, innit?
573
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:40,840
I had a police chase with
David Hasselhoff in the back.
574
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:42,320
Yeah, I mean, I'm going to be out...
575
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,360
I'm going to be out of jail
in a couple of months, yeah?
576
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,200
Got my tag, you know what I mean?
I'm going to be on tag,
577
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,280
so I'm still going to
continue my cab service,
578
00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,920
and I've actually combined it
with an Uber service
579
00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:53,960
because Ally and Lee
won't have me back now,
580
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,120
so I'm going to go on Uber cabs
581
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,880
and use my tag
as a tracking device as well,
582
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:01,120
so then the customers
can see where I am, and the police.
583
00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:02,760
So they know I'm not going to
kidnap anyone.
584
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:04,800
[cheering]
585
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,040
Oh, God!
586
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:16,440
Well done!
587
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,880
[Dieter] Yeah! Yeah! Yes, go, Dad!
588
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:22,600
Oh, look, I've got...
589
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,640
Well done, it's so realistic!
590
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:25,840
Thank you.
591
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:28,520
Thanks.
592
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,120
-[Dieter] Whoo! Yeah!
-Whoo!
593
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,320
What a run, huh?
594
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:35,080
Whoo, yeah!
595
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,600
-Oh, what a closing night!
-[David] Thank you.
596
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,200
Oh...
597
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:42,160
Listen, I've just spoken to the promoters.
598
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:45,120
They've offered you
a contract for two more seasons.
599
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:46,240
What do you think?
600
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,080
They haven't done
this since the Chuckle Brothers.
601
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:49,440
You know what I think?
602
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,960
I looked out there and I saw these kids
jumping up and down,
603
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,800
you know, screaming and hollering
and clapping, and I thought,
604
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,520
"What about those kids who
can't even walk, man?"
605
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:04,160
What about those kids who are blind
and can't even see a show,
606
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,240
or deaf and can't hear
the show or can't clap
607
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,160
because they don't
have any hands, you know?
608
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:12,120
[sighs] I'm just tired of being
David Hasselhoff, you know?
609
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:14,920
I'm tired of being the Knight Rider.
610
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:17,760
I'm more than that,
I'm more than Baywatch, you know.
611
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,280
I'm more than that.
612
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,000
I can save the world, man.
613
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,880
And that's what I want to do.
614
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:24,880
I want to save the world.
615
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,400
I don't want to do this any more.
616
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,760
But I can, believe me,
I can save the world.
617
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,960
-That's what I want to do.
-OK, great.
618
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,520
Totally down with all that shit,
619
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,040
but you do need to know
how much they're offering.
620
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,120
Book it.
621
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,080
I can save the world later.
622
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:50,560
-Do it later.
-Yeah.
623
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:53,600
Yeah.
624
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:54,960
[laughs softly]
625
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,880
♪ I've been looking for freedom ♪
626
00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:32,560
I'm David Hasselhoff.
627
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,400
[screaming]
628
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:37,760
Turbo boost! Ah!
629
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:38,880
[grunts]
630
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,160
Hey, KITT, pick me up, buddy.
631
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,320
Are you wearing make-up?
632
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:43,720
Hey!
633
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:45,520
What? What?
634
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:46,880
It's good to be back.
635
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:48,720
[screams]
636
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:50,840
Some people call me the Hoff.
637
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:52,720
-[gun fires]
-Whoa!
638
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:53,960
I shat myself.
639
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,480
He's stolen that from Adolf Hitler.
640
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,920
Don't Hassel the Hoff.
641
00:28:59,970 --> 00:29:04,520
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