Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,301 --> 00:00:14,280
Fucking evil Kraut.
2
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:17,840
Always trying to trick me
by saying nice things to me.
3
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,281
Oh. Are you's the new postman?
4
00:00:22,282 --> 00:00:24,763
Delivering joy in every package.
5
00:00:24,847 --> 00:00:26,882
I've got a special delivery...
[boom]
6
00:00:27,016 --> 00:00:29,852
[screams]
7
00:00:29,935 --> 00:00:32,688
Oh, man! Oh, man!
Oh, man! Oh, man!
8
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:35,649
Serves you right, you little Scheisse.
9
00:00:39,445 --> 00:00:42,781
Are you serious, Vic?
You never work on Saturdays.
10
00:00:42,865 --> 00:00:46,160
I know, but this is an emergency,
Cutie Pie.
11
00:00:46,243 --> 00:00:49,872
There's a big problem
and the station needs me to fix it.
12
00:00:49,955 --> 00:00:53,584
But we're supposed to get naked
and make cupcakes.
13
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:55,794
And we will.
14
00:00:55,878 --> 00:00:58,505
Now, go put on your crotchless apron,
turn on Scooby Doo,
15
00:00:58,589 --> 00:01:01,467
and I'll be right back
to hop in your Mystery Machine.
16
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:03,802
[car engine starts]
17
00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:21,111
[girls chanting] We want Corey!
We want Corey! We want Corey!
18
00:01:21,195 --> 00:01:22,988
[girl] Where is he?
19
00:01:23,072 --> 00:01:24,990
[girl 2] Where is Corey?
It's been, like, two hours.
20
00:01:25,074 --> 00:01:26,450
[man] I ain't playing this shit!
21
00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:28,452
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!
22
00:01:28,535 --> 00:01:30,662
- [man] I don't give a shit!
- Oh, man.
23
00:01:30,746 --> 00:01:34,458
For the last time,
I ain't playing this record.
24
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:36,376
It's a piece of bubblegum shit.
25
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:39,546
Fuck you! I paid your station
a boatload of money to play his song.
26
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:43,258
- That's your fucking problem!
- Calm down. Calm down.
27
00:01:43,342 --> 00:01:46,011
Uncle Vic's here to throw a little "nice"
on the fire.
28
00:01:46,095 --> 00:01:49,390
Your DJ is disrespecting my artist.
29
00:01:49,473 --> 00:01:51,308
Duane Allman is an artist.
30
00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:53,977
This kid fell out of Donny Osmond's pussy.
31
00:01:54,061 --> 00:01:54,895
Did not!
32
00:01:54,978 --> 00:01:57,439
Now, hold on. Hold on.
33
00:01:57,523 --> 00:02:00,025
Nobody fell out of anybody's yow-yow.
34
00:02:00,109 --> 00:02:03,028
Hank, you and me are gonna have
a little rap session.
35
00:02:03,112 --> 00:02:06,740
Look, brother,
you and I both know this record sucks,
36
00:02:06,824 --> 00:02:09,701
but things are tight,
and I need you to play ball.
37
00:02:09,785 --> 00:02:13,080
I won't do it, Vic!
I got a reputation to uphold!
38
00:02:13,163 --> 00:02:15,958
Oh, fuck your reputation!
Play the fucking record!
39
00:02:16,041 --> 00:02:18,877
How about I fuck your mother,
you fucking hippie? How about that?
40
00:02:18,961 --> 00:02:20,421
You like that, you fucking cunt?
41
00:02:21,797 --> 00:02:23,507
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
42
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:25,384
Who stuck your pubes in a zipper?
43
00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,554
I'm so sorry.
44
00:02:28,637 --> 00:02:30,722
I don't do stress well. [chuckles]
45
00:02:31,557 --> 00:02:34,768
Our ratings are slipping,
the suits are coming down on me...
46
00:02:34,852 --> 00:02:37,062
I ain't playing this shit.
47
00:02:37,146 --> 00:02:40,983
Hank, my man, you care
about the purity of music, as do I,
48
00:02:41,066 --> 00:02:43,110
but sometimes you got to play the game.
49
00:02:43,193 --> 00:02:46,822
The only way to make it
less painful for us
50
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,700
is a little tooter
of Bolivian Agreement Powder.
51
00:02:54,246 --> 00:02:55,998
I love you, Vic.
52
00:02:58,292 --> 00:03:00,169
I love this record.
53
00:03:02,254 --> 00:03:06,049
Seeing a momma gorilla
carry her baby gorilla makes me cry!
54
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:07,759
Let's do it!
55
00:03:07,843 --> 00:03:10,179
[girls chanting] We want Corey!
56
00:03:10,262 --> 00:03:13,140
Ooh, I can feel my heartbeat
through my forehead
57
00:03:13,223 --> 00:03:16,977
and I've got the righteous teen sensation
you've been waiting to see.
58
00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:21,523
Corey Mars with
"It's A Puppy Dog, Cotton Candy Day"!
59
00:03:21,607 --> 00:03:23,400
I hate myself!
60
00:03:23,483 --> 00:03:26,820
- [girls cheering]
- All I wanna do is play
61
00:03:26,904 --> 00:03:30,115
? It's a puppy dog cotton candy day ?
62
00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:32,868
? All I wanna do is play ?
63
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,203
? It's a puppy dog cotton candy day ?
64
00:03:34,286 --> 00:03:36,413
This song sounds like cats fucking.
65
00:03:36,497 --> 00:03:40,667
Can you believe that shit?
He bribed him with drugs.
66
00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:44,004
They're compromising
the integrity of the music business!
67
00:03:44,087 --> 00:03:46,882
There's no beauty in this world.
68
00:03:49,051 --> 00:03:52,971
Pardon me. I'd like to get
to the Kay Kyser records.
69
00:03:53,055 --> 00:03:55,265
Oh! You had your time,
just die already!
70
00:03:55,349 --> 00:03:58,852
[Redbone's
"Come and Get Your Love" playing]
71
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:08,695
? Come and get your love ?
72
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:14,034
? Come and get your love ?
73
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,454
? Come and get your love ?
74
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,917
? Come and get your love ?
75
00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:25,295
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
76
00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:26,880
? Come and get your love now ?
77
00:04:28,257 --> 00:04:30,008
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
78
00:04:30,092 --> 00:04:31,301
? Come and get your love now ?
79
00:04:31,385 --> 00:04:32,427
[grunts] Ah!
80
00:04:32,511 --> 00:04:34,137
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
81
00:04:34,221 --> 00:04:36,014
? Come and get your love now ?
82
00:04:37,224 --> 00:04:38,767
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
83
00:04:38,850 --> 00:04:40,310
? Come and get your love now ?
84
00:04:40,894 --> 00:04:43,525
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
85
00:04:43,647 --> 00:04:45,482
Our top story this Wednesday.
86
00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,985
Police are searching
for a Rustland City woman
87
00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:50,404
who's been missing since last week.
88
00:04:52,239 --> 00:04:55,492
Her disappearance was reported
by her distraught pimp,
89
00:04:55,576 --> 00:04:58,036
who goes by the name
"International Touch."
90
00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,121
What's a pimp?
91
00:04:59,705 --> 00:05:02,332
You watch Colt Luger.
It's a black guy.
92
00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:04,543
No, it's not that.
93
00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:07,796
Well, it is that, but it's complicated.
94
00:05:07,879 --> 00:05:10,424
Did you take
this macaroni from the counter?
95
00:05:10,507 --> 00:05:13,385
- Yeah?
- Ah! I needed it for supper!
96
00:05:13,468 --> 00:05:15,929
I'm sorry. I love you, Daddy.
97
00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:18,599
- Nah, you don't. Nobody does.
- [phone rings]
98
00:05:19,224 --> 00:05:21,560
Shit. I'll never get this done.
99
00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,186
We don't want any!
100
00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:24,605
- Hey, Frank.
- Oh, hey, Rosie.
101
00:05:24,688 --> 00:05:29,109
You ready for your first night
in the vending machine business?
102
00:05:29,192 --> 00:05:32,029
- Oh, thank you for this job, Rosie.
- Now, don't thank me yet.
103
00:05:32,112 --> 00:05:35,157
This is just a one night tryout
to see if Smokey likes you.
104
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,034
I know.
But you still got me in the door.
105
00:05:37,117 --> 00:05:39,703
God, I have been going crazy
sitting around like a bum.
106
00:05:39,786 --> 00:05:42,831
I would've killed myself,
but I don't want to haunt my own house.
107
00:05:42,914 --> 00:05:45,375
Well, you're better off there
than down here.
108
00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:50,547
All hands on deck!
This is not a drill! We are being invaded!
109
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:56,261
Scoop, these are all friendly planes.
They're supposed to land here.
110
00:05:56,887 --> 00:06:02,642
Again, this is an airport.
Now, give me the flare gun.
111
00:06:02,726 --> 00:06:04,895
I better let you go, Frank.
Good luck tonight.
112
00:06:04,978 --> 00:06:07,647
Smokey said he's coming over
to pick you up at 6:00.
113
00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:10,484
What? I thought I was
gonna meet him at the warehouse.
114
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:12,861
He's coming here? To my street?
115
00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:15,113
- You got a problem with that?
- No, no, it's just...
116
00:06:15,197 --> 00:06:16,948
I know what it's "just."
117
00:06:17,032 --> 00:06:18,742
I vouched for you, Frank.
118
00:06:20,202 --> 00:06:21,411
Damn it!
119
00:06:21,495 --> 00:06:23,622
Just don't make me look bad.
120
00:06:23,705 --> 00:06:25,540
[water running]
121
00:06:25,624 --> 00:06:27,250
Oh, great!
122
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,004
Come and get your slop!
123
00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:34,883
[groans] Not Hamburger Assistant again.
124
00:06:34,966 --> 00:06:37,052
Why can't Mom make dinner?
125
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,388
Ask her. She's the one
who abandoned her post.
126
00:06:39,471 --> 00:06:42,808
Now, after doing all the lady work,
I got to leave to go do some man work.
127
00:06:42,891 --> 00:06:46,520
And is anybody gonna get me flowers
and tell me I'm beautiful? No!
128
00:06:46,603 --> 00:06:48,980
No one's out there
marching for old Frank Murphy!
129
00:06:49,064 --> 00:06:52,401
He just watches the sands
of his miserable life gather at his feet,
130
00:06:52,484 --> 00:06:55,195
while his wife, the "modern woman"
131
00:06:55,278 --> 00:06:57,781
throws on a pantsuit every morning
and just...
132
00:06:59,324 --> 00:07:01,743
There's my worker bee!
133
00:07:04,246 --> 00:07:09,042
So, the pressure's on my bosses to invent
a new product to save the company.
134
00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:12,087
Oh, boy, those clowns
are quick with the insults,
135
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:15,590
but when it comes time for ideas
their brains take a three-hour nap.
136
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:26,601
Slow down, Frank.
137
00:07:26,685 --> 00:07:28,311
This isn't prison.
138
00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:29,312
It kind of is.
139
00:07:30,063 --> 00:07:32,357
Look, I'm sorry I got to leave so early.
140
00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:34,860
It's okay.
I'm just so happy you're working.
141
00:07:34,943 --> 00:07:38,530
Well, it's not ideal, but it's
the best job I could get right now.
142
00:07:38,613 --> 00:07:42,617
Right. Of all the many, many jobs
you applied for at the employment office?
143
00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:44,161
Watch it.
144
00:07:44,244 --> 00:07:46,371
Oh, I watched it.
145
00:07:46,455 --> 00:07:47,998
I watched it all.
146
00:07:49,249 --> 00:07:50,959
Lies.
147
00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:52,753
Kevin, what are you talking about?
148
00:07:52,836 --> 00:07:54,588
No, no, no, no. Let him go. Let him go.
149
00:07:54,671 --> 00:07:56,923
It's just some wizard slang
nobody understands.
150
00:08:01,136 --> 00:08:04,097
Frank, honey, when you wash the lettuce,
151
00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:07,392
you need to dry it too, with paper towels.
152
00:08:07,476 --> 00:08:10,395
Oh, I get it.
Say what you really mean, Sue!
153
00:08:10,479 --> 00:08:12,063
You're embarrassed of my new job.
154
00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:14,316
Why don't you just get
a bumper sticker for your car,
155
00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:17,402
"Ask me about
my loser husband's shit job"?
156
00:08:17,486 --> 00:08:20,614
I don't feel like that!
But is that how you feel?
157
00:08:20,697 --> 00:08:24,326
Don't you put my own words in my mouth!
You think it's beneath me!
158
00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:25,994
Honey, I'm proud of you!
159
00:08:26,077 --> 00:08:27,662
We need the money, no matter...
160
00:08:27,746 --> 00:08:29,790
No matter how little I make! I knew it!
161
00:08:29,873 --> 00:08:33,627
Yeah, I'll be stocking vending machines
at night for $1.60 an hour
162
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,712
if I'm lucky enough to even get the job!
163
00:08:35,796 --> 00:08:39,549
But I'm still a man, and I want
to provide for my family by working,
164
00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:43,762
not laying around some commie hippie pad,
feeling all groovy,
165
00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:45,639
eating government cheese.
166
00:08:45,722 --> 00:08:47,933
I've got my pride! And I'm gonna...
167
00:08:48,016 --> 00:08:50,894
- [horn honks]
- [exhaust backfires]
168
00:08:50,977 --> 00:08:52,646
Which house is Frank Murphy at?
169
00:08:52,729 --> 00:08:54,231
I'm picking him up for work!
170
00:08:55,065 --> 00:08:56,233
Oh, shit.
171
00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:58,860
That looks like that ice cream truck
that made the news
172
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:00,779
and doesn't come around anymore.
173
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,949
Hey, you're black.
174
00:09:04,032 --> 00:09:06,743
I work with a guy who knows
Hank Aaron's niece.
175
00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:09,204
Okay, show's over. Nothing to see here.
176
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,998
Did somebody get shot?
I saw a black guy in a truck!
177
00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:16,545
Nobody got shot, Babe!
Go back inside, you fucking busybodies!
178
00:09:17,796 --> 00:09:20,131
Hi, Smokey, I'm Frank.
179
00:09:20,215 --> 00:09:22,217
Look like your name's Larry.
180
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,512
Now grab a crate and try not to fall out.
181
00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,639
Whoa!
182
00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,641
What did I just say? Pay attention!
183
00:09:30,642 --> 00:09:33,687
Have fun, Frank.
And nice to meet you, brother!
184
00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:42,112
That one creepy-ass motherfucker.
185
00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:46,658
? And the lie was
That his face was young ?
186
00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:51,496
? But it couldn't hide
His weathered soul ?
187
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,832
- Weather
- Weather
188
00:09:55,667 --> 00:10:02,591
Gentlemen, we have produced
an instant masterpiece.
189
00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:05,802
It's too good.
Like, how can we ever top it?
190
00:10:05,886 --> 00:10:11,182
Oh, I think I hear the sound
of a thousand panties dropping at once.
191
00:10:11,266 --> 00:10:12,726
We're never gonna get chicks.
192
00:10:12,809 --> 00:10:14,561
What about Haircut Girl?
193
00:10:14,644 --> 00:10:17,689
She doesn't exist!
It's a lie, just like everything else!
194
00:10:17,772 --> 00:10:21,067
Let's face it,
we'll never get our music heard.
195
00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:23,236
You saw that bullshit at the mall.
196
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,364
The only way to make it
is to bribe DJs with cocaine.
197
00:10:26,448 --> 00:10:29,034
Well, if a little blow is all it takes,
198
00:10:29,117 --> 00:10:31,244
then let's get some
and give it to that DJ.
199
00:10:31,328 --> 00:10:33,622
- We can't do that.
- Sure we can!
200
00:10:33,705 --> 00:10:37,208
I know where to get drugs,
and we can borrow my mom's car.
201
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:41,129
The other day, I told her I was 16,
and she totally bought it.
202
00:10:41,212 --> 00:10:43,590
Oh, come on, what's the point?
It'll never work.
203
00:10:43,673 --> 00:10:45,467
It's all a fucking pipe dream.
204
00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:49,471
Whoa! Man, you sound like your dad.
205
00:10:49,554 --> 00:10:52,182
Don't you ever say that.
I am not my father!
206
00:10:52,265 --> 00:10:54,100
Take it easy, man.
207
00:10:54,184 --> 00:10:57,062
Oh, you need to hit the baby.
208
00:10:57,145 --> 00:10:59,272
- [doll] Dada?
- This calls for something special.
209
00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:00,815
Oregon Gold...
210
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:05,195
- dipped in Columbia River salmon piss.
- [doll] Dada?
211
00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:07,447
- Let's write another song.
- Oh, yeah.
212
00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:10,367
It's probably a good idea
for us to be prolific.
213
00:11:15,872 --> 00:11:18,708
[Bolo] Whoa!
He's sucking the shit out of that baby.
214
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:23,088
[coughing]
215
00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:26,633
Dada? Dada?
216
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,803
[distored voice] Dada?
217
00:11:29,886 --> 00:11:32,013
Dada?
218
00:11:33,139 --> 00:11:35,350
Dada?
219
00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:48,029
[screams]
220
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,282
What the fuck is wrong with you?
221
00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:54,285
Maybe if you didn't cut class,
you'd know how to rearrange a face!
222
00:11:54,369 --> 00:11:57,163
Ah! I hate you!
223
00:11:57,247 --> 00:12:00,041
I will not turn into my father.
224
00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:03,044
Let's get that coke and change the world!
225
00:12:03,128 --> 00:12:04,879
Oh, good. You're still alive.
226
00:12:04,963 --> 00:12:08,425
We were about to toss you out
in front of the hospital.
227
00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:10,218
Let's get those drugs!
228
00:12:18,101 --> 00:12:20,186
[radio DJ] That was
Little Blind Peg Leg Ernie
229
00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:22,564
with "I Don't Need Your Damn Help."
230
00:12:22,647 --> 00:12:26,401
What's the matter, you never seen
the inside of a truck before?
231
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,778
- No, it's just, that...
- I know what you thinking.
232
00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:30,655
You're too good for this job.
233
00:12:30,739 --> 00:12:33,324
That's why I didn't want to hire you
in the first place.
234
00:12:33,408 --> 00:12:35,493
You used to being a big shot.
235
00:12:35,577 --> 00:12:37,704
Now you're riding in this hoopty,
236
00:12:37,787 --> 00:12:43,418
next to a motherfucker
that smell like cigars, got diabetes,
237
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,171
and got a wife that fucks another man
while he's home
238
00:12:46,254 --> 00:12:49,132
because she know good and damn well
he too tired to come up them stairs.
239
00:12:49,215 --> 00:12:50,508
Oh, I wasn't thinking that.
240
00:12:50,592 --> 00:12:52,719
Yeah, but now you are. You see?
241
00:12:52,802 --> 00:12:55,054
All you people are the same.
242
00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:59,559
Now, here's the deal, Frank Murphy.
243
00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:02,061
You got one night to prove to me
that you can do the job.
244
00:13:02,145 --> 00:13:05,982
Don't worry, Smokey.
I can do this. I used to run an airport.
245
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:09,027
Alrighty then, Mr. Lindenbergh,
246
00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:12,572
but remember, you do the job right,
you're hired.
247
00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:17,786
You don't, you and that weird-ass neighbor
can stay home and fuck each other!
248
00:13:18,495 --> 00:13:21,956
Now pay attention! Your job depends on it.
249
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,334
The first thing you do is
open up the machine,
250
00:13:24,417 --> 00:13:27,629
put in the crackers,
then the cookies, then the fruit pies.
251
00:13:27,712 --> 00:13:29,923
Not the fruit cakes, the fruit pies.
252
00:13:30,006 --> 00:13:32,842
Take out the cash box,
empty it into your coin sack,
253
00:13:32,926 --> 00:13:37,138
shove your coin sack into the front
of your pants. Sack to sack. Say it.
254
00:13:37,222 --> 00:13:39,057
Sack to sack. Coin to loin.
255
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:42,143
Don't improvise.
This ain't jazz, motherfucker!
256
00:13:42,227 --> 00:13:43,728
Check the change for slugs.
257
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:46,731
People try to put all kind of shit
in these machines.
258
00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:49,400
One time I took out
a big old toenail on a string.
259
00:13:49,484 --> 00:13:52,612
Slick motherfucker got me
for five Clark bars and a Nutter Butter.
260
00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:54,364
Now, Hershey bars are different.
261
00:13:54,447 --> 00:13:56,991
They're the queen bitch
of the whole operation.
262
00:13:57,075 --> 00:13:58,535
They're delicate.
263
00:13:58,618 --> 00:14:01,496
You got to be careful
when you're loading them. Pay attention.
264
00:14:02,038 --> 00:14:05,333
You slide the bars in.
265
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:06,334
Like this?
266
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,419
Don't shove them in like an animal!
267
00:14:08,503 --> 00:14:11,381
Slide 'em in.
268
00:14:11,464 --> 00:14:13,967
Like you're making love to your woman.
269
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,886
You got to slide 'em in.
270
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:19,889
Got to slide 'em in.
271
00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:22,642
- You got that?
- Got it.
272
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,271
Goddamn it, Frank Murphy.
273
00:14:26,729 --> 00:14:30,775
Maybe you can leave doors open
in your neighborhood, but not around here.
274
00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:32,026
Sorry. Sorry.
275
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:34,529
That's your first strike.
One more and you're out.
276
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:35,780
Don't you get three strikes?
277
00:14:35,864 --> 00:14:40,326
Not in American Legion co-ed softball,
only league I recognize!
278
00:14:41,494 --> 00:14:45,373
Now watch and learn.
Shove it, slam it, twist the lock.
279
00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:48,001
Stick the key inside your sock.
280
00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:50,170
Why can't the key just be on the key ring?
281
00:14:50,253 --> 00:14:54,674
Because, the rhyme came first,
system came later.
282
00:15:00,805 --> 00:15:03,099
All right, I landed on Colt.
283
00:15:03,183 --> 00:15:04,726
[Colt Luger on recording]
Got you, dirtbag.
284
00:15:04,809 --> 00:15:08,938
Go to the San Cortez Regional
Correctional Institute for kids!
285
00:15:09,022 --> 00:15:10,523
- Oh, man.
- My turn.
286
00:15:13,776 --> 00:15:15,653
You just smacked a broad.
287
00:15:15,737 --> 00:15:17,322
Roll again.
288
00:15:17,405 --> 00:15:19,407
Ahh. This is just what I've needed.
289
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:22,076
A nice, quiet night with my kids.
290
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,578
My turn.
291
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:24,787
[machine rumbling]
292
00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:27,123
Oh, washing machine.
293
00:15:27,207 --> 00:15:29,250
Your father said he was gonna fix it.
294
00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:32,337
He also said he was gonna
take me to the eye doctor.
295
00:15:33,129 --> 00:15:34,172
[gasps]
296
00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:36,925
- Is it happening again?
- No. No.
297
00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:42,513
[sighs]
298
00:15:42,597 --> 00:15:44,974
Well, shine my shoes!
299
00:15:47,769 --> 00:15:50,021
At least the spin cycle works now.
[chuckles]
300
00:15:50,104 --> 00:15:52,565
We should've put
your father's soggy lettuce in there.
301
00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:54,953
[chuckles] Good one, Mom!
302
00:15:55,944 --> 00:15:57,362
[Bill] Mom?
303
00:15:58,029 --> 00:15:59,113
[Tracy] Plast-A-Ware's in trouble!
304
00:15:59,197 --> 00:16:01,241
[Gene] Everyone think up
an exciting, new product!
305
00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:03,117
[Dana] Everybody except Sue!
306
00:16:03,201 --> 00:16:04,994
[laughter]
307
00:16:05,078 --> 00:16:07,038
[Tracy] I'd like to be in her fantasy!
308
00:16:26,783 --> 00:16:28,101
[man] It spin dries lettuce.
309
00:16:28,184 --> 00:16:29,686
- [woman] Unbelievable!
- [man] What an invention!
310
00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:32,939
- [man 2] That's incredible!
- [man 3] I've never seen anything so great!
311
00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:33,940
[woman] She's a genius!
312
00:16:34,023 --> 00:16:37,068
[man 4] Oh, my God,
what an incredible invention!
313
00:16:38,111 --> 00:16:39,153
[applause]
314
00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:44,502
Eat that, you fuckers.
315
00:16:44,534 --> 00:16:47,120
Mommy, your smile is scaring me.
316
00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:54,502
[radio DJ] Ooh, that was American Flag
with "Winnipeg Rock,"
317
00:16:54,585 --> 00:17:00,717
and you are listening to Howlin' Hank's
all night throbbing e-rock-tion.
318
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,803
- Are you sure we can score coke here?
- Totally.
319
00:17:03,886 --> 00:17:06,014
This neighborhood's always on the news:
320
00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:07,698
"Drug Dealer Murdered",
321
00:17:07,699 --> 00:17:10,101
"Toddler Washed Away By Open Hydrant",
322
00:17:10,184 --> 00:17:14,147
"Three Teens in Mother's Car
Killed in Drug Buy Gone Wrong."
323
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,858
Wow, that could be us.
324
00:17:18,151 --> 00:17:19,193
That could be us!
325
00:17:19,277 --> 00:17:22,030
One way or another,
we're getting famous tonight!
326
00:17:22,113 --> 00:17:24,615
Immortality forever!
327
00:17:26,075 --> 00:17:29,829
Okay, Frank Murphy.
So far, so shitty.
328
00:17:29,912 --> 00:17:33,791
But at least you're doing better than the
last two guys I tried out on this route.
329
00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:36,836
You ain't quit after a half an hour,
and I ain't shot you.
330
00:17:36,919 --> 00:17:39,464
I'm not gonna quit. I need this too much.
331
00:17:40,048 --> 00:17:42,800
I already lied to my wife
about how I got this job,
332
00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:45,011
I don't know what lie I'd tell her
if I lost it.
333
00:17:45,094 --> 00:17:47,555
Youse a desperate motherfucker.
334
00:17:47,638 --> 00:17:49,015
I like that!
335
00:17:49,098 --> 00:17:50,725
- Catch!
- What's this?
336
00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:53,436
The second-best thing about this job.
337
00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:55,938
You get to keep the damaged ones
and the stales.
338
00:17:59,692 --> 00:18:03,529
Ugh! This soda is as flat as your ass,
but it's free.
339
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,074
There was a mouse in mine.
340
00:18:08,785 --> 00:18:11,037
Get ready to be a hero, Frank Murphy.
341
00:18:12,121 --> 00:18:15,249
What's happening, everybody?
It's the rubber man!
342
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,335
- [woman] All right!
- [man] Rubber man is here!
343
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,087
[cheering]
344
00:18:19,170 --> 00:18:22,965
- [man] Fill it up so I can fill it up!
- [man 2] This one's ribbed for my pleasure.
345
00:18:23,049 --> 00:18:24,799
[woman] Where the fuck
were you last week?
346
00:18:25,426 --> 00:18:26,511
How about that guy?
347
00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,262
- He looks like a drug dealer.
- No.
348
00:18:28,346 --> 00:18:30,306
He's not wearing a vest with no shirt.
349
00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:34,102
- How about that guy?
- No. He only has one gold tooth.
350
00:18:34,185 --> 00:18:36,396
You're too chicken to do this, man.
351
00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:39,732
Pull over here.
I'll show you how it's done.
352
00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:46,280
First of all,
I am sorry for the loss of Dr. King.
353
00:18:46,364 --> 00:18:48,533
You idiot!
You don't talk to them like that.
354
00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:49,867
It's cool. It's cool.
355
00:18:50,493 --> 00:18:52,286
You boys looking for something?
356
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,580
Something to make you feel good?
357
00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:56,499
- Shit yes.
- Now we're talking.
358
00:18:56,582 --> 00:18:59,377
- You looking for that white stuff?
- Yes, sir.
359
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,754
- Ten dollars.
- Deal!
360
00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:04,799
[whistles] Bring it over!
361
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,552
All right, Murph!
What a bargain!
362
00:19:07,635 --> 00:19:09,345
Hey, boys.
363
00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:12,682
If you got a sandwich bag,
I'll fuck all y'all.
364
00:19:12,765 --> 00:19:14,517
[all scream]
365
00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:17,895
Fucking queers!
366
00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:20,231
Don't you mess with
"International Touch"!
367
00:19:20,314 --> 00:19:25,236
Oh, damn. I can't keep this
titty in to save my life.
368
00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:27,179
Bitch, get out of the street!
369
00:19:30,116 --> 00:19:31,784
[Colt Luger on recording]
You just killed a civilian.
370
00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:33,619
Plant a gun on him and go eat a steak.
371
00:19:33,703 --> 00:19:34,620
It's your turn, Mom.
372
00:19:36,664 --> 00:19:40,084
- [Maureen] Mom?
- Kids, Mom's gonna do a little drawing.
373
00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:41,836
Just... watch TV.
374
00:19:42,545 --> 00:19:44,839
Uh, even though it's almost bed time?
375
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:47,008
Don't tell her that, you narc!
376
00:19:47,091 --> 00:19:50,136
- You can stay up a little later.
- Yay!
377
00:19:50,219 --> 00:19:52,555
My visit to the Sag Harbor Nudist Colony
378
00:19:52,638 --> 00:19:57,226
revealed that this philosophy
is shared by people of all ages.
379
00:19:57,310 --> 00:20:01,105
[man] Well, this tattoo used
to be my wife's face.
380
00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:02,690
[both scream]
381
00:20:03,441 --> 00:20:06,694
- All set.
- Good job, Frank Murphy.
382
00:20:06,777 --> 00:20:08,154
Thanks, Smokey.
383
00:20:08,237 --> 00:20:11,991
You know, Frank Murphy, you all right.
You're gonna like this job.
384
00:20:12,074 --> 00:20:15,870
Captain of your own ship.
Ain't nobody telling you what to do.
385
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:19,207
Not even stop signs.
Fuck you, sign!
386
00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:22,043
Yep, just the romance of the road.
387
00:20:22,126 --> 00:20:23,377
Does that mean I got the job?
388
00:20:23,461 --> 00:20:28,466
Well, I was gonna make you beg for it
just a little bit, but let's just say...
389
00:20:31,135 --> 00:20:32,845
Oh, shit! The money sacks!
390
00:20:34,639 --> 00:20:38,267
Told you to latch the fucking door!
That's a whole night's take!
391
00:20:38,351 --> 00:20:40,228
Strike two! You failed!
392
00:20:40,311 --> 00:20:41,395
No, I can't!
393
00:20:42,438 --> 00:20:43,773
Get back in the damn truck!
394
00:20:43,856 --> 00:20:46,025
No! I'm gonna make this right!
395
00:20:46,108 --> 00:20:48,486
Then fuck the pennies, grab them quarters!
396
00:20:50,112 --> 00:20:51,113
[screams]
397
00:20:52,114 --> 00:20:55,910
[radio DJ] Ooh, I swear I'm addicted
to this next song!
398
00:20:55,993 --> 00:21:00,164
- [sniffs] Here's Corey Mars with...
- Turn that fucker off!
399
00:21:00,248 --> 00:21:01,707
What a disaster.
400
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:05,378
Our money's gone, our careers are over
before they even started.
401
00:21:05,461 --> 00:21:07,713
Well, I guess we won't ever be rockers.
402
00:21:07,797 --> 00:21:10,716
We'll have to get boring jobs,
like being a dentist.
403
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,301
Or the guy who knocks cows out.
404
00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:15,721
Things could be worse.
We could be that guy.
405
00:21:18,849 --> 00:21:20,017
Dad?
406
00:21:21,477 --> 00:21:23,229
Yeah! I got a nickel!
407
00:21:23,312 --> 00:21:25,940
No fucking way is that gonna be me!
408
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:29,326
Bolo, we're going to that radio station.
409
00:21:29,652 --> 00:21:33,072
- Turn this car around!
- Aye-aye, captain!
410
00:21:33,781 --> 00:21:35,116
- [all shout]
- [honks horn]
411
00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:40,454
[Kevin] I meant wait
until it was safe to do so!
412
00:21:40,538 --> 00:21:43,040
[Bolo] That ain't rock 'n' roll!
413
00:21:45,793 --> 00:21:47,670
Just one more to go!
414
00:21:48,296 --> 00:21:51,507
- You're gonna get yourself killed!
- I'm not losing this job!
415
00:21:54,635 --> 00:21:57,430
I did it, Smokey! I got 'em all!
416
00:21:57,513 --> 00:21:59,390
- [growling]
- [screams]
417
00:22:01,183 --> 00:22:02,268
Fuck!
418
00:22:03,227 --> 00:22:05,479
Fuck! Go, go, go!
419
00:22:05,563 --> 00:22:07,988
Shove! Slam!
Twist the lock!
420
00:22:09,442 --> 00:22:11,027
Fuck you, you... [screams]
421
00:22:12,903 --> 00:22:16,365
I won't come back until that fucking DJ
has listened to our song.
422
00:22:16,449 --> 00:22:18,576
Into the flames, rock god!
423
00:22:20,661 --> 00:22:21,954
Hey! Where you going, kid?
424
00:22:22,038 --> 00:22:24,957
- To claim my destiny!
- Oh, okay.
425
00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:27,626
Why are our ratings so low?
426
00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,670
People aren't listening to the station.
427
00:22:29,754 --> 00:22:31,630
Well, there's got to be another reason!
428
00:22:31,714 --> 00:22:35,468
Here's the new one from Tin Chicken.
429
00:22:35,551 --> 00:22:37,345
I need you to play this tape!
430
00:22:37,428 --> 00:22:41,432
Whoa, kid,
demo tapes go in the lobby trash can.
431
00:22:41,515 --> 00:22:45,019
No way! We spent almost
three hours working on this!
432
00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:46,729
Hold on there, star child.
433
00:22:46,812 --> 00:22:48,439
Kevin, you don't belong here.
434
00:22:48,522 --> 00:22:51,609
No. You don't belong here,
and you don't belong here,
435
00:22:51,692 --> 00:22:52,777
you fucking sellouts!
436
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:55,738
You said you care
about the purity of music?
437
00:22:55,821 --> 00:22:59,762
Well, if that's true and you
have one shred of self-respect
438
00:22:59,763 --> 00:23:03,704
left in your souls, you will
listen to the future of rock!
439
00:23:03,788 --> 00:23:06,332
Wait. Hang on, play this side.
440
00:23:06,415 --> 00:23:08,891
The other side's my oral report
on Johnny Tremain.
441
00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:12,088
Kevin, when you've been in this business
as long as I have,
442
00:23:12,171 --> 00:23:14,548
it's easy to lose sight
of what's important.
443
00:23:14,632 --> 00:23:19,261
Thank you for reminding me that it's
what's in your soul that really counts.
444
00:23:19,345 --> 00:23:21,514
Well, buddy,
you got your balls in the door.
445
00:23:21,597 --> 00:23:23,307
Let's see if those balls can sing.
446
00:23:26,644 --> 00:23:29,230
This is Kevin Murphy with Merlin's Monocle
447
00:23:29,313 --> 00:23:33,734
and this is our first single,
"Weathered Souls."
448
00:23:33,818 --> 00:23:37,113
? On a desert road ?
449
00:23:37,196 --> 00:23:40,116
? Sand storms and dunes ?
450
00:23:40,199 --> 00:23:42,201
? Sat a weathered soul ?
451
00:23:42,284 --> 00:23:44,537
? Who needed his own room ?
452
00:23:44,620 --> 00:23:46,914
? Weather ?
453
00:23:48,749 --> 00:23:51,502
[radio DJ] Classes resumed
after the snakes were shot.
454
00:23:51,585 --> 00:23:53,587
What are we listening for?
It's just the news.
455
00:23:53,671 --> 00:23:58,008
Vic said to listen exactly at 12:06.
He promised.
456
00:23:58,092 --> 00:23:59,927
It's 12:06 o'KWOCK.
457
00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:04,849
That means it's time for the...
Weather
458
00:24:04,932 --> 00:24:08,071
Overnight lows in the mid-20's tonight.
459
00:24:08,477 --> 00:24:13,023
Did they just play two seconds of our song
as their weather jingle?
460
00:24:13,107 --> 00:24:15,901
I think they did.
461
00:24:16,569 --> 00:24:19,113
Are you fucking kidding me?
462
00:24:21,532 --> 00:24:24,493
We are fucking gods!
463
00:24:24,577 --> 00:24:26,370
- Yes! We're rich!
- Yes!
464
00:24:26,454 --> 00:24:29,748
- Eat me, Dad!
- [Bolo] Yeah! Fuck your dad!
465
00:24:31,709 --> 00:24:35,296
Frank Murphy, there's a term
us Snack Jacks use.
466
00:24:35,379 --> 00:24:36,922
It's called "it."
467
00:24:37,006 --> 00:24:38,924
And you got "it."
468
00:24:39,008 --> 00:24:42,678
And I'm gonna put "it"
in this truck five nights a week.
469
00:24:45,055 --> 00:24:47,766
Take her home.
You start tomorrow.
470
00:24:47,850 --> 00:24:50,269
Thanks, Smokey.
I won't let you down.
471
00:24:52,521 --> 00:24:54,440
That's the last time we touch, okay?
472
00:24:54,523 --> 00:24:56,358
[engine turns over]
473
00:24:56,442 --> 00:24:57,902
? Loving for me ?
474
00:24:57,985 --> 00:25:00,070
? Just like a natural man ?
475
00:25:00,154 --> 00:25:02,156
? Like a natural man ?
476
00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:04,200
? Like a natural man ?
477
00:25:04,283 --> 00:25:05,784
? Just like a natural man ?
478
00:25:05,868 --> 00:25:08,454
- [Frank] Oh!
- Just like a natural man
479
00:25:08,537 --> 00:25:10,664
? Just like a natural man ?
480
00:25:10,748 --> 00:25:15,044
- My feet are on the ground
- Just like a natural man
481
00:25:15,127 --> 00:25:20,132
- My soul is searching for the sky
- Just like a natural man
482
00:25:20,216 --> 00:25:22,760
- Like a natural man
- Just like a natural man
483
00:25:22,843 --> 00:25:27,389
- Just like a natural man
- Just like a natural man
484
00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:29,642
? My feet are on the ground... ?
485
00:25:29,725 --> 00:25:31,477
[Sue] Oh, Frank!
486
00:25:33,312 --> 00:25:34,980
Oh, Frank!
487
00:25:36,857 --> 00:25:39,902
- Like a natural man
- Just like a natural man
488
00:25:39,985 --> 00:25:44,198
- Just like a natural man
- Just like a natural man
489
00:25:44,281 --> 00:25:48,410
- My feet are on the ground
- Just like a natural man
490
00:25:48,494 --> 00:25:53,374
- My soul is searching for the sky
- Just like a natural man
491
00:25:53,457 --> 00:25:57,378
- Like a natural man
- Just like a natural man
492
00:25:57,461 --> 00:26:01,215
- No more "Yes, sir"
- Just like a natural man
493
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:05,553
- No more "Yes, ma'am"
- Just like a natural man
494
00:26:06,554 --> 00:26:09,554
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
495
00:26:09,604 --> 00:26:14,154
Repair and Synchronization by
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