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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,301 --> 00:00:14,280 Fucking evil Kraut. 2 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:17,840 Always trying to trick me by saying nice things to me. 3 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,281 Oh. Are you's the new postman? 4 00:00:22,282 --> 00:00:24,763 Delivering joy in every package. 5 00:00:24,847 --> 00:00:26,882 I've got a special delivery... [boom] 6 00:00:27,016 --> 00:00:29,852 [screams] 7 00:00:29,935 --> 00:00:32,688 Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man! 8 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:35,649 Serves you right, you little Scheisse. 9 00:00:39,445 --> 00:00:42,781 Are you serious, Vic? You never work on Saturdays. 10 00:00:42,865 --> 00:00:46,160 I know, but this is an emergency, Cutie Pie. 11 00:00:46,243 --> 00:00:49,872 There's a big problem and the station needs me to fix it. 12 00:00:49,955 --> 00:00:53,584 But we're supposed to get naked and make cupcakes. 13 00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:55,794 And we will. 14 00:00:55,878 --> 00:00:58,505 Now, go put on your crotchless apron, turn on Scooby Doo, 15 00:00:58,589 --> 00:01:01,467 and I'll be right back to hop in your Mystery Machine. 16 00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:03,802 [car engine starts] 17 00:01:14,605 --> 00:01:21,111 [girls chanting] We want Corey! We want Corey! We want Corey! 18 00:01:21,195 --> 00:01:22,988 [girl] Where is he? 19 00:01:23,072 --> 00:01:24,990 [girl 2] Where is Corey? It's been, like, two hours. 20 00:01:25,074 --> 00:01:26,450 [man] I ain't playing this shit! 21 00:01:26,533 --> 00:01:28,452 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! 22 00:01:28,535 --> 00:01:30,662 - [man] I don't give a shit! - Oh, man. 23 00:01:30,746 --> 00:01:34,458 For the last time, I ain't playing this record. 24 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:36,376 It's a piece of bubblegum shit. 25 00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:39,546 Fuck you! I paid your station a boatload of money to play his song. 26 00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:43,258 - That's your fucking problem! - Calm down. Calm down. 27 00:01:43,342 --> 00:01:46,011 Uncle Vic's here to throw a little "nice" on the fire. 28 00:01:46,095 --> 00:01:49,390 Your DJ is disrespecting my artist. 29 00:01:49,473 --> 00:01:51,308 Duane Allman is an artist. 30 00:01:51,392 --> 00:01:53,977 This kid fell out of Donny Osmond's pussy. 31 00:01:54,061 --> 00:01:54,895 Did not! 32 00:01:54,978 --> 00:01:57,439 Now, hold on. Hold on. 33 00:01:57,523 --> 00:02:00,025 Nobody fell out of anybody's yow-yow. 34 00:02:00,109 --> 00:02:03,028 Hank, you and me are gonna have a little rap session. 35 00:02:03,112 --> 00:02:06,740 Look, brother, you and I both know this record sucks, 36 00:02:06,824 --> 00:02:09,701 but things are tight, and I need you to play ball. 37 00:02:09,785 --> 00:02:13,080 I won't do it, Vic! I got a reputation to uphold! 38 00:02:13,163 --> 00:02:15,958 Oh, fuck your reputation! Play the fucking record! 39 00:02:16,041 --> 00:02:18,877 How about I fuck your mother, you fucking hippie? How about that? 40 00:02:18,961 --> 00:02:20,421 You like that, you fucking cunt? 41 00:02:21,797 --> 00:02:23,507 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 42 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:25,384 Who stuck your pubes in a zipper? 43 00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,554 I'm so sorry. 44 00:02:28,637 --> 00:02:30,722 I don't do stress well. [chuckles] 45 00:02:31,557 --> 00:02:34,768 Our ratings are slipping, the suits are coming down on me... 46 00:02:34,852 --> 00:02:37,062 I ain't playing this shit. 47 00:02:37,146 --> 00:02:40,983 Hank, my man, you care about the purity of music, as do I, 48 00:02:41,066 --> 00:02:43,110 but sometimes you got to play the game. 49 00:02:43,193 --> 00:02:46,822 The only way to make it less painful for us 50 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,700 is a little tooter of Bolivian Agreement Powder. 51 00:02:54,246 --> 00:02:55,998 I love you, Vic. 52 00:02:58,292 --> 00:03:00,169 I love this record. 53 00:03:02,254 --> 00:03:06,049 Seeing a momma gorilla carry her baby gorilla makes me cry! 54 00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:07,759 Let's do it! 55 00:03:07,843 --> 00:03:10,179 [girls chanting] We want Corey! 56 00:03:10,262 --> 00:03:13,140 Ooh, I can feel my heartbeat through my forehead 57 00:03:13,223 --> 00:03:16,977 and I've got the righteous teen sensation you've been waiting to see. 58 00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:21,523 Corey Mars with "It's A Puppy Dog, Cotton Candy Day"! 59 00:03:21,607 --> 00:03:23,400 I hate myself! 60 00:03:23,483 --> 00:03:26,820 - [girls cheering] - # All I wanna do is play # 61 00:03:26,904 --> 00:03:30,115 ? It's a puppy dog cotton candy day ? 62 00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:32,868 ? All I wanna do is play ? 63 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,203 ? It's a puppy dog cotton candy day ? 64 00:03:34,286 --> 00:03:36,413 This song sounds like cats fucking. 65 00:03:36,497 --> 00:03:40,667 Can you believe that shit? He bribed him with drugs. 66 00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:44,004 They're compromising the integrity of the music business! 67 00:03:44,087 --> 00:03:46,882 There's no beauty in this world. 68 00:03:49,051 --> 00:03:52,971 Pardon me. I'd like to get to the Kay Kyser records. 69 00:03:53,055 --> 00:03:55,265 Oh! You had your time, just die already! 70 00:03:55,349 --> 00:03:58,852 [Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love" playing] 71 00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:08,695 ? Come and get your love ? 72 00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:14,034 ? Come and get your love ? 73 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,454 ? Come and get your love ? 74 00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,917 ? Come and get your love ? 75 00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:25,295 ? Come and get your love Come and get your love ? 76 00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:26,880 ? Come and get your love now ? 77 00:04:28,257 --> 00:04:30,008 ? Come and get your love Come and get your love ? 78 00:04:30,092 --> 00:04:31,301 ? Come and get your love now ? 79 00:04:31,385 --> 00:04:32,427 [grunts] Ah! 80 00:04:32,511 --> 00:04:34,137 ? Come and get your love Come and get your love ? 81 00:04:34,221 --> 00:04:36,014 ? Come and get your love now ? 82 00:04:37,224 --> 00:04:38,767 ? Come and get your love Come and get your love ? 83 00:04:38,850 --> 00:04:40,310 ? Come and get your love now ? 84 00:04:40,894 --> 00:04:43,525 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 85 00:04:43,647 --> 00:04:45,482 Our top story this Wednesday. 86 00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,985 Police are searching for a Rustland City woman 87 00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:50,404 who's been missing since last week. 88 00:04:52,239 --> 00:04:55,492 Her disappearance was reported by her distraught pimp, 89 00:04:55,576 --> 00:04:58,036 who goes by the name "International Touch." 90 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,121 What's a pimp? 91 00:04:59,705 --> 00:05:02,332 You watch Colt Luger. It's a black guy. 92 00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:04,543 No, it's not that. 93 00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:07,796 Well, it is that, but it's complicated. 94 00:05:07,879 --> 00:05:10,424 Did you take this macaroni from the counter? 95 00:05:10,507 --> 00:05:13,385 - Yeah? - Ah! I needed it for supper! 96 00:05:13,468 --> 00:05:15,929 I'm sorry. I love you, Daddy. 97 00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:18,599 - Nah, you don't. Nobody does. - [phone rings] 98 00:05:19,224 --> 00:05:21,560 Shit. I'll never get this done. 99 00:05:21,643 --> 00:05:23,186 We don't want any! 100 00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:24,605 - Hey, Frank. - Oh, hey, Rosie. 101 00:05:24,688 --> 00:05:29,109 You ready for your first night in the vending machine business? 102 00:05:29,192 --> 00:05:32,029 - Oh, thank you for this job, Rosie. - Now, don't thank me yet. 103 00:05:32,112 --> 00:05:35,157 This is just a one night tryout to see if Smokey likes you. 104 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,034 I know. But you still got me in the door. 105 00:05:37,117 --> 00:05:39,703 God, I have been going crazy sitting around like a bum. 106 00:05:39,786 --> 00:05:42,831 I would've killed myself, but I don't want to haunt my own house. 107 00:05:42,914 --> 00:05:45,375 Well, you're better off there than down here. 108 00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:50,547 All hands on deck! This is not a drill! We are being invaded! 109 00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:56,261 Scoop, these are all friendly planes. They're supposed to land here. 110 00:05:56,887 --> 00:06:02,642 Again, this is an airport. Now, give me the flare gun. 111 00:06:02,726 --> 00:06:04,895 I better let you go, Frank. Good luck tonight. 112 00:06:04,978 --> 00:06:07,647 Smokey said he's coming over to pick you up at 6:00. 113 00:06:07,731 --> 00:06:10,484 What? I thought I was gonna meet him at the warehouse. 114 00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:12,861 He's coming here? To my street? 115 00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:15,113 - You got a problem with that? - No, no, it's just... 116 00:06:15,197 --> 00:06:16,948 I know what it's "just." 117 00:06:17,032 --> 00:06:18,742 I vouched for you, Frank. 118 00:06:20,202 --> 00:06:21,411 Damn it! 119 00:06:21,495 --> 00:06:23,622 Just don't make me look bad. 120 00:06:23,705 --> 00:06:25,540 [water running] 121 00:06:25,624 --> 00:06:27,250 Oh, great! 122 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,004 Come and get your slop! 123 00:06:32,047 --> 00:06:34,883 [groans] Not Hamburger Assistant again. 124 00:06:34,966 --> 00:06:37,052 Why can't Mom make dinner? 125 00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:39,388 Ask her. She's the one who abandoned her post. 126 00:06:39,471 --> 00:06:42,808 Now, after doing all the lady work, I got to leave to go do some man work. 127 00:06:42,891 --> 00:06:46,520 And is anybody gonna get me flowers and tell me I'm beautiful? No! 128 00:06:46,603 --> 00:06:48,980 No one's out there marching for old Frank Murphy! 129 00:06:49,064 --> 00:06:52,401 He just watches the sands of his miserable life gather at his feet, 130 00:06:52,484 --> 00:06:55,195 while his wife, the "modern woman" 131 00:06:55,278 --> 00:06:57,781 throws on a pantsuit every morning and just... 132 00:06:59,324 --> 00:07:01,743 There's my worker bee! 133 00:07:04,246 --> 00:07:09,042 So, the pressure's on my bosses to invent a new product to save the company. 134 00:07:09,126 --> 00:07:12,087 Oh, boy, those clowns are quick with the insults, 135 00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:15,590 but when it comes time for ideas their brains take a three-hour nap. 136 00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:26,601 Slow down, Frank. 137 00:07:26,685 --> 00:07:28,311 This isn't prison. 138 00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:29,312 It kind of is. 139 00:07:30,063 --> 00:07:32,357 Look, I'm sorry I got to leave so early. 140 00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:34,860 It's okay. I'm just so happy you're working. 141 00:07:34,943 --> 00:07:38,530 Well, it's not ideal, but it's the best job I could get right now. 142 00:07:38,613 --> 00:07:42,617 Right. Of all the many, many jobs you applied for at the employment office? 143 00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:44,161 Watch it. 144 00:07:44,244 --> 00:07:46,371 Oh, I watched it. 145 00:07:46,455 --> 00:07:47,998 I watched it all. 146 00:07:49,249 --> 00:07:50,959 Lies. 147 00:07:51,042 --> 00:07:52,753 Kevin, what are you talking about? 148 00:07:52,836 --> 00:07:54,588 No, no, no, no. Let him go. Let him go. 149 00:07:54,671 --> 00:07:56,923 It's just some wizard slang nobody understands. 150 00:08:01,136 --> 00:08:04,097 Frank, honey, when you wash the lettuce, 151 00:08:04,181 --> 00:08:07,392 you need to dry it too, with paper towels. 152 00:08:07,476 --> 00:08:10,395 Oh, I get it. Say what you really mean, Sue! 153 00:08:10,479 --> 00:08:12,063 You're embarrassed of my new job. 154 00:08:12,147 --> 00:08:14,316 Why don't you just get a bumper sticker for your car, 155 00:08:14,399 --> 00:08:17,402 "Ask me about my loser husband's shit job"? 156 00:08:17,486 --> 00:08:20,614 I don't feel like that! But is that how you feel? 157 00:08:20,697 --> 00:08:24,326 Don't you put my own words in my mouth! You think it's beneath me! 158 00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:25,994 Honey, I'm proud of you! 159 00:08:26,077 --> 00:08:27,662 We need the money, no matter... 160 00:08:27,746 --> 00:08:29,790 No matter how little I make! I knew it! 161 00:08:29,873 --> 00:08:33,627 Yeah, I'll be stocking vending machines at night for $1.60 an hour 162 00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,712 if I'm lucky enough to even get the job! 163 00:08:35,796 --> 00:08:39,549 But I'm still a man, and I want to provide for my family by working, 164 00:08:39,633 --> 00:08:43,762 not laying around some commie hippie pad, feeling all groovy, 165 00:08:43,845 --> 00:08:45,639 eating government cheese. 166 00:08:45,722 --> 00:08:47,933 I've got my pride! And I'm gonna... 167 00:08:48,016 --> 00:08:50,894 - [horn honks] - [exhaust backfires] 168 00:08:50,977 --> 00:08:52,646 Which house is Frank Murphy at? 169 00:08:52,729 --> 00:08:54,231 I'm picking him up for work! 170 00:08:55,065 --> 00:08:56,233 Oh, shit. 171 00:08:56,316 --> 00:08:58,860 That looks like that ice cream truck that made the news 172 00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:00,779 and doesn't come around anymore. 173 00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,949 Hey, you're black. 174 00:09:04,032 --> 00:09:06,743 I work with a guy who knows Hank Aaron's niece. 175 00:09:06,827 --> 00:09:09,204 Okay, show's over. Nothing to see here. 176 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,998 Did somebody get shot? I saw a black guy in a truck! 177 00:09:12,082 --> 00:09:16,545 Nobody got shot, Babe! Go back inside, you fucking busybodies! 178 00:09:17,796 --> 00:09:20,131 Hi, Smokey, I'm Frank. 179 00:09:20,215 --> 00:09:22,217 Look like your name's Larry. 180 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:25,512 Now grab a crate and try not to fall out. 181 00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,639 Whoa! 182 00:09:27,722 --> 00:09:29,641 What did I just say? Pay attention! 183 00:09:30,642 --> 00:09:33,687 Have fun, Frank. And nice to meet you, brother! 184 00:09:38,733 --> 00:09:42,112 That one creepy-ass motherfucker. 185 00:09:43,530 --> 00:09:46,658 ? And the lie was That his face was young ? 186 00:09:46,741 --> 00:09:51,496 ? But it couldn't hide His weathered soul ? 187 00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,832 - # Weather # - # Weather # 188 00:09:55,667 --> 00:10:02,591 Gentlemen, we have produced an instant masterpiece. 189 00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:05,802 It's too good. Like, how can we ever top it? 190 00:10:05,886 --> 00:10:11,182 Oh, I think I hear the sound of a thousand panties dropping at once. 191 00:10:11,266 --> 00:10:12,726 We're never gonna get chicks. 192 00:10:12,809 --> 00:10:14,561 What about Haircut Girl? 193 00:10:14,644 --> 00:10:17,689 She doesn't exist! It's a lie, just like everything else! 194 00:10:17,772 --> 00:10:21,067 Let's face it, we'll never get our music heard. 195 00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:23,236 You saw that bullshit at the mall. 196 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,364 The only way to make it is to bribe DJs with cocaine. 197 00:10:26,448 --> 00:10:29,034 Well, if a little blow is all it takes, 198 00:10:29,117 --> 00:10:31,244 then let's get some and give it to that DJ. 199 00:10:31,328 --> 00:10:33,622 - We can't do that. - Sure we can! 200 00:10:33,705 --> 00:10:37,208 I know where to get drugs, and we can borrow my mom's car. 201 00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:41,129 The other day, I told her I was 16, and she totally bought it. 202 00:10:41,212 --> 00:10:43,590 Oh, come on, what's the point? It'll never work. 203 00:10:43,673 --> 00:10:45,467 It's all a fucking pipe dream. 204 00:10:45,550 --> 00:10:49,471 Whoa! Man, you sound like your dad. 205 00:10:49,554 --> 00:10:52,182 Don't you ever say that. I am not my father! 206 00:10:52,265 --> 00:10:54,100 Take it easy, man. 207 00:10:54,184 --> 00:10:57,062 Oh, you need to hit the baby. 208 00:10:57,145 --> 00:10:59,272 - [doll] Dada? - This calls for something special. 209 00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:00,815 Oregon Gold... 210 00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:05,195 - dipped in Columbia River salmon piss. - [doll] Dada? 211 00:11:05,278 --> 00:11:07,447 - Let's write another song. - Oh, yeah. 212 00:11:07,530 --> 00:11:10,367 It's probably a good idea for us to be prolific. 213 00:11:15,872 --> 00:11:18,708 [Bolo] Whoa! He's sucking the shit out of that baby. 214 00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:23,088 [coughing] 215 00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:26,633 Dada? Dada? 216 00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:29,803 [distored voice] Dada? 217 00:11:29,886 --> 00:11:32,013 Dada? 218 00:11:33,139 --> 00:11:35,350 Dada? 219 00:11:45,860 --> 00:11:48,029 [screams] 220 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,282 What the fuck is wrong with you? 221 00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:54,285 Maybe if you didn't cut class, you'd know how to rearrange a face! 222 00:11:54,369 --> 00:11:57,163 Ah! I hate you! 223 00:11:57,247 --> 00:12:00,041 I will not turn into my father. 224 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:03,044 Let's get that coke and change the world! 225 00:12:03,128 --> 00:12:04,879 Oh, good. You're still alive. 226 00:12:04,963 --> 00:12:08,425 We were about to toss you out in front of the hospital. 227 00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:10,218 Let's get those drugs! 228 00:12:18,101 --> 00:12:20,186 [radio DJ] That was Little Blind Peg Leg Ernie 229 00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:22,564 with "I Don't Need Your Damn Help." 230 00:12:22,647 --> 00:12:26,401 What's the matter, you never seen the inside of a truck before? 231 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,778 - No, it's just, that... - I know what you thinking. 232 00:12:28,862 --> 00:12:30,655 You're too good for this job. 233 00:12:30,739 --> 00:12:33,324 That's why I didn't want to hire you in the first place. 234 00:12:33,408 --> 00:12:35,493 You used to being a big shot. 235 00:12:35,577 --> 00:12:37,704 Now you're riding in this hoopty, 236 00:12:37,787 --> 00:12:43,418 next to a motherfucker that smell like cigars, got diabetes, 237 00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:46,171 and got a wife that fucks another man while he's home 238 00:12:46,254 --> 00:12:49,132 because she know good and damn well he too tired to come up them stairs. 239 00:12:49,215 --> 00:12:50,508 Oh, I wasn't thinking that. 240 00:12:50,592 --> 00:12:52,719 Yeah, but now you are. You see? 241 00:12:52,802 --> 00:12:55,054 All you people are the same. 242 00:12:56,890 --> 00:12:59,559 Now, here's the deal, Frank Murphy. 243 00:12:59,642 --> 00:13:02,061 You got one night to prove to me that you can do the job. 244 00:13:02,145 --> 00:13:05,982 Don't worry, Smokey. I can do this. I used to run an airport. 245 00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:09,027 Alrighty then, Mr. Lindenbergh, 246 00:13:09,110 --> 00:13:12,572 but remember, you do the job right, you're hired. 247 00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:17,786 You don't, you and that weird-ass neighbor can stay home and fuck each other! 248 00:13:18,495 --> 00:13:21,956 Now pay attention! Your job depends on it. 249 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,334 The first thing you do is open up the machine, 250 00:13:24,417 --> 00:13:27,629 put in the crackers, then the cookies, then the fruit pies. 251 00:13:27,712 --> 00:13:29,923 Not the fruit cakes, the fruit pies. 252 00:13:30,006 --> 00:13:32,842 Take out the cash box, empty it into your coin sack, 253 00:13:32,926 --> 00:13:37,138 shove your coin sack into the front of your pants. Sack to sack. Say it. 254 00:13:37,222 --> 00:13:39,057 Sack to sack. Coin to loin. 255 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:42,143 Don't improvise. This ain't jazz, motherfucker! 256 00:13:42,227 --> 00:13:43,728 Check the change for slugs. 257 00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:46,731 People try to put all kind of shit in these machines. 258 00:13:46,815 --> 00:13:49,400 One time I took out a big old toenail on a string. 259 00:13:49,484 --> 00:13:52,612 Slick motherfucker got me for five Clark bars and a Nutter Butter. 260 00:13:52,695 --> 00:13:54,364 Now, Hershey bars are different. 261 00:13:54,447 --> 00:13:56,991 They're the queen bitch of the whole operation. 262 00:13:57,075 --> 00:13:58,535 They're delicate. 263 00:13:58,618 --> 00:14:01,496 You got to be careful when you're loading them. Pay attention. 264 00:14:02,038 --> 00:14:05,333 You slide the bars in. 265 00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:06,334 Like this? 266 00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:08,419 Don't shove them in like an animal! 267 00:14:08,503 --> 00:14:11,381 Slide 'em in. 268 00:14:11,464 --> 00:14:13,967 Like you're making love to your woman. 269 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,886 You got to slide 'em in. 270 00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:19,889 Got to slide 'em in. 271 00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:22,642 - You got that? - Got it. 272 00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,271 Goddamn it, Frank Murphy. 273 00:14:26,729 --> 00:14:30,775 Maybe you can leave doors open in your neighborhood, but not around here. 274 00:14:30,859 --> 00:14:32,026 Sorry. Sorry. 275 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:34,529 That's your first strike. One more and you're out. 276 00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:35,780 Don't you get three strikes? 277 00:14:35,864 --> 00:14:40,326 Not in American Legion co-ed softball, only league I recognize! 278 00:14:41,494 --> 00:14:45,373 Now watch and learn. Shove it, slam it, twist the lock. 279 00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:48,001 Stick the key inside your sock. 280 00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:50,170 Why can't the key just be on the key ring? 281 00:14:50,253 --> 00:14:54,674 Because, the rhyme came first, system came later. 282 00:15:00,805 --> 00:15:03,099 All right, I landed on Colt. 283 00:15:03,183 --> 00:15:04,726 [Colt Luger on recording] Got you, dirtbag. 284 00:15:04,809 --> 00:15:08,938 Go to the San Cortez Regional Correctional Institute for kids! 285 00:15:09,022 --> 00:15:10,523 - Oh, man. - My turn. 286 00:15:13,776 --> 00:15:15,653 You just smacked a broad. 287 00:15:15,737 --> 00:15:17,322 Roll again. 288 00:15:17,405 --> 00:15:19,407 Ahh. This is just what I've needed. 289 00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:22,076 A nice, quiet night with my kids. 290 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:23,578 My turn. 291 00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:24,787 [machine rumbling] 292 00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:27,123 Oh, washing machine. 293 00:15:27,207 --> 00:15:29,250 Your father said he was gonna fix it. 294 00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:32,337 He also said he was gonna take me to the eye doctor. 295 00:15:33,129 --> 00:15:34,172 [gasps] 296 00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:36,925 - Is it happening again? - No. No. 297 00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:42,513 [sighs] 298 00:15:42,597 --> 00:15:44,974 Well, shine my shoes! 299 00:15:47,769 --> 00:15:50,021 At least the spin cycle works now. [chuckles] 300 00:15:50,104 --> 00:15:52,565 We should've put your father's soggy lettuce in there. 301 00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:54,953 [chuckles] Good one, Mom! 302 00:15:55,944 --> 00:15:57,362 [Bill] Mom? 303 00:15:58,029 --> 00:15:59,113 [Tracy] Plast-A-Ware's in trouble! 304 00:15:59,197 --> 00:16:01,241 [Gene] Everyone think up an exciting, new product! 305 00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:03,117 [Dana] Everybody except Sue! 306 00:16:03,201 --> 00:16:04,994 [laughter] 307 00:16:05,078 --> 00:16:07,038 [Tracy] I'd like to be in her fantasy! 308 00:16:26,783 --> 00:16:28,101 [man] It spin dries lettuce. 309 00:16:28,184 --> 00:16:29,686 - [woman] Unbelievable! - [man] What an invention! 310 00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:32,939 - [man 2] That's incredible! - [man 3] I've never seen anything so great! 311 00:16:33,022 --> 00:16:33,940 [woman] She's a genius! 312 00:16:34,023 --> 00:16:37,068 [man 4] Oh, my God, what an incredible invention! 313 00:16:38,111 --> 00:16:39,153 [applause] 314 00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:44,502 Eat that, you fuckers. 315 00:16:44,534 --> 00:16:47,120 Mommy, your smile is scaring me. 316 00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:54,502 [radio DJ] Ooh, that was American Flag with "Winnipeg Rock," 317 00:16:54,585 --> 00:17:00,717 and you are listening to Howlin' Hank's all night throbbing e-rock-tion. 318 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,803 - Are you sure we can score coke here? - Totally. 319 00:17:03,886 --> 00:17:06,014 This neighborhood's always on the news: 320 00:17:06,097 --> 00:17:07,698 "Drug Dealer Murdered", 321 00:17:07,699 --> 00:17:10,101 "Toddler Washed Away By Open Hydrant", 322 00:17:10,184 --> 00:17:14,147 "Three Teens in Mother's Car Killed in Drug Buy Gone Wrong." 323 00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,858 Wow, that could be us. 324 00:17:18,151 --> 00:17:19,193 That could be us! 325 00:17:19,277 --> 00:17:22,030 One way or another, we're getting famous tonight! 326 00:17:22,113 --> 00:17:24,615 Immortality forever! 327 00:17:26,075 --> 00:17:29,829 Okay, Frank Murphy. So far, so shitty. 328 00:17:29,912 --> 00:17:33,791 But at least you're doing better than the last two guys I tried out on this route. 329 00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:36,836 You ain't quit after a half an hour, and I ain't shot you. 330 00:17:36,919 --> 00:17:39,464 I'm not gonna quit. I need this too much. 331 00:17:40,048 --> 00:17:42,800 I already lied to my wife about how I got this job, 332 00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:45,011 I don't know what lie I'd tell her if I lost it. 333 00:17:45,094 --> 00:17:47,555 Youse a desperate motherfucker. 334 00:17:47,638 --> 00:17:49,015 I like that! 335 00:17:49,098 --> 00:17:50,725 - Catch! - What's this? 336 00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:53,436 The second-best thing about this job. 337 00:17:53,519 --> 00:17:55,938 You get to keep the damaged ones and the stales. 338 00:17:59,692 --> 00:18:03,529 Ugh! This soda is as flat as your ass, but it's free. 339 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,074 There was a mouse in mine. 340 00:18:08,785 --> 00:18:11,037 Get ready to be a hero, Frank Murphy. 341 00:18:12,121 --> 00:18:15,249 What's happening, everybody? It's the rubber man! 342 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,335 - [woman] All right! - [man] Rubber man is here! 343 00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,087 [cheering] 344 00:18:19,170 --> 00:18:22,965 - [man] Fill it up so I can fill it up! - [man 2] This one's ribbed for my pleasure. 345 00:18:23,049 --> 00:18:24,799 [woman] Where the fuck were you last week? 346 00:18:25,426 --> 00:18:26,511 How about that guy? 347 00:18:26,594 --> 00:18:28,262 - He looks like a drug dealer. - No. 348 00:18:28,346 --> 00:18:30,306 He's not wearing a vest with no shirt. 349 00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:34,102 - How about that guy? - No. He only has one gold tooth. 350 00:18:34,185 --> 00:18:36,396 You're too chicken to do this, man. 351 00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:39,732 Pull over here. I'll show you how it's done. 352 00:18:42,235 --> 00:18:46,280 First of all, I am sorry for the loss of Dr. King. 353 00:18:46,364 --> 00:18:48,533 You idiot! You don't talk to them like that. 354 00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:49,867 It's cool. It's cool. 355 00:18:50,493 --> 00:18:52,286 You boys looking for something? 356 00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,580 Something to make you feel good? 357 00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:56,499 - Shit yes. - Now we're talking. 358 00:18:56,582 --> 00:18:59,377 - You looking for that white stuff? - Yes, sir. 359 00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,754 - Ten dollars. - Deal! 360 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:04,799 [whistles] Bring it over! 361 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:07,552 All right, Murph! What a bargain! 362 00:19:07,635 --> 00:19:09,345 Hey, boys. 363 00:19:09,429 --> 00:19:12,682 If you got a sandwich bag, I'll fuck all y'all. 364 00:19:12,765 --> 00:19:14,517 [all scream] 365 00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:17,895 Fucking queers! 366 00:19:17,979 --> 00:19:20,231 Don't you mess with "International Touch"! 367 00:19:20,314 --> 00:19:25,236 Oh, damn. I can't keep this titty in to save my life. 368 00:19:25,319 --> 00:19:27,179 Bitch, get out of the street! 369 00:19:30,116 --> 00:19:31,784 [Colt Luger on recording] You just killed a civilian. 370 00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:33,619 Plant a gun on him and go eat a steak. 371 00:19:33,703 --> 00:19:34,620 It's your turn, Mom. 372 00:19:36,664 --> 00:19:40,084 - [Maureen] Mom? - Kids, Mom's gonna do a little drawing. 373 00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:41,836 Just... watch TV. 374 00:19:42,545 --> 00:19:44,839 Uh, even though it's almost bed time? 375 00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:47,008 Don't tell her that, you narc! 376 00:19:47,091 --> 00:19:50,136 - You can stay up a little later. - Yay! 377 00:19:50,219 --> 00:19:52,555 My visit to the Sag Harbor Nudist Colony 378 00:19:52,638 --> 00:19:57,226 revealed that this philosophy is shared by people of all ages. 379 00:19:57,310 --> 00:20:01,105 [man] Well, this tattoo used to be my wife's face. 380 00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:02,690 [both scream] 381 00:20:03,441 --> 00:20:06,694 - All set. - Good job, Frank Murphy. 382 00:20:06,777 --> 00:20:08,154 Thanks, Smokey. 383 00:20:08,237 --> 00:20:11,991 You know, Frank Murphy, you all right. You're gonna like this job. 384 00:20:12,074 --> 00:20:15,870 Captain of your own ship. Ain't nobody telling you what to do. 385 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:19,207 Not even stop signs. Fuck you, sign! 386 00:20:19,290 --> 00:20:22,043 Yep, just the romance of the road. 387 00:20:22,126 --> 00:20:23,377 Does that mean I got the job? 388 00:20:23,461 --> 00:20:28,466 Well, I was gonna make you beg for it just a little bit, but let's just say... 389 00:20:31,135 --> 00:20:32,845 Oh, shit! The money sacks! 390 00:20:34,639 --> 00:20:38,267 Told you to latch the fucking door! That's a whole night's take! 391 00:20:38,351 --> 00:20:40,228 Strike two! You failed! 392 00:20:40,311 --> 00:20:41,395 No, I can't! 393 00:20:42,438 --> 00:20:43,773 Get back in the damn truck! 394 00:20:43,856 --> 00:20:46,025 No! I'm gonna make this right! 395 00:20:46,108 --> 00:20:48,486 Then fuck the pennies, grab them quarters! 396 00:20:50,112 --> 00:20:51,113 [screams] 397 00:20:52,114 --> 00:20:55,910 [radio DJ] Ooh, I swear I'm addicted to this next song! 398 00:20:55,993 --> 00:21:00,164 - [sniffs] Here's Corey Mars with... - Turn that fucker off! 399 00:21:00,248 --> 00:21:01,707 What a disaster. 400 00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:05,378 Our money's gone, our careers are over before they even started. 401 00:21:05,461 --> 00:21:07,713 Well, I guess we won't ever be rockers. 402 00:21:07,797 --> 00:21:10,716 We'll have to get boring jobs, like being a dentist. 403 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,301 Or the guy who knocks cows out. 404 00:21:12,385 --> 00:21:15,721 Things could be worse. We could be that guy. 405 00:21:18,849 --> 00:21:20,017 Dad? 406 00:21:21,477 --> 00:21:23,229 Yeah! I got a nickel! 407 00:21:23,312 --> 00:21:25,940 No fucking way is that gonna be me! 408 00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:29,326 Bolo, we're going to that radio station. 409 00:21:29,652 --> 00:21:33,072 - Turn this car around! - Aye-aye, captain! 410 00:21:33,781 --> 00:21:35,116 - [all shout] - [honks horn] 411 00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:40,454 [Kevin] I meant wait until it was safe to do so! 412 00:21:40,538 --> 00:21:43,040 [Bolo] That ain't rock 'n' roll! 413 00:21:45,793 --> 00:21:47,670 Just one more to go! 414 00:21:48,296 --> 00:21:51,507 - You're gonna get yourself killed! - I'm not losing this job! 415 00:21:54,635 --> 00:21:57,430 I did it, Smokey! I got 'em all! 416 00:21:57,513 --> 00:21:59,390 - [growling] - [screams] 417 00:22:01,183 --> 00:22:02,268 Fuck! 418 00:22:03,227 --> 00:22:05,479 Fuck! Go, go, go! 419 00:22:05,563 --> 00:22:07,988 Shove! Slam! Twist the lock! 420 00:22:09,442 --> 00:22:11,027 Fuck you, you... [screams] 421 00:22:12,903 --> 00:22:16,365 I won't come back until that fucking DJ has listened to our song. 422 00:22:16,449 --> 00:22:18,576 Into the flames, rock god! 423 00:22:20,661 --> 00:22:21,954 Hey! Where you going, kid? 424 00:22:22,038 --> 00:22:24,957 - To claim my destiny! - Oh, okay. 425 00:22:25,041 --> 00:22:27,626 Why are our ratings so low? 426 00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,670 People aren't listening to the station. 427 00:22:29,754 --> 00:22:31,630 Well, there's got to be another reason! 428 00:22:31,714 --> 00:22:35,468 Here's the new one from Tin Chicken. 429 00:22:35,551 --> 00:22:37,345 I need you to play this tape! 430 00:22:37,428 --> 00:22:41,432 Whoa, kid, demo tapes go in the lobby trash can. 431 00:22:41,515 --> 00:22:45,019 No way! We spent almost three hours working on this! 432 00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:46,729 Hold on there, star child. 433 00:22:46,812 --> 00:22:48,439 Kevin, you don't belong here. 434 00:22:48,522 --> 00:22:51,609 No. You don't belong here, and you don't belong here, 435 00:22:51,692 --> 00:22:52,777 you fucking sellouts! 436 00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:55,738 You said you care about the purity of music? 437 00:22:55,821 --> 00:22:59,762 Well, if that's true and you have one shred of self-respect 438 00:22:59,763 --> 00:23:03,704 left in your souls, you will listen to the future of rock! 439 00:23:03,788 --> 00:23:06,332 Wait. Hang on, play this side. 440 00:23:06,415 --> 00:23:08,891 The other side's my oral report on Johnny Tremain. 441 00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:12,088 Kevin, when you've been in this business as long as I have, 442 00:23:12,171 --> 00:23:14,548 it's easy to lose sight of what's important. 443 00:23:14,632 --> 00:23:19,261 Thank you for reminding me that it's what's in your soul that really counts. 444 00:23:19,345 --> 00:23:21,514 Well, buddy, you got your balls in the door. 445 00:23:21,597 --> 00:23:23,307 Let's see if those balls can sing. 446 00:23:26,644 --> 00:23:29,230 This is Kevin Murphy with Merlin's Monocle 447 00:23:29,313 --> 00:23:33,734 and this is our first single, "Weathered Souls." 448 00:23:33,818 --> 00:23:37,113 ? On a desert road ? 449 00:23:37,196 --> 00:23:40,116 ? Sand storms and dunes ? 450 00:23:40,199 --> 00:23:42,201 ? Sat a weathered soul ? 451 00:23:42,284 --> 00:23:44,537 ? Who needed his own room ? 452 00:23:44,620 --> 00:23:46,914 ? Weather ? 453 00:23:48,749 --> 00:23:51,502 [radio DJ] Classes resumed after the snakes were shot. 454 00:23:51,585 --> 00:23:53,587 What are we listening for? It's just the news. 455 00:23:53,671 --> 00:23:58,008 Vic said to listen exactly at 12:06. He promised. 456 00:23:58,092 --> 00:23:59,927 It's 12:06 o'KWOCK. 457 00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:04,849 That means it's time for the... # Weather # 458 00:24:04,932 --> 00:24:08,071 Overnight lows in the mid-20's tonight. 459 00:24:08,477 --> 00:24:13,023 Did they just play two seconds of our song as their weather jingle? 460 00:24:13,107 --> 00:24:15,901 I think they did. 461 00:24:16,569 --> 00:24:19,113 Are you fucking kidding me? 462 00:24:21,532 --> 00:24:24,493 We are fucking gods! 463 00:24:24,577 --> 00:24:26,370 - Yes! We're rich! - Yes! 464 00:24:26,454 --> 00:24:29,748 - Eat me, Dad! - [Bolo] Yeah! Fuck your dad! 465 00:24:31,709 --> 00:24:35,296 Frank Murphy, there's a term us Snack Jacks use. 466 00:24:35,379 --> 00:24:36,922 It's called "it." 467 00:24:37,006 --> 00:24:38,924 And you got "it." 468 00:24:39,008 --> 00:24:42,678 And I'm gonna put "it" in this truck five nights a week. 469 00:24:45,055 --> 00:24:47,766 Take her home. You start tomorrow. 470 00:24:47,850 --> 00:24:50,269 Thanks, Smokey. I won't let you down. 471 00:24:52,521 --> 00:24:54,440 That's the last time we touch, okay? 472 00:24:54,523 --> 00:24:56,358 [engine turns over] 473 00:24:56,442 --> 00:24:57,902 ? Loving for me ? 474 00:24:57,985 --> 00:25:00,070 ? Just like a natural man ? 475 00:25:00,154 --> 00:25:02,156 ? Like a natural man ? 476 00:25:02,239 --> 00:25:04,200 ? Like a natural man ? 477 00:25:04,283 --> 00:25:05,784 ? Just like a natural man ? 478 00:25:05,868 --> 00:25:08,454 - [Frank] Oh! - # Just like a natural man # 479 00:25:08,537 --> 00:25:10,664 ? Just like a natural man ? 480 00:25:10,748 --> 00:25:15,044 - # My feet are on the ground # - # Just like a natural man # 481 00:25:15,127 --> 00:25:20,132 - # My soul is searching for the sky # - # Just like a natural man # 482 00:25:20,216 --> 00:25:22,760 - # Like a natural man # - # Just like a natural man # 483 00:25:22,843 --> 00:25:27,389 - # Just like a natural man # - # Just like a natural man # 484 00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:29,642 ? My feet are on the ground... ? 485 00:25:29,725 --> 00:25:31,477 [Sue] Oh, Frank! 486 00:25:33,312 --> 00:25:34,980 Oh, Frank! 487 00:25:36,857 --> 00:25:39,902 - # Like a natural man # - # Just like a natural man # 488 00:25:39,985 --> 00:25:44,198 - # Just like a natural man # - # Just like a natural man # 489 00:25:44,281 --> 00:25:48,410 - # My feet are on the ground # - # Just like a natural man # 490 00:25:48,494 --> 00:25:53,374 - # My soul is searching for the sky # - # Just like a natural man # 491 00:25:53,457 --> 00:25:57,378 - # Like a natural man # - # Just like a natural man # 492 00:25:57,461 --> 00:26:01,215 - # No more "Yes, sir" # - # Just like a natural man # 493 00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:05,553 - # No more "Yes, ma'am" # - # Just like a natural man # 494 00:26:06,554 --> 00:26:09,554 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 495 00:26:09,604 --> 00:26:14,154 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39482

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