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[all] A Honeybee is always helpful,
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00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:09,767
like bees help flowers grow.
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00:00:09,850 --> 00:00:11,615
She is friendly and kind,
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00:00:11,616 --> 00:00:15,147
grooms responsibly,
and rejects communism.
5
00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:18,984
She works hard, and will be
rewarded with a happy life.
6
00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:20,486
Oh, bullshit.
7
00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:23,155
[girls]
A Honeybee always plays by the rules.
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00:00:23,238 --> 00:00:26,450
Okay, that's enough.
You know what, ladies?
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00:00:26,533 --> 00:00:28,827
I worked hard, I played by the rules.
10
00:00:28,994 --> 00:00:30,454
What did it get me?
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00:00:30,537 --> 00:00:33,415
I'm sitting with a bunch of little girls
in the middle of the day
12
00:00:33,499 --> 00:00:35,459
with a goddamn thimble on my head.
13
00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:38,003
I look like a Jewish leprechaun.
14
00:00:38,087 --> 00:00:40,339
You know what that means?
I'm not working.
15
00:00:40,422 --> 00:00:42,883
That means I'm not providing.
That means I'm not a man.
16
00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:46,421
Did you know I fought in a war?
Oh, yeah. In Korea,
17
00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:49,765
I shoved my sergeant's
bloody intestines back into his body.
18
00:00:49,848 --> 00:00:52,768
He kept yelling,
"Those aren't mine! Those aren't mine!"
19
00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,604
- Fog of war, girls!
- Oh, my God.
20
00:00:55,687 --> 00:00:57,439
I still can't eat kielbasa.
21
00:00:57,523 --> 00:00:59,191
And how am I rewarded?
22
00:00:59,274 --> 00:01:03,070
With a TV show called M*A*S*H
that turns the hell I went through
23
00:01:03,153 --> 00:01:06,448
into a bunch of doctors playing fucking
grab-ass in the Hollywood Hills!
24
00:01:06,532 --> 00:01:10,869
- Dad, not M*A*S*H again!
- Sorry, I'm sorry.
25
00:01:10,953 --> 00:01:12,204
[sighs]
26
00:01:12,287 --> 00:01:14,331
All right, we got 30 minutes left.
27
00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:19,628
Let's make popcorn balls
28
00:01:19,711 --> 00:01:22,423
and talk about how those pansies
are giving Nixon the shaft.
29
00:01:22,506 --> 00:01:26,009
[Redbone's
"Come and Get Your Love" playing]
30
00:01:33,142 --> 00:01:35,602
? Come and get your love ?
31
00:01:38,021 --> 00:01:40,566
? Come and get your love ?
32
00:01:42,151 --> 00:01:43,610
? Come and get your love ?
33
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,907
? Come and get your love ?
34
00:01:50,325 --> 00:01:52,244
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
35
00:01:52,327 --> 00:01:53,912
? Come and get your love now ?
36
00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,582
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
37
00:01:56,665 --> 00:01:57,958
? Come and get your love now ?
38
00:01:58,041 --> 00:01:59,501
[grunts] Ah!
39
00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:01,628
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
40
00:02:01,712 --> 00:02:03,255
? Come and get your love now ?
41
00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,382
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
42
00:02:05,466 --> 00:02:07,259
? Come and get your love now ?
43
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:11,104
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
44
00:02:11,139 --> 00:02:14,159
[rock music playing]
45
00:02:14,194 --> 00:02:15,142
[announcer howls]
46
00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:16,852
All right, baby!
47
00:02:16,935 --> 00:02:21,732
That was Whiplash Firestorm,
waking you up on this Friday!
48
00:02:21,815 --> 00:02:26,565
You're listening to W-K-W-O-K FM.
The Kwok! ****
49
00:02:29,656 --> 00:02:31,617
[alarm ringing]
50
00:02:31,700 --> 00:02:34,203
[groans]
Oh, turn that fucking light off!
51
00:02:34,286 --> 00:02:35,871
I got to do my papers!
52
00:02:35,954 --> 00:02:38,332
[Frank] Knock it off, you goddamn animals!
53
00:02:38,415 --> 00:02:41,585
What kind of dildo gets a job
that starts at five in the morning?
54
00:02:41,668 --> 00:02:43,962
What kind of dildo fucks his hand?
55
00:02:44,046 --> 00:02:45,172
[grunting]
56
00:02:45,255 --> 00:02:47,508
- Fuck you!
- Why does your hand smell like butter?
57
00:02:47,591 --> 00:02:50,844
I told you to knock it off! Now, shut up
before you wake up your sister!
58
00:02:50,928 --> 00:02:52,596
[Maureen] Dad, stop yelling!
59
00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:55,766
Go back to sleep, angel!
See what you pricks did?
60
00:02:58,018 --> 00:03:00,729
I swear, they're trying to kill me.
61
00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:04,107
What's with those two?
They've been at each other's throats.
62
00:03:04,191 --> 00:03:06,777
Well, I have a theory,
but you're not gonna like it.
63
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,278
It's Kevin.
64
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:12,115
He's not a boy anymore and...
he's getting to that age when...
65
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:14,910
- he's... you know...
- He's what?
66
00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:18,580
- He's gonna want to fuck something.
- Jesus, Frank!
67
00:03:18,664 --> 00:03:20,499
[chuckles]
I said you weren't gonna like it.
68
00:03:20,582 --> 00:03:24,086
Oh, on that note,
there's no going back to sleep now.
69
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,879
I better study my shorthand anyway.
70
00:03:25,963 --> 00:03:29,800
I have to take notes at the big
product development meeting today.
71
00:03:29,883 --> 00:03:34,263
- And you're gonna go today, right?
- Oh, Sue.
72
00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:37,766
Honey, there's no shame
in filing for unemployment.
73
00:03:37,849 --> 00:03:40,018
Sure there is. It's humiliating.
74
00:03:40,102 --> 00:03:42,813
I'll be down there with a bunch of hippies
with their dirty feet
75
00:03:42,896 --> 00:03:44,606
and their fucking Beatle-haircuts.
76
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,400
? Hello, hello
Goodbye, goodbye ?
77
00:03:46,483 --> 00:03:48,485
That's not a song,
it's a baby's first words!
78
00:03:48,569 --> 00:03:49,987
Frank, focus.
79
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,447
I know you have your pride,
but please go down there.
80
00:03:52,531 --> 00:03:54,324
You paid into that system
your whole life.
81
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:57,119
And they have people
who will help you apply for work.
82
00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,745
Yeah, shit work.
83
00:03:58,829 --> 00:04:02,082
I want to provide for this family, Sue.
And I'm looking for a real job.
84
00:04:02,165 --> 00:04:04,126
There's still some airlines
I haven't tried.
85
00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:06,128
Pogo couldn't have blackballed me
at all of them.
86
00:04:06,211 --> 00:04:08,088
You almost killed him, Frank.
87
00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,215
And the only thing he can reach
is his phone.
88
00:04:10,299 --> 00:04:12,426
I'm pretty sure
he went through his entire Rolodex.
89
00:04:12,509 --> 00:04:15,762
- Fucking Rolodex...
- Frank, we need the money.
90
00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:18,015
I'm not making as much
as you did at Mohican.
91
00:04:18,098 --> 00:04:20,726
Please promise me you'll go
to the employment office.
92
00:04:20,809 --> 00:04:23,745
Okay. Fine.
I promise.
93
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:28,400
- I'll go be a leech.
- Yes, but you're my leech.
94
00:04:30,027 --> 00:04:32,029
Oh, Sue.
95
00:04:32,112 --> 00:04:33,530
Frank. Not now.
96
00:04:33,614 --> 00:04:35,532
Okay. Suit yourself.
97
00:04:36,533 --> 00:04:37,826
How about now?
98
00:04:37,909 --> 00:04:38,994
[groans]
99
00:04:45,846 --> 00:04:48,831
_
100
00:04:50,255 --> 00:04:51,632
[bicycle bell rings]
101
00:05:08,148 --> 00:05:09,775
[dog barking]
102
00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:22,329
- [cat hissing]
- Ow!
103
00:05:22,412 --> 00:05:25,165
Gotcha!
Pussy for a pussy!
104
00:05:25,248 --> 00:05:28,526
- Newsflash: fuck you!
- Ah!
105
00:05:28,794 --> 00:05:30,170
[horn honks]
106
00:05:30,253 --> 00:05:33,173
Get the fuck out of the street,
you little motherfuck...
107
00:05:33,256 --> 00:05:35,399
Oh, hello, Bill!
108
00:05:44,643 --> 00:05:45,936
[sighs]
109
00:05:46,019 --> 00:05:47,479
[woman] Nothing again for you this week.
110
00:05:47,562 --> 00:05:51,441
Look at all this deadweight,
suckling from Uncle Sam's tit.
111
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,110
[man] Please, I need a job.
112
00:05:53,193 --> 00:05:55,570
[woman 2] What if I had two babies?
Would that get me more?
113
00:05:55,654 --> 00:05:57,656
- I can get another baby.
- [man 2] I'm wearing rented shoes.
114
00:05:57,739 --> 00:06:00,283
- I don't know how we'll eat this week.
- [man 3] Somebody shit back here.
115
00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:02,786
- [man 4] I've come every day...
- I slept under another man for warmth.
116
00:06:02,869 --> 00:06:05,038
Why you giving all the good jobs
to the blacks?
117
00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:07,541
[sighs]
Come on, Frank. Pucker up.
118
00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:11,670
- [man] Hey, Frank Murphy!
- Oh, no.
119
00:06:11,753 --> 00:06:14,381
It's me, Phineas!
From the circus, remember?
120
00:06:14,464 --> 00:06:17,050
- We're union brothers.
- Oh, yeah, hey.
121
00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:21,054
So, Frank, the two-headed baby
told me you got fired at Christmas.
122
00:06:21,221 --> 00:06:25,434
- Yeah.
- They shut us down for animal cruelty.
123
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:28,228
We've been hitting elephants
with shovels for years.
124
00:06:28,311 --> 00:06:31,481
But suddenly, you get
a Democrat in office...
125
00:06:31,648 --> 00:06:33,859
Anyway, great to see you, pal.
126
00:06:33,942 --> 00:06:36,278
- Yeah, listen, I...
- Fellas, this is Frank Murphy.
127
00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:38,905
He used to be the boss canvas man down
at the airport,
128
00:06:38,989 --> 00:06:41,158
pulling down some sweet alfalfa.
129
00:06:41,324 --> 00:06:44,786
Now he's kipping in clown alley
with no aba-daba. Ain't you, Frank?
130
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:45,954
Please, stop saying my name.
131
00:06:46,037 --> 00:06:49,291
I understand, Frank.
Embarrassed to be here, huh?
132
00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,709
This ain't easy.
133
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,753
The most crippling thing you'll ever do
is walk up to that window,
134
00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:56,089
spit up your pride and admit it:
135
00:06:56,173 --> 00:07:00,260
"I'm a complete failure.
I can't support my family."
136
00:07:00,343 --> 00:07:03,096
That's when you want to crawl
into a cannon, light the fuse...
137
00:07:03,180 --> 00:07:04,681
I can't do this.
138
00:07:04,764 --> 00:07:08,518
Where you going, Frank?
They're about to pass out lice combs.
139
00:07:13,106 --> 00:07:16,568
Gentlemen, Stor-a-Meal
absolutely murdered us last year.
140
00:07:16,651 --> 00:07:20,405
In order to compete, we'll have to do
the previously unthinkable:
141
00:07:20,489 --> 00:07:22,491
come up with a new and exciting product.
142
00:07:22,574 --> 00:07:25,035
New and exciting?
[groans]
143
00:07:25,118 --> 00:07:27,496
- That sounds like a lot of work.
- It's easy.
144
00:07:27,579 --> 00:07:30,749
All we do is slap some new names
on the old product line,
145
00:07:30,832 --> 00:07:33,543
and those pill-popping housewives
won't know the difference.
146
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,795
[Sue] Excuse me, Tracy.
147
00:07:34,878 --> 00:07:39,216
I know it's not my place to interrupt,
but I am a housewife.
148
00:07:39,299 --> 00:07:42,052
So, if I could throw in my two cents...
149
00:07:42,135 --> 00:07:45,806
I'd like to throw my two cents in her.
[laughter]
150
00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:48,517
Oh, of course, Sue,
tell us what you think.
151
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,310
We always want input from secretaries.
152
00:07:50,393 --> 00:07:54,064
"Ooh, ooh, look at me, I'm a girl!
I'm entitled to my own opinion!"
153
00:07:54,147 --> 00:07:55,357
[Tracy] All right, settle down.
154
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,235
Sue has more current field
experience than any of us.
155
00:07:58,318 --> 00:08:01,530
It wouldn't kill us to listen to her.
Go ahead, Sue.
156
00:08:01,613 --> 00:08:04,950
Thank you.
Well, in my experience,
157
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:08,610
the product line is a little
long in the tooth, and I believe
158
00:08:08,645 --> 00:08:11,581
our customers would embrace
an innovative, new product.
159
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,459
- Such as?
- Oh, uh...
160
00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:17,537
I don't know exactly
what that is just yet.
161
00:08:22,926 --> 00:08:24,344
- Great work, Sue.
- Thank you.
162
00:08:24,427 --> 00:08:26,346
You just proved to me
that you have what it takes
163
00:08:26,429 --> 00:08:29,349
to handle a very special assignment.
Write this down.
164
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:33,895
- [slow talk] Three... ham... sandwiches.
- [men snickering]
165
00:08:33,979 --> 00:08:37,983
One... extra... mayo,
one... hold... the mustard.
166
00:08:38,066 --> 00:08:39,943
I'd like to hold her mustard!
167
00:08:40,026 --> 00:08:41,778
[laughter]
168
00:08:44,072 --> 00:08:47,538
Gene, I'm gonna call you Detroit
'cause you're on fire!
169
00:08:52,372 --> 00:08:55,542
[man on TV] New from Spin-Tel Records!
It's dynamite hit TNT Explosion!
170
00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:58,211
Thirty-eight original hits!
The Electric Otis Box!
171
00:08:58,295 --> 00:09:01,214
? My love has no max capacity ?
172
00:09:01,298 --> 00:09:03,466
[man] Reid Harrison, TV's Colt Luger!
173
00:09:03,550 --> 00:09:07,095
? All the girls sing
Here come banana man, hey ?
174
00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:09,139
[man] The sensational new Corey Mars!
175
00:09:09,222 --> 00:09:13,226
? Eating cotton candy
And thinking of Kristy ?
176
00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:15,186
Why the fuck am I watching this?
177
00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:18,356
Love means never having to say,
"I have cancer."
178
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,025
Oh, you are cancer.
179
00:09:20,108 --> 00:09:24,154
Mom, I did it! I'm fully employed
as a mortician's assistant!
180
00:09:24,237 --> 00:09:26,615
Thank you,
Funeral Academy of America!
181
00:09:26,698 --> 00:09:29,326
[man] Getting the job of
your dreams is that easy!
182
00:09:29,409 --> 00:09:30,535
No, it isn't.
183
00:09:30,619 --> 00:09:31,703
[turns off TV]
184
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:36,583
[crying]
Oh, shit, I fucked up.
185
00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:38,418
Oh, shit.
186
00:09:39,294 --> 00:09:42,005
Oh, I fucked up.
187
00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:44,984
[crying]
188
00:09:47,177 --> 00:09:49,012
- Dad, are you crying?
- Oh, Jesus!
189
00:09:49,095 --> 00:09:51,473
- What the hell are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?
190
00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:53,975
It's my fucking house!
Why aren't you at school?
191
00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,561
We got out early.
We had a teacher's meeting.
192
00:09:56,645 --> 00:09:58,396
It is 9:30 in the morning.
193
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,983
- Well, it's an all-day meeting.
- Oh, bullshit!
194
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,152
It's one fucking lie after another
with you, isn't it?
195
00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:05,487
A real man doesn't lie!
196
00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:08,073
Well, how come you're not
at the unemployment office?
197
00:10:08,156 --> 00:10:11,117
- Because I'm your father!
- God, I hate this house!
198
00:10:11,201 --> 00:10:14,329
I'm getting out of here
as soon as I turn 16!
199
00:10:14,412 --> 00:10:16,039
Good! Then give it to me in writing!
200
00:10:16,122 --> 00:10:19,542
If you're not able to spell your name,
just trace your hand!
201
00:10:19,626 --> 00:10:21,211
I can't take this anymore!
202
00:10:21,294 --> 00:10:23,421
My room sucks! I got no privacy!
203
00:10:23,505 --> 00:10:26,091
Bill always wakes me up
to do his stupid paper route!
204
00:10:26,174 --> 00:10:27,634
It's affecting my school work!
205
00:10:27,717 --> 00:10:30,345
Reading at a third grade level
is affecting your school work,
206
00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:31,554
you fucking dope!
207
00:10:31,638 --> 00:10:34,766
I hate school!
I'm not good at it!
208
00:10:34,849 --> 00:10:37,310
I only like playing my guitar!
209
00:10:37,394 --> 00:10:40,522
I'm trying to write hit records
so I can save the family,
210
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:44,025
but how can I do that with fucking Bill
in the next fucking bed?!
211
00:10:44,109 --> 00:10:45,443
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
212
00:10:45,527 --> 00:10:47,404
Jesus, Kevin.
Don't have a stroke.
213
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:49,906
I'm an artist and I need room to blossom!
214
00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,616
Okay, okay. Relax.
215
00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:55,537
You know, I remember when I was your age...
216
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,122
This isn't fucking about you!
217
00:10:57,205 --> 00:10:59,124
You're right. I'm sorry.
218
00:10:59,207 --> 00:11:01,918
Okay, look, you don't have to go back
to school today.
219
00:11:02,002 --> 00:11:04,379
We'll call it a sick day.
220
00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:06,131
- Really?
- Yeah.
221
00:11:06,214 --> 00:11:07,590
Thanks, Dad.
222
00:11:07,674 --> 00:11:09,634
And as long as we're being honest,
223
00:11:09,718 --> 00:11:13,763
I did go to the employment office,
but I didn't sign up.
224
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:16,307
I just left.
It was too humiliating.
225
00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:19,394
- Oh, man, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
226
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:21,855
And look, I understand
what you're going through.
227
00:11:21,938 --> 00:11:24,649
- I hated my dad too.
- I don't hate you.
228
00:11:24,733 --> 00:11:27,026
Well, I hated my dad.
229
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:29,571
[both laugh]
230
00:11:30,363 --> 00:11:34,951
Look, Kevin, I'd love to help you with
this room situation, but what can I do?
231
00:11:35,034 --> 00:11:37,829
- I can't put Bill in with Maureen.
- Well, then it's hopeless!
232
00:11:37,912 --> 00:11:42,041
The fucking dog has his own house!
There's no place for me!
233
00:11:43,460 --> 00:11:45,207
This could be a place for me.
234
00:11:46,337 --> 00:11:49,424
Oh, Kevin. You can't live here.
It's full of junk.
235
00:11:49,507 --> 00:11:53,136
- It's a blank canvas.
- A canvas smeared with mold.
236
00:11:53,219 --> 00:11:55,889
- I love it.
- Do you smell gas?
237
00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:57,766
I smell freedom.
238
00:12:01,811 --> 00:12:06,566
When you pour your coffee in it,
the Rainbow Mug changes color,
239
00:12:06,649 --> 00:12:10,028
thanks to the hundreds of chemicals
in the plastic.
240
00:12:10,111 --> 00:12:11,404
You get all that, Sue?
241
00:12:11,488 --> 00:12:12,989
- Yes.
- Good.
242
00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:15,241
Now eat it, shit it out,
243
00:12:15,325 --> 00:12:18,536
burn the shit and bury the shit ashes.
244
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,955
- [laughter]
- Yeah, that was a shitty idea.
245
00:12:21,039 --> 00:12:23,750
- Whose was it? Whose was it?
- [Tracy] I'm just kidding, Sue.
246
00:12:23,833 --> 00:12:25,543
Put that in the bad idea folder.
247
00:12:25,627 --> 00:12:29,266
I'd like to put a bad idea
in Sue's folder!
248
00:12:29,547 --> 00:12:31,925
- [Dana] How does he do it?
- Okay, that's it.
249
00:12:32,008 --> 00:12:33,676
I'm not trying to be a square.
250
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,638
My kids happen to think I'm very cool,
but enough is enough.
251
00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:41,038
- I am not gonna take any more of this...
- Afternoon, gentlemen.
252
00:12:41,039 --> 00:12:42,560
Vivian! What's shaking, honey?
253
00:12:42,644 --> 00:12:46,189
Aside from those two milk sacs
you got hanging off your chest.
254
00:12:46,272 --> 00:12:47,482
You know something?
[snickering]
255
00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:50,276
That type of language
is crude and inappropriate
256
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,695
- for a professional setting.
- Oh, thank God.
257
00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:55,093
So, why don't you have some class,
258
00:12:55,094 --> 00:12:57,408
you limp-dicked San
Francisco cocksuckers?
259
00:12:57,492 --> 00:12:59,326
Whoo-hoo!
[laughter]
260
00:13:00,036 --> 00:13:02,705
Vivian, you crazy, lovable whore!
261
00:13:02,789 --> 00:13:05,375
Well, Tracy, if I was selling it,
262
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:08,417
I'd give you the under
four-inch discount.
263
00:13:08,753 --> 00:13:10,255
And if you ever do fuck me,
264
00:13:10,338 --> 00:13:13,466
leave a note down there
so I know you dropped by.
265
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,552
Okay, I'll leave it on the piano.
266
00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:20,515
- The piano!
- You big-pussied bitch!
267
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:22,349
[silence]
268
00:13:23,142 --> 00:13:27,313
- Too far?
- Jesus, Gene. Let's take ten.
269
00:13:27,397 --> 00:13:29,816
Enjoy your circle jerk,
you taint sniffers.
270
00:13:29,899 --> 00:13:31,627
[laughter]
271
00:13:33,695 --> 00:13:36,322
- Okay, you can thank me now.
- Thank you for what?
272
00:13:36,406 --> 00:13:38,950
- For saving your job.
- Those men are all pigs.
273
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:41,661
Yes and you better get past it
if you want to stay here.
274
00:13:41,744 --> 00:13:44,414
This is their game,
and we have to play along.
275
00:13:44,497 --> 00:13:46,666
Hey, Viv, do you know where
my three-hole punch is?
276
00:13:46,749 --> 00:13:49,595
I don't know, Dana.
Did you check your twat?
277
00:13:49,975 --> 00:13:52,052
[forced chuckle]
Yeah. Yeah...
278
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,340
That's all there is to it. Hm?
279
00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:56,801
They give you shit,
you give it right back.
280
00:13:56,885 --> 00:13:58,428
But he wasn't giving you any shit.
281
00:13:58,511 --> 00:14:00,680
He was treating me like his fucking maid.
282
00:14:00,763 --> 00:14:03,558
You think he asked any men
to help find his three-hole punch?
283
00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:06,185
And I've got more seniority than him.
284
00:14:06,269 --> 00:14:09,772
Now listen, I stuck my neck out
to get you in here.
285
00:14:09,856 --> 00:14:12,650
Don't disappoint me.
Play the game.
286
00:14:12,734 --> 00:14:16,362
I don't think I can do that.
It's just not who I am.
287
00:14:16,446 --> 00:14:21,284
Well, "who I am" isn't going to buy
you ten cents worth of groceries.
288
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:23,494
All right, boys,
we've got plastic to sell.
289
00:14:23,578 --> 00:14:26,122
Wipe the jizz off your chins
and get in here.
290
00:14:26,206 --> 00:14:28,458
- [Gene] Jizz off my chin!
- [laughter]
291
00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:34,422
Okay!
292
00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,258
Yeah, no more babies in this house.
293
00:14:37,259 --> 00:14:40,970
- Won't make that mistake a fourth time.
- Stupid Electric Football.
294
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,765
Dildos just went around in circles anyway.
295
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:45,850
Oh, there's lots of room in here now!
296
00:14:45,934 --> 00:14:48,436
- I can almost lie down.
- All right, Kevin.
297
00:14:48,519 --> 00:14:51,749
I will fix this up for you,
but if you cut class again
298
00:14:51,784 --> 00:14:53,900
and lie about it, I will
bury you in the backyard.
299
00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:57,237
And I will rise up, through my music!
300
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,612
- Kevin.
- Right. I know. Stay in school.
301
00:15:00,647 --> 00:15:04,118
"A real man never lies.
Stop stealing change off your dresser."
302
00:15:04,202 --> 00:15:07,080
[chuckles]
I fucking knew that was you.
303
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,585
Oh, wow!
Dad, is this you and Mom?
304
00:15:13,336 --> 00:15:16,547
- You almost look happy.
- That's because you weren't born yet.
305
00:15:16,631 --> 00:15:17,507
[both laugh]
306
00:15:19,259 --> 00:15:22,720
- [Kevin] I sure ruined your life.
- [Frank] Yes! You did!
307
00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:28,601
Are you enjoying your time as a newsie?
308
00:15:28,685 --> 00:15:30,728
I don't like getting up early,
309
00:15:30,812 --> 00:15:33,147
but it's all worth it
because today I get paid.
310
00:15:33,231 --> 00:15:34,649
How much do you make?
311
00:15:34,732 --> 00:15:35,692
I don't know yet.
312
00:15:35,775 --> 00:15:37,193
But the first thing I'm gonna do is,
313
00:15:37,277 --> 00:15:39,570
I'm gonna get the hockey stick
that Jacques Dupuis uses.
314
00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:42,532
And if Kevin breaks this one,
I'll kill him in his sleep.
315
00:15:42,615 --> 00:15:46,786
My parents won't let me play hockey,
but my nana's teaching me bridge.
316
00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:49,372
Those women are brutal.
317
00:15:49,455 --> 00:15:53,001
Well, this is where my newspaper boss
told me to meet him.
318
00:15:55,169 --> 00:15:57,672
- Hi, Randy.
- Hey, you, freckles!
319
00:15:57,755 --> 00:16:01,050
Right on time.
You're doing a great job on the route.
320
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,386
Way better than the last asshole
who had it.
321
00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:06,889
- Who was that?
- Me! [laughs] Right?
322
00:16:07,473 --> 00:16:09,767
- Who's this little fruit pie?
- Hello.
323
00:16:09,851 --> 00:16:12,395
So... I guess this is when
you pay me, right?
324
00:16:12,478 --> 00:16:13,521
[laughs]
325
00:16:13,604 --> 00:16:17,567
No, you pay me and then I pay you.
Here's your collection book.
326
00:16:17,692 --> 00:16:20,653
Wait, I have to collect the money?
327
00:16:20,737 --> 00:16:24,115
Yep. Welcome to the wonderful world
of selling weed.
328
00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:25,450
You mean papers?
329
00:16:25,533 --> 00:16:28,411
I prefer to use a bong filled
with embalming fluid.
330
00:16:28,494 --> 00:16:30,121
That's how the pharaohs did it.
331
00:16:30,204 --> 00:16:33,124
- You'll do great. Most people will pay.
- Most?
332
00:16:33,207 --> 00:16:36,294
If you have any trouble,
just bring Poindexter here for backup.
333
00:16:36,377 --> 00:16:40,715
Maybe he can drop his microscope
on the deadbeat's foot. [laughs]
334
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,135
I would never do that
to a precision instrument.
335
00:16:44,218 --> 00:16:46,929
Are you a cop?
You have to tell me if you're a cop!
336
00:16:47,013 --> 00:16:49,599
No, I don't.
That's a popular misconception!
337
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,811
I could make this work, Frank.
338
00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:57,398
Rig up some wiring, spray some asbestos,
339
00:16:57,482 --> 00:17:01,527
slap on some lead paint.
Kevin, you'll be in heaven in no time.
340
00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:03,237
Thanks, Babe. You're a lifesaver.
341
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:05,114
[Goomer] Oh, there you are, Frank.
342
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,533
I got worried when I didn't
see anybody through the windows.
343
00:17:07,617 --> 00:17:12,080
We're making this my room,
slash love palace, slash recording studio.
344
00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:14,936
That's great.
You shoot for the stars, son.
345
00:17:14,937 --> 00:17:18,044
Never give up on your dreams.
Never give up.
346
00:17:21,130 --> 00:17:23,341
Four dudes in a basement,
you know it's a party.
347
00:17:23,424 --> 00:17:24,967
Come on down, Vic!
348
00:17:25,051 --> 00:17:28,262
Ooh, Canadian! Should I save
this for a special occasion?
349
00:17:28,346 --> 00:17:31,516
- Life's a special occasion, Babe.
- Aren't you gonna drink with us?
350
00:17:31,599 --> 00:17:35,353
No can do, fellas. I got a big meeting
with my new boss at the radio station.
351
00:17:35,436 --> 00:17:38,689
Got to keep my mind clear
and stay focused. [sniffs]
352
00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:41,818
- Jesus, Vic!
- Oh, this is much better than Jesus!
353
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:45,154
Are you listening
to forbidden jazz music?
354
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:47,907
- Hey, Mr. Hitlerburger!
- Sorry, it's a little cramped.
355
00:17:47,990 --> 00:17:51,160
This is a palace compared
to some basements I've lived in.
356
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,538
No way!
You had your own room too?
357
00:17:53,621 --> 00:17:56,124
I shared it with 14 others.
358
00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:58,292
Sounds like a non-stop party to me!
359
00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:03,548
Actually, we were all very quiet.
Most of the time.
360
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,093
Oh, I get it.
361
00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:11,681
It was one of those
"shut up and fuck" parties!
362
00:18:15,393 --> 00:18:19,564
All right, so I expect five
new product ideas from each of you
363
00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:21,107
by a week from Monday.
364
00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:24,444
Whoever comes up with the winner
gets a $10 bonus,
365
00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:27,488
or ten free minutes at that whorehouse
down by the quarry.
366
00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:31,951
Well, you thimble-dicked queers
don't stand a chance against me.
367
00:18:32,034 --> 00:18:33,786
- [laughter]
- Vivian!
368
00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:34,871
[Dana] Wait, wait.
369
00:18:34,954 --> 00:18:38,124
We can't close this meeting yet,
not till Sue weighs in.
370
00:18:38,207 --> 00:18:42,879
Sue, do you have any more thoughts you
want to fart out of your ears, sweetheart?
371
00:18:42,962 --> 00:18:44,338
[laughter]
372
00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:47,675
Uh-oh! Look what you did.
You made Sue upset.
373
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:49,051
Here we go again.
374
00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:51,262
Looks like I got another quitter
on my hands.
375
00:18:51,345 --> 00:18:54,932
[chanting] Don't cry! Don't cry!
Don't cry! Don't cry!
376
00:18:55,016 --> 00:18:58,936
Listen, I do have something
I'd like to say.
377
00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:01,856
You guys may think
you're the bee's knees.
378
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,026
But I feel sorry for you.
379
00:19:05,526 --> 00:19:10,907
Because you are all just a bunch
of ignorant, small-minded...
380
00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:16,824
cockpeople!
381
00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:22,919
Ohh!
[laughter]
382
00:19:23,002 --> 00:19:25,379
Sue Murphy!
"Cockpeople!"
383
00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:27,548
- I love it!
- [Tracy] Sue Murphy!
384
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:29,670
[Gene] She's a keeper!
385
00:19:55,826 --> 00:19:59,372
Not bad, Red. How do you want
your cut: money or weed?
386
00:19:59,455 --> 00:20:03,918
My mom says that weeds
are the desperados of the garden.
387
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:06,337
Kid, you're not gonna get laid
for a long time.
388
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:10,007
Let's see. This is for the paper,
this is for me,
389
00:20:10,091 --> 00:20:13,594
insurance, delivery fee,
twine fee, folding fee,
390
00:20:13,678 --> 00:20:15,805
annual dues, stadium tax.
391
00:20:15,888 --> 00:20:19,642
Here's your cut, $5.17.
392
00:20:21,936 --> 00:20:25,439
[Bill thinking] It's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
393
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:30,152
[man on TV] Of all the shoulders in all
of the world, you had to sit on mine
394
00:20:30,236 --> 00:20:33,906
the one day I get invited
to play golf with the boss.
395
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:36,492
I'm just trying to earn my wings.
396
00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:39,245
And you know brothers love wings!
397
00:20:40,288 --> 00:20:42,540
Ha-ha!
Yes, they do. It's true.
398
00:20:42,623 --> 00:20:43,916
- [Kevin] Hey, Mom!
- [Bill] Mom!
399
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,170
- [Frank] Sue!
- [Maureen] Mommie!
400
00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:47,336
- Hey.
- Mom, I got my first five bucks
401
00:20:47,337 --> 00:20:48,838
towards my hockey stick.
402
00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:51,841
I'm working on a new song.
It's got a minor chord in it.
403
00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:54,969
Mommy, a policeman came to talk
to Mr. Goomer today!
404
00:20:55,052 --> 00:20:57,722
What's going on here?
Why is everyone so happy?
405
00:20:57,805 --> 00:20:58,889
[Frank] We had a great day.
406
00:20:58,973 --> 00:21:02,935
I think I might've come up with a way
to solve the Bill and Kevin situation.
407
00:21:03,019 --> 00:21:05,563
[Kevin] We're turning the basement
into my private sanctuary.
408
00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:07,565
Wow, that would be a pretty big move.
409
00:21:07,648 --> 00:21:10,901
I had a rough day at work. I'm not
ready to discuss this right now.
410
00:21:10,985 --> 00:21:12,403
I'm gonna run a bath.
411
00:21:13,821 --> 00:21:16,394
You already threw stuff out of there?!
412
00:21:16,741 --> 00:21:18,200
I just got the ball rolling.
413
00:21:18,284 --> 00:21:20,745
I got me a toilet vest.
414
00:21:20,828 --> 00:21:24,415
I'm Daddy going to one
of his ghost meetings.
415
00:21:24,498 --> 00:21:28,794
- Shoo! Shoo! Get out!
- I can't see what we's running from!
416
00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:32,298
Were you even gonna run this by me?
417
00:21:32,381 --> 00:21:35,468
I wanted to see the look on your
face and... now I've seen it.
418
00:21:35,551 --> 00:21:39,472
How did you get all this work done
today anyway? Did you go to school?
419
00:21:39,555 --> 00:21:43,684
- Yeah, I did.
- Kevin. Tell me the truth.
420
00:21:43,768 --> 00:21:47,688
"A real man never lies."
No, I didn't go.
421
00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,065
Well, that's just great!
422
00:21:49,148 --> 00:21:52,026
And I suppose you didn't go
to the employment office?
423
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,868
Hell yes, I did!
And I resent the question!
424
00:22:01,827 --> 00:22:04,872
So you went?
You filed for unemployment?
425
00:22:04,955 --> 00:22:07,667
Of course I did!
I was there all morning!
426
00:22:07,750 --> 00:22:11,045
And I applied for jobs
that I am waiting to hear about!
427
00:22:11,128 --> 00:22:14,632
Then I come home, I discover
40 square feet we didn't know we had.
428
00:22:14,715 --> 00:22:16,550
And what thanks do I get?
429
00:22:16,634 --> 00:22:20,604
You give me the third degree
in front of my children.
430
00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:23,015
[Sue sighs]
431
00:22:23,808 --> 00:22:27,766
Oh, I'm sorry, Frank.
I had a hard day.
432
00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:29,980
Thank you for doing what you promised.
433
00:22:32,191 --> 00:22:34,360
Yeah, I said I was gonna do it,
and I did it.
434
00:22:34,443 --> 00:22:37,446
- That's what a real man does.
- Of course you did.
435
00:22:38,406 --> 00:22:40,574
You can learn something from your father.
436
00:22:41,409 --> 00:22:44,995
Oh, I learned something.
Liar!
437
00:22:46,330 --> 00:22:50,126
Real man, my ass.
Fucking dick! [door slams]
438
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,885
Honey, I'm sorry again for thinking you
didn't sign up at the employment office.
439
00:23:00,511 --> 00:23:03,097
I shouldn't have taken
my bad day out on you.
440
00:23:03,180 --> 00:23:06,392
Well, I think
I've done that once or twice.
441
00:23:07,017 --> 00:23:08,144
Good night!
442
00:23:08,227 --> 00:23:10,020
[sighs]
443
00:23:10,104 --> 00:23:14,275
- Frank, I hate my job.
- God, I miss that feeling.
444
00:23:14,358 --> 00:23:15,776
But I'm not going to quit.
445
00:23:15,860 --> 00:23:18,446
I'll do whatever it takes
to put bread on the table,
446
00:23:18,529 --> 00:23:21,157
- just like you did today.
- Ah. It was nothing.
447
00:23:21,866 --> 00:23:25,286
Sue, I'm a little tired.
I'm gonna turn in.
448
00:23:26,662 --> 00:23:29,039
[moans and sighs]
449
00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:31,208
I missed you today.
450
00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:34,795
I work with such animals.
451
00:23:36,130 --> 00:23:38,340
God, you're a real man.
452
00:23:38,924 --> 00:23:42,011
- A good man.
- Oh, I'm okay.
453
00:23:43,220 --> 00:23:45,556
Remember this morning,
what you wanted to do?
454
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,768
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, Frank.
455
00:23:48,851 --> 00:23:50,019
Oh, Frank!
456
00:23:50,978 --> 00:23:53,856
- Oh, God, Sue.
- Oh, oh, my God.
457
00:23:53,939 --> 00:23:56,692
Oh, you're such a good man.
Honest and good.
458
00:23:56,776 --> 00:23:59,487
Tell me you're my good man!
459
00:23:59,570 --> 00:24:02,031
- I'm okay.
- No, you're a good man!
460
00:24:02,114 --> 00:24:04,700
So dependable and trustworthy!
461
00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:07,620
A role model to your children!
462
00:24:07,703 --> 00:24:10,915
- You keep your promises!
- Talk about other stuff, Sue!
463
00:24:10,998 --> 00:24:13,751
Oh. Oh, no.
What's wrong, honey?
464
00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:15,753
Did I do something?
465
00:24:15,836 --> 00:24:19,840
No. It's not you. It's...
It's nothing. It's nothing.
466
00:24:19,924 --> 00:24:22,468
- Frank, what is it?
- I...
467
00:24:22,551 --> 00:24:24,887
I'm just tired.
Sorry.
468
00:24:28,224 --> 00:24:31,352
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah.
469
00:24:32,645 --> 00:24:34,745
[whispers] I fucking hate myself.
470
00:24:35,064 --> 00:24:38,651
[Kevin] # What happens
when the wizard lies? #
471
00:24:38,734 --> 00:24:42,196
? And the young apprentice cries? ?
472
00:24:46,033 --> 00:24:50,037
? And the evil wizard
lied for years ?
473
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,207
? And his bullshit took its toll ?
474
00:24:56,836 --> 00:24:58,879
Mr. Greenwood, my name's Frank Murphy.
475
00:24:58,963 --> 00:25:02,380
My friend, Rosie,
gave me your number and...
476
00:25:03,259 --> 00:25:04,969
I really need a job.
477
00:25:05,848 --> 00:25:08,303
I need one bad.
478
00:25:10,741 --> 00:25:15,145
? And the lie was
that his face was young ?
479
00:25:15,229 --> 00:25:19,608
? But it couldn't hide
his weathered soul ?
480
00:25:21,151 --> 00:25:23,946
You're the wizard, you dildo.
481
00:25:24,029 --> 00:25:27,074
And your spell over me is gone.
482
00:25:27,157 --> 00:25:29,702
Like a candle's flame.
483
00:25:33,497 --> 00:25:34,832
Well, you're all wired up, Kevin.
484
00:25:34,915 --> 00:25:36,000
[screams]
485
00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:38,043
I need privacy!
486
00:25:38,127 --> 00:25:40,880
[Babe] Yeah, this wiring
will last you a good long while.
487
00:25:40,963 --> 00:25:44,216
You could hook up a space heater
in here, maybe even a jukebox.
488
00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:46,594
Hey, that was nice of Vic bringing
those Canadian beers, wasn't it?
489
00:25:46,677 --> 00:25:49,388
Hey, does he ever invite you over
to go swimming? Boy, that'd be fun.
490
00:25:49,471 --> 00:25:51,348
- [Kevin] Shut up.
- Hey, next time you go over there,
491
00:25:51,432 --> 00:25:53,142
let me know, will ya?
I wouldn't have to swim.
492
00:25:53,225 --> 00:25:55,978
I could just sit there and watch.
Yeah, I wouldn't say a word.
493
00:25:56,061 --> 00:26:00,741
I'd just, you know, sip a beverage
or eat some pretzels... and be real still.
494
00:26:01,108 --> 00:26:05,112
Yeah, I'm good at that. When I was
in high school I got voted "Most Quiet."
495
00:26:05,195 --> 00:26:08,845
- [Kevin] Shut the fuck up!
- [Babe] Boy, those were the great days.
496
00:26:08,846 --> 00:26:10,576
I went to the old high school.
497
00:26:10,659 --> 00:26:13,337
That's where they house
the mentally deformed adults now.
498
00:26:14,038 --> 00:26:17,038
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499
00:26:17,088 --> 00:26:21,638
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