All language subtitles for black-ish.S07E20.WEBRip.x264-ION10.srt

When my parents
got back together,

I was certain
it would mean the end

of my relationship with Pops.

Yet, somehow,
our bond got stronger.

We started spending time
together in ways we never had,

really getting to understand

each other
as two grown Black men.

Most shocking
is that I actually trust

my Pops with my life.

He's a man I can go to
with anything.

Even things I wouldn't bring up
to my mom.

Your daddy says you can't sneeze
without leaking a little bit.

-What?
-This -- tighten it right up.

Oh...my... God.

My Pops is a snitch!

--Captions by VITAC--

Ford,
Built Ford Proud

I have a buddy who's
an excellent urologist.

I don't need
no damn urologist.

You're missing the
important part of the story.

I had a conversation
with my father --

an intimate conversation
about aging and manhood --

and he violated my trust.

Mm.
And also,

no way you have a buddy.

You're right.
He's just my urologist.

Dre, you've been avoiding it
your whole life,

but it's time to tape up your
fists and fight your father.

What?
I don't like the fact
that your pops is --

respectfully, Dre --
running his mouth.

-Mm.
-He knows some fairly intimate

details about me,
on account that we share

both a barber
and a chicken joint.

Nobody cares about your weird
little secrets, Charlie.

Mm...

I'm lucky it's just about
this stupid medication.

What if I was really going
-through something, huh?
-Mm-hmm.

What if I told him I was
thinking about leaving my wife?

Are you?

Of course not!
Oh.

But if I told
my stool pigeon father,

he would tell my mama, and
then my mama would tell Bow.

Then, all of a sudden,
I come home,

and all of Bow's things
are packed.

That is a violation.

Is it really, Dre?

Don't you tell your mother
everything?

I go to my mother
with emotional things.

And then I go to my father
with the man-to-man things.

I don't need
those two things mixing.

You made the foolish mistake
of trusting a man in love.

Never trust a man in love,
and you can trust me on that

'cause I've never,
ever been loved.

Dre, the bottom line --
You cannot tell your father

anything ever again.

We are finally
in a good place.

You know what?

I just need to talk
to him about keeping

the things we talk about
between us.

That being said,
I am working from home today.

Alright. Be safe.

I'm gonna work
from home today, too.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Charlie.
You know the rule.

Only one Black guy can be
out of the office at a time.

Just in case one of those kids
comes by trying to sell us

chocolates for his basketball team.

Follow me.

Ah.
Ta-da!

What?!

We decided to get
a brand-new car

because we have some
brand-newly permitted drivers!

Okay! She cute!

Where's Jack's?

Oh, no.

This car
is for both of you.

You guys shared a womb.

You can share a car.

-Okay, okay.
-Mm-hmm.

I can -- I can live with that,
'cause you know what?

-Mm?
-I smell freedom.

Ooh, I smell it, too.
Mm.

I feel the wind
flying through my braids.

Mm.
The percussion
of rubber meets road.

Mm.
Mm.

The erratic sounds
of the law at my heels.

Mm.

But they can't get me.

Mnh-mnh.
What --

-They'll never get me.
-Mnh-mnh.

-What are you talking about?
-Oh, nothing.

Come on, Jack.
Let's go check it out.

Can you believe
they're 15 already?

Feels like just yesterday
I was changing their diapers.

I don't think
you did that.

Hey, can I make
one little request?

Whatever you do...
Hmm?

...do not let Dad
teach them to drive.

What the hell
are you doing?!

I thought I had it!

Back up! Back up!

Don't back up!

Aah!

Those scars
will never heal.

I had no idea
how traumatized you were.

Why have you
never told me this?

I don't know. I guess it's just
some big American tradition

that everyone experiences,
you know?

Dad teaches kid to drive.

Dad traumatizes kid.

Kid eventually
learns to drive

without having
a panic attack.

Mnh, mnh, mnh.

Leave it to your father
to take a meaningful milestone

and turn it into an opportunity
to scar his children.

Why is it always the dad
that gets

to teach the kids
-to drive, huh?
-Mnh-mnh.

You know what?

Maybe I should teach
Jack and Diane to drive.

That is brilliant.
Hmm.

You are way kinder
and more patient than Dad.

Yes, I am. I am.

Hey, guys!

I am ending
the toxic tradition

of angry dads teaching
their kids to drive!

It's Mom's turn.

Wow, they will never know
the gift you've given them.

But I'll know.
Oh.

Oh, look at you being
all generous with the pour.

Mm-hmm.

Well,
what's on your mind, son?

I know you ain't
liquoring me up for nothin'.

Okay, Pops.

I just never thought
that this would happen.

What, you becoming
the kind of guy that wears,

uh, pants that stop
at his ankles?

No, Pops.
I'm talking about us...

getting to a place where we can
have man-to-man conversations.

But they come with
the understanding

that they stay "man-to-man."

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you telling
Mama about my leaky plumbing.

Pops, some things should stay
a secret, man.

Some things should stay
between us.

Yeah, you right, son.
Okay.

I guess I just got loose
with the mouth.

Say no more.

Really?
We -- We good?

Yeah, we good.

I'm really proud of you

that you came to me
like a man about this.

We have come
a long way, son.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Now, what we gonna do
about that?

Well... I got a really nice
bottle of scotch

that I've been hiding
in the garage.

I believe you have a half
a bottle hiding back there.

What?
You need to learn
to hide your liquor

like you don't want me
to find it.

Okay, I'll be back
with that half bottle.

Order restored.

I could trust
both my Moms and Pops

to keep my business
to themselves.

He said, "Some things need
to stay between us."

Mm-hmm.

I said, "Okay."

I'm gonna keep his trust 'cause
he was so embarrassed, Ruby.

You know, Dre doesn't do well
with embarrassment.
Mnh-mnh.

I found him in Junior's room
crying like a baby

when that boy moved out.
Mm.

He made me swear

I wouldn't tell a soul.

Et tu, Mama?

Judas!

Lady Judas!

There he goes.

Getting that
Kerry Washington lip.

Mmmm...

Ah.

This is unreal, Bow.

I caught my parents
gossiping about me.

This is not
how it's supposed to be!

Dre, we gossip about
our children all the time.

Our last text thread
was about Jack's mustache.

It's called parenting.

I don't need
to be parented, Bow.

I'm a grown-ass man.

Okay, well, I'm gonna
need you to get over it,

because I am taking
a MasterClass.

RuPaul is teaching me how to
make money from fracking.

Unh-unh. No.
What? Okay.

I will not get past this.

It's a violation.

I am sure that your parents

have been talking about you
like this your whole life.

Unh-unh. No.

They weren't, alright?

Growing up,
they hated each other.

I knew they would
never compare notes,

so I could share whatever
I wanted with my mom.

Now my mom is married to
my Pops, and I can't trust her.

She's probably just sharing
with her husband.

You don't get it.

My mother
is my confidant,

my rock, my counselor.

If I can't talk to her,
who can I talk to?

Who are you talking to
right now?

Okay, okay, okay.

Listen, you can't control
what your parents talk about.

The only thing
you have control over, Dre,

is what you tell them.

So I think it's time
you set

some boundaries
with your mother.

Give me your hand, sweetheart.
Come here.

I know this is hard.
I know.

You need to set some boundaries
-with your mom.
-Okay.

You need to set some
boundaries with your mother.

Okay, Bow, I heard you.

Yeah, I know. It just felt
really nice to say it again.

-You're right.
-I'm always right.

If I set some boundaries
with my mom, she'll get mad,

and then she'll realize
the consequences

of betraying my trust.

Yes!
No!

That is not what I said!
Yes!

Oh, it doesn't matter
what you said, Bow.

It's what I'm gonna do.

I think
you're still too mad.

Good point.

I'll talk to her tomorrow.

You need to know
that this

is not your father's
-driving school.
-Okay.

Is that why
you have a shirt

that says "Rainbow Johnson's
Driving School"?

Yes.

How'd you get that
so fast?

I've got a guy.

Alright.

Diane, as the driver,
what do you do to start?

Address mirrors.
Start engine.

Hands at 10:00 and 2:00.

One lap around.
Stay alert.

Then park safely next
to the strategically placed

safety trash cans.

Okay.
Girl, you ready.

Yes.

Okay, listen, you're gonna
make mistakes, alright?

You're gonna get frustrated,
but I am here to guide you.

Okay.
And, also,

we're gonna have
a little bit of fun.

'Cause this is your first time,
'cause...

Have you driven before?

Not that you can prove.

Okay.
Slow down.

So I set a boundary trap
for my mama

and waited for her
to take the cheese.

Oh. Damn.

Damn, damn.

What's wrong?

It's nothing.

Well, I can tell
it's not nothing,

'cause your brow
is all scrunched up

and you look like you ate
too many Dodger Dogs.

-What's wrong?
-Ah, you're right.

Nobody knows me like you,
Mama.

Something happened
at work today.

-It was exciting.
-Mm.

Yeah, and at the same time,
so scary.

It...

You know what, Mama?

Given where we are, I don't
think it's appropriate

for me to continue to discuss
personal matters with you.

Boy, why are you talking to me
like you HR at the Post Office

telling me
I can't read people's mail?

You're right.
What am I doing?

-You are my mama!
-Hello!

Stevens came to me with
a briefcase with a lock on it,

and then he opened it up, and
I saw what was inside, Mama,

and it --

Oh, my.
No.

I can't tell you, Mama.
I-I-I can't.

What was it?
What was it?

Was it --
-Was it -- Was it drugs?
-Mnh-mnh.

Money?
Mnh-mnh.

Drug money?
No.

Boy, if you can't tell me,
draw me a picture.

Ma, I can't.

Why the hell not?!

What's wrong with you?!

I am drawing a boundary
with you, Mama.

Boundary?

Mm.

Boundary? With me?

Who are
you gonna share with?

Who are you gonna talk
your struggles out with?

My wife.

Uh-huh.

She put you up to this?

No, Mama.

Bow could never come up
with an idea like this.

-Can't come up with no idea.
-Okay.

But...

I am going to need you
to respect my boundary.

Okay, baby.

Thank you.

If that's what you want.

God, I'm feeling so sick.

Black Jesus, help me.

-Mama, you okay?
-No, I'm feeling sick!

What's wrong?
What's wrong, Mama?

Just all of a sudden.

I'm gonna go lay down.
Okay.

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

Take me to the King!

I'm ready, Jesus!

It was tough,
but I had to teach my mom

there were consequences
to snitching.

Meanwhile, Bow was in the midst
of teaching our kids

something they needed
to survive.

You know,
I've done some thinking.

-Oh, my God.
-In today's climate,

I'm not sure if I need
to learn how to drive.

Okay, Jack.

You're serious?
I'm dead-ass.

You see these hands?

These were meant for texting
while someone else drives.

Okay, well,
driving is still

a very important skill
to learn, Jack.

Mm-hmm.
What if somebody
that you love gets hurt?

Call an ambulance.

Okay, what if you're
very hungry, and you --

Order delivery.

What if you want
a peaceful and scenic --

Walk.
It's better for my health.

And the environment.

Nicely done.
Mm-hmm.

Okay, but what if...someone,
a.k.a. me,

gives you $20 to park
this car in the garage?

Then what you gonna do?

-Then I get that money.
-Ye-- What?

Okay.

Are you gonna get in the car?

Mnh-mnh.

What's happening?

Oh.

-Boom.
-Wow.

Car parked.
Uh-huh.

-Pay up.
-Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I don't have $20 on me.

Andre Johnson.
Yeah?

What the hell
is wrong with you, boy?

Look what you've done
to your mama.

I had to triple up
on my iron pills

just to get through
the afternoon.

You see what you've done?

Now you are going
to open your heart

and tell your mother
all your secrets.

I am not about to apologize
to you two

for setting up a boundary.

Yeah, when the two of you
won't apologize to me

for talking about me
behind my back.

So boom, boundary.

Now, you listen to me.

Are you really willing
to throw away how close we are

just because he and I
are together now?

We're just talking
a little bit.

Mama.

For the longest time,
it was just me and you,

and I would tell you things.

-Delicate things.
-Yeah.

And you would share with me
all about the mess,

about the raggedy stuff
that Pops would do.

Now we can't do that.

Hey.
You two been talking about me?

Eh, what she been telling you,
son?

I know you didn't pay
for my books in college.

Ruby.

Can't believe you.

That was supposed to be
between me and you.

Well, he's my son!

Oh, well,
he's my son, too.

How would you feel
if I told him the only reason

that you missed
his 45th birthday party

was to get a thigh lift?

-Ooh.
-What?

I swear to God, Earl,
if you want to play like that,

I got something
for that ass!

Oh, what you got,
little loose-mouth snitch?

Okay, guys, maybe you're taking
it a little bit too far.

-Can we just calm down?
-Okay, okay, okay.

What if I told him
that the only reason

you came to
his middle school graduation

was to get at that
donkey-bootied crossing guard?

Miss Freeman?

I can't believe you, Ruby.

Well, believe it, Negro!

What do you do when
you've started a mega-fight

between your parents, who have
a history of petty violence?

-Ain't nothing wrong with me!
-I thought we was...

You back out and run away.

-We back together. We fine.
-No, you think...

Dre?
Yeah?

Hey, it's after 9:00.

I don't hear Barry White coming
from the guest apartment.

Mm.
Your parents okay?

I think I may have started
the biggest fight between them

since they've gotten
back together.

And by "may have"...

that's what I did.

Oh.

Well, I guess it's good
we didn't get rid

of the arson insurance
on the house.

Mm.

But I don't understand.

Were you trying
to break them up?

It's not that.

It's just that my parents
being together,

I feel like
I have no secrets.

Mm.

You know, my relationship
with my mom

and my relationship
with my dad are now one.

It's two against one.

And with them together...

they've seen all my mess.

Are you seriously laughing
at this?

I'm sorry.

Dre, what you're
describing is --

is a normal
close-knit family.

Nah.
Sweetheart, it's normal.

It's normal to have everybody
in your business.

Mm.

And it's normal
for it to get uncomfortable.

It's a small price to pay
for having parents

that truly see
the big picture of you.

Hm. I'm starting to see
their big picture, too,

whether I like it or not.

-They have very full lives.
-Yeah.

And, you know,
when they're not having sex

with the window open...
Mm.

-...they're talking about you.
-Mm-hmm.

Because they love you.

I don't think it's worth
giving up that relationship

over this, Dre.

Maybe you're right.

I'll go talk to them.

Just...knock first.

Like, loudly.

Oh, hey!

Jack, okay,
so it is a new day...

Yes....and I was thinking,

what if
we have a driving lesson,

but after...

Mm-hmm....I buy you...

your own...

brand-new car?

Huh?

No, thank you.
I'm good.

Only thing I'm planning on doing
today is drinking this Ensure.

It's good for active seniors,

but I think it should be good
for active freshmen, too.

Oof. Bottoms up.

Bottoms up? What?

I don't get it.

-Perplexed.
-For as long as I can remember,

it's been Jack's dream

to drive to the Grand Canyon
so he could pee in it.

And now he's turning down
a brand-new car?

Why is he throwing
his dreams away?

Have you ever considered
the possibility

that Jack is a weirdo?

I'm serious.

Learning to drive
is a rite of passage.

I am offering my son
the keys to freedom,

and he's throwing them
back in my face.

Well, you know,
that freedom is exciting,

but at the same time,
it is really scary.

I remember everybody telling me
how much I was gonna love

the freedom of college,
but when I got there,

I was actually
super-overwhelmed.

You know, some people
just aren't ready

for the rites of passage when
you think they should be.

You're right.
What do I do?

If you were Dad,
you would drive him

out into the middle
of the desert

and then fake a heart attack
and then force him

to drive you all the way home,
and then when you got there,

you would say, "See?
I told you.

I knew you could drive.
Why are you crying?

Let's go get
some chili cheese fries.

Huh?"

Did your dad do that
to you?

All I'm saying is
that whatever you do,

I know you will handle it
better than Dad.

Well, that's a given.

Obviously.

Well, you guys
seem to have calmed down.

We've officially moved into

the silent treatment portion
of the evening.

New tactics you learn
once you're married.

Mm.
Look, this is all my fault.

You guys
would not be fighting

if I wasn't trying
to protect myself

from what's ultimately
a good thing --

us being close.

Well, I appreciate
your apology...

but I've got to own
some of it.

I never should have shared
all that mess

about your Pops
when you were growing up.

Now, it made us close, but
I should have had a...

boun...

Go ahead, baby.
You can say it.

Boundary.
Mm.

Mm!

I appreciate that, Mama.

The thing you gotta
understand is, son,

your mama and I restarted our
friendship talking about...you.

That's right.

And I love talking to my husband
about my kids,

and you ain't gonna take that
away from me, Dre.

So we'll just exercise

a little bit more discretion
from here on in.

No more talking about the times
-when you boo-booed on yourself.
-Mm.

Hmm. Thanks.

Hey, so, uh...

what do y'all say
about Rhonda?

Ooh, child.
Mm...

Ha-hey!

You got somewhere to be
after this?

Look here.
Let me fix you a drink.

Okay.

Now, your sister... Mm-hmm.

...used to be involved with
something called VEXXEUS.

-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-The sex cult?

It's also a Ponzi scheme.

Yeah.

So, Jack wasn't ready to drive,
but he still wanted to stunt.

What it do, shorty?
You like all-wheel drive?

Hey, what's up, girl?

Whata gwan, fine gyal?
'Sup?

You going to the In-N-Out
on Lankershim?

Funny.
Me too.

Oh, what's that?

Do I share this car
with my sister?

Hell no.

I got the pink slip
in the glove, baby.

Hey, your friends want a ride?

I've got room for all of them.

Oh. Sorry.

Your brother's
gonna have to walk.

Oh. Oh, yeah.
I-I know I look good in --

And...blackmail!

When will I learn?