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1
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:46,101
I mean, sure,
watching a head explode is cool.
2
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,226
But the real pros aim for the spine.
3
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:49,768
That's what holds
everything together, you know.
4
00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:51,268
You shoot out that cord,
5
00:00:51,292 --> 00:00:52,726
it's like cutting
the strings to a marionette.
6
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:54,601
The body just goes whoomp, limp.
7
00:00:55,501 --> 00:00:57,184
Okay, come on.
What are we doing here?
8
00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:58,601
Let's get your furry little head
out of the clouds
9
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,226
and let's go figure out
who hired Kato.
10
00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:04,518
Oh, you don't want to kill anymore?
11
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,477
Okay, well, that's fine.
12
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:07,309
We'll call it a day on this
whole "revenge plot"
13
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:09,268
and open up
a pizzeria, right?
14
00:01:09,292 --> 00:01:10,851
- Huh? I'm joking.
- Hmm?
15
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:12,476
Of course we're not going
to stop killing people.
16
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,726
That's the whole point of this...
17
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:16,351
Um, okay.
18
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,476
So that's it, you're done?
Alright, fine.
19
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,809
Well, then give me back
my sunglasses.
20
00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,726
Those are cool guy shades
21
00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,309
and you are no longer a cool guy,
22
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,269
so you don't get
to wear 'em anymore.
23
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,893
Hey, keep it down up there.
24
00:01:27,917 --> 00:01:29,726
People are trying to pray.
25
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,476
Who's this clown?
26
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,309
Eh, keep walking, Mr. Clean.
27
00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:38,184
- Tch, tch, tch, tch.
I do not ask that you apologize.
28
00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:41,101
I ask that you respect the shrine.
29
00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:43,375
Huh?
30
00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:47,393
It is true. I am fluent
in the tongue of monkey.
31
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,018
I wouldn't get too excited.
32
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,351
This guy's wandering around in pajamas
with those weird cue ball eyes.
33
00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:54,184
Clearly he's deranged.
34
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,476
Well, at least I'm not dead.
35
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,893
Hey, asshole, we're kind of
in the middle of something here,
36
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,518
so maybe you should just go on
and play dress up
37
00:02:00,542 --> 00:02:01,519
with your friends over there and...
38
00:02:01,543 --> 00:02:03,851
Holy shit!
Wait, can you hear me?
39
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,351
Dude! What a relief.
40
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,893
I have been jibber-jabbering
with this dumb-ass monkey
41
00:02:07,917 --> 00:02:09,226
for two weeks now!
42
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:11,976
Whoa!
43
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:23,143
Fate in her infinite wisdom
44
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:25,601
has tethered you together
for a reason.
45
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:27,101
Yeah, to take out
the pieces of shit
46
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:28,893
who killed me
and his monkey crew.
47
00:02:28,917 --> 00:02:31,434
We're supposed to be
on this revenge-quest together.
48
00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:32,934
But I swear to God,
I feel like I'm over here
49
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:34,226
doing all the killing by myself.
50
00:02:35,001 --> 00:02:37,184
When I was a young...
51
00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:38,684
What are you talking about?
52
00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:41,434
I watched you mow down
20 badass commandos
53
00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:43,184
like it was a game of Contra.
54
00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:45,226
As I was saying, the sacred texts...
55
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,643
You are cut out for this.
56
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,518
Feelings are for suckers. Okay?
57
00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:51,601
I'm the brain.
You're the muscle.
58
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:54,208
You need to nut up and do your job...
Listen!
59
00:02:54,792 --> 00:02:56,708
Silence! Both of you.
60
00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,768
How can you listen
to each other
61
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:02,292
when you won't even listen
to yourselves?
62
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,333
You are lost.
63
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,643
But if you allow it,
64
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:09,542
your journey will guide you
to the truth.
65
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,393
Your path may be rocky,
but in time,
66
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:17,351
you will come to develop
the calluses necessary
67
00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:19,083
to keep moving forward
68
00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:21,768
and fulfill your destiny.
69
00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:25,726
- Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's gonna get some blisters.
70
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:26,976
What about me?
What do I get?
71
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,708
A barren field...
72
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,059
where nothing can grow
73
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:33,542
until you find the seed of evil
74
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,833
and rip it from the soil.
75
00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:39,917
Only then shall you ascend.
76
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,292
Are you kidding me?
77
00:03:41,708 --> 00:03:43,518
Of course he was saying
I'm in charge!
78
00:03:43,542 --> 00:03:45,309
I'm the one that needs
to find the evil seed
79
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,768
so I can blow
this pop stand.
80
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,893
No, no, no. How can we be
on separate paths
81
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,083
when we're stuck together?
82
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,351
We're going the same place.
And I'm leading the way.
83
00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,809
Man, I've been killing people
for over 20 years.
84
00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:02,268
You've been doing it, what?
For 20 minutes?
85
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,601
So who makes the most sense
to be in charge, huh?
86
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,518
Nope, wrong again.
87
00:04:08,542 --> 00:04:10,768
Not the one with the body.
The one with the brain. That's me.
88
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:14,518
The same brain that wisely told you
to grab Kato's wallet at the funeral.
89
00:04:15,459 --> 00:04:18,351
It's wise because we can use
his driver's license
90
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:20,226
to get his address.
91
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,684
Ta-da.
92
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,226
Oh, uh...
93
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,934
Okay, well, you know how you piss
on everything to mark your territory?
94
00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:28,333
An address is like
the human version of that.
95
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,167
There's a goddamn
shit storm raining down on me.
96
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:35,476
Which means it's now
raining down on you.
97
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,893
We've got old ladies
getting sawed in half,
98
00:04:37,917 --> 00:04:39,434
dead politicians,
99
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:42,542
and a Yakuza gang war
spilling out onto the streets.
100
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:45,726
We should tell them
about the monkey, Ito-keiji.
101
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,226
There's nothing to tell.
102
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,434
The fur. The surveillance video.
103
00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:51,143
- We have evidence.
- Mmm.
104
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:53,934
We're detectives, and our job is
to follow the evidence
105
00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,559
wherever it leads us, right?
106
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:56,809
Mmm.
107
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:58,184
Back home, I worked a case
108
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:01,167
where sweet potatoes kept disappearing
from Mr. Yamaguchi's farm.
109
00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:06,351
Anyway, animals are capable
of committing crimes, too.
110
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:09,226
I don't understand. Why can't we
just tell them our theory?
111
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,434
You mean our theory
that a monkey in a suit
112
00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:13,643
is running around town
killing gangsters?
113
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:16,518
Hey, I know you like to blabber
when you're drunk,
114
00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,601
but the rest of us are trying
to pay attention.
115
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:21,226
Turn around
before I grab that ponytail
116
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:22,726
and shove it up
your partner's ass.
117
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:25,351
- You know what?
You're a dick, Ito.
118
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:28,976
Now does anyone have any actual leads
that we can follow up on?
119
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:34,559
Don't. Haruka, please. D-don't!
120
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,792
Yes, Haruka.
121
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,167
Ah, Jesus.
122
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:54,768
Who says having a little toddler bod
doesn't have its advantages,
123
00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:56,226
am I right?
124
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:58,893
Whoa. Looks like the General
was losing his battle with debt.
125
00:06:00,583 --> 00:06:01,917
You know, because of the bills?
126
00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:03,893
Because he owes money?
127
00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:06,000
Honestly, I feel like
these are wasted on you.
128
00:06:08,292 --> 00:06:10,393
No! Monkey, no!
129
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,309
Hey, I'm sure
the kid's better off without him.
130
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,500
I never knew my dad
and look at me, I turned out great.
131
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,476
Oh no, it's no...
132
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,750
- Oh shit.
We got company.
133
00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:22,601
Hey, Captain Big Heart,
134
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:24,226
they're coming
this way, alright?
135
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,601
Time to hide. Let's go!
136
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,476
You don't even know
if that's his kid.
137
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,768
Probably just some child soldier
he was prepping for battle.
138
00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:32,809
Why do we always get
the clean-up jobs?
139
00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:36,059
I didn't join the Yak' to sweep floors
like some stupid-ass maid.
140
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,809
Would you quit with the job-shaming?
141
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,934
My aunt was a maid.
She worked really hard.
142
00:06:39,958 --> 00:06:41,934
- We get it.
You're the conflicted killer.
143
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:43,518
Super original.
But seriously,
144
00:06:43,542 --> 00:06:45,000
save it for Oprah.
145
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:48,393
It's easy. Just point and shoot
till the bad guys go bye-bye.
146
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:50,184
It just feels like
we're their errand boys. You know,
147
00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:53,559
I spent all morning driving
around trying to find a stupid blowfish...
148
00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,625
- Hey, shut up.
You hear that?
149
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:01,643
Probably just a rat.
150
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,750
- This place is a shithole!
- Right?
151
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,934
The guy doesn't even have
a 4K TV.
152
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:09,601
Ho ho ho ho, look at this!
153
00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:12,268
- Hey, put that back.
We're not here to steal.
154
00:07:12,292 --> 00:07:13,476
We're here to scrub.
155
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,643
No way. Teppei said
if I find something cool, I can have it.
156
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,684
Yeah, well, Teppei is a moron.
157
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:20,976
And Keppei said don't listen
to anything his brother says.
158
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,934
Keppei and Teppei? Who are they,
the Japanese Hall & Oates?
159
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,684
Who the hell are you?
160
00:07:25,708 --> 00:07:27,684
Look at our uniforms, asshole.
161
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:28,934
We're military police.
162
00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:30,809
So why don't you put down
the katana
163
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:32,976
and slither on outta here?
164
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,059
Oh, you like snakes?
165
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:36,559
Oh yeah, show, show!
166
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,018
How you like them rattlers?
167
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,309
Put your blouse back on.
168
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,351
We know all about
the General's gambling problem.
169
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,476
And the Yakuza leeches
who feed off of it.
170
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:47,393
The public is not,
and we're gonna keep it that way.
171
00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:50,726
Oh, oh, oh, I see. Okay,
Kato owed Keppei and Teppei money.
172
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,434
That's probably how they roped him
into killing me.
173
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,601
This is the last time
I'm gonna warn you.
174
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,268
Put down the sword and beat it.
175
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,726
Or what?
176
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,684
Or this, asshole.
177
00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:01,477
Hey, hey, hey!
178
00:08:01,501 --> 00:08:03,417
- You two!
Down on the ground! Now!
179
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,893
- Oh ho ho. Look at this.
This is awesome.
180
00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:07,101
Now drop the sword.
181
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:09,351
How do you know
this ain't my sword, lady?
182
00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:11,768
Just because I'm Yakuza,
you assume I must be a thief.
183
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,184
Look, kid, the General's sword
doesn't belong
184
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,643
in your sad-ass bingo hall.
185
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,684
Well, too bad,
'cause we're taking it.
186
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:21,018
This blade is now property
of the Double Dragon Casino.
187
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,184
Okay, here's the 411.
188
00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:24,018
There's a gun pointed
at a scrawny dude
189
00:08:24,042 --> 00:08:25,643
right on the other side
of this door,
190
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,101
and shit's about
to go sideways.
191
00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:29,375
So we need cover.
And by we, I mean you.
192
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,458
Oh! The helmet!
Here! Put it on!
193
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,184
- Put it down!
- Drop the sword.
194
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,268
- Put it down, lady.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
195
00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:35,612
Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?
196
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,750
Shit!
197
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:42,042
God damnit!
198
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:46,351
Whoa. Ha ha!
199
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,476
This is awesome!
200
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:53,667
Yuski! No!
201
00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,393
Shit! You're gonna die!
202
00:08:58,417 --> 00:08:59,500
Asshole!
203
00:09:03,958 --> 00:09:06,726
Okay, I just got shot,
like, 47 times.
204
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,809
Oh, God, how are you?
205
00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,458
Oh boy. Look at that.
206
00:09:14,834 --> 00:09:17,143
Oh Lord, looks like
Jackson Pollock was painting
207
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,643
with blood in here,
am I right?
208
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,101
Technically, this is all your fault,
209
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:21,643
but I'm willing to look
the other way.
210
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,309
Now grab the sword.
That thing's rad.
211
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:27,934
Fine, but you need
to get your shit together.
212
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,893
'Cause if I were a gambling man,
I'd wager that the Double Dragon Casino
213
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:32,809
is where we're gonna find
Keppei and Teppei.
214
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,934
Also, I am very much
a gambling man.
215
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,476
What's a casino?
Are you kidding me?
216
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,768
It's like, um,
217
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:42,708
if the happiest place on Earth had
a baby with the saddest place.
218
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:50,375
Corruption grows in secret.
219
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:53,268
It thrives in darkness.
220
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:57,601
My mentor, Ken Takahara,
made fighting corruption his life's work.
221
00:09:57,625 --> 00:10:01,143
And that's why
it will be the central issue
222
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,102
of my campaign.
223
00:10:02,126 --> 00:10:05,643
And you think one man
can take on this enormous task?
224
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:09,309
Well, I raised my niece
all by myself,
225
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:12,184
so I feel like I'm ready
for anything.
226
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,934
Okay, time to go.
227
00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,809
Now, if you'll excuse me,
228
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,101
the business of government
is calling.
229
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,601
Let's work on the ad-libs.
230
00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:24,601
Come on, they loved it.
231
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,768
Speaking of which,
232
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,184
latest Nikkei poll has you
trailing Ozu by five points.
233
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:30,518
But when asked
who voters trust more,
234
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,559
you're leading by fifteen.
235
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:35,167
You little trust-fund commie.
236
00:10:36,542 --> 00:10:38,518
You lied to me.
237
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:42,226
You looked me in the eye,
shook my hand,
238
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,101
and stabbed me
in the back.
239
00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:45,309
Hey, hey.
240
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:48,893
None of us could have predicted
that a eulogy could spark...
241
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:49,934
Cut the shit.
242
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:53,101
People were grieving.
You took advantage of their emotions.
243
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:54,518
Oh, give me a break.
244
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:57,518
You built your entire campaign
on manipulating peoples' emotions.
245
00:10:57,542 --> 00:10:58,833
Alright, sweetie.
246
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:01,292
See you on the campaign trail.
247
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:03,726
Oh, Shinji-san.
248
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,434
That's a nice suit.
249
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:08,184
You should try it with a vest.
250
00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:25,601
Oh boy. It is like
a goddamn security convention in there.
251
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:27,393
Which is, by the way, totally your fault.
252
00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:30,601
Maybe next time, try not to start
a gang war your first day in town.
253
00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:32,809
Alright, okay,
254
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,393
let's save the rage
for the targets.
255
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:36,809
Now, look, I've taken out
a few casino bosses in my day,
256
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,726
and in my experience
they're usually holed up
257
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,726
in some back office
counting their cash.
258
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,351
That's most likely where
we'll find Keppei and Teppei.
259
00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:45,684
Jesus, I can't keep saying
those names.
260
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:48,101
It's like we're going up against
a couple of Dr. Seuss characters.
261
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,434
From now on, can we only kill people
with cool names?
262
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,000
Hey, hey, hey. Keep your
furry little chin up, okay?
263
00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:56,976
That's right. We're going
to have to kill some evil shits
264
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,643
that totally deserve to die.
265
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,726
And you're the one
that's gonna do it!
266
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,059
'Cause it's your destiny!
267
00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,208
Now shut up and let's go!
268
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:10,393
Can you crawl any slower?
269
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,018
Yeah, I know it was my idea.
270
00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:15,101
But that's 'cause I figured
my fear of cramped spaces
271
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,476
would have disappeared
after my death.
272
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,559
Evidently, I was wrong.
273
00:12:18,418 --> 00:12:20,393
Dude. Go! It's not funny.
274
00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:22,226
I'm, like,
hyperventilating back here.
275
00:12:23,001 --> 00:12:25,393
Now remember,
we are doing this ninja-style.
276
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:26,893
Sneak into the office
through the vents.
277
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:28,809
Snap their necks
nice and quietly, then...
278
00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:29,833
Oh!
279
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,434
Where'd you go?
280
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,434
Here comes a 4K TV!
281
00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:36,018
What was that?
282
00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:39,958
Holy shit.
It's a monkey in a tiny suit.
283
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,625
Huh?
284
00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,833
Okay, I think
they may have spotted you.
285
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,083
Hey, what is that?
286
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,101
Out of the way.
287
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,476
Come here, you. Hey!
288
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,268
Hey!
289
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:57,143
It's a... it's a dancing monkey!
290
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:00,042
Dancing monkey.
291
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,351
No, no, no, no.
292
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:04,726
Don't go all Pesci on them.
293
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,184
You do that
and you're going to end up
294
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,684
with more holes
than a donut shop.
295
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:10,268
Now look at me.
Do what I'm doing. Do this!
296
00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:12,059
I know you're probably not in the mood,
but I need you to dance
297
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,000
like nobody's watching
or you're dead.
298
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:21,184
There you go.
There you go. That's it.
299
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:23,309
There. Yeah.
Now get your hips going.
300
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,768
- There.
- He's dancing!
301
00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:26,226
Oh my god,
302
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,625
this is crazy!
303
00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:29,351
Drink it. Drink it.
304
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,476
You need to do whatever it takes
to keep these guys entertained
305
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:32,934
while I come up
with a new plan.
306
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,268
- Huh?
- Not bad, huh?
307
00:13:38,292 --> 00:13:40,812
Makes you want to focus
your entire life on getting more, right?
308
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:48,458
More whiskey.
309
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,143
Whoa-ho-ho, hey, you actually got
a pretty good hand here.
310
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,476
- You should play.
- Hmm?
311
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,601
Come on, man. You got trip kings.
312
00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:02,184
Okay, look, when you've got two
or more of the same cards, that's good.
313
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,434
So just take all those chips
314
00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:05,143
and just push them
right into the center of the table.
315
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:06,167
Come on.
316
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,640
All right, good,
now show them your cards.
317
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,934
No, no, no, don't be
a dick about it, okay.
318
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,059
Just lay them on the table.
319
00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:16,226
What?
320
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:18,101
Ahh, he won!
321
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:21,351
- Yeah! We won! Woo!
Pay up, suckers!
322
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:24,018
Pay me! Pay... my... monkey.
Pay the monkey!
323
00:14:24,042 --> 00:14:25,393
Little bitches. Yeah!
324
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,726
Well, well, well. If it isn't
the double-mint douches.
325
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:42,893
Must be Keppei and Teppei.
326
00:14:42,917 --> 00:14:45,059
What the hell are you doing?
327
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,875
We found them
at the General's place.
328
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,518
Along with this
kick-ass sword.
329
00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:51,143
Goddamn morons.
330
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:54,018
It was a clean-up job,
not an estate sale.
331
00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:56,476
Get those bodies
out of the casino.
332
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,893
Yeah. Yeah, okay, boss.
333
00:14:58,793 --> 00:15:00,184
Oh, no. Not you.
334
00:15:00,208 --> 00:15:02,476
- Wha...
- You're coming with us.
335
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,684
Okay, new plan.
336
00:15:06,708 --> 00:15:08,226
Our targets are
in the high-rollers room.
337
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,809
So we're gonna have
to win our way up there.
338
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,643
How can I be so sure
we're going to win?
339
00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:14,101
Because this moment
340
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:16,851
is the only non-sexual fantasy
I have ever had.
341
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:23,750
Ho ho ho, oh yeah!
342
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,042
- Oh. Oh no.
- God!
343
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:29,292
Loser.
344
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:31,226
Loser. Shit, time to fold.
345
00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:40,208
Ugh, how's he do it?
346
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,208
Bet it all, baby!
347
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:45,518
Another drink for the monkey!
348
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:49,917
Gah!
349
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,101
Hey, that must be
the twins' office.
350
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,726
Okay, all we have to do is
take out the...
351
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,685
Hey!
352
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:37,684
Yo, Monkey.
Mission's this way, buddy.
353
00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:39,101
Dude. You're a mess.
354
00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:41,476
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
355
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,559
Whoa, calm down!
356
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:46,143
Is this my opponent,
357
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:48,226
an alcoholic monkey?
358
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,393
Candy from a baby!
359
00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:55,643
Just... No, ignore him.
360
00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:57,893
Okay? We got bigger fish
to shoot in the face. Come on.
361
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,143
Aw, goddamn it.
362
00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:05,083
This is gonna be my lucky day.
363
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,934
Okay, man, you taught him
a lesson, alright?
364
00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:25,851
But I promise you,
this is not the kind of guy
365
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,226
you want to keep
taking money from.
366
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,226
Whoa, I'm cutting you off.
367
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,018
Getting drunk is something we do
after hits, not during.
368
00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:36,684
Okay, you know what, hey, fine.
369
00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:38,226
You wanna sabotage
the mission? Go ahead.
370
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,059
But I know what this is, man,
classic avoidance.
371
00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:42,934
You don't wanna do the hit.
You're stalling.
372
00:18:09,417 --> 00:18:12,059
- Alright, monkey.
Play time's over.
373
00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:14,351
For the last time,
do not clean him out.
374
00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:17,625
I promise you, he is not gonna
let you walk away with his money.
375
00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:25,958
Sorry, Charlie. Full house.
376
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,851
What?
377
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,792
Aah! Son of a bitch!
378
00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:44,434
Aw, man. All you had
to do was lose at poker.
379
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,684
That's so easy.
I do it all the time!
380
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:50,018
Now they're going to take you out back
and put a bullet behind your ear.
381
00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:53,500
But, hey, now you don't have
to kill anymore, right?
382
00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:57,059
Ugh! Teppei.
383
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:58,934
You had to stab him?
384
00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:01,934
You couldn't wait 30 seconds for me
to come back with the blowfish?
385
00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,768
Ugh. What is with you
and the blowfish?
386
00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:07,601
What? It's a cool-ass way
to kill someone!
387
00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:11,268
Paralysis. Respiratory failure.
Diarrhea.
388
00:19:11,292 --> 00:19:12,958
What?
389
00:19:13,792 --> 00:19:16,851
Are you two dipshits
running a casino
390
00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,351
or a zoo?
391
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,893
Uhhh. A casino?
392
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:22,851
Relax. It's just a gimmick.
393
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:24,184
Like a mascot.
394
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:28,726
Oh yeah? This gimmick just took me
for over six million yen.
395
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,059
And I want it back. Now!
396
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,726
Listen, old man, you can't talk
to us like that anymore.
397
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,268
We're a big deal now.
398
00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:36,958
Running this shit ourselves.
399
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:45,268
That walking wet cough
was their mother?
400
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,893
Oh my God... No, no, no, no.
Don't you dare get sad about this.
401
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:49,476
This is how evil spreads.
402
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,934
Their mom hired me to kill Takahara.
403
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,851
Then had her idiot sons
enlist Kato to kill me.
404
00:19:54,875 --> 00:19:57,059
She deserved to die and so do her kids.
405
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:58,768
Boys, boys.
406
00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:00,809
If you're not gonna refund my money,
407
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,143
the least you could do
is kill this monkey.
408
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,309
Oh, hell yeah!
409
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,893
That we can do.
410
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,934
Mm-mm. No way.
411
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:13,250
You got one.
I get one.
412
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:18,167
Agh, fine. Just make sure
you prepare it wrong.
413
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,559
Trust me. I don't know
what I'm doing.
414
00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:24,101
Okay, keep your cool,
don't panic.
415
00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,143
Nobody's gonna panic, okay.
All we gotta do is find something
416
00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:27,434
to undo your cuffs.
417
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,458
Ta-da!
418
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,643
Dinner is served.
419
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:34,394
I-I got nothing.
420
00:20:34,418 --> 00:20:36,018
You gotta summon
that berserker rage of yours
421
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:38,018
and bust out of those cuffs
or we're done here.
422
00:20:38,042 --> 00:20:41,167
Okay, monkey. Open wide.
423
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:45,101
What are you doing?
424
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,476
Are you really going
to die because you're too...
425
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,042
Okay. Okay, look!
Look, look, look! I was wrong.
426
00:20:49,542 --> 00:20:51,268
Killing is not easy.
427
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,601
It's not just point, shoot,
and watch the bad guy go bye-bye.
428
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:56,351
It's watch you go bye-bye.
429
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,768
Because every time
you kill someone,
430
00:20:57,792 --> 00:20:59,708
a little bit of you dies too.
431
00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,000
And it sucks.
It sucks balls.
432
00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:05,893
U-until you're just
too numb to care anymore.
433
00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:09,309
But, but, if you're lucky,
you let it continue to suck.
434
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:11,309
And you'll never grow numb.
435
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,643
There you go, that's the truth.
436
00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:13,875
You happy?
437
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,184
Oh, that's real mature.
438
00:21:20,208 --> 00:21:22,268
You know, I-I pour my soul
out to you and you...
439
00:21:22,292 --> 00:21:23,601
Wait, wait, wait! Holy shit!
440
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:24,893
You-you're a monkey.
441
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,083
With, uh, weird feet hands
that no one bothered to cuff.
442
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:39,292
Goddamn monkey...
443
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:55,059
No. No!
444
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:57,042
I don't want to die!
Help me!
445
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,684
Oh, goddamn!
446
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:08,101
Oh. Nice. Nice.
447
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:10,083
Get rid of it.
Get rid of it.
448
00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:12,708
There you go.
449
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,726
So I'm thinking there's no way
Takahara's assassination
450
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,851
was orchestrated
by these two nutsacks.
451
00:22:17,875 --> 00:22:19,075
Gotta to be people above them.
452
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,476
And the best way to the heart
of any criminal plot
453
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,976
is to follow the money.
454
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,393
So grab this, and we'll study it
over a celebratory drink.
455
00:22:28,292 --> 00:22:30,934
Right after we shoot
our way out of here.
456
00:22:38,375 --> 00:22:39,375
Wait, hold on.
457
00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:41,434
Was that intentional?
458
00:22:41,458 --> 00:22:43,893
Uh, you know, going overboard
with the booze and the gambling.
459
00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:46,018
Was it, like, all a clever plan
just to get us
460
00:22:46,042 --> 00:22:47,875
in the twins' office
or dumb luck?
461
00:22:48,542 --> 00:22:51,226
It was luck, wasn't it?
No, I mean it had to have been.
462
00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:52,518
Right?
463
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,684
Oh, look at that, there's my job!
464
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,934
500K to "X" K. T.
465
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,601
That's gotta be Ken Takahara, right?
And wait, wait.
466
00:22:58,625 --> 00:23:02,434
Um, these jobs were all paid
by someone called The Accountant.
467
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,958
Oh! Oh!
It's an address.
468
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:08,333
Sugano 2-2-7.
Number 9621.
469
00:23:08,917 --> 00:23:10,851
Well, this should be
a cakewalk.
470
00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:12,417
Here's your next lesson:
471
00:23:12,917 --> 00:23:15,208
Money men are always
the easiest targets.
472
00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:16,875
Ha.
473
00:23:17,292 --> 00:23:18,333
Trust me.
34945
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