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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:27,630 Beautiful day. 2 00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:31,720 Clean, fresh, everything seems right. 3 00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,900 Wish we didn't have to work today. 4 00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:43,210 Don't see why somebody doesn't fix those sprinklers. 5 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,820 Ah, come on, Jon. A few drops of water? 6 00:00:46,870 --> 00:00:48,220 Don't blow your top. 7 00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:50,260 I didn't blow my top! It's.. 8 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:08,800 Ahem. 9 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,770 Alright, I blew my top. 10 00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:22,560 I'm sorry, alright? 11 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,900 It's usually you. 12 00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,120 Yeah, but not today, partner. 13 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,950 Today I'm cool, calm and friendly. 14 00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:31,560 Yeah 15 00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,090 Wanna bet? 16 00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:37,140 Okay. 17 00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:41,400 Whenever I lose my temper, I'll pay you a buck. 18 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,400 So you don't have to go to your savings account 19 00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:45,750 better make it a quarter. 20 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:48,490 Cool, calm and friendly? 21 00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:39,390 Morning, sir. Do you mind stepping out of the car, please? 22 00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:41,000 Is that necessary? 23 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,040 Please. It's a proper request. 24 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,870 I'm in a terrible hurry. I'm late for an appointment. 25 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,700 I understand, sir. 26 00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:50,010 The sooner you get out, the sooner we get this over. 27 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,370 Step to the curb, please. 28 00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:02,190 And if I refuse? 29 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,500 It's for safety. 30 00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:06,720 I don't like being touched! 31 00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,720 What is this, Gestapo? 32 00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:13,550 My God! I've never been treated like this in my life. 33 00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,210 You bullies! 34 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,260 LA 15,7 Mary 3. Roll a 11-48.. 35 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,260 This is an example of American justice. 36 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,350 American law enforcement, sir. 37 00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,270 Justice comes later in the court. 38 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:31,660 Transportation's on its way. 39 00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,750 I must warn both of you, you'll regret this. 40 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,970 You bullies with guns. 41 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,800 You stormtroopers! 42 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,490 Would you just keep it quiet, sir? 43 00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:42,280 I'm a very important man. 44 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,760 - I have diplomatic immunity! 45 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,890 I said I have diplomatic immunity. 46 00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,460 Why didn't you mention that before? 47 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,680 Because you treated me with rudeness and disrespect! 48 00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,570 Hi, guys. What's going on? 49 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,180 Oh, excessive speed, reckless driving and assault. 50 00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,530 And a sore chin. You transportation? 51 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:21,360 - Yep. - I can't believe it. 52 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,840 A woman stormtrooper. In my country-- 53 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,840 Now, that'll be enough! 54 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:28,450 Cahill, we may have problems with this arrest 55 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,060 but we'll leave it up to Getraer. 56 00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:33,200 Want to take him down to the office? 57 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,030 I would not go with a woman. 58 00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,770 He would not? 59 00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:41,810 Cahill, take his majesty off the street. 60 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,730 "Your Highness" will do. 61 00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:24,930 All of this is a waste of time. 62 00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,410 One phone call. 63 00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:27,760 You can make it from the office. 64 00:08:27,810 --> 00:08:29,770 Have you never heard of diplomatic immunity? 65 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,550 I cannot be charged. 66 00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:34,330 If you'll remove these chains, I'll show you my papers. 67 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,030 That'll have to wait till the station, too. 68 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,250 The time to have shown your papers 69 00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:38,430 was when you were stopped. 70 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,560 You're a very attractive lady. 71 00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,480 Yeah. Hot stuff. 72 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,040 Why do you do what you do? 73 00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:49,350 You mean, my job? 74 00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:51,090 I mean that in my country 75 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,310 a beautiful woman like you would live in jewels and furs. 76 00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:56,230 She would live lavishly. 77 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,360 Well, who do I have to know to become a cop in your country? 78 00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:04,500 - Me. - Okay. 79 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,950 Ah, Poncherello, Baker 80 00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:24,040 this is Mr. Taylor of the state department. 81 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,600 And, uh, Miss Fay Ramad. 82 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,130 She's the assistant consul in this area 83 00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:30,090 for the Sheikdom of Bezel. 84 00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:32,220 - Nice to meet you. 85 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,260 The department is requesting that all charges 86 00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:36,830 against his highness be dropped. 87 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,490 He carries diplomatic immunity. 88 00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:39,920 Yeah and a good left. 89 00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,580 Sergeant, he struck Officer Poncherello. 90 00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:45,450 I did not strike him. I merely slapped him. 91 00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:47,020 Highness, please. 92 00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:49,190 Ah, I'll ask you to make out your written reports 93 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,890 and hand them directly to me. 94 00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:53,150 Sergeant, may we speak with you a moment in private? 95 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,760 Uh, yeah. If you'll excuse me, please. 96 00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,650 Look, guys, uh, they've got us over a barrel 97 00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,950 and I don't like it any more than you do. 98 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,780 But, uh, his highness has clout. 99 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,700 I'd like to give him a little bit more. 100 00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:19,350 The man is Sheik Ali Akbarnia Bezel 101 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,490 the first-born son, the favorite son of the ruler of Bezel. 102 00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:26,490 Need I say oil 103 00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:28,060 If his old man loves him so much 104 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,410 why'd he let him out of his sight? 105 00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:32,240 He's attending college here. 106 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,150 Don't laugh, but he's majoring in police science. 107 00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,590 Hmm, well, he's a slow study. 108 00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,160 Next thing you know, you'll ask us to apologize to him. 109 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,420 Uh, it was mentioned 110 00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:48,560 but I suggested it might not be wise. 111 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,690 Look, you guys, uh, why don't you just 112 00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,170 write this off to experience, huh? 113 00:10:53,210 --> 00:10:56,170 Yeah. Well, you know, like they say in the oil field 114 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,560 "That's Shah business." 115 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,260 Oh.. 116 00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:04,140 I'd better wash that one down with a cup of coffee. 117 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,320 With your permission. 118 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,190 Gentlemen, please don't say that I approached you 119 00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,230 but I feel I owe you an apology. 120 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,760 Not you, ma'am. 121 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,150 You don't have one thing to apologize for. 122 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,810 Please be assured that my government 123 00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:23,680 will take steps to prevent another such occurrence. 124 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,810 And you're both very kind. 125 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,380 Ma'am, it's been a pleasure. 126 00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,340 Did I say that? 127 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,910 It was a white and blue pickup. 128 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,000 The kegs fell off the back. 129 00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,790 Holy smokes, look what happened. 130 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,660 Kind of hard to miss. 131 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,140 I'm going to see about the truck. 132 00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:41,670 LA 15, 7 Mary 3, we're 10-97 at baseline and Adler. 133 00:12:41,710 --> 00:12:43,850 We have an 11-25, nails in all lanes. 134 00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:48,500 11-85 and an additional 11-84. 135 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,590 Don't worry, folks. We'll get things straightened out. 136 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,590 You'd better do something quick! 137 00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:57,860 She thinks she's gonna have the baby right here. 138 00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,470 And who should know better? 139 00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:00,820 Okay, we better call an ambulance. 140 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,690 Look, don't put yourself out. 141 00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,520 Six times she thought she knew better. 142 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,830 Six trips to the hospital, Six trips home. 143 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,310 Well, we'd better play it safe, huh? 144 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,090 Now, there's a guy with class. 145 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,570 How would you know? 146 00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:18,970 Yeah. 147 00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,620 After looking at what I married 148 00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:21,930 maybe you've got a point. 149 00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:29,460 Careful, ma'am. Be careful of the nails, now. 150 00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,890 Oh, that's the least of my problems. 151 00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,070 Hey-hey, you see that yellow car over there? 152 00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:34,330 ' ' 153 00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:35,770 That's my husband's car. 154 00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:38,420 You can't see him now, but he's there, alright. 155 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,290 With his blonde receptionist. 156 00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:41,730 I've been following him. 157 00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:44,510 And I got him this time. I got him cold. Come on. 158 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,170 Wait a minute, ma'am. I have 10 cars piled up here 159 00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:48,520 and this lady's about ready to have a baby. 160 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,870 Big deal. 161 00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,350 Listen, can't you catch him cold some other time? 162 00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:55,440 Not on your life! 163 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,840 You're going to wish you were never born! 164 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,620 Lois, honey! I can explain, honey! 165 00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:10,500 I can ex-- No, no, no! 166 00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:12,890 You're going to wish you were never born! 167 00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,810 Ma'am, come on. This is not the place. 168 00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,460 'Mind your own business.' 169 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,590 'My business is keeping the peace.' 170 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,810 'Now, I'm gonna have to charge you' 171 00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,160 'with disturbing it.' 172 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,680 - You wouldn't. - I would. 173 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:27,990 Why is there always a cop around when you don't want one? 174 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,250 You're going to get it. 175 00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,170 The both of you, you're going to get it! 176 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,450 'Watch the nails.' 177 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,580 Easy. Easy. 178 00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,470 I'm telling you, it's a false alarm. 179 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,390 She's not even due yet for another week. 180 00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,260 - No, no, no. 181 00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,000 I'll stay here with my car. 182 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,700 Tell her I'll pick her up later at the hospital, again. 183 00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:21,920 Okay? 184 00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:33,190 You catch the truck? 185 00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:34,670 Yeah. The tailgate came open. 186 00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,020 He didn't even know it. 187 00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:40,980 Come on. 188 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,390 It's a boy. 189 00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:03,610 Excuse me, uh, you're the proud father of a bouncing baby boy. 190 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,990 Mr. Immunity rides again. 191 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,040 Temper, temper. 192 00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,910 Your turn, Baker. 193 00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:28,220 Thanks. 194 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:38,570 Afternoon, Your Highness. 195 00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,620 It seems we meet again. 196 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,750 'Step from the car, please.' 197 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:53,280 Of course. There's no need for us to act like enemies. 198 00:17:53,330 --> 00:17:55,330 Could we step to the curb, please, away from traffic? 199 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,810 Would you like to see my papers? 200 00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,730 No. Simply your driver's license and registration, please. 201 00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:03,900 Well, you are aware, of course 202 00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,690 that under diplomatic immunity 203 00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:09,560 I'm not required to carry a driver's license of any kind. 204 00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,300 Well, that's not exactly correct. 205 00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:13,960 In any case, every vehicle has to have a registration. 206 00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:16,790 That I can show you. 207 00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,940 Forgive me, Your Highness 208 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:39,370 but this registration expired a year ago. 209 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:42,990 Ah, the stupidity of some of our clerks. 210 00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,550 Well, I'll see that it's taken care of immediately. 211 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,120 We better call a tow truck. 212 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,910 I'm no more than 50 minutes from home 213 00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:50,520 and there is my immunity. 214 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,950 Yes, sir, you are immune, but your vehicle is not. 215 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,610 We're gonna have to impound it 98-01 216 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,700 until proper registration can be shown. 217 00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:58,830 Fees and penalties paid. 218 00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:01,400 May I have the keys, please? 219 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,830 But this is.. No, no. This is not-- 220 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,920 My partner asked you for the key, please. 221 00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,190 You are aware that this is police 222 00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,320 California state law, sir, please. 223 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,450 Bah! 224 00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,110 Thank you, Your Highness. 225 00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:25,120 Look, uh, would you like us to call a car 226 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,460 to get you to your destination? 227 00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,120 There is no need, thank you. 228 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,990 I will have the consulate send a car. 229 00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:32,820 LA 15, 7 Mary 4. Roll an 11-85 230 00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:37,040 to the 2400 block on the baseline. 231 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,220 We have an impound for fees and penalties. 232 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,570 '10-4, 7 Mary 4.' 233 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,810 Come on, face it, Jon. 234 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,810 You thought you'd be a buck or two richer by now. 235 00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,380 But I have controlled my temper all day. 236 00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:11,250 I have been calm and pleasant, right? 237 00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,990 Yeah. Well, I 'll tell you something. 238 00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:16,650 It's disgusting how low a guy will stoop to win a two-bit bet. 239 00:20:16,690 --> 00:20:20,210 Yeah? Well, what do you say we extend the time on it, hmm? 240 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,220 It's fine with me. As long as you want. 241 00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:26,220 Hey, get this. 242 00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:28,090 "Consulate of Bezel." 243 00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:29,920 "Your presence is cordially requested 244 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,230 "for an informal afternoon aboard the Lady Theresa 245 00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:34,660 "Saturday the 15th at 2 p.m. 246 00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:37,270 Casual and bathing attire will be worn." 247 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,710 - Hmm. 248 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,280 Wonder why the Sheik invited us. 249 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:45,370 Man, that's no invitation. That's a summons. 250 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,280 We've had it with him on the streets 251 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,720 and he thinks when he says "Frog", we jump? 252 00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:53,460 No way, pal. I'd rather go to the dentist. 253 00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,510 Ponch, you got a phone call. 254 00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:56,770 Alright. 255 00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:14,490 Poncherello. I have a call. 256 00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:16,010 Yeah, Poncherello here. 257 00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:18,100 This is Fay Ramad from the consulate office. 258 00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,540 Do you remember me, Mr. Poncherello? 259 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,410 Oh, yes, ma'am. Can I help you? 260 00:21:22,450 --> 00:21:25,370 Yes. I was wondering if you'd received the invitations 261 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,800 I sent to Mr. Baker and you. 262 00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,200 Yousent them? 263 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,500 One of the more pleasant aspects of my job. 264 00:21:32,550 --> 00:21:34,720 May we count on you to attend? 265 00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:36,900 Oh, I'll have to talk to my partner about it. 266 00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:39,340 I don't think we got anything planned that day. 267 00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:43,120 I hope not. I'd enjoy seeing you again. 268 00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:46,820 I'll try to work it out and uh, thanks for calling. 269 00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,610 Bye. 270 00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:02,320 Oh.. 271 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,580 Don't just stand there, man. Get me the scotch tape! 272 00:24:10,970 --> 00:24:11,920 Thank you. 273 00:24:18,410 --> 00:24:19,450 Ahem. It's cold. 274 00:24:57,750 --> 00:24:59,880 Gentlemen. 275 00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:01,150 What is it? 276 00:25:01,190 --> 00:25:03,060 - Caviar. - Caviar. 277 00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,110 I know caviar. I meant, what brand? 278 00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:06,800 The chef imports it, sir. 279 00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:08,720 It's very expensive. 280 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,070 Not really, sir. Only $200 a pound. 281 00:25:17,770 --> 00:25:20,600 What's the matter? Don't you like it? 282 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:21,860 I don't know. 283 00:25:21,910 --> 00:25:23,690 I don't think I can eat.. 284 00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:26,430 ...anything that costs "$200 a pound." 285 00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:33,400 I watched you on the jet skis. You were wonderful. 286 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,830 You having a good time? 287 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,180 Yes. It's very, um... 288 00:25:37,230 --> 00:25:38,270 Elegant. 289 00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:39,750 Right. 290 00:25:39,790 --> 00:25:41,540 Champagne, gentlemen? 291 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,580 Would you like something else? 292 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:46,840 To be honest with you, a cold beer. 293 00:25:46,890 --> 00:25:49,540 Come. We have a nice selection. 294 00:25:55,850 --> 00:25:57,810 C'est vraiment froid. 295 00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,770 Woo! 296 00:25:59,810 --> 00:26:01,250 Merci. 297 00:26:01,290 --> 00:26:02,430 Woo! 298 00:26:02,470 --> 00:26:03,510 J'aime bien moi. 299 00:26:41,420 --> 00:26:43,290 Michelle, Suzanne. 300 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:03,830 Il est tres simple. 301 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:07,450 C'est difficile ca, pas simple. 302 00:27:07,490 --> 00:27:08,580 Ah, oui? 303 00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:10,580 Well, hello. 304 00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,930 I pray you're all having a pleasant time. 305 00:27:12,970 --> 00:27:14,150 Formidable. 306 00:27:14,190 --> 00:27:16,590 Good. Um.. 307 00:27:16,630 --> 00:27:18,720 Would you two mind seeing me in private? 308 00:27:20,850 --> 00:27:22,850 It's your party. 309 00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:24,420 Well, then, this way. 310 00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,170 Eh...excusez-moi. 311 00:27:32,210 --> 00:27:34,560 Attendez-vous ici, s'il vous plait. 312 00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:39,960 He's cute. 313 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,870 Pas mal. 314 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,700 Come in. 315 00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:47,840 I invited you here today so we could.. 316 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,010 ...settle matters between us. 317 00:27:50,050 --> 00:27:53,100 My objective is a simple understanding. 318 00:27:58,890 --> 00:28:01,240 I hope that you equally enjoy the situation. 319 00:28:06,980 --> 00:28:09,810 You realize you're offering us a bribe? 320 00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:11,690 Uh, no. 321 00:28:11,730 --> 00:28:13,250 This is semantics, Poncherello. 322 00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:15,340 Semantics. Poncherello, yes? 323 00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:20,780 You see, in my country, um... 324 00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:23,700 this is custom, please. 325 00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:27,180 We have customs, too. And we have laws. 326 00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:29,660 I'm above your laws. 327 00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,360 Come on. 328 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,010 Someday you're gonna kill somebody the way you drive 329 00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:36,930 but you cannot buy permission to do it on our beat. 330 00:28:36,970 --> 00:28:40,320 Not for all the oil in the Middle East. 331 00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,190 Baker, I owe you another quarter. 332 00:28:57,860 --> 00:29:00,170 Excuse me, uh, Fay 333 00:29:00,210 --> 00:29:02,910 we'd just like to say thank you and good-bye. 334 00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:05,560 Oh, is anything wrong? 335 00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:07,520 Yeah, I need a hamburger.. 336 00:29:07,570 --> 00:29:10,610 ...at 98 cents a pound. 337 00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:13,440 - Good-bye. - Bye. 338 00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:14,660 Ponch. 339 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,870 You know, I never asked you why, uh 340 00:31:57,910 --> 00:31:59,560 Barney's studying police science 341 00:31:59,610 --> 00:32:02,350 when he can't even obey the law. 342 00:32:02,390 --> 00:32:04,350 Well, his father hopes he'll learn 343 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,310 and come home and take charge of the Sheikdom's police. 344 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,970 Is this where you live? 345 00:32:12,010 --> 00:32:14,490 Oh, yeah. Um.. 346 00:32:14,540 --> 00:32:17,280 Listen, how come the Sheik put you in charge of his son? 347 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,980 I thought women in your country were, uh.. 348 00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:21,670 Unemancipated. 349 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,980 Yeah. 350 00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:25,810 We are and that's the point. 351 00:32:25,850 --> 00:32:29,940 You see, Barney won't take orders from any man. 352 00:32:29,990 --> 00:32:33,120 But I'm his cousin. I represent no threat to him. 353 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:37,040 So he'll take... persuasion from me. 354 00:32:39,870 --> 00:32:42,430 Ponch, aren't we going in? 355 00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,310 Yeah, okay, Fay, but don't expect too much, alright? 356 00:32:46,350 --> 00:32:47,570 And.. 357 00:32:47,610 --> 00:32:49,660 In fact, don't expect anything. 358 00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:55,880 I'm buying some furniture, but, uh.. 359 00:32:57,930 --> 00:32:59,760 This is how the other half lives. 360 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,800 I mean, I'm not apologizing for being poor. 361 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,500 It's just that I'm sorry if you-- 362 00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:05,280 Ponch, I love your place. 363 00:33:05,330 --> 00:33:07,850 Really? - It's great. 364 00:33:07,890 --> 00:33:09,200 Well, let me take you to the balcony. 365 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,510 Let me show you the view. 366 00:33:10,550 --> 00:33:11,850 - Okay. - Come on. 367 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,690 Ahem! 368 00:33:19,730 --> 00:33:21,690 Oh, uh, excuse me. This is, uh.. 369 00:33:21,730 --> 00:33:25,040 Permettez-moi de vous presenter Suzanne, n'est 370 00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,830 - Oui. 371 00:33:26,870 --> 00:33:27,960 Ca va. 372 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,480 What is shaking, pussycats? 373 00:33:34,220 --> 00:33:36,270 Hey, Jon, the steaks are burning! 374 00:33:37,530 --> 00:33:38,840 Here. 375 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,060 Hey! 376 00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:41,710 Okay, here. W-wait! Smother it. 377 00:33:41,750 --> 00:33:45,760 Ow! Get the sprayer! Where's the sprayer? 378 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,630 Ow! Ow! Hey! 379 00:33:47,670 --> 00:33:49,720 Oh, no! 380 00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,290 I like mine well-done anyway. 381 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,750 You sent for us, sarge? 382 00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:26,230 Uh, yeah. I thought you guys might like 383 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,840 to ride in the cruiser for the rest of the day. 384 00:34:29,630 --> 00:34:32,110 Normally, I know you wouldn't like to do that. 385 00:34:32,150 --> 00:34:34,850 But, uh, it might be fun, you'll have company. 386 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:37,980 Uh, your observer. 387 00:34:43,730 --> 00:34:45,690 You mean you want us to baby 388 00:34:45,730 --> 00:34:47,950 I mean, I can't even.. If he says one.. 389 00:34:47,990 --> 00:34:50,690 The idea is to anoint him with the wisdom 390 00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:53,130 of the California vehicle code. 391 00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:56,130 Ah, come on, sarge. That's a bit much to ask. 392 00:34:56,180 --> 00:34:57,180 Ask? 393 00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:58,310 Yes. Is it an order? 394 00:34:58,350 --> 00:34:59,830 No. 395 00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,050 Then it's too much. 396 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,100 It's just a request. 397 00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:08,190 - 'From his government.' - Mm-mm. 398 00:35:08,230 --> 00:35:11,020 - From your state department. - Uh-uh. 399 00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:12,450 'From your division commander.' 400 00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:13,500 - No. - No. 401 00:35:13,540 --> 00:35:14,890 Your sergeant! 402 00:35:44,530 --> 00:35:46,360 All this is a waste of time. 403 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,190 Why don't you just take me home? 404 00:35:50,230 --> 00:35:53,060 This is your father's idea. 405 00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:54,320 He wouldn't like it. 406 00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:58,540 But why you two? 407 00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:00,630 Well, maybe he heard we were friends. 408 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,200 Listen, why don't you just relax 409 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,720 and maybe you can learn something? 410 00:36:04,770 --> 00:36:06,680 I've learned all I care to know. 411 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:08,770 You write citations, the fines are paid 412 00:36:08,810 --> 00:36:10,210 the government gets richer. 413 00:36:10,250 --> 00:36:12,030 You know what you are, both of you? 414 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,600 You're nothing more than tax collectors in fancy uniforms. 415 00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:16,040 Listen, Your Highness-- 416 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,780 Ahem, it's gonna cost you a quarter. 417 00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:21,960 The uniforms aren't that fancy. 418 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,790 And we don't always write citations 419 00:36:24,830 --> 00:36:27,530 because we're not always around. 420 00:36:27,570 --> 00:36:29,700 And reckless drivers get away with murder. 421 00:36:33,970 --> 00:36:36,410 Six kids on the way to the beach. 422 00:36:36,450 --> 00:36:39,500 The driver, he lost control and went off the Canyon Road. 423 00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:41,800 He's okay. Minor injuries. 424 00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:43,540 He killed all five of his friends. 425 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,850 'This one was forced out of control' 426 00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:50,120 in front of a truck that couldn't stop. 427 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,990 Three fatalities. 428 00:36:53,030 --> 00:36:55,030 One four-year-old child. 429 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,470 The guy who cut him off.. 430 00:36:57,510 --> 00:36:58,780 ...never even stopped. 431 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,260 'Attention, all units in the vicinity of Veteran and Slawson' 432 00:37:06,310 --> 00:37:07,790 'possible 11-44.' 433 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,400 Come on, Barney. Get in. Let's roll. 434 00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:20,150 LA 15, 7 Mary 4 responding. 435 00:37:20,190 --> 00:37:21,150 Hey, Barney! 436 00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:24,150 - Come on, get in. 437 00:37:57,790 --> 00:37:58,710 'Two cars involved.' 438 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,490 '15 SA, 10-39 at the office.' 439 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,580 '15 6 Adam, 11-25.' 440 00:38:06,630 --> 00:38:08,590 'Stalled vehicle in the number one lane.' 441 00:38:08,630 --> 00:38:11,070 'East bound, Santa Monica freeway..' 442 00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:44,100 Come on, Sheik. Let's go. Come on! They need help. 443 00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:46,320 Hurry up. Will you move it? 444 00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,290 - Yeah. 445 00:39:00,330 --> 00:39:01,680 I'll need the portapower and some chain. 446 00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:02,730 It's in the second compartment 447 00:39:02,770 --> 00:39:03,950 right side of the truck. 448 00:39:04,990 --> 00:39:06,900 Sheik, come here. 449 00:39:06,950 --> 00:39:09,300 Your Highness, come here. 450 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,170 Barney, come here! 451 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,880 Now, you hold this up high. 452 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,150 Is he going to live? 453 00:39:36,190 --> 00:39:37,810 He's got a 60-40 chance. 454 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,600 I see you have royalty with you. 455 00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:54,560 What's he doing? 456 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,300 Sightseeing. 457 00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:57,870 Not pretty. 458 00:39:57,910 --> 00:40:00,390 Say, Jon, you mind taking the statements here? 459 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,920 I'll do the hospital follow-up. 460 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,220 Alright. You're faded. 461 00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:07,140 - See you later. - You bet. 462 00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:35,380 I lost my temper at him. 463 00:40:35,430 --> 00:40:36,560 I think it did some good. 464 00:40:38,390 --> 00:40:39,820 Sometimes that's the only way. 465 00:40:45,570 --> 00:40:46,920 Just hang on, old man. 466 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,570 'You're in excellent hands.' 467 00:41:03,630 --> 00:41:05,500 'So be on the lookout for car clouters' 468 00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:08,420 'shaking down any abandoned vehicles.' 469 00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:10,420 'Okay, I guess that's everything.' 470 00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:13,510 Oh, uh, one more thing. 471 00:41:13,550 --> 00:41:17,120 Regulations state that accepting gifts or gratuities 472 00:41:17,170 --> 00:41:19,910 is strictly prohibited. 473 00:41:19,950 --> 00:41:21,560 Okay, hit your beats. 474 00:41:27,870 --> 00:41:29,790 Well, I hope you two are aware 475 00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:32,960 that that last little bit was meant for you. 476 00:41:33,010 --> 00:41:35,140 - Yep. 477 00:41:35,180 --> 00:41:36,880 The only gift I ever got was from a guy 478 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,010 I helped change a tire. 479 00:41:39,060 --> 00:41:42,020 Gave me a tip on a horse.. 480 00:41:42,060 --> 00:41:44,710 ...and the donkey ran dead last. 481 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,980 Well, if I were you, I'd check the parking lot out 482 00:41:48,020 --> 00:41:49,980 before you engrave it in stone. 483 00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:51,630 - Yep. 484 00:42:04,210 --> 00:42:05,950 Whoo! 485 00:42:11,310 --> 00:42:13,570 Wow! 486 00:42:13,610 --> 00:42:14,660 Beautiful, aren't they? 487 00:42:16,790 --> 00:42:19,140 Yeah, but they do look like gifts. 488 00:42:19,180 --> 00:42:20,970 They couldn't be for us. 489 00:42:21,010 --> 00:42:22,360 Uh, read the cards. 490 00:42:24,620 --> 00:42:27,840 Hey, Jon, this one is addressed to you. 491 00:42:29,370 --> 00:42:30,370 Oh, yeah? 492 00:42:37,030 --> 00:42:40,600 Yeah, well, uh... this one's yours. 493 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:41,550 Hmm. 494 00:42:44,210 --> 00:42:45,470 Pink slips. 495 00:42:45,510 --> 00:42:47,690 Huh. "Sheik Barney." 496 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,700 I don't know, Jon. 497 00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:55,570 An SE's a little more car than I want. 498 00:42:55,610 --> 00:42:58,660 Yeah, well, you think you'd like the 450 SL a little better? 499 00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:03,010 It's yours. 500 00:43:07,670 --> 00:43:09,060 Whoo! 501 00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:57,190 Ah...but why? 502 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:00,070 These are not bribes. 503 00:44:00,110 --> 00:44:02,850 These are gifts of gratitude 504 00:44:02,900 --> 00:44:05,640 from friend to friend. 505 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,380 You made me.. How do you say? 506 00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:10,430 You made me open my eyes and see things. 507 00:44:10,470 --> 00:44:12,380 You made me see myself. 508 00:44:12,430 --> 00:44:14,820 All I wanted to do was thank you. 509 00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:18,170 Well, we can't accept them. They're gifts. 510 00:44:18,220 --> 00:44:20,000 But in America, we place 511 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:24,610 a very high price on a handshake. 512 00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:26,010 Ah.. 513 00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:30,180 Well.. 514 00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:31,580 Well.. 515 00:44:31,620 --> 00:44:35,840 At least, I can say that from now on.. 516 00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:37,410 ...I'm going to drive the limousine. 517 00:44:37,450 --> 00:44:39,980 Rather, my staff is going to drive it for me. 518 00:44:40,020 --> 00:44:41,980 No more hot-rodding in the Ferrari. 519 00:44:42,020 --> 00:44:43,630 Well, that's very good. 520 00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,860 Uh, one more thing. 521 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:52,550 Control your temper. 522 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,780 And always try to be cool, calm and friendly. 523 00:44:55,820 --> 00:44:58,210 Yes, yes. Cool, calm and friendly. 524 00:44:58,260 --> 00:44:59,260 Yes. 525 00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:01,690 See you, Barney. 526 00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:24,630 Why, that two-faced, double-talking liar! 527 00:45:24,670 --> 00:45:26,240 Watch your temper, Ponch. 528 00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,850 I'm mad and I admit it! 529 00:45:40,950 --> 00:45:43,260 I've had it with this cat. I'm going to throw the book at him. 530 00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:44,820 I'm gonna take him off the street. 531 00:45:44,870 --> 00:45:46,520 - Immunity or no immunity-- - Hey, Ponch, uh... 532 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,620 Well, at last you're here to do your duty. 533 00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,360 I've been speeding all over your beat. 534 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,010 I have a ticket from Baricza. 535 00:46:00,060 --> 00:46:03,060 I have one from Grossman. I have one from Cahill. 536 00:46:03,100 --> 00:46:05,110 I have one from Fritz. 537 00:46:05,150 --> 00:46:06,500 Where have you been? 538 00:46:06,540 --> 00:46:08,330 Look, you didn't have to go speeding. 539 00:46:08,370 --> 00:46:11,590 You could have called me tonight. 540 00:46:11,630 --> 00:46:13,680 I'll be gone by tonight. 541 00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:16,120 I'm flying to Paris at 4:00. 542 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:17,510 To Paris 543 00:46:17,550 --> 00:46:19,680 Well, Barney's younger brother is in trouble 544 00:46:19,730 --> 00:46:22,470 and the Sheik wants me to try to straighten him out. 545 00:46:24,390 --> 00:46:26,870 Do you care to join me? 546 00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:29,870 Yeah, sure. Jon speaks French. 547 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,440 Anyway, I'll write you. 548 00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:37,490 And I'll expect replies. 549 00:46:37,530 --> 00:46:38,620 Oh, that's a deal. 550 00:46:40,310 --> 00:46:42,530 'Hey, hey, hey!' 551 00:46:42,580 --> 00:46:45,840 Hold it, now. Ponch, that's a gift. 552 00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,320 Well, come on. You're gonna have to return it. 553 00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,200 What do you want me to do with these tickets? 554 00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,030 Let the consulate handle them. 555 00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,580 A really special type. 556 00:47:24,620 --> 00:47:26,930 Yeah, but, uh... blew your cool. 557 00:47:28,670 --> 00:47:29,890 Oh, wait a minute, man. 558 00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:31,370 That was before I knew it was her. 559 00:47:31,410 --> 00:47:34,630 Nah, "I'm mad" you said. "I admit it." 560 00:47:34,670 --> 00:47:37,590 So I owe you another quarter. 561 00:47:37,630 --> 00:47:39,160 Yeah, well, uh, I'll take it. 39265

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