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1
00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:27,630
Beautiful day.
2
00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:31,720
Clean, fresh,
everything seems right.
3
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,900
Wish we didn't
have to work today.
4
00:00:39,990 --> 00:00:43,210
Don't see why somebody
doesn't fix those sprinklers.
5
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,820
Ah, come on, Jon.
A few drops of water?
6
00:00:46,870 --> 00:00:48,220
Don't blow your top.
7
00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:50,260
I didn't blow my top!
It's..
8
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:08,800
Ahem.
9
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,770
Alright, I blew my top.
10
00:01:20,550 --> 00:01:22,560
I'm sorry, alright?
11
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:23,900
It's usually you.
12
00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:26,120
Yeah, but not today, partner.
13
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,950
Today I'm cool,
calm and friendly.
14
00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:31,560
Yeah
15
00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:35,090
Wanna bet?
16
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:37,140
Okay.
17
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:41,400
Whenever I lose my temper,
I'll pay you a buck.
18
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,400
So you don't have to go
to your savings account
19
00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:45,750
better make it a quarter.
20
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:48,490
Cool, calm and friendly?
21
00:03:36,820 --> 00:03:39,390
Morning, sir. Do you mind
stepping out of the car, please?
22
00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:41,000
Is that necessary?
23
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,040
Please.
It's a proper request.
24
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,870
I'm in a terrible hurry.
I'm late for an appointment.
25
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,700
I understand, sir.
26
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:50,010
The sooner you get out,
the sooner we get this over.
27
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,370
Step to the curb, please.
28
00:04:00,410 --> 00:04:02,190
And if I refuse?
29
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,500
It's for safety.
30
00:04:05,540 --> 00:04:06,720
I don't like being touched!
31
00:04:08,330 --> 00:04:10,720
What is this, Gestapo?
32
00:04:10,770 --> 00:04:13,550
My God! I've never been
treated like this in my life.
33
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,210
You bullies!
34
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,260
LA 15,7 Mary 3.
Roll a 11-48..
35
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:26,260
This is an example
of American justice.
36
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,350
American law enforcement, sir.
37
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,270
Justice comes later
in the court.
38
00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:31,660
Transportation's on its way.
39
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:34,750
I must warn both of you,
you'll regret this.
40
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,970
You bullies with guns.
41
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,800
You stormtroopers!
42
00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:40,490
Would you just
keep it quiet, sir?
43
00:04:40,540 --> 00:04:42,280
I'm a very important man.
44
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,760
- I have diplomatic immunity!
45
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,890
I said I have
diplomatic immunity.
46
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,460
Why didn't you
mention that before?
47
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,680
Because you treated me
with rudeness and disrespect!
48
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,570
Hi, guys.
What's going on?
49
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:16,180
Oh, excessive speed,
reckless driving and assault.
50
00:05:16,220 --> 00:05:18,530
And a sore chin.
You transportation?
51
00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:21,360
- Yep.
- I can't believe it.
52
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,840
A woman stormtrooper.
In my country--
53
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,840
Now, that'll be enough!
54
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:28,450
Cahill, we may have
problems with this arrest
55
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:31,060
but we'll leave it
up to Getraer.
56
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:33,200
Want to take him
down to the office?
57
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,030
I would not go
with a woman.
58
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:38,770
He would not?
59
00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:41,810
Cahill, take his majesty
off the street.
60
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:45,730
"Your Highness" will do.
61
00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:24,930
All of this is
a waste of time.
62
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,410
One phone call.
63
00:08:26,460 --> 00:08:27,760
You can make it
from the office.
64
00:08:27,810 --> 00:08:29,770
Have you never heard
of diplomatic immunity?
65
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,550
I cannot be charged.
66
00:08:31,590 --> 00:08:34,330
If you'll remove these chains,
I'll show you my papers.
67
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,030
That'll have to wait
till the station, too.
68
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,250
The time to have
shown your papers
69
00:08:37,290 --> 00:08:38,430
was when you were stopped.
70
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,560
You're a very attractive lady.
71
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:46,480
Yeah. Hot stuff.
72
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,040
Why do you do what you do?
73
00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:49,350
You mean, my job?
74
00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:51,090
I mean that in my country
75
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:54,310
a beautiful woman like you
would live in jewels and furs.
76
00:08:54,350 --> 00:08:56,230
She would live lavishly.
77
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,360
Well, who do I have to know to
become a cop in your country?
78
00:09:01,270 --> 00:09:04,500
- Me.
- Okay.
79
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,950
Ah, Poncherello, Baker
80
00:09:20,990 --> 00:09:24,040
this is Mr. Taylor
of the state department.
81
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,600
And, uh, Miss Fay Ramad.
82
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,130
She's the assistant
consul in this area
83
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:30,090
for the Sheikdom of Bezel.
84
00:09:30,130 --> 00:09:32,220
- Nice to meet you.
85
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,260
The department is
requesting that all charges
86
00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:36,830
against his highness
be dropped.
87
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,490
He carries
diplomatic immunity.
88
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:39,920
Yeah and a good left.
89
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,580
Sergeant, he struck
Officer Poncherello.
90
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:45,450
I did not strike him.
I merely slapped him.
91
00:09:45,490 --> 00:09:47,020
Highness, please.
92
00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:49,190
Ah, I'll ask you to make out
your written reports
93
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,890
and hand them directly to me.
94
00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:53,150
Sergeant, may we speak
with you a moment in private?
95
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,760
Uh, yeah.
If you'll excuse me, please.
96
00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,650
Look, guys, uh,
they've got us over a barrel
97
00:10:09,690 --> 00:10:10,950
and I don't like it
any more than you do.
98
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,780
But, uh, his highness
has clout.
99
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,700
I'd like to give him
a little bit more.
100
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:19,350
The man is
Sheik Ali Akbarnia Bezel
101
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,490
the first-born son, the favorite
son of the ruler of Bezel.
102
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:26,490
Need I say oil
103
00:10:26,530 --> 00:10:28,060
If his old man
loves him so much
104
00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,410
why'd he let him
out of his sight?
105
00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:32,240
He's attending college here.
106
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,150
Don't laugh, but he's
majoring in police science.
107
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,590
Hmm, well,
he's a slow study.
108
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,160
Next thing you know, you'll
ask us to apologize to him.
109
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,420
Uh, it was mentioned
110
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:48,560
but I suggested
it might not be wise.
111
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,690
Look, you guys, uh,
why don't you just
112
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,170
write this off
to experience, huh?
113
00:10:53,210 --> 00:10:56,170
Yeah. Well, you know, like
they say in the oil field
114
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,560
"That's Shah business."
115
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,260
Oh..
116
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:04,140
I'd better wash that one
down with a cup of coffee.
117
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,320
With your permission.
118
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,190
Gentlemen, please don't say
that I approached you
119
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,230
but I feel I owe
you an apology.
120
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,760
Not you, ma'am.
121
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,150
You don't have one thing
to apologize for.
122
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,810
Please be assured
that my government
123
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:23,680
will take steps to prevent
another such occurrence.
124
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,810
And you're both very kind.
125
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,380
Ma'am, it's been
a pleasure.
126
00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:36,340
Did I say that?
127
00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:25,910
It was a white
and blue pickup.
128
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,000
The kegs fell off the back.
129
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,790
Holy smokes,
look what happened.
130
00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,660
Kind of hard to miss.
131
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:33,140
I'm going to see
about the truck.
132
00:12:37,930 --> 00:12:41,670
LA 15, 7 Mary 3, we're 10-97
at baseline and Adler.
133
00:12:41,710 --> 00:12:43,850
We have an 11-25,
nails in all lanes.
134
00:12:43,890 --> 00:12:48,500
11-85 and
an additional 11-84.
135
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:51,590
Don't worry, folks. We'll get
things straightened out.
136
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,590
You'd better
do something quick!
137
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:57,860
She thinks she's gonna
have the baby right here.
138
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,470
And who should know better?
139
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:00,820
Okay, we better
call an ambulance.
140
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,690
Look, don't put yourself out.
141
00:13:02,730 --> 00:13:04,520
Six times she thought
she knew better.
142
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,830
Six trips to the hospital,
Six trips home.
143
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:10,310
Well, we'd better
play it safe, huh?
144
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,090
Now, there's a guy with class.
145
00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:17,570
How would you know?
146
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:18,970
Yeah.
147
00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:20,620
After looking
at what I married
148
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:21,930
maybe you've got a point.
149
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:29,460
Careful, ma'am. Be careful
of the nails, now.
150
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,890
Oh, that's the least
of my problems.
151
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,070
Hey-hey, you see that
yellow car over there?
152
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:34,330
'
'
153
00:13:34,370 --> 00:13:35,770
That's my husband's car.
154
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:38,420
You can't see him now,
but he's there, alright.
155
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:40,290
With his
blonde receptionist.
156
00:13:40,340 --> 00:13:41,730
I've been following him.
157
00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:44,510
And I got him this time.
I got him cold. Come on.
158
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:47,170
Wait a minute, ma'am.
I have 10 cars piled up here
159
00:13:47,210 --> 00:13:48,520
and this lady's about
ready to have a baby.
160
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,870
Big deal.
161
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,350
Listen, can't you catch him
cold some other time?
162
00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:55,440
Not on your life!
163
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,840
You're going to wish
you were never born!
164
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,620
Lois, honey!
I can explain, honey!
165
00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:10,500
I can ex--
No, no, no!
166
00:14:10,540 --> 00:14:12,890
You're going to wish
you were never born!
167
00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,810
Ma'am, come on.
This is not the place.
168
00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,460
'Mind your own business.'
169
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:18,590
'My business is
keeping the peace.'
170
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,810
'Now, I'm gonna
have to charge you'
171
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,160
'with disturbing it.'
172
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,680
- You wouldn't.
- I would.
173
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:27,990
Why is there always a cop
around when you don't want one?
174
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,250
You're going to get it.
175
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,170
The both of you,
you're going to get it!
176
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,450
'Watch the nails.'
177
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,580
Easy. Easy.
178
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:12,470
I'm telling you,
it's a false alarm.
179
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,390
She's not even due yet
for another week.
180
00:15:14,430 --> 00:15:16,260
- No, no, no.
181
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,000
I'll stay here
with my car.
182
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,700
Tell her I'll pick her up
later at the hospital, again.
183
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:21,920
Okay?
184
00:15:32,060 --> 00:15:33,190
You catch the truck?
185
00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:34,670
Yeah.
The tailgate came open.
186
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,020
He didn't even know it.
187
00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:40,980
Come on.
188
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,390
It's a boy.
189
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:03,610
Excuse me, uh, you're the proud
father of a bouncing baby boy.
190
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:36,990
Mr. Immunity rides again.
191
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,040
Temper, temper.
192
00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,910
Your turn, Baker.
193
00:17:26,910 --> 00:17:28,220
Thanks.
194
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:38,570
Afternoon, Your Highness.
195
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,620
It seems we meet again.
196
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,750
'Step from the car, please.'
197
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:53,280
Of course. There's no need
for us to act like enemies.
198
00:17:53,330 --> 00:17:55,330
Could we step to the curb,
please, away from traffic?
199
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,810
Would you like
to see my papers?
200
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:02,730
No. Simply your driver's license
and registration, please.
201
00:18:02,770 --> 00:18:03,900
Well, you are
aware, of course
202
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,690
that under diplomatic immunity
203
00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:09,560
I'm not required to carry a
driver's license of any kind.
204
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:11,300
Well, that's not
exactly correct.
205
00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:13,960
In any case, every vehicle
has to have a registration.
206
00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:16,790
That I can show you.
207
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,940
Forgive me, Your Highness
208
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:39,370
but this registration
expired a year ago.
209
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:42,990
Ah, the stupidity of
some of our clerks.
210
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,550
Well, I'll see that it's
taken care of immediately.
211
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,120
We better call a tow truck.
212
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,910
I'm no more than
50 minutes from home
213
00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:50,520
and there is my immunity.
214
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,950
Yes, sir, you are immune,
but your vehicle is not.
215
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,610
We're gonna have to
impound it 98-01
216
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,700
until proper registration
can be shown.
217
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:58,830
Fees and penalties paid.
218
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:01,400
May I have the keys, please?
219
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,830
But this is..
No, no. This is not--
220
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,920
My partner asked you
for the key, please.
221
00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,190
You are aware that this is
police
222
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:12,320
California state law,
sir, please.
223
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,450
Bah!
224
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,110
Thank you, Your Highness.
225
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:25,120
Look, uh, would you
like us to call a car
226
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,460
to get you
to your destination?
227
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:28,120
There is no need,
thank you.
228
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,990
I will have
the consulate send a car.
229
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:32,820
LA 15, 7 Mary 4.
Roll an 11-85
230
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:37,040
to the 2400 block
on the baseline.
231
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,220
We have an impound
for fees and penalties.
232
00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,570
'10-4, 7 Mary 4.'
233
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,810
Come on, face it, Jon.
234
00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:05,810
You thought you'd be a buck
or two richer by now.
235
00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,380
But I have controlled
my temper all day.
236
00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:11,250
I have been calm
and pleasant, right?
237
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,990
Yeah.
Well, I 'll tell you something.
238
00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:16,650
It's disgusting how low a guy
will stoop to win a two-bit bet.
239
00:20:16,690 --> 00:20:20,210
Yeah? Well, what do you say
we extend the time on it, hmm?
240
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,220
It's fine with me.
As long as you want.
241
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:26,220
Hey, get this.
242
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:28,090
"Consulate of Bezel."
243
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:29,920
"Your presence is
cordially requested
244
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,230
"for an informal afternoon
aboard the Lady Theresa
245
00:20:32,270 --> 00:20:34,660
"Saturday the 15th at 2 p.m.
246
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:37,270
Casual and bathing attire
will be worn."
247
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,710
- Hmm.
248
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,280
Wonder why the
Sheik invited us.
249
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:45,370
Man, that's no invitation.
That's a summons.
250
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:47,280
We've had it with him
on the streets
251
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:49,720
and he thinks when
he says "Frog", we jump?
252
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:53,460
No way, pal.
I'd rather go to the dentist.
253
00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,510
Ponch, you got a phone call.
254
00:20:55,550 --> 00:20:56,770
Alright.
255
00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:14,490
Poncherello.
I have a call.
256
00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:16,010
Yeah, Poncherello here.
257
00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:18,100
This is Fay Ramad
from the consulate office.
258
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,540
Do you remember me,
Mr. Poncherello?
259
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,410
Oh, yes, ma'am.
Can I help you?
260
00:21:22,450 --> 00:21:25,370
Yes. I was wondering if you'd
received the invitations
261
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,800
I sent to Mr. Baker and you.
262
00:21:27,850 --> 00:21:29,200
Yousent them?
263
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,500
One of the more pleasant
aspects of my job.
264
00:21:32,550 --> 00:21:34,720
May we count on you to attend?
265
00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:36,900
Oh, I'll have to talk to
my partner about it.
266
00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:39,340
I don't think we got
anything planned that day.
267
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:43,120
I hope not.
I'd enjoy seeing you again.
268
00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:46,820
I'll try to work it out and
uh, thanks for calling.
269
00:21:46,870 --> 00:21:48,610
Bye.
270
00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:02,320
Oh..
271
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,580
Don't just stand there, man.
Get me the scotch tape!
272
00:24:10,970 --> 00:24:11,920
Thank you.
273
00:24:18,410 --> 00:24:19,450
Ahem. It's cold.
274
00:24:57,750 --> 00:24:59,880
Gentlemen.
275
00:24:59,930 --> 00:25:01,150
What is it?
276
00:25:01,190 --> 00:25:03,060
- Caviar.
- Caviar.
277
00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,110
I know caviar.
I meant, what brand?
278
00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:06,800
The chef imports it, sir.
279
00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:08,720
It's very expensive.
280
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,070
Not really, sir.
Only $200 a pound.
281
00:25:17,770 --> 00:25:20,600
What's the matter?
Don't you like it?
282
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:21,860
I don't know.
283
00:25:21,910 --> 00:25:23,690
I don't think I can eat..
284
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:26,430
...anything that costs
"$200 a pound."
285
00:25:30,740 --> 00:25:33,400
I watched you on the jet skis.
You were wonderful.
286
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,830
You having a good time?
287
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,180
Yes.
It's very, um...
288
00:25:37,230 --> 00:25:38,270
Elegant.
289
00:25:38,310 --> 00:25:39,750
Right.
290
00:25:39,790 --> 00:25:41,540
Champagne, gentlemen?
291
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,580
Would you like something else?
292
00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:46,840
To be honest with you,
a cold beer.
293
00:25:46,890 --> 00:25:49,540
Come.
We have a nice selection.
294
00:25:55,850 --> 00:25:57,810
C'est vraiment froid.
295
00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,770
Woo!
296
00:25:59,810 --> 00:26:01,250
Merci.
297
00:26:01,290 --> 00:26:02,430
Woo!
298
00:26:02,470 --> 00:26:03,510
J'aime bien moi.
299
00:26:41,420 --> 00:26:43,290
Michelle, Suzanne.
300
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:03,830
Il est tres simple.
301
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:07,450
C'est difficile ca,
pas simple.
302
00:27:07,490 --> 00:27:08,580
Ah, oui?
303
00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:10,580
Well, hello.
304
00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:12,930
I pray you're all
having a pleasant time.
305
00:27:12,970 --> 00:27:14,150
Formidable.
306
00:27:14,190 --> 00:27:16,590
Good. Um..
307
00:27:16,630 --> 00:27:18,720
Would you two mind
seeing me in private?
308
00:27:20,850 --> 00:27:22,850
It's your party.
309
00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:24,420
Well, then, this way.
310
00:27:30,300 --> 00:27:32,170
Eh...excusez-moi.
311
00:27:32,210 --> 00:27:34,560
Attendez-vous ici,
s'il vous plait.
312
00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:39,960
He's cute.
313
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,870
Pas mal.
314
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:43,700
Come in.
315
00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:47,840
I invited you here today
so we could..
316
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,010
...settle matters
between us.
317
00:27:50,050 --> 00:27:53,100
My objective is
a simple understanding.
318
00:27:58,890 --> 00:28:01,240
I hope that you equally
enjoy the situation.
319
00:28:06,980 --> 00:28:09,810
You realize you're
offering us a bribe?
320
00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:11,690
Uh, no.
321
00:28:11,730 --> 00:28:13,250
This is semantics, Poncherello.
322
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:15,340
Semantics.
Poncherello, yes?
323
00:28:17,780 --> 00:28:20,780
You see,
in my country, um...
324
00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:23,700
this is custom, please.
325
00:28:23,740 --> 00:28:27,180
We have customs, too.
And we have laws.
326
00:28:27,220 --> 00:28:29,660
I'm above your laws.
327
00:28:29,700 --> 00:28:31,360
Come on.
328
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:34,010
Someday you're gonna kill
somebody the way you drive
329
00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:36,930
but you cannot buy permission
to do it on our beat.
330
00:28:36,970 --> 00:28:40,320
Not for all the oil
in the Middle East.
331
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,190
Baker, I owe you
another quarter.
332
00:28:57,860 --> 00:29:00,170
Excuse me, uh, Fay
333
00:29:00,210 --> 00:29:02,910
we'd just like to say
thank you and good-bye.
334
00:29:02,950 --> 00:29:05,560
Oh, is anything wrong?
335
00:29:05,610 --> 00:29:07,520
Yeah, I need a hamburger..
336
00:29:07,570 --> 00:29:10,610
...at 98 cents a pound.
337
00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:13,440
- Good-bye.
- Bye.
338
00:29:13,490 --> 00:29:14,660
Ponch.
339
00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:57,870
You know, I never
asked you why, uh
340
00:31:57,910 --> 00:31:59,560
Barney's studying
police science
341
00:31:59,610 --> 00:32:02,350
when he can't even
obey the law.
342
00:32:02,390 --> 00:32:04,350
Well, his father
hopes he'll learn
343
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,310
and come home and take charge
of the Sheikdom's police.
344
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,970
Is this where you live?
345
00:32:12,010 --> 00:32:14,490
Oh, yeah.
Um..
346
00:32:14,540 --> 00:32:17,280
Listen, how come the Sheik
put you in charge of his son?
347
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:19,980
I thought women in
your country were, uh..
348
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:21,670
Unemancipated.
349
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,980
Yeah.
350
00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:25,810
We are and that's the point.
351
00:32:25,850 --> 00:32:29,940
You see, Barney won't
take orders from any man.
352
00:32:29,990 --> 00:32:33,120
But I'm his cousin.
I represent no threat to him.
353
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:37,040
So he'll take...
persuasion from me.
354
00:32:39,870 --> 00:32:42,430
Ponch, aren't we going in?
355
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:46,310
Yeah, okay, Fay, but don't
expect too much, alright?
356
00:32:46,350 --> 00:32:47,570
And..
357
00:32:47,610 --> 00:32:49,660
In fact, don't expect anything.
358
00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:55,880
I'm buying some furniture,
but, uh..
359
00:32:57,930 --> 00:32:59,760
This is how
the other half lives.
360
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,800
I mean, I'm not apologizing
for being poor.
361
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,500
It's just that
I'm sorry if you--
362
00:33:03,540 --> 00:33:05,280
Ponch, I love your place.
363
00:33:05,330 --> 00:33:07,850
Really?
- It's great.
364
00:33:07,890 --> 00:33:09,200
Well, let me take you
to the balcony.
365
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,510
Let me show you the view.
366
00:33:10,550 --> 00:33:11,850
- Okay.
- Come on.
367
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,690
Ahem!
368
00:33:19,730 --> 00:33:21,690
Oh, uh, excuse me.
This is, uh..
369
00:33:21,730 --> 00:33:25,040
Permettez-moi de vous presenter
Suzanne, n'est
370
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:26,830
- Oui.
371
00:33:26,870 --> 00:33:27,960
Ca va.
372
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,480
What is shaking, pussycats?
373
00:33:34,220 --> 00:33:36,270
Hey, Jon, the steaks
are burning!
374
00:33:37,530 --> 00:33:38,840
Here.
375
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,060
Hey!
376
00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:41,710
Okay, here.
W-wait! Smother it.
377
00:33:41,750 --> 00:33:45,760
Ow! Get the sprayer!
Where's the sprayer?
378
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,630
Ow! Ow! Hey!
379
00:33:47,670 --> 00:33:49,720
Oh, no!
380
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:51,290
I like mine
well-done anyway.
381
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,750
You sent for us, sarge?
382
00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:26,230
Uh, yeah. I thought
you guys might like
383
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,840
to ride in the cruiser
for the rest of the day.
384
00:34:29,630 --> 00:34:32,110
Normally, I know you
wouldn't like to do that.
385
00:34:32,150 --> 00:34:34,850
But, uh, it might be fun,
you'll have company.
386
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:37,980
Uh, your observer.
387
00:34:43,730 --> 00:34:45,690
You mean you want us
to baby
388
00:34:45,730 --> 00:34:47,950
I mean, I can't even..
If he says one..
389
00:34:47,990 --> 00:34:50,690
The idea is to anoint him
with the wisdom
390
00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:53,130
of the California
vehicle code.
391
00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:56,130
Ah, come on, sarge.
That's a bit much to ask.
392
00:34:56,180 --> 00:34:57,180
Ask?
393
00:34:57,220 --> 00:34:58,310
Yes.
Is it an order?
394
00:34:58,350 --> 00:34:59,830
No.
395
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:02,050
Then it's too much.
396
00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,100
It's just a request.
397
00:35:06,190 --> 00:35:08,190
- 'From his government.'
- Mm-mm.
398
00:35:08,230 --> 00:35:11,020
- From your state department.
- Uh-uh.
399
00:35:11,060 --> 00:35:12,450
'From your
division commander.'
400
00:35:12,500 --> 00:35:13,500
- No.
- No.
401
00:35:13,540 --> 00:35:14,890
Your sergeant!
402
00:35:44,530 --> 00:35:46,360
All this is a waste of time.
403
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,190
Why don't you just
take me home?
404
00:35:50,230 --> 00:35:53,060
This is your
father's idea.
405
00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:54,320
He wouldn't like it.
406
00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:58,540
But why you two?
407
00:35:58,590 --> 00:36:00,630
Well, maybe he heard
we were friends.
408
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,200
Listen, why don't you
just relax
409
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,720
and maybe
you can learn something?
410
00:36:04,770 --> 00:36:06,680
I've learned
all I care to know.
411
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:08,770
You write citations,
the fines are paid
412
00:36:08,810 --> 00:36:10,210
the government gets richer.
413
00:36:10,250 --> 00:36:12,030
You know what you are,
both of you?
414
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:14,600
You're nothing more than tax
collectors in fancy uniforms.
415
00:36:14,650 --> 00:36:16,040
Listen, Your Highness--
416
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:19,780
Ahem, it's gonna
cost you a quarter.
417
00:36:19,820 --> 00:36:21,960
The uniforms aren't that fancy.
418
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,790
And we don't always
write citations
419
00:36:24,830 --> 00:36:27,530
because we're not
always around.
420
00:36:27,570 --> 00:36:29,700
And reckless drivers
get away with murder.
421
00:36:33,970 --> 00:36:36,410
Six kids on the way
to the beach.
422
00:36:36,450 --> 00:36:39,500
The driver, he lost control
and went off the Canyon Road.
423
00:36:39,540 --> 00:36:41,800
He's okay.
Minor injuries.
424
00:36:41,850 --> 00:36:43,540
He killed all five
of his friends.
425
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,850
'This one was
forced out of control'
426
00:36:47,900 --> 00:36:50,120
in front of a truck
that couldn't stop.
427
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,990
Three fatalities.
428
00:36:53,030 --> 00:36:55,030
One four-year-old child.
429
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,470
The guy who cut him off..
430
00:36:57,510 --> 00:36:58,780
...never even stopped.
431
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,260
'Attention, all units in the
vicinity of Veteran and Slawson'
432
00:37:06,310 --> 00:37:07,790
'possible 11-44.'
433
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,400
Come on, Barney.
Get in. Let's roll.
434
00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:20,150
LA 15,
7 Mary 4 responding.
435
00:37:20,190 --> 00:37:21,150
Hey, Barney!
436
00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:24,150
- Come on, get in.
437
00:37:57,790 --> 00:37:58,710
'Two cars involved.'
438
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,490
'15 SA, 10-39
at the office.'
439
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,580
'15 6 Adam, 11-25.'
440
00:38:06,630 --> 00:38:08,590
'Stalled vehicle in
the number one lane.'
441
00:38:08,630 --> 00:38:11,070
'East bound,
Santa Monica freeway..'
442
00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:44,100
Come on, Sheik. Let's go.
Come on! They need help.
443
00:38:44,140 --> 00:38:46,320
Hurry up.
Will you move it?
444
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,290
- Yeah.
445
00:39:00,330 --> 00:39:01,680
I'll need the portapower
and some chain.
446
00:39:01,730 --> 00:39:02,730
It's in the second compartment
447
00:39:02,770 --> 00:39:03,950
right side of the truck.
448
00:39:04,990 --> 00:39:06,900
Sheik, come here.
449
00:39:06,950 --> 00:39:09,300
Your Highness, come here.
450
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,170
Barney, come here!
451
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,880
Now, you hold this up high.
452
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,150
Is he going to live?
453
00:39:36,190 --> 00:39:37,810
He's got a 60-40 chance.
454
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,600
I see you have
royalty with you.
455
00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:54,560
What's he doing?
456
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,300
Sightseeing.
457
00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:57,870
Not pretty.
458
00:39:57,910 --> 00:40:00,390
Say, Jon, you mind
taking the statements here?
459
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,920
I'll do the hospital
follow-up.
460
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:05,220
Alright.
You're faded.
461
00:40:05,270 --> 00:40:07,140
- See you later.
- You bet.
462
00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:35,380
I lost my temper at him.
463
00:40:35,430 --> 00:40:36,560
I think it did some good.
464
00:40:38,390 --> 00:40:39,820
Sometimes that's the only way.
465
00:40:45,570 --> 00:40:46,920
Just hang on, old man.
466
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:49,570
'You're in excellent hands.'
467
00:41:03,630 --> 00:41:05,500
'So be on the lookout
for car clouters'
468
00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:08,420
'shaking down
any abandoned vehicles.'
469
00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:10,420
'Okay, I guess
that's everything.'
470
00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:13,510
Oh, uh, one more thing.
471
00:41:13,550 --> 00:41:17,120
Regulations state that
accepting gifts or gratuities
472
00:41:17,170 --> 00:41:19,910
is strictly prohibited.
473
00:41:19,950 --> 00:41:21,560
Okay, hit your beats.
474
00:41:27,870 --> 00:41:29,790
Well, I hope
you two are aware
475
00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:32,960
that that last little bit
was meant for you.
476
00:41:33,010 --> 00:41:35,140
- Yep.
477
00:41:35,180 --> 00:41:36,880
The only gift I ever got
was from a guy
478
00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,010
I helped change a tire.
479
00:41:39,060 --> 00:41:42,020
Gave me a tip on a horse..
480
00:41:42,060 --> 00:41:44,710
...and the donkey
ran dead last.
481
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,980
Well, if I were you,
I'd check the parking lot out
482
00:41:48,020 --> 00:41:49,980
before you
engrave it in stone.
483
00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:51,630
- Yep.
484
00:42:04,210 --> 00:42:05,950
Whoo!
485
00:42:11,310 --> 00:42:13,570
Wow!
486
00:42:13,610 --> 00:42:14,660
Beautiful, aren't they?
487
00:42:16,790 --> 00:42:19,140
Yeah, but they
do look like gifts.
488
00:42:19,180 --> 00:42:20,970
They couldn't be for us.
489
00:42:21,010 --> 00:42:22,360
Uh, read the cards.
490
00:42:24,620 --> 00:42:27,840
Hey, Jon, this one
is addressed to you.
491
00:42:29,370 --> 00:42:30,370
Oh, yeah?
492
00:42:37,030 --> 00:42:40,600
Yeah, well, uh...
this one's yours.
493
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:41,550
Hmm.
494
00:42:44,210 --> 00:42:45,470
Pink slips.
495
00:42:45,510 --> 00:42:47,690
Huh. "Sheik Barney."
496
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,700
I don't know, Jon.
497
00:42:53,740 --> 00:42:55,570
An SE's a little
more car than I want.
498
00:42:55,610 --> 00:42:58,660
Yeah, well, you think you'd like
the 450 SL a little better?
499
00:43:02,050 --> 00:43:03,010
It's yours.
500
00:43:07,670 --> 00:43:09,060
Whoo!
501
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:57,190
Ah...but why?
502
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:00,070
These are not bribes.
503
00:44:00,110 --> 00:44:02,850
These are gifts
of gratitude
504
00:44:02,900 --> 00:44:05,640
from friend to friend.
505
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,380
You made me..
How do you say?
506
00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:10,430
You made me open my eyes
and see things.
507
00:44:10,470 --> 00:44:12,380
You made me see myself.
508
00:44:12,430 --> 00:44:14,820
All I wanted to do
was thank you.
509
00:44:14,860 --> 00:44:18,170
Well, we can't accept them.
They're gifts.
510
00:44:18,220 --> 00:44:20,000
But in America, we place
511
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:24,610
a very high price
on a handshake.
512
00:44:24,660 --> 00:44:26,010
Ah..
513
00:44:28,230 --> 00:44:30,180
Well..
514
00:44:30,230 --> 00:44:31,580
Well..
515
00:44:31,620 --> 00:44:35,840
At least, I can say
that from now on..
516
00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:37,410
...I'm going to drive
the limousine.
517
00:44:37,450 --> 00:44:39,980
Rather, my staff is
going to drive it for me.
518
00:44:40,020 --> 00:44:41,980
No more hot-rodding
in the Ferrari.
519
00:44:42,020 --> 00:44:43,630
Well, that's very good.
520
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,860
Uh, one more thing.
521
00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:52,550
Control your temper.
522
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,780
And always try to be
cool, calm and friendly.
523
00:44:55,820 --> 00:44:58,210
Yes, yes.
Cool, calm and friendly.
524
00:44:58,260 --> 00:44:59,260
Yes.
525
00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:01,690
See you, Barney.
526
00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:24,630
Why, that two-faced,
double-talking liar!
527
00:45:24,670 --> 00:45:26,240
Watch your temper, Ponch.
528
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,850
I'm mad and I admit it!
529
00:45:40,950 --> 00:45:43,260
I've had it with this cat. I'm
going to throw the book at him.
530
00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:44,820
I'm gonna take him
off the street.
531
00:45:44,870 --> 00:45:46,520
- Immunity or no immunity--
- Hey, Ponch, uh...
532
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,620
Well, at last you're
here to do your duty.
533
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,360
I've been speeding
all over your beat.
534
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,010
I have a ticket from Baricza.
535
00:46:00,060 --> 00:46:03,060
I have one from Grossman.
I have one from Cahill.
536
00:46:03,100 --> 00:46:05,110
I have one from Fritz.
537
00:46:05,150 --> 00:46:06,500
Where have you been?
538
00:46:06,540 --> 00:46:08,330
Look, you didn't
have to go speeding.
539
00:46:08,370 --> 00:46:11,590
You could have
called me tonight.
540
00:46:11,630 --> 00:46:13,680
I'll be gone by tonight.
541
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:16,120
I'm flying
to Paris at 4:00.
542
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:17,510
To Paris
543
00:46:17,550 --> 00:46:19,680
Well, Barney's younger brother
is in trouble
544
00:46:19,730 --> 00:46:22,470
and the Sheik wants me
to try to straighten him out.
545
00:46:24,390 --> 00:46:26,870
Do you care to join me?
546
00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:29,870
Yeah, sure.
Jon speaks French.
547
00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,440
Anyway, I'll write you.
548
00:46:35,660 --> 00:46:37,490
And I'll expect replies.
549
00:46:37,530 --> 00:46:38,620
Oh, that's a deal.
550
00:46:40,310 --> 00:46:42,530
'Hey, hey, hey!'
551
00:46:42,580 --> 00:46:45,840
Hold it, now.
Ponch, that's a gift.
552
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:47,320
Well, come on.
You're gonna have to return it.
553
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,200
What do you want me
to do with these tickets?
554
00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,030
Let the consulate
handle them.
555
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,580
A really special type.
556
00:47:24,620 --> 00:47:26,930
Yeah, but, uh...
blew your cool.
557
00:47:28,670 --> 00:47:29,890
Oh, wait a minute, man.
558
00:47:29,930 --> 00:47:31,370
That was before I knew
it was her.
559
00:47:31,410 --> 00:47:34,630
Nah, "I'm mad" you said.
"I admit it."
560
00:47:34,670 --> 00:47:37,590
So I owe you another quarter.
561
00:47:37,630 --> 00:47:39,160
Yeah, well, uh,
I'll take it.
39265
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