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1
00:00:33,475 --> 00:00:35,343
Shoppers already?
2
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,922
Hey, Monty,
I'm getting outta here, man.
3
00:00:36,946 --> 00:00:38,246
It's Thanksgiving.
4
00:00:40,149 --> 00:00:42,484
What time did they start
showing up last year?
5
00:00:43,686 --> 00:00:45,888
- About noon.
- Noon?
6
00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:50,659
Freaking vultures!
7
00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,482
Oh, shit.
8
00:01:46,281 --> 00:01:47,817
What the fuck is that?
9
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:20,415
Monty.
10
00:02:20,482 --> 00:02:23,518
Yo, Monty!
11
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,062
Oh, what the fuck, Monty?
12
00:02:33,129 --> 00:02:35,363
You had one job.
13
00:02:35,430 --> 00:02:36,933
Jesus Christ.
14
00:02:39,769 --> 00:02:42,872
Monty?
15
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,561
All right, influencers,
time to go.
16
00:04:46,628 --> 00:04:49,298
Come on.
Mom's is boring.
17
00:04:49,365 --> 00:04:51,701
Mom's house isn't boring.
18
00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:54,602
Her and Grant are...
19
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,305
well, they're kinda lame.
20
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:58,874
- He uses Axe body spray.
- I know.
21
00:04:58,941 --> 00:05:01,310
And he farts,
like, all the time.
22
00:05:01,377 --> 00:05:03,679
Come on, Dad.
We had Thanksgiving breakfast.
23
00:05:03,746 --> 00:05:05,848
Talk about sad.
24
00:05:05,915 --> 00:05:07,016
Mom's waiting. Let's go.
25
00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:09,251
Come on, let's go.
Come on, kiddo.
26
00:05:11,619 --> 00:05:13,298
Why do you have to work
on Thanksgiving, Dad?
27
00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:14,957
It's not fair.
28
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,661
Listen, kiddo.
29
00:05:19,729 --> 00:05:22,465
Heroes work on the holidays,
okay?
30
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:25,701
Cops, firefighters, your dad.
31
00:05:27,803 --> 00:05:29,637
Come on.
Come on, let's go.
32
00:05:29,705 --> 00:05:31,073
- Come on.
- I love you, Daddy.
33
00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,142
I love you too, baby.
Give me a big hug.
34
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,977
Oh, big squishes.
35
00:05:36,112 --> 00:05:37,747
Hey, hey.
36
00:05:37,813 --> 00:05:41,417
Grant does not work today.
37
00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:43,919
Take that for what you will,
okay?
38
00:05:43,986 --> 00:05:46,288
Okay, get out here.
Love you. I love you.
39
00:05:50,159 --> 00:05:52,194
That's a sweater, huh?
40
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,951
Has anyone seen
my hand sanitizer?
41
00:06:16,018 --> 00:06:18,054
Uh, check the drawer
in the foyer.
42
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,022
Yeah, maybe check
that shithole you call a room.
43
00:06:21,157 --> 00:06:22,597
- Hey, pass the pie, will ya?
- Yeah.
44
00:06:22,657 --> 00:06:24,060
Hey, has anyone seen a new one?
45
00:06:24,126 --> 00:06:25,126
Uh, check the...
46
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:26,529
Oh! My pocket's got it.
47
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,739
Honey, I think your ride's here.
48
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:28,697
Christopher,
we're trying to enjoy
49
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,366
Thanksgiving dinner, okay?
50
00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:33,436
- You have to work all weekend?
- I don't know.
51
00:06:33,502 --> 00:06:35,204
Is Dad still charging me rent?
52
00:06:36,739 --> 00:06:38,441
All weekend. I love you guys.
53
00:06:38,507 --> 00:06:40,042
Happy Thanksgiving, honey.
54
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,079
Happy Black Friday.
55
00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:58,660
Coming to the ring,
weighing 35 pounds,
56
00:06:58,727 --> 00:07:00,763
looking like
an absolute vegetarian...
57
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,031
Whoo-whoo-whoo!
58
00:07:02,098 --> 00:07:04,066
Chris Godecki!
59
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,636
What's up, buddy?
60
00:07:08,704 --> 00:07:10,406
Come on.
Turn that frown upside down.
61
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:13,242
You look like you don't want
to be working on Thanksgiving.
62
00:07:13,309 --> 00:07:14,944
Oh, nice booster seat.
63
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,879
Got any juice boxes
for after the game?
64
00:07:18,114 --> 00:07:20,516
The booster seat's for you,
little man.
65
00:07:28,057 --> 00:07:29,417
I hate that this shift
is something
66
00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:30,826
I've done more than once.
67
00:07:32,128 --> 00:07:34,063
So you're feeling good, then?
68
00:07:34,130 --> 00:07:35,807
It's like, everyone's at home
watching football,
69
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,466
eating pumpkin pie.
70
00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:38,734
This is so depressing.
71
00:07:38,801 --> 00:07:41,003
Buddy, I had to hand my kids off
72
00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:43,506
to their mother at sundown.
73
00:07:43,572 --> 00:07:47,109
Gracie remarked how sad it was
we had Thanksgiving breakfast.
74
00:07:49,945 --> 00:07:51,881
That almost makes me
feel better.
75
00:07:51,947 --> 00:07:54,450
We Luv Toys
loves Black Friday deals,
76
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,385
so come on down!
77
00:08:02,258 --> 00:08:03,259
That's weird.
78
00:08:03,325 --> 00:08:04,693
Why would they
be closed tonight?
79
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,596
Whoa! Whoa!
80
00:08:07,662 --> 00:08:09,265
I guarantee that was
some soccer mom
81
00:08:09,331 --> 00:08:11,634
high on the thrill
of being a douche.
82
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,403
- Black Friday massacre.
- Yeah.
83
00:08:21,343 --> 00:08:23,512
Oh, I don't...
I don't feel good.
84
00:08:23,579 --> 00:08:25,447
You're fine.
85
00:08:38,327 --> 00:08:41,063
Go clock in. You don't want
to talk to me for free.
86
00:08:41,130 --> 00:08:42,765
Ready for the shit show?
87
00:08:42,831 --> 00:08:44,633
What's up, man?
88
00:08:54,777 --> 00:08:56,145
I'd say be careful,
89
00:08:56,212 --> 00:08:58,414
but I bet you're tougher
than any guy here.
90
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,449
You're too sweet.
91
00:09:00,516 --> 00:09:01,685
All set in the back?
92
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,185
Should be. Keys are in the truck
93
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:05,354
and I've got
a shit ton of toys to unload.
94
00:09:05,421 --> 00:09:07,356
Thanks, Lou.
Your work's appreciated.
95
00:09:11,227 --> 00:09:12,604
Thought we said
we weren't gonna wear
96
00:09:12,628 --> 00:09:14,129
the same outfits tonight.
97
00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:16,700
Man, I guess
you should just go home, then.
98
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,201
Huh. Don't tempt me.
99
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,879
You brought the shopping
carts back in, right?
100
00:09:20,903 --> 00:09:22,771
Yeah, you bet.
101
00:09:25,307 --> 00:09:26,375
Knock, knock.
102
00:09:27,843 --> 00:09:29,445
Who's there?
103
00:09:29,511 --> 00:09:30,579
A doughnut.
104
00:09:30,646 --> 00:09:32,314
A doughnut who?
105
00:09:34,149 --> 00:09:36,218
I doughnut fucking believe you.
106
00:09:38,087 --> 00:09:40,256
We still on
for pancakes tonight?
107
00:09:40,322 --> 00:09:41,890
Are you buying?
108
00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:43,401
I don't think
we've ever been introduced.
109
00:09:43,425 --> 00:09:45,761
I'm the artist formerly known
as half to my ex.
110
00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:51,533
Hey,
let me get my holiday bonus.
111
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,835
Nice try, Bates,
112
00:09:52,901 --> 00:09:54,903
but you get it
when you clock out at 6:00.
113
00:09:56,205 --> 00:09:57,873
6:00?
114
00:09:57,940 --> 00:10:01,910
That's a ten-hour descent
into hell!
115
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,312
Oh, my back.
116
00:10:04,446 --> 00:10:05,514
We've got "I-View Sky"
117
00:10:05,581 --> 00:10:07,349
reporting
on tonight's meteor showers.
118
00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:09,451
We've got tips on how to snap
119
00:10:09,518 --> 00:10:11,320
the perfect meteor...
120
00:10:11,387 --> 00:10:13,164
It's okay to be sad,
depressed, and even suicidal.
121
00:10:13,188 --> 00:10:14,499
Toy does not come
with any chokeable parts
122
00:10:14,523 --> 00:10:16,101
- or pieces that can be...
- Thanks, Sandy.
123
00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,526
And reports are telling us now
124
00:10:17,593 --> 00:10:19,628
people should go nowhere
near these things.
125
00:10:19,696 --> 00:10:22,231
And Chucky says
we're all going to die.
126
00:10:22,298 --> 00:10:24,466
Alice, who really told you that?
127
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,469
Corporate sent cake?
128
00:10:27,536 --> 00:10:28,837
You don't have to eat it.
129
00:10:28,904 --> 00:10:30,639
It's just nice
to know they... care.
130
00:10:30,707 --> 00:10:32,742
They don't care about shit.
131
00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:33,985
I'll take it
to the storage area.
132
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:35,844
Archie's guys will eat it.
133
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,854
Yo, Godecki,
you see the line out there?
134
00:10:47,489 --> 00:10:50,059
Yeah, it's like something
out of my nightmares.
135
00:10:50,826 --> 00:10:52,227
Are you kidding me?
Old man Peruso
136
00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:54,163
offered to give me
a handy in the back alley
137
00:10:54,229 --> 00:10:56,265
if I promised
to save him a Dour Dennis.
138
00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,201
Congrats.
139
00:11:00,602 --> 00:11:02,104
Christopher.
140
00:11:02,171 --> 00:11:03,639
Happy Black Friday, Anita.
141
00:11:03,707 --> 00:11:06,241
Green Friday.
142
00:11:06,308 --> 00:11:07,242
What?
143
00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:09,211
Corporate said
Black Friday was racist,
144
00:11:09,278 --> 00:11:11,748
so they changed it
to Green Friday.
145
00:11:11,815 --> 00:11:14,684
Green like Christmas and money.
146
00:11:14,751 --> 00:11:16,251
Good to know.
147
00:11:17,787 --> 00:11:20,122
Your undershirt is untucked.
148
00:11:21,123 --> 00:11:23,092
That's grounds for a write-up.
149
00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,266
Hey, guys.
150
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,635
Hey, Daddy's at work. Look.
151
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:36,071
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
152
00:11:42,611 --> 00:11:45,214
- Jesus fucking Christ, man.
- Come on, please.
153
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,049
- Fuck.
- Bathroom.
154
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:49,518
- Okay, okay.
- I'm parking a Buick, man.
155
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:51,320
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
156
00:11:51,387 --> 00:11:53,690
It's in the back room, okay?
157
00:12:07,871 --> 00:12:09,706
Black Friday.
158
00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:11,640
What a bunch of suckers.
159
00:12:23,218 --> 00:12:24,821
Shit!
160
00:12:27,857 --> 00:12:29,425
Yo, Chris!
161
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,296
Yo, Chris, open up!
I'm locked out here again, bro.
162
00:12:36,665 --> 00:12:38,434
Chris, come on!
163
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,278
Don't make me take the main
entrance with those...
164
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,438
Shoppers.
165
00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:49,343
My man.
166
00:12:49,378 --> 00:12:51,113
You know I hold things down.
167
00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:54,216
That's "hold you down."
168
00:12:54,283 --> 00:12:56,452
I'll... I'll get it, I swear.
169
00:12:56,518 --> 00:12:58,120
Thank you.
170
00:12:58,187 --> 00:13:00,289
How about a nonsexual back rub?
171
00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:02,024
Please don't.
172
00:13:02,090 --> 00:13:03,793
All right.
173
00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:06,195
More for me then, right?
174
00:13:06,261 --> 00:13:08,397
You see they gave Anita
employee of the month again?
175
00:13:09,298 --> 00:13:11,200
Yeah, I saw that.
176
00:13:11,266 --> 00:13:13,235
Fucking Jonathan, right?
177
00:13:13,302 --> 00:13:15,537
I came in early five times
this pay period.
178
00:13:15,604 --> 00:13:17,740
He made me learn how to work
a fucking forklift
179
00:13:17,807 --> 00:13:19,241
all for nothing.
180
00:13:19,308 --> 00:13:20,409
It might come in handy
181
00:13:20,476 --> 00:13:23,312
if you ever need
to do some forklifting.
182
00:13:24,146 --> 00:13:25,815
Everybody listen up.
183
00:13:37,159 --> 00:13:41,230
Happy Black Friday, We Luv Toys.
184
00:13:41,296 --> 00:13:43,532
Some quick notes
before we open our doors.
185
00:13:43,599 --> 00:13:46,568
First off...
186
00:13:46,635 --> 00:13:48,437
From OSHA.
187
00:13:48,504 --> 00:13:50,807
Uh, statistically
when it comes to retail,
188
00:13:50,874 --> 00:13:54,543
there's no day more harmful to
retail workers than this day.
189
00:13:54,610 --> 00:13:56,946
Remember, OSHA
changed their rules
190
00:13:57,012 --> 00:13:59,548
after somebody
was trampled to death.
191
00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:03,452
So look out for each other,
okay?
192
00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:06,221
Also, Dour Dennis
has been recalled,
193
00:14:06,288 --> 00:14:08,557
so if anybody asks for it,
we don't have it.
194
00:14:08,624 --> 00:14:09,692
We never had it.
195
00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:11,660
Some safety issue
with the battery.
196
00:14:11,728 --> 00:14:13,562
I'm not...
I'm not... I'm not doing well.
197
00:14:13,629 --> 00:14:15,373
Doing well... doing... doing...
doing well... doing well.
198
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:18,968
I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm...
I'm exhausted, exhausted.
199
00:14:19,034 --> 00:14:20,737
Uh, finally,
200
00:14:20,803 --> 00:14:24,941
um, corporate
has contacted me to inform you
201
00:14:25,008 --> 00:14:28,443
that they will not be able
to offer paid breaks tonight.
202
00:14:28,510 --> 00:14:30,412
Thank you
for your understanding.
203
00:14:30,479 --> 00:14:32,648
Fuck this.
204
00:14:34,116 --> 00:14:36,451
Let's quell this sitch, please.
205
00:14:41,390 --> 00:14:44,192
I know that this is not ideal,
206
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:47,362
but this is a really big night.
207
00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,566
I would hate for a sour mood
to ruin our sales.
208
00:14:50,632 --> 00:14:52,467
What about our holiday bonus?
209
00:14:52,534 --> 00:14:54,303
Corporate promised us
time and a half
210
00:14:54,369 --> 00:14:55,738
for the holiday weekend.
211
00:14:56,906 --> 00:14:58,540
Yes.
212
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,410
That is still...
213
00:15:01,476 --> 00:15:02,679
yes.
214
00:15:03,579 --> 00:15:05,113
All right, game faces, team.
215
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:07,215
I want smiles.
216
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,585
What do we love?
217
00:15:09,651 --> 00:15:11,086
Toys!
218
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,492
Ugh.
219
00:15:17,559 --> 00:15:21,463
I got a migra... migraine.
220
00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:23,398
My back hurts, hurts, hurts.
221
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,336
Chris, back here.
222
00:15:27,402 --> 00:15:29,471
I'm not myself.
223
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:31,841
You're on reg for the night.
224
00:15:31,908 --> 00:15:33,342
All night?
225
00:15:33,408 --> 00:15:36,478
We're short-staffed.
We need the coverage up front.
226
00:15:36,545 --> 00:15:39,247
I'm not doing well, well, well.
227
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,751
Looks like your massage
will have to wait.
228
00:15:41,818 --> 00:15:43,118
Bye, Chris.
229
00:15:43,185 --> 00:15:44,429
Yet others
are going through much worse,
230
00:15:44,453 --> 00:15:46,221
through much worse.
231
00:15:46,288 --> 00:15:48,791
Wait, Mister? Wait up.
232
00:15:51,293 --> 00:15:53,395
Marnie said I should shadow you.
233
00:15:53,462 --> 00:15:55,631
I'm Emmett,
but you can call me Em.
234
00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:58,935
No, I can't.
235
00:16:00,737 --> 00:16:02,805
You, uh...
236
00:16:02,872 --> 00:16:04,807
you ever work retail before?
237
00:16:04,874 --> 00:16:06,341
- Never.
- No?
238
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:10,545
Well, uh...
239
00:16:10,612 --> 00:16:12,481
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret
240
00:16:12,547 --> 00:16:14,951
only a pro like me knows.
241
00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:17,219
Yeah.
242
00:16:17,285 --> 00:16:20,489
When I find myself
in a pickle...
243
00:16:20,555 --> 00:16:25,862
I take a deep breath
and I think to myself...
244
00:16:25,928 --> 00:16:27,697
"What would an idiot do?"
245
00:16:27,764 --> 00:16:30,332
For example, okay?
246
00:16:30,399 --> 00:16:32,199
If some crazy lady
comes up to me and asks me,
247
00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:33,703
"Where's the Duncan yo-yos?"
248
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:35,270
I'd...
249
00:16:35,337 --> 00:16:37,205
Escort them
to the yo-yo section and then...
250
00:16:37,272 --> 00:16:38,775
No.
251
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:41,110
No. No.
You're already trying too hard.
252
00:16:41,176 --> 00:16:42,855
You point them in the direction
of fucking wherever
253
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:45,380
- and they'll find it, yeah?
- Yeah.
254
00:16:45,447 --> 00:16:46,448
- Okay?
- Yeah.
255
00:16:46,515 --> 00:16:47,750
- All right?
- Okay.
256
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:49,128
All right, get on
out of here, youngster.
257
00:16:49,152 --> 00:16:51,186
Hey, team, remember:
258
00:16:51,253 --> 00:16:53,089
no matter how bad
these suburban savages
259
00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:55,557
get under your skin,
the customer is always right.
260
00:16:55,624 --> 00:16:57,960
Whoo! Yes! It's go time.
261
00:16:58,027 --> 00:16:59,327
Places, everyone.
262
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:01,931
Smiles, please. Holiday cheer.
263
00:17:01,998 --> 00:17:08,104
I want faces that love toys.
264
00:17:08,171 --> 00:17:11,708
Brian, unleash the beast in...
265
00:17:11,774 --> 00:17:12,775
five...
266
00:17:14,177 --> 00:17:16,012
Four,
267
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,613
three,
268
00:17:18,681 --> 00:17:20,282
two.
269
00:17:20,348 --> 00:17:21,784
Go, baby!
270
00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:24,319
Go, Black Friday!
271
00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:47,009
Stop it!
272
00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:03,893
Aw, man!
273
00:18:24,914 --> 00:18:26,648
Good job.
274
00:18:29,551 --> 00:18:31,788
Thank you very much.
Happy holidays.
275
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:35,590
Will you hurry up?
276
00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:36,859
Ma'am, I'm trying.
277
00:18:36,926 --> 00:18:39,294
Oh, get it together, dickless!
278
00:18:47,136 --> 00:18:48,303
Ugh.
279
00:18:52,307 --> 00:18:54,342
Hey, my turn.
280
00:19:00,850 --> 00:19:02,651
Oh, oh!
281
00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:06,255
Oh, I must have
been good this year!
282
00:19:06,321 --> 00:19:07,957
Oh, Santa!
283
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:12,061
What's the sitch here?
284
00:19:12,128 --> 00:19:15,264
Oh, pussy boy here
is taking forever.
285
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:16,966
There's, like, jam
in the keyboard.
286
00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:18,433
Ah.
287
00:19:20,736 --> 00:19:21,780
Sorry, folks,
looks like I'm gonna
288
00:19:21,804 --> 00:19:23,239
have to shut this lane down.
289
00:19:26,309 --> 00:19:28,878
Ma'am, if you would head back
to the Santa's rear village,
290
00:19:28,945 --> 00:19:31,113
- someone will meet you there.
- Ugh!
291
00:19:31,180 --> 00:19:32,882
Dude, what the hell?
292
00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:35,184
Full discloszh,
293
00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:38,520
some guy just blew chunks
all over the ride-ons.
294
00:19:38,587 --> 00:19:40,022
You're cleaning it up.
295
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:45,094
Th-throw up? Um...
296
00:19:45,161 --> 00:19:47,129
it's... it's a little germy, no?
297
00:19:47,196 --> 00:19:49,497
What about the floor workers?
298
00:19:49,564 --> 00:19:52,467
But I thought
you preferred the floor.
299
00:19:53,736 --> 00:19:55,705
Sawdust's in the maint's closet.
300
00:20:00,042 --> 00:20:02,444
Ah, these fucking
idiot customers.
301
00:20:04,714 --> 00:20:06,215
Idiots!
302
00:20:06,282 --> 00:20:08,017
Is that what you think we are?
303
00:20:08,084 --> 00:20:09,384
Jesus Christ, lady.
304
00:20:09,451 --> 00:20:10,686
You watch your mouth, asshole,
305
00:20:10,753 --> 00:20:13,421
or I'll rip this place apart,
including you!
306
00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:17,492
I believe you.
307
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,743
Deep breaths. It's just barf.
308
00:20:33,809 --> 00:20:36,444
You don't have to touch it.
Don't breathe around it.
309
00:20:38,014 --> 00:20:39,414
Aah!
310
00:20:39,481 --> 00:20:41,483
That's way more than I expected!
311
00:20:46,188 --> 00:20:49,524
Okay, um, sir?
312
00:20:49,591 --> 00:20:51,193
Sir, let's get you some help.
313
00:20:55,965 --> 00:20:58,000
Oh! Holy shit!
314
00:21:09,979 --> 00:21:11,247
Oh, fuck!
315
00:21:20,423 --> 00:21:22,892
Chris, what the fuck?
316
00:21:22,959 --> 00:21:26,729
All customers must vacate
the premises of We Luv Toys.
317
00:21:26,796 --> 00:21:28,998
We apologize
for the inconvenience.
318
00:21:29,899 --> 00:21:32,168
All customers must vacate
the premises...
319
00:21:32,234 --> 00:21:34,136
Yo, took me two years,
320
00:21:34,203 --> 00:21:35,681
but I finally got
the hang of this thing.
321
00:21:35,705 --> 00:21:36,872
Look at that.
322
00:21:36,939 --> 00:21:38,341
Whoa, whoa, watch this,
watch this.
323
00:21:38,407 --> 00:21:40,242
Oh!
324
00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:42,712
So what exactly happened
with that Chris guy?
325
00:21:44,479 --> 00:21:46,082
I don't know.
326
00:21:46,148 --> 00:21:48,851
I think he smashed some woman
with a mini pink SUV.
327
00:21:53,155 --> 00:21:54,991
Right.
328
00:21:58,761 --> 00:21:59,962
Um, ma'am, I'm sorry,
329
00:22:00,029 --> 00:22:01,931
but we're actually
closing early tonight.
330
00:22:05,968 --> 00:22:08,004
What happened?
331
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:09,537
I don't know.
332
00:22:09,604 --> 00:22:11,974
Came out,
and it was a fucking disaster.
333
00:22:14,509 --> 00:22:16,879
Okay. Go check it out.
334
00:22:16,946 --> 00:22:18,314
I'll keep an eye on Chris.
335
00:22:19,782 --> 00:22:21,150
I'll be back.
336
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,594
I told you guys.
337
00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:35,464
I am sorry
that I crushed that woman.
338
00:22:35,530 --> 00:22:37,632
But...
339
00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:39,301
Check the security footage!
340
00:22:39,368 --> 00:22:41,270
We don't have to check shit.
341
00:22:41,337 --> 00:22:43,172
This is a citizen's arrest.
342
00:22:45,274 --> 00:22:48,543
There is something
really wrong out there.
343
00:22:48,610 --> 00:22:51,414
Yes, something is really wrong.
344
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,049
We're one hour into Black Friday
345
00:22:53,115 --> 00:22:55,751
and we're escorting customers
away from the store?
346
00:22:55,818 --> 00:22:57,619
Yeah,
of course that's his concern.
347
00:22:57,686 --> 00:23:01,223
No, no, no, Marnie, wait.
Please, you have to believe me.
348
00:23:01,290 --> 00:23:03,225
She attacked me.
349
00:23:03,292 --> 00:23:04,659
Ask Archie.
350
00:23:04,727 --> 00:23:06,604
Archie went to go check
on that nasty puke bitch
351
00:23:06,628 --> 00:23:09,298
you attempted to murder.
352
00:23:09,365 --> 00:23:12,201
You're going to jail, Chris.
353
00:23:14,170 --> 00:23:16,105
Uh, miss?
354
00:23:17,572 --> 00:23:19,341
Oh, oh, my God.
355
00:23:21,177 --> 00:23:22,610
No, no, no!
356
00:23:22,678 --> 00:23:24,246
Aah! No!
357
00:23:28,050 --> 00:23:29,617
Shit!
358
00:23:35,991 --> 00:23:37,659
Come on, kid. Let's go!
359
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:47,036
What the hell
is going on out there?
360
00:23:47,103 --> 00:23:48,904
This is some
next-level bath salt shit.
361
00:23:48,971 --> 00:23:51,207
No, it's just Black Friday.
362
00:23:51,273 --> 00:23:52,808
Excitement is in the air.
363
00:23:52,875 --> 00:23:54,376
- Green Friday.
- That's right.
364
00:23:54,443 --> 00:23:56,745
Green Friday, baby.
It's all part of the fun.
365
00:23:56,812 --> 00:23:58,714
It's known
as competitive shopping.
366
00:23:58,781 --> 00:24:01,649
Anita got a black eye last year
and she took it like a champ.
367
00:24:01,717 --> 00:24:02,985
No, no. Fuck that.
368
00:24:03,052 --> 00:24:05,087
Some woman just attacked Emmett.
369
00:24:05,154 --> 00:24:07,523
It's like she wasn't
a person anymore.
370
00:24:07,590 --> 00:24:09,492
I hit her
with a fucking skateboard.
371
00:24:09,558 --> 00:24:10,860
She didn't even feel it.
372
00:24:12,027 --> 00:24:14,230
- Try calling the cops.
- Oh, no. No.
373
00:24:14,296 --> 00:24:16,465
Do not call the cops.
374
00:24:16,532 --> 00:24:17,800
Are you kidding?
375
00:24:17,867 --> 00:24:19,969
You call the cops,
and this place shuts down.
376
00:24:20,035 --> 00:24:21,237
Now, if we work efficiently,
377
00:24:21,303 --> 00:24:23,205
we can reopen by maybe 2:00 a.m.
378
00:24:23,272 --> 00:24:25,808
Reopen? Are you insane?
379
00:24:25,875 --> 00:24:28,811
Line's busy.
I got their voice mail.
380
00:24:28,878 --> 00:24:30,422
Did you know the police
had a voice mail?
381
00:24:30,446 --> 00:24:32,348
This is the biggest night
of the year, okay?
382
00:24:32,414 --> 00:24:35,918
Corporate expects us to do
six figures this weekend.
383
00:24:35,985 --> 00:24:37,820
I'm sure corporate
will understand.
384
00:24:37,887 --> 00:24:39,488
Relax. Okay?
385
00:24:39,555 --> 00:24:42,291
I know we all want to go home.
It's a holiday.
386
00:24:42,358 --> 00:24:44,527
Blardy blardy blar.
Let me tell you something...
387
00:24:44,593 --> 00:24:46,328
What was wrong with that lady?
388
00:24:46,395 --> 00:24:48,063
Am I gonna be okay?
389
00:24:53,702 --> 00:24:55,905
Hey, bud.
390
00:24:55,971 --> 00:24:57,473
Can I get you anything?
391
00:24:57,540 --> 00:24:58,841
Oh, man.
392
00:24:58,908 --> 00:25:01,343
There is something wrong
with the shoppers.
393
00:25:01,410 --> 00:25:02,478
Christopher,
394
00:25:02,545 --> 00:25:05,681
you are not supposed
to provoke the customers.
395
00:25:05,748 --> 00:25:07,783
The training video says...
396
00:25:07,850 --> 00:25:10,286
♪ Leave them be
and then you'll see ♪
397
00:25:10,352 --> 00:25:13,556
♪ The love of toys
is all we need ♪
398
00:25:13,622 --> 00:25:17,826
Anita, please shut the fuck up!
399
00:25:19,728 --> 00:25:22,198
You wonder why you never
get Employee of the Month.
400
00:25:22,264 --> 00:25:24,066
You know what?
401
00:25:24,133 --> 00:25:25,601
No one gives a flying fuck
402
00:25:25,668 --> 00:25:28,204
about your training videos
or your plaques, Anita.
403
00:25:28,270 --> 00:25:32,074
Oh, I know you don't,
but there are those who do.
404
00:25:32,141 --> 00:25:35,411
The ones who don't care
are the ones like you two,
405
00:25:35,477 --> 00:25:39,448
'cause you have squandered
every single opportunity
406
00:25:39,515 --> 00:25:42,985
that life has handed to you
to do a subpar job
407
00:25:43,052 --> 00:25:45,689
ringing people up at We Luv Toys
408
00:25:45,754 --> 00:25:47,856
for the rest of your life!
409
00:25:50,025 --> 00:25:51,102
Stand back. Stand back.
Stand back.
410
00:25:51,126 --> 00:25:52,696
I got this. I got this.
411
00:25:52,761 --> 00:25:54,730
Hey, buddy. You all right?
412
00:25:54,797 --> 00:25:55,965
Here, come here. Come here.
413
00:25:56,031 --> 00:25:57,766
Hey, buddy. Hey. Okay.
414
00:25:57,833 --> 00:25:59,501
Okay. Spit it out.
415
00:25:59,568 --> 00:26:01,270
Holy fuck!
416
00:26:01,337 --> 00:26:03,205
Uh, okay. All right.
417
00:26:03,272 --> 00:26:05,874
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay. Hey.
418
00:26:05,941 --> 00:26:08,043
Somebody get me
a fucking pillow!
419
00:26:10,246 --> 00:26:12,848
- Okay. Okay. Fuck!
- Move!
420
00:26:12,915 --> 00:26:15,317
Okay. Okay.
421
00:26:15,384 --> 00:26:17,620
The handbook says
we're not really supposed
422
00:26:17,687 --> 00:26:19,355
to make physical contact.
423
00:26:36,105 --> 00:26:38,307
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
424
00:26:38,374 --> 00:26:40,242
Okay, okay! Enough!
Enough! Enough!
425
00:26:40,309 --> 00:26:42,511
Protect me.
426
00:26:42,578 --> 00:26:44,748
Oh, God!
427
00:26:44,813 --> 00:26:47,616
Hey, corporate sent that!
428
00:26:47,684 --> 00:26:48,984
Back the fuck up, homey!
429
00:26:49,051 --> 00:26:50,586
Hey!
430
00:26:50,653 --> 00:26:52,421
You're fucked now, Junior!
431
00:26:52,488 --> 00:26:54,790
Sit your ass down.
432
00:27:00,730 --> 00:27:02,031
Was that the new guy?
433
00:27:09,238 --> 00:27:10,606
Hello?
434
00:27:10,673 --> 00:27:12,875
Anyone?
435
00:27:12,941 --> 00:27:14,678
Bartlett won't pick up.
436
00:27:14,744 --> 00:27:15,854
We've got to separate that kid
437
00:27:15,878 --> 00:27:17,279
from the rest of the shoppers.
438
00:27:17,346 --> 00:27:19,124
You know, the first time
I worked Black Friday,
439
00:27:19,148 --> 00:27:21,884
they separated shoppers by race.
440
00:27:23,118 --> 00:27:26,488
Oh, great time
for that story, Ruth!
441
00:27:26,555 --> 00:27:28,257
Great time for that.
442
00:27:28,324 --> 00:27:30,592
That's it.
It's not safe in here.
443
00:27:30,659 --> 00:27:32,796
- Can someone please untie me?
- Schaumburg answered.
444
00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,296
I got Schaumburg.
445
00:27:35,898 --> 00:27:37,499
Hello, Schaumburg.
446
00:27:37,566 --> 00:27:39,401
This is Jonathan Wexler,
manager of store...
447
00:27:39,468 --> 00:27:41,036
Hello? Hello?
448
00:27:41,103 --> 00:27:43,572
Oh, thank God.
Our shoppers are going crazy.
449
00:27:43,639 --> 00:27:46,942
They're attacking us.
We can't get out!
450
00:27:47,009 --> 00:27:48,644
Wait. What?
451
00:27:48,712 --> 00:27:49,978
Listen to me.
452
00:27:50,045 --> 00:27:51,748
Whatever you do,
don't let them in.
453
00:27:51,815 --> 00:27:54,751
And for the love of God,
don't let them gather.
454
00:27:54,818 --> 00:27:56,218
They're building something.
455
00:27:56,285 --> 00:27:57,453
What?
456
00:27:57,519 --> 00:27:59,723
Get... I need...
just don't let them gather!
457
00:27:59,789 --> 00:28:01,090
- Don't let them...
- Hello?
458
00:28:02,458 --> 00:28:03,892
Hello!
459
00:28:03,959 --> 00:28:06,195
Okay, hang up.
460
00:28:07,196 --> 00:28:09,565
Oh, we gotta do something.
461
00:28:10,165 --> 00:28:12,968
I mean, dying in a toy store
isn't how it ends for me.
462
00:28:14,636 --> 00:28:16,638
Does anyone have a car
big enough to fit us all?
463
00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:19,776
Dad-mobile.
464
00:28:19,843 --> 00:28:22,244
Fits seven, but, you know,
we could all squeeze.
465
00:28:22,311 --> 00:28:24,146
- Ew.
- Brian, don't start.
466
00:28:24,213 --> 00:28:25,881
Ken's truck won't be enough.
467
00:28:25,948 --> 00:28:27,225
There's people
on the sales floor.
468
00:28:27,249 --> 00:28:28,689
So we gotta make
a run for it, right?
469
00:28:28,718 --> 00:28:30,285
Do we?
470
00:28:30,352 --> 00:28:31,731
We don't even know what these
things are or what they want.
471
00:28:31,755 --> 00:28:33,088
They want to hurt us.
472
00:28:33,155 --> 00:28:36,225
Oh, yeah, speaking of,
can someone please untie me?
473
00:28:37,393 --> 00:28:39,228
Ruth can't run.
474
00:28:39,294 --> 00:28:43,365
Survival of the fittest...
and non-geriatric.
475
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:45,601
Those things are the fittest.
476
00:28:45,667 --> 00:28:47,436
You saw Emmett.
477
00:28:47,503 --> 00:28:50,105
We have to stay here
and protect ourselves.
478
00:28:50,172 --> 00:28:52,374
Who knows where else
this is happening?
479
00:28:52,441 --> 00:28:55,544
I say we get everyone
together on the sales floor,
480
00:28:55,611 --> 00:28:58,480
lock the doors, hang tight
till this shit cools off.
481
00:29:00,449 --> 00:29:02,918
You guys are gonna feel dumb
when this all blows over.
482
00:29:07,556 --> 00:29:10,459
Jonathan,
this isn't blowing over.
483
00:29:12,594 --> 00:29:15,264
You know, the company
sends me this cheap champagne
484
00:29:15,330 --> 00:29:17,166
for making our sales goals.
485
00:29:17,232 --> 00:29:21,570
Now, they expect me
to generate revenue tonight.
486
00:29:21,637 --> 00:29:23,439
That's my job.
487
00:29:25,007 --> 00:29:27,543
Your job is to be our manager.
488
00:29:27,609 --> 00:29:31,213
Protect us. Manage us.
489
00:29:32,648 --> 00:29:34,149
I can't.
490
00:29:41,190 --> 00:29:42,190
Let's move. Come on.
491
00:29:42,224 --> 00:29:43,992
Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
492
00:29:47,396 --> 00:29:49,699
Find anyone you can and
reconvene at the service desk.
493
00:29:49,766 --> 00:29:50,876
Oh, and look out for Emmett.
494
00:29:50,900 --> 00:29:53,837
The less we have to interact
with the shoppers...
495
00:29:53,903 --> 00:29:55,070
the better.
496
00:29:55,137 --> 00:29:56,472
Where is everyb... oh.
497
00:29:56,538 --> 00:29:58,006
Shh.
498
00:30:10,652 --> 00:30:12,722
How did all these shoppers
get in here?
499
00:30:14,223 --> 00:30:15,300
The team must've tried to leave
500
00:30:15,324 --> 00:30:17,392
through the employee exit.
501
00:30:17,459 --> 00:30:19,661
Who knows how many
of those things got in?
502
00:30:19,729 --> 00:30:21,363
I say we split up.
503
00:30:21,430 --> 00:30:23,766
Close that door.
Secure the store.
504
00:30:23,833 --> 00:30:26,568
Ken, you take Ruth and Marnie
through the back hall.
505
00:30:26,635 --> 00:30:28,670
Hole up in the office
until we get back.
506
00:30:28,738 --> 00:30:29,973
Yeah.
507
00:30:30,038 --> 00:30:32,074
Chris, Brian, Jonathan,
508
00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:34,276
we're gonna run recon
to that exit.
509
00:30:34,343 --> 00:30:36,345
No, no, I should be
with the other group
510
00:30:36,411 --> 00:30:39,047
'cause Brian represents me
on the sales floor.
511
00:30:40,449 --> 00:30:43,953
I will carry your grace
to the sales floor as always.
512
00:30:44,019 --> 00:30:45,019
Let's just go.
513
00:30:55,097 --> 00:30:56,457
Come on. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
514
00:31:15,284 --> 00:31:16,719
Where you going?
515
00:31:17,954 --> 00:31:18,954
To the bathroom.
516
00:31:18,988 --> 00:31:20,088
Why?
517
00:31:20,155 --> 00:31:21,691
'Cause I have to go.
518
00:31:21,758 --> 00:31:23,125
Ooh, I gotta go too.
519
00:31:23,191 --> 00:31:24,761
I've been holding it.
520
00:31:33,402 --> 00:31:36,505
Your man, so hunky.
521
00:31:36,572 --> 00:31:38,607
They don't make 'em
like that anymore.
522
00:31:38,674 --> 00:31:41,010
You know, fierce. Stern.
523
00:31:41,076 --> 00:31:43,178
A real smolder.
524
00:31:43,245 --> 00:31:45,447
Ruth, he's not my man.
We're not dating, okay?
525
00:31:45,514 --> 00:31:47,449
- Oh!
- Or... it doesn't matter.
526
00:31:47,516 --> 00:31:51,553
Oh, so... so more like
consensual fuck partners.
527
00:31:53,555 --> 00:31:54,924
Wow.
528
00:32:03,131 --> 00:32:05,267
Follow me. Stay low.
529
00:32:39,102 --> 00:32:40,703
Oh, no, no, no, no!
530
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:48,610
What part of "follow me"
did you not understand?
531
00:32:48,678 --> 00:32:50,212
Follow me.
532
00:32:54,050 --> 00:32:55,627
Hey, so let me know
if you leave the bathroom,
533
00:32:55,651 --> 00:32:57,887
'cause I can always pinch
and run, okay?
534
00:33:06,129 --> 00:33:07,964
- Gotcha!
- What are you doing?
535
00:33:08,031 --> 00:33:10,198
Getting my stash, man.
536
00:33:11,067 --> 00:33:12,702
You can't do that!
537
00:33:12,769 --> 00:33:14,269
Circumstances have changed,
Jonathan.
538
00:33:14,336 --> 00:33:15,805
That's against the code!
539
00:33:27,349 --> 00:33:29,451
- Oh, no.
- What? What's going on?
540
00:33:34,423 --> 00:33:36,092
We gotta get to that door.
541
00:33:36,159 --> 00:33:38,027
Let's go.
542
00:33:38,094 --> 00:33:39,394
Brian, step back.
543
00:33:57,579 --> 00:33:59,448
We're clear.
544
00:34:14,563 --> 00:34:16,733
All set. Come on.
545
00:34:19,068 --> 00:34:21,904
So what do we do now?
They... they got the door shut.
546
00:34:28,643 --> 00:34:30,312
What are the shoppers doing?
547
00:34:34,483 --> 00:34:37,186
Ruth, wait here.
548
00:34:37,252 --> 00:34:38,855
Okay.
549
00:35:54,596 --> 00:35:56,899
You park that Buick?
550
00:36:00,136 --> 00:36:01,170
- Johnathan!
- Shit!
551
00:36:14,917 --> 00:36:15,985
Jonathan!
552
00:36:23,458 --> 00:36:25,728
Oh!
553
00:36:53,388 --> 00:36:55,224
Are we safe up here?
554
00:36:55,291 --> 00:36:56,658
Define safe.
555
00:37:01,496 --> 00:37:03,665
Ken, come on.
556
00:37:03,733 --> 00:37:05,400
I think we were safer
in my office.
557
00:37:06,235 --> 00:37:08,204
The doors are closed.
Now we wait, yeah?
558
00:37:08,271 --> 00:37:10,206
No, no, no. We can't wait.
559
00:37:10,273 --> 00:37:12,141
I'm with her.
560
00:37:12,208 --> 00:37:14,243
Lou was in there
and he was trying to eat me
561
00:37:14,310 --> 00:37:15,778
or pull me into him.
562
00:37:15,845 --> 00:37:18,047
- He was trying to...
- Gather?
563
00:37:18,114 --> 00:37:19,414
Exactly.
564
00:37:19,481 --> 00:37:20,750
Just like Schaumburg said.
565
00:37:20,816 --> 00:37:22,361
Yeah, they're doing it
at Santa's village.
566
00:37:22,385 --> 00:37:23,652
I saw something.
567
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,063
I don't know what it was,
but I think the shoppers
568
00:37:25,087 --> 00:37:26,497
are trying to reach each other
and...
569
00:37:26,521 --> 00:37:28,623
At this point,
we're just in their way.
570
00:37:28,691 --> 00:37:30,168
We're gonna have to fight
whatever's left.
571
00:37:30,192 --> 00:37:31,559
Whoa, whoa.
572
00:37:31,626 --> 00:37:33,095
God damn it.
573
00:37:33,162 --> 00:37:34,562
What's wrong?
574
00:37:34,629 --> 00:37:36,531
I can't get dinner with my kids.
575
00:37:36,598 --> 00:37:38,633
I can't get a drink at work.
576
00:37:38,701 --> 00:37:41,737
I can't even get
a goddamn text to send.
577
00:37:43,372 --> 00:37:45,207
Uh... I'll go get that.
578
00:37:46,409 --> 00:37:48,911
You know what?
I'm getting my bonus
579
00:37:48,978 --> 00:37:50,545
and I'm getting
the fuck outta here.
580
00:37:50,612 --> 00:37:52,514
Are you fucking kidding me?
581
00:37:52,580 --> 00:37:54,016
Jonathan, give me the keys.
582
00:37:54,083 --> 00:37:55,650
Oh, uh...
583
00:37:55,718 --> 00:37:57,987
I left the keys in my office.
584
00:37:59,021 --> 00:38:00,455
Archie.
585
00:38:11,867 --> 00:38:13,601
Where's the holiday bonuses?
586
00:38:16,238 --> 00:38:18,708
Are they, like,
in your office or something?
587
00:38:18,774 --> 00:38:20,843
I thought that I told you
588
00:38:20,910 --> 00:38:24,947
that there were gonna be
no holiday bonuses this year.
589
00:38:26,182 --> 00:38:27,683
What the fuck?
590
00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:30,485
Jonathan, this is bullshit
even for you.
591
00:38:33,789 --> 00:38:35,992
That's not what you told me.
592
00:38:36,058 --> 00:38:39,462
All you said was that there'd
be layoffs after the holidays.
593
00:38:39,561 --> 00:38:43,232
Whoa! What the hell? Like who?
594
00:38:43,299 --> 00:38:45,567
I mean, fo' sho' you
with them bathroom breaks.
595
00:38:45,633 --> 00:38:47,103
I wash my fucking hands!
596
00:38:47,169 --> 00:38:48,636
This place is a cesspool!
597
00:38:48,704 --> 00:38:50,773
Hey, guys, shut up.
598
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,709
Jonathan, is this true?
599
00:38:53,776 --> 00:38:56,012
♪ Little girl ♪
600
00:38:56,078 --> 00:38:57,713
Well...
601
00:38:57,780 --> 00:39:00,683
it isn't not untrue.
602
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:03,019
- Oh, my God.
- I mean, yeah, yes, it's true.
603
00:39:06,255 --> 00:39:09,058
I quit, you fucking joke.
604
00:39:09,125 --> 00:39:10,159
For your nose.
605
00:39:12,061 --> 00:39:14,629
Ruth, get away from the window.
606
00:39:14,697 --> 00:39:16,664
No, the police are here.
607
00:39:16,732 --> 00:39:18,868
Oh, thank God!
608
00:39:30,279 --> 00:39:33,015
Hey, Brian, wait up!
609
00:39:33,082 --> 00:39:34,316
No!
610
00:39:36,584 --> 00:39:38,586
Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
611
00:39:42,258 --> 00:39:43,292
Go!
612
00:39:57,605 --> 00:39:59,742
Oh, God!
613
00:40:06,782 --> 00:40:08,017
They're all headed for that.
614
00:40:09,584 --> 00:40:11,320
What is that thing?
615
00:40:11,387 --> 00:40:12,387
Let's go.
616
00:40:16,725 --> 00:40:18,094
Chris, go.
617
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,829
No, man.
618
00:40:19,895 --> 00:40:23,199
Chris, I'ma hold you down.
619
00:40:23,265 --> 00:40:24,632
Now go. Go!
620
00:40:48,390 --> 00:40:51,360
Got your doorbusters
right here, motherfucker.
621
00:42:14,643 --> 00:42:15,711
Oh!
622
00:42:24,220 --> 00:42:25,754
Ken, block the door!
623
00:42:40,803 --> 00:42:42,071
Oh!
624
00:42:52,181 --> 00:42:54,049
They're never really dead.
625
00:42:57,453 --> 00:42:58,854
Archie?
626
00:43:02,726 --> 00:43:05,527
If they got to him,
what the hell are we gonna do?
627
00:43:05,594 --> 00:43:08,097
I don't think this night
can get any worse.
628
00:43:14,403 --> 00:43:16,905
Okay.
629
00:43:16,972 --> 00:43:18,742
Does anybody else
just think that's funny?
630
00:43:22,478 --> 00:43:24,280
How long do you think
that door will hold?
631
00:43:26,448 --> 00:43:29,485
It's the only idea we've got
and it's gotten us this far.
632
00:43:29,551 --> 00:43:31,854
It's safe for now.
633
00:43:33,122 --> 00:43:35,090
My name is Emmett,
and I have loved toys
634
00:43:35,157 --> 00:43:36,925
since the first of the month.
635
00:43:46,035 --> 00:43:48,470
I think that
that is the shortest
636
00:43:48,537 --> 00:43:49,706
anyone has ever worked here.
637
00:43:59,749 --> 00:44:03,052
I have loved toys
for eight years.
638
00:44:04,853 --> 00:44:06,822
I wanted
to be a dentist, you know.
639
00:44:09,591 --> 00:44:11,795
Ten years.
640
00:44:11,860 --> 00:44:13,329
Got laid off.
641
00:44:14,731 --> 00:44:16,598
Told my wife it'd be temporary.
642
00:44:22,071 --> 00:44:23,605
Four years.
643
00:44:25,174 --> 00:44:28,077
I'd throw my name tag
in the middle, but I lost mine.
644
00:44:31,815 --> 00:44:33,115
Two years.
645
00:44:34,116 --> 00:44:35,417
Imagine making your living
646
00:44:35,484 --> 00:44:37,119
at the place
you begged your mom and dad
647
00:44:37,186 --> 00:44:38,887
to take you to
when you were younger.
648
00:44:45,627 --> 00:44:49,365
I ran home to tell my dad
after I got hired,
649
00:44:49,431 --> 00:44:50,933
and he goes...
650
00:44:52,968 --> 00:44:55,037
"Welcome
to corporate hell, kid."
651
00:44:56,205 --> 00:44:58,842
This place isn't impressive.
652
00:44:58,907 --> 00:45:02,578
It isn't fun or magical.
653
00:45:02,644 --> 00:45:04,346
It's a prison.
654
00:45:04,413 --> 00:45:05,948
It's a ruse.
655
00:45:08,718 --> 00:45:09,985
It's a lie.
656
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:12,654
Well, that just sucks, you know,
657
00:45:12,722 --> 00:45:16,024
'cause I always saw you
as manager material.
658
00:45:19,528 --> 00:45:21,130
Shut up, Jonathan.
659
00:45:22,631 --> 00:45:27,136
You guys want to know why
I applied here 27 years ago?
660
00:45:28,137 --> 00:45:29,972
I was lonely.
661
00:45:30,038 --> 00:45:31,751
I believe that there's
a place for everyone,
662
00:45:31,775 --> 00:45:34,343
and this is my place.
663
00:45:34,410 --> 00:45:35,745
It's a place
where you have worth,
664
00:45:35,812 --> 00:45:38,180
where regional managers
call you and ask for numbers,
665
00:45:38,247 --> 00:45:40,649
where you can reprimand somebody
666
00:45:40,717 --> 00:45:43,853
and they have to listen to you.
667
00:45:43,919 --> 00:45:46,955
Where the women have to laugh
at all your corny jokes
668
00:45:47,022 --> 00:45:49,958
and even the coolest guys
have to obey.
669
00:45:51,460 --> 00:45:54,129
That's what We Luv Toys
means to me.
670
00:45:59,201 --> 00:46:01,370
That's some dark shit
right there.
671
00:46:01,437 --> 00:46:04,473
I legitimately always thought
you were a serial killer.
672
00:46:11,213 --> 00:46:12,749
I can't believe
I missed Thanksgiving
673
00:46:12,816 --> 00:46:15,517
with my family for this.
674
00:46:15,584 --> 00:46:18,688
Well, at least you were
invited to a Thanksgiving.
675
00:46:20,322 --> 00:46:23,592
I'm sorry. Truly.
676
00:46:28,230 --> 00:46:29,598
What are you doing?
677
00:46:52,621 --> 00:46:54,691
No one should be
without Thanksgiving.
678
00:46:57,961 --> 00:46:59,261
Turkey.
679
00:47:00,529 --> 00:47:02,130
Thank you.
680
00:47:02,197 --> 00:47:04,233
Cranberry.
681
00:47:05,835 --> 00:47:07,269
Football.
682
00:47:08,972 --> 00:47:10,038
Black Friday.
683
00:47:11,607 --> 00:47:13,375
Here's some Black Friday trivia.
684
00:47:14,443 --> 00:47:16,612
The phrase was first used
by Philly cops
685
00:47:16,679 --> 00:47:17,714
to describe the crowds
686
00:47:17,780 --> 00:47:20,115
and the traffic
the day after the holiday.
687
00:47:20,182 --> 00:47:22,284
Mm!
And here's some retail trivia.
688
00:47:22,351 --> 00:47:25,755
The promise of savings
is an illusion
689
00:47:25,822 --> 00:47:28,423
'cause everything they put
out there is sold at a loss
690
00:47:28,490 --> 00:47:30,492
to get you through the door.
691
00:47:30,559 --> 00:47:32,661
Things are still selling
for a high margin too.
692
00:47:32,729 --> 00:47:34,496
So yeah, sure.
693
00:47:34,563 --> 00:47:36,598
Go ahead and get
that cheap flat-screen TV,
694
00:47:36,665 --> 00:47:39,134
but now you need
the wall mount and the cables.
695
00:47:40,068 --> 00:47:41,637
Customers aren't always right.
696
00:47:41,704 --> 00:47:43,706
They just want to think
that they are.
697
00:47:44,774 --> 00:47:45,708
Jesus Christ.
698
00:47:45,775 --> 00:47:47,242
Mm.
699
00:47:47,309 --> 00:47:49,444
Well,
for our last Thanksgiving meal,
700
00:47:49,511 --> 00:47:51,814
- it sure was informative.
- No.
701
00:47:51,881 --> 00:47:54,017
Don't say that.
702
00:47:54,082 --> 00:47:55,484
Don't say this is our last.
703
00:47:55,551 --> 00:47:57,052
I think she was
just making a joke.
704
00:47:57,119 --> 00:47:58,788
No. I got two kids out there
705
00:47:58,855 --> 00:48:00,255
that I plan to see again.
706
00:48:00,322 --> 00:48:02,959
Calm down. We get it.
707
00:48:03,026 --> 00:48:04,526
You don't know shit, Chris.
708
00:48:05,995 --> 00:48:08,564
- You don't have a...
- I don't have a what, Ken?
709
00:48:08,630 --> 00:48:10,700
A family that gives a shit
about me?
710
00:48:12,702 --> 00:48:13,569
Maybe you're right.
711
00:48:13,635 --> 00:48:15,270
But at least
I don't love it here.
712
00:48:16,204 --> 00:48:17,506
I don't love it here.
713
00:48:18,975 --> 00:48:20,442
Look at how hard you try
714
00:48:20,509 --> 00:48:23,078
to be the coolest person
working at We Luv Toys.
715
00:48:23,145 --> 00:48:24,714
Guys, can we not do this
right now?
716
00:48:24,781 --> 00:48:26,214
Me?
717
00:48:26,281 --> 00:48:27,401
You're the one that's always
718
00:48:27,449 --> 00:48:29,351
trying to get employee
of the month.
719
00:48:29,418 --> 00:48:31,086
It's a fake award, Christopher.
720
00:48:31,153 --> 00:48:33,121
Don't blame me
for trying my best.
721
00:48:33,188 --> 00:48:35,024
Your best.
722
00:48:35,090 --> 00:48:36,993
You call this your best?
723
00:48:37,060 --> 00:48:40,162
I've never seen a bigger waste
of potential in my life.
724
00:48:40,228 --> 00:48:42,664
Oh, fuck off!
725
00:48:42,732 --> 00:48:44,266
You try to give me
all these tips
726
00:48:44,333 --> 00:48:47,302
about how to live
and when you were my age.
727
00:48:47,369 --> 00:48:49,471
You're not my age.
728
00:48:49,538 --> 00:48:52,942
I still have time to realize
that this job was a mistake.
729
00:48:53,009 --> 00:48:54,844
You got a lot to learn, kid.
730
00:48:54,911 --> 00:48:56,879
"Kid."
731
00:48:56,946 --> 00:48:58,848
I'm not your kid.
732
00:48:58,915 --> 00:49:01,516
You see me way too often
to be your actual child.
733
00:49:10,793 --> 00:49:12,294
Don't.
734
00:49:12,361 --> 00:49:14,931
At least I acknowledge
that this job bums me out.
735
00:49:14,998 --> 00:49:18,567
But, my God, you treat it
like it's high school,
736
00:49:18,634 --> 00:49:20,602
like you're the cool guy
in shop,
737
00:49:20,669 --> 00:49:22,772
dating someone
20 years younger than you.
738
00:49:22,839 --> 00:49:24,673
Okay, we're not dating.
739
00:49:31,346 --> 00:49:32,715
I thought we were a thing.
740
00:49:32,782 --> 00:49:33,883
A thing, yeah.
741
00:49:35,283 --> 00:49:38,121
But, Ken,
you're almost my dad's age.
742
00:49:40,522 --> 00:49:42,457
I will fucking kill you, nerd!
743
00:49:43,659 --> 00:49:45,037
What about
all the late-night shifts?
744
00:49:45,061 --> 00:49:46,638
What about the time we made out
on the train table?
745
00:49:46,662 --> 00:49:49,498
- You did what?
- We made out.
746
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,935
It passes the time.
747
00:49:53,002 --> 00:49:54,704
But, Ken,
I don't really know you.
748
00:49:55,872 --> 00:49:57,639
I've never seen you
outside of the store.
749
00:49:57,707 --> 00:49:59,776
I mean, I've... I've never
even met your kids.
750
00:50:01,176 --> 00:50:03,146
Would we ever go out on a date?
751
00:50:03,211 --> 00:50:04,781
I don't think so, right?
752
00:50:05,948 --> 00:50:07,349
Pancakes.
753
00:50:11,854 --> 00:50:13,089
No?
754
00:50:25,068 --> 00:50:26,601
So that's it?
755
00:50:28,004 --> 00:50:31,339
You guys all think I'm some
sort of fucking loser, huh?
756
00:50:39,749 --> 00:50:40,817
I'm out of here.
757
00:50:43,285 --> 00:50:44,619
Let's go.
758
00:51:08,477 --> 00:51:10,378
What exactly are we looking for?
759
00:51:10,445 --> 00:51:11,881
I'm fresh out of ideas.
760
00:51:17,252 --> 00:51:20,455
There's got to be a circuit
breaker or something in here.
761
00:51:38,207 --> 00:51:39,876
I can do you one better.
762
00:52:10,372 --> 00:52:12,108
Hey, what's the plan?
763
00:52:12,175 --> 00:52:13,508
Lou attacked you guys, right?
764
00:52:13,575 --> 00:52:15,377
Damn straight.
He showed Ken what's what.
765
00:52:15,443 --> 00:52:16,578
Right, which means the truck
766
00:52:16,645 --> 00:52:17,990
is still parked
in the loading dock.
767
00:52:18,014 --> 00:52:19,825
And the keys are still
in the truck. He told me.
768
00:52:19,849 --> 00:52:20,983
If we bust open those locks,
769
00:52:21,050 --> 00:52:22,426
we can get
into the bed of the truck.
770
00:52:22,450 --> 00:52:23,753
That's our way out of here.
771
00:52:23,820 --> 00:52:25,396
What happens when you
get into the truck bed?
772
00:52:25,420 --> 00:52:26,564
I figured there's got
to be a hatch
773
00:52:26,588 --> 00:52:28,090
to the front seat, right?
774
00:52:28,157 --> 00:52:30,293
Got it! Let's go.
775
00:52:30,358 --> 00:52:32,427
All right, team.
776
00:52:32,494 --> 00:52:34,230
Listen up.
777
00:52:34,297 --> 00:52:36,232
I've made a decision.
778
00:52:36,299 --> 00:52:39,334
As captain...
779
00:52:39,401 --> 00:52:40,703
I'm going down with the ship.
780
00:52:40,770 --> 00:52:42,337
- No!
- I'm staying behind.
781
00:52:42,404 --> 00:52:43,505
That's it.
782
00:52:43,572 --> 00:52:46,508
We had turkey together.
783
00:52:46,575 --> 00:52:47,877
And pretzels.
784
00:52:47,944 --> 00:52:51,180
Jonathan,
now is not the time, okay?
785
00:52:51,247 --> 00:52:53,348
Then when is my time, huh?
786
00:52:55,550 --> 00:52:58,620
Call me a fool,
but I love it here.
787
00:52:59,822 --> 00:53:01,656
This is my favorite place
in the whole world,
788
00:53:01,724 --> 00:53:05,027
and it would be an honor
to stay with the store
789
00:53:05,094 --> 00:53:06,963
in its final hours,
790
00:53:07,029 --> 00:53:09,832
as any good and strong
manager would.
791
00:53:13,401 --> 00:53:16,239
I told you they never die.
792
00:53:20,442 --> 00:53:23,045
Oh, this just got really bad.
793
00:53:47,803 --> 00:53:49,638
Go, get outta here!
794
00:53:58,681 --> 00:54:00,049
- Ken!
- Don't!
795
00:54:19,168 --> 00:54:22,905
Motherfucker! Ow! Ow!
796
00:54:34,183 --> 00:54:35,217
Ow!
797
00:54:36,451 --> 00:54:38,453
I think we're clear.
798
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:39,889
Maybe they do die.
799
00:54:39,956 --> 00:54:41,123
- Ken.
- Are you okay?
800
00:54:41,190 --> 00:54:42,825
Wait, wait, wait.
801
00:54:42,892 --> 00:54:44,727
Stay back.
Do not come over here.
802
00:54:46,461 --> 00:54:47,897
Oh, my God.
803
00:54:47,964 --> 00:54:49,131
What happened?
804
00:54:49,198 --> 00:54:52,667
What does it look like?
Fucking new guy bit me.
805
00:54:54,636 --> 00:54:56,339
I can fix this. We can fix this.
806
00:54:56,405 --> 00:54:57,707
No. No.
807
00:54:57,773 --> 00:54:59,541
You saw what happened
to Anita and Emmett.
808
00:54:59,607 --> 00:55:00,919
If they bite you,
you turn into one of them.
809
00:55:00,943 --> 00:55:02,510
No, no, no, no. Don't say that.
810
00:55:02,577 --> 00:55:03,879
Well, that is the mythos, right?
811
00:55:03,946 --> 00:55:06,148
Shut the fuck up, Jonathan!
812
00:55:06,215 --> 00:55:09,151
What happened to going down
with the ship, huh, Captain?
813
00:55:09,218 --> 00:55:10,786
I guess I changed my mind.
814
00:55:10,853 --> 00:55:12,654
We can cut the arm off.
815
00:55:12,722 --> 00:55:14,724
Let's lop it off.
816
00:55:14,790 --> 00:55:17,994
Guys, you already
took my dignity.
817
00:55:19,195 --> 00:55:20,528
Leave my arm.
818
00:55:22,298 --> 00:55:23,565
Get out of here.
819
00:55:23,631 --> 00:55:26,035
Put something in the door.
Don't let me out.
820
00:55:28,636 --> 00:55:30,006
Here.
821
00:55:31,407 --> 00:55:33,275
Ken, I'm... I'm sorry.
822
00:55:35,745 --> 00:55:37,545
Yeah, me too, kid.
823
00:56:05,474 --> 00:56:06,842
Fuck.
824
00:56:08,110 --> 00:56:11,147
Come on, man!
When are you gonna take me?
825
00:56:11,213 --> 00:56:13,516
Fuck!
826
00:56:13,581 --> 00:56:15,918
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
827
00:56:15,985 --> 00:56:19,221
Want to go someplace new, new.
828
00:56:19,288 --> 00:56:21,991
Not my... not myself.
829
00:56:22,058 --> 00:56:25,061
Been a long...
been a long day, day, day.
830
00:56:25,127 --> 00:56:27,797
Been a long... been a long day.
831
00:56:27,863 --> 00:56:29,365
Fuck off, Dour Dennis.
832
00:56:29,432 --> 00:56:31,633
Yet others
are going through much worse.
833
00:56:31,700 --> 00:56:33,169
Fuck off, man.
834
00:56:39,108 --> 00:56:40,943
You know what you're doing?
835
00:56:41,010 --> 00:56:43,746
No, but I figure
if I climb out of the hatch
836
00:56:43,813 --> 00:56:45,390
and get to the front seat,
it's our way out of here.
837
00:56:45,414 --> 00:56:47,083
Okay. Good plan.
838
00:56:47,149 --> 00:56:49,752
'Cause my Elks Lodge
is only about six miles away.
839
00:56:49,819 --> 00:56:51,353
Or the police station.
840
00:56:51,420 --> 00:56:53,489
The police are here
and they're monsters now.
841
00:56:53,556 --> 00:56:54,723
Now?
842
00:56:54,790 --> 00:56:57,827
Look,
I'll get us somewhere, okay?
843
00:56:57,893 --> 00:57:00,029
Brian, about a year ago,
844
00:57:00,096 --> 00:57:01,764
corporate sent transportation...
845
00:57:01,831 --> 00:57:03,631
Hey, I hope you don't believe
what Ken said.
846
00:57:03,699 --> 00:57:05,101
It's not true.
847
00:57:06,268 --> 00:57:07,669
It's true.
848
00:57:07,736 --> 00:57:09,671
I don't know if he meant it,
but it's true.
849
00:57:11,340 --> 00:57:14,343
I made things uncomfortable by
bringing you into that fight.
850
00:57:15,678 --> 00:57:17,179
You're too good of a person.
851
00:57:17,246 --> 00:57:18,523
You remember
Christmas last year,
852
00:57:18,547 --> 00:57:19,849
we caught that woman stealing?
853
00:57:19,915 --> 00:57:21,250
I wanted to stop her. Y-y...
854
00:57:21,317 --> 00:57:24,286
She had kids.
She was stealing for them.
855
00:57:24,353 --> 00:57:25,454
What?
856
00:57:27,056 --> 00:57:29,058
What was I supposed to do,
call the cops
857
00:57:29,125 --> 00:57:31,427
so that she'd get arrested
and her kids would find out
858
00:57:31,494 --> 00:57:34,363
in the worst possible way
that Santa's not real?
859
00:57:34,430 --> 00:57:35,865
You let her do it?
860
00:57:35,931 --> 00:57:38,901
Marnie...
you did the right thing.
861
00:57:41,704 --> 00:57:43,038
Let's help Chris out.
862
00:58:03,726 --> 00:58:06,061
Hey, how do you
feel today, feel today?
863
00:58:06,128 --> 00:58:08,998
You know, I'm not doing
too good, Dour Dennis,
864
00:58:09,064 --> 00:58:10,432
but I appreciate the sentiment.
865
00:58:10,499 --> 00:58:13,369
Just always feel bad, bad, bad.
866
00:58:13,435 --> 00:58:14,870
That's great.
867
00:58:14,937 --> 00:58:16,839
That's just fucking awesome.
868
00:58:21,777 --> 00:58:23,078
I'm good.
869
00:58:35,524 --> 00:58:37,126
Ah, fuck.
870
00:58:38,727 --> 00:58:40,429
God damn it, Brian!
871
00:58:46,168 --> 00:58:48,837
What are the odds
Chris fucks this up?
872
00:58:48,904 --> 00:58:50,873
You know, you are
a real boner killer,
873
00:58:50,940 --> 00:58:51,941
you know that?
874
00:58:59,481 --> 00:59:00,516
Bircher.
875
00:59:26,809 --> 00:59:29,679
An emergency at-home order
has been put in place...
876
00:59:31,647 --> 00:59:33,482
What do I do here?
877
00:59:33,549 --> 00:59:35,551
Civilians are advised...
878
00:59:35,618 --> 00:59:36,752
What is this?
879
00:59:36,819 --> 00:59:38,287
What are all these buttons?
880
00:59:38,354 --> 00:59:41,056
I repeat: stay in your home.
881
00:59:41,123 --> 00:59:44,193
An emergency at-home order
has been put in place...
882
00:59:44,260 --> 00:59:47,529
"You should have taken shop."
Shut the fuck up, Dad!
883
00:59:49,198 --> 00:59:50,700
Civilians are advised to avoid
884
00:59:50,766 --> 00:59:52,601
any and all retail areas.
885
00:59:55,571 --> 00:59:57,206
I can't do this at my house.
886
00:59:57,273 --> 00:59:59,709
My house is a mess,
mess, mess, mess.
887
00:59:59,775 --> 01:00:01,443
Quiet, Dennis. They'll hear us.
888
01:00:04,580 --> 01:00:06,148
Oh, fuck.
889
01:00:11,220 --> 01:00:12,421
Get it together, together.
890
01:00:12,488 --> 01:00:14,056
It's not like my life
was my choice.
891
01:00:14,123 --> 01:00:16,959
Hey! This is for employees only!
892
01:00:19,028 --> 01:00:20,496
Come on, Dennis.
893
01:00:25,200 --> 01:00:26,935
My wife left me, so I guess
894
01:00:27,002 --> 01:00:29,405
I can do
whatever the fuck I want.
895
01:00:51,026 --> 01:00:52,895
What happened
to the plan, Chris?
896
01:00:52,961 --> 01:00:54,563
I can't drive this truck.
897
01:00:54,630 --> 01:00:56,733
That's what you get for not
taking shop class.
898
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,600
Shh, shh!
The... they'll hear us.
899
01:00:58,667 --> 01:01:00,302
I saw Bircher outside.
900
01:01:00,369 --> 01:01:03,639
He was like Emmett.
He turned but maybe worse.
901
01:01:03,707 --> 01:01:05,541
I-I don't know.
902
01:01:05,607 --> 01:01:08,210
I don't think he saw me.
903
01:01:55,891 --> 01:01:57,292
Are you okay?
904
01:01:58,660 --> 01:02:00,129
Chris!
905
01:02:03,899 --> 01:02:05,601
No, no, no, no, no, no!
906
01:02:07,136 --> 01:02:08,838
Help!
907
01:02:12,941 --> 01:02:15,310
Aah!
908
01:02:15,377 --> 01:02:16,912
Shit!
909
01:02:16,979 --> 01:02:19,615
Jonathan, open the back door!
910
01:02:19,682 --> 01:02:21,150
We're safe in here, no?
911
01:02:21,216 --> 01:02:22,351
No! Obviously not.
912
01:02:22,418 --> 01:02:23,820
These things are fast
and strong.
913
01:02:23,887 --> 01:02:25,047
They'll rip this truck apart.
914
01:02:28,056 --> 01:02:29,658
Go! Go! Get the back!
915
01:02:29,726 --> 01:02:31,093
- Okay. Okay.
- GO! Go!
916
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:18,440
What are we gonna do?
917
01:03:18,507 --> 01:03:22,244
Okay. Marnie, grab the back
of my sweater.
918
01:03:22,311 --> 01:03:24,446
Then Chris, Brian, you last.
919
01:03:24,513 --> 01:03:25,647
Me last?
920
01:03:25,715 --> 01:03:27,459
Well, unfortunately,
these things are hungry,
921
01:03:27,483 --> 01:03:30,018
and well, you're the slowest
and the juiciest.
922
01:03:46,335 --> 01:03:48,003
Are you crazy?
We can't see in there.
923
01:03:48,070 --> 01:03:49,505
You can't, maybe.
924
01:03:49,571 --> 01:03:52,040
I can walk through this whole
store with my eyes closed.
925
01:03:52,107 --> 01:03:54,176
Come on. Grab on. Let's move!
926
01:03:58,180 --> 01:03:59,682
I can't see anything.
927
01:03:59,749 --> 01:04:01,550
Shut the fuck up, juicy.
928
01:04:27,175 --> 01:04:28,477
This was a good call.
929
01:04:28,544 --> 01:04:30,312
Go high, you know.
That's what they say.
930
01:04:30,379 --> 01:04:32,916
- Who?
- I don't know, sports people?
931
01:04:32,982 --> 01:04:35,785
Marnie, where did the rest
of the shoppers go?
932
01:04:46,829 --> 01:04:48,363
Hello, hello, hello.
933
01:04:48,430 --> 01:04:51,433
Maybe you could love me.
Maybe you could love me.
934
01:05:04,246 --> 01:05:06,783
Guys, over here.
935
01:05:07,951 --> 01:05:09,551
Hey, uh,
936
01:05:09,618 --> 01:05:12,220
I'm totes sorry that I left you
on the sales floor.
937
01:05:12,287 --> 01:05:13,431
It's all right. Forget about it.
938
01:05:13,455 --> 01:05:15,223
No, I've been a bitch.
939
01:05:15,290 --> 01:05:17,659
But I've totally taken control
since then.
940
01:05:17,727 --> 01:05:19,561
I totally helped with Ken.
941
01:05:19,628 --> 01:05:20,730
What?
942
01:05:22,130 --> 01:05:23,298
Oh, no!
943
01:05:23,365 --> 01:05:24,867
It's spreading too fast.
944
01:05:26,134 --> 01:05:29,271
No, no, no!
We got to put it out.
945
01:05:30,940 --> 01:05:32,809
No, no!
946
01:05:32,875 --> 01:05:35,277
I don't care how much smoke.
Back down the hatch!
947
01:05:42,117 --> 01:05:43,987
Oh, there they are.
948
01:05:44,053 --> 01:05:46,022
We don't have a way out.
949
01:05:46,089 --> 01:05:49,625
You know the worst thing
about holiday shoppers?
950
01:05:50,492 --> 01:05:53,261
They can never accept the fact
that the night is over.
951
01:05:54,097 --> 01:05:57,867
They have no idea what it takes
to work in retail.
952
01:05:57,934 --> 01:06:02,671
Year after year dealing with
hordes of unruly customers.
953
01:06:02,739 --> 01:06:04,707
You know what?
954
01:06:04,774 --> 01:06:08,778
My face hurts
because of all the fake smiles!
955
01:06:11,580 --> 01:06:14,717
My ears hurt from listening
to Air Supply
956
01:06:14,784 --> 01:06:17,920
50,000 times!
957
01:06:19,254 --> 01:06:24,159
Worst of all,
my fucking feet hurt!
958
01:06:24,226 --> 01:06:26,161
What is he doing?
959
01:06:26,228 --> 01:06:27,764
I think he's finally had enough.
960
01:06:27,830 --> 01:06:31,901
It's right there
in the manager's handbook.
961
01:06:31,968 --> 01:06:36,204
The people that work for you
should be treated...
962
01:06:36,271 --> 01:06:37,707
like family.
963
01:06:37,774 --> 01:06:40,710
Well, these kids,
they're special to me.
964
01:06:41,911 --> 01:06:44,147
They're my family.
965
01:06:44,212 --> 01:06:45,848
Jonathan, what are you doing?
966
01:06:49,351 --> 01:06:51,921
So attention, shoppers,
967
01:06:51,988 --> 01:06:56,224
Black Friday is over!
968
01:06:56,291 --> 01:06:57,960
Whoo!
969
01:07:44,606 --> 01:07:46,475
Somebody say something.
970
01:07:49,311 --> 01:07:51,279
I bit Ken.
971
01:07:51,346 --> 01:07:52,380
You what?
972
01:07:56,886 --> 01:08:00,589
Ma'am, I have the right
to refuse service to anybody!
973
01:08:00,655 --> 01:08:03,059
And it doesn't matter appear
you're wearing a shirt
974
01:08:03,126 --> 01:08:05,962
or shoes, ma'am!
975
01:08:08,530 --> 01:08:10,665
I'll rip this place apart,
including you!
976
01:08:10,733 --> 01:08:12,769
Oh, get it together, dickless!
977
01:08:28,583 --> 01:08:31,419
I made a choice, and I bit him.
978
01:08:33,055 --> 01:08:35,992
Ken Bates was no hero.
979
01:08:36,058 --> 01:08:38,326
He was a drunk and a creep.
980
01:08:39,896 --> 01:08:41,998
So I did us all a favor.
981
01:08:42,064 --> 01:08:45,134
You are a horrible person.
982
01:08:45,201 --> 01:08:47,270
You piece of shit.
983
01:08:47,335 --> 01:08:48,838
What the fuck?
984
01:08:48,905 --> 01:08:50,281
You didn't even think
about his daughters!
985
01:08:50,305 --> 01:08:51,473
Marnie! Marnie, please!
986
01:08:51,540 --> 01:08:52,951
These are more
than microaggressions!
987
01:08:52,975 --> 01:08:54,277
I fucking hate you!
988
01:08:54,342 --> 01:08:56,545
Guys, stop fighting, okay?
Not now.
989
01:08:56,611 --> 01:08:58,014
Grab some garland
and some lights.
990
01:08:58,080 --> 01:08:59,481
We can rappel off this thing.
991
01:09:43,326 --> 01:09:44,760
I'm okay!
992
01:09:46,128 --> 01:09:47,429
Yeah, me too!
993
01:09:47,495 --> 01:09:49,866
Oh, why are those things
so filthy?
994
01:09:51,399 --> 01:09:52,969
Guys, why is the garbage so wet?
995
01:09:53,035 --> 01:09:55,037
Chris, you can do it.
996
01:09:56,205 --> 01:09:57,740
Three, two.
997
01:09:57,807 --> 01:09:58,673
Come on.
998
01:09:58,741 --> 01:10:00,343
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
999
01:10:00,408 --> 01:10:03,045
Oh! Five, four...
1000
01:10:03,112 --> 01:10:05,214
Whoa!
1001
01:10:05,281 --> 01:10:06,916
Oh, God.
1002
01:10:06,983 --> 01:10:09,252
Are you okay?
1003
01:10:09,318 --> 01:10:11,129
That thing just shook me off
the side of the roof,
1004
01:10:11,153 --> 01:10:13,455
which is perfectly fine because
I was gonna jump anyway.
1005
01:10:13,521 --> 01:10:14,422
It's, like, not even that bad
in here.
1006
01:10:14,489 --> 01:10:16,491
Okay, Chris. Let's go.
1007
01:10:16,558 --> 01:10:18,995
Chris? What about me?
1008
01:10:20,796 --> 01:10:24,333
You can stay here
with the rest of the trash.
1009
01:10:24,399 --> 01:10:26,235
Ow!
1010
01:10:26,302 --> 01:10:27,970
I'm sorry!
1011
01:10:28,037 --> 01:10:31,073
He was kind of on
all of our shit, though, right?
1012
01:10:31,140 --> 01:10:32,574
I mean, he said you were
1013
01:10:32,641 --> 01:10:35,845
a waste of potential,
Chris, right?
1014
01:10:35,912 --> 01:10:38,446
He said that you were
his girlfriend.
1015
01:10:38,513 --> 01:10:40,448
Girl, bye!
1016
01:10:40,515 --> 01:10:42,417
Dude was gonna lead us
to certain death
1017
01:10:42,484 --> 01:10:44,619
'cause he was afraid
for his daughters.
1018
01:10:45,688 --> 01:10:47,589
I did us all a favor!
1019
01:10:49,825 --> 01:10:50,960
Hey!
1020
01:11:00,002 --> 01:11:01,670
We have to make a run for it.
1021
01:11:01,737 --> 01:11:03,906
Check every car,
and try to stay quiet.
1022
01:11:09,912 --> 01:11:11,714
Any of those things out here?
1023
01:11:11,781 --> 01:11:14,684
I think they're
inside of that... thing.
1024
01:11:14,750 --> 01:11:16,018
Looks like the coast is clear.
1025
01:11:18,586 --> 01:11:20,222
This place is gonna blow.
1026
01:11:20,289 --> 01:11:22,457
Try to find a car
that's unlocked.
1027
01:11:22,524 --> 01:11:23,534
Jonathan would have had a plan!
1028
01:11:23,558 --> 01:11:26,228
We need a plan!
1029
01:11:26,295 --> 01:11:28,164
Oh, shit!
1030
01:11:36,604 --> 01:11:38,341
Oh, Brian, God damn it!
1031
01:11:42,510 --> 01:11:44,013
Let's go.
1032
01:11:54,090 --> 01:11:56,658
What the fuck is he doing now?
1033
01:12:03,531 --> 01:12:06,002
Oh, my God.
1034
01:12:08,304 --> 01:12:10,106
What is that thing?
1035
01:12:18,347 --> 01:12:21,050
It's mom-fucking-Kong.
1036
01:12:28,623 --> 01:12:29,892
What do we do now?
1037
01:12:32,395 --> 01:12:34,030
It's all the shoppers.
1038
01:12:40,102 --> 01:12:42,004
What if I can get through to it?
1039
01:12:46,308 --> 01:12:47,609
Are you crazy?
1040
01:12:48,610 --> 01:12:50,746
It's a management thing.
1041
01:12:50,813 --> 01:12:52,481
You'd never understand, Marnie.
1042
01:12:58,254 --> 01:13:00,489
Hi there!
1043
01:13:00,555 --> 01:13:02,958
My name is Brian.
1044
01:13:03,025 --> 01:13:04,493
And I love toys!
1045
01:13:13,502 --> 01:13:14,804
Okay.
1046
01:13:14,870 --> 01:13:16,906
I know you're scared.
1047
01:13:16,972 --> 01:13:20,376
I'm scared too. That's right.
1048
01:13:20,443 --> 01:13:22,610
I'm not gonna hurt you.
1049
01:13:22,678 --> 01:13:24,646
Come closer.
1050
01:13:24,713 --> 01:13:26,849
You and I have been
through a lot, you know?
1051
01:13:28,150 --> 01:13:31,053
You remember Black Friday 2016?
1052
01:13:34,223 --> 01:13:37,726
Uh, I know
the shopper experience.
1053
01:13:37,793 --> 01:13:40,463
I mean, as I always say,
1054
01:13:40,529 --> 01:13:42,965
when in doubt, go shopping!
1055
01:13:49,071 --> 01:13:52,208
You and me,
we have so many mems.
1056
01:13:54,642 --> 01:13:56,644
If anyone knows,
1057
01:13:56,712 --> 01:13:58,247
the customer's always r...
1058
01:13:59,748 --> 01:14:01,350
Oh, my God.
1059
01:14:03,853 --> 01:14:05,387
Shit. Shit.
1060
01:14:05,454 --> 01:14:06,856
Ken's SUV is over there.
1061
01:14:07,823 --> 01:14:09,657
He didn't give us the keys.
1062
01:14:12,394 --> 01:14:15,164
And he didn't put
the fucking carts away!
1063
01:14:15,231 --> 01:14:16,664
Knock, knock!
1064
01:14:20,736 --> 01:14:23,772
You're supposed to say,
"Who's there?"
1065
01:14:23,839 --> 01:14:25,975
- Now a bad time for a dad joke?
- Ken!
1066
01:14:28,210 --> 01:14:29,845
We didn't think you'd make it.
1067
01:14:29,912 --> 01:14:31,352
Did you see Brian
get just fucking...
1068
01:14:31,413 --> 01:14:32,515
Like a paper football.
1069
01:14:36,685 --> 01:14:39,421
Ken, I'm sorry.
1070
01:14:39,488 --> 01:14:42,525
I'm sorry too. I was an asshole.
1071
01:14:42,591 --> 01:14:43,831
You're too good for a toy store.
1072
01:14:43,893 --> 01:14:45,227
You both are.
1073
01:14:45,294 --> 01:14:46,862
That's why
we need to get out of here.
1074
01:14:46,929 --> 01:14:48,697
Come on, let's go.
Go, go, go, go!
1075
01:15:08,017 --> 01:15:09,318
What the hell are we gonna do?
1076
01:15:09,385 --> 01:15:11,820
If we run,
that thing's gonna pick us off.
1077
01:15:12,922 --> 01:15:14,089
I have an idea.
1078
01:15:19,895 --> 01:15:21,964
Chris, please don't play hero.
1079
01:15:22,031 --> 01:15:24,400
Can you distract that thing?
1080
01:15:24,466 --> 01:15:25,701
I'ma hold you down.
1081
01:15:25,768 --> 01:15:28,370
- Don't.
- No, Jonathan was right.
1082
01:15:28,437 --> 01:15:30,005
It's fucking Thanksgiving.
1083
01:15:30,072 --> 01:15:31,407
I'm deciding right here
right now,
1084
01:15:31,473 --> 01:15:32,841
you guys are my family.
1085
01:15:32,908 --> 01:15:34,109
- So can you do it?
- Yeah.
1086
01:15:35,644 --> 01:15:37,580
No, I'll do it. He's got kids.
1087
01:15:37,646 --> 01:15:39,782
No, no, you won't. Hey! Hey!
1088
01:15:39,848 --> 01:15:41,617
Whoa! Hey, right here!
1089
01:15:41,685 --> 01:15:44,253
Hey, right here! Hey!
1090
01:15:48,924 --> 01:15:51,026
I don't like you.
1091
01:15:51,093 --> 01:15:53,162
I don't have to help you.
1092
01:15:53,229 --> 01:15:55,564
I got your discount right here.
1093
01:15:55,631 --> 01:15:57,800
Look at this. Whoa, whoa, hey!
1094
01:15:57,866 --> 01:15:59,969
Hey, check this out.
Check it out, huh?
1095
01:16:00,035 --> 01:16:03,138
You see that? Hey! Hey!
1096
01:16:03,205 --> 01:16:05,774
Right here, you big bitch!
Right here!
1097
01:16:07,776 --> 01:16:10,179
I don't need to help you.
1098
01:16:10,246 --> 01:16:13,582
I got your discount right here!
Look at this.
1099
01:16:13,649 --> 01:16:16,218
Look here!
1100
01:16:16,285 --> 01:16:18,120
Hey! Hey!
1101
01:16:18,187 --> 01:16:20,055
Yo!
1102
01:16:32,167 --> 01:16:33,737
Oh, no!
1103
01:16:33,802 --> 01:16:36,572
Oh, no, Chris. No.
1104
01:17:07,536 --> 01:17:09,305
Come on!
1105
01:17:26,422 --> 01:17:28,090
Yes! Bang!
1106
01:17:56,085 --> 01:17:57,853
I think I just pissed it off.
1107
01:18:12,968 --> 01:18:14,608
Come on! I think we can
make it to my car.
1108
01:18:14,636 --> 01:18:15,739
Let's go! Come on!
1109
01:18:15,805 --> 01:18:16,972
Come on!
1110
01:18:39,863 --> 01:18:41,663
Just a thing?
1111
01:18:41,731 --> 01:18:43,298
Just a thing.
1112
01:18:43,365 --> 01:18:44,433
Let's go.
1113
01:18:48,437 --> 01:18:49,905
Leah texted.
1114
01:18:49,972 --> 01:18:52,040
My daughters are okay.
1115
01:18:52,107 --> 01:18:54,476
They set up safe havens
for people.
1116
01:18:55,210 --> 01:18:57,212
Sounds good to me. Let's do it.
1117
01:18:58,347 --> 01:19:00,649
We gotta make a detour first.
1118
01:19:00,717 --> 01:19:02,017
For what?
1119
01:19:03,485 --> 01:19:04,687
For pancakes.
1120
01:19:07,724 --> 01:19:08,957
Let's go!
1121
01:19:11,360 --> 01:19:12,796
Well...
1122
01:19:12,862 --> 01:19:14,930
well... well... well,
1123
01:19:14,997 --> 01:19:17,199
it's been a long day, day, day.
1124
01:19:17,266 --> 01:19:20,436
And this is surely the end.
76575
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