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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,484 --> 00:00:03,399 ADULT SHELDON: Engineering has a rich 2 00:00:03,484 --> 00:00:05,007 and storied history, 3 00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,492 dating back to ancient times. 4 00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:11,215 Some consider it the single most important field of study... 5 00:00:11,316 --> 00:00:12,695 Okay, w-wha... no. Stop. 6 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,611 I'm sorry. Howard, I can't do this. 7 00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:16,658 WOLOWITZ: You asked me to write you an introduction to engineering. 8 00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:18,415 ADULT SHELDON: Yes, and if I wanted a comedy routine, 9 00:00:18,499 --> 00:00:19,739 I'd have gone to Billy Crystal. 10 00:00:19,904 --> 00:00:21,082 WOLOWITZ: Just let me read it. 11 00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:22,067 [clears throat] 12 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,164 [♪] 13 00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:25,960 Engineering has a rich and storied history 14 00:00:26,045 --> 00:00:28,187 dating back to ancient times. 15 00:00:28,272 --> 00:00:30,538 Some consider it the single most important field of study 16 00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:31,562 known to man, 17 00:00:31,647 --> 00:00:34,851 from the wheel to the International Space Station, 18 00:00:35,342 --> 00:00:36,640 which I went to. 19 00:00:36,725 --> 00:00:38,195 ADULT SHELDON: Honestly, this again? 20 00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:40,079 WOLOWITZ: Like we don't hear about your Nobel Prize 21 00:00:40,163 --> 00:00:41,289 all the time. 22 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,383 ADULT SHELDON: It's not my fault people ask about it. 23 00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,773 WOLOWITZ: Because you're always wearing it! 24 00:00:45,858 --> 00:00:47,367 You have it on right now. 25 00:00:47,452 --> 00:00:49,344 - ADULT SHELDON: Look how shiny it is. - [Wolowitz sighs] 26 00:00:49,428 --> 00:00:50,702 WOLOWITZ: Just tell your story. 27 00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:53,506 ADULT SHELDON: My own history with engineering 28 00:00:53,591 --> 00:00:56,506 began spring semester of my freshman year. 29 00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:57,663 Good morning. 30 00:00:57,998 --> 00:00:59,389 I'm Professor Boucher, 31 00:00:59,539 --> 00:01:01,811 and this is Civil Engineering Lab. 32 00:01:02,456 --> 00:01:05,952 Class begins at 0900, which is... 33 00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:08,975 ...now. 34 00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:11,506 In this course, 35 00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:13,038 we're going to apply the principles 36 00:01:13,123 --> 00:01:14,562 of static mechanical forces... 37 00:01:14,647 --> 00:01:15,825 [knocks on door] 38 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,530 I'm in this class. 39 00:01:17,738 --> 00:01:19,743 This class started at 0900, 40 00:01:19,834 --> 00:01:23,694 so... no, you're not. 41 00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:26,741 As I was saying, 42 00:01:26,826 --> 00:01:27,983 Uh, yes? 43 00:01:28,068 --> 00:01:30,913 I appreciate your use of the 24-four hour time format. 44 00:01:31,112 --> 00:01:33,763 Were you aware that while often referred to as "military time," 45 00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:35,475 it actually dates back to the Egyptians? 46 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,306 I'm aware that the class is now starting at 0901. 47 00:01:39,548 --> 00:01:41,858 Is it all right with you if I begin? 48 00:01:41,943 --> 00:01:43,022 Please. 49 00:01:43,691 --> 00:01:46,956 ADULT SHELDON: One minute in and I was already his favorite. 50 00:01:47,643 --> 00:01:50,792 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 51 00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:53,469 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 52 00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:56,097 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 53 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,933 ♪ I am a mighty little man 54 00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:03,143 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ *YOUNG SHELDON* 55 00:02:03,227 --> 00:02:04,222 Season 05 Episode 07 Aired on: November 18, 2021. 56 00:02:04,307 --> 00:02:05,278 Episode Title: "An Introduction to Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel" 57 00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:08,397 This course is about practical applications. 58 00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:11,617 This isn't about fancy theories or what works in a classroom. 59 00:02:11,701 --> 00:02:13,101 If a tunnel collapses, 60 00:02:13,185 --> 00:02:14,751 the only math that's gonna matter 61 00:02:15,256 --> 00:02:16,591 is the body count. 62 00:02:18,524 --> 00:02:20,355 You. Sheldon Cooper. 63 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,802 Son, I'll learn your name if you make it to midterms. 64 00:02:22,887 --> 00:02:24,630 Right now, you're just a number to me. 65 00:02:24,714 --> 00:02:26,224 Ooh, can I be number one? 66 00:02:26,309 --> 00:02:27,982 That's what Captain Picard calls Commander Riker 67 00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,984 on Star Trek: Next Generation. 68 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,474 You need to listen more and talk less. 69 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,239 Is that clear, number one? 70 00:02:37,269 --> 00:02:38,709 Aye, Captain. 71 00:02:38,903 --> 00:02:39,966 Hmm. 72 00:02:41,556 --> 00:02:42,948 [phone rings] 73 00:02:44,161 --> 00:02:45,186 Ballard's. 74 00:02:45,271 --> 00:02:46,304 Hello. 75 00:02:46,388 --> 00:02:48,060 - Hey, what's up? - Oh, nothing. 76 00:02:48,145 --> 00:02:50,890 - I just called to say hello. - Oh. 77 00:02:51,169 --> 00:02:53,616 Gee, I don't think I've done that in my entire life. 78 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,044 You want me to hang up? 79 00:02:55,129 --> 00:02:56,458 No. Uh-uh. 80 00:02:57,614 --> 00:02:59,466 W... But what happens next? 81 00:02:59,611 --> 00:03:01,084 [phone beeps] Oh, wait, hang on. 82 00:03:01,169 --> 00:03:02,114 I got another call. 83 00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:04,341 All right, fine, yeah, sure, I can w... 84 00:03:04,677 --> 00:03:05,678 Hello? 85 00:03:05,763 --> 00:03:07,100 JUNE: Hey, Connie. June. 86 00:03:07,185 --> 00:03:08,786 Hi, June. What's going on? 87 00:03:08,871 --> 00:03:10,807 I know you have a hair appointment this afternoon, 88 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,271 but I'm gonna have to cancel. 89 00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:13,665 Everything okay? 90 00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:16,216 No, I busted my knee up pretty good. 91 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,372 Oh. Does Dale know? 92 00:03:18,457 --> 00:03:20,529 I-I'm on the other line with him. 93 00:03:20,614 --> 00:03:22,750 No, not yet. Yeah, you can tell him. 94 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:23,904 Okay, hang on. 95 00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:25,255 Hello? 96 00:03:25,347 --> 00:03:26,897 I'm so sorry, who's this? 97 00:03:27,037 --> 00:03:28,247 It's been so long. 98 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,217 I'm on the phone with June. 99 00:03:30,302 --> 00:03:31,480 She hurt her knee. 100 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,583 How? 101 00:03:32,993 --> 00:03:34,051 Well, hold on. 102 00:03:35,236 --> 00:03:36,354 How'd you hurt it? 103 00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:37,965 Oh, it's so embarrassing. 104 00:03:38,142 --> 00:03:40,936 I slipped on a glob of hair gel at the salon. 105 00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,158 Wait a minute. 106 00:03:42,852 --> 00:03:46,173 She slipped on a glob of hair gel at the salon. 107 00:03:46,258 --> 00:03:47,064 [laughs] 108 00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:48,486 Oh, nice. 109 00:03:48,864 --> 00:03:50,692 Well, that was worth the wait. 110 00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:54,252 SHELDON: And then, at exactly 9:00, 111 00:03:54,337 --> 00:03:56,679 he locked the doors and wouldn't let any latecomers in. 112 00:03:56,763 --> 00:03:58,041 That seems a little harsh. 113 00:03:58,126 --> 00:03:59,923 He's so intolerant. It's fantastic. 114 00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:02,870 He also wears a bow tie, and instead of using my name, 115 00:04:02,955 --> 00:04:04,134 he gave me a number. 116 00:04:04,219 --> 00:04:05,851 I don't think I like that, either. 117 00:04:05,936 --> 00:04:07,425 No, it's great. It's like we're robots. 118 00:04:07,509 --> 00:04:08,962 And guess what my number is. 119 00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,142 Number two? 120 00:04:10,227 --> 00:04:11,409 SHELDON: No, number one, 121 00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:12,931 like Riker on Star Trek. 122 00:04:13,016 --> 00:04:15,413 But number two is also good. Like the pencil. 123 00:04:15,681 --> 00:04:16,658 MARY: Well, 124 00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:18,177 I'm glad you enjoyed your class. 125 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,484 For our first assignment, we get to build a bridge. 126 00:04:20,569 --> 00:04:23,097 Professor Boucher was part of the Army Corps of Engineers, 127 00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:25,186 and he built bridges all over the world. 128 00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:26,900 You know, I was also in the Army. 129 00:04:27,081 --> 00:04:29,347 Ooh, perhaps you trudged across one of his bridges. 130 00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:30,673 How neat would that be? 131 00:04:30,797 --> 00:04:32,758 I bet Dad did cool Army stuff, too. 132 00:04:32,842 --> 00:04:34,751 Nope. "Trudging" sums it up. 133 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,241 See, number one is also pretty funny, 134 00:04:37,325 --> 00:04:38,798 'cause it means taking a leak. 135 00:04:38,922 --> 00:04:39,986 [sighs] 136 00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:42,260 - [TV playing indistinctly] - [doorbell rings] 137 00:04:42,345 --> 00:04:43,353 - Come in. - [TV stops] 138 00:04:43,438 --> 00:04:45,626 If you're a robber, I got a shotgun. 139 00:04:45,711 --> 00:04:48,220 It's Connie and Dale. Don't shoot. 140 00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:49,222 [laughs] Oh. 141 00:04:49,307 --> 00:04:51,588 Hey. Y'all didn't have to come by. 142 00:04:51,673 --> 00:04:52,648 MEEMAW: We just wanted to see 143 00:04:52,732 --> 00:04:53,587 how you're doing. 144 00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,931 Yeah. Brought your favorite ice cream. 145 00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:57,191 Butter pecan? 146 00:04:58,029 --> 00:04:59,306 What's your second-favorite? 147 00:05:00,827 --> 00:05:02,369 I'll put this away. 148 00:05:03,455 --> 00:05:04,736 So, how's it going? 149 00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:06,673 Do you have anybody to help you out? 150 00:05:06,759 --> 00:05:09,494 Oh, yeah. These little guys. 151 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,666 Elvis was onto something. [chuckles] 152 00:05:11,751 --> 00:05:13,756 Till he keeled over on the toilet. 153 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,087 He was the king. 154 00:05:15,407 --> 00:05:16,759 That was his throne. 155 00:05:16,861 --> 00:05:17,455 [laughs] 156 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:20,936 Seriously, now, though, if you need anything at all, 157 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,417 we are here for you. 158 00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:24,938 That's right. 100%. 159 00:05:25,774 --> 00:05:27,009 MEEMAW: Would you stop? 160 00:05:27,158 --> 00:05:28,597 I was being sincere. 161 00:05:28,744 --> 00:05:31,339 Well, that's for the next dumb thing you say. 162 00:05:31,423 --> 00:05:32,549 Well, just quit hitting me, would you? 163 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,181 Well, quit being stupid. 164 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,215 BOUCHER: For your design assignment, you may decide 165 00:05:38,299 --> 00:05:40,947 between suspension bridges, truss bridges, beam bridges, 166 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,400 just not Beau Bridges. 167 00:05:45,828 --> 00:05:48,244 And people say engineers don't have a sense of humor. 168 00:05:49,687 --> 00:05:50,604 Yes? 169 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,212 What are Beau Bridges? 170 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,102 That's all for today. 171 00:05:55,186 --> 00:05:57,278 Your initial designs are due next week. 172 00:05:57,408 --> 00:05:58,757 [students shuffling] 173 00:05:59,973 --> 00:06:02,410 I finished my design assignment early. 174 00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:05,189 I admire that initiative. 175 00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:07,984 Thank you, I stayed up late to finish it. 176 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,334 My normal bedtime is 2100 hours, 177 00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:12,336 but I was so excited to do it that I took a power nap 178 00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:14,486 in my Meemaw's back seat on the drive home. 179 00:06:14,571 --> 00:06:17,205 Uh, you'll need to do this again. It's wrong. 180 00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:20,096 No, it's not. 181 00:06:21,168 --> 00:06:24,519 Son, I'm giving you another chance before it's due. 182 00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:27,086 Well, what's wrong with it? 183 00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:28,654 That's your job to figure out. 184 00:06:29,409 --> 00:06:31,690 I would argue that it's your job to teach me. 185 00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:38,134 Let's see. [clears throat] 186 00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:41,518 To start, this bridge is in pieces. 187 00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:43,364 What do you mean? 188 00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,149 Well, two can play at this game. 189 00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,483 Well, now they can't. 190 00:07:04,513 --> 00:07:07,084 And then he ripped up my paper right in front of me. 191 00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,700 What is this man's problem? 192 00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:10,942 I don't know. He didn't even use a ruler. 193 00:07:11,027 --> 00:07:12,692 He just ripped it up, willy-nilly. 194 00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:14,310 Do you want me to call the school? 195 00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,103 No, he was in the Army. I want him to think I'm tough. 196 00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:18,188 Sure. 197 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,521 Well, I'm sorry you had a bad day. 198 00:07:22,824 --> 00:07:25,308 How about a little trip to RadioShack? 199 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,669 RadioShack's not gonna make this better. 200 00:07:28,211 --> 00:07:30,259 It's also not gonna make it worse, so okay. 201 00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:31,888 You got it. 202 00:07:32,113 --> 00:07:34,489 Maybe he was just intimidated by my intelligence. 203 00:07:34,691 --> 00:07:36,721 Or maybe he's an insecure bully 204 00:07:36,806 --> 00:07:39,334 taking out his frustrations on a little boy. 205 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,292 I like my version better where I'm intimidating 206 00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:42,942 and not a helpless child. 207 00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:47,342 Okay, he's taking out his frustrations on a powerful 208 00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,583 and intimidating young man. 209 00:07:50,082 --> 00:07:51,192 That works. 210 00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:52,583 WOMAN: [over TV] Romeo, 211 00:07:52,668 --> 00:07:54,673 wherefore art thou, Romeo? 212 00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:56,333 Hey, baby. 213 00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,654 [TV playing indistinctly] 214 00:08:07,144 --> 00:08:09,106 [phone ringing] 215 00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:10,286 Ballard's. 216 00:08:10,371 --> 00:08:12,708 It's me. Any chance you could swing by? 217 00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:14,552 What do you need? 218 00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,177 Well, the recliner won't go down, 219 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,223 and I'm stuck in this chair like a damn fool. 220 00:08:18,318 --> 00:08:20,072 Well, that is a situation. 221 00:08:20,594 --> 00:08:22,077 How long you been stuck? 222 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,993 Are you gonna help me out or not? 223 00:08:24,078 --> 00:08:25,954 Oh, just give me a moment to enjoy it. 224 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,642 Get your ass over here and you can laugh at me in person. 225 00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:30,454 Eh, I'm on my way. 226 00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:31,814 [exhales] Thank you. 227 00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,439 Got to grab my camera. [hangs up] 228 00:08:33,524 --> 00:08:34,524 [sighs] 229 00:08:35,813 --> 00:08:38,623 ADULT SHELDON: You know it's bleak when even a trip to RadioShack 230 00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,091 couldn't lift my spirits. 231 00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:43,356 ANNOUNCER: Professor Proton will be right back after these messages. 232 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:46,077 [♪] 233 00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:48,544 ♪ You're reaching deep inside you ♪ 234 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:51,231 - Go! - ♪ For things you've never known ♪ 235 00:08:52,082 --> 00:08:54,575 ♪ It's been tough, rough going 236 00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,360 ♪ But you haven't gone alone 237 00:08:57,973 --> 00:09:01,325 ♪ Be all that you can be... 238 00:09:01,481 --> 00:09:02,434 Of course. 239 00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,293 ADULT SHELDON: I realized Professor Boucher 240 00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,210 was pushing me to be the best me I could be. 241 00:09:07,706 --> 00:09:09,551 You'd think the person who could teach me 242 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,859 to be the best me I could be was me, 243 00:09:11,944 --> 00:09:15,081 but it was Professor Boucher, after the Army taught him 244 00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,084 to be the best he that he could be. 245 00:09:17,169 --> 00:09:18,695 Now it was up to me 246 00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:21,965 to help us be the best "we" we could be. 247 00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:24,778 I think you're going to like this one, sir. 248 00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:33,325 Do it again. 249 00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:34,864 Yes, sir, sir. 250 00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:37,835 Here you go. 251 00:09:38,014 --> 00:09:40,933 [♪] 252 00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,663 ♪ But it was just another ♪ 253 00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:45,748 - ♪ Piece of paper... ♪ - Again. 254 00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,671 Yes, sir, sir. 255 00:09:48,059 --> 00:09:51,083 ♪ And it really didn't mean one little thing ♪ 256 00:09:51,168 --> 00:09:55,731 ♪ To you from the very start 257 00:09:55,816 --> 00:09:58,949 ♪ Just another piece of paper... ♪ 258 00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:02,160 Oh, at least use a straight-edge. 259 00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:05,410 ♪ Just another piece of paper 260 00:10:05,613 --> 00:10:09,113 ♪ Tearing us apart 261 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:14,863 ♪ And it is just another piece of paper... ♪ 262 00:10:16,473 --> 00:10:17,976 You wanted to see me, ma'am? 263 00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:21,052 Hello, Professor Boucher. Please, come in, have a seat. 264 00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:22,497 I'd prefer to stand. 265 00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:27,013 Oh. All right, uh, then, I will also stand. 266 00:10:27,098 --> 00:10:28,496 [chuckles] 267 00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:31,462 You know what, um, these are really not standing shoes, 268 00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:33,290 so I'm just gonna sit. 269 00:10:33,418 --> 00:10:35,640 I was hoping that we could have a little chat 270 00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:37,348 about Sheldon Cooper. 271 00:10:39,819 --> 00:10:41,191 I'll start. 272 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,391 Sheldon is 273 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,140 a very important asset to this university. 274 00:10:46,257 --> 00:10:49,704 And we like to keep that little fella happy. 275 00:10:49,789 --> 00:10:51,917 But it seems that your teaching methods 276 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:54,000 are making him unhappy. 277 00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:55,570 You understand? 278 00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,820 - Yes, ma'am, I do. - Great. 279 00:10:57,905 --> 00:11:02,108 You'd like me, to turn his frown upside down. 280 00:11:02,969 --> 00:11:04,053 You know, when you say it, 281 00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:08,364 it sounds more... chilling than fun. 282 00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,098 I'm just saying 283 00:11:10,183 --> 00:11:13,494 that he's a sensitive kid, and you are... 284 00:11:14,139 --> 00:11:16,342 well, whatever this vibe is. 285 00:11:16,607 --> 00:11:17,639 I understand. 286 00:11:17,795 --> 00:11:21,033 Excellent, so you'll take it easy on him? 287 00:11:21,117 --> 00:11:23,993 No. I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't do that. 288 00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,115 You see, uh... 289 00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:29,249 all these "ma'ams," they sound polite, 290 00:11:29,334 --> 00:11:31,663 but then I don't seem to be getting anywhere. 291 00:11:31,748 --> 00:11:33,304 Well, that's because you're not. 292 00:11:34,377 --> 00:11:36,730 You do realize that I'm your boss? 293 00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:38,268 Yes, ma'am, I do. 294 00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:41,562 And do you realize that I have tenure? 295 00:11:41,647 --> 00:11:43,578 Ugh, tenure. 296 00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,272 What fun is it being president 297 00:11:45,357 --> 00:11:47,170 if I can't threaten people's jobs? 298 00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:48,936 May I get back to class now? 299 00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,759 Oh, fine. And fall off, or whatever it is. 300 00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,725 It's "dismissed," ma'am. 301 00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:54,826 Just go. 302 00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:57,740 [laughs softly] 303 00:11:58,078 --> 00:11:59,862 I heard that giggle. 304 00:12:01,284 --> 00:12:03,727 MEEMAW: Okay. Soup's on. 305 00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:06,078 Mmm. Wow, looks good. 306 00:12:06,162 --> 00:12:07,875 [grunts] Oh, geez. 307 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,187 Are you okay? 308 00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,562 Oh, I, uh, I tweaked my back. 309 00:12:11,646 --> 00:12:12,868 Oh. How? 310 00:12:12,952 --> 00:12:14,476 I was helping June out. 311 00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,872 Well, aren't you sweet? 312 00:12:16,956 --> 00:12:19,175 What'd she have you doing for her? 313 00:12:20,553 --> 00:12:22,381 Yeah, this and that. 314 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:24,558 This and that what? 315 00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:28,038 Yeah. This and that and the other thing. 316 00:12:30,381 --> 00:12:32,235 Do you not want to tell me? 317 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:36,805 Well, for the sake of honesty and because she might tell you, 318 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,307 I was helping her take a shower. 319 00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:42,420 You took a shower with her? 320 00:12:42,506 --> 00:12:45,452 She took the shower, I was just assisting. 321 00:12:45,537 --> 00:12:46,873 So she was naked. 322 00:12:47,318 --> 00:12:49,252 For crying out loud, we were married. 323 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,850 I've seen her naked a million times. 324 00:12:50,935 --> 00:12:52,522 You think that is helping? 325 00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:54,568 I knew I shouldn't have been honest. 326 00:12:54,653 --> 00:12:57,343 You shouldn't have been playing bathroom attendant. 327 00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,451 There was nothing sexy about it. 328 00:12:59,576 --> 00:13:01,917 It was like washing a car. 329 00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:03,571 A rusty old car. 330 00:13:03,656 --> 00:13:05,437 Did you scrub her windshield? 331 00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,966 What does that even mean? 332 00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:09,922 Her boobs, genius. 333 00:13:11,053 --> 00:13:12,928 I was helping her in the shower 334 00:13:13,012 --> 00:13:15,014 so she didn't fall down. 335 00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:17,802 Well, fine. 336 00:13:17,886 --> 00:13:19,413 And boobs are headlights. 337 00:13:19,684 --> 00:13:21,263 Everybody knows that. 338 00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,116 What are you doing? 339 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,857 Watching Sheldon struggle with homework. 340 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,198 It's so great. 341 00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:39,177 Come on, think. 342 00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:41,655 - What's going on? - I can't 343 00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,420 figure out this engineering project. 344 00:13:43,505 --> 00:13:46,170 And every time I turn it in, my professor just rips it up. 345 00:13:46,545 --> 00:13:48,255 Well, ain't this the fella you liked? 346 00:13:48,373 --> 00:13:51,108 I did, when I thought he was pushing me to be all I could be, 347 00:13:51,193 --> 00:13:53,513 but it turns out all he can be is mean. 348 00:13:53,724 --> 00:13:55,443 I'm sure you'll figure it out. 349 00:13:55,856 --> 00:13:57,206 Could you talk to him? 350 00:13:57,638 --> 00:13:58,913 You're in college now. 351 00:13:58,998 --> 00:14:00,710 Don't you think you should fight your own battles? 352 00:14:00,794 --> 00:14:02,389 Does telling on him to the president 353 00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:03,522 of the university count? 354 00:14:03,607 --> 00:14:04,616 Did it work? 355 00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,237 No. Then no. 356 00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:08,263 Will you please talk to him? 357 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:10,357 Ooh, what if your mom does it? 358 00:14:10,466 --> 00:14:11,795 But you were both in the Army. 359 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,242 And you're both crabby and impatient. 360 00:14:13,326 --> 00:14:14,724 There's a lot of common ground. 361 00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:17,623 You really got under this guy's skin, huh? 362 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:18,771 It would seem so. 363 00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:21,349 Lot of common ground. 364 00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:23,623 [phone rings] 365 00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:26,028 [TV playing indistinctly] 366 00:14:27,404 --> 00:14:28,437 Hello. 367 00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:29,857 - Hey, June. - Connie. 368 00:14:29,942 --> 00:14:31,810 Just wanted to see if you need anything. 369 00:14:31,895 --> 00:14:33,771 Nah, I'm good, but thank you, though. 370 00:14:33,972 --> 00:14:35,237 You sure? 371 00:14:35,353 --> 00:14:37,943 Groceries? Dishes? 372 00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:40,271 Help in the shower? 373 00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:42,685 Damn it, Dale. 374 00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:43,643 MEEMAW: I'm sorry, 375 00:14:43,728 --> 00:14:45,263 I'm just not comfortable with it. 376 00:14:45,348 --> 00:14:46,795 You think I am? 377 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,271 Last time he saw me naked, gravity was on my side. 378 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,045 Then why'd you ask him to do it? 379 00:14:52,782 --> 00:14:54,232 Who else am I gonna ask, Connie? 380 00:14:54,317 --> 00:14:55,800 You got tons of friends. 381 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,966 I've got acquaintances, I've got clients. 382 00:14:59,283 --> 00:15:00,763 Those aren't exactly people 383 00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,636 you want looking at your hernia scar. 384 00:15:03,039 --> 00:15:04,388 And Dale is? 385 00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:07,114 I got that hernia by dragging him onto the bed 386 00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:09,504 one night he came in passed-out drunk. 387 00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,082 Look, I'm sorry if I 388 00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,822 crossed the line, but you have nothing to worry about. 389 00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:18,144 Okay. 390 00:15:18,229 --> 00:15:20,300 Look, I promise, next time, 391 00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,339 I'll get the kid who mows my lawn 392 00:15:22,424 --> 00:15:24,332 to come over and hose me off in the backyard. 393 00:15:24,582 --> 00:15:25,738 Call me. 394 00:15:26,397 --> 00:15:29,027 I'd be happy to hose you off in the backyard. 395 00:15:29,112 --> 00:15:30,324 [laughs, sighs] 396 00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,652 I got to admit, I'm a little jealous. 397 00:15:33,737 --> 00:15:34,847 Of what? 398 00:15:34,994 --> 00:15:35,980 You. 399 00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,113 Why? 400 00:15:37,668 --> 00:15:39,503 You have the Dale I never got. 401 00:15:40,495 --> 00:15:42,167 I spent a lot of time 402 00:15:42,252 --> 00:15:44,738 polishing that turd, and you get all the benefits. 403 00:15:44,823 --> 00:15:46,915 Hey, I put my time in on that, too. 404 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,309 Not as much as me. 405 00:15:48,394 --> 00:15:50,222 When I met him, he was a mess. 406 00:15:50,307 --> 00:15:53,386 [laughs] You should've seen where I started. 407 00:15:54,312 --> 00:15:56,246 Well, I think we can both agree, 408 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,378 he is one lucky turd. 409 00:15:58,513 --> 00:16:00,167 Amen, sister. 410 00:16:01,069 --> 00:16:03,097 BOUCHER: So, let me guess. 411 00:16:03,268 --> 00:16:05,191 You think I'm being too hard on him 412 00:16:05,276 --> 00:16:06,511 and you want me to lighten up? 413 00:16:06,596 --> 00:16:08,019 He is having a tough time. 414 00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:09,369 It's a tough class. 415 00:16:09,516 --> 00:16:10,781 Look, I get it. 416 00:16:10,962 --> 00:16:12,184 I was in the Army, too, 417 00:16:12,269 --> 00:16:14,317 I-I'm all for being strict, but... 418 00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:16,581 he doesn't even know where he's going wrong. 419 00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,106 You know, maybe you could just 420 00:16:18,191 --> 00:16:19,680 point him in the right direction? 421 00:16:19,765 --> 00:16:21,596 You mean, give him the answer? 422 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,512 No, no. 423 00:16:23,746 --> 00:16:24,837 Would you? 424 00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,318 What do you think? 425 00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:27,953 No. See? 426 00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:31,266 I didn't give you the answer and you figured it out. 427 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:33,719 Look... 428 00:16:34,885 --> 00:16:37,412 ...your son is obviously brilliant, 429 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,196 but coddling him won't prepare him for the real world. 430 00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,930 I've been saying that since the day he was born. 431 00:16:43,015 --> 00:16:45,411 Sometimes you have to break them down to build them back up. 432 00:16:45,496 --> 00:16:47,164 I do that with my football players. 433 00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:49,430 At least, I try to, but then the parents 434 00:16:49,515 --> 00:16:51,824 get all bent out of shape, they come into my office. 435 00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,078 You don't say. 436 00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:55,086 Yeah, you would not believe... 437 00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:58,255 - Oh. Y-You mean me. - Got it. 438 00:16:58,339 --> 00:17:00,471 You figured it out again. 439 00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:02,731 Hey, I'm two for two. 440 00:17:05,996 --> 00:17:07,218 Hey. 441 00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:08,612 Did you talk to my teacher? 442 00:17:08,704 --> 00:17:09,583 I did. 443 00:17:09,668 --> 00:17:11,841 So, is he gonna tell me what I'm doing wrong? 444 00:17:11,926 --> 00:17:13,138 I'm going to. 445 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:15,724 You're sitting here waiting to be handed the answer 446 00:17:15,809 --> 00:17:17,423 and that's not how life is. 447 00:17:17,508 --> 00:17:19,078 You got to work for it. 448 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,211 - I don't want to hear a football pep talk. - Hey. 449 00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:23,208 This isn't football. This is real. 450 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:25,450 Your professor's right. 451 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,005 Now, instead of pouting, 452 00:17:27,090 --> 00:17:28,935 take charge of your own life. 453 00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:33,812 ADULT SHELDON: My dad was right. 454 00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,818 I had to take charge. 455 00:17:36,402 --> 00:17:38,372 And after 20 more minutes of pouting, 456 00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:39,864 that's exactly what I did. 457 00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,216 But despite my best efforts, 458 00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:45,021 I was still no closer to figuring it out. 459 00:17:45,685 --> 00:17:47,225 I was going to have to see my work 460 00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,591 be torn to pieces one more time. 461 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,817 Of course. 462 00:17:55,021 --> 00:17:57,896 I'd been so focused on mathematical perfection 463 00:17:57,981 --> 00:18:00,919 that I hadn't taken into account real-world elements. 464 00:18:01,003 --> 00:18:02,989 Wind can trigger vibrations. 465 00:18:03,074 --> 00:18:06,222 If these vibrations occur at a system's resonant frequency, 466 00:18:06,307 --> 00:18:08,355 then oscillation generates excitation 467 00:18:08,471 --> 00:18:11,028 and a bridge can lose its structural integrity. 468 00:18:11,319 --> 00:18:13,135 Okay, I'm a genius again. 469 00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,837 ADULT SHELDON: I couldn't wait to hand in my paper 470 00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:18,151 and see the proud look on Professor Boucher's... 471 00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,044 No! 472 00:18:21,129 --> 00:18:22,394 I figured it out! 473 00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:25,003 It's wind! It's wind! 474 00:18:27,025 --> 00:18:28,885 I hate engineering. 475 00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:32,409 WOLOWITZ: Wait, so after all this time, 476 00:18:32,494 --> 00:18:34,605 that's your problem with engineering? 477 00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:35,650 ADULT SHELDON: Evidently. 478 00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:36,557 WOLOWITZ: So all the teasing 479 00:18:36,642 --> 00:18:38,924 and all the abuse had nothing to do with me? 480 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,674 ADULT SHELDON: I'll admit, at first, I had a chip on my shoulder 481 00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:44,877 because of that class, but then it was mostly you. 482 00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,877 WOLOWITZ: Unbelievable. When will I learn? 483 00:18:46,962 --> 00:18:48,358 ADULT SHELDON: I could give you that answer, 484 00:18:48,442 --> 00:18:49,968 but if you figure it out for yourself, 485 00:18:50,058 --> 00:18:51,392 it'll mean so much more. 486 00:18:51,509 --> 00:18:53,389 WOLOWITZ: Goodbye, Sheldon. ADULT SHELDON: Bye. 487 00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:56,601 You wanted to see me, ma'am? 488 00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,110 Professor. 489 00:18:58,384 --> 00:19:01,085 I understand you locked Sheldon out of class. 490 00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,602 Well, he was late. That's my policy. 491 00:19:03,746 --> 00:19:05,661 I need you to do me a favor. 492 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,131 Yes? 493 00:19:08,216 --> 00:19:10,003 Tell me exactly what his face looked like 494 00:19:10,087 --> 00:19:11,399 when it happened. 495 00:19:11,578 --> 00:19:13,235 Wh... Seriously? 496 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,108 Oh... Paint me a picture. 497 00:19:15,224 --> 00:19:17,925 I want to feel like I was the one who closed that door. 498 00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:19,423 Oh, I'm gonna sit for this. 499 00:19:20,165 --> 00:19:22,276 Okay, so he approached 500 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,915 the door with that smug look he has. 501 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,441 - Ugh. I know it well. - Then, 502 00:19:26,526 --> 00:19:28,269 when he realized it was locked, 503 00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:32,750 his face fell into shock and disbelief. 504 00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:34,273 [laughs] Nice. 505 00:19:34,358 --> 00:19:36,099 - Uh, show me. - Do the face. 506 00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:41,154 [chuckles] 507 00:19:41,736 --> 00:19:42,992 [laughs] 508 00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,215 Oh, sir, 509 00:19:45,525 --> 00:19:47,969 you have turned my frown upside down. 510 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:51,163 You are welcome, ma'am. [laughs] 511 00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,633 [laughing continues...] Subtitles Synchronized by srjanapala36634

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