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ADULT SHELDON:
Engineering has a rich
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00:00:03,484 --> 00:00:05,007
and storied history,
3
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:07,492
dating back to ancient times.
4
00:00:07,726 --> 00:00:11,215
Some consider it the single most
important field of study...
5
00:00:11,316 --> 00:00:12,695
Okay, w-wha... no.
Stop.
6
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:14,611
I'm sorry.
Howard, I can't do this.
7
00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:16,658
WOLOWITZ: You asked me to write you
an introduction to engineering.
8
00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:18,415
ADULT SHELDON: Yes, and if I wanted
a comedy routine,
9
00:00:18,499 --> 00:00:19,739
I'd have gone to Billy Crystal.
10
00:00:19,904 --> 00:00:21,082
WOLOWITZ: Just let me read it.
11
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:22,067
[clears throat]
12
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,164
[♪]
13
00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:25,960
Engineering has a rich
and storied history
14
00:00:26,045 --> 00:00:28,187
dating back to ancient times.
15
00:00:28,272 --> 00:00:30,538
Some consider it the single
most important field of study
16
00:00:30,623 --> 00:00:31,562
known to man,
17
00:00:31,647 --> 00:00:34,851
from the wheel to the
International Space Station,
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00:00:35,342 --> 00:00:36,640
which I went to.
19
00:00:36,725 --> 00:00:38,195
ADULT SHELDON:
Honestly, this again?
20
00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:40,079
WOLOWITZ: Like we don't hear
about your Nobel Prize
21
00:00:40,163 --> 00:00:41,289
all the time.
22
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,383
ADULT SHELDON: It's not my fault
people ask about it.
23
00:00:43,467 --> 00:00:45,773
WOLOWITZ: Because you're always
wearing it!
24
00:00:45,858 --> 00:00:47,367
You have it on right now.
25
00:00:47,452 --> 00:00:49,344
- ADULT SHELDON: Look how shiny it is.
- [Wolowitz sighs]
26
00:00:49,428 --> 00:00:50,702
WOLOWITZ:
Just tell your story.
27
00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:53,506
ADULT SHELDON:
My own history with engineering
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00:00:53,591 --> 00:00:56,506
began spring semester
of my freshman year.
29
00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:57,663
Good morning.
30
00:00:57,998 --> 00:00:59,389
I'm Professor Boucher,
31
00:00:59,539 --> 00:01:01,811
and this
is Civil Engineering Lab.
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00:01:02,456 --> 00:01:05,952
Class begins at 0900,
which is...
33
00:01:07,481 --> 00:01:08,975
...now.
34
00:01:10,341 --> 00:01:11,506
In this course,
35
00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:13,038
we're going to apply
the principles
36
00:01:13,123 --> 00:01:14,562
of static mechanical forces...
37
00:01:14,647 --> 00:01:15,825
[knocks on door]
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00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,530
I'm in this class.
39
00:01:17,738 --> 00:01:19,743
This class started at 0900,
40
00:01:19,834 --> 00:01:23,694
so... no, you're not.
41
00:01:25,420 --> 00:01:26,741
As I was saying,
42
00:01:26,826 --> 00:01:27,983
Uh, yes?
43
00:01:28,068 --> 00:01:30,913
I appreciate your use
of the 24-four hour time format.
44
00:01:31,112 --> 00:01:33,763
Were you aware that while often
referred to as "military time,"
45
00:01:33,848 --> 00:01:35,475
it actually dates back
to the Egyptians?
46
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,306
I'm aware that the class
is now starting at 0901.
47
00:01:39,548 --> 00:01:41,858
Is it all right with you
if I begin?
48
00:01:41,943 --> 00:01:43,022
Please.
49
00:01:43,691 --> 00:01:46,956
ADULT SHELDON: One minute in
and I was already his favorite.
50
00:01:47,643 --> 00:01:50,792
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
51
00:01:50,855 --> 00:01:53,469
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
52
00:01:53,589 --> 00:01:56,097
♪ I bet I could be your hero
53
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:58,933
♪ I am a mighty little man
54
00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:03,143
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
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00:02:03,227 --> 00:02:04,222
Season 05 Episode 07
Aired on: November 18, 2021.
56
00:02:04,307 --> 00:02:05,278
Episode Title: "An Introduction to
Engineering and a Glob of Hair Gel"
57
00:02:05,363 --> 00:02:08,397
This course is about
practical applications.
58
00:02:08,481 --> 00:02:11,617
This isn't about fancy theories
or what works in a classroom.
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00:02:11,701 --> 00:02:13,101
If a tunnel collapses,
60
00:02:13,185 --> 00:02:14,751
the only math
that's gonna matter
61
00:02:15,256 --> 00:02:16,591
is the body count.
62
00:02:18,524 --> 00:02:20,355
You.
Sheldon Cooper.
63
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,802
Son, I'll learn your name
if you make it to midterms.
64
00:02:22,887 --> 00:02:24,630
Right now,
you're just a number to me.
65
00:02:24,714 --> 00:02:26,224
Ooh, can I be number one?
66
00:02:26,309 --> 00:02:27,982
That's what Captain Picard
calls Commander Riker
67
00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,984
on Star Trek: Next Generation.
68
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,474
You need to listen more
and talk less.
69
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:36,239
Is that clear,
number one?
70
00:02:37,269 --> 00:02:38,709
Aye, Captain.
71
00:02:38,903 --> 00:02:39,966
Hmm.
72
00:02:41,556 --> 00:02:42,948
[phone rings]
73
00:02:44,161 --> 00:02:45,186
Ballard's.
74
00:02:45,271 --> 00:02:46,304
Hello.
75
00:02:46,388 --> 00:02:48,060
- Hey, what's up?
- Oh, nothing.
76
00:02:48,145 --> 00:02:50,890
- I just called to say hello.
- Oh.
77
00:02:51,169 --> 00:02:53,616
Gee, I don't think I've done
that in my entire life.
78
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,044
You want me
to hang up?
79
00:02:55,129 --> 00:02:56,458
No. Uh-uh.
80
00:02:57,614 --> 00:02:59,466
W...
But what happens next?
81
00:02:59,611 --> 00:03:01,084
[phone beeps]
Oh, wait, hang on.
82
00:03:01,169 --> 00:03:02,114
I got another call.
83
00:03:02,199 --> 00:03:04,341
All right, fine,
yeah, sure, I can w...
84
00:03:04,677 --> 00:03:05,678
Hello?
85
00:03:05,763 --> 00:03:07,100
JUNE: Hey, Connie.
June.
86
00:03:07,185 --> 00:03:08,786
Hi, June.
What's going on?
87
00:03:08,871 --> 00:03:10,807
I know you have a hair
appointment this afternoon,
88
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,271
but I'm gonna have
to cancel.
89
00:03:12,356 --> 00:03:13,665
Everything okay?
90
00:03:13,750 --> 00:03:16,216
No, I busted my knee up
pretty good.
91
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,372
Oh. Does Dale know?
92
00:03:18,457 --> 00:03:20,529
I-I'm on the other line
with him.
93
00:03:20,614 --> 00:03:22,750
No, not yet.
Yeah, you can tell him.
94
00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:23,904
Okay, hang on.
95
00:03:24,333 --> 00:03:25,255
Hello?
96
00:03:25,347 --> 00:03:26,897
I'm so sorry,
who's this?
97
00:03:27,037 --> 00:03:28,247
It's been so long.
98
00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:30,217
I'm on the phone with June.
99
00:03:30,302 --> 00:03:31,480
She hurt her knee.
100
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,583
How?
101
00:03:32,993 --> 00:03:34,051
Well, hold on.
102
00:03:35,236 --> 00:03:36,354
How'd you hurt it?
103
00:03:36,438 --> 00:03:37,965
Oh, it's so embarrassing.
104
00:03:38,142 --> 00:03:40,936
I slipped on a glob
of hair gel at the salon.
105
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:42,158
Wait a minute.
106
00:03:42,852 --> 00:03:46,173
She slipped on a glob
of hair gel at the salon.
107
00:03:46,258 --> 00:03:47,064
[laughs]
108
00:03:47,149 --> 00:03:48,486
Oh, nice.
109
00:03:48,864 --> 00:03:50,692
Well,
that was worth the wait.
110
00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:54,252
SHELDON:
And then, at exactly 9:00,
111
00:03:54,337 --> 00:03:56,679
he locked the doors and wouldn't
let any latecomers in.
112
00:03:56,763 --> 00:03:58,041
That seems a little harsh.
113
00:03:58,126 --> 00:03:59,923
He's so intolerant.
It's fantastic.
114
00:04:00,008 --> 00:04:02,870
He also wears a bow tie,
and instead of using my name,
115
00:04:02,955 --> 00:04:04,134
he gave me a number.
116
00:04:04,219 --> 00:04:05,851
I don't think
I like that, either.
117
00:04:05,936 --> 00:04:07,425
No, it's great.
It's like we're robots.
118
00:04:07,509 --> 00:04:08,962
And guess what my number is.
119
00:04:09,158 --> 00:04:10,142
Number two?
120
00:04:10,227 --> 00:04:11,409
SHELDON:
No, number one,
121
00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:12,931
like Riker on Star Trek.
122
00:04:13,016 --> 00:04:15,413
But number two is also good.
Like the pencil.
123
00:04:15,681 --> 00:04:16,658
MARY: Well,
124
00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:18,177
I'm glad
you enjoyed your class.
125
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,484
For our first assignment,
we get to build a bridge.
126
00:04:20,569 --> 00:04:23,097
Professor Boucher was part
of the Army Corps of Engineers,
127
00:04:23,181 --> 00:04:25,186
and he built bridges
all over the world.
128
00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:26,900
You know,
I was also in the Army.
129
00:04:27,081 --> 00:04:29,347
Ooh, perhaps you trudged
across one of his bridges.
130
00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:30,673
How neat would that be?
131
00:04:30,797 --> 00:04:32,758
I bet Dad did cool
Army stuff, too.
132
00:04:32,842 --> 00:04:34,751
Nope. "Trudging" sums it up.
133
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,241
See, number one
is also pretty funny,
134
00:04:37,325 --> 00:04:38,798
'cause it means taking a leak.
135
00:04:38,922 --> 00:04:39,986
[sighs]
136
00:04:40,078 --> 00:04:42,260
- [TV playing indistinctly]
- [doorbell rings]
137
00:04:42,345 --> 00:04:43,353
- Come in.
- [TV stops]
138
00:04:43,438 --> 00:04:45,626
If you're a robber,
I got a shotgun.
139
00:04:45,711 --> 00:04:48,220
It's Connie and Dale.
Don't shoot.
140
00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:49,222
[laughs]
Oh.
141
00:04:49,307 --> 00:04:51,588
Hey. Y'all didn't
have to come by.
142
00:04:51,673 --> 00:04:52,648
MEEMAW:
We just wanted to see
143
00:04:52,732 --> 00:04:53,587
how you're doing.
144
00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,931
Yeah.
Brought your favorite ice cream.
145
00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:57,191
Butter pecan?
146
00:04:58,029 --> 00:04:59,306
What's your second-favorite?
147
00:05:00,827 --> 00:05:02,369
I'll put this away.
148
00:05:03,455 --> 00:05:04,736
So, how's it going?
149
00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:06,673
Do you have anybody
to help you out?
150
00:05:06,759 --> 00:05:09,494
Oh, yeah. These little guys.
151
00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,666
Elvis was onto something.
[chuckles]
152
00:05:11,751 --> 00:05:13,756
Till he keeled
over on the toilet.
153
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,087
He was the king.
154
00:05:15,407 --> 00:05:16,759
That was his throne.
155
00:05:16,861 --> 00:05:17,455
[laughs]
156
00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:20,936
Seriously, now, though,
if you need anything at all,
157
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,417
we are here for you.
158
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:24,938
That's right.
100%.
159
00:05:25,774 --> 00:05:27,009
MEEMAW:
Would you stop?
160
00:05:27,158 --> 00:05:28,597
I was being sincere.
161
00:05:28,744 --> 00:05:31,339
Well, that's for the next
dumb thing you say.
162
00:05:31,423 --> 00:05:32,549
Well, just quit
hitting me, would you?
163
00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:34,181
Well, quit being stupid.
164
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,215
BOUCHER: For your design assignment,
you may decide
165
00:05:38,299 --> 00:05:40,947
between suspension bridges,
truss bridges, beam bridges,
166
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,400
just not Beau Bridges.
167
00:05:45,828 --> 00:05:48,244
And people say engineers
don't have a sense of humor.
168
00:05:49,687 --> 00:05:50,604
Yes?
169
00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,212
What are Beau Bridges?
170
00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,102
That's all for today.
171
00:05:55,186 --> 00:05:57,278
Your initial designs
are due next week.
172
00:05:57,408 --> 00:05:58,757
[students shuffling]
173
00:05:59,973 --> 00:06:02,410
I finished my design
assignment early.
174
00:06:03,628 --> 00:06:05,189
I admire that initiative.
175
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:07,984
Thank you,
I stayed up late to finish it.
176
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,334
My normal bedtime is 2100 hours,
177
00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:12,336
but I was so excited to do it
that I took a power nap
178
00:06:12,420 --> 00:06:14,486
in my Meemaw's back seat
on the drive home.
179
00:06:14,571 --> 00:06:17,205
Uh, you'll need to do this again.
It's wrong.
180
00:06:18,450 --> 00:06:20,096
No, it's not.
181
00:06:21,168 --> 00:06:24,519
Son, I'm giving you
another chance before it's due.
182
00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:27,086
Well, what's wrong with it?
183
00:06:27,171 --> 00:06:28,654
That's your job
to figure out.
184
00:06:29,409 --> 00:06:31,690
I would argue that
it's your job to teach me.
185
00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:38,134
Let's see.
[clears throat]
186
00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:41,518
To start,
this bridge is in pieces.
187
00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:43,364
What do you mean?
188
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,149
Well, two can play at this game.
189
00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,483
Well, now they can't.
190
00:07:04,513 --> 00:07:07,084
And then he ripped up my paper
right in front of me.
191
00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,700
What is this man's problem?
192
00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:10,942
I don't know.
He didn't even use a ruler.
193
00:07:11,027 --> 00:07:12,692
He just ripped it up,
willy-nilly.
194
00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:14,310
Do you want me to
call the school?
195
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:17,103
No, he was in the Army.
I want him to think I'm tough.
196
00:07:17,188 --> 00:07:18,188
Sure.
197
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,521
Well, I'm sorry
you had a bad day.
198
00:07:22,824 --> 00:07:25,308
How about a little
trip to RadioShack?
199
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,669
RadioShack's not gonna
make this better.
200
00:07:28,211 --> 00:07:30,259
It's also not gonna
make it worse, so okay.
201
00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:31,888
You got it.
202
00:07:32,113 --> 00:07:34,489
Maybe he was just intimidated
by my intelligence.
203
00:07:34,691 --> 00:07:36,721
Or maybe
he's an insecure bully
204
00:07:36,806 --> 00:07:39,334
taking out his frustrations
on a little boy.
205
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,292
I like my version better
where I'm intimidating
206
00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:42,942
and not a helpless child.
207
00:07:43,302 --> 00:07:47,342
Okay, he's taking out
his frustrations on a powerful
208
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:49,583
and intimidating young man.
209
00:07:50,082 --> 00:07:51,192
That works.
210
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:52,583
WOMAN: [over TV] Romeo,
211
00:07:52,668 --> 00:07:54,673
wherefore art thou, Romeo?
212
00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:56,333
Hey, baby.
213
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,654
[TV playing indistinctly]
214
00:08:07,144 --> 00:08:09,106
[phone ringing]
215
00:08:09,354 --> 00:08:10,286
Ballard's.
216
00:08:10,371 --> 00:08:12,708
It's me.
Any chance you could swing by?
217
00:08:13,021 --> 00:08:14,552
What do you need?
218
00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,177
Well, the recliner
won't go down,
219
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,223
and I'm stuck in this chair
like a damn fool.
220
00:08:18,318 --> 00:08:20,072
Well, that is a situation.
221
00:08:20,594 --> 00:08:22,077
How long you been stuck?
222
00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,993
Are you gonna help me out
or not?
223
00:08:24,078 --> 00:08:25,954
Oh, just give me
a moment to enjoy it.
224
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,642
Get your ass over here and
you can laugh at me in person.
225
00:08:28,946 --> 00:08:30,454
Eh, I'm on my way.
226
00:08:30,539 --> 00:08:31,814
[exhales]
Thank you.
227
00:08:31,930 --> 00:08:33,439
Got to grab my camera.
[hangs up]
228
00:08:33,524 --> 00:08:34,524
[sighs]
229
00:08:35,813 --> 00:08:38,623
ADULT SHELDON: You know it's bleak
when even a trip to RadioShack
230
00:08:38,708 --> 00:08:40,091
couldn't lift my spirits.
231
00:08:40,176 --> 00:08:43,356
ANNOUNCER: Professor Proton will be
right back after these messages.
232
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:46,077
[♪]
233
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:48,544
♪ You're reaching deep
inside you ♪
234
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:51,231
- Go!
- ♪ For things you've never known ♪
235
00:08:52,082 --> 00:08:54,575
♪ It's been tough, rough going
236
00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:57,360
♪ But you haven't gone alone
237
00:08:57,973 --> 00:09:01,325
♪ Be
all that you can be...
238
00:09:01,481 --> 00:09:02,434
Of course.
239
00:09:02,519 --> 00:09:04,293
ADULT SHELDON:
I realized Professor Boucher
240
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:07,210
was pushing me to be
the best me I could be.
241
00:09:07,706 --> 00:09:09,551
You'd think the person
who could teach me
242
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,859
to be the best me
I could be was me,
243
00:09:11,944 --> 00:09:15,081
but it was Professor Boucher,
after the Army taught him
244
00:09:15,166 --> 00:09:17,084
to be the best he
that he could be.
245
00:09:17,169 --> 00:09:18,695
Now it was up to me
246
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:21,965
to help us be the best
"we" we could be.
247
00:09:22,555 --> 00:09:24,778
I think you're going to like
this one, sir.
248
00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:33,325
Do it again.
249
00:09:33,488 --> 00:09:34,864
Yes, sir, sir.
250
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:37,835
Here you go.
251
00:09:38,014 --> 00:09:40,933
[♪]
252
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,663
♪ But it was just another ♪
253
00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:45,748
- ♪ Piece of paper... ♪
- Again.
254
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,671
Yes, sir, sir.
255
00:09:48,059 --> 00:09:51,083
♪ And it really didn't mean
one little thing ♪
256
00:09:51,168 --> 00:09:55,731
♪ To you from the very start
257
00:09:55,816 --> 00:09:58,949
♪ Just another
piece of paper... ♪
258
00:10:00,126 --> 00:10:02,160
Oh, at least use
a straight-edge.
259
00:10:02,245 --> 00:10:05,410
♪ Just another piece of paper
260
00:10:05,613 --> 00:10:09,113
♪ Tearing us apart
261
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:14,863
♪ And it is
just another piece of paper... ♪
262
00:10:16,473 --> 00:10:17,976
You wanted to see me, ma'am?
263
00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:21,052
Hello, Professor Boucher.
Please, come in, have a seat.
264
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:22,497
I'd prefer to stand.
265
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:27,013
Oh. All right, uh, then,
I will also stand.
266
00:10:27,098 --> 00:10:28,496
[chuckles]
267
00:10:29,027 --> 00:10:31,462
You know what, um, these are
really not standing shoes,
268
00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:33,290
so I'm just gonna sit.
269
00:10:33,418 --> 00:10:35,640
I was hoping that we
could have a little chat
270
00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:37,348
about Sheldon Cooper.
271
00:10:39,819 --> 00:10:41,191
I'll start.
272
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,391
Sheldon is
273
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,140
a very important
asset to this university.
274
00:10:46,257 --> 00:10:49,704
And we like to
keep that little fella happy.
275
00:10:49,789 --> 00:10:51,917
But it seems that
your teaching methods
276
00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:54,000
are making him unhappy.
277
00:10:54,352 --> 00:10:55,570
You understand?
278
00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,820
- Yes, ma'am, I do.
- Great.
279
00:10:57,905 --> 00:11:02,108
You'd like me, to
turn his frown upside down.
280
00:11:02,969 --> 00:11:04,053
You know, when you say it,
281
00:11:04,153 --> 00:11:08,364
it sounds
more... chilling than fun.
282
00:11:08,963 --> 00:11:10,098
I'm just saying
283
00:11:10,183 --> 00:11:13,494
that he's a sensitive kid,
and you are...
284
00:11:14,139 --> 00:11:16,342
well, whatever this vibe is.
285
00:11:16,607 --> 00:11:17,639
I understand.
286
00:11:17,795 --> 00:11:21,033
Excellent, so you'll take it
easy on him?
287
00:11:21,117 --> 00:11:23,993
No. I'm sorry, ma'am,
I can't do that.
288
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,115
You see, uh...
289
00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:29,249
all these "ma'ams,"
they sound polite,
290
00:11:29,334 --> 00:11:31,663
but then I don't seem
to be getting anywhere.
291
00:11:31,748 --> 00:11:33,304
Well, that's because you're not.
292
00:11:34,377 --> 00:11:36,730
You do realize
that I'm your boss?
293
00:11:36,916 --> 00:11:38,268
Yes, ma'am, I do.
294
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:41,562
And do you realize
that I have tenure?
295
00:11:41,647 --> 00:11:43,578
Ugh, tenure.
296
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:45,272
What fun is it being president
297
00:11:45,357 --> 00:11:47,170
if I can't threaten
people's jobs?
298
00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:48,936
May I get back to class now?
299
00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,759
Oh, fine. And fall off,
or whatever it is.
300
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:53,725
It's "dismissed," ma'am.
301
00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:54,826
Just go.
302
00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:57,740
[laughs softly]
303
00:11:58,078 --> 00:11:59,862
I heard that giggle.
304
00:12:01,284 --> 00:12:03,727
MEEMAW:
Okay. Soup's on.
305
00:12:03,812 --> 00:12:06,078
Mmm. Wow, looks good.
306
00:12:06,162 --> 00:12:07,875
[grunts]
Oh, geez.
307
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,187
Are you okay?
308
00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,562
Oh, I, uh, I tweaked my back.
309
00:12:11,646 --> 00:12:12,868
Oh. How?
310
00:12:12,952 --> 00:12:14,476
I was helping June out.
311
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:16,872
Well, aren't you sweet?
312
00:12:16,956 --> 00:12:19,175
What'd she have
you doing for her?
313
00:12:20,553 --> 00:12:22,381
Yeah, this and that.
314
00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:24,558
This and that what?
315
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:28,038
Yeah. This and that
and the other thing.
316
00:12:30,381 --> 00:12:32,235
Do you not want to tell me?
317
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:36,805
Well, for the sake of honesty
and because she might tell you,
318
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,307
I was helping her take a shower.
319
00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:42,420
You took a shower with her?
320
00:12:42,506 --> 00:12:45,452
She took the shower,
I was just assisting.
321
00:12:45,537 --> 00:12:46,873
So she was naked.
322
00:12:47,318 --> 00:12:49,252
For crying out loud,
we were married.
323
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,850
I've seen her naked
a million times.
324
00:12:50,935 --> 00:12:52,522
You think that is helping?
325
00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:54,568
I knew I shouldn't
have been honest.
326
00:12:54,653 --> 00:12:57,343
You shouldn't have been
playing bathroom attendant.
327
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,451
There was nothing sexy
about it.
328
00:12:59,576 --> 00:13:01,917
It was like washing a car.
329
00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:03,571
A rusty old car.
330
00:13:03,656 --> 00:13:05,437
Did you scrub her windshield?
331
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,966
What does that even mean?
332
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:09,922
Her boobs, genius.
333
00:13:11,053 --> 00:13:12,928
I was helping her in the shower
334
00:13:13,012 --> 00:13:15,014
so she didn't fall down.
335
00:13:16,407 --> 00:13:17,802
Well, fine.
336
00:13:17,886 --> 00:13:19,413
And boobs are headlights.
337
00:13:19,684 --> 00:13:21,263
Everybody knows that.
338
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,116
What are you doing?
339
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,857
Watching Sheldon
struggle with homework.
340
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,198
It's so great.
341
00:13:37,713 --> 00:13:39,177
Come on, think.
342
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:41,655
- What's going on?
- I can't
343
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,420
figure out
this engineering project.
344
00:13:43,505 --> 00:13:46,170
And every time I turn it in,
my professor just rips it up.
345
00:13:46,545 --> 00:13:48,255
Well, ain't this
the fella you liked?
346
00:13:48,373 --> 00:13:51,108
I did, when I thought he was
pushing me to be all I could be,
347
00:13:51,193 --> 00:13:53,513
but it turns out
all he can be is mean.
348
00:13:53,724 --> 00:13:55,443
I'm sure
you'll figure it out.
349
00:13:55,856 --> 00:13:57,206
Could you talk to him?
350
00:13:57,638 --> 00:13:58,913
You're in college now.
351
00:13:58,998 --> 00:14:00,710
Don't you think you should
fight your own battles?
352
00:14:00,794 --> 00:14:02,389
Does telling on him
to the president
353
00:14:02,474 --> 00:14:03,522
of the university count?
354
00:14:03,607 --> 00:14:04,616
Did it work?
355
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,237
No.
Then no.
356
00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:08,263
Will you please talk to him?
357
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:10,357
Ooh, what if your mom does it?
358
00:14:10,466 --> 00:14:11,795
But you were both in the Army.
359
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,242
And you're both
crabby and impatient.
360
00:14:13,326 --> 00:14:14,724
There's a lot of common ground.
361
00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:17,623
You really got under
this guy's skin, huh?
362
00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:18,771
It would seem so.
363
00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:21,349
Lot of common ground.
364
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:23,623
[phone rings]
365
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:26,028
[TV playing indistinctly]
366
00:14:27,404 --> 00:14:28,437
Hello.
367
00:14:28,529 --> 00:14:29,857
- Hey, June.
- Connie.
368
00:14:29,942 --> 00:14:31,810
Just wanted to see
if you need anything.
369
00:14:31,895 --> 00:14:33,771
Nah, I'm good,
but thank you, though.
370
00:14:33,972 --> 00:14:35,237
You sure?
371
00:14:35,353 --> 00:14:37,943
Groceries? Dishes?
372
00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:40,271
Help in the shower?
373
00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:42,685
Damn it, Dale.
374
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:43,643
MEEMAW:
I'm sorry,
375
00:14:43,728 --> 00:14:45,263
I'm just not
comfortable with it.
376
00:14:45,348 --> 00:14:46,795
You think I am?
377
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:50,271
Last time he saw me naked,
gravity was on my side.
378
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,045
Then why'd you ask him
to do it?
379
00:14:52,782 --> 00:14:54,232
Who else am I gonna ask,
Connie?
380
00:14:54,317 --> 00:14:55,800
You got
tons of friends.
381
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,966
I've got acquaintances,
I've got clients.
382
00:14:59,283 --> 00:15:00,763
Those aren't exactly people
383
00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,636
you want looking
at your hernia scar.
384
00:15:03,039 --> 00:15:04,388
And Dale is?
385
00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:07,114
I got that hernia
by dragging him onto the bed
386
00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:09,504
one night he came in
passed-out drunk.
387
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,082
Look, I'm sorry if I
388
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,822
crossed the line, but you have
nothing to worry about.
389
00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:18,144
Okay.
390
00:15:18,229 --> 00:15:20,300
Look, I promise, next time,
391
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,339
I'll get the kid
who mows my lawn
392
00:15:22,424 --> 00:15:24,332
to come over and hose me off
in the backyard.
393
00:15:24,582 --> 00:15:25,738
Call me.
394
00:15:26,397 --> 00:15:29,027
I'd be happy to hose you off
in the backyard.
395
00:15:29,112 --> 00:15:30,324
[laughs, sighs]
396
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:33,652
I got to admit,
I'm a little jealous.
397
00:15:33,737 --> 00:15:34,847
Of what?
398
00:15:34,994 --> 00:15:35,980
You.
399
00:15:36,065 --> 00:15:37,113
Why?
400
00:15:37,668 --> 00:15:39,503
You have the Dale
I never got.
401
00:15:40,495 --> 00:15:42,167
I spent a lot of time
402
00:15:42,252 --> 00:15:44,738
polishing that turd,
and you get all the benefits.
403
00:15:44,823 --> 00:15:46,915
Hey, I put my time in
on that, too.
404
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,309
Not as much as me.
405
00:15:48,394 --> 00:15:50,222
When I met him,
he was a mess.
406
00:15:50,307 --> 00:15:53,386
[laughs] You should've seen
where I started.
407
00:15:54,312 --> 00:15:56,246
Well, I think we can both agree,
408
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,378
he is one lucky turd.
409
00:15:58,513 --> 00:16:00,167
Amen, sister.
410
00:16:01,069 --> 00:16:03,097
BOUCHER:
So, let me guess.
411
00:16:03,268 --> 00:16:05,191
You think I'm being
too hard on him
412
00:16:05,276 --> 00:16:06,511
and you want me to lighten up?
413
00:16:06,596 --> 00:16:08,019
He is having a tough time.
414
00:16:08,104 --> 00:16:09,369
It's a tough class.
415
00:16:09,516 --> 00:16:10,781
Look, I get it.
416
00:16:10,962 --> 00:16:12,184
I was in the Army, too,
417
00:16:12,269 --> 00:16:14,317
I-I'm all for being
strict, but...
418
00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:16,581
he doesn't even know
where he's going wrong.
419
00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,106
You know, maybe you could just
420
00:16:18,191 --> 00:16:19,680
point him
in the right direction?
421
00:16:19,765 --> 00:16:21,596
You mean, give him the answer?
422
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,512
No, no.
423
00:16:23,746 --> 00:16:24,837
Would you?
424
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,318
What do you think?
425
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:27,953
No.
See?
426
00:16:28,038 --> 00:16:31,266
I didn't give you the answer
and you figured it out.
427
00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:33,719
Look...
428
00:16:34,885 --> 00:16:37,412
...your son
is obviously brilliant,
429
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,196
but coddling him won't prepare
him for the real world.
430
00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,930
I've been saying that
since the day he was born.
431
00:16:43,015 --> 00:16:45,411
Sometimes you have to break
them down to build them back up.
432
00:16:45,496 --> 00:16:47,164
I do that
with my football players.
433
00:16:47,249 --> 00:16:49,430
At least, I try to,
but then the parents
434
00:16:49,515 --> 00:16:51,824
get all bent out of shape,
they come into my office.
435
00:16:51,909 --> 00:16:53,078
You don't say.
436
00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:55,086
Yeah, you would not believe...
437
00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:58,255
- Oh. Y-You mean me.
- Got it.
438
00:16:58,339 --> 00:17:00,471
You figured it out again.
439
00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:02,731
Hey, I'm two for two.
440
00:17:05,996 --> 00:17:07,218
Hey.
441
00:17:07,303 --> 00:17:08,612
Did you talk to my teacher?
442
00:17:08,704 --> 00:17:09,583
I did.
443
00:17:09,668 --> 00:17:11,841
So, is he gonna tell me
what I'm doing wrong?
444
00:17:11,926 --> 00:17:13,138
I'm going to.
445
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:15,724
You're sitting here waiting
to be handed the answer
446
00:17:15,809 --> 00:17:17,423
and that's not how life is.
447
00:17:17,508 --> 00:17:19,078
You got to work for it.
448
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:21,211
- I don't want to hear a football pep talk.
- Hey.
449
00:17:21,296 --> 00:17:23,208
This isn't football.
This is real.
450
00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:25,450
Your professor's right.
451
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,005
Now, instead
of pouting,
452
00:17:27,090 --> 00:17:28,935
take charge of your own life.
453
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:33,812
ADULT SHELDON:
My dad was right.
454
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,818
I had to take charge.
455
00:17:36,402 --> 00:17:38,372
And after 20 more minutes
of pouting,
456
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:39,864
that's exactly what I did.
457
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:42,216
But despite my best efforts,
458
00:17:42,301 --> 00:17:45,021
I was still no closer
to figuring it out.
459
00:17:45,685 --> 00:17:47,225
I was going to have
to see my work
460
00:17:47,310 --> 00:17:49,591
be torn to pieces
one more time.
461
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,817
Of course.
462
00:17:55,021 --> 00:17:57,896
I'd been so focused
on mathematical perfection
463
00:17:57,981 --> 00:18:00,919
that I hadn't taken into account
real-world elements.
464
00:18:01,003 --> 00:18:02,989
Wind can trigger vibrations.
465
00:18:03,074 --> 00:18:06,222
If these vibrations occur at
a system's resonant frequency,
466
00:18:06,307 --> 00:18:08,355
then oscillation
generates excitation
467
00:18:08,471 --> 00:18:11,028
and a bridge can lose
its structural integrity.
468
00:18:11,319 --> 00:18:13,135
Okay, I'm a genius again.
469
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,837
ADULT SHELDON: I couldn't wait
to hand in my paper
470
00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:18,151
and see the proud look
on Professor Boucher's...
471
00:18:20,127 --> 00:18:21,044
No!
472
00:18:21,129 --> 00:18:22,394
I figured it out!
473
00:18:22,479 --> 00:18:25,003
It's wind! It's wind!
474
00:18:27,025 --> 00:18:28,885
I hate engineering.
475
00:18:30,165 --> 00:18:32,409
WOLOWITZ:
Wait, so after all this time,
476
00:18:32,494 --> 00:18:34,605
that's your problem
with engineering?
477
00:18:34,689 --> 00:18:35,650
ADULT SHELDON:
Evidently.
478
00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:36,557
WOLOWITZ:
So all the teasing
479
00:18:36,642 --> 00:18:38,924
and all the abuse
had nothing to do with me?
480
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,674
ADULT SHELDON: I'll admit, at first,
I had a chip on my shoulder
481
00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:44,877
because of that class,
but then it was mostly you.
482
00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:46,877
WOLOWITZ: Unbelievable.
When will I learn?
483
00:18:46,962 --> 00:18:48,358
ADULT SHELDON:
I could give you that answer,
484
00:18:48,442 --> 00:18:49,968
but if you figure it out
for yourself,
485
00:18:50,058 --> 00:18:51,392
it'll mean so much more.
486
00:18:51,509 --> 00:18:53,389
WOLOWITZ: Goodbye, Sheldon.
ADULT SHELDON: Bye.
487
00:18:55,249 --> 00:18:56,601
You wanted to see me, ma'am?
488
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,110
Professor.
489
00:18:58,384 --> 00:19:01,085
I understand you locked
Sheldon out of class.
490
00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,602
Well, he was late.
That's my policy.
491
00:19:03,746 --> 00:19:05,661
I need you to do me
a favor.
492
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:08,131
Yes?
493
00:19:08,216 --> 00:19:10,003
Tell me exactly
what his face looked like
494
00:19:10,087 --> 00:19:11,399
when it happened.
495
00:19:11,578 --> 00:19:13,235
Wh... Seriously?
496
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,108
Oh... Paint me a picture.
497
00:19:15,224 --> 00:19:17,925
I want to feel like I was
the one who closed that door.
498
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:19,423
Oh, I'm gonna sit for this.
499
00:19:20,165 --> 00:19:22,276
Okay, so he approached
500
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:23,915
the door with that smug look
he has.
501
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,441
- Ugh. I know it well.
- Then,
502
00:19:26,526 --> 00:19:28,269
when he realized
it was locked,
503
00:19:28,354 --> 00:19:32,750
his face fell into shock
and disbelief.
504
00:19:32,835 --> 00:19:34,273
[laughs]
Nice.
505
00:19:34,358 --> 00:19:36,099
- Uh, show me.
- Do the face.
506
00:19:39,282 --> 00:19:41,154
[chuckles]
507
00:19:41,736 --> 00:19:42,992
[laughs]
508
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,215
Oh, sir,
509
00:19:45,525 --> 00:19:47,969
you have turned my frown
upside down.
510
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:51,163
You are welcome, ma'am.
[laughs]
511
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,633
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