All language subtitles for Good.Boys.For.Life.2021.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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(upbeat music)

- [Toddrick] Man, my pops
told me life could get crazy,

but who knew, this shit could go down.

In life you've got two
choices, left or right?

Not in this goddamn new millennial world.

You can go inside, up,
down, to the corner,

lean, tilt, all types of shit.

And every move you make is
one you're going to pay for.

I'm just trying to get the less bill.

This is how it all started.

This is me, Toddrick Franks, big toot.

Ladies call me Teddy Todd.

You know, life was good for a
small time hustler like myself

until I ran into Quanita's boyfriend

that just got out of prison.

He thinks I'm her new booty.

So he want to kill my ass.

Now I'm on the run.

Broke, stanky socks, all that.

(hip hop beats)

(hip hop beats)

This is Quanita's boyfriend,

Tyrone, ex convict, mentally
ill, ADHD headed motherfucker.

(horn honking)

- Well, I was headed to your
pad and stuff like that.

Damn, watch that shit, homeboy.

Hey, oh, hey, hold on, babe.

This motherfucker.

Hey, hey bro.
- Whoa, whoa, calm down.

- What's up with you homie?
What you doin nigger?

- Well, I was about to say sorry,

but nigger you need to calm down.

- I'm having a bad day, bro.

Bad, nigga, I'm fresh out homeboy.

- Fresh out of what?

- I'm fresh out, nigga,
I'm fresh out nigga.

- The liquor store?

- It don't matter, nigga.
- Okay.

- Shit, you got any weed?

- Nah, I don't, I don't
smoke weed no more.

- Shit, you look like you do.

Look at your outfit, man.

This motherfucker look like you

on Sherm Sticks or something.
- Sherm Sticks.

- I mean, I don't know you
homeboy, but you owe me a beer.

- Okay, I'm a get you.
- I need a beer.

How you gunna get a beer though?

- I get you the beer Wednesday.

- How you gunna get the beer nigger?

- I don't, I don't.

- How you get a beer? No I
can't wait till Wednesday.

- But I'm not going to the store.

- Nigger, that's a whole
nother motherfuckin'' week.

- I was going, actually
I was going this way.

- Nigger seem like you
confused and shit like that.

- Cause you make me
nervous nigger, damn, I.

- This is Jay, another nigga
responsible for my predicament,

working at target.

Or more like fuckin' around and at Target.

(metal clanging)

(horn honking)
- Out the way bitch.

- So here's dusty,
motherfucker got razor bumps

up on your mother fuckin' neck

and all that other bullshit going on,

but you goin bump into my beer nigga.

This beer costs more than your outfit.

- Okay.

- Your shit look drunk.

God damn, what you got
to tone motherfuckin'

fake ass Nike's, what
the fuck is them psyches?

Wow.

- He made me so nervous. I
was shaking and laughing.

Made me pee in my
underwear, at the same time.

I couldn't get away.
- Hold on, no you didn't.

- You ain't got the Dodge
Avengers on there huh.

Dodge Avenger Adidas.

Hey, but next time you walk
past real nigga's like me,

hey man, watch that shit nigga.

Hey, 'cause niggas like
me knock your head off.

I ain't even lying, know what I'm sayin',

that's some bullshit homie.

Hey, peace though nigga.

(hip hop music)

You know what I'm saying,
this motherfucker over here

bump into a stranger
man, had to roast his,

takin' the shit and I'm
gunna call you back though,

you know what I'm saying, it's a trip.

Yeah, I'm almost near you.

Yeah, so a check this out homeboy.

- You came back.
- Hell yeah nigga.

I got problems nigga.

I got problems. I can't
even drink my beer.

This motherfucker quarter gone and shit.

(hip hop music)

- I got the chicken, it's finger lickin'.

I got the chicken, it's finger lickin'.

I got the chicken, it's finger lickin'.

I got the chicken, chicken, chicken.

Ooo, break it down now.

(robot beeping)

Chicken, chicken,

chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken.

Chicken, chicken (giggles).

Yeah, see how that look.

You know what I'm sayin. Aite.

TikTok famous bitch.

- Nigga.
- It's just.

- It was all foam that came out.

I don't give a fuck nigga,

foam equals liquid to nigga,

so when you bump into a nigga,

you bumped me hella hard to nigga.

- You out here drinkin and walkin.

- I don't give a fuck,

I don't give a fuck nigga,
I'm from the hood nigga.

That's how we do it nigga.

You supposed to walk
the opposite side nigga,

man, I don't give a fuck about
your candy lane licking ass

motherfucker.

- I am at a level that
I can not take the day.

- Nigga I don't give a fuck
about what you can't take.

Nigga you gonna buy me
a beer. Like I told you.

Nigga I don't know what
the fuck you going to do

with these weak knuckles.

- Look I ain't got time for this man.

- I love it (finger clicking)

I love it (finger clicking)

I gotta get back to work.

Ripping.

- But you had drank half of that.

I don't give a fuck
how much I drank nigga.

- You not goin punk me.

- Nigga you just got
punked. You flexing either.

You gonna get me a beer nigga,
you gonna ger me a beer.

I don't give a fuck, hey,
you better be prepared nigga.

- It's not even that type of party.

Why you putting your beer down?

(skin slapping)

- Nigga, now you owe me somethin homie,

you owe me somethin nigga

- I don't owe you anythin.
- You owe me somethin nigga.

You owe me somethin nigga.

(skin slapping)

- (panting) Help me.

He punched me in the back,
who punches in the back?

(puffy) Who punches people in the back?

(gasps) Fuck.

I don't know who the fuck that was.

Who punches in the God damn back huh?

That's like breaking the code.

Oh shit, he's coming back.

(gasping) Look man, I said sorry.

What do you want?

This isn't even in the hood.

- You don't want to see me nigga.

- Owe my fingers.

- She don't want to see me nigga.

Fuck your fingers nigga.

She don't want to see me
cause of your punk ass.

Hey homeboy.

- Thickem.

How you doing?

Do you need help with anything.

- I'm okay.

- I'm at your service, young lady.

- Thank you.

- I see you a tryin to
get your a bleach on.

I feel you, I like to
be very clean myself.

I'm a holler at you.

Girl you thick as hell, as thick as hell.

- God damn man, hold on.

Hey man.

- I got beat the fuck up,

crawln, look for my mama like a baby.

- You kinda fucked up my day homeboy.

Nah, you kind of fucked
up my day little nigga.

You know what I'm saying?

My girlfriend don't want to see me

and your motherfuckin',

chucky cheese reject looking
ass is on the fuckin' ground,

looking like a motherfuckin'
God damn sewer rat

from New York.

Nigga with some motherfuckin'
street clothes on.

What the fuck you nigga,

shredder with a motherfuckin'
Afro-American haircut nigga.

The fuck, nigga where
the fuck you going nigga.

See you got, you got hurt.

I'm over here singing songs like

"By my self, if you was
with me now, oh yeah."

But see, I can't sing that shit no more.

Cause you fucked me up.

I'm gonna have to get me a
pack of Newports, homeboy.

You know what I'm saying?

Hey, you know what we going
re interate the ground nigga.

I told you, I told you, I can't do shit

because you fuck my date up nigga.

Look, look, look, it's been a long

motherfuckin' time for me.

And I ain't seen her in since,

nigga since God knows when.

Nigga she been my bitch
nigga since high school.

- I didn't.

- You gunna fuck that up for me.

"By myself, if you was
with me now, oh girl."

I can't sing that shit no more.

- I don't think she.

- I can't sing that shit no more nigga.

Nigga I done left her like

12 motherfuckin' messages and shit

and my bitch won't pick up
my motherfuckin' phone calls

' cause you of your fuckin'.
- This nigga got me crawln.

- Nigga get the.
- This was a bruise,

of my pride, my manhood.

I got nothin' left.

All I was thinking at the time was

I gotta get the fuck out of town.

- Get your ass back down
on the ground nigga,

I ain't done talkin.

(crying)

You know what I'm saying?

I can't even sing a
motherfuckin' good song

on that cheap ass couch that I
paid for from Wallmart nigga.

- I didn't even know the
Beatles was out no more.

Blink-182 y'all done.

(mumbles) blew the vans
off of these bitches.

Oh shit, victim.

Alright, alright, here we go, here we go.

Back on the crime.

(hip hop music)

How you doin?

- Good, how are you?

- Oh, I love your glasses.

- Nigga I ain't seen Quanita

in a long motherfuckin' time nigga.

Long mother.
- Nigga, Quanita nigga.

- Nigga yeah, Quanita nigga.

What's wrong with you nigga?

How you know her name nigga,
how you know my bride nigga?

- I don't know her.

- How you doing my bride nigga?

I ain't seen that bitch in 10 years nigga.

That's, you know that's my
motherfuckin' wife, right?

- I don't, I don't.

- That's my shit, we got married nigga.

And she was giving me all
these commissary notes

and all this other shit,

but you gonna talk some
weak shit like that.

- I don't know Quanita man.

- How you know, how you
know, how you know my,

how you know her, how you know her nigga?

- I don't, I just sayin her name?

- How you know my baby.

- I just.
- How you know her?

- I heard about it.

- That's some bull shit nigga.

Are you fuckin'?

- Na, na, no.

- Na. Who's you though?

- Not anymore.
- Who's you?

- I was not never.
- What, not anymore.

- Please.
- Oh man, nah, you owe.

Nah nigga you owe me some.

- Runnin into Quanita's
boyfriend ex boyfriend

or whatever the fuck he is.

He didn't know who I was until.

- Whata you mean you know Quanita?

- I just heard.
- How you know Quanita?

- She had an ad on Craigslist
for furniture and I was goin.

- Ad on Craigslist, oh nigga y'all.

Y'all tellin secrets and shit.

Don't you don't know nothin' about.

- She didn't respond to ad.

- She didn't tell you about me?

- Well she did say
something about you, but.

- What'd she say about me then?

- That you're fine young fella.

- Okay, what else, what else she say?

- I'm interested, come on I'm
inquisitive about the shit.

- She can't wait for you to
get out and rub her feet.

- What else, what else she
say? Keep that shit rollin.

- She said she got these two
boils on the back of the neck

and she knows that you.

And there she is, Sage Lee. Damn

A little asian with all that body.

Make me wanna shoot like a
shotty, bang, bang, bang.

Anyway, that's the women with the plan.

The one who set me up with
this whole entire deal

and this shit don't go down
the way it's supposed to

blame her.

- Okay, you don't know
her butt naked do you.

- But naked.

- Yeah. Did you touch her?

- I didn't, no. She might've been, no.

- She like you nigga?

- She don't even know
me like that, too well.

- And you didn't hit it.

- I didn't for a long time.

- 'Cause five seconds ago
you just said you, you,

you didn't but you did, which one,

I'm kind of fucked up here, you know.

I've been goin for a while, but.

- Okay, well tell Quanita.

- Nigga what about my baby mama?

- I wish her well, I wish you both well.

If you do get married I'm
comin to the weddin, okay.

- Nigga I don't need you at no
motherfuckin' weddin, nigga.

I don't need you around no
motherfuckin' Quanita neitha.

Are you going to call
her up? If you know her?

You know something about her?

- I know her.

- No, you goin to get on
this motherfuckin' phone

and call her up right now nigga.

- I can't call Quanita.

- Yeah you gunna call her on this phone.

You gonna call her, talk to her right now.

Here hold on nigga.

- I don't know.

- She ain't answerin
my motherfuckin' call.

She ain't answerin my motherfuckin' call.

- [Quanita] Hello.
- Hey Quanita.

- What she say nigga?

- It's it's it's me. I'm
with your baby daddy.

- Hey baby, hey baby, I'm
out, I'm out, I'm out.

I was tryin to call you.

I have to have one of
your neighbors call me.

- Did you have this nigga follow me?

- (laughinf) I'm not good looking?

- [Female Shopper] I
don't know, you're pretty.

- Hey, we can make it work.

Older the berry the sweeter the juice.

I thought it was blacker the
berries the sweeter the juice.

- Did you, did you send him?

- Nigga what the fuck you talkin about?

Fuck you talkin about.

- Yeah this is Todd, it's Todd.

Relax, you gunna get me killed
around this motherfucker.

She said that she miss you

and she can't wait to hold your hand.

- Okay, okay nigga you just.

You kinda saved your life though.

- Okay, Cool.

- Answer my motherfucin phone,
I'm out here homeless nigga.

- He said you gotta answer
his phone, he's homeless.

- Yeah, I ain't got nowhere to go.

- He's very violent at this
time, so if you scared.

- I got a job too. I got
a job, just let her know.

- He don't got no job.

- I'm about to be with Amazon.

I'm about to be with Amazon.

- [Toddrick] You ever place an order

at a Chinese restaurant,

but you can't understand them
and they can't understand you,

but you really want them God damn

golden-crispy-fried wontons.

So you walk into that bitch
and start pointing at stuff.

That's what happened to me
and landed me in the lap of

this sexy, sexy, God damn angel, ohh.

Anyway.

She could get it.

She can get it all.

I know you don't want
to see what happened.

So I'm gonna just fast forward
to the part where I finished.

Oh God.

Is this the part?

This is it.

Y'all see all that.

I left my jacket at your house,
I'm gonna need that, right?

- Oh y'all niggas leaving
clothes at each other's house.

- No, no it wasn't even like that.

It's because look, my house,
my package went to her house

and my jacket went to the wrong address.

- I dont understand you, homie.

- Quanita I'll.

- I don't understand you, homie.

- Hold on.

- Nigga, give me my
motherfuckin' phone back.

Hey, what's up Quanita what's up?

You know, I've been out here,

I've been out here calling
you left and right.

And you ain't answering the
phone, none of that shit.

(dramatic music)

Hey homeboy, hey what you,
hey nigga what you say?

Oh I'm a catch you.

(shoes pounding)

(dramatic music)

- I'm a good boy.

- I don't give a fuck about, you gunna do.

- My life.

(fast dramatic music)

- You gunna do this
nigga, you gunna do this.

- That didn't work, it
works in the movies.

(metal clanking)

Why would I put that
down, that's just stupid.

Oh, this shit is happening to fast for me.

I got to plan this out. I've gotta think.

You gotta think.

I will drive, the fuck away from here,

'cause I cannot fight that nigga Tyrone,

and I don't want no business
with no God damn, Quanita.

Believe I let this bitch get
me into trouble like this.

I was just doin my shit,
now I'm down to a suitcase.

With damn near nothin' in it.

Get the fuck out.

Might as well leave it like that though

'cause the motherfucker ain't heavy, shit.

I need a sign.

Do I run?

I mean do I leave, cause it
ain't runnin, I ain't no punk.

Shit going on. Okay.

I don't run from nobody, I'm
saying, but if you get close,

I gotta get the fuck away from you.

- Y'all good over there?

(laughing) Girl, you know
you need some aftershave.

You got all that over there,
you got that over there.

Ooh.

- [Toddrick] The nigga
I'm supposed to kill,

his wife hired me,

but you know what, long story short,

you're going to have to
watch the God damn movie.

But look at him, funky
ass dreads on his head,

lookin like a prison mop.

Looked like somebody just
peed on the top of his shit

and let her dry up in there.

Stanking ass, stank ass nigga.

- In the kitchen (fingers clicking)

- Fuck it, let's make it to this.

To the car, we go.

Just gotta figure out this is.

(phone rings)

My phone.

Hello.

Who is this?

- You don't know who I am, but I know you.

Quanita gave me your number.

- You're friends with Quanita?

- Quanita told me all about you.

I need you to kill somebody.

- Yeah, I can do some
things for some money.

How much we talkin?

- Half a million.

- You sound good all.

Sexy than a motherfucker,
you must look good.

Send me, send me some titties or somein.

No, I'm just saying I can
give a little discount

on what you need me to
do, if I can get some ass.

I know Quanita be with the mad bis. What?

- [Sage Lee] Half a million
dollars, you're set for life.

- Okay. Yeah, I can do it, damn.

I just, ain't trying to
be disrespectful, but.

We got to meet, I'm not just
goin to be doin random shit

for random people, you
know, you sound how you look

why not, why not try, try to make it work.

Ain't nobody goin to do nothin' to you.

You called me to kill somebody, woman.

You know who you talking to?

Because I figured I
know who I'm talking to.

Lets' get this money.

And bring a thong or something.

Because who knows where
the drink might take us?

You drink right? You be drinking.

You drunk right now.

Just touch your nipples or somethin'.

- You nasty, just like my husband.

- I'm just saying this
conversation can be going

in a good spot.

- So, can you do it?

- Yeah, I'll do it.

Quanita's bad business. I
just want to tell you that.

You ain't got to believe me.

(hip hop music)

Make that ass clap though.

Clapity, clap, clapity, clap.

- Okay, all right.

- You're my final destination, baby.

Sweet thang. All right, yeah.

(hip hop music)

Gunna get me some ass
before I get out of town.

(upbeat music)

- This bitch betta have
an ass or somethin.

Soundin all sexy on the phone,
I ain't got no time for this.

Damn you just gonna
open my door like that.

- Hey.
- Hey, yeah.

First time meeting you.

- Took a long time to
get here, I took the bus.

- Kinda comfortable.
- And the train.

My first fuckin' time.

- You almost got shot.

You fine as a motherfucka though.

So what we, what we, what we doin?

- I got you somthin all right.

Happy 4th July. Look I took the bus here.

- What you doin catching a
bus? Thought you was a baller.

- First of all, I don't
want to be followed.

And this is some serious shit
that we're talking about.

- You don't want to be followed,
but you took the bus here

with 13 other nigga's on it.

- And what?

- And a driver?

I'm pretty sure somebody knows who you at.

- No, nobody knows who okay.

I turned the GPS off my phone.

Now.

How are you doing today?

- I don't know.

- Look, I need you to get
rid of somebody for me.

- Okay, I can get rid of somebody,

I could definitely hold on to
them titties for you though.

- No. No thanks, all right.

You need to get rid of my husband.

- Okay.

- So we can get his life insurance money.

- Like taking out the trash or something.

What'd he do to you? He beat you?

What'd he do.

- He is the worst husband ever.

Now he has this life insurance policy,

that's worth a million dollars.

- A million dollars?

Okay. Well I can help with that.

(grunting)

(eagle squawking)

- What the hell are you doing?

- I'm sorry, I just, sometimes in my head

I've been thinking about
our future endeavors

and them two titties, I
meant you, let's do it.

- No.

- What, I thought you
said you was goin do it.

- I didn't say that. Did I say that?

- We meet in the parking lot,

I don't know what was going on.

Maybe we should just get.
- No, were not.

Get that zipper back on, okay.
You're not doing all that.

Look I don't have a lot of time, it's a.

You know, I'm not tryn'a be.

- You kinda paranoid, you on drugs?

- No.

- You gotta be on drugs.

- We are doing some criminal
activities right now.

Talking about killing somebody,

planning on killing somebody.

- You talkin about killin
somebody. I'm just listening.

- And you're gunna do it.

- I'm not going to jail for nobody.

- So you're not going to do
it. Is that what you said?

- I said I'm not gunna go
to jail? I'm goin do it.

- Listen. Is this a rental?

- No, its not a rental.

Stop it.
- Shit.

- Okay, I gotta go.

(hand slapping)

- You at least drop
you off at the bus stop

or you gunna, you gunna walk from here?

- I guess you can drop
me off at the bus stop.

- You know what, you're
right, you should walk.

You definitely should walk.
Okay, get out of my car.

We getting paid in cash?

Cause I don't have any
of those cash apps and.

- Yeah, whatever you want.
- Googles and shit.

- All right
- Okay.

It was nice seeing you.
- Call me later.

(hip hop music)

- Oh man, five more minutes,

out this bitch, its been
a long ass five minutes.

How's it going RG.

(fast drums)

Ooh, fresh out this
motherfucker. Fuck you.

Ha, hey.

What's up baby?

How you doing? You know what I'm sayin?

How you doin sexy mama?

Looking good in your leopard skin, ha.

Let me call wifey.

What's up sexy mama, what you wearin?

Come on baby. Why you
got to play me like that?

I just want to lick at the
crest between your toes.

Can I do that?

- Get your ass home and show me.

(Jay laughing)

Now you talkin' my language.

Alright, daddy gunna be home in a minute.

Call me daddy, call me daddy hoe.

Alright, alright.

- Did you get my shit?

- Yeah, I got everything on the list.

I got, I got everything on the list.

(person chatting)

- Excuse you.

- Get off the phone nigga.

- Okay. Okay.

Damn.

Ooh, about to get some pussy.

Oh no, you didn't just touch me.

- First of all nigga, check ya tone.

- First of all, what's
up with your stick dog

and I ain't buying nothin' you sellin'.

- Calm down, I'm trying to help you out.

You got a flat tire, man.

- My front. How do you
even know what car I'm in?

- That one over there.
- What you talkin about?

(loud bang)

It's okay, it's okay, I know him.

We're playin.

Fuck, get your big ass up.

(grunting)

Shit, don't fart nigga,
don't fart, don't fart.

(fabric rustling)

(metal clanking)

(heavy breathing)

- [Toddrick] And that right
there is the dirty fake cop.

Lieutenant Mike Miller.

Oh, freaky, booty touchy,
dirty ass white man.

Got a BBW black bitch fetish.

- Let's see what's going on
in the neighborhood today.

Morning, afternoon, whatever (laughs).

Yeah, good day to be alive.

Lets see what we can get into today.

- How you want it done? Do
you want me to choke him out?

You won't drop him down?
With the whole smother thing.

You want me to tie him up?

- Put him in the trunk and
cut up his body? All right.

Take a picture and send
it to me. Let me know.

- I'm not doing no labor work.

I'm not cuttin' no God damn body.

- Burn him.

- Not in my God damn car. Where
I'm supposed to burn him at?

- In the park somewhere,
put him in a trashcan.

- Well that works for me.
- Shoot the motherfucker.

And make sure he bleeds.
Make sure he records it.

And then send it to me.

- Yeah. Not from my phone,

but I can show you what
the body is once I'm done.

- Yup.

- Okay, but can I see your body first?

- No.

(crickets chirping)

(suspenseful music)

- What the fuck.

Hey.

Hey.

Get me out this bitch.

Oh, I need some water.

(screams)

Help.

Help.

Fuck, oh, nigga, no (crying).

Just don't do me in the
booty, I got hemorrhoids.

I can't take it.

Hey, hey I'm claustrophobic
nigga, let me out this bitch.

- [Toddrick] Hey, hey,
hey, shut the fuck up man.

This is a God damn CRV
you got enough trunk room.

I didn't even tie your fuckin'
legs. You can set up bitch.

(hip hop music)

- [Jay] Fuck man, why you
got me back out here man,

I ain't got no money.

- Damn it (mutters).

(tapping glass)

Shut the fuck up.

God damn it nigga, if you
don't shut the fuck up,

I'm gunna have to gag ya.

- Fuck that,

why you got me tied up
in this motherfucker dog?

If there's money you want
my EBT card in my wallet.

- If I wanted money, I would
have just robbed your ass.

This is a kidnapping.

I'm gonna need you to
get that through your

motherfuckin' head.

You have been kidnapped.
You have been tied up.

You're lucky, ain't nothin'
happened to you yet,

but it seems like it's going to happen.

Cause you won't shut the fuck up.

- Nigga, I got a big knot
in the back of my head,

as big as your God damn eyeballs.

- You still talkin, okay.
- Hold on, hold on.

- Close the trunk now.

- [Jay] Hey man, don't do me like this.

Oh, come on man. This
is black on black crime.

Come on man this black on black crime.

What the fuck.

(hip hop music)

- Gunna be some nice ham out today.

I wana see some booties twerkin.

Asses jiggling.

Yeah.

Get my swerve on a a little bit maybe, oh.

(dance music)

- Hey man, the police
are gonna find me bro.

Look bro, I'm very popular. The
police is gonna find me man.

You're not going to get away with it.

- The police is gonna find you.

- Yeah, bra totally.

- What the hell is this? You're a cop?

- It's my badge nigga.

I'm the police. And I already found you.

- What the fuck, come on dog.

Special forces.

- [Toddtick] Yeah. Watch your head.

- You do look a little special.

- You know that saying,

"Once you go black, you
will never go back."

(crickets chirping)

You know how I feel about that?

Once you go black, you
want to get on crack.

(crickets chirping)

- That means, okay.

- And I want to get on crack.

- That's the opioid addiction talkin.

- No, he makes me want to get on drugs.

(grunting)

- Fuck.

Wait a minute.

He didn't take my phone.
Stupid motherfucker.

Got you now nigga. Get the fuck outa here.

Hello. Hello.

Hey, hey, I think I'm
being kidnapped, bro.

I need you to come get me.

I don't know where I am nigga.

I'm moving in a fuckin'g
car. Just come get me.

I got an iPhone. I'm gonna
drop you my location.

Um, fuck.

- Hey, who the fuck are you talking to?

- Oh shit, nigga I got no phone.

Oh, God Damn it.

- Give me that.
- Come on.

(plastic breaking)

Hey, I was on the phone.

- [Toddrick] Look, if you
don't shut the fuck up,

I'm gunna kill you.

That's what I'm gonna do.

- Look bro, this must be your first time.

Cause you've sure is new to this.

- Just because I forgot
to gag your stupid ass,

and fuckin' take your phone,

don't mean I won't shoot
you in the God damn head.

- Hey, hey, hey, you got it.

- Shit.

(muttering)

Dead fuckin' palm tree on your head.

I fuckin', oow.

- [Jay] I know you aint
talkin bout nobody's hair.

- We all go wants and needs, don't we?

- Really what's yours?

- I need money. Lots of it.

- I got money dog, I can get you money.

(hip hop music)

- [Toddrick] You got killer
boobies, I just wanna touch em.

- (cackles) I want the God damn money.

- (Toddrick gasps)

- Money, money, money.

- Oh, I got it.
- It's what I want.

So, not matter how he acted,
that million dollars put his.

Okay, I'm with it.

- No not really, It was more so he was,

he started to be a whore.

A little slut.

- [Toddrick] Okay.

- He is such a slut.

- [Toddrick] You like wall sex?

(jazz music)

(screeching)

- No, I don't like any kind of animal sex.

- [Toddrick] Animal sex?

- And your not Nigerian, okay.

I once had sex with a
Nigerian and they were rough.

Like (screeching)

(squealing).

- [Toddrick] You want some jungle dick,

is that what you talkin about?

- (laughs)

- Hey, hey come on let's talk
about this real quick dog.

- Get your ass back in.
- Hey, hey, hey.

You ain't gotta do all that, come on man,

lets talk about this.

You can let a brother go.

- [Toddrick] Half the money
you probably talking bout,

ain't big enough for me.

I'm talking about set for life money, boy.

- Come on nigga.

Like where are you going
to get that from me,

I just work at Target.

- [Toddrick] It's called life insurance.

You're worth a milli sleep.

- Nigga, I'm awake.

- [Toddrick] Dead fool.

- All right.

Alright, alright, alright, hold on.

Hold on nigga, shit.

Now you gunna have real fuckin' luck

trying to get that from my wife, buddy.

(laughing) Yo dumb ass.

Hey, how the fuck you
know I got life insurance

in the first place?

- [Toddrick] Bingo.

I mean what'd he do to you

to make you got to want to kill him?

- He is the worst husband ever.

He's broke, he works at
Target, he talks too much,

he's a cheater, he's a
womanizer, he's a thief, he's.

- [Toddrick] God damn, who
you married to Ike Turner?

- So I need to get rid of him.

- [Toddrick] Okay, well
I can help you with that.

- Oh, that bitch.

Well She ain't getting
her toes lick no more.

You know what, that's okay.

I'm gunna wipe my ass on her toothbrush.

(rustling fabric)

Man I can't believe she did me like this.

Whatever happened to for
better or worse bitch.

- Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-hoo nigga.

Get over this shit, you sad.

- You know, you see the
signs, but you ignore them.

I was wondering why this
bitch didn't want to play

with my eggroll.

- Yup, well, that's all fine and dandy

and too late now because
you married the bitch.

(Jay laughs)

- What's so funny boy?

- [Jay] You mind if I get
comfortable, I just wanna.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Don't worry I ain't goin
nowhere, I aint goin nowhere.

So, you gunna wana to hear this.

- Spit it out nigga.

- Now, about this life insurance policy

that y'all can conjure up,

and fuckin' wish that out of the sky.

Listen, bro, is this really necessary?

I stopped paying for that life
insurance policy years ago.

- Yous a motherfuckin' liar.

- [Jay] Ain't nobody lying, bro.

- So you telling me,
you ain't worth nothin'.

Now look at this bullshit I done got into.

Kidnap the stinkn nigga,
got him in my car.

- With your dumb ass.

- [Toddrick] Aint no life insurance.

Get your ass back in the
damn trunk right now.

(Jay laughing)

- [Toddrick] So your saying
you're not worth anything.

- Not a God damn thing.

Zilch, zero, nothing.

- [Toddrick] All of this for the money.

And ain't none of it there. Shit.

- nothin', nada.

- [Jay] Yeah, with your dumb ass (laughs).

You lookin real stupid
right about now nigga.

And you ain't got no plan.

- Shut your mouth and
get in the trunk nigga.

- [Jay] Oh God damn nigga
you ain't gotta do all that,

come on.

- [Toddrick] We'll see about that.

- Yeah, we'll see about that

- [Toddrick] Get your monkey
ass in the God damn trunk.

(boot door slams)

- [Jay] You ain't got no money.

You ain't got no money.
You ain't got nobody.

You ain't got nobody (laughs).

(phone ringing)

- Hello?

- When's the last time you
checked your husband's policy?

- I don't know why?

- Because he's saying he doesn't have one.

- Wait, you talked to him.

- Just take the fuckin' policy. Damn.

- Okay, let me pull it up.

(computer clicking)

- Well its not there. Its not there.

It's saying it expired due to nonpayment.

- Shit.

- So the motherfucker didn't pay.

- What?

- Well.
- Just like that we fucked.

- I guess we can call his mother, plan B.

- Call his mama.

What his mama gonna do?

- She loves him the most
and would do anything.

- So his mama gunna me a million dollars.

- Well, more like a hundred K, easy.

- This is bullshit. This.

So this just turn into a
motherfuckin' ransom huh?

- [Sage Lee] Yeah.

- So I ain't gotta kill him?

- [Sage Lee] He's still
gotta go, he talks to muck.

- Well you said I could
do what I wanted to do.

So I figured I could just.

- Just call his mom.

- Go get off my phone then.

You called me, I called you good bye, bye.

Stupid bitch.

Oh fuck what I got myself into.

I supposed to kidnap and kill a nigga

because of some crazy Asian bitch.

I don't know how.

Oh yeah I do, she finer
than a motherfucka.

(hip hop music)

- I just want to be free.

- [Toddrick] Shut the hell up.

- Oh man, what's going on dog?

- Get you ass up.

- Don't kill me. Don't kill me dude.

Don't kill me.

- I'm not going to kill
you, you just got upgraded.

- Oh, for real.

(hip hop music)

Alright, man you ain't
gotta be so damn rough.

Now what's up?

- This is what I want.

You gunna call that food stamp warden,

big butt bitch of a mom of yours

to send me a $155,000 cash.

- No you didn't just
disrespect my mama like that.

- Yes I did.

- No you didn't just disrespect my, aye.

Put the gun down. Let's
talk like gentlemen.

- Get your ass.

- Oh, come on dog, so disrespectful.

- Funky breath ass niggas,
always wanna talk the longest.

Shut the hell up. Shoot
you and your mama nigga.

- Okay bro,

like you know my wife
isn't the smartest wonton

out of the bag, right?

- Well you ain't got to tell me that,

I've been talking to that retarded bitch.

- Okay, so what's up.
Can you let a brother go?

- No. We going to get
the money from your mama.

- My mom is on SSI. I
can't afford her meds.

I work at Target. I'm trying
to get the supervisor job.

- What kinda shit is this?

- Black people problems,
who the fuck is you?

Like is this, is this paint?

- Don't touch me.

- Okay. I should kick your ass.

I really should.

But I know where we can get a big payday.

As long as we split it, 50 50.

- We ain't partners.

If it's enough to split 50 50, then fine.

- It's enough. Now untie me.

Come on man, we partners now.

- I gotta make this run

and you lucky I gotta talk you with me.

- Partners, partners.

- I don't do partners shit.

- Partners don't treat
each other like this.

It's time to be more respectful.

- One partner got the gun.

- Okay? Remember we don't need
that no more, we're partners.

- Just get the fuck out the car.

- Okay.

- Nigga, don't leave my windows down.

What the fuck you doin.

- Aren't we in a white
neighborhood anyway?

- Man I really appreciate the drink.

- Yeah.

- The sent of your mouth
was just fuckin' me up.

- I mean your the one
that put me in the trunk

for like three days.

- It was three hours.

- Felt like a long time for me.

- Your breath so bad for three hours nigga

you need to stop eatin cheese.

- Nigga (mumbles)

(hip hop music)

- I know about you,
Quanita told me about you.

So you stop doing that, Okay.

You get this done and
then you might get some.

- Whatever she said about
me is a motherfuckin' lie.

- [Sage Lee] She didn't
say nothin' bad about you.

Yep, they comin for you.

- You try to set me up. Huh?

You work for Quanita?

- [Sage Lee] I don't work
for no God damn Quanita.

- Okay.

- That bitch works for me.

- Well Quanita said that I did
that shit that I didn't do,

she's a damn liar, okay.

Just know that, happened
one time, never again.

- [Sage Lee] What is it
that you're referring to is?

Cause I don't know what your talkin about.

- Look, she told me that
if I, I ate the booty,

but it wasn't my, it wasn't
my thing, she, she did it.

She put the booty on me.
Is that what she told you?

- [Sage Lee] That's nasty.

- Okay.

- [Sage Lee] Cause she didn't
tell me shit like that.

- Okay, well then.

- [Sage Lee] That's very
personal, T.M.I. T.M.I.

- Wow.

- (Sage Lee cackles)

(crickets chirping)

- You on opioids? Cause that's an opioid.

- (Sage Lee cackles)

(crickets chirping)

- Hello, security.

- This day keeps getting
better and better.

Now tell me your dumb ass
plan, cause I know it's dumb.

- My wife really don't love men, man

- This nigga, talkin
bout his fuckin' wife.

Come on, man, you gotta
get over this shit.

- Get over it. Nigga,
My world is shattered.

- Man, you coulda been dead.

- She hired you to kidnap
me and kill me and rob me.

Like the bitch is dumb.
I ain't got no money.

- We on to the next shit.

I got to know what you got
planned for me and my money.

- No more egg rolls, no more
chow mein, kung pow chicken.

Who's toes I'm gunna lick? Who?

- To be honest, I feel kind of bad.

This is my first kidnapping gig.

- Yeah, no shit. You're
stopping ass, every two and go.

I noticed.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- I bought my mama into this.

- She bought your mama into this.

I knew your mama had no God
damn money from looking at you.

I was like. This nigga work at Target.

- Man, she started
acting all like dis-real,

I don't know if she fuckin'
some uda nigga, or what, like.

- Maybe its you.

- Me?

- Yeah, you knida fuckin' annoying.

- Na, that can't be it.
Shoulda married a black girl.

- No, because then you would've been dead.

She woulda did it herself.

- But I guess all the murder
is signs of a gold digger,

two timing, fuckin' cold hearted bitch.

(hip hop music)

Couldn't see it.

(trumpet bleating)

- If he's at work, he's
flirting with some bitches,

customers, co-workers, whoever.

- You know who goes to Targets.

- They co, they co.

- The bottom of the barrel,
so you shouldn't even care.

They be some nasty bitches.

- No, Targets a nice store.
What the hell you talkin about.

- Okay well, I didn't say the store was,

I said who goes there.

- [Sage Lee] I go there.

- That's how I felt that you went there,

cause you didn't like that comment.

- [Sage Lee] No.

- Okay, it's cool.

- Did he, did you meet him.

- (Sage Lee cackles)

- You're on opioids?

You on some Xannies, some Prophylax,

some Zoloft, and Percocet, Percadime,

perk-it-ups, purple quarters.

- All of em.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I get it from my grandma, okay.

That's just how it is.

- Okay.

- We need to take all the
drugs so we can calm down.

Cause we around fucked up
motherfuckers, like you guys,

especially my husband.

- Ain't nothin', whatd you.

- I got married to him,

cause I thought he was going
to provide, be a provider.

You know what he turns out to be?

- Cause you met him at Target.

- A supplier, okay.

- Did you meet him at target?

- No.

- Where'd you meet him at?

- Man, I been broken since jail.

You see where the fuck I work at? Target.

Tryn' to get my supervisor position,

but these motherfuckers don't
want to promote a nigga.

- Damn, that's some cold shit man.

I was supposed to kill you to,

that would also be my first,
you know killing issues

I ever had to, I.

- You wouldn't have
that on your conscience.

- Na, I wasn't gonna do
it, I wasn't gonna do it.

I was gonna fuck you up bro.

And then make it look like you was dead.

- You could have tried,
I woulda beat your ass.

- I gotta gun.

- That's your only defense.

- Exactly. That's why I got it.

- Cause I got these
hands, I'm just saying.

- Look, you gotta come up with a way,

look, you in a fucked up position.

I'm in a fucked up,
more fucked up position.

- How you in a more fucked up position?

My wife wants me dead.

- You have no idea what
I need the money for.

You got plans to get the
money, all is forgiven.

We cool, you forgave me already,

sorry for puttin a gun in your face.

- I'm not forgiving you.

- Okay, you ain't got to forgive me,

but you will tell me
where to get this money.

- I know that bitch
got it, life insurance,

we should kill her.

- [Toddrick] Now you sound
just like you're dumb ass.

- At the gas station.

- That's even worse.

- Oh, he told me he had.
- Did he have a cup or a car?

Cup or a car?

- A what?
- "Can I have some change?"

Or did he have a car?

- I actually don't know if
he did at the time or not

because it was moving pretty fast.

- Can we speed some shit
up then, cause you know.

- I'm not dating you right now okay.

- I don't want to date.

- You called your wife,

and the bitch didn't answer the phone

because she was hoping you was dead.

That's what happened, man?

- Man fuck that bitch.

- Now listen.

- And your dumb plan.

- Your dumb ass hair style, okay.

- You really gonna go there.
- Don't say shit about this.

- You can't go there with your shit.

I aint seen that since the seventies boy.

What you talkin about? You at a aye.

(hip hop music)

(crying)

- Alright, we gotta, we gotta leave.

(hip hop music)

- Get your ass up off me.

(hip hop music)

I been call this bitch and
she aint pickin' up the phone.

- Cop, cop, cop, cop.

- [Jay] Cop?

- [Toddrick] Yeah, cops, cops, cops.

- Why are you tripping nigga, you a cop.

Go talk to your buddy, shit.

I'm pretty sure y'all going to
get some donuts or something.

Bring me back a chocolate glaze,
and the one with sprinkles.

- Wow, wow, wow, all the
shit you been through,

and you still think I'm a fuckin' cop?

Are you stupid?

Shut up and be cool, be
cool, be cool, be cool nigga,

be cool, be cool.

- I'm good.

(suspenseful music)

- How we doing officer?

- Oh, I'm fine, what you
guys got going on here?

A little engine trouble.

- No we chillin, man,
about to roll up some weed,

kick back, talk about
these hoes, money, clothes.

- Sir, I was talkin to him.

- We're good officer just
taking a break from driving.

That's it.

- Sir, what is your badge number?

You tell me you badge number please.

- Here's my badge number right here, sir.

Now, if I just get that
license real quick,

you're on your way.

- [Jay] All right, Miller.

- That's right.

- Alright.

- I'll be right back.

- [Toddrick] Please.

(suspenseful music)

- [Toddrick] Damn it, we
fuck, fuckin' going to jail.

We're going to jail.

- Nigga can calm down. Give me a gun.

- My gun.

- Your gun, give it to me.

- Alright, the motherfuckers fake to.

Fake badge, fake gun, same shit,

bout em at the same party store.

- For real, this whole fuckin' time?

- What you gunna do?

- Some gangster shit. Your
ass never gunna learn.

- Oh shit.

- Freeze. Get your ass on the ground.

Yeah, I wana see pavement.

(suspenseful music)

Give me this.

- Wow, wow, wow, what
the hell are you doin?

Wow, wow, wow, wait, no, no, no, no.

- Nah, what you mean?
He's a fake fuckin' cop.

He got the same badge as you bro.

Yeah, I be peeping shit.

- Okay. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

- Bitch.

- The badge is fake, but I'm a real cop.

Don't do nothin' stupid now.

- Nah. Fuck.

Get your ass on.

- Get them cuffs on him.

- A'right, a'right (laughing),
you though you had me.

- If you a real cop, why
you got a fake badge?

- Well I keep the fake one
for smart asses like him.

Like to ask questions,
report wrong doings.

- Shit, he might be a real cop man.

- I don't give a fuck.

Let's just shoot him

- Cop or not, we're not
gunna fuckin' shoot nobody.

- Yeah, listen to your buddy.

- Okay. Let's kick his
ass for being dirty.

- We should kick his ass for being dirty.

- Hey look, if you let me go, I promise

I won't say anything.

- Trunk.
- Trunk.

Get your ass in the trunk.

- Get him in.

- To damn big for the trunk.

Plus I don't want to
him sweatin back there.

Lets put him back seat.

I'm sorry I had to put you
in the trunk, but this.

- Why he get the back seat
and he the God damn trunk?

See that's racism bro. The
white boy get privilege.

- Just get in the fuckin' car.

- Damn.

We just kidnapped a cop,
we done jacked his gun

and everything, we about
to be on Special Edition.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

One we don't even know
if he's a cop or not.

Two, none of that shit
you talking about is cool.

- Oh, it was cool when
you was doing it to me.

- What that's fuckin'g different.

I got hired to kidnap somebody.

We just fuckin' ridin kidnapping
white people that's police.

- That's a dirty ass cop.
We need to rob his ass.

- Had my whole fuckin' day fucked up.

I ain't got no honey, no money,
no ass, no crack, nothin'.

Just a fucked up day.
Trying to kidnap and idot.

- God damn, I feel like
we on Slim and Queen

or some shit like that.

- Na, na, na, na, ain't
no Queen and Slim shit.

It's more like king and
then slim ass nigga.

And did you see the movie?

Both of them motherfucker died.

And which one of us is the girl?

- I'm the bitch.

- Yeah, you goin be the bitch.

- No, because the nigga
was acting like a bitch

the whole movie. So I
got balls, You don't.

- Just shut the fuck up.

We gotta figure out what to do
with this God damn white boy.

Just get in the car.

- Fuck.

(fast rock music)

- Look I gotta meet up with my homie.

He had something on his plate

before I got the call from your wife.

(fast rock music)

Okay, Tank's goin help
me. He's gotta help me.

Unwillingly, but he always helps.

See this is my homie from
way, way back in the day.

You know what they say?

You can't find a black
person to give you nothin',

but you can always get something from em.

I'm at that stage in my
life, here we go Tank.

- Oh, man, I don't know if
it's good to see you up,

its kinds late.

- I know it's kinda late,
but I'm gonna need your help.

I've been having a crazy motherfuckin' day

and I just figured

you my man, and you can help me out.

- It depends on what type
of help you lookin for man.

- What it is, is I fucked
around and I kidnapped a nigger.

I got him in the car. I got a white cop.

- [Tank] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- In the back of I'm
stressed the fuck out.

- [Tank] Hold on, hold on, hold on.

- I need.

I need help Tank.

Atleast let me in to use the bathroom.

Can I use your bathroom?

- Ain't you gunna be shittin in my house.

- [Toddrick] Look, I ain't,
who said I got take a shit.

- Dude, if you had to pee
you'd be in the bushes.

If you gunna go in on here, dude.

Just hurry up, and spray

and do whatever you going to do, man.

But just hurry up.

Try not to talk to my mama.

If she started talking to
you just don't say nothin'.

(hip hop music)

- Which way to the bathroom?

- The only other door in the building man.

Just make it fast. You
know what I told you.

- How you doing, she mama?

Damn, your mama got a lot
a ass, a lota ass Tank.

A lot a ass. Now I gotta shit,
I gotta shit, I gotta shit.

(hip hop music)

- [Sage Lee] Sagie here, I'm unavailable,

leave me a message.

- Look baby, I know you
tried to kill my ass,

but we can work this out. I
need, call me back, alright.

- [Sage Lee] Sagie here, I'm unavailable,

leave me a message.

- Look baby I miss you, okay.

Ain't nobody goin make my woton like you?

Come on now.

Just let's let's let's try
to work this out, alright.

For better or worse, baby. Come on.

Hit me back.

I'm a try her one more time.

- [Sage Lee] Sagie here, I'm unavailable,

leave me a message.

- Baby its me again, I wish
you would pick up the phone

so we can talk about this,
like we got married girl,

like we're one.

Call me back.

Okay. I'm a try one more time.

- [Sage Lee] Sagie here, I'm unavailable,

leave me a message.

- Look baby, we've been through so much,

fuck, you remember when.

Look just call me back so
we can work this out girl,

like, come on now, I love you.

I know you tried to kill my ass,

but I'm willing to let bygones be bygones.

Call me back.

- (laughing) Hey boy,

I don't think she wanted
to talk to you, man.

- Man, shut the fuck up.
Ain't nobody ask you.

If I wanted fake information,

I would've asked you what the trade market

gona look like today.

Baby, come on now.

- [Sage Lee] Sagie here, I'm unavailable,

leave me a message.

- Hit me up baby, like,
you know I can't take this.

you know you my one. Fuck.

- Oh, there you go, that's the one,

she's gotta call you back now (laughs).

(hip hop music)

- So what are you doing
now? What's the plan.

What you gunna do now, what?

- We get to the house.

We get the money and we
get the hell out a there.

- You know my mama's over there right.

You know she can hear
everything you sayin right.

- You mama fine a motherfucker to man.

I just, I thought I'd put that out there.

I wasn't gunna say nothin'
about your mama but

she got a lot of ass.

And a that's not, I didn't
come over to see you mama.

I mean, if she up, we can a, na, that's.

Apparently you stopped selling drugs

because you still live with your mama.

- Oh mama I don't sell drugs.

- Cause I figured one
of y'all would move out.

You be livin in a one
bedroom wit your mama.

Where you sleep at?

(hip hop music)

Have you ever heard of layin low?

- No, nigga I'm not layin low.

- Cause this is low as it get.

Cause you in here wit your
mama. That's some low shit.

You can't even have bitches over here.

My ma find this bitch.

Y'all need to put some windows
in that bathroom though.

Cause I think your mama went before me.

Cause it was smelln pretty
bad already, that aint on me.

(groaning)

- Damn it, left my keys in the car.

(metal clinking)

Damn, child proof locks. Fuck.

(grunting) These fuckin'g
idiots. Oh my God.

Fuck my life.

(dramatic music)

(groaning)

(hip hop music)

(playful orchestral music)

(car door clicking)

- What the hell are you doing?

- (coughing) God damn, did
you just karate chop me?

- I know, you're not fuckin' sleeping

while the mother sitting in the back seat.

You got all the windows
open. He coulda escape.

- Fuck, dog. Look, look let's
just take him to the hotel.

- Hotel. We got a hotel booked somewhere?

We have no money.

- [Jay] You are the brokest nigga I know.

- [Toddrick] And I robbed
the brokest nigga I met.

- [Jay] That's crazy.

- Hey guys. I got a suggestion.

Why don't you take me to my house?

- Why in the fuck would we do that?

- You have money problems, right?

I got money, cash at my house.

- [Jay] How much are we
talking about, white boy?

- $250,000.

- 250,000.
- $250,000.

(gasps) Nigga we back up,
baby we back up baby, I mean.

- [Jay] Now why the fuck would he have

that much amount of money?

- [Toddrick] Cause he's not a fuckin' cop.

- [Jay] Nigga, you said he was
a cop, now you flip-floppin.

- [Toddrick] That's before
I knew he had some money.

250,000 is way too much for you.

What'd you doing with that kind of shit?

- Hey look, you want to ask questions.

You want to take me to my
house and get the money?

Let me go, call it a day, what do you say.

- [Toddrick] Man, I don't trust him.

I can't, I don't think we can trust him.

- Man, I barely trust your ass.

Look at the situation we got ourself in,

fuck you talkin about.

- [Toddrick] True, true.
Where are you live at?

- Oh, it's not far.
Just up the road a bit.

- [Toddrick] Okay, let's
go get some money nigga.

(car warning bell)

- [Jay] It better be all hundreds, cash.

I don't want to see no plastic.

And I hope you got some food
up in there, cause I'm hungry.

Nigga, I'm about to make
me a big ass sandwich.

- We gunna need some gas to,
cause, I can't bring this back,

it's a rental.

Okay. Here's what we're going to do.

I'm go in with him. I'm
gonna get the money.

And then we out get out. We get out.

- Wow, why can't we go in together?

- What you mean, why
can't we go in together?

- I mean.

- You want be the guy to go in there

with the creepy white man,

then go for it, be my guest.

- Hey, so why can't I go in?

I'm just sayin, I mean,

it makes more sense that we both go in.

(dramatic music)

(fabric rustling)

- Hey look man, when we get in
there don't do no funny shit.

- Alright guys, the safes in
my room, just down the hall.

- Man, maybe I should
just hang back. You know.

- Just in case this
motherfucker tries somethin.

- Oh, you scared now, ha.

- Ain't nobody scared.

But I'm just thinking,
bro, like, you know,

just in case he try anything,
I can call for help.

- Call for help.

Nigga we in the middle
of committin' a crime.

How the hell, who you gunna call for help?

- I was thinking the police,

but maybe that's not a bad, a good idea.

- This is how people end up on
the world's dumbest criminal.

- I ain't no God damn criminal.

- You just got out of jail nigga.

- So you just bring up old shit.

- Look, open it up.
Just open the damn door.

(key clinking)

- Get in there.

(dramatic music)

Man, why you have to put my
business all on front street

in front of this white ass cop.

- He aint no God damn cop, remember.

- But he know other cops.

Friends that are white and
he probably gonna tell em.

- Hey guys, I'm not a
cop and I don't know any.

Now, can we just get this over with?

- Yeah, let's get this over with.

You stay here, you hear anything
funny, your scream okay,

so I can get the hell out.

Anything. You scream.

- Okay, okay, alright.

Now if he take yo gun and whoop yo ass,

you scream, so I can run.

- (laughing) Funny. Let's
get you the money white boy.

Come on move.

- White you got some food
in your refrigerator?

I know you do.

- Oh, you got a nice ass crib.

Smell like jungle fever in here.

You been fuckin' on black bitches?

Is that what you up to?

- Yeah.
- I bet.

Show me where this God damn room is.

- Oh, it's right here.

- I got, I got you, fuck around.

- There you go.

Now it's time for some fun (laughs).

(loud clanging)

- [Toddrick] Hello, that nigga
actually pushed me in here.

You know what, it's okay if
you fuck on black bitches,

I don't even care. Help.

Help!

- Okay, okay, okay this
shits be taken to long man.

- [Toddrick] Help nigga, help.

- Oh fuck. Wait a minute.

This is a fake gun. Where's the real gun?

Oh shit.

Okay, ahh, fuck.

Yo that you?

- [Toddrick] Yeah its me. Is that you?

- Who else would it fucken be nigga?

- [Toddrick] I dunno the
motherfucker who pushed me in here.

- [Jay] How the fuck you get in there dog?

- [Toddrick] I just said he
pushed me, you know what,

just unlock the door.

- I can't bro. You
unlock the God damn door?

- [Toddrick] If I could
unlock the God damn door

I'd be out already, it's
locked from the outside idiot.

- Why the fuck you tell
me to open it then?

- You know what, just use your brain

and your fuckin' foot
and kick the door open.

Wait, let me get out of the way.

(loud bang)

- [Jay] Nigga, he just
turned off the lights.

- Do you feel anything? Is
he out there raping on you?

- [Jay] No, what the fuck.

- Give it a minute, cause once
he started fuckin' on you,

I'm just gona run.

- [Jay] You can't run
nowhere nigga, you locked in.

- Just (shushing) be
quiet, now this white guy,

he gonna do some weird shit,
just open the door for me.

(door rattling)

- Nigga, where'd you
get the flashlight from?

- Oh it came with the fake badge.

- We need to get the fuck out of here.

- What about the $250,000 man.

- Are you out of your
mind? That imaginary money.

He just said that to lure us in here.

- What you mean lure?

- Meaning he wanted to kill us or hump us.

I see it all the time on the fuckin' news.

Why do you think I wanted
to go by the fuckin' door?

Just face it, bro. We
both got lured in here.

- Stop using the fuckin' word lure.

- Make me feel like some retarded ass kid

has got in somebodies van
for some fuckin' candy.

Look, I ain't gonna get botty touch,

I ain't sucking no dicks.

Now you shut the fuck up
and let's find this money.

- Alright nigga, come on.

- Shit.
- Shit.

- Man did you hear that?

- [Miller] Come out and play.

- What the fuck your the one with the gun.

- Nigga, it's fake.

- He don't know that.

- [Miller] I know that gun is fake.

Came with a fake badge, right? (laughing)

- How I supposed to know the motherfucker

shop at the same store I shop at.

- [Jay] I got an idea.

- Come on, I'm not going to hurt ya.

Just wana play.

- We got lured here.

- We'll you got any fuckin' better ideas?

- Where two black dudes in
a white man fuckin' place,

we gonna go to fuckin' jail.

It's time to man up.
What is that, a spatula?

You got a fake gun, let's whoop his ass.

- Fuck it.

- Come out and play.

- Lets do it.

- I'm not gunna hurt
you, I just wana play.

- Fuck nigga, na nigga.

- (shushing) Shut up, shut up.

He just wants to play.

So you go over there for
like five minutes. Okay.

- Are you for real, are you for real?

- I'm just saying somebody gotta.

- You kidnapped me, fuckin'.

You got my mom involved in this. My wife.

I just wanted to watch Dragon Ball Z,

after I got off work.

- Okay. Officer where gunna come out.

- Na, no, no.

- But you not gonna play with out butts

or nothin' like that are you?

- [Miller] Yes I am.

- Oh, fuck.

- (sobbing loudly) I hate
you, I hate you, I hate you.

- (Miller laughing)

- You can do this.

- You a super cold nigga you know that.

- He's a white guy, it's not gonna hurt.

- [Jay] I don't wana.

- Alright, all right, here's the plan.

I'm gunna go out and stall.

- Okay.

- When I do that, you come out of nowhere.

knock this nigger out, alright.

- That's your plan, you ain't
came up with nothin' good,

but this, this might work.

You go get distraction.

- [Miller] Ready or not hear I come.

- Hurry the fuck up to.
Hurry up he's getting closer.

- All right, all right, all right.

- Go.

- (grunts) Be a man.

- Yeah.

- Be a man.
- Be a God damn man

You got this.

- Ooh, ooh.
- Ooh, ooh.

(grunting)

- [Jay] Alright white
boy, it's you and me.

(screaming)

(skin slapping)

(dramatic music)

- Don't you fuckin' move.

Don't you fuckin' move.

(dramatic music)

- Nigga, where the gun come from?

- I dropped it in the car,
but I forgot I had it on me

because I had to take a shit.

(suspenseful music)

(laughing)

- Nigga shoot him.

(gun fires)

- Fake gun ha, fake gun
you idiot (laughing).

That hurt owe.

(dramatic music)

(grunting)

- [Toddrick] Yeah, fake this (panting).

- Oh damn.

Oh ooh.

(grunting)

- God damn.

Man take it easy.

- Yeah, that moment I
beat that fake cops ass.

That new powder, shit.

All I kept thinkin is bout how
I was gonna Quanitas fuckin',

baby daddy, boyfriend Tyrones
ass, when I see that nigga.

Lets get the fuck out here.

- Alright nigga, come on, shit.

- Hey fuck you.

- [Jay] You got the weed?

- Who knew things could
get so bad in 24 hours.

I went from good boy to bad boy.

But hey, I made it through.

Sometimes you just got
to go through the fire,

see what didn't burn down
in the motherfuckin' house.

And take it to the pawn
shop, so you can rebuild.

Get your money right? And keep it right.

Tighter than a frog, bully baby.

Teddy motherfuckin' Todd, back on top.

(laughing)

(drum music)

- You gonna call your fat butt mama

and tell that bitch to
send me a hundred grand.

- Man, my mama on insulin,
I pay for her to play.

What's my line? Shit.

- You're mama on insulin.

(laughing)

- [Sage Lee] So now your hustlin my mom?

Or your fuckin' mom.
- So now your hustlin my mama?

- And I know you got gout nigga,

cause the bitch been talkin about you.

Yous a no good loser ass nigga.

Stop drinking and get a real fuckin' job.

- God damn trunk

(loud bang)

- Oh shit.

- [Sage Lee] Cut. What are you guys?

- (laughs) I don't know.

- [Sage Lee] To much improvisation.

- I know, that's how it went.

- No, you don't get on the ground Mat.

- No you not suppose to?

- No, cause you.

- Excuse me.

- Excuse me.

- I don't have time for this today.

Whatever the fuck you sellin.

Oh you suppose to have your stick.

(laughs)

- I know you got them gift cards,

cause I know you fuckin' old black people.

(Actors laughing)

- [Camera Man] And I was good.

- [Jay] That was good, alright.

(crying)

- Oh no, nigga, no, no.

- I know you want to leave me, but bitch

you won't let me go.

- You need to get your shit together.

We're at the beach, and you're
cryin about your old bitch

that wana kill you.

There's ass out there,
I mean ass, out there.

You just gotta wana go.

- I can't continue.

- You continued at the Target parking lot.

Fat bitches, retarded bitches, I saw you.

- That was a bad bitch though,
cause that was thick as hell,

I mean it went like this
and then it went like that.

- Focus, focus.

- You can put a cup on that motherfucker.

- If you cry one more
time about this bitch.

- I'm trying to recover. I'm
just trying to try to recover.

Can I recover?

- [Toddrick] Did you get Covid tested?

You up in her scratchin,
scaring the fuck out of me.

(Sage Lee laughing)

- [Toddrick] Huh?

Is that the first vaccine

or second vaccine shot you rubbing off.

- [Sage Lee] You're not
supposed to just let him pound

you the entire time.

You're supposed to get some lines in.

- Yeah, I'm about to.
- God damn.

- Yeah, I'm just sayin, I mean you know,

I'm a be all up in that bitch.

Hey look, yes I got the list.

I got everything on your list. Everything.

Alright, I'll see you in a few.

You know I'm a be all
up in that thang girl,

all up in there.

(crowd clapping)

- Black nigga on stage, what's up y'all?

Yep, that's me Toddrick Franks.

After my funny experience,
I realized that, hey,

I am a good boy for life, but on stage,

I got to make this $50 a night.

So you motherfuckers

get involved in my standup comedy.

Cause I took my lifes joke

and trying to get paid off of it.

Oh yeah, Teddy Todd baby.
I'm on my way to the top.

If you don't think that
it's ain't going to be fire.

Wait, to you see part two?

Oh, woo, woo, oh, woo, woo.

Damn, there's a lot of
motherfuckers out here.

Anybody else got scared from the fire?

Nigger, I was nervous as
shit when I got the message

that said you're working tonight.

I said "Where?"

They said fuckin' "Backyard
barbecue, Compton."

(crowd laughing)

Nigga I got issues out there I don't wana,

man fuckin' Compton.

I sent out a text
message to all my people,

said "Y'all need to come support."

Y'all should have read
the replies and shit.

They said, "Nigga, you tryn' to set me up?

Nigga, I told you I was
gonna get your $20 back.

Get your money back
nigga, I don't wana die."

(crowd laughing)

That's bullshit, we in Compton nigga.

But I didn't know Compton
had, enough room like this.

What, who's house is this?

Shit, this must be when
redline is startin.

It's like you niggas are over there.

Crackers over here.

(crowd laughing)

Got one of these cracker
properties, I love it, shit.

I know yous all pulled up
ands like "Where we at?"

You seen all the weed growin in the front.

Came to the back, this bitch
is dead than a motherfucker.

What kinda fuckin' lawn
guy you got (laughs)?

The nigga done put the
fake dead grass back in,

let you know they been tryin.

What the fuck are y'all doin.

But the real reason why
I got nervous and shit

cause I don't like goin to peoples houses.

That's not my thing. I don't, fuck it.

Cause y'all got to many house
rules, you know what I mean?

It's not like the club and shit,

just don't wear your hat nigga.

It's different, you come
to somebody's house,

its like "Aah, take of your shoes buddy."

(crowd laughing)

What the fuck is wrong wit
you? You know my feet stink.

Niggas don't wear socks unless
we got on the flip flops.

(crowd laughing)

Some weird shit going on.

I went to this one white lady's house,

the bitch took my jacket, I was nervous.

"Bitch took my jacket, my weeds in there."

What the fuck is wrong with you bitch?

It took me 40 minutes to
find the hoe and my jacket.

- [Lady] We're gonna need you done.

- God damn, need to sit my drink down,

cause the ice done melted.

Shoulda gave me 30 minutes nigga,

I got 30 minutes and five
minutes jokes for you niggas

right quick.

But any way, na, I seen
you all in this bitch,

and she got a Rottweiler.

Y'all seen the Rottweiler?

I thought it was a white person dog

because the tail wasn't cut.

(crowd laughing)

You ain't train this nigga to do shit.

(crowd laughing)

God damn lickin his own
ass, nigga you got to fight.

Live out in Compton
niggas, this a Compton dog.

Yo fuckin' up your dog with your jump.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

No, but I went to my white friend's house

and I broke one of the
fuckin' house rules.

I hate the house rule shit. I didn't know.

I said fuck it. You know what I mean?

I put on socks just in case.

So I jumped out the shit

and the nigga dog was following me around

the whole fuckin' times.

I said,

"This dog is followin a nigga
around, this is bullshit."

I didn't know he was hungry.

So I gave that nigga some chicken.

Here you go motherfucker,
he tore that shit down.

(lips smacking)

(dog growling)

He swallowed that shit and started going

(chocking) "Help."

I said, "Bitch. This nigga
dog to ask for help."

I said, "You gotta get
the away from me nigga,

don't blame this shit on me."

White dude came down
the stairs mad as fuck,

"Oh my God. Did you fuckin' feed him?"

I said "I didn't feed him,

I might've dropped some
chicken on the ground

and the nigga ate it."

He said "He can't eat human."

I said "I said chicken
bitch, no human in the.

What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He said "He can't eat
what we eat. Fucker."

When white people call you
fucker, you crossed a line.

There's almost no going back.

I said these niggas got my shoes.

(crowd laughs)

They said, "Do you understand
this dog has fuckin' diabetes?

Level three, M.H. I don't
know what the fuck that is.

But he had it. He's go corona."

I said, "Well God Damn,
how'd he get all this shit?"

He said "He had it when we got him."

(crowd laughing)

Now only white people do shit like that.

They wana rescue the dying motherfuckers.

Come on now, this niggas
on medicated food.

How the fuck was I supposed to know?