All language subtitles for The.Love.Boat.S03E25.Invisible.Maniac

[Music playing]

Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's
sweetest reward.

Let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
you're mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile,
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

Has Janet Reeves boarded yet?

Janet Reeves, the model?

You know her?

Yeah.

Well, when she checks
in, we'll tell her--

oh, no, no, no, no, no.

That was way back,
in the first grade.

She probably doesn't
even remember.

And now, she's
married and famous.

Oh, good.

Well, for a moment, I
just thought you were shy.

Hey, don't say anything, ok?

Well, hello.

Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. Reeves.

Yes, welcome aboard.

Gee.

We're all real
big fans of yours.

Thank you.

Let's see.

You're on the promenade
deck, cabin 104.

It's up those stairs
and to the left.

Thank you.

Enjoy your cruise.

Isaac, you're doing
the right thing.

Whenever there's an athletic
husband around, always be shy.

I hate burials at sea.

They're so, well, splashy.

You ever feel like
Noah on the ark,

watching all the animals
come on board two by two?

Well, they're
not all two by two.

Now, there's a
very definite one.

Obviously, aboard only
for rest, not romance.

Your basic, mature,
no nonsense glacier.

Well, don't look now, doc,
but it looks like your glacier

is headed for a meltdown.

Mr. and Mrs.
piermont, you can reach

the aloha deck by going through
those doors and up two decks.

How's it going?

Good.

Excuse me.

Yes?

What time does this
ship get to deep water?

Well, we should be clear of
the harbor in about an hour.

I mean, real, real deep.

About 8:30.

Thank you.

I'll keep my eye on
the situation, sir.

Why do you suppose
she wants to know

when we get to deep water?

Well, maybe she's just
interested in navigation.

Sounds more to me
like she's planning

to take the old El divo.

They are not going to be
any loud, raucous parties

near our cabin are there?

Oh, no, ma'am.

Good.

Agnes.

See if you can arrange some.

Whoa.

This sure beats motels and
running around trying to find

out of the way restaurants.

Well, that's the price you
pay for not wanting to be seen.

Well, that's your
problem, not mine.

I'd be proud to be
seen with you anywhere.

Not too practical, counselor.

I do not think that the
grand old law firm of Burton

and boroughs would
be thrilled to know

that two of its attorneys
were sharing a room.

Kathy, values have
changed, you know?

Maybe it's time we
came out of the closet

and faced the whole world
and the grand old company?

Besides, they keep
saying they want

their employees to be happy.

Somehow, I think they'd
prefer if we just settled

for the Christmas bonus.

Consider me a fringe benefit.

I have to unpack.

No.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

Why bother?

I mean, the cruise is
only for five days.

There's no point in us
even leaving the room.

Well, I plan on
dining and dancing.

You don't need
clothes for that.

We can do all that right here.

You know, it's almost
our anniversary.

A year ago tomorrow
night we went

out for the very first time.

Was that a year ago?

Well, I remember
it distinctly.

I'd been with the firm for six
months and in love with you

for five.

Now, Tom, don't say that.

Well, it's true.

Now, look, when we
started this thing,

we agreed to keep
it light and simple.

Right.
Light.

Simple.

Yes.

No emotional involvement.

We were simply filling
a need for one another.

I was getting over my divorce.

Therapeutic, I remember.

Yes.

That's the deal.

And you agreed to stick to it.

Right.

Ok.

So long as that's
clearly understood.

Excuse me.

So I lied.

The ocean's very
pretty, isn't it?

Certainly is.

Oh, but don't
get fooled by it.

It looks all blue
and warm, but it's

really awful terrible cold.

You ok?

I mean, everybody's a little
rocky the first day, you know.

It will be different tomorrow.

I know it will.

Ta-dah.

Tell me what you think.

And don't be afraid
of overdoing it.

Great, jan.

I knew you'd overdo it.

I can't get the hockey game.

There's nothing on
this thing but music.

When you put out
to sea, you have

to live under brutal,
primitive conditions.

But the rangers
are playing Boston.

Oh, honey, they could do
without you, but I can't.

Just let me catch
this just one game.

Janet: But you can't.

There's only piped in music.

No radios.

I checked with the
ship before we booked.

I'm basically an evil person.

So am I. I brought
some back up.

But after the game,
we will do something.

I promise.

Now, back to you in the booth.

Hi, Mr. Piermont.

Where's the wife?

Oh, she went after
her pills, feeling

a little motion sickness.

I'm feeling a little
motion sickness myself.

You know, just no
modesty anymore.

Well, you know,
the girls around

here like to get a little tan.

A little tan?

Those girls are
gonna be tan where

they were never tan before.

Or

Agnes, I think it's
positively disgusting the things

girls wear today and
all to attract men.

Do you know those bathing
suits cost over $50 a piece?

What are you doing?

I'm checking to see if
I've got an extra $50.

Hold it.

I forgot the limes.

See you later, guys.

Say, Isaac.

What'd I forget now?

What do you think you forgot?

Forget it.

Well, I was just wondering
if you'd spoken to Janet Reeves

yet.

That is one gorgeous lady.

Well, have you?

Oh.

No.

I didn't want to bother her.

I'll bother her.

Excuse me, Mrs. Reeves.

Old classmate of yours over
there would like to say hello.

Someone here to see
you, if you're decent.

Hi.

You don't remember.

That's ok.

I used to sit behind you.

Then, you moved away.

Wait a minute.

Isaac-- Isaac Washington.

We were in Ms.
Riley's first grade.

How nice to see you.

It is.

I mean, you do, honest?

You remember me?

We were in a play together.

I was a ladybug.

Susie sunshine garden.

I was a dew drop.

No lines.

I just glistened a lot.

[Phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, yes.

She is.
Just a minute.

It's for you.

It's a Mr. Fisher
from Los Angeles.

Oh, my agent.

Thank you.

She remembered me.

She really did.

He topped me.

He brought his own radio.

So here I am cruising
to romantic Mexico

in a locker room.

He didn't used to be like this.

He was always so attentive, even
got furious when another man--

hey, that would do
it, another man.

And I think I found one.

Romantic reunion.

Ok.

I'll call you tomorrow.

And a dew drop.

Oh.

Well, it's good
to see you again.

Hope you enjoy your cruise.

I know I will now.

Gosh, you know, i--

I think we should
probably be doing

it up a little bit for dinner.

Well, maybe tomorrow.

Bill, you finish your coffee.

I've got to go to
the cabin for a wrap.

Be just a few minutes.

Hey, what's
everybody gonna think?

The truth, that I love you.

Oh, Mrs. Piermont,
how is everything going?

Fine.

Oh, good.

By the way, we're
in deep water now.

And if you'll notice, the boat
doesn't rock anymore, if that's

you were worried about.

It wasn't that.

Oh.

I've got to talk to somebody.

I think I'm losing my nerve.

You see, there's something
that I want to throw

overboard and never see again.

What?

Me.

As much as I hate
to admit it, you look

sensational, even in clothes.

I was gonna keep this til
our official anniversary

tomorrow night, but it makes
such an unsightly bulge

in my pocket.

Now, don't say light and simple.

The fact is, I want
you to be my wife.

Come on.

Let's do it.

I mean, what the hell?

We love each other.

Let's go find the captain
and ask him to marry us.

You are absolutely insane.

Let's be insane together.

Tom--

no, no.

Don't decide now first, we'll
have a wonderful dinner,

a few hundred gallons
of wine, so you

can think it over very, very
carefully before you say yes.

Mrs. Piermont, you weren't
really serious about throwing

yourself over--

oh, no.

It's just the old fay piermont
I want to toss overboard.

This polyester pant suit, these
sensible shoes, these glasses.

I got contact lenses.

And I brought all new clothes.

Starting tonight, there's
gonna be a whole new far

out, faysie piermont.

Wow.

Why?

What gave you the idea?

Well, bill and I
have been married quite

a while now, almost 20 years.

Of all our friends,
we're kind of unique.

We're the only couple that
hasn't gotten a divorce.

Most of them had
the same complaint,

life had become
dull and routine.

Oh, so you're just gonna
shake things up a little bit?

Exactly.

Good thinking.

Only now that the time's
come, I'm getting cold feet.

After 20 years, how
will a man react

when he finds suddenly
that he's married

to a-- a different woman?

Well, for what it's worth,
I think that the couples that

settled for the routine
life are the ones

that made the big mistake.

I say go for it.

Listen, I'll-- I'll join
you later, honey, if the game

doesn't go into over time.

Oh, don't worry, love.

I'm sure Isaac will look
after me at the party.

Isaac?

An old boyfriend I ran
into, Isaac Washington.

Wait a minute.

What is it?

Could he be any relation
to Claude Washington,

split end for the redskins?

No.

I don't think so.

[Knocking]

You're in luck.

Radio operator had an extra set.

- Thanks, gopher.
- You bet.

That's great.

Now, I won't disturb anyone.

Right.

Janet: Dear sweet
Isaac, he obviously

still has a crush on me.

[Inaudible]

Oh, and he has the
cutest little cabin.

He is one smooth operator.

The girls used to
call him the octopus.

Hands, hands, hands.

Gopher.

What?

Great.

Good.

Got to go.

Isaac?

The octopus?

Excuse me, lady.

Have you see a woman about
oh so tall, wearing glasses?

And a polyester pant
suit and sensible shoes?

Yeah.

She's gone.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Honey, it's me.

What do you think?

Better than your basic
house coat and curlers?

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

I never meant for
you to get worried.

I only wanted to toss the
old dull clothes and the

old dull fay out of our lives.

And I had to do it
like this all at once

or I would've lost my nerve.

You mean, you really
threw your clothes--

yeah.

I hate to pollute the
pacific with polyester,

but what the hell?

It's my way of announcing
that I'm resigning

from the fluff and fold set.

No more casseroles,
committees, or carpools.

I figure if I can get
a zigzag attachment

for my sewing machine,
why not get one for myself

and live it up a little?

Is this what you
call a midlife crisis?

Whatever.

Let's make this cruise the start
of a goofy, new, unboring life

for both of us.

What do you say, tiger?

Are you with me?

I guess we could
give it a try.

For openers,
this has got to go.

Huh?

What are you doing?

Fay.

Oh, for Pete's sake, that's
a new six dollar tie.

Tomorrow, we'll get
you some new outfits.

You are going to be
a whole new bill.

And you're gonna love him.

Your cabin or mine?

Well, it's getting late.

We could still
wake up the captain.

Why not?

He's probably a light sleeper.

Tom, you know, I had planned
on taking this trip alone.

And when you suggested
coming along, i--

I know I agreed, but maybe
it was being selfish.

Selfish?

Yes.

You see, if you hadn't come
and I had been here by myself

I might or might not
have met someone else.

With you here, I
have no hassles.

All of my needs are
filled, intellectually

and romantically.

But all I want to fill is
five days, not a lifetime.

Do you love me?

Tom, i-- you're not
letting me answer.

I'm trying to influence you.

I'm cute.

I'm bright.

And I'm a very good provider.

Three fellas for
the price of one.

And I come with a
lifetime guarantee.

Kathy, I know you love me.

Yes, very much.

Then, why don't we--

oh, Tom, please,
don't press it.

Let's just settle
for what we have.

Ok.

Counselor, I warn you.

I have the rest of the
cruise to state my case.

And this is one I won't lose.

Janet: Isaac, please.

Now, don't ruin everything.

This is-- just stop.

You're crushing me.

It's impossible!

My husband.

Let me go.

You're tearing my dress.

Isaac, control yourself.

What was that?

Well, obviously, there's a
man out there attacking women.

A man attacking?

Hey, Lakers are leading.

What happened to you?

Must be awful windy up on deck.

Did you have a good time?

Good morning.

Kathy, we have to talk.

Before coffee?

Why won't you marry me?

Before coffee.

Tom, how do I make
you understand?

I enjoy every
single minute that I

spend with you, totally, but--

but the cold hard truth is
I'm 10 years older than you.

All right.

So I'm 10 inches
taller than you.

Now, what difference
do differences make?

And what fun would
life be without any?

Now, the only
important thing here

is that we get along great.

That's absolutely true, in
this sort of relationship.

But for marriage, a
10 year difference--

but you don't even look
10 minutes older than I do.

As of now, thanks
to the old paint pots.

But it will begin to show
and more and more every day.

And I'll start to
worry about it--

Tom: Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

I got an idea.

I'll let myself run down.

No one will ever know
that you're older.

I'll know.

You know, for a modern woman,
you sure are a hypocrite.

I mean, you're
aggressive enough to have

an affair with a younger man,
be very modern and very logical

about the relationship.

But what it really
comes down to Kathy

is not what we feel
for each other,

but what other people think.

How am I doing?

Should I go and get the captain?

He's probably already awake.

We'll get the day rate.

Oh, Tom, I'm so confused.

Really, i-- I need
some time to think.

Well, that's better
than a rejection.

Look, I got to know where I am.

I'll give you the rest of the
trip to make up your mind.

But I want an answer Kathy
before we leave this boat.

All right.

All right.

And you won't pressure me?

No pressure.

We'll just relax and have fun.

Absolutely.

But there is one
thing I wanted to say.

I can't return this ring.

So if you don't yes,
I'm gonna be out of $11.

You got all this
stuff on board, huh?

Didn't know they had
a blacksmith shot.

You'll get used to it.

You look great.

Maybe.

I'm feeling like I should
be chained to a oar.

Come on.

Let's get a drink.

Isaac, that's the couple
I was telling you about.

Ah.

May I help you?

Yeah.

Couple of beers.

No beers?

D-u-l-l. Don't bother
to pour the beer.

Just throw them over the rail.

Right.

You want to buy a
round for the fish.

Not all the fish.

No, just the one wearing my six
dollar tie and your pant suit.

We geriatric
delinquents would like

to have a scorpion, a beguiling
tropical ambrosia made up

of five different rums,
served in coconut shells

with floating gardenias.

That ought to make a
pretty good eye opener.

Yeah, it better open your eyes
or it'll blow your ears off.

You know, I think
with this new lifestyle,

I'm gonna need a new liver.

You don't have to
go completely crazy.

I just want us to try feeling
different about things, inside

listen with five
different rums,

we're gonna feel
different inside.

That's right.

Now, just keep your hips loose.

Very good.

Let's take a break.

This sure beats bingo.

Oh, yeah.

Level with me, fay, you're not
doing this for the insurance,

are you?

I feel absolutely wonderful.

Kathy, I could keep you this
way the rest of your life.

Kathy, we are a perfect pair.

Tom, you promised.

I was just--

I was just doing a
little commercial.

An attacker?

Oh, yes.

Yes.

It happened right outside
my door, in the corridor.

Promenade 105.

Can you describe the man?

Oh, no.

No.

I didn't have my glasses on.

But I can tell you,
captain, he was big.

Are you certain?

They're are always big.

Well, I assure you,
it won't happen again.

Stop everything.

Get security on
this immediately.

Yes, sir.

Oh, and to think, I bought
all new clothes for my trip,

in the hopes of finding
a nice gentleman.

And what do I find
outside my door?

Jack the ripper.

Poor, Janet.

I'd like to get my
hands on this guy.

I could be his next victim.

Or me.

Ladies, I need
some description.

Well, I told you.

I did not have my glasses on.

But I did hear his name.

His name?

What is it?

What's his name?

His name is Isaac.

Isaac?

Yes, Isaac.

It wasn't me.

I want to believe you.

But I heard Janet
call you an octopus.

All hands.

Now, we have a witness.

Hold it.

Just stay away from her, til
I try to figure something out.

This could be a big problem.

You're telling me.

Oh.

Ok.

Ok.

Looks like you got a
case of disco disk.

An ice pack.

Yeah.

Easy.

Ok.

Try and slow down a little, ok?

That's hard to do
when you got a wife

who's trying to get in the
guinness book of records.

Let me ask you something, doc.

Sure.

Can two people
who've been married

for two, three centuries change
their lifestyle overnight?

Well, strange things
happen on cruises.

I'll have them put
that on my stone.

I've seen lots of humdrum
relationships heat up again.

And that's not only for the
woman, but for the man too.

Maybe you've heard the saying,
salt air improves virility.

That's an old wives tale.

Yeah, well, they
ought to know.

Doc, you got a minute?

What?

Is there any chance
I might be a werewolf?

I'll see you, doc.

Bye.

What about it?

Could be a Dr.
Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

On moonlit nights, do
I stop in the middle

of mixing Shirley temples and
become the midnight mauler?

Isaac, that's not very likely.

But it is possible.

You've seen how
forgetful I've become.

Maybe I have split in two.

After all, only a
shadowy threshold defines

actuality from phantasmagoria.

I read that in reader's digest.

Isaac, I refuse to
believe you have any kind

of a problem like this.

But there was a witness.

Now, a part of me was
sacked out in my cabin.

Another part of me was
up in the passageway,

chewing on Janet Reeves' ear.

And the worst part of
it is, from what I hear,

I was making out
great, but I don't even

remember enough to enjoy it.

I still don't think you
have any kind of a problem.

Now, wait a minute.

Did this ever happen before?

No.

Well--

but she might
be a special case.

Maybe I'm subconsciously
acting out my fantasies.

You know, I've been
crazy about that Janet

ever since I was seven years
old, when I was a dew drop.

You were a dew drop?

Isaac, sit down.

Maybe you do have a problem.

How long have you considered
yourself a dew drop?

That was a part I
had in a school play.

She was a ladybug.

Oh, then, you have no problem.

Of course, if you considered
yourself a ladybug,

then we might be--

doc, I'm going bananas.

Now, if the captain ever finds--

all-- all right.

Relax.

Now, there's got to
be an explanation.

I'll speak to the
ladybug's husband.

Well, I'm ready.

Like the dress?

Like it?

Well, don't you think that
thing's just a little drafty?

All part of the big idea to
be daring and live a little.

I figure you'll live a
little in that thing all right.

I give you 10 minutes,
then you catch pneumonia.

Honey, come on.

Bill, this is our last night.

I want to have fun.

Well, can't you have fun
and keep your shirt on?

Bill, don't spoil things.

You've been
understanding so far.

Well, listen, sweetheart,
just-- just slip this thing

right over your shoulders.

Bill--

at least until you get more
hospitalisation coverage, ok?

No.

I want to prove
to myself that i'm

truly free of
conventional restrictions.

Don't you see?

Wearing this is very important.

How can anything that
flimsy be important?

I mean, it just
doesn't add up, honey.

Goosebumps and gray hair.

My hair is not gray.

Sweetheart, in
your heart, you know,

that under those lovely
blond strands are gray roots.

Now, what's wrong with gray?

I mean, that's the color you
picked to paint the porch.

Bill, I'm disappointed in you.

I guess you don't understand.

Well, no matter.

I am going to the
bar and get a drink.

And then, I am going
out to dance, like this.

Are you sure she staged all of
that just to get my attention?

It's the only logical answer.

Wow.

I've been a real big
dumb jock, spending

all my time at that radio.

Poor kid, having to go
through all of that, just--

oh, I feel like such a hell.

Well, you still have
time to make up for it.

I'll explain things
to the captain.

Thanks, doc.

That's awful nice of you.

Isaac, you know, I'm going
cold Turkey on the sports kick.

That beautiful lady of mine
is gonna get my apology

and 100% of my attention.

Hey, way to go.

Yeah.

In fact, she's entitled
to even more than that.

I mean, she wanted me
to be jealous, right?

Well, she can have that
too, if you're game.

Yeah.

See, she knows i'm
at the gym, right?

Right.

Well, dig this.

Ok.

Care to order a little snack?

N-o.

Bill, bill.

See you in about 20 minutes?

Solid.

Bill: Come on, fay.

Just please, take--

good evening, Mrs. Piermont.

Did you spill something?

No.

And she's not going to either.

Bring me a scorpion, please.

And a sweatshirt.

Just the drink.

One scorpion,
hold the sweatshirt.

You can't keep this up, bill.

I guess not.

I mean, why can't you just
accept the new Mrs. Piermont?

Why can't you be born
again without showing

up in your birthday suit.

Oh, I knew there'd be a
quarrel sooner or later.

Ok.

But just slip this
over your shoulders.

Until we get up and go dancing.

Come on.

Just give me a little more
time to get used to the idea?

But at the door, off it goes.

Kathy, it's our last night.

I know.

I'm waiting for an answer.

Well?

Well, Tom, why can't
we go on just as we are?

Because I can't
handle it anymore.

And I'm tired of ducking
around corners and hiding out.

Kathy, I want to
have the feeling

that you're really mine.

Now, bottom line, I want
you to commit to me.

I want to, Tom, but I can't.

I can handle our
age difference.

Now, but in a few years?

I'd always be worried about
what you were thinking.

I'd be thinking how lucky I
was to have someone like you.

I wish I could
be certain of that.

I'll put it in writing.

It just wouldn't work, Tom.

I've thought about it.

I really have.

But I'll always be dreading
the reactions of other people.

Maybe i-- I'm overly
sensitive, but i--

I can't help but feeling that
people would always be staring

at us, thinking I was
some weird old woman

and you were a kinky flake.

Kathy, that
wouldn't bother me.

But it would bother me.

I couldn't live with it.

Kathy--

please, Tom, this
is difficult enough.

Oh, what am I gonna
do without you?

Oh, gee.

I forgot my pipe.

Finish your drink.

I'll meet you
outside the lounge.

You will be there?

Absolutely.

Oh, and remember, you
promised to keep that on.

The minute you
get there, shazam.

Sha-sha-shazam.

Janet: Come in.

Special delivery.

Janet: What's all this?

It's m and m night,
mariachis and margaritas.

And since you weren't
up there, I decided

to deliver to you down here.

Thank you.

You're more than welcome.

What are you doing?

Well-- I'm guarding
this door, ma'am.

I'm just-- I'm protecting
the passageway,

because I don't want any
strange men to-- to bother you.

Oh, good.

If you catch him,
clap him in irons.

I want him chained and helpless.

Me too.

It was very thought
of you, Isaac.

And--

is your-- is
your husband here?

He's in the gym.

Well, then, why should
we waste this time?

Why can't we spend it together?

Huh?

Since you first kissed
me, I knew that you were

trying to send me a message.
- Message?

No messages.

I never send messages.

I'm a very bad correspondent.

I've been trying to
suppress the savages I have,

but when I heard
you were screaming

my name up in the
corner, I knew that you

felt me the same way too.

Wait a minute.

You've got this all wrong.

I kneel at your
feet in worship.

Janet: Oh, wait.

Don't do this.

This is crazy.

Hey.

Janet: I didn't mean to give
you the wrong impression.

Uh huh.

Doc, I got to call doc.

Doc.

I got to call.

Dr. Bricker to the
promenade deck, please.

Emergency.

You better get
out of this room.

I don't want you to see this.
- Burt, no.

No.
No.

It's not his fault. It's mine.

I was trying to make you
think there was another man

and he got the wrong impression.

Then, you mean,
everything was just--

i-- I'm sorry, Isaac.

Look, Isaac, I'm sorry too.

Man, I guess I really
should've known better,

but I was blinded by jealousy.

Good thing you stopped
me in time, baby.

Then, you mean it
was him all the time?

You're a fortunate
man, Mr. Reeves.

Yeah.

I know, Isaac.

As for me, I return to the
silence of my lonely room.

Yeah, I know, Isaac.

Broken, but not defeated,
reflecting on two ships that

passed in the night,
but never met,

two gentle zephyrs
from an innocent past,

shadowy, but ever present,
gossamer whispers.

What?

Gossamer whispers?

What is all this baloney?

What do you mean.

Come on.

Come on.

Honey, I felt so
bad that all you

had to do just to
get through to me

that I felt that you deserved
a little production in return.

You clowns, both of you.

All I want is Mr. Reeves
in and Kurt gowdy out.

You got it, baby.

And thanks a lot, Isaac.

Where have you been?

What's the emergency?

Did you bring the plasma?

Isaac's gonna need it.

Isaac?

Janet's husband caught
them all alone together.

He's gonna break every
bone in Isaac's body.

For this you
interrupted my bingo game?

Little family squabbles?

Little family squabble?

We're gonna need a pair
of eyebrow tweezers

to pick Isaac up.

When are you gonna
learn not to mix in?

And you call
yourself a healer?

Oh.

What is this?

Well, like you said,
it's important we

prove we're unconventional.

Agnes, we're on a
floating massage parlor.

You're just being silly.

Well, if I am,
then so are you.

Look, I agreed when
you said real freedom

comes from inside a person.

Well, if this is your idea of
being unconventional, fine.

Ok then, let's go.

You really made your point.

If you were able to go this
far, it's working for us.

Ok, my new Mr. Piermont,
let's both get into something

more comfortable.

Bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Bye bye.

Oh, here comes the
lady who we thought

was gonna jump overboard.

Oh, thanks for
everything, Julie.

Oh, you're welcome.

Boy, you both sure
look different.

Yeah, we are.

I feel like a new man.

So do I. And I've got one.

Bye bye.

Oh, isn't that wonderful?

They're both behaving
like a couple of kids.

Well, they sure went
to a lot of trouble.

I guess I'm lucky.

I didn't have to do anything.

And I'm already there.

Oh, then, there really
wasn't any sex maniac?

Definitely not.

Well, it's been a
very interesting voyage.

Captain.

Goodbye.

Agnes.

You're sure there
was no sex maniac?

Absolutely.

Come cruising with us again.

Why?

Bye bye.

Bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Excuse me.

Have you seen Mr. Bell?

Yes.

He went ashore.

He was the first
one off in fact.

Excuse me.

I was afraid I'd missed you.

I had to pick up
these two witness.

Witness?

I cabled ahead for
them to meet us here.

Madame, would you
please tell the court how

long you two have been married?

47 years.

And every year it gets better.

How could that
be possible, sir?

Isn't she much older than you?

11 years.

Exhibit a, she
is 11 years older.

Now, would your honor please
look at these two witnesses

and state for the record, do
my grandparents seem happy?

Your grandparents?

The defense rests.

Glad you enjoyed the cruise.

You're ok.

But her husband promised
you he was gonna

take you apart, piece by piece.

I heal quickly.

Thanks for everything, Isaac.

I can't wait to see
what life is gonna

be like when I don't have
to wait for a commercial

to be kissed.

And he won't backslide
either, because he

knows he has competition
waiting in the wings.

Oh, Burt.

Now, speak right into this.

Here, Isaac, take this.

Here.

It's all your.

You got it.

I'm going cold Turkey.

But I can't accept this.

Oh, yes you can.

Can always give it
to somebody you hate.

Bye bye.

So long.

I don't get this, man.

He gave you a present
after knowing what went

on between you and his wife?

Open marriage.

[Music playing]