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1
00:00:12,601 --> 00:00:14,941
How much longer is this gonna take?
2
00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:16,661
I don't know,
how long does it take a man
3
00:00:16,681 --> 00:00:19,621
- to become a God, Lana?
- I don't know, ten minutes?
4
00:00:19,651 --> 00:00:20,691
I still don't understand
5
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,761
why I have to be this naked
in front of Mother.
6
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,607
I don't think you all
appreciate what I've done here.
7
00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,568
Billions of wires, carrying
trillions of data packets,
8
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,659
perfectly and delicately calibrated
to dive into the wet,
9
00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:34,649
- gross mind of a man!
- It all looks pretty mad scientist-y.
10
00:00:34,679 --> 00:00:36,749
Oh, you've even got one
of those big power switches.
11
00:00:36,789 --> 00:00:38,559
That is a precision device!
12
00:00:38,589 --> 00:00:40,159
That I've been saving
for something weird.
13
00:00:40,189 --> 00:00:41,509
So, Krieger, how does this work?
14
00:00:41,539 --> 00:00:42,949
You gonna transfer his memory banks
15
00:00:42,979 --> 00:00:45,769
into my neuro-brain stuff or whatever?
16
00:00:45,809 --> 00:00:49,409
- I call it the reverse Frankenstein.
- Okay, definitely mad scientist-y.
17
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,349
And you're certain this will
give us the information we need
18
00:00:52,379 --> 00:00:53,849
to rebuild the device IIA stole?
19
00:00:53,889 --> 00:00:56,629
I'm certain it might
if his brain doesn't explode.
20
00:00:56,659 --> 00:00:58,529
Wait, which "his?" Am I the "his?"
21
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:02,239
- More importantly, are we in the splash zone?
- Shh. Quiet!
22
00:01:02,269 --> 00:01:04,539
I need total silence
to initiate the sequence.
23
00:01:10,519 --> 00:01:11,819
Sorry I'm late.
24
00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:14,599
I was volunteering at what
I thought was a soup kitchen...
25
00:01:14,629 --> 00:01:15,599
- Shh!
- God dammit!
26
00:01:15,629 --> 00:01:18,599
Ooh, right, sorry.
Wait, what are we doing?
27
00:01:18,639 --> 00:01:20,679
This guy has some
science thingy in his head
28
00:01:20,709 --> 00:01:22,409
that we need for money,
29
00:01:22,439 --> 00:01:24,359
but he's in a coma
and we're almost out of money,
30
00:01:24,389 --> 00:01:26,813
- so Archer's gonna go into his brain.
- We're broke?
31
00:01:26,819 --> 00:01:28,759
Is that why the vending machine
costs money now?
32
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,429
- No, they just finally fixed it.
- We're technically not broke.
33
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:33,969
Just operating on a leaner budget
34
00:01:33,999 --> 00:01:36,039
now that Robert
is tightening the spigots.
35
00:01:36,069 --> 00:01:37,879
Well, money doesn't come from spigots.
36
00:01:37,909 --> 00:01:39,829
So that might be part
of the problem right there.
37
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:43,419
That, and how much did
you spend on this thingamabob?
38
00:01:43,449 --> 00:01:45,359
Well, you gotta spend money
diving into brains
39
00:01:45,389 --> 00:01:46,859
to make money diving into brains.
40
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:50,599
Speaking of thingamabob, do I
need to be hooked up down there?
41
00:01:50,629 --> 00:01:52,669
Great question. Ka-thunk.
42
00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:57,949
It's working. It's working!
43
00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,619
Here we go, buddy.
See you on your insides.
44
00:02:00,649 --> 00:02:01,649
No, no, no, no, no...!
45
00:02:03,929 --> 00:02:05,969
Whoa.
46
00:02:05,999 --> 00:02:07,969
Wait, what happened? Where did he go?
47
00:02:07,999 --> 00:02:12,809
If by he, you mean me,
well then, ta-da!
48
00:02:12,849 --> 00:02:15,689
Where am I?
I'm getting a sex dungeon vibe.
49
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,789
- You're not far off.
- Metaphorically or geographically.
50
00:02:18,819 --> 00:02:20,389
- Did it work? Am I in?
- Nope.
51
00:02:20,429 --> 00:02:22,999
But, side note,
I know how to cure comas now.
52
00:02:23,029 --> 00:02:25,809
Would have been useful
a couple of years ago.
53
00:02:27,979 --> 00:02:30,509
The soup kitchen was a sex club.
54
00:03:02,264 --> 00:03:05,168
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
55
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,707
Can you remember anything
about who you are?
56
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,248
- Where you come from?
- Uh...
57
00:03:12,288 --> 00:03:14,758
I think maybe, your mom's butt?
58
00:03:14,788 --> 00:03:18,368
- Ooh, a funny scientist.
- Aw, come on. I have my moments.
59
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,192
I'm a scientist? Nice.
60
00:03:20,227 --> 00:03:22,408
It's possible
the massive electric shock
61
00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:24,208
may have fried a few of his circuits.
62
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:27,818
- Look, science isn't an exact science.
- Okay, then let's start simple.
63
00:03:27,842 --> 00:03:31,288
- Do you remember your name?
- Uh, no.
64
00:03:31,318 --> 00:03:34,528
Bet my name's something cool
though, like, Colt.
65
00:03:34,568 --> 00:03:36,938
- Yeah. Let's go with Colt.
- Damn. That is cool.
66
00:03:36,968 --> 00:03:38,328
And you're sure you don't want us
67
00:03:38,338 --> 00:03:39,978
to call you Dr. Something or other?
68
00:03:40,008 --> 00:03:42,708
Ugh, lame. Trust me, Colt is fine.
69
00:03:42,748 --> 00:03:45,818
Wait! I'm getting something.
A small blue house,
70
00:03:45,848 --> 00:03:49,628
- two children, and a wife...
- Ugh, enough.
71
00:03:49,658 --> 00:03:51,178
Colt, you're a very
important scientist
72
00:03:51,202 --> 00:03:53,338
on a very important mission, okay?
73
00:03:53,368 --> 00:03:55,808
To redesign the device you were
transporting in Moldova.
74
00:03:55,838 --> 00:03:59,848
Can do, I'll just grab
this pen and paper, and voilá.
75
00:03:59,878 --> 00:04:02,518
- Not bad.
- But terrible riding form.
76
00:04:02,548 --> 00:04:03,888
Oh, I guess I can't do.
77
00:04:03,918 --> 00:04:06,258
But you know the device
we're talking about?
78
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:08,008
- What does it do?
- Well, if memory serves...
79
00:04:08,032 --> 00:04:10,438
- And it mostly doesn't.
- It's an energy source.
80
00:04:10,468 --> 00:04:12,568
Properly used, it could
eliminate our dependence
81
00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:15,708
- on fossil fuels altogether.
- What about improperly used?
82
00:04:15,748 --> 00:04:18,388
It could wipe out
all life on the planet.
83
00:04:18,418 --> 00:04:21,358
- Science, you crazy bitch.
- Yeah.
84
00:04:21,388 --> 00:04:23,958
Oh, God, that must be why
IIA wants it.
85
00:04:23,998 --> 00:04:25,998
It's a classic "evil villain
destroys the world
86
00:04:26,028 --> 00:04:28,338
with some sort
of weird doomsday device" plot.
87
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,808
- Obviously.
- Oh, hey, wait.
88
00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:31,478
I'm remembering some other stuff.
89
00:04:31,508 --> 00:04:33,718
- One, metal rules.
- Preach, brother!
90
00:04:33,748 --> 00:04:35,588
And two, I left my notes
on a memory stick
91
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:37,718
hidden in the device,
along with a homing beacon.
92
00:04:37,758 --> 00:04:40,898
Did I have a talky-talk on me
when you picked me up?
93
00:04:40,928 --> 00:04:43,398
Okay, I might be able to track it.
94
00:04:43,438 --> 00:04:46,878
- Whoa, who is this hot piece of ass?
- That would be you.
95
00:04:46,908 --> 00:04:49,478
Ah, here we go.
The device is in Singapore.
96
00:04:49,518 --> 00:04:53,918
- IIA's headquarters are in Singapore.
- I'll get my checkbook.
97
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,898
That's my room service!
98
00:04:59,938 --> 00:05:04,208
- We just got here.
- I preordered it from the plane phone.
99
00:05:04,548 --> 00:05:07,578
Damn. How do you say
"Bitchin'" in Singaporean?
100
00:05:07,618 --> 00:05:10,458
Actually, the primary
language here is Mandarin.
101
00:05:10,488 --> 00:05:12,558
Did that feel good?
Making me feel small?
102
00:05:12,588 --> 00:05:14,868
- Yes, it did.
- This place is incredible.
103
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:18,468
This was almost our honeymoon.
Maybe an anniversary?
104
00:05:18,508 --> 00:05:20,778
Oh, sure, yeah, maybe.
Hey, where's Ray?
105
00:05:20,808 --> 00:05:23,128
Who knows? He's been asking
for a lot of time off lately.
106
00:05:23,152 --> 00:05:25,548
For some family emergency
or something.
107
00:05:25,588 --> 00:05:27,018
As if four cats are family.
108
00:05:27,058 --> 00:05:30,428
I'm all for a successful mission,
but first class tickets,
109
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:32,028
and a penthouse with room service?
110
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:34,438
We need to talk about how
much all this is costing.
111
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,968
Later. Everyone, listen up.
112
00:05:36,008 --> 00:05:39,408
Lana, Cyril, and I will survey IIA
and develop an entrance strategy.
113
00:05:39,412 --> 00:05:41,888
Okay, this will ping
the homing beacon, I think.
114
00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:44,958
- Still a bit fuzzy on the science.
- That's great.
115
00:05:44,988 --> 00:05:46,498
Krieger, you stay here with Colt,
116
00:05:46,528 --> 00:05:48,528
and try to jog his memory
for more information.
117
00:05:48,568 --> 00:05:50,568
Hey, I'll race you to remember.
118
00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:53,138
- Hey, I am a funny scientist.
- Eh.
119
00:05:53,168 --> 00:05:56,648
- And, Mother...
- There has to be a bar around here.
120
00:05:56,678 --> 00:05:58,788
Uh, keep doing what you're doing.
121
00:05:58,818 --> 00:06:00,858
And, Robert,
you're on point here at HQ.
122
00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:04,598
- So what are they doing here?
- Um, comic relief.
123
00:06:04,628 --> 00:06:08,968
- Thank you so much.
- Ah! Are you tipping him $500?
124
00:06:09,008 --> 00:06:10,708
Relax. It's my money.
125
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,818
And sometimes I like to give
service people a thrill.
126
00:06:12,842 --> 00:06:15,648
I'm sorry, Miss,
was my service unsatisfactory?
127
00:06:15,688 --> 00:06:17,488
Perhaps this is generous
in your country,
128
00:06:17,518 --> 00:06:20,598
but in Singapore, it's...
how would you Americans say it?
129
00:06:20,628 --> 00:06:22,098
- Jack shit.
- What?
130
00:06:22,128 --> 00:06:24,638
Singapore is an
extremely wealthy country.
131
00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:28,938
- And there he goes again.
- Ha! Your money means less.
132
00:06:29,548 --> 00:06:30,978
Wait, am I poor here?
133
00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:34,118
Do you really have to bring
that up right now?
134
00:06:34,158 --> 00:06:36,628
What? All I said was,
"Trouble in hell,"
135
00:06:36,658 --> 00:06:39,568
as a play on "trouble in paradise,"
because your husband sucks,
136
00:06:39,598 --> 00:06:42,468
and it seems like you're avoiding him,
which, now that I think about it,
137
00:06:42,508 --> 00:06:46,078
- I should've said, "success in hell?"
- I don't want to talk about it.
138
00:06:46,108 --> 00:06:47,718
What happened? Did you tell him about
139
00:06:47,748 --> 00:06:50,165
- tongue-wrestling that dude in Japan?
- Jesus, Archer!
140
00:06:50,166 --> 00:06:52,158
- You cheated on Robert?
- No!
141
00:06:52,188 --> 00:06:55,868
Well, I almost, sort of,
kissed someone else.
142
00:06:55,898 --> 00:06:58,138
- Oh, my God.
- But that's all that happened!
143
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,108
- Besides the cuddling.
- Not helpful.
144
00:07:00,138 --> 00:07:03,048
Okay, how about now?
145
00:07:03,078 --> 00:07:05,788
No, I don't think
the jogging's working.
146
00:07:05,818 --> 00:07:08,658
Hey, what if you put me back in
the coma and woke me up again?
147
00:07:08,688 --> 00:07:11,968
- A hard reset.
- That's just crazy enough to work.
148
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,798
Or not work. Pretty 50/50.
149
00:07:13,838 --> 00:07:15,668
I think I remember liking those odds.
150
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,908
- God, I love science!
- Well, I don't.
151
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,219
Dammit, Lana, if you're
making a cuckold of Robert,
152
00:07:20,243 --> 00:07:22,448
- he deserves to know!
- That is not what's happening!
153
00:07:22,449 --> 00:07:23,818
And who are you to judge?
154
00:07:23,858 --> 00:07:26,628
- You and I both cheated on each other!
- And it broke me!
155
00:07:26,658 --> 00:07:27,898
Not a real high bar.
156
00:07:27,922 --> 00:07:31,068
Cyril, I'm sorry for the past, okay?
But this is different.
157
00:07:31,098 --> 00:07:33,068
I am not the same person
I was back then.
158
00:07:33,108 --> 00:07:35,178
Also, I never told you about
any of the times
159
00:07:35,208 --> 00:07:36,778
I cheated on you
when we were together,
160
00:07:36,818 --> 00:07:39,118
and trust me, Lana,
you were way happier for it.
161
00:07:39,148 --> 00:07:41,728
Oh, you never had to tell me.
162
00:07:42,928 --> 00:07:45,048
Shh, follow me.
We're gonna go in the bedroom.
163
00:07:45,072 --> 00:07:46,768
Oh, so anyway,
164
00:07:46,798 --> 00:07:49,608
uh, this is what
a king-size bed looks like.
165
00:07:49,638 --> 00:07:52,678
I'll see you out, Mrs. My Dentist.
166
00:07:52,708 --> 00:07:54,888
She fell for it!
167
00:07:54,918 --> 00:07:56,248
Let's just focus on the mission...
168
00:07:56,288 --> 00:08:00,228
infiltrating this weirdly
casual botanical garden.
169
00:08:00,258 --> 00:08:01,628
Wait, I think we did it.
170
00:08:01,668 --> 00:08:04,198
This is the top spy agency
in the world.
171
00:08:04,238 --> 00:08:05,668
You can't just waltz right in.
172
00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:07,808
Really?
Because it seems to be working.
173
00:08:10,778 --> 00:08:13,758
- Bingo. All...
- Clear!
174
00:08:13,788 --> 00:08:14,758
What the hell are you doing?
175
00:08:14,788 --> 00:08:17,128
Uh, putting the ghost back
in the meat suit.
176
00:08:17,158 --> 00:08:18,868
Going again!
177
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:22,538
1 Bukit Batok Street,
25, Singapore, 658882!
178
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,108
That's my address. I lived here!
179
00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:28,618
Also, I talked to God.
She is real, and she is pissed.
180
00:08:28,648 --> 00:08:30,918
- Sounds like my kind of broad.
- Okay.
181
00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:33,558
Go to that address and see
if he remembers anything else.
182
00:08:33,598 --> 00:08:35,228
We'll stay here and handle the comms.
183
00:08:35,268 --> 00:08:37,198
Okay, are you sure you know how?
184
00:08:37,238 --> 00:08:40,138
- Go!
- Don't worry, we've got this.
185
00:08:40,178 --> 00:08:42,578
Sterling? Sterling, it's me.
186
00:08:42,608 --> 00:08:45,288
Sorry, Malory, we have
a similar system at my company.
187
00:08:45,318 --> 00:08:48,558
- I think you're on mute.
- Turn it up. Sterling?
188
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:50,228
Sterling! Sterling!
189
00:08:50,258 --> 00:08:51,858
And to speak,
you gotta hold down the...
190
00:08:51,882 --> 00:08:56,068
If you move that hand another inch,
you won't have it anymore.
191
00:08:59,648 --> 00:09:01,948
Thanks for joining the IIA team.
192
00:09:01,988 --> 00:09:04,658
Have a seat
and fill out this application.
193
00:09:04,688 --> 00:09:08,058
- Orientation will start shortly.
- Uh, okay.
194
00:09:08,098 --> 00:09:10,838
Well, well, well, look
who just waltzed right in.
195
00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:12,168
We didn't have a choice.
196
00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,308
Some IIA drone
handed us cucumber waters
197
00:09:14,338 --> 00:09:16,348
and told us not to miss
the orientation.
198
00:09:16,378 --> 00:09:18,718
And he complimented my surveilling.
199
00:09:18,748 --> 00:09:21,588
Looks like this is some
sort of recruitment event.
200
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,828
Oh, they must be poaching
agents all over the industry.
201
00:09:23,858 --> 00:09:25,698
Welcome. Hey, y'all, come on in.
202
00:09:25,728 --> 00:09:26,968
Come on in, welcome.
203
00:09:26,998 --> 00:09:28,768
All right, let's fill up
from back to front.
204
00:09:28,808 --> 00:09:30,308
- Wait, Ray?
- Archer!
205
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:33,178
Uh, this isn't what it looks like.
206
00:09:33,208 --> 00:09:35,348
Unless it looks like
I'm working for IIA,
207
00:09:35,388 --> 00:09:37,218
because then, yeah.
208
00:09:37,258 --> 00:09:40,513
Although technically I'm temp to perm.
209
00:09:41,906 --> 00:09:44,517
Welcome to the IIA family.
210
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,020
You're about to start
the most exciting journey
211
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:50,145
of your lives.
To be honest, I'm jealous.
212
00:09:50,185 --> 00:09:52,985
Ray, what in the Harold Cole?
You're working for IIA?
213
00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:54,218
It's not personal.
214
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,025
I just need a back-up plan
in case the agency goes down.
215
00:09:57,065 --> 00:09:58,835
So you've been commuting
back and forth
216
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,365
to work part-time in Singapore?
217
00:10:00,405 --> 00:10:03,775
I just borrow Robert's plane.
I mean, that way it's free 99.
218
00:10:03,805 --> 00:10:07,115
IIA may be the world's
leading spy agency,
219
00:10:07,145 --> 00:10:08,985
but we only have one mission...
220
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,270
to make the world a better place.
221
00:10:11,295 --> 00:10:14,995
Ugh, why do all billionaires
have this gross savior complex?
222
00:10:15,035 --> 00:10:16,735
You're married to a billionaire.
223
00:10:16,765 --> 00:10:17,935
- For now.
- Shut it.
224
00:10:17,975 --> 00:10:19,215
What are y'all talking about?
225
00:10:19,245 --> 00:10:21,215
- Lana cheated on Robert.
- We just cuddled!
226
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:23,815
Which is emotional cheating,
which is way worse!
227
00:10:23,845 --> 00:10:26,885
- Yeah, she's a monster.
- Oh, my God. I want to die.
228
00:10:26,925 --> 00:10:30,295
And I want deets!
God, I have missed the hot goss.
229
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:34,205
Home sweet home.
I guess I'm not married with kids.
230
00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:38,145
Hmm, this is your place? Ooh and ah.
231
00:10:38,175 --> 00:10:41,285
As in, I'm in awe of how eww it is.
232
00:10:41,315 --> 00:10:42,635
I guess if I lived in Singapore,
233
00:10:42,659 --> 00:10:44,755
I'd have to live in
a hellhole like this.
234
00:10:44,795 --> 00:10:48,165
- Probably drowning in my own urine.
- Oops, rent notice.
235
00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:50,905
Damn, my rent is $12,000 per month?
236
00:10:50,935 --> 00:10:54,175
- Um, wait. Is that a lot?
- Yes!
237
00:10:54,215 --> 00:10:58,355
- Whoa, sweet guitars!
- Right? I hope they're mine.
238
00:10:58,385 --> 00:11:02,025
- Does any of this spark anything?
- Oh, not yet.
239
00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:05,295
- Oh, no! No! No!
- What?
240
00:11:05,335 --> 00:11:08,205
My name's not Colt. It's Jeremy!
241
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:10,775
- Ugh.
- Wait, what's on the back of that?
242
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:12,245
- Numbers.
- Yes!
243
00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:15,455
- Location coordinates, to be exact.
- Let's roll out, bitches.
244
00:11:15,485 --> 00:11:18,255
Hold on, I feel like there
has to be something else.
245
00:11:18,295 --> 00:11:20,065
I think this might be important.
246
00:11:20,095 --> 00:11:21,265
Okay, well, just bring it
with you and...
247
00:11:21,295 --> 00:11:23,135
And I think this might be important.
248
00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:27,075
The model submarine and this broken
plastic fork are definitely important.
249
00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:28,815
- Okay.
- And this!
250
00:11:28,845 --> 00:11:30,605
The model submarine,
the broken plastic fork,
251
00:11:30,629 --> 00:11:34,155
and this poster of an alien
in a bikini are all important.
252
00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:37,935
- Sure, fine, now can we just...
- And this! This is for sure important.
253
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,265
Oh, God, no!
254
00:11:39,269 --> 00:11:41,475
- Wait, what about this?
- Eh, nah, that's nothing.
255
00:11:41,505 --> 00:11:43,475
But it was hidden in that statue!
256
00:11:43,505 --> 00:11:45,985
Okay, fine. But you're carrying it.
257
00:11:46,015 --> 00:11:47,385
That's the big question?
258
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,825
Well, here at IIA,
259
00:11:49,855 --> 00:11:53,360
the answer is flipping
the paradigm so we achieve
260
00:11:53,361 --> 00:11:56,865
our measurables with
maximum ROI cost-benefit.
261
00:11:56,905 --> 00:11:58,835
Oh, hey, I just got
corporate buzzword bingo.
262
00:11:58,875 --> 00:12:01,415
Well, mock all you want, but
Fabian knows what he's doing.
263
00:12:01,445 --> 00:12:02,605
Oh, yeah, and what is that?
264
00:12:02,629 --> 00:12:04,915
Securing a monopoly
over the entire spy industry
265
00:12:04,955 --> 00:12:06,995
so he can corner the market
and gain undue influence
266
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:10,225
- over national and global politics?
- He also makes a mean quiche.
267
00:12:10,265 --> 00:12:13,835
It's all just so structured.
Oh! An org chart?
268
00:12:13,865 --> 00:12:16,305
- Hey! Snap out of it.
- Right. Bad guys.
269
00:12:16,345 --> 00:12:18,985
Organized, sensible,
401k-providing bad guys.
270
00:12:19,015 --> 00:12:21,015
Listen, this orientation
is our chance, okay?
271
00:12:21,055 --> 00:12:23,685
We have to get further into the
building without drawing attention.
272
00:12:23,715 --> 00:12:25,925
Good luck. Security might
be breezy out here,
273
00:12:25,965 --> 00:12:29,135
but nobody gets into zone 2
without a lapel chip.
274
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,175
It also controls
when we can use the bathroom,
275
00:12:31,205 --> 00:12:34,015
which seems, you know,
like a crime, almost.
276
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:36,415
Hey! They make us pay for these!
277
00:12:39,985 --> 00:12:43,265
Good God, this guy is lame.
This is supposed to be our competition?
278
00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:45,535
Mm, technically, no. He's crushing us.
279
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,535
You're so lucky this ripped on a seam.
280
00:12:47,575 --> 00:12:49,545
You could've asked me for help,
you know.
281
00:12:49,575 --> 00:12:52,445
Could I? Or are you too busy
working for the competition?
282
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:55,185
- Again, not our competition.
- He's got a point, Ray.
283
00:12:55,215 --> 00:12:57,925
Of course I'm gonna help you!
I mean, don't get me wrong,
284
00:12:57,926 --> 00:13:00,255
the money's great here,
but y'all are family.
285
00:13:00,265 --> 00:13:01,905
I'm gonna try pinging
the homing beacon.
286
00:13:01,935 --> 00:13:03,655
That must be
the underground warehouse.
287
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,605
- Great. Can you take us there?
- Sure thing.
288
00:13:05,645 --> 00:13:08,075
Oh, I just earned my
bathroom break for the day.
289
00:13:08,115 --> 00:13:09,315
Who needs a pit stop?
290
00:13:09,345 --> 00:13:10,425
- I could tinkle.
- No time.
291
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:12,375
Just pee in your pants.
It's what we trained for.
292
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:13,955
Sterling, dear, it's me.
293
00:13:13,985 --> 00:13:18,935
What is your status regarding
Operation IIA Take Down? Over.
294
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,065
Damn it!
295
00:13:20,105 --> 00:13:23,305
- Sterling? Sterling!
- Moms, right?
296
00:13:28,385 --> 00:13:32,325
Aw, totally bungling
a mission for avoidable reasons?
297
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:34,165
Ah, it takes me back.
298
00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:37,265
Well, that was easy.
299
00:13:37,305 --> 00:13:40,075
Hey, what's the form you fill out
for getting your ass kicked?
300
00:13:40,105 --> 00:13:42,515
Looks like 22-C, which entitles them
301
00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:46,285
to free rehabilitation and
up to four weeks sick leave.
302
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:49,095
Shit! Guys, the memory stick
is on the move from the warehouse.
303
00:13:49,125 --> 00:13:50,905
Okay, let's split up.
Lana and Cyril, you get
304
00:13:50,906 --> 00:13:52,685
to the warehouse and rig
the device to explode.
305
00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:56,345
Ray and I will find the memory stick
and we'll meet you there.
306
00:13:57,445 --> 00:14:01,025
- Oh, no, why'd it have to be Terry?
- Please, we can take him.
307
00:14:01,055 --> 00:14:03,155
No, he's just the only friend
I've made here.
308
00:14:03,185 --> 00:14:05,095
We ate lunch everyday
at the same table.
309
00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:06,325
Attention.
310
00:14:06,365 --> 00:14:08,495
All agents, be on the lookout
for suspicious elements.
311
00:14:08,535 --> 00:14:11,635
- Ah, buttercups.
- Any weaknesses I should know about?
312
00:14:11,675 --> 00:14:14,545
- He loves pudding?
- Probably won't come up, but okay.
313
00:14:14,575 --> 00:14:17,515
- Ah...
- This isn't personal!
314
00:14:17,545 --> 00:14:20,955
I genuinely value you
as a co-worker and a friend!
315
00:14:20,995 --> 00:14:24,040
- Who are you?
- Oh, screw you, guy!
316
00:14:30,615 --> 00:14:33,245
- Guards. Be careful.
- Should we tiptoe?
317
00:14:33,285 --> 00:14:37,185
- Like you're tiptoeing around Robert?
- Cyril, I swear to God.
318
00:14:37,225 --> 00:14:40,295
- What will you do if he finds out?
- Well, as long as no limp-dick,
319
00:14:40,325 --> 00:14:42,665
four-eyed nerds
run their mouths, he won't!
320
00:14:42,705 --> 00:14:45,785
One, we both know my penis is
generally firm when it needs to be.
321
00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:47,545
And two, I've been hesitant
to say this,
322
00:14:47,575 --> 00:14:49,285
but you leave me no choice.
323
00:14:49,315 --> 00:14:52,215
Lana Kane,
you are turning into Archer.
324
00:14:52,255 --> 00:14:54,025
And you are turning into
a gigantic pain
325
00:14:54,055 --> 00:14:57,525
in my otherwise perfect ass.
There's our target.
326
00:14:57,565 --> 00:15:00,305
- Okay, I'll create a distraction...
- No, I've got this.
327
00:15:00,335 --> 00:15:02,275
Watch the bureaucratic master at work.
328
00:15:02,305 --> 00:15:03,575
You there!
329
00:15:03,605 --> 00:15:06,585
You can't be on guard duty, you
forgot to fill out your T9-32!
330
00:15:06,615 --> 00:15:08,415
- Got it right here, pal.
- Oh.
331
00:15:08,455 --> 00:15:10,555
But that truck isn't a company asset,
332
00:15:10,595 --> 00:15:14,695
- which means you also need a...
- A CM-5? Not my first rodeo.
333
00:15:14,735 --> 00:15:17,035
Hey, don't you need a VS-10
to be in here?
334
00:15:17,065 --> 00:15:19,245
Crap. Good bureaucracy.
335
00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:23,185
Okay, maybe not the best distraction.
336
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,555
- Ya think?
- Just like your emotional affair
337
00:15:25,565 --> 00:15:27,405
isn't the best distraction
from the fact that...
338
00:15:27,429 --> 00:15:30,695
Oh, my God.
I'm not turning into Archer!
339
00:15:30,735 --> 00:15:32,295
Really? Let's look at the evidence.
340
00:15:32,335 --> 00:15:33,735
You hit on anything that moves,
341
00:15:33,765 --> 00:15:36,305
you party all night and sleep all day,
342
00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:37,705
and you've been taking way too many
343
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:41,485
- gummy women's multivitamins.
- Wait, that's an Archer thing?
344
00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:53,205
Damn it, those explosives were
the only way to blow up the device.
345
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:55,045
All right, so we'll rig
a bomb or something.
346
00:15:55,069 --> 00:15:56,485
Improvising? Okay, "Archer."
347
00:15:56,515 --> 00:15:57,655
- What?
- Enough!
348
00:15:57,685 --> 00:15:59,755
Everybody enough! If I know IIA,
349
00:15:59,785 --> 00:16:02,455
Diamond Force is probably
coming for us right now!
350
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:05,195
- Diamond Force?
- The elite kill squad.
351
00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:07,735
- They all wear matching diamond rings.
- Cool.
352
00:16:07,775 --> 00:16:09,605
Well, we can't leave
the device and risk IIA
353
00:16:09,645 --> 00:16:13,145
using it to blow up the world,
which means...
354
00:16:13,185 --> 00:16:17,185
- Yeah?
- Oh, I had hoped you had something.
355
00:16:18,525 --> 00:16:21,165
This is the nicest
parking lot I've ever seen.
356
00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:23,165
What do you think this space
goes for right here
357
00:16:23,205 --> 00:16:25,535
between these lines?
Like, 5, 6 million?
358
00:16:25,575 --> 00:16:27,305
Do you recognize anything yet, Colt?
359
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:29,115
Hold up.
I thought his name was Jeremy.
360
00:16:29,145 --> 00:16:30,655
I'm sticking with Colt, damn it!
361
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:34,825
- There, that's it.
- Oh, my God. It's gorgeous!
362
00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:36,575
Just installed a new engine last year.
363
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:38,135
There's a kegerator in the back,
364
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:39,765
and she gets three miles per gallon.
365
00:16:39,805 --> 00:16:43,245
But on a good downhill, I can
jack that baby up to four.
366
00:16:43,275 --> 00:16:45,175
How do you remember
nothing about who you are,
367
00:16:45,215 --> 00:16:49,085
- and everything about this van?
- I mean, I get it.
368
00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:57,875
- Change of plans.
- As usual.
369
00:16:57,905 --> 00:17:00,615
- What the...? Ray?
- Pam! Guess what?
370
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,145
We don't have time for this.
It's Diamond Force!
371
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,314
- What's the plan, Archer?
- Um, swerve until they
372
00:17:27,315 --> 00:17:30,439
accidentally shoot the device
and blow it up for us?
373
00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:31,769
Someone get Mother on comms!
374
00:17:31,809 --> 00:17:34,779
I need some cataract-filled
eyes in the sky.
375
00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:37,549
We no longer have comms
because you two destroyed them!
376
00:17:37,579 --> 00:17:39,859
Shouting at me doesn't
make me regret things, Cyril!
377
00:17:39,889 --> 00:17:42,689
Yeah, sometimes you have
to make a call in the moment!
378
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,669
- Ho-ho, of course you'd take his side.
- Who's side? Mine?
379
00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:48,139
I am not! Turning! Into Archer!
380
00:17:48,169 --> 00:17:51,379
Okay, I really feel like
you guys are talking about me.
381
00:17:51,409 --> 00:17:54,319
- Damn it, could you be quiet?
- Wow, passive aggressive much?
382
00:17:54,349 --> 00:17:56,559
Not the point, asshole.
383
00:17:56,589 --> 00:17:59,699
This is Ray to Old Mother Hen.
Do you copy?
384
00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:01,429
- What did he say?
- Mother!
385
00:18:01,459 --> 00:18:02,829
It's them! We're back online!
386
00:18:02,869 --> 00:18:04,349
I need you to find me a cliff!
387
00:18:04,373 --> 00:18:06,309
- You look!
- Yeah! Teamwork!
388
00:18:06,339 --> 00:18:07,809
Okay, looking for a cliff.
389
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:12,189
Let's see, there's a gentle slope.
It's really beautiful country.
390
00:18:12,219 --> 00:18:14,559
Oh, my God, dying over here!
391
00:18:14,589 --> 00:18:16,459
There! The Marina Bay Sands!
392
00:18:16,489 --> 00:18:19,199
There's the incomplete freeway
overpass nearby.
393
00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:21,539
Yes! I can't believe I'm saying this,
394
00:18:21,563 --> 00:18:22,739
but nice work, Robert.
395
00:18:26,879 --> 00:18:28,319
Okay. Everybody in the van.
396
00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:32,189
- Excuse me, his name is Jethro Kull!
- Whatever!
397
00:18:32,229 --> 00:18:36,429
Smooth in-line tracking,
and accurate ceiling constellations?
398
00:18:36,469 --> 00:18:40,439
- This van rocks!
- Did someone say, "rock?"
399
00:18:41,649 --> 00:18:45,489
- Ragnar Rockingson!
- Oh, good, another Krieger.
400
00:18:49,799 --> 00:18:51,519
Get the memory stick
and Colt out of here!
401
00:18:51,543 --> 00:18:53,499
- What about you?
- I'm gonna ditch the flatbed
402
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,309
over the overpass and hope
the fall destroys the device.
403
00:18:56,339 --> 00:18:57,899
What if you can't make it out in time?
404
00:18:57,909 --> 00:18:59,879
Just jump the gap and we'll lose them!
405
00:18:59,919 --> 00:19:03,759
- This way's more heroic!
- Asshole!
406
00:19:20,519 --> 00:19:22,159
Archer!
407
00:19:25,529 --> 00:19:26,599
Ah, shit.
408
00:19:26,639 --> 00:19:29,239
- Sterling Archer.
- Present.
409
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:32,649
You may have destroyed
my device and stolen my plans,
410
00:19:32,679 --> 00:19:35,949
but you left us with a very
powerful bargaining chip...
411
00:19:35,989 --> 00:19:37,219
- My life?
- Your life!
412
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,799
Shit, sorry. I can tell you
thought that would sound cool.
413
00:19:39,829 --> 00:19:40,929
Here, try it again.
414
00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:42,799
Blah blah blah,
bargaining chip, and...
415
00:19:42,829 --> 00:19:45,939
- ah, shit!
- Do you ever shut up?
416
00:19:45,969 --> 00:19:48,949
At movies, I guess.
If they're good... ow!
417
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,419
Oh, God, Mr. Archer is gonna die,
418
00:19:51,449 --> 00:19:52,849
and the agency is gonna go bankrupt,
419
00:19:52,873 --> 00:19:54,959
and I'll be stuck in Singapore
living in this van!
420
00:19:54,989 --> 00:19:57,999
- Back seat folds down into a bed.
- Oh, my God, it does!
421
00:19:58,029 --> 00:20:00,669
You know you're still bonkers
rich in America, right?
422
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,939
Oh, yeah. I feel better.
Let's go home.
423
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,409
Okay, what about saving
Archer and the agency?
424
00:20:05,449 --> 00:20:08,789
- Eh, I've got options.
- Cyril, cover me. I'm going after him.
425
00:20:08,819 --> 00:20:11,389
And how do you plan to do that?
That's Diamond Force!
426
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,459
- I mean, did you see those rings?
- I'll figure it out on the way!
427
00:20:14,499 --> 00:20:16,299
So no plan. Just like Archer.
428
00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:19,569
Risking everything
for whatever works for you.
429
00:20:20,779 --> 00:20:23,549
It's a shame it had to come
to this, Sterling Archer.
430
00:20:23,579 --> 00:20:26,449
Yeah, I'm feeling that too.
Might be a near death thing though.
431
00:20:26,489 --> 00:20:28,829
Near death? I don't want to kill you.
432
00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:30,699
I want you to work for me.
433
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,599
It's just a shame it involved
blowing up my warehouse.
434
00:20:33,639 --> 00:20:36,809
What? When we first met
you said you'd never hire me.
435
00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,709
What can I say? You've grown on me.
436
00:20:38,749 --> 00:20:41,019
Your pure, raw instincts are something
437
00:20:41,049 --> 00:20:43,819
no organizational flowchart
can replace.
438
00:20:43,859 --> 00:20:46,029
Well, right now, my pure,
raw instincts are saying,
439
00:20:46,059 --> 00:20:49,009
"Screw you, Fabian!
I'll never help you with your classic
440
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:50,339
"evil villain destroys the world
441
00:20:50,369 --> 00:20:52,739
with some sort of
weird doomsday device plot!"
442
00:20:54,639 --> 00:20:56,509
- What?
- You heard me. Never!
443
00:20:56,549 --> 00:20:59,749
Wait, do you think I'm, like,
some kind of, super villain?
444
00:21:02,759 --> 00:21:07,299
Oh, my God, that's so...
oh, that's so funny.
445
00:21:07,339 --> 00:21:09,879
Okay, I can totally see how it
could have come off that way.
446
00:21:09,909 --> 00:21:12,749
Wait, so you're not trying
to destroy the world?
447
00:21:12,779 --> 00:21:16,759
No! Archer, I want to use the device
448
00:21:16,789 --> 00:21:18,759
for its intended purpose...
449
00:21:18,789 --> 00:21:22,869
eliminating our global
dependency on fossil fuels.
450
00:21:22,899 --> 00:21:25,909
Really?
Wow. I mean, talk about crossed wires.
451
00:21:25,939 --> 00:21:28,509
But first, I'm going to make
fossil fuel companies
452
00:21:28,549 --> 00:21:31,379
pay me a huge ransom
not to use the device,
453
00:21:31,419 --> 00:21:33,389
whilst also running
a protection racket
454
00:21:33,419 --> 00:21:36,859
over every major country
to ensure I don't blow them up.
455
00:21:36,899 --> 00:21:40,369
Okay, wires uncrossed.
You're evil. I'm back out.
456
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:42,909
Shame, I'm going to make trillions.
457
00:21:42,939 --> 00:21:44,809
And you could have been part of it.
458
00:21:44,849 --> 00:21:47,197
But alas.
459
00:21:48,649 --> 00:21:51,789
Holy shit! Oh, my God.
460
00:21:51,829 --> 00:21:53,559
Oh, you guys are in so much trouble.
461
00:21:53,599 --> 00:21:56,069
Let me introduce you to Barry
the death cyborg,
462
00:21:56,099 --> 00:21:58,539
who actually is my friend now,
right, Barry?
463
00:21:58,569 --> 00:22:01,706
Sorry, pal. It's actually Other Barry.
464
00:22:02,433 --> 00:22:07,609
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