All language subtitles for I.Really.Hate.My.Job.2007.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CARS DRIVING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: What if good
things don't

come to to those who wait?

I mean, do you just keep waiting
or what?

God, everyone else is going
home.

Why do I have to go to work?

How is it possible to feel this
isolated and claustrophobic

at the same time?

Well, maybe that's my problem.

I think too much.

Christ, all these people.

They're probably all thinking
too,

but what are they thinking?

Maybe my hopes are too high.

What I need is not to need and
to live in the moment.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

That's it.

I should live in the moment, but
what on earth does that mean?

As if I could avoid living in
the moment.

I mean, I'm in it, whether I
like it or not.

Breathe.

[SIGHS] Breathe.

[EXHALES] Yeah, OK.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Oh, god, I'm late!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Every day, another day closer to
the day

I'll never have to do this
again.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi, Alice.

Hey, Suzie. [THUD]

[INHALES]

Madonna, I'm sorry I'm late.

It's fine.

ALICE: Suzie, could you make me
a coffee?

Sure.

Cappuccino?

ALICE: Yeah, thanks.

Yeah.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

WOMAN 1: Hang on.

[CHILD WHINING]

There, there.

Good girl.

[CHILD MUMBLING]

WOMAN 1: Sit nicely.

Hi.

[PHONE RINGING]

MADONNA: Hello, Stella Bar.

Uh, I'm sure we can fit you in.

Hold on one moment.

Let me just go to my book.

Right, can I take a name?

Yes, great.

[MAN LAUGHING]

Thanks.

Thank you.

See you tonight.

Thanks.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

Thanks. Bye-bye.

See you again soon.

[CHILD LAUGHING]

SUZIE: Hey, Alice.

Smile.

I met a guy last night, who said
he could smoke with his eyes.

How?

I don't know.

ALICE: Didn't you ask him?

No.

[CHUCKLES] How could you not
ask?

[LAUGHS]

I don't know.

Uh, guys, um, hate to nag.

But it's, um-- - Did you know--

--getting late.

--it's a fact that 70% of women

live their lives embroiled in a
miasma of disgust?

A fact?

70%.

Where did you get this fact?

The news.

And it wasn't a headline?

Nope.

What's a miasma?

It's sort of like, you know, a
cancer or a dry rot.

Women spend most of their time
in a dry rot of disgust?

ALICE: [CHUCKLES]

SUZIE: Oh.

[SIGHS]

How's your book going?

I finished it a week ago.

Alice, that's great!

Congratulations!

Well done!

What's it about again?

About a woman who runs away.

Where does she go?

To the sea.

SUZIE: What then?

She sits on a pier and looks at
the sky for about 150 pages.

[SIGHS]

I'd like to read that.

Thanks.

I mean, I'd like to read it if
it was interesting.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello, Stella Bar.

Hello?

Could you please stop doing
that?

Just-- Dave, you should be here
cooking.

What?

He hung up.

Who?

Dave.

Barking--

Barking mad?

No, like a dog.

Oh.

Drunk.

Right.

So can Paolo cook tonight?

Paolo resigned at lunch.

What? Why?

Burnt his arm.

Oh, is he OK?

Works the kitchen--

and I'm sympathetic to a point.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[EXHALES DEEPLY] There's only 25
booked.

What?

Bonus?

For what?

I've never done it before.

You know, Dave told me once, he
thought you

had real potential as a chef.

You're recommending the
opinions of a man

who just barked at you.

He said that before he barked.

I'm a kitchen hand.

Alice, we are a family here.

Families pull together.

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: Families
don't pay by the hour.

MADONNA [VOICEOVER]: Please,
please, please!

60 quid and no more bookings.

Rita can help you.

Rita burns water!

MADONNA: Uh, maybe you should
get started now.

- Can I just finish my coffee? -
Of course, yes.

I'm sorry.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello.

Stella Bar.

Greg!

Hi.

There's been a slight change of
plan.

[CLEARS THROAT] Yeah, um--

ALICE: [WHISPERING] Dear Alice--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MADONNA: Dave can't come in.

He's had some kind of terrible
accident.

But Alice is cool to do it.

Yes, she is.

Oh, she'll be fine.

She'll be fine.

OK, bye.

[EXHALES] Where is Abi?

Hey, ladies!

Abi, I hate to mention this,
but you are 15 minutes late.

I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Sorry.

My yoga teacher died.

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Rita!

[SIGHS]

You sure you're going to be OK
doing this by yourself?

Can you smell something?

Like what?

You can't smell flesh?

No.

[EXHALES] Did your yoga teacher
really die?

Right in the middle of a
downward dog.

How's the acting going?

I didn't get that job I was
going for.

Which one?

Kitchen sink drama.

Depressing, really, considering
what an expert I am.

Well, anything else lined up?

Did you get up to anything last
night, Al?

Don't call me Al.

No.

I'm too broke.

You?

Broke up with a boy.

How old are you, Al?

Uh, 33 or 4 or something.

I'm good.

[EXHALES] I'm sorry about-- what
was his name?

Phil.

Phil.

Yeah.

I'm 30 today.

Oh, my god.

Happy get-older day.

Yeah.

Don't tell anyone, all right? -
Oh, what about?

Phil?

Oh, god no.

About my birthday.

Why'd you tell me then?

I needed to tell someone older.

Tell Rita then.

She's 48.

[SCOFFS]

Hey, is this OK?

[SNIFFING] Mm, I don't know.

I'm borderline.

Marinade?

Yeah.

You know Keats?

The poet.

Yeah.

What about him?

Died at 26.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

MADONNA: Rita!

Alice would love a hand when
you're ready.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I had such a vivid dream last
night.

[GROANS] I can't bear dreams.

It concerned light.

I'm not listening.

The light had a face.

I'm warning you.

It was singing.

It had a nose!

OK, stop.

GUY 1: [LAUGHING]

Can you ask them to leave?

No.

[GROANS] Go on.

You get them out.

[WHISPERING] Abi, come on!

It's policy.

[WHISPERING] Policy?

This isn't NATO, for Christ's
sakes.

You need to learn to be more
assertive.

[SIGHS]

Really?

[WHISPERING] Yeah, and less
sarcastic.

[WHISPERING] You are the
sarcastic one.

Oh, really? GUY 1: I didn't
know you shaved.

[LAUGHS]

[EXHALES HEAVILY] [GROANS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[CLEARS THROAT] Excuse me.

GUY 1: She demanded it.

GUY 2: In the zoo?

[LAUGHTER]

[CLEARS THROAT] Guys-- GUY 1:
Hello.

I'm sorry. I have to ask you to
leave.

We have to prepare a place for
dinner.

GUY 1: So tell me, do find you
find your job abhorrent?

Just curious.

GUY 2: [CHUCKLES]

No.

I find it challenging.

GUY 1: Really?

GUY 2: What do you do?

[LAUGHS]

I waitress.

GUY 2: Do you want to be a
waitress.

I am what I do.

GUY 2: No, no, no, no.

You do what you are.

[LAUGHTER]

OK, we're leaving.

Thank you.

Suze, how old are you?

24.

[GROANS] God, you have so much
time.

How old are you?

28.

It's only four years older.

First World War lasted four
years.

A lot happened.

Did I tell you that Terry said,

in London no one is more than 20
feet

away from a rat at any time?

Remind me how Dave does a
chicken.

Yeah.

Let's-- so marinate the chicken
in lemon juice,

balsamic vinegar, and olive oil
so it's real juicy,

even if the chicken's old.

Char-grilled.

All under control, Alice?

Mm-hmm, like a well-oiled
machine.

Rita, you're happy to do
salads?

I'm not going--

Fantastic.

Do you know, it is so great to
have all women

in control in here tonight.

Right on, sister.

[MUSIC - AL BOWLLY, "LOVE IS THE
SWEETEST THING"]

[SINGING] Love is the sweetest
thing.

What else on earth could ever
bring--

What are we listening to?

[SIGHS] Al Bowlly.

He died in the war--

Cafe de Paris, the Ritz in the
Blitz.

Don't tell me he wrote hits.

He did.

He's got a better range than
Sinatra.

Sinatra didn't have a range.

Exactly.

Suzie, you are 20-fucking-four.

You're meant to be listening to
Justin-fucking-Timberlake!

Will you please stop swearing?

No one ever tell you what
language is for, Suze?

It's for fucking expressing
yourself.

That mirror is absolutely
filthy.

Now it would be great if you
guys could use

your initiative a little more.

Toilets and fridges?

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[MUSIC - GUSTAV MAHLER,
"SYMPHONY NO.

5"]

Will you kill the goddamn
funeral music?

Cheers me up.

I can't bear it a second
longer.

[SCOFFS] Change it then.

[RADIO STATIC]

[MUSIC - ORLANDO "MARACA" VALLE,
"DESCARGA DE HOY"]

ALICE: Rita, can you start the
salads, please?

I can smell rat shit with my
mouth.

God, whatever happened to
unions?

I don't know if I can do this.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Put it in perspective.

Hmm?

What perspective?

It's only cooking for people
you don't care about.

I mean, it's a shit kitchen.

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: She wouldn't
have

to stop when she's on the pier.

It needs a stronger transition.
- Why are doing this?

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: I need to
rewrite it.

I need to--

Why are you doing this?

What do you mean?

You don't have to do this.

[SIGHS] I have bills to pay.

You are an intellectual.

[SARCASTICALLY] Yeah, right.

You are smarter than you give
yourself credit for.

You're just saying that.

Well, how else am I meant to
communicate?

Suzie, you're on table 27.

I can do the rest.

Abi, you're doing the bar, and
you could

help us out when we're busy.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: Oh, my god.

I'm going to die.

And please, g--

guys, we really need to work as
a team tonight.

So no annoying the intercom or
sneaky wine tasting.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: I'm going to be
70 in 40 years.

[MUSIC - ORLANDO "MARACA" VALLE,
"DESCARGA DE HOY"]

[RATS SQUEAKING]

[TINY FOOTSTEPS]

[RATS SQUEAKING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Oh, I'm sorry.

We're pretty full tonight.

Four?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Um, well, maybe
we--

sorry, could you just hold the
line a moment?

Excellent.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ew, ew, ew!

Under the table!

Oh, my god.

It's huge!

Beat the fucker to death.

Suzie!

[RAT SQUEAKING]

Hey, Donna, how old are you?

Why?

Just curious.

28. Why?

How old are you?

26.

Huh.

So were you actually born,
Madonna?

Was I born?

You told me you were 28.

Well, no.

I figured you were born.

But were you christened,
Madonna?

Or did you, like, borrow it off
someone else?

Oh, shit.

It's gone.

The question is, where did it
go?

I met someone who knew you at
school.

[MUSIC - KATE NASH, "CAROLINE'S
A VICTIM"]

[SINGING] Caroline's a victim.

Caroline, Caroline--

Uh, hello.

I'm sorry about the delay.

How can I help you?

Yes?

RITA: The rats are significant.
[SIZZLE]

[SQUEALS]

The fact that the worker here
today was burned

is significant.

OK, I know.

You think you know, but you
don't.

We constantly function from the
position of received ideas.

Can I take a name?

[WHISPERING] You promised Alice
no more bookings!

Danny-- what?

Sorry.

Could you spell that?

H-U-S-T-O-N?

Lovely.

9 o'clock-- uh, can I take a
contact number?

0207-342-- great.

Lovely.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Who?

Uh, Danny Huston.

As in the actor Danny Huston?

I didn't ask what he does, Abi.

Well, did you speak to him?

No, it was his PA.

How do you know it was his PA?

[CLICKS TONGUE] Uh, she said, I
am Danny Huston's PA.

[LAUGHS] I love Danny Huston!

SUZIE: What's he been in? - Oh,
god.

Everything!

But, um, uh, that film, where he
plays a producer or something,

um, in Hollywood.

And he dies at the end.

You know, that Danny Huston!

Abi, there's a Steve McQueen
who works in my post office.

This Danny Huston might not be
that Danny Huston.

How many post office workers
have PAs?

[INHALES]

SUZIE: You really like him!

[SCOFFS] Suze-- god, he is like
a proper

old-fashioned movie star.

Now I know who you mean.

He has the eyes of a beautiful,
wild animal.

I wouldn't put it exactly that
way, but--

Oh, yes!

Uh, sorry.

Yes, I know who you mean.

Um, he was in that, um--

[CLICKS TONGUE] that film
called--

[SIGHS] Suze, have you got your
camera on you?

Of course.

Great.

Could you kind of
surreptitiously, um--

What?

Well, take a-- a-- a shot of--

of--

SUZIE: [LAUGHS] You want me to
take his photo?

No, you can't do that.

That is so what my mother would
do.

You can't do that.

And it takes one star to cause
a stampede of them.

A stampede of stars--

RITA: Would you agree that, as a
culture,

we are overcome not by the sense
of possibility

but the banality of the social
orders we have erected

for ourselves?

Salads!

Customers arriving in 10.

I need to do his table.

You're doing the bar.

I help out on the floor when
necessary.

This is necessary.

What?

You think he's going to insist
you are

given a role in his next film?

Stranger things have happened.

I don't know if that's true.

Suzie, I am begging you.

This is me begging you!

And movie stars hate to be
bugged by desperate waitresses.

OK.

I might be desperate, but I am
not above humiliation.

Toilets, Abi.

Suze, water, please.

[EXHALES] Suzie, please,
please, please!

Please, please, please!

Please, please, please, please!

OK.

You can do his table but only if
I get to play at least four Al

Bowlly songs without complaint.

[SQUEALS] I love you, Suzie!

I love you. I love you.

I love you.

God, imagine his handsome face
here.

Abi, you're behaving like a
teenager.

[SIGHS] If only I was one.

At least I'd have a future.

You're not even 30.

What's it like being you?

Fucking sad.

Abi, please don't drink on
shift.

First customers due.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: In reality, he
might be a midget.

He could be the actor equivalent
of the fake moon

landing theory.

He might love me.

[MUSIC - AL BOWLLY, "THANKS"]

[SINGING] Thanks for all the
lovely

delights I found in your
embrace.

Greg's coming in tomorrow to
talk.

SUZIE: What about?

I think maybe we need to
rationalize

our business strategy to become
more cost effective.

SUZIE: What does that mean?

Uh, that we need more
customers.

How's Simona?

Oh, yeah.

You know, she's, uh, she's--
she's really great.

What?

She keeps saying that maybe we
should be friends.

Aren't you friends already?

They always say they want to be
friends

when they want to leave you.

Oh.

I'm sure it's just a hiccup.

[EXHALES DEEPLY] Have you tried
drinking her upside down?

What?

Um, I'm sure everything will be
fine.

Oh, no. Yeah, absolutely.

It'll be fine.

You know, there was this couple
in last night

who seemed really in love.

So I gave them really great
service.

Then the phone rang.

It was his wife who was in
hospital, in labor

with their first child.

[GASPS] So he was with his
mistress.

Yes.

So I had to tell them we were
closing.

SUZIE: What time was it?

Around 11:00.

[CHUCKLES] But that's when we
close.

But they didn't know that, did
they, Suzie?

No.

This was made by a street
cleaner who spent his life

photographing snowflakes.

Wow.

That's-- that's very good.

Isn't it?

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES] Are you enjoying art
school?

Oh, my god, yes.

MADONNA: What are you working
on?

Well, mainly portraits of the
hands of people I have loved

and a video of people trying to
remember the lyrics

of their favorite songs.

But for my final year show, I'm
thinking of filling the gallery

with tiny photographs of
precious objects

you have to really peer at to
see properly.

Simona said my slippers
repulsed her.

That's not good.

You know, I'm really glad that
she felt she could tell me.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOOR OPENS]

Uh, may I help you?

First orders of the night-- no
starters,

two chicken, one salmon.

Can you believe who's coming to
dinner?

Virginia Woolf?

No.

Table for four at 9 o'clock in
the name of Danny Huston.

As in the actor?

As in the actor.

He's a very versatile actor.

ABI: I didn't know you were a
movie buff, Rita.

Oh, I like well-crafted,
morally

complex movies with strong
narrative and powerful acting.

Who wouldn't?

Stop it.

Madonna promised me no more
bookings.

ABI: This is an exception.

Why?

He is an amazing actor!

Wow.

Hey, what do you got against
actors?

ALICE: They're like tribute
bands.

Excuse me?

They speak someone else's
words,

interpret someone else's ideas,
and try

to look like someone else.

The joy!

They're faded copies of a
vibrant original.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What is the justice in George
Clooney getting millions

for playing, say, a doctor, when
real doctors

get a fraction of that?

Or a cook-- how much did Julia
Roberts get for "Mystic Pizza"?

More than I get, I bet.

ABI: Julia Roberts was the
waitress not the cook.

Yeah.

OK, whatever.

two chicken, one salmon.

Most of the world doesn't even
have clean water.

Well, that doesn't mean we
shouldn't drink it!

Has there ever been a film that
truly

showed the life of a woman?

That would be a really boring
film.

Take the bread.

You know, you guys really need
to lighten up.

[THUD]

Bloody fans!

MADONNA: Order, table 10.

Two soups, one linguine, one
jamon.

Table 8 ready?

[CHOKES]

God, it is hot in here.

Madonna, you promised no more
bookings!

Oh, I'm sorry.

This is only four.

Can't turn down celebrities.

I'm not a cook.

MADONNA: Alice, you gotta
remember--

Ah!

--that it's very good for the
restaurant to have

well-known people eat here.

[COUGHS] I cannot stand
celebrity culture.

It's only one celebrity not the
whole culture.

Man, a real movie star here
tonight.

I still can't quite believe it.

Oh, for God's sake!

So, Mrs. Manager, what you
doing about the worker being

burned today?

Rita, are those salads ready
yet?

MADONNA: Yeah, I feel really bad
about it.

You've got to remember that
everybody

gets burnt in a kitchen.

Ah!

RITA: The heat probably drove
him crazy.

Jesus, Alice. It's Danny
Huston.

I mean, what is not to love?

Rita, we're in this together.

I'm sorry, but I don't really
believe you are that affected

by the workers under your care.

I don't know him.

People don't love movie stars
because they

"know them know them."

Yeah, OK, whatever.

That's patently unfair.

I started the recycling scheme.

[LAUGHS] That's about rubbish!

No, that's about Mother Earth.

Yours is a drab, drab world.

RITA: How do you live--

Alice, table 8.

--perpetuating an exploitative
system?

Rita, you've got to get passed
the blame here

and embrace the positivity of
what you're doing.

You know, we're not exactly down
a diamond mine in Sierra Leone

here.

OK, table 8.

[ANGRILY] If it's such a nice
job,

why is it so hard to get the
fans fixed?

It's such a nice job?

MADONNA: The fans are being seen
to.

No.

The fans are symbolic.

Of what?

Of the possibility of air, and
movement, and pleasure!

[LAUGHS]

Of the possibility of being
able to breathe freely.

Hey, ladies.

Suzie!

Abi, can you take these to
eight, please?

Can you take these soups to 10,
please, my love?

I need to have a little chat
with Rita.

[CHATTER]

You know, I think it's great
we're talking

and that you feel you can
express your feelings to me

about--

And the rats?

What about the rats?

You know that every cafe in
Soho has rats.

OK, so give me one reason why I
should care about the fate

of this gilded cage?

Would a hug help right now?

Oh!

Madonna, you forgot the salad.

[CLEARS THROAT] No, I'm OK,
really.

I'm just--

I really appreciate this chat.

Thanks, Rita.

Blimey.

What's with the hugging?

What can I get you to drink?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

How's your boyfriend?

I have no boyfriend.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLATTERING]

[RATS SQUEAKING]

What about that guy with the
haircut?

Gone.

[RATS SQUEAKING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHATTER]

ABI [VOICEOVER]: 73 minutes to
go.

Good evening.

How are we tonight?

MAN 1: Yeah, great.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREAMING]

What can I get you to drink?

MAN 3: A bottle of champagne,
please.

A very good choice.

[SCREAMING]

[MUSIC - KATE NASH, "MERRY
HAPPY"]

[SINGING] Dancing at discos,
eating cheese on toast,

yeah, you make me merry, make me
very, very happy.

But you obviously, you didn't
want to stick around.

Dancing at discos, eating cheese
on toast,

yeah, you make me merry, make me
very, very happy.

But you obviously, you didn't
want to stick around.

So I learnt from you.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Table 4-- no starters, one
chicken, two salmon, one lamb.

[GASPS] Hey, Rita, parking
meter.

Hold that pot up like you're in
a dream ranch.

Dream ranch?

Great.

Alice, do you think oysters ever
feel aggressive?

Hard to say.

They flinch.

Oh, not flinch.

They're not people.

It would be hell to be an angry
oyster.

Busy in there?

No fists to shake--

Suzie.

--because you have no fists.

Can you take these starters to
12?

OK.

But you'll like this, I went to
a Chinese restaurant the

other night, and on the menu--

Stop now.

OK.

OK, I'll be quick.

On the menu they had fish lip
with couch

and a small pan of greed.

RITA: [LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLES] Imagine the size of
a fish lip on a couch.

RITA: [LAUGHING]

[CHATTER]

Hey, you OK?

[SIGHS] Phil keeps texting me
that

breaking up with me is the best
thing he has ever done.

Like, repeatedly-- like he is
ecstatic.

He says that I am self-obsessed,
but

self-obsession is just my way of
trying to work things out.

I mean, why can't anyone see
that?

I can see that.

I really can.

You can?

Mm-hmm.

Um, two glasses of house red and
sparkling.

RITA: You lost weight, haven't
you?

Jesus!

RITA: It's good you dropped some
pounds.

You were enormous.

So what happened to the guy you
were seeing?

I only saw him once.

You get down and dirty?

High-waisted jeans.

So?

They were ironed.

Ah.

It was such a relief.

I had finally reached the end of
my life as a sexual being.

Enormous?

Yeah.

I didn't want to say it.

Yeah.

I've been thinking of writing a
story about how

love affairs and murder both
begin

with the discovery of a body.

You actually ever had a
boyfriend?

Rita--

Name one.

Stefan.

So you're not a virgin!

One bottle of sparkling for
eight, and two San Miguel

for 10.

Hey, what do you think makes
Danny

Huston so utterly appealing?

What?

I don't know.

Come on.

He's talented.

He's a time traveler, and he has
empathy.

[CHATTER]

WOMAN 2: Thank you.

You know, millions of lovebirds
have empathy,

but you don't necessarily want
to sleep with them.

I don't want to sleep with him.

You don't?

No.

What do you mean time traveler?

What you love about him is both
real and a phantom image.

Two espressos for 11, please.

What do you mean phantom image?

All movies are like ghost
stories.

I don't follow.

Every movie is an image of the
past played out in the present.

And therefore, all movie actors
are, in a sense, phantoms.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLINKING]

Tennis players eat bananas.

What?

Tennis players eat bananas!

Sports people used to think you
have

to have little section of
oranges,

and then someone thought of
banana.

It's the potassium, so no more
cramps.

Rita, please.

All I'm saying here is maybe--
just maybe there are some

aspects in our life in which we
are still eating oranges,

when we could at least be
thinking about

the possibility of bananas.

What are you talking about?

[SCREAMS]

You never been married.

Who mentioned marriage?

[SIGHS]

We got work to do here.

Pot calling kettle.

[ANGRILY] What do you know
about me?

What do you know about anything?

You don't know me, my feelings,
my pain, nothing!

Rita, calm down.

It's-- it's true.

I don't really know a lot about
you.

But I mean, we're not on a date
here.

And I mean, what do you want me
to say, you know?

I really am sorry if you're
going through stuff,

but I'm kind of preoccupied
here!

We can still talk, can't we?

OK.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

SUZIE: Two linguine for table 4.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

MADONNA: Two linguine.

[GASPS] [GAGGING]

Sorry!

You can try to be pleasant.

I've had it!

So naive.

How the days just fly--

SUZIE: How is table 7 doing?

MADONNA: How's table 4, Alice?

- Abi! - Watch it!

Same to you.

ALICE: Table 4!

ABI: All done?

OLD MAN 1: Yeah, it was
delicious.

Thanks.

WOMAN 3: Can I have the bill,
please?

Of course.

I think he has a very manly
figure.

I don't know.

I like men a little fatter.

You have met someone.

OK, yes.

Dreamy, arty, weirdo type?

Maybe.

Where did you meet him?

Whitstable, at Adam's house.

We talked all night without
touching.

[SARCASTICALLY] Oh, how
touching.

Don't be mean.

How old is he?

19.

You're in love with a chubby
embryo?

Abi, I thought you were keeping
an open mind about men.

My options do not include
children or the obese!

His weight is irrelevant.

How many pounds? 250?

280? How many?

Abi--

How fat?

Kind of-- kind of like Santa.

Jesus.

Is that so weird?

Yes!

Order, table 4.

I think you guys are doing an
amazing job in here.

Tarts, table 9.

MADONNA: Keep up the good work!

She ever tried to hug you?

Mm, a couple of times.

I find hugging as a management
strategy sinister.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, Suze.

Can I run something by you?

[WHISPERING] Wait, I'll just
deliver these, yeah?

[SIGHS]

I got offered a job yesterday.

No.

Yes.

A friend of my mother's, who
works in this crappy publishing

house, offered it to me.

It's ghost-compiling a
newsreader's favorite poems.

OK.

Do you know Tony O'Donnell?

RITA: Yeah, sure.

Well, a book is coming out of
his favorite poems,

but he doesn't want to choose
them.

That is hilarious.

[WHISPERING] I have been
offered a, uh--

a role in a porn film.

Oh, my god.

[GROANS] I have studied Ibsen
and Chekhov.

[SIGHS] I'd love to see one of
the three sisters

deal with this one.

See you.

You finish your book and get a
job in publishing.

That's so great.

So when are you going to start?

I'm not.

What?

I cannot, in all conscience,
accept such a job.

But it could get you out of
here.

At least in here it's honest.

Bullshit.

Don't romanticize it.

At least I'm not lying.

You know, sometimes you have
the smugness

of a hippie fascist.

One glass of merlot, one still.

Go on.

It's a new line in art porn.

You know, like-- like porn in
black and white.

Hmm.

You know like, um, examining
the texture of your knee

as his gnarled hand moves across
it.

They're offering me 1,000 quid.

[SIGHS] I'm so fucking broke.

I got no electricity.

I have a Visa bill at 17.9
percent interest.

Who's gnarled hand?

[SIGHS] My elderly fictitious
uncles.

Wow!

[SIGHS] At least the director
is gay.

Man or woman?

A man.

- Why is that at least? - I
don't know.

Somehow it seems less creepy. -
Mm-hmm.

Wait a sec.

[METAL SQUEAKING]

[THUD]

[CLANKING]

[THUD]

70.9% is really high.

You should get a low-interest
loan and pay it off.

Suzie!

I'm with you.

This is serious!

I realize this.

What's the story?

An innocent but literary blind
girl is sent

to stay with her crippled,
gnarled-handed

uncle in the country.

Things transpire.

[SIGHS] The gateway to my guts
on the big screen.

What do you think?

Should I do it?

Gateway to your guts?

Don't be naive.

OK.

OK.

So you'll be playing an innocent
but literary blind girl.

That will be acting.

Exactly!

The fact that sex is involved
should be irrelevant.

How about the fact that you'll
be causing

erections of the penises of men
you haven't met?

Hey, never think of your
audience.

Number one rule-- way too
paralyzing.

[WHISPERING] Besides, I bet
there's

some sickos out there who carry
wood 'cause a bee's

landed a fucking rose petal.

You should aim higher than
this.

I am aiming at the fucking
moon.

But like I said, I got no
electricity

and 17.9% fucking interest!

Weird they call it interest.

It's so not interesting.

Suzie.

God, but can you imagine your,
you

know, um, stretched across the
screen the size of a bus?

Don't say bus.

Strange, but the, uh, energy
feels really,

um, distracted in here tonight.

I'm sorry.

Did you say something, Madonna?

[CHUCKLES]

Please, guys.

We really need to develop a more
positive--

WOMAN 5: Good night.

Thank you.

--energetic vibe.

Bottle of cab sav for 10,
please, Abi.

You know, you lost your mojo.

Since you seem to know me so
well,

Rita, when did this legendary
time exist

I actually had a mojo to lose?

Come on, Alice.

You're an intellectual.

You can work it out.

I'm not an intellectual.

I am just tired.

Intellectuals can be tired.

Actually, you're right.

That's true.

They can!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Suzie, can I ask you something?

Of course.

Do I look OK in the mornings?

Most people look better at
night.

I wonder if you've kissed her
for the last time.

No, I mean, I'm sure you will
again.

I just always think it's so
strange that we will do things

for the last time in our life
one day, and most of the time,

we won't realize it's the last
time.

I don't believe in such
negative thinking.

It's not negative.

It's just real.

Reality is what you choose to
make of it, Suzie.

Table four need help.

What would you say if I said, I
don't believe

table four exists right now?

I would acknowledge your right
to that belief,

but if you were to believe it
for more than about

two minutes, then we'd have to
discuss

your feature shift allocations.

Fair answer.

Table four it is, then.

[LAUGHS]

Did I ever tell you about
Salvadore?

No.

He was a communist.

Was he?

If it weren't for the tragedy
of his violence--

The tragedy of his violence?

I thought the thieving was
batty.

I mean, he was the kind of guy
who cried at the leaves falling

off trees.

And can I go with him-- he
wanted me to go with him, yes.

And can I lend him some money?

So I say, sure, why not.

He goes, I have a little money
saved.

And then, I discovered about the
guns.

Rita, can we just finish what
we have to do here, please?

OK.

So tell me what you want me to
do.

Have we decided yet?

They should be here any minute.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: Stay calm, stay
calm.

Would you mind going through
the menu?

My eyesight's really bad.

Sure.

French onion soup, for starters,
with crostini linguine

with Sicilian tomatoes and
basil,

finished with an aged Castellini
Parmesan, rocket salad

with crushed broad beans from
the veil of Evesham,

served with baked goat's
cheese--

ABI [VOICEOVER]: He'll look at
me and just think no,

or he won't even say no.

He just won't notice me.

Shropshire lamb shanks
marinated in Puglian red wine--

ABI [VOICEOVER]: Dismiss my
whole life without letting me

give him any real reason to
reject me.

If only he would give me that
chance.

With a Roman telleglio risotto.

Sides are green salad, beans, or
spinach.

Is the salmon very filling?

Well, that depends on how much
you like to eat.

I'm sorry.

How could I possibly know what
you need or like?

Or if you have, say, eating
disorders,

or dairy or wheat intolerances?

Or if you are a glutton, or a
picker?

I mean, I am not psychic!

Oh, God.

I am so sorry.

You know, I think we better go
somewhere else.

I'm really sorry, I'm just a
little strung out tonight.

I'm sorry too.

I really like your shirt.

It's my birthday.

Is that really necessary?

Yes.

Why?

Because I want to leave this
place clean.

Obviously.

I mean, live it, live it.

As in, I am living.

What do you mean?

Have you noticed I'm a
dishwasher?

Uh, yeah.

And you don't think I should
aim a little higher?

Of course I do.

[CLANG]

I have been half asleep.

Can we discuss this later?

Yes, sure!

Defer any real discussion
again.

God, Greg bizarrely just phoned

me, asking about takings.

If I can predict takings on a
night that's still young.

The world is a complex beast,
isn't it?

That's because it's full of
humans.

Madonna, I may as well tell you
now, I quit.

What?

I'm giving you a moment's
notice.

Why?

Because I think workers deserve
more

respect that is given here.

How have I not shown you
respect?

That you don't know the answer
to this question

is significant.

Rita.

Like I said before, I think it's
really

great that you are expressing
your confusion about your role

here.

[YELLS] How can I be confused
about dish washing?

There is no confusion here.

Rita, I'm really sorry, but I
really

need you to understand that I am
really very busy right now,

and I would be very happy to
discuss this with you later.

But right now, I really need to
get these meals out.

Eleven.

You're really quitting?

Yeah.

I'm going to Chile.

He rang me.

Chile.

Hm?

Oh, Jesus, Alice.

Haven't you been listening?

The tragedy of violence guy?

Yeah.

Salvadore.

Madonna, the lights have gone.

Repulsive.

He was arrested.

What?

When?

When we were practically kids.

I went to prison for a little
while too, as an accessory.

When I was released, I wasn't
allowed to contact him.

I thought I'd never see him
again.

[YELPS]

But then he rang me.

[SHOUTS]

Pick up, pick up!

Madonna, can you get in here.

MADONNA: Abi, I need some help
on the floor.

Join the club.

Abi, can I have two house
white--

what are you doing?

I think there's some fruit
stuck in the plug.

Can you do it later, please?

Really lodged in there.

It's really solid free--

Oh my God.

[WRETCHES]

[WHISPERS] Did anyone see that?

No one is gagging.

At least, no customers are
gagging.

ABI: Oh my God, is this what my
life has come to?

Oh my God, dead rats are really
bad for business.

Can't work like this.

Alice.

So how did he get your number?

I don't know.

Google.

Your phone number's in Google?

What if he doesn't live up to
your memory of him?

He would have still served his
purpose.

Which is?

A reminder of possibility.

Everything all right here?

Yeah.

Lovely.

Great.

[GASPS]

Omni ma shivavar.

Omni ma shivavar.

Omni ma shivavar.

Suze, could you please wrap up
the vessel?

Wash your hands afterwards,
please.

Abi, could you disinfect yours?

The vessel?

Yes, Suzi.

That's all that poor rodent is
now, an empty vessel.

It's nothing to be frightened
of.

You know the feeling when
you're walking up

the aisle of a plane and you
have to pee

and it's kind of embarrassing
because everybody knows you're

about to pull your pants down?

Well that reminds me of
waitressing.

Everyone fucking knowing that
you're

the one whose career has either
fucked up

or hasn't happened yet.

The one who is metaphorically
pulling your pants

down eight times a week.

You've got to stop this.

Guy is so late.

MADONNA: Hello there, can I get
you a menu, please?

OLD MAN: Huston.

MADONNA: Houston.

Excellent.

Come in.

So if you'd like to come around.

OLD MAN: Thank you.

MADONNA: Table three.

OLD MAN: Yes. We are three, yes.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: Three of them?

Only three old people?

And no Danny.

MADONNA: Sir, if you'd like to
join me on this side.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: Career.

It's what happens when you lose
control of a car on a wet road

and it slams into a brick wall.

Crash.

RITA: It's not going to be easy
going

back after all these years.

I don't know.

It sounds like you've made up
your mind, though.

That's not that simple.

OK, well, just do what you have
to do, Rita.

OK, Mrs. Clarity.

When was the last time you knew
what you really wanted?

I know exactly what I want.

What?

I want to want the last six
years of my life

not to be a waste of time.

I want to publish a book.

I want to live a rewarding life.

And when was the last time you
wanted to make love?

Rita.

Well?

ALICE: Christ, what I want is a
clean pan.

Mineral water, please.

Fizzy.

I'm sorry?

Fizzy.

Fizzy water?

Fissy?

Oh, fizzy.

Sure.

Is anyone else coming?

May I see the wine list, my
dear?

Sure, I'll get you one.

Anyone hungry?

Something to nibble?

I think we just wait for Danny.

[HALLELUJAH CHORUS]

Sure.

I wonder if they're his
grandparents.

SUZIE: Oh, God.

I hate it when Madonna does that
kneel down

to take their order bullshit.

It's so phony, like everyone's
on the same level.

I think they're Eastern
European.

That doesn't surprise me.

Why?

Well, Danny Huston looks kind
of--

well, like he's from Vienna or
Bucharest in about 1921.

That's incredibly specific.

I've never believed time was
linear.

So when am I from?

Hm.

1953.

What was I doing in 1953?

Waitressing.

ABI: Huh?

In Minnesota.

That's a terrible date!

Give me another one.

You can't argue with my dates.

Please, guys, don't congregate.

There's work to be done.

Abi, a bottle of pinot, table
two, please.

Can I have some what?

- Two cabernet sauvignons, Abi.
- Rita, bring the tarts.

- Bream for number seven. - 10,
Alice!

Two tarts for table five.

Abi, come on.

MAN: Just not eating the salad.

Sorry.

There's grit on the salad.

[GASPS]

Abi!

Jeez.

Chop chop!

Turn it down!

[EXPLOSION]

Ah!

Right.

I need two steaks, medium rare,
table two.

Please, not burnt.

Shh.

MADONNA: You OK?

Never better.

Did you hear the news, Madonna?

There is an eagle loose.

There was a warning for
everybody with small dogs

to keep them inside.

You read it?

No, I didn't.

And to be honest, Rita, I don't
quite

understand why you're sharing
this information with me.

Because nothing happens like
you think it will.

I mean, you have a little dog,
right?

And everybody's saying how cute
it is.

And then wa-bow!

An eagle takes it.

Man, an eagle in the city!

Nature's coming!

Whoa!

Whatever, Rita.

[GASPS]

Oh.

Table 2.

Oh, you know, that actually
looks pretty good.

You're a genius, Alice.

Oh!

Let go!

[SQUEAKING]

What's it like, being you?

Hey, Alice.

Can you give Danny's musical
grandparents

some fancy toast or something on
the house while they wait?

Danny's musical grandparents?

Uh huh.

Why?

PR.

Don't mention PR in my kitchen.

Ooh, Al.

Your kitchen.

Anyway, it's not toast.

It's bruschetta.

And don't call me Al.

- Ooh! - Oh Jesus, Abi.

As if I haven't got enough to do
here.

Oh, come on.

It's just four bits of toast.

Well, three, at this point.

OK.

OK.

If it will shut you up.

You're an angel.

He is coming!

The Ice Man Cometh!

Christ, it's hot in here.

Could you not pick, please?

I'm running out of everything.

And can you get us some drinks
in here?

Couple Cokes?

ALICE: Thanks.

Mineral water.

Sparkling. ABI: Oh, come on,
chef.

Go crazy.

Have a Coke.

I never had a Coke in my life.

Not even a sip?

No.

But drinking Coke is like
getting your period.

It just happens.

Pepsi?

No.

Have you had McDonald's?

But you smoke.

Right?

It's human nature to be
inconsistent.

You know, if every year you
smoke

takes five years off your life,
and I've

been smoking for 38 years, that
means I

have lost 190 years of my life.

That means I should have died in
1850, which was

134 years before I was born.

Which I didn't.

So why worry?

I think that can go.

It's on the house.

OLD WOMAN: Oh, that's very kind.

OLD MAN: Why you give people
free toast?

Oh, we like to give it to
people who are waiting.

OLD MAN: But we are not waiting,
are we?

[LAUGHS] Yes, you are,
actually.

OLD WOMAN: George.

Danny is coming.

OLD MAN: Oh, yeah.

I'm sorry.

I'd forgotten.

Yes.

So why'd you break up with him?

I left him.

I didn't want to be around when
he left me.

[SQUEAKING]

[SCREAMS]

OLD MAN: But why?

Why do you give free toast?

It's bruschetta.

It's kind of complicated.

OLD MAN: [LAUGHS] Like rocket
science!

That is such an easy cliche.

OLD MAN: Cliche?

No, it is metaphor.

[SQUEAKING]

[SCREAMING]

Actually, it's not a metaphor.

Rocket science is literally
complicated,

yet as an expression, it has
become a cliche.

[SCREAMING]

Can I get anyone anything else?

OLD MAN: No, we are fine.

Yeah.

Oh, that was so disgusting.

Like a fat octopus pouring
itself into a key hole.

Abi, I think you and I really
need to have a talk later.

[MOCKING] Abi, I think you I
really

need to have a talk later.

Abi, it's obvious that you have
personal issues.

But I really don't think it's
fair of you to take it out--

[MOCKING] I really don't think
it's fair of you to--

I will not dignify this abuse
with a ply.

That was a reply, Jane.

What?

Your friend from school told
me.

Told you-- told you what?

That she once knew you as Jane.

I will not dignify this.

[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]

Do you have any idea where my
marzipan could be?

Abi?

Have you seen my marzipan?

You think I'm fat.

That depends.

On what?

You're the type of girl who's
always too fat because she

always thinks she's too fat.

It's like your brain is fat.

I have a fat brain?

I thought you were doing yoga
to calm down.

Oh, it does calm me down.

But contorting my body is not
going

to get rid of the wall-to-wall
frustration

that carpets my fucking mind.

Don't take it out on me!

OK! OK!

God.

It's like a fucking morgue in
here.

[MUTTERING] Such a drama queen.

Did you just mutter at me?

You know, you don't exactly
encourage

people to speak their minds.

OK.

Fine.

I'm listening. Talk.

Talk to me. What?

What is it?

What do you want to tell me?

Fuck!

Abi, you're not your best self
tonight.

Is that breast milk I smell on
your guilded fucking lips.

How much have you drunk
tonight?

Come on, guys.

We are really not functioning as
a team here.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: Fat brain?

Fat brain?

SUZIE [VOICEOVER]: Yes.

Fat, fat, fat, fat!

OK, I need two rose and three
sparkling--

[MOCKING] Rose and three
sparkling--

- Please. - Please.

I gotta go pee.

What is wrong with her tonight?

I think she's going through
some kind of crisis.

She's always going through some
kind of crisis.

Doesn't mean it's any less of a
crisis though.

Do you have any idea where my
marzipan could be?

Table twelve.

Two lemon tarts for nine,
please.

[KNOCKS]

Abi.

Abi, are you OK?

ABI: I'm sorry I was mean just
then.

That's OK.

Two sparkling on seven?

ABI: I'm premenstrual.

Are you taking evening primrose
oil?

ABI: Yeah, I took some in some
vodka

before I left home tonight.

Good.

Um-- Hi.

Hey.

One minute of air.

OK, one minute.

Old people are smug.

Musicians are always smug too.

Old musicians, what a terrible,
smug combination.

Maybe they are fantasists.

Danny is probably in Los Angeles
right now

having lunch with a starlet.

- Is that still a term? - What?

Starlet.

It's like, um--

It's like kitchenette.

Such a great word!

Ah, to be a starlet with a
kitchenette.

So why does this girl in your
book runaway?

I don't know.

You have to have a clear idea
why things happen.

Otherwise, you are dealing in
generalities,

and the narrative loses its
punch.

A life has no plot.

A book is not a life.

Books without plots are boring.

I mean, is Anna Karenina only
the story of a woman who

threw herself under a train?

Or is Ulysses just about a day
in the life of a man in Dublin?

OK, point taken.

Is The Great Gatsby only about
a rich man?

Yeah, OK, OK.

You're OK?

I'm fine.

[KNOCKING]

Coming.

Alice, I think you've been
trying really hard.

And I am really so impressed
with how you've

been coping so amazingly well.

We just had another complaint
about the chicken.

Apparently, it was burned and
raw.

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: Oh, God.

Burnt and raw.

It's actually quite a difficult
thing to do,

if you think about it.

I have had to knock it off their
bill.

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: Is something
burning?

[COUGHING]

They're fine.

Burnt.

Char-grilled.

God!

Come on, don't listen to her.

The chicken looked good.

ALICE [VOICEOVER]: I keep
thinking about this cartoon

I saw the other day of these two
guys talking,

and one says to the other, do
you

dwell on the wasted years behind
you or the terrifying years

ahead?

ALICE: What are they having
again?

One veal starter, one soup, two
lamb,

three chicken, one salmon.

Take-- take a little sip.

I'm tired.

I'll-- I'll do plates and
vegetables.

Get the chicken.

OK?

OK, OK, OK.

OK.

OK.

[CRYING]

Um, sorry, you OK?

What's up, chef?

Abi.

What?

I think hysteria is a fairly
reasonable reaction

to working in this shit-hole.

What's happening?

[CRYING] I'm sorry.

I'll be OK in a moment.

Did you burn yourself again?

What would you care if she
burned herself?

You care more about the rubbish.

I quite simply reject your
anger, Rita.

ABI: Yeah, stop trashing her,
Rita.

[LAUGHS]

My ex-agent described my book
as a saxophone solo on misery,

and said the publisher rejected
it because it was too French,

and they didn't know how they
could market it.

Too French.

I was born in fucking Crouch
End.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[LAUGHING]

Alice.

Have you got the miasma of
disgust?

[CRYING]

OLD MAN: I am fond of the oboe,
although I

prefer the violin, which I do
play, as does Cecile.

And Georg?

Georg is a percussionist.

The triangle so unexplored as
an instrument, don't you think?

Oh, you couldn't be more right.

But if I could have a word?

That other waitress is just so
rude.

I know you say--

I do apologize.

OLD MAN: Yes, she is very rude.

She, um--

She actually has personal issues
to deal with at the moment.

Her mother is terminally ill, so
she's

returning to Quebec tomorrow.

ABI: There you go.

Thanks.

This is actually her last
shift.

I'll just go and check on your
order in the kitchen, OK?

I'll get you an ashtray.

Do you think this fish looks
OK?

Looks great.

You sure?

Yeah.

Are the lights really low out
front?

Pretty low.

Suzie, God damn it.

She didn't even take the food.

Oh, please.

Don't cry.

It will be OK.

I'm not going to cry.

I'm going to commit murder.

Pick this food up now or I will
bludgeon you all to death.

That's the spirit.

Excuse me, could you please not
do that?

We have to sweep it up, and
these floorboards

are like a billion years old.

OLD MAN: Goodness, my dear young
lady!

We are sorry about your mother,
but no need

to take it out on us.

My mother?

In Quebec.

A tragedy.

What?

OLD WOMAN: Your colleague told
us about your mother in Quebec.

My mother is fine.

And I am not Canadian!

That was a direct sabotage on
any chance

I might have with Danny!

You know, this was earlier when
I was trying to deal

with those clients, Abi.

My mother has a terminal
illness?

And by the way, I can not stand
the way you keep using

the word excellent tonight.

What's wrong with the word
excellent?

Will you please take these
meals?

You have never said the word
excellent before tonight,

admit it!

You are insane!

SUZIE: [WHISPERED] Abi.

Abi, Abi, Abi!

It does sound odd from your
lips, I must agree.

Can I have two lemon tarts,
please.

Table six.

SUZIE: [WHISPERED] Abi.

Abi, come quickly!

You don't need an acting job,
Abi.

You never stop performing.

Oh, well I better call equity
then, because life

ain't paying me right.

Excellent!

OK.

Let's get the desserts done.

OK, OK.

You are a champion.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

They left just as he arrived.

He looked kind of sad and
thoughtful.

I kept buzzing you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

What are you doing?

Abi.

[CLINKING]

ABI: I just wanted to tell you
all, it's my birthday today.

I'm 25.

Get dressed.

I guess none of you know that I
trained as an actor--

[WHISPERING] Alice, Rita, come
out front.

Now.

--for three years in New York.

But those creative giddy Lee
Strasberg

days are but a distant memory.

Now, I can't even afford my
flight home.

Please get dressed.

I have a huge debt.

Get.

Dressed.

I've just had my electricity
disconnected.

Please.

My Visa bill is at 17.9%
interest.

I have been a waitress for about
10 years now,

and the only job that I have
been offered recently

is in porn.

[WHISTLES]

So what I really wanted to ask
you

all is if anyone has any tips on
how I might change my life,

I would really appreciate
hearing them.

Perhaps you didn't hear me.

But as one miserably failed
human being

to a bunch of probably
enormously successful ones,

which you must be if you can
afford

to eat in this overpriced,
rat-infested shit hole,

I'm merely asking what the fuck
am I meant to do with my life?

Just keep walking.

I am so sorry.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Thank you very much.

So sorry.

I've never seen anything like
that.

Major muff.

I have no fucking power.

Oh, you do.

You're like Carrie.

You know what you should do
tomorrow?

What?

You should go to the museum and
look at really old things.

It could put everything in
perspective.

What, so that I can fully
realize

how totally insignificant I am
in the grand scheme of things?

Exactly.

You're such a fucking victim,
Abi.

Alice.

Here's your bonus.

Thanks again.

All things considered, you were
great.

You'll all be pleased to know
that

thanks to Abi's performance
tonight,

we've made about 10 pounds in
tips in total.

You are so anguished and
artistic,

but all you're really good at is
complaining.

Wow, you think I'm good at
something!

Do you know, Abi, you've never
been anything but rude to me.

Have you ever asked me about the
dreams

and hopes of my life journey?

Hmm?

Do you even know my girlfriend's
name,

or whether she still is my
girlf--

do I have sisters?

Was I beaten as a child?

I am 23 today.

No, you are fired!

Sorry to interrupt.

Ladies.

I had some friends here earlier.

One of them lost a libretto.

I don't suppose you've seen it?

Anyone seen a libretto?

No, sorry.

No?

What a shame.

ABI [VOICEOVER]: What the hell
is going on here?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Al Bowlly.

You know Al Bowlly?

Yes, of course.

Wrote hits, died in the blitz.

Whether to forty, a husband and
wife, whether to fifty,

a Darby and Joan.

There's one thing certain that
you have to own.

[SINGING] Love is the sweetest
thing.

What else on Earth could ever
bring

such happiness to everything?

As love's old story.

Love is the strangest thing.

No song of birds upon the wing.

Shall in our hearts more sweetly
sing, than love's old story.

Whatever heart may desire,
whatever fate may send,

this is a tale that never will
tire,

this is a song without end!

Love is the greatest thing.

The oldest, yet the latest
thing.

I only hope that fate may bring
love's story to you.

Yes, and you, my dear.

And you.

[MUSIC FADES OUT]

They're fresh.

MADONNA: [SOBBING]

Are you OK?

I'm fine.

[SOBS]

I-- I really hate this--

job.

Let's go.

So you're really going to
Chile?

Correct.

And this doesn't terrify you?

Of course it does.

It fills me with fear and dread.

So, remind me why it's worth it
again.

Because fear and dread mingled
with an overwhelming memory

of intense sexual compatibility
is more appealing to me now

in this moment of time than the
crushing predictability

of everyday life.

OK.

Sounds like a plan.

No, I really think maybe we
should go somewhere and--

and have a beautiful drink like
a Bellini.

Oh-- oh, I don't know.

Why are you saying all the time
I don't know?

You know, I don't know.

They serve Bellinis at the Cafe
de Paris.

Cafe de Paris it is, then.

We can tidy up tomorrow.

Alice, Rita, you coming?

You're paying?

Nope.

Oops.

Maybe we should all go dancing.

ALICE: What's a Bellini?

SUZIE: Champagne and peach
juice.

Named after a painter in Venice.

He painted beautiful clouds.

All kinds of colors.

Yellow, red, purple, rose.

So beautiful.

ALICE: Is everyone invited?

SUZIE: If they keep their
clothes on.

So, Madonna.

You got any sisters?

I do, actually.

Two.

[MUSIC PLAYING]