All language subtitles for 05 - Spring Fever_eng

(Siegfried) Goodbye, Mrs Stubbs.
Thank you, Mr Stubbs. It'll keep us going.

(Siegfried) Spring, James.

Such comfort.

"As do lusty young men feel

when well-apparel'd April on the heel
of limping winter treads."

"Even such delight
among fresh female buds

shall you this night
inherit at my house."

Hey, hey, hey.
That's Mrs Donovan, isn't it?

- Oh, surely not.
- Yeah.

- She hasn't got that old dog with her.
- Roy? He died several months back.

He was 16, you know.

- Was he really?
- Mm.

It seems like only yesterday

that the RSPCA man found him
as a starving puppy in that shed.

Within a hair's breadth of being put down,
if she hadn't taken him in.

You're absolutely right, James.
It is her. What the hell's she giving them?

Heaven only knows.
Poor old thing. I bet she misses Roy.

She needs to get another dog.

As you know, James, I don't always share
your obsession with fireside animals.

A healthy early-morning gallop
over the Dales…

Her sitting room's
a bit small for a horse, Siegfried.

I realise that.
James, it's the principle of the thing.

You're forever wanting people
to get themselves pets,

and what they really need is a…

Hello, Mrs Donovan.
How are you?

My dear Mrs Donovan,
I am so sorry to hear about your dog.

I do miss him, Mr Farnon.

Well, I'm sure you do. The loss of
a dear companion after so many years.

You should get yourself a sharp
little pony. Take it exercising over the…

Or perhaps…
perhaps another dog.

That's what you need.

There's nothing like the bond between a
dog and its owner, don't you agree? Hm?

Besides, there are…
plenty of pitiful strays around here

who'd respond happily
to your inimitable care, Mrs Donovan.

No, Mr Farnon.
I'm getting too old to take on a new dog.

No. Roy was definitely me last.

Time I concentrated on
t'other animals about.

But I did make a difference
to that dog, didn't I?

You did, Mrs Donovan.
You gave him a lifetime of happiness.

No one could have done more.

Well, I must be getting on.

That's it.
Keep up the good work.

- Bye, Mrs Donovan.
- Goodbye.

There's gonna be more problems,
Siegfried. Her and her potions.

Ah, well, she needs a new dog, James.
I can't think why you didn't back me up.

Yes. Yes, remiss of me that,
wasn't it?

- Yes, er…
- (mews)

- You're hurting him, Mr Farnon.
- I'm keeping his claws out of harm's way.

Yes. It's a nasty wound he's got there.

I think we should put him
on some chloramphenicol.

- Chloramphenicol?
- It's a broad-spectrum antibiotic.

One we can give orally.
Could you, er…?

Antibiotics.
Ooh, I don't know about that.

It really would be best. Otherwise
the infection might get into his system.

Then we'd have
a very sick Marmaduke indeed.

- You wouldn't want that, would you?
- Of course not, but it does seem drastic.

What about dandelion-and-burdock tea?

Dandelion-and-burdock tea?

Oh, aye. Mrs Donovan says it would be
just the thing for Marmaduke.

Ah, yes.
Mrs Donovan.

Well, to be honest,

I think that, erm, Marmaduke
would prefer a nice bowl of milk.

But…

And these will see him right.
He needs one twice a day for a week.

- Are you sure?
- I'm quite sure.

- (phone rings)
- It would seem our housekeeper is out.

Now, just slip them straight down
his throat, coated in butter if necessary.

But antibiotics, Mr Farnon.
You know Marmaduke is delicate.

He'll be fine. If he's not better by Friday,
you bring him back.

(ringing continues)

Yes, all right, all right.
I've only got one pair of hands.

(sighs)

- (hums tune)
- Yes?

Tristy!

Stinjy!

What on earth are you doing here?

I was just passing through
on my way to St Andrews

when the old jalopy died on me,
so I thought:

"Why not spend
a few days with Tristy?"

Why not indeed?
Do you mean actually, erm, stay here?

Don't worry about it.
You know me.

I don't mind
slumming it for a few days.

- Good old Stinjy.
- Is there a problem?

No. Well, you know what Siegfried's like.

Oh. Still loves me like poison,
I suppose.

No, no. After all,
he hasn't seen you for 15 years.

But a touch difficult
about friends leading you astray?

Yes, well, he has his moments.

You're not still under
big brother's thumb?

Don't be ridiculous. You go upstairs
and unpack while I finish surgery.

You know me, Tristy.
I'll be as quiet as a mouse.

No one will even know that I'm here.
Oh. Any chance of a bath, dear boy?

Yes, yes. Of course.
Just… just make yourself at home.

- Good morning, Siegfried.
- Is it?

Where the devil is the blessed thing?

- What?
- My auriscope.

Some idiot's hidden it.

Why don't you try looking where you
normally put it? Second drawer down.

Ah! There it is.
Well, there you are, Tristan.

If you put something back
where it's supposed to be…

I see you've breezed through
your surgery, as usual.

I've had a terrible morning. Mrs Donovan
has started nobbling our patients again.

A little more charity in that direction,
if you please, Tristan. She's lost her dog.

I've been fighting with every client.
Someone should talk to her.

You make too much of it. She's just a
warm-hearted woman who loves animals.

Pity she doesn't
feel the same about vets.

No cause to make an enemy of her.

Her potions are harmless,
so utilise her, channel her energies.

- On that subject, what about yours?
- What do you mean?

It's high time you were
out and about on your rounds, isn't it?

Do I hear a bath running?

Er, yes. I thought
I'd have a quick dip before my visits.

Great heavens.
Well, make sure it doesn't run over.

It's… it's your surgery tonight, isn't it?

- Yes. Why?
- I tell you what, I'll do it.

- What?
- It's only fair.

I mean,
I finish so early and you're so busy.

Oh. Thank you, Tristan.
That's very generous of you.

But you can afford to be generous if you
spend half your working day in a bath.

It's just a bit…
tender and swollen back here.

A touch of mastitis.
I'm going to give her a shot of penicillin.

I'm pleased to see you got the electric
laid on since I was last up here.

Oh, aye, Mr Farnon.
Nowt's too good for Daisy.

I think the world of that old sow.

Right, then.

It's all right, Daisy.
There. Good girl.

There we go.
That should set her up.

Keep an eye on her,
won't you?

Oh, aye.
I will that.

- Working late?
- Uh-huh.

I thought I'd catch up on all this.

Good idea.

- What about old Siegfried, eh?
- What about old Siegfried?

He's been in a bit of a foul mood lately,
hasn't he?

I was with him all morning.
He was fine.

I think it's a bit much
the way he's been treating me.

Anyone would think
I was just a lazy layabout.

Shouldn't you have started surgery?

I'm just drawing breath,
that's all.

It really is too much, Mr Tristan,
it's too much!

Leaving the bathroom like a pigsty.
Wet towels all over the place.

And talcum powder in the bath.
Whatever next?

Surely one bath a week's
enough for anyone.

- Talcum powder.
- Well, erm…

- It's not quite your style, is it?
- No.

I just happen to have someone staying,
a college chum.

Oh, that's good.
Anyone I know?

I doubt you'd remember him.
Back to the grindstone.

- Don't forget to tell Mrs Alton.
- All in the fullness of time.

And Siegfried.

Yes, well, Siegfried could be a bit tricky,
actually, James.

Oh, God. It's not… what did Siegfried
used to call him? Prince Monolulu?

Yes, it is St John. And it's nothing
whatsoever to do with Siegfried.

What are you talking about? He's a red rag
to a bull where Siegfried's concerned.

James, bulls cannot
discriminate colours.

The retinae of bulls
are not sensitive to primary colours.

You amaze me. The way you and St John
whiled away your college days,

and you've learned so much
about the mammalian eye.

- James.
- Get back to work, Tris.

Get rid of St John
before Siegfried finds out.

Yes. Don't worry.
It's only for a few days.

No one will ever know.

(sighs)

James! How divine.

St John.

- Care for a snifter before supper?
- No, thanks. I'm still working.

Oh, dear.
Poor old you.

- Well… Have you seen Tristy?
- Tristy is still working, too, actually.

Dear, dear, dear. Siegfried really does
have the whip out, doesn't he?

Never mind.
I'll catch up with him later.

Probably won't be back
until the small hours.

- You've found the local poker school?
- Mm. Care to invest a few bob?

No, thanks.

Oh, well.

Dear, dear.

I must dress.
Toodle-pip.

Toodle-pip.

All right.
Who's first?

Oh. Good evening.
I don't believe we've met before.

No. Er, I'm Miss Brocklehurst.
I've just moved to Darrowby.

I'm Tristan Farnon, one of the partners.
Come through, come through.

And, er, what have we here?

- Oh. How interesting.
- I need your advice, Mr Farnon.

Well, that's what I'm here for.

What seems to be the problem?

Please, erm, it is clean.

Thank you.

I feel so silly…
getting upset over a tortoise,

but you get so attached.

Of course.
And so you should.

Tortoises are very lovable creatures.

What makes you think it's unwell?

Well, whenever I talk…
its head usually pops out,

but… now there's no response at all.

It just sits there.

What's wrong, Mr Farnon?

Erm, come over here
and sit down for a moment.

You will excuse me. A cat I operated on
earlier, l… I just have to check it.

Erm, l… I won't be a moment.

I wouldn't like the poor thing to come
round from the anaesthetic unattended.

Oh, no. Please.
You must go at once.

James. Quick.
What do you know about tortoises?

Tortoises. Reptiles. Very ancient order of.
Uncommonly known as Chelonia.

- That's helpful.
- What do you want to know?

About illnesses.
What do you think I want to know?

- Their racing form?
- James, she is very anxious.

I remember. Textbooks say they are often
owned by attractive, gullible females.

- James.
- I'm sorry. What's wrong with it?

If I knew that
I wouldn't be here, would I?

I'm not an expert on tortoises.
I bet there isn't a vet in Britain who is.

- God. Maybe there's something in these.
- In the Record?

Look, you take the history while I look.

- Take over a consultancy?
- James…

Tristan, I was hoping to get this finished.

We wouldn't want her to think we're not
interested because it's not a farm animal.

Oh, and James, the owner's very upset,
so ooze confidence.

Speaking of which, your invisible friend
says not to expect him till the early hours.

Oh, him. I've got more important things
on my mind.

Ah, the joys of true love.

Again.

What seems to be the problem?

I don't think she was ready
to come out of hibernation.

Yes, that could well be the case.

Is she eating?

- Did you find what you wanted?
- No.

Hm. It does feel a bit light.

Erm, you mentioned
you'd recently moved here.

Yes.

Well, that has obviously,
erm, disturbed your tortoise

and, er, woken it
out of its hibernation.

I'll give it a vitamin injection.

This should perk its appetite up.

- Goodbye.
- We will require assistance, thank you.

What? Excuse me.

- Could you, er…?
- Could I what?

A leg, James.
You know, leg.

Which particular leg
did you have in mind?

Doesn't seem too keen
to show a leg, Tris.

Erm, here. Let me…

Well done, well done. Good.

Now, it's used up
practically all of its food stores,

so it's important
not to let it slip back into hibernation.

Also, it's imperative
that you keep it warm.

- Night air can be rather dangerous for it.
- Extremely dangerous.

If you wouldn't mind finishing up for me
here, while I pop them both back.

- How could I refuse?
- All right.

- Thank you very much.
- Ah. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Oh. You're back early.

Yes. I found myself
a bit short of the old readies.

I don't suppose you could, erm…?

I don't suppose
I need to ask what this is for.

One earns a living
using whatever skills one has.

What skills? As I recall,
you used to mark the deck.

- There we are.
- Is that all?

What do you expect?
I'm a vet, I'm not a banker.

Better than nothing, I suppose.
You fancy coming with me?

You're not going back there, surely?

Lady luck isn't smiling your way.

It's tactics, dear boy, tactics.

You let them think you're a loser, then
when their defences are down, whammo!

Yes. Well, you can count me out.

- Tortoises?
- Yes, I've got one that's off its food.

- You don't know about them?
- Oh, rather.

- Really?
- Yes.

Shiny little cowpats
with legs at each corner.

- Still not responding, Mr Farnon.
- Well, you mustn't worry.

It can take them
some time to get going

once their, er,
hibernation's been disturbed.

I'd still appreciate it
if you could have another look.

The advice you gave yesterday
was so, erm, expert.

Oh.

You can't realise
what a treat this is for me.

In fact, tortoises
are a special interest of mine.

Wonderful.

Unfortunately, this practice doesn't
give me much chance to pursue it.

Miss Brocklehurst
sounds so formal.

Oh, please.
Do call me Rosemary.

- And I'm Tristan.
- (barking)

You see, sometimes a mucus forms
and it seals the mouth,

so… try washing
around the mouth in, er, in water,

erm, or maybe even,
erm, some milk.

Hadn't you better see to that dog, Tristan?
It sounds as though it's in agony.

It's Sam. He always makes that racket
when he comes in.

Yes, but how can you be sure?
Maybe he's had an accident.

Yes, I'll just have a look just in case.

- Morning, Mr Carter.
- Hello, Mr Farnon.

- I thought it was Sam.
- Aye.

Not very pleased to see me, are you?

Yes, well, I'll, erm… Yes.

- It's nothing to worry about.
- Nothing?

No, it's just that he remembers
it was me who…

Erm…

Yes.

Well, perhaps
if you gave him something to eat…

That's exactly
what I was about to suggest.

Won't be a moment.

You leave those be, Mr Tristan.
They're still hot - bad for the digestion.

- Just a bit peckish, Mrs A.
- There should be some in the larder.

Where all the food's gone
the past day is beyond me.

No sooner do I finish one lot of baking
than the tin's empty.

Can't be Mr Farnon. He's not back from
his rounds yet, and neither's Mr Herriot.

I don't know.
Always dropping things.

If it's not the bathroom,
it's the larder.

Patient's waiting.

I suppose you think I've got nothing better
to do than pick up after you all day.

- This should cheer him up.
- Oh, yes. A bit of bribery usually works.

Look what uncle's got for you.

Yes, well, er,
that didn't really do much good.

He certainly harbours a grudge.
Nearly took my hand off.

Oh, Tristan, that must hurt.

Well, not much.

It's all my fault.
Perhaps I should bathe it for you?

No, no.
Really, it's nothing.

And you mustn't feel guilty.
It's all in a day's work for a vet.

Well, I mustn't take up
any more of your time.

I can't tell you how grateful I am for the
opportunity of examining your tortoise.

I think it might be an idea to perform
an examination in the home environment.

- Have you the time to spare?
- Well, this is strictly confidential.

I won't tell a soul.

But I'm preparing a paper for the
Royal Veterinary Society on tortoises

and I need some data
about their domestic situations.

If I could be of any assistance…
You've been so kind to us.

Would this evening be convenient?

You're very busy.

You know me, Mr Herriot.
I'm not the one to grumble.

No.

I don't know where it all comes from.
I think we must be taking in washing.

Just look at this.
Another new one. Would you credit it?

More suited to goings-on in London,
if you ask me.

- Would you like a cup, Mrs Alton?
- I haven't time for tea, Mr Herriot.

Ah, tea.
Thank you very much, James.

Any more orders while I'm here?

Ah, well, if you insist.

Mrs Alton doesn't take sugar, Tris.

Here we are.
One nice hot cup of tea.

Thank you.

New shirt, Tris? Mrs Alton was saying she
hasn't clapped eyes on that one before.

- I was just about to explain, actually.
- Oh, really?

My dear lady.

How can I ever thank you
for all your hospitality?

You never told me
you had someone staying.

You didn't tell this delightful lady
there was an extra mouth to feed?

Well, l, erm…

Tristan has been very, erm…
preoccupied, haven't you?

My dear lady, I am mortified
to think that my staying here

may in any way
have inconvenienced you.

Not in the least.

Yes, you see, St John just turned up
on the doorstep late last night -

well, very late - and he's leaving
this morning, aren't you?

Well, it's very thoughtful of you.
I love flowers.

Are you working in Darrowby?

Oh, yes. You didn't actually mention
why you were here, St John.

I'm not allowed to divulge
the nature of my work.

Oh. For the government,
I suppose.

Got it in one, Mrs Alton.

Something along the lines
of the South Sea Bubble, isn't it?

I'll say goodbye.
You won't be here when I get back.

Actually, I thought I might stay for lunch,
if it's not too much trouble.

No, it's no trouble at all.
I've got a nice piece of steak.

I'm sure Mr Tristan won't mind
making do with a cheese sandwich.

You know, Tris,
you'll get your just deserts in heaven.

After all, we must all do whatever we can
to help the government.

What do you think, Mr Farnon?
She's no better, is she?

Yes, she's not as good
as I'd have expected.

I'd like to try a different antibiotic.

I thought she weren't
looking too good.

"Best get Mr Farnon back," I thought.

I were told you were nearby.
I thought you wouldn't mind popping in.

No, not all.

I were that worried when I noticed
her back end were all oozing pus.

You did absolutely right, Mr Carter.

You see, she's developed metritis.
That's inflammation of the womb.

The two conditions often go together.

This should clear it up for her.

Ah. I say, you're looking very smart.
Are you out for the evening?

No, just off to see a patient.

- Emergency?
- No, no. Routine call.

That's very conscientious
at this time of day.

Well, one does one's best to live up to
the responsibilities of being a partner.

Highly commendable, Tristan.

Oh, I say. Look at that.
Isn't Mrs Alton wonderful?

Now then,
don't you rush back.

If you're not here by the end of surgery,
I'll hold the fort.

Thanks, Siegfried.
Erm, no. Actually, I do have to be back.

- My friend's coming round.
- Oh, really? Anyone I know?

Er, no.
Well, not actually a friend.

Someone from college.
Clinical pathologist.

Clinical pathologist. Now, that is
just the sort of fellow I need to see.

Have a word with him about Carter's pigs.
What a slice of luck!

Tristan.
How kind of you to call.

Oh, it's my pleasure entirely.

Oh, your poor hand.
You must be in agony.

Oh, it only needed
a… few stitches. After you.

(coos)

I, er, brought these for, er…

Er, for him.

It's not a him, it's a her.

Yes. Esmeralda.

Can't you tell t'difference between boy
tortoises and girl tortoises, Mr Farnon?

Of course I know the difference between
boy… male and female tortoises,

it was just a manner of speaking.

Mrs Donovan's very kindly offered
to look after Esmeralda

- so she isn't lonely while I'm at work.
- Exactly my feeling.

Until Esmeralda
regains her appetite,

it'd be best
to keep her at the surgery.

Nay.

She needs 24-hour observation
by a qualified veterinary surgeon.

- If you think it's the right thing…
- No question about it.

Rubbish.
What Esmeralda needs is company.

She needs to be talked to.
Constantly.

Now, come on, be a good girl
and eat your dinny winny

so that mummy wummy
will think I'm wonderful.

Now, where was I?

Yes.

So, the beautiful princess
kissed the ugly frog

and he turned into
a handsome prince,

and they lived happily ever after.

What on earth are you doing?

It's, erm, a tortoise. Esmeralda.
She needs, erm, talking to.

Have you completely
taken leave of your sen…?

A tortoise. Yeah.

Oh, I can see that it… it might…
it might, er, need talking to.

It's curious. I don't recall
anybody local owning a tortoise.

- Whose is it?
- Brocklehurst's.

Brocklehurst. Brocklehurst.
Can't put a face to that name.

New. Just moved here.

Oh. Miss Brocklehurst?

Admirable as it is your giving so much
of your valuable time to this creature,

do bear in mind the importance of
professional detachment.

Never allow yourself to become
overinvolved with a… a patient.

There's only so much a vet can do,
you know?

Tell me,
what time is your friend arriving?

- Friend?
- From college. The pathologist.

Oh, he can't make it.
He left a note.

A note?

Oh, what a pity.

Well, that's a hell of a shame.

Anyway, Tristan, face up to it.

Tortoises do not thrive in our climate,
especially in the North.

Chances are that Esmeralda
will be dead in the morning.

Did you hear that?

Oh, you beauty!

Mwah!

Got St Vitus' dance, Tristy?

- Did Siegfried see you?
- Is he about? I'll say hello.

No. If he sees you,
you're out on your ear.

Well, I wouldn't want that. Not when
you've made me so very comfortable.

- Good night, Tristan!
- Good night, Siegfried!

Tristan, listen.

Er, I wouldn't mind
a second opinion on Carter's pig…

Er… Oh.
Your friend arrived after all.

I'm so sorry.
I didn't hear you get here.

How are you?
Siegfried. Delighted to meet you.

I understand you were at college
with my brother. Have we met?

- Oh, I don't think so.
- Hey, l… I… I want to pick your brains.

Erm, no, Siegfried.
This isn't him.

No?

No. This is a friend of Miss Brocklehurst's
come to see about the tortoise.

Oh. Oh, I see.

Oh. I feel sure that, er,
I've seen you somewhere before.

It must have been around Darrowby.

Well, I'm quite certain the tortoise
will respond to my brother's ministrations.

(stilted Yorkshire accent) Aye.
I've every confidence in 'im.

Oh, well, I wish you both
a very good evening.

(whistles)

Now, look here, Stinjy,
it's time you went.

- Would that I could, old boy.
- Why not?

- You remember the old jalopy?
- Oh, no. It's not the big end?

Afraid not.
Lost it in a poker game.

- You lost a car in a poker game?
- Now, listen, don't worry.

I've got a tip for the gee-gees tomorrow.
It's a dead cert at 100/1 .

- All I'd need is a little bit of stake money.
- (sighs)

- I don't suppose that you can…?
- Yes, yes.

If it's the only way
of getting rid of you.

Now, here. That's your lot.
You'll just have to push off.

Where would I go,
Tristy, dear friend?

That, dear friend,
is your headache.

Tonight?
Out into the cold?

Well, all right.
But first thing in the morning.

Stay out of Siegfried's way.
I'll bring your breakfast up.

Anything you say, old boy.
You know, Stinjy never was any trouble.

Good heavens.

I'm not having anything like that
in my kitchen.

(Siegfried) Brr!

Hello, Mrs Alton.
It's hard to believe it's spring.

My word, that's the stuff
to set a man up on a day like this -

sausages, bacon, egg,
fried bread. My word.

- Should I do some for you?
- No, no, Mrs Alton. Thank you very much.

I've already had my breakfast.
Seems like hours ago.

Oh, hello, my dear boy.

Did, er, Esmeralda give you
a disturbed night?

Things are really looking up. I've got her
eating out of the palm of my hand.

She's very affectionate.

Oh, well, Tristan,
you always did have a way with the ladies.

- I think I'm home and dry with her.
- That's wonderful news.

Have we got any lettuce, Mrs A?

- Lettuce? Whatever for?
- Esmeralda's breakfast.

Now you've gone too far.

I will not stay in a house of ill repute.

My dear Mrs Alton,
whatever's the matter?

I'm a respectable widow, Mr Farnon.
I have my reputation to think of.

- I'd accept extra work for the government.
- Government?

But now a woman
has spent the night in this house

and her seducer has the effrontery

to come into my kitchen
and order her breakfast.

And lettuce?
Whoever heard of such a thing?

But my dear Mrs Alton,
Esmeralda is a tortoise.

Well, how was I to know?

Mrs Alton, where is she?

Outside. Where it belongs.

It's unhygienic
to have that in the kitchen.

Oh, no!

She's retracted.

You don't want to pay too much attention
to them, especially that young Mr Farnon.

He means well, I suppose,
but no experience.

Morning.

Pull yourself together.
There are other clients out there.

Don't forget, you and I
are going out to Carter's at noon.

I need a second opinion,
even if it is yours.

Concentrating on intensive care, are we?
Clients will be pleased.

Oh, yes. Another of your clients
wants to see you.

Mr Carter.

What on earth's Carter doing here?
We're going to see him at noon.

- I didn't know that yesterday, and Sam…
- Oh. Sam, is it?

I thought it was more psychological
and James could deal with it better than l.

This particular client
insists on seeing you.

- It is your surgery, James.
- Oh, come on, Tristan, buck up!

If Carter wants to see you,
then you it is. Off you go.

It's not Carter,
it's Mrs Donovan.

- Mrs Donovan?
- Yes.

She's come to give Tristan
a second opinion on Esmeralda.

This we must see.

Mrs Donovan?

I'm not satisfied with the treatment
Esmeralda's getting.

Not satisfied? I was up
half the night talking to her.

- Half the night.
- Talking's not enough, Mr Farnon.

It's the aura.
The aura's not right here.

Tortoises are very sensitive creatures.
The wrong aura disturbs their systems.

Your aura, Mr Farnon,
it's not right.

It's all black and gloomy.

Do you know, I believe you've
put your finger absolutely on it.

Young Mr Farnon's disposition
would drive the devil away.

Not drive away, Mr Farnon.

Invites t'devil in
does a black aura.

Oh, my God.

You'll have to change your aura,
Mr Farnon.

Right.

Think… beautiful… thoughts.

Go on.

Beautiful thoughts.

Thank you. I'll bear it in mind.
But we're rather busy.

(moans)

Must be the aura gettin' to me.

I'm sensitive to the aura, you see?

- Aye. Mr Herriot.
- No, thanks, Mrs Donovan.

Ah, now then.
Ah, there it is.

Oh. Will you be in for lunch,
Mr Farnon?

No, no, no, Mrs Alton.
No time for lunch today.

Could I pack you something up, then?

- Well, that pie does look very tempting.
- Something else to go with it?

- Is that wensleydale?
- It is.

- Fresh?
- Certainly.

Oh.

You might bamboozle humans with your
fancy talk, but you can't fool the animals.

They know when
you don't know what's wrong.

- I am not bamboozling you.
- (barking)

Oh, no.

Beautiful thoughts, Tris.

Beautiful thoughts.

Now here, Mrs Donovan, is a case that
I desperately need your expertise on.

Oh?

Er, Mr Carter,
this is Mrs Donovan.

- Oh, aye?
- Mr Morton, you're next.

She's an expert on cases like this.
She really understands dogs.

- Oh. Do you know owt about pigs?
- Aye. Don't fret.

- (James) What's Lady done to herself?
- Her leg's broke.

Thank God for that. Come on, Lady, on
the table. There's a good girl. Up we go.

There's a good dog.
It's all right, darling.

- No, the problem isn't here.
- It is.

No.

Aha.

Here's the problem, Mr Morton.
She's sprained her shoulder.

Nay. Her leg's broke, Mr Herriot.
Probably kicked by a cow.

No. It's a sprained shoulder.
Probably running away from cows.

Her leg's broke, Mr Herriot.
Mrs Donovan says so.

- I assure you, her leg is not broken.
- Mrs Donovan is expert on dogs.

Mr Farnon said so, didn't you?

Any chance of a bite of brekkies
for poor old Stinjy?

Out.

It's a right madhouse in here.

You need to keep her off this leg for a few
days, Mr Morton. And away from cows.

She needs putting in plaster.

- I'm getting it. Just stay up there.
- (Siegfried) What?

- What?
- What did you say?

Erm, yes, I know. I took your advice.
You know, "channel the energies".

I matched Mrs Donovan with Sam.
That should keep her quiet for a bit.

Splendid, splendid.
There you are, Tristan.

Let that be a lesson to you.
Make a virtue of necessity.

And kill two birds with one stone.

- Er, Mrs Alton.
- I'll have my breakfast now, Mrs A.

You'll not.
Mr Farnon's eaten it.

Siegfried?

I wasn't going to let it get cold.
You were in your bath.

- Isn't there any more?
- Tempus fugit, Tristan.

Mrs Alton's about her work, so should
you be. I'm coming to collect you at noon.

I suppose you might manage
to be properly dressed by then.

Thank you, Mrs Alton!

(sighs)

Well?

Ah. You go on ahead.

I'd value your objective opinion
about that sow.

You wouldn't want Carter to get the
impression you have to be supervised.

She seems to be on t'mend, Mr Farnon.
But then again…

She's fine.
Really, Mr Carter. Now, the litter.

Oh, don't you worry about them.
Mrs Donovan's got them on t'bottle.

- Mm. Well, Mrs Donovan.
- Mr Farnon.

- Quite a task you've taken on here.
- I can cope, Mr Farnon. Don't you worry.

Watch what you're doing.

Mr Farnon knows I'm an expert.
He calls me in on all his difficult cases.

Oh, don't you worry,
Mr Farnon.

We all make mistakes.

(Music "Hallelujah" by Handel)

(hums along)

(music reaches crescendo)

Mrs Donovan's there.
You'll have to do something, Siegfried.

You've eaten lunch.

Nothing makes one hungrier
than singing.

But it was me that missed breakfast.

Well, my dear Tristan, if you will have
your little lie-ins, what do you expect?

(barking)

Is that Sam I can hear?

Yes. She's dealing with him now.
It won't distract her for long.

Tristan, Mrs Donovan
is not all that hard to deal with.

(barking stops)

There you are, you see?
She certainly has a knack with dogs.

There you are.

You take that.

Now, come on, come on, come on.
We'll go and deal with her.

What a view. Heaven on earth.
Come on, come on.

Music And he shall reign forever and ever!

Music Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

(hums "Funeral March" by Chopin)

There, there, me lovely.
Don't you excite yourself.

They don't mean you no harm.

Observe the hand of experience, Tristan.

There, there.

Mrs Donovan, well done.

You've performed
another of your miracles on Sam.

Aye. I have made a difference to that dog,
haven't l, Mr Farnon?

Indeed you have, Mrs Donovan.
You've a unique way with animals.

Unique.

Siegfried?

That's my lunch.

Regard it as a sacrificial lamb, Tristan.

Now then, Mr Carter,
how's your sow?

- Not too bad, Mr Farnon.
- Good.

Not too good, neither, mind.

I've already started them
on me special potion.

Well, that's just splendid,
Mrs Donovan.

Although I should have thought all they
needed was diluted cows' milk, as usual.

Oh, no. No, Mr Farnon.
I know what's best.

I'm sure she's right,
Mr Farnon.

Siegfried.

If you weren't so full of claret, you'd
realise they think you're endorsing her.

You've got to say something.

Oh, nonsense, Tristan.
This is the 1950s, not the Dark Ages.

This is the age of
science and technology.

Look around you.
Electricity in a piggery, infrared lamps.

Antibiotics available to even
the humblest of Her Majesty's subjects,

thanks to the National Health Service.

Who on earth is ever going to
believe in Mrs Donovan's witchcraft?

They are for a start.

Mrs Donovan, I greatly admire
your handling of these animals.

One cannot better a kind voice
and a calm hand, no question of that at all.

But as for this excellent lady's potions,

they are no more and no less
than pretty colourings and fragrances,

offering what we call
the "placebo effect".

They are quite harmless
and completely useless.

Now, what these piglets actually need
is ordinary supplement feeding

and for nature
to be allowed to take its course.

Useless, are they? These potions served
my mother and her mother before her.

I'm sure my brother did not
mean to insult you, Mrs Donovan.

I think what he was inferring is that what
is needed here is a controlled experiment.

What?

To assess scientifically
the merits of the treatments.

Wouldn't you say so, Siegfried?

So, shall we say that one half
of the piglets get the diluted milk,

as per Mr Farnon's advice,

while the other half… get the milk
with Mrs Donovan's potion added.

Thank you, Tristan.

You see,
he hasn't got anything to give 'em.

Well, it just so happens
that I have got another treatment.

Now, Mr Carter, I want you to ensure
that three drops of this liquid

is added to the milk of each piglet

that is not receiving
Mrs Donovan's potion.

- Is that quite clear?
- Aye.

And then we shall see which treatment
stands the test of science.

Oh, yes.
You're beautiful, aren't you?

She's out!
Helen, you're a miracle worker!

It's just one of my many talents.

Oh. A face that would
launch a thousand hearts.

- Oh. Hello, St John.
- God.

- I thought you'd gone.
- Not without saying farewell.

So, erm, where are you off to?

Oh, I've found another billet.
It's plain but comfortable.

No chance of my 12 quid back?

'Fraid not, old boy.
Lady luck has deserted me yet again.

- Her leg's a lot better, don't you think?
- Aye, I do.

I have to admit, Mr Morton,
it gave me grave cause for concern.

In case I'd made a mistake.

We all make 'em.
The important thing is to admit to them.

No need to apologise.

Nay, Mr Herriot.
We all make mistakes, as you say.

Yes, but what I meant was the, erm…

Anyway, I'm very glad she's better.

It is amazing how quickly animals
recover from such serious injuries.

- Aye. Bone-marrow jelly.
- Sorry?

That's the cure, all right.
Mrs Donovan's.

Oh, hello, Esmeralda.
She's looking up at me.

I'm sure she's very happy to be back
home with you, Rosemary… as I am.

You'll never guess what's happened.
I found a mate for Esmeralda.

- Oh.
- Come and meet him.

That is good news, Rosemary,
because, well, all of us need a mate.

Ahem.

- This is Maxie.
- Oh.

And this is Maxie's owner.

What on earth are you doing here?

You gave me the idea
in the first place.

You know each other?

- We're chums from veterinary college.
- You didn't tell me you were a vet.

- Perhaps because he never qualified.
- Oh.

No, no. I realised very early on
that these clumsy, masculine hands

weren't suited for the job of
ministering to delicate animals.

So I gave my place
to one more worthy.

Managed to get your old jalopy back,
despite your impecunious state.

The Lord giveth
and the Lord taketh away.

I didn't know you and the Lord
were on such good terms.

- Oh. Beautiful, aren't they?
- They're a present from Tristan.

Are they?
Are they really?

Yes…

Well, now that I've
returned Esmeralda to her old self,

I… I… really ought to be
getting back to my other patients.

I'll, erm, see myself out.

Oh, Tristan, thank you so much
for all your wonderful help.

Your hand.
It's better.

Y-yes. Yes.

Erm, it's a… a new wonder drug.

Cheerio.

Ow!

To think I was
nursing a viper to my bosom.

It's a very sobering lesson.
Choose your friends with care.

If Siegfried had found out
the fat would've been in the fire.

What?

How are you?

What fat's in what fire?

- Ah. Erm…
- Oh, er, James was just talking…

about, erm, Mrs Donovan
interfering with our patients.

Good heavens, Tristan.

Honestly, I'm surprised at you
pursuing such a childish vendetta.

It could be damaging.
Mr Morton was saying…

Oh, rubbish, James.

- She's absolutely harmless.
- You didn't seem to think so at Carter's.

It's a good job
I organised that experiment

to show up her potions
for what they really are.

What experiment?

One half of the piglets get Mrs Donovan's
potion and the other half get Siegfried's.

Oh, that's a good idea.
What was your potion?

- Distilled water, James.
- Which, of course, won't do anything.

Precisely so. So that when
both sets of piglets thrive equally well,

I shall use it as an example

to demonstrate
the total inefficacy of her ideas

to all the farmers
in the neighbourhood.

(laughs) And suppose her piglets
do better than yours?

My dear James, Mrs Donovan's potions
couldn't influence the wellbeing of a fly.

Now then, Mr Carter.
How are the piglets?

Oh, champion, Mr Farnon, champion.
They're fine. Couldn't be better.

See? All's well that ends well.

Mind you…

the ones you treated all died.