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00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,960
(train whistle blows)
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00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:11,471
ADULT SHELDON:
I’ve always loved trains.
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00:00:13,715 --> 00:00:15,960
In fact, if my career
4
00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,960
in theoretical physics hadn’t
worked out, my backup plan
5
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:21,643
was to become
a professional ticket taker.
6
00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:22,960
Or a hobo.
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00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,960
(train whistle blows)
8
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And when I figured out
that trains allowed me
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to prove Newton’s first law--
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an object in motion stays
in motion
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with the same speed
and in the same direction
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00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,480
unless acted upon
by an unbalanced force--
13
00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,822
I felt like Neil Armstrong
on the moon,
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00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,573
alone and happy.
15
00:00:48,573 --> 00:00:49,960
MARY:
Shelly, dinner’s ready!
16
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,352
♪ Be-bop-a-lula,
baby, what I say ♪
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00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:55,438
(giggles) I don’t care
how dimwitted you are.
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00:00:55,438 --> 00:00:58,672
Scientific principles
have to make you smile.
19
00:00:58,672 --> 00:01:00,960
Of course,
nobody I knew in East Texas
20
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,429
in 1989 cared
about Newtonian physics.
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00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:06,960
The only Newtons
they cared about
22
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,960
were Wayne and Fig.
23
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,468
MISSY: Sheldon, if
you don’t get in here,
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00:01:10,468 --> 00:01:12,234
I’m gonna lick
your toothbrush!
25
00:01:12,233 --> 00:01:13,077
Coming!
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00:01:13,077 --> 00:01:14,561
That’s my sister.
27
00:01:14,562 --> 00:01:15,921
And she’s done it before.
28
00:01:16,670 --> 00:01:17,709
♪ Do the walk of life ♪
29
00:01:18,637 --> 00:01:20,670
♪ Yeah, he do
the walk of life ♪
30
00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:22,445
The hell were you doing
out there?
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00:01:22,446 --> 00:01:23,865
George, language.
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00:01:23,865 --> 00:01:25,490
What language? So?
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00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:27,955
I was exploring
dimensional kinematics.
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00:01:27,956 --> 00:01:29,421
Admit it--
he’s adopted.
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00:01:29,421 --> 00:01:30,669
SHELDON:
How can I be adopted
36
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:32,334
when I have a twin sister?
37
00:01:32,335 --> 00:01:33,960
Think, monkey, think.
38
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:34,960
MARY:
That’s enough.
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00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:35,960
No one’s adopted.
40
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:36,960
I wish I was.
41
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:37,960
That can still be arranged.
42
00:01:38,937 --> 00:01:39,960
Now, let’s pray.
43
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,160
A moment, please.
44
00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:43,960
(sighs)
45
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:44,866
Leave him be.
46
00:01:44,866 --> 00:01:45,850
He can hold hands
47
00:01:45,851 --> 00:01:47,296
with his family.
It won’t kill him.
48
00:01:47,296 --> 00:01:47,960
We don’t know that.
49
00:01:48,835 --> 00:01:50,960
Georgie, did you wash
your hands before dinner?
50
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,413
Or even this week?
51
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,812
None of your business.
52
00:01:53,812 --> 00:01:54,960
Hence the mittens.
53
00:01:57,296 --> 00:01:58,398
Thank you, God, for this food
54
00:01:58,398 --> 00:02:00,960
we’re about to receive and for
the nourishment of our bodies,
55
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,006
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
56
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:03,960
ALL:
Amen.
57
00:02:06,304 --> 00:02:07,960
How come we ain’t got
no tater tots?
58
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,015
I made tater tots last night.
59
00:02:10,016 --> 00:02:12,571
GEORGE: I’d take tater tots
over mashed potaters any day.
60
00:02:12,571 --> 00:02:13,993
Just eat what I made you.
61
00:02:13,993 --> 00:02:15,618
Can we at least
have tater tots tomorrow?
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00:02:15,618 --> 00:02:17,665
ADULT SHELDON:
It was family dinners like this
63
00:02:17,665 --> 00:02:19,960
that led me to adopt
a mid-Atlantic accent.
64
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,961
Nobel Prize winners...
65
00:02:21,961 --> 00:02:24,359
(Southern accent):
ought not be orderin’ tater tots.
66
00:02:24,359 --> 00:02:26,625
Everybody excited
to start school Monday?
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00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:27,414
I am.
68
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:28,417
I guess so.
69
00:02:29,211 --> 00:02:30,633
MARY:
Georgie?
70
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,180
Freshman year,
that’s a big deal.
71
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:33,852
How can I be excited
when he’s gonna be
72
00:02:33,852 --> 00:02:35,415
in the same grade as me?
73
00:02:35,414 --> 00:02:36,852
SHELDON:
Don’t worry, Georgie,
I’m not planning
74
00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:39,204
on being in the ninth
grade for very long.
75
00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,586
All I know is he’s not in
the same grade as me anymore,
76
00:02:41,586 --> 00:02:42,891
and I’m thrilled.
77
00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:44,670
Good luck
with your finger painting.
78
00:02:44,670 --> 00:02:46,678
You’re gonna get your ass kicked
in high school.
79
00:02:46,678 --> 00:02:48,248
MARY:
Hey, language.
80
00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:49,725
I’m not going to be assaulted.
81
00:02:49,725 --> 00:02:51,772
High school is a haven
for higher learning.
82
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,163
Oh, dear God.
83
00:02:53,161 --> 00:02:54,905
Speaking of God,
who’s going to church
84
00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:55,780
with me tomorrow?
85
00:02:55,780 --> 00:02:58,421
I can't. I’m meeting
with the other coaches.
86
00:02:58,421 --> 00:02:59,601
You can’t meet after church?
87
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:01,225
No, Mary,
I can’t meet after church.
88
00:03:03,119 --> 00:03:04,343
Georgie?
89
00:03:04,343 --> 00:03:05,538
I got to study my playbook.
90
00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:10,960
I’ll go with you, Mom.
91
00:03:11,507 --> 00:03:12,491
MISSY:
Why are you going?
92
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:13,757
You don’t believe in God.
93
00:03:13,757 --> 00:03:15,820
No, but I believe in Mom.
94
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,554
I’ll take that. Missy?
95
00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:18,726
Can’t, Heather
asked me to...
96
00:03:18,726 --> 00:03:19,523
You’re goin’.
97
00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:20,960
Son of a bitch.
98
00:03:21,298 --> 00:03:22,032
Hey.
99
00:03:22,032 --> 00:03:22,532
Ow!
100
00:03:22,532 --> 00:03:23,460
(laughs)
101
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:26,287
MARY: Missy...
(gasps) Don’t you
102
00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:28,960
throw something at the
dinner table. George Jr.
103
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,506
ADULT SHELDON:
Jane Goodall had to go
to Africa to study apes.
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00:03:32,506 --> 00:03:33,381
MISSY:
Hey!
105
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,958
I just had to go to dinner.
106
00:03:36,006 --> 00:03:37,764
Never at the
dinner table!
107
00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:38,960
You knock that
off, George!
108
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,960
D-Do not retaliate!
109
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:44,960
♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪
110
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,128
♪ Marching as to war ♪
111
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:53,960
♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪
112
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:59,960
♪ Going on before ♪
113
00:04:00,804 --> 00:04:03,960
In Matthew nine, verse four,
Jesus said,
114
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,160
"Why would you entertain
evil thoughts in your hearts?"
115
00:04:08,826 --> 00:04:10,062
(quietly):
Do you have evil thoughts?
116
00:04:10,062 --> 00:04:11,021
Shh.
117
00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:12,960
I just don’t think
this part applies to me.
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00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,962
That’s fine.
Be quiet and listen.
119
00:04:15,954 --> 00:04:17,352
I’m only nine years old.
120
00:04:17,353 --> 00:04:18,960
Most evil doesn’t start
till puberty.
121
00:04:19,411 --> 00:04:19,960
(clears throat)
122
00:04:21,091 --> 00:04:21,670
Hello.
123
00:04:21,670 --> 00:04:23,960
Philippians 4:8,
124
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,341
"Finally, brothers,
whatever is..."
125
00:04:26,341 --> 00:04:27,849
Do you have
evil thoughts?
126
00:04:27,849 --> 00:04:29,302
I’m having one
right now.
127
00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,546
Really? What is it?
128
00:04:30,546 --> 00:04:33,335
When we get home, I’m gonna
kick your little balls.
129
00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:35,091
You can’t.
They haven’t descended yet.
130
00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:38,477
Mom?
131
00:04:38,477 --> 00:04:38,960
What?
132
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,018
When should I be expecting
my testicles?
133
00:04:41,018 --> 00:04:42,777
"...whatever is admirable..."
134
00:04:42,777 --> 00:04:44,837
What is wrong with him?
135
00:04:44,837 --> 00:04:46,785
Nothin’ is wrong with him.
136
00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:48,793
Now, turn around before
I knock your lights out.
137
00:04:48,793 --> 00:04:51,960
PASTOR: ...continually
on these things.
138
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,804
A good thought leads
to a good thing.
139
00:04:54,804 --> 00:04:56,882
You feel it in your body.
You feel it in your...
140
00:04:56,882 --> 00:04:59,171
ADULT SHELDON:
My mom was my Christian soldier.
141
00:04:59,171 --> 00:05:01,757
...leads to evil things
and sits there and...
142
00:05:01,757 --> 00:05:04,452
And for the record,
they descended when I was 15.
143
00:05:08,165 --> 00:05:10,976
Synced and corrected
by matheus179
144
00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:12,054
(whirring)
145
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:14,054
(music)
146
00:05:18,148 --> 00:05:21,226
Shelly, it’s your last day
of summer. Go out and enjoy it.
147
00:05:21,226 --> 00:05:23,199
But I have to learn
the student handbook.
148
00:05:23,571 --> 00:05:25,571
Ooh, did you know
extreme hairstyles,
149
00:05:25,571 --> 00:05:27,829
goatees and mustaches
are not allowed?
150
00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:28,852
I didn’t.
151
00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:30,797
I personally find
that very reassuring.
152
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:32,522
Look what a beautiful day it is.
153
00:05:34,852 --> 00:05:36,852
(loud whirring)
154
00:05:36,852 --> 00:05:38,852
(tires screeching)
155
00:05:40,852 --> 00:05:43,729
(deep barking)
156
00:05:45,852 --> 00:05:46,922
Go play.
157
00:05:47,469 --> 00:05:50,110
"Go play"-- if only
life were that simple.
158
00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:58,735
There, I played.
159
00:05:58,735 --> 00:06:00,187
Hey, Sheldon!
160
00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:02,062
Hello, Billy Sparks.
161
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,969
Hello, Matilda Sparks.
162
00:06:03,969 --> 00:06:06,110
I heard you’re going
to high school tomorrow.
163
00:06:06,110 --> 00:06:06,853
I am.
164
00:06:06,853 --> 00:06:08,806
You’re going to have
to find someone else
165
00:06:08,806 --> 00:06:10,197
to torment on the playground.
166
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:12,485
"Torment"?
167
00:06:12,485 --> 00:06:14,704
(sighs)
It means to maliciously harass.
168
00:06:14,704 --> 00:06:16,501
"Her ass"?
(chuckles)
169
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,735
That’s funny.
170
00:06:17,735 --> 00:06:18,844
Well, this was nice.
171
00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:20,852
Hey, doofus!
172
00:06:21,392 --> 00:06:22,509
(squawks)
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00:06:22,509 --> 00:06:24,282
Mom!
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00:06:24,282 --> 00:06:24,852
Good girl.
175
00:06:24,853 --> 00:06:25,900
Mom!
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00:06:27,711 --> 00:06:29,984
MARY: What am I supposed to do?
His feet are growing.
177
00:06:29,985 --> 00:06:31,852
GEORGE SR.: Why can’t
he wear Georgie’s old shoes?
178
00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:33,015
He won’t hold your hand.
179
00:06:33,015 --> 00:06:34,281
You think he’s gonna
put his feet
180
00:06:34,281 --> 00:06:35,508
in his brother’s smelly shoes?
181
00:06:35,507 --> 00:06:37,354
Well, we damn well
better cut back somewhere.
182
00:06:37,354 --> 00:06:39,096
Will you please keep
your voice down?
183
00:06:39,096 --> 00:06:40,362
(door shuts)
184
00:06:40,362 --> 00:06:42,362
They’re fighting
about you again.
185
00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,323
They’re fighting about money.
186
00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:46,495
It’s a common argument
in marriages.
187
00:06:47,020 --> 00:06:48,356
(door opens)
188
00:06:49,754 --> 00:06:50,625
Lights out.
189
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,752
Big day tomorrow.
190
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,384
Mom?
191
00:06:54,384 --> 00:06:54,984
Hmm?
192
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,532
Do we have financial problems?
193
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:00,672
Don’t you worry about that.
194
00:07:00,672 --> 00:07:01,672
We are fine.
195
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:02,993
Now, go to sleep.
196
00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:04,746
(door shuts)
197
00:07:04,744 --> 00:07:05,754
(sighs)
198
00:07:05,754 --> 00:07:08,504
She’s lying. She just said that
to make you feel better.
199
00:07:09,832 --> 00:07:10,965
Mom doesn’t lie.
200
00:07:11,941 --> 00:07:14,271
Sure, she thinks the Earth
was made in six days,
201
00:07:14,271 --> 00:07:16,685
but that’s ’cause
she’s gullible, not a liar.
202
00:07:21,618 --> 00:07:22,852
MISSY:
Mom,
203
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,852
Sheldon can’t find his bowtie.
204
00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:27,188
Really? I laid it out for him.
205
00:07:27,188 --> 00:07:29,469
Leave it alone, Mary.
He doesn’t need a bowtie.
206
00:07:29,469 --> 00:07:31,961
It’s his first day of school.
Let him wear what he wants.
207
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,727
SHELDON:
Mom, I can’t find my bowtie!
208
00:07:34,727 --> 00:07:36,952
Dear Lord, why’s he
got to wear a bowtie?
209
00:07:38,203 --> 00:07:39,502
Can I drive in with you?
210
00:07:40,236 --> 00:07:41,119
Sure.
211
00:07:41,119 --> 00:07:43,088
Everybody’s gonna know
he’s your brother.
212
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,852
It’s gonna be awful for you.
213
00:07:44,852 --> 00:07:45,852
Tell her to shut up.
214
00:07:46,736 --> 00:07:47,852
She’s not wrong.
215
00:07:48,174 --> 00:07:49,549
(TV plays quietly)
216
00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:50,526
It’s got to be here.
217
00:07:50,526 --> 00:07:51,832
SHELDON:
It’s not. It’s not!
218
00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:54,059
Shelly, stay calm.
We’ll find it.
219
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,129
My tie is gone!
My tie is gone!
220
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,769
Shelly, you don’t
really need a tie.
221
00:07:57,770 --> 00:08:00,853
I have to find my tie.
I have to find my tie.
222
00:08:01,318 --> 00:08:02,443
Be right back.
223
00:08:02,443 --> 00:08:05,209
Professor Proton wears a bowtie!
224
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,029
George Junior,
225
00:08:07,930 --> 00:08:09,633
give me back that
bowtie right now!
226
00:08:09,633 --> 00:08:11,336
- I didn’t take it!
- Don’t you lie to me!
227
00:08:11,336 --> 00:08:12,802
I’m not lying!
228
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,088
We’ll see about that.
229
00:08:15,088 --> 00:08:16,854
Stay out of my room!
230
00:08:16,854 --> 00:08:18,760
She’s gonna find
your dirty magazines.
231
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,221
Shut up!
232
00:08:20,221 --> 00:08:22,020
You are not having a good day.
233
00:08:22,020 --> 00:08:23,354
(sighs)
234
00:08:26,852 --> 00:08:28,852
(sighs)
235
00:08:30,227 --> 00:08:31,227
Ugh!
236
00:08:31,852 --> 00:08:33,633
(sighs)
237
00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:36,110
Hey. Hey,
he didn’t take it.
238
00:08:36,110 --> 00:08:38,071
- Then what happened to it?!
- Help me find my bowtie!
239
00:08:38,071 --> 00:08:40,294
I’ll check in
the bathroom!
240
00:08:40,295 --> 00:08:41,340
I took it.
241
00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:43,744
Why would you do that?
242
00:08:43,744 --> 00:08:46,111
Mary, the boy is nine years old
and going into high school.
243
00:08:46,721 --> 00:08:48,057
Isn’t that weird enough?
244
00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:49,151
Give it to me.
245
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,783
Come on.
It’s not just Sheldon.
246
00:08:51,308 --> 00:08:52,853
Georgie’s gonna be
in class with him.
247
00:08:52,854 --> 00:08:54,221
Not in the bathroom!
248
00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:56,058
Give it.
249
00:08:58,165 --> 00:09:00,649
♪Think about it ♪
250
00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,927
♪There must be higher love♪
251
00:09:03,532 --> 00:09:07,571
♪ Down in the heart
or hidden in the stars above ♪
252
00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:08,895
♪ Without it... ♪
253
00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:10,731
Would you like
to play a driving game?
254
00:09:10,731 --> 00:09:12,739
Not really. I always lose.
255
00:09:12,739 --> 00:09:14,059
I know. That’s why it’s fun.
256
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:17,443
How about license plates
with prime numbers
257
00:09:17,443 --> 00:09:18,263
followed by a cons...?
258
00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:19,177
Why don’t we just talk?
259
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:20,461
Very well.
260
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:23,553
You understand
261
00:09:23,554 --> 00:09:25,790
that some people are gonna be
intimidated by you
262
00:09:25,790 --> 00:09:27,056
’cause of how smart you are?
263
00:09:27,462 --> 00:09:29,376
Or maybe
they’ll recognize my intellect
264
00:09:29,376 --> 00:09:30,851
and make me their leader.
265
00:09:32,431 --> 00:09:34,142
Lord, look after my son.
266
00:09:34,142 --> 00:09:36,248
Don’t let him get
stuffed in a gym bag.
267
00:09:37,718 --> 00:09:42,538
♪ Bring me a higher love,
oh, oh ♪
268
00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:44,852
♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪
269
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,063
(distorted sounds
and voices)
270
00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,157
(distorted speech)
271
00:09:49,852 --> 00:09:51,172
Oh, dear.
272
00:09:51,172 --> 00:09:52,172
Yeah.
273
00:09:53,063 --> 00:09:55,282
That boy has
an exposed tattoo.
274
00:09:55,281 --> 00:09:56,133
He does.
275
00:09:56,133 --> 00:09:59,086
I wonder if he knows that’s
in violation of the dress code.
276
00:09:59,852 --> 00:10:04,052
Speaking of which, how
about we lose the bowtie?
277
00:10:04,399 --> 00:10:05,552
Why?
278
00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:08,440
Look around, honey. None of the
other kids are wearing one.
279
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,995
Well, perhaps I’ll start a fad.
280
00:10:09,994 --> 00:10:11,852
No, you won’t.
Please trust Mommy.
281
00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:15,187
All right,
tell you what.
282
00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,343
You take it off,
and this weekend,
283
00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:19,473
I’ll take you to RadioShack.
284
00:10:20,782 --> 00:10:21,696
Hmm?
285
00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:23,852
(bell ringing)
286
00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:25,852
(indistinct chatter)
287
00:10:27,852 --> 00:10:29,752
(growling)
288
00:10:29,752 --> 00:10:30,852
You doing okay?
289
00:10:30,852 --> 00:10:32,852
I guess.
290
00:10:32,852 --> 00:10:34,020
(roars)
291
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,852
I smell ammonia.
292
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:38,354
They must’ve done
a thorough cleaning recently.
293
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,562
I like that.
294
00:10:40,562 --> 00:10:43,657
MARY: And remember, if anybody
bothers you, what do you say?
295
00:10:43,657 --> 00:10:45,523
My dad’s a football coach.
296
00:10:45,523 --> 00:10:46,195
And?
297
00:10:46,195 --> 00:10:47,852
My brother’s a football player.
298
00:10:47,852 --> 00:10:48,652
Good.
299
00:10:49,289 --> 00:10:50,461
Hey, Mom, look.
300
00:10:50,461 --> 00:10:51,797
That girl’s pregnant.
301
00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:53,852
Congratulations.
302
00:11:00,555 --> 00:11:01,852
(toilet flushing)
303
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,617
Well, that was revolting.
304
00:11:05,789 --> 00:11:08,156
All right.
This is your homeroom.
305
00:11:08,154 --> 00:11:09,680
Do you want me
to go in with you?
306
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,110
No. Although I could’ve used you
in the restroom.
307
00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,386
Okay, well...
308
00:11:15,156 --> 00:11:16,156
You have a good day.
309
00:11:16,156 --> 00:11:17,781
And I’ll pick you up
after school,
310
00:11:17,781 --> 00:11:19,157
same door we came in.
311
00:11:19,157 --> 00:11:21,851
Are you crying or having
an allergy attack?
312
00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:24,156
Allergies.
313
00:11:24,156 --> 00:11:25,984
It’s probably the ammonia.
314
00:11:25,984 --> 00:11:27,507
Probably.
(sniffles)
315
00:11:28,156 --> 00:11:30,539
Okay. Let the learning begin.
316
00:11:32,445 --> 00:11:33,745
(door opens)
317
00:11:37,324 --> 00:11:39,181
(exhales)
318
00:11:39,181 --> 00:11:40,481
(door shuts)
319
00:11:40,759 --> 00:11:44,361
All right, everybody,
my name is Ms. MacElroy.
320
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,070
In addition to being
your homeroom teacher,
321
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:49,515
I’ll be seeing some of you
in my English class,
322
00:11:49,516 --> 00:11:51,477
and some of you
on the volleyball court.
323
00:11:51,773 --> 00:11:53,570
Just to give you
a little history,
324
00:11:53,570 --> 00:11:55,554
I’ve been here at Medford
for 29 years...
325
00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:56,242
(mouthing)
326
00:11:56,242 --> 00:11:58,828
...I taught some of your
older brothers and sisters,
327
00:11:58,828 --> 00:12:00,641
and sadly,
some of your parents.
328
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:03,883
Not much I haven’t seen.
329
00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:04,664
Until today.
330
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,922
I’m sure you’re well aware
we have a student with us,
331
00:12:08,922 --> 00:12:11,157
who, despite his young age,
332
00:12:11,157 --> 00:12:13,376
is remarkably gifted.
333
00:12:13,376 --> 00:12:15,907
And I expect y’all
to make him feel welcome.
334
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,057
Yes, Sheldon?
335
00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:21,190
Per the student dress
and grooming code,
336
00:12:21,916 --> 00:12:24,156
this boy’s hair is too long,
337
00:12:24,156 --> 00:12:26,156
this boy is wearing
sports attire
338
00:12:26,156 --> 00:12:27,156
outside
of a designated area
339
00:12:27,156 --> 00:12:30,033
and this girl’s blouse
is diaphanous,
340
00:12:30,033 --> 00:12:32,866
which means
I can see her brassiere.
341
00:12:32,866 --> 00:12:35,033
(laughter)
342
00:12:32,866 --> 00:12:35,033
Thank you.
343
00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:36,324
I will take that
into account.
344
00:12:36,324 --> 00:12:38,156
All right.
345
00:12:38,156 --> 00:12:40,156
We have a few minutes
before first period.
346
00:12:40,156 --> 00:12:42,156
I need y’all
to fill out these forms.
347
00:12:42,156 --> 00:12:43,156
What?
348
00:12:43,156 --> 00:12:44,491
Also in violation
349
00:12:44,491 --> 00:12:46,324
of the grooming code
on page 48,
350
00:12:46,324 --> 00:12:48,658
article five, subsection B,
351
00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:51,156
you have a bit of a mustache.
352
00:12:51,156 --> 00:12:51,658
(laughter)
353
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,156
This is a stupid idea.
This boy does not
354
00:12:55,156 --> 00:12:56,578
belong in our school.
355
00:12:56,578 --> 00:12:58,156
PETERSEN: Come on Vicky,
it’s just the first day.
356
00:12:58,156 --> 00:12:59,844
Why don’t we all just take
a deep breath here?
357
00:12:59,844 --> 00:13:02,478
The hell with that. Five
minutes into my math class,
358
00:13:02,478 --> 00:13:03,955
he questioned my credentials.
359
00:13:03,955 --> 00:13:05,978
How am I supposed to control a
classroom when a kid accuses me
360
00:13:05,978 --> 00:13:07,665
of being in breach
of the hygiene code?
361
00:13:07,665 --> 00:13:08,955
Well, Hubert, it wouldn’t
kill you to shower
362
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,955
a little more often. George,
you want to weigh in here?
363
00:13:11,955 --> 00:13:12,634
Well...
364
00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:14,470
INGRAM:
Oral Roberts University
365
00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:15,454
is a wonderful school.
366
00:13:15,454 --> 00:13:17,329
He said I was intimidated
by his intelligence,
367
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,712
and then,
368
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:20,157
he offered to be my "leader."
369
00:13:21,732 --> 00:13:22,537
(clears throat)
370
00:13:22,537 --> 00:13:24,532
(playing Mozart’s Sonata in D)
371
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,665
(piano playing)
372
00:14:03,955 --> 00:14:05,832
(stops playing)
373
00:14:06,675 --> 00:14:08,300
Do you know
this sonata?
374
00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:08,995
No.
375
00:14:09,508 --> 00:14:11,222
How long have you
played the piano?
376
00:14:12,441 --> 00:14:13,798
I don’t play piano.
377
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:16,698
PETERSEN:
George,
378
00:14:16,698 --> 00:14:18,339
you got any thoughts here?
379
00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:19,339
I certainly do.
380
00:14:21,378 --> 00:14:22,378
Mary, tell him.
381
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,331
It’s simple.
We don’t have a choice.
382
00:14:25,331 --> 00:14:27,128
Well, you gave it a shot.
383
00:14:27,128 --> 00:14:28,798
We wish you luck
with Sheldon elsewhere...
384
00:14:28,798 --> 00:14:30,798
MARY:
No, no, no.
385
00:14:30,798 --> 00:14:31,798
We don’t have a choice.
386
00:14:31,798 --> 00:14:33,673
He’s got to stay here.
387
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,306
We can’t afford private school.
388
00:14:35,306 --> 00:14:36,439
I sure can’t
homeschool him.
389
00:14:36,439 --> 00:14:38,978
He’s doing calculus and
Euclidean something or other.
390
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,517
Euclidean geometry.
391
00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:41,798
Guess where I learned that.
392
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,675
Yeah, yeah, we know.
393
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:48,267
All I care about is that my son
get the education he deserves,
394
00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,110
so you all are gonna have
to figure this out.
395
00:14:50,110 --> 00:14:52,401
Coach, can you help me out here,
please?
396
00:14:52,401 --> 00:14:53,601
’Cause I’m dyin’.
397
00:14:57,346 --> 00:14:58,346
I’d rather not.
398
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,235
G minor.
399
00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:06,594
F.
400
00:15:08,758 --> 00:15:09,758
E flat.
401
00:15:11,798 --> 00:15:12,798
C minor.
402
00:15:15,798 --> 00:15:17,189
You have perfect pitch.
403
00:15:17,798 --> 00:15:18,415
Okay.
404
00:15:19,344 --> 00:15:22,211
Sweetheart, you should
really pursue music.
405
00:15:22,782 --> 00:15:25,016
No, thank you.
Musicians take drugs.
406
00:15:26,337 --> 00:15:28,548
Is there a faculty
restroom I could use?
407
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:31,446
(whistle blows)
408
00:15:33,549 --> 00:15:34,549
♪ Ooh... ♪
409
00:15:34,798 --> 00:15:35,798
(grunting)
410
00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:39,996
♪ Ooh... ♪
411
00:15:43,688 --> 00:15:45,133
Cooper, Stinson, you’re up.
412
00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:47,799
(laughs) Hey, look,
it’s the dumb brother.
413
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,898
Okay.
(blows whistle)
414
00:15:55,399 --> 00:15:56,829
(grunting, yelling)
415
00:15:56,829 --> 00:15:58,524
(whistle blowing)
416
00:15:58,524 --> 00:15:59,524
BERGDOFF:
That’s enough.
417
00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,313
(yelling)
418
00:16:01,313 --> 00:16:02,229
(whistle blowing)
419
00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:03,635
Hey, that’s enough!
420
00:16:03,635 --> 00:16:04,713
That’s enough!
421
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,506
Georgie.
422
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:07,798
Georgie! Georgie!
423
00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:09,221
Stop! Stop!
424
00:16:11,966 --> 00:16:13,166
The hell
is wrong with you?
425
00:16:17,961 --> 00:16:19,086
You okay?
426
00:16:19,086 --> 00:16:20,750
No, I’m not okay.
427
00:16:30,102 --> 00:16:31,375
Where you think you’re going?
428
00:16:31,376 --> 00:16:33,423
I quit. I don’t want
to play anymore!
429
00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:34,345
Since when?
430
00:16:34,344 --> 00:16:36,797
Since right now!
431
00:16:36,798 --> 00:16:38,141
All right, what is going on?
432
00:16:38,141 --> 00:16:39,539
What do you think’s going on?!
433
00:16:41,422 --> 00:16:42,522
You mean Sheldon?
434
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:46,922
You can’t let that bother you.
435
00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,258
It doesn’t bother you?
436
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,524
You got called
to the principal’s office.
437
00:16:50,524 --> 00:16:52,618
Yeah, that wasn’t so great.
438
00:16:52,617 --> 00:16:54,250
I can’t be in the same school
as him!
439
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,891
Well, I don’t see
what choice you have.
440
00:16:55,891 --> 00:16:58,852
Right. Ever since he could talk,
I quit having any choices.
441
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,148
(groans)
442
00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:07,719
I know it’s hard.
443
00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:12,438
I’m telling you, as your coach,
quit your whining,
444
00:17:12,438 --> 00:17:14,798
get your uniform on and you
get your ass back out there.
445
00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:17,446
But what about as my dad?
446
00:17:18,696 --> 00:17:20,071
Your dad is
having a bad day.
447
00:17:20,575 --> 00:17:21,723
Listen to your coach.
448
00:17:27,973 --> 00:17:31,957
Can a clock be powered
by an ordinary potato?
449
00:17:32,508 --> 00:17:34,328
I hope so, boys and girls,
450
00:17:34,328 --> 00:17:37,351
or this is going to be
a really boring episode.
451
00:17:38,204 --> 00:17:39,204
The supplies you’ll need...
452
00:17:39,204 --> 00:17:41,204
Why can’t we watch DuckTales?
453
00:17:41,204 --> 00:17:44,806
’Cause we don’t learn anything
watching DuckTales.
454
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:47,697
It’s TV; we aren’t
supposed to learn.
455
00:17:47,697 --> 00:17:51,377
...two alligator grips
and, let’s see...
456
00:17:51,377 --> 00:17:53,104
Of course, a clock.
457
00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:55,870
Missy, go somewhere else.
I need to talk to your brother.
458
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:58,214
Why don’t you go somewhere else
and I can watch Duck...
459
00:17:58,214 --> 00:18:00,206
Go!
460
00:18:00,206 --> 00:18:01,347
I hate everybody.
461
00:18:01,823 --> 00:18:04,204
It’s time for science.
462
00:18:07,204 --> 00:18:10,524
Hey, he was about to power
a clock with a potato.
463
00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:11,547
Not possible.
464
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:12,563
Now, listen...
465
00:18:12,563 --> 00:18:13,797
Am I in trouble?
466
00:18:13,798 --> 00:18:14,798
No.
467
00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:17,212
Maybe. Just listen.
468
00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:21,454
You’re not gonna
make it in this school
469
00:18:21,454 --> 00:18:23,004
if you keep ratting
people out.
470
00:18:23,004 --> 00:18:24,856
But they were breaking
the grooming codes
471
00:18:24,856 --> 00:18:26,204
and the dress codes.
472
00:18:26,204 --> 00:18:28,950
I saw one boy with a T-shirt
that said...
473
00:18:29,805 --> 00:18:31,102
(whispering):
"Bite me."
474
00:18:31,102 --> 00:18:34,071
Yeah. That-that’s terrible.
475
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,985
Sheldon, let me tell
you a little story.
476
00:18:35,985 --> 00:18:38,633
Did you ever wonder why we moved
from Galveston to Medford?
477
00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:41,915
No. I tend to wonder
about the bigger questions.
478
00:18:41,915 --> 00:18:43,548
Okay, well, here’s why.
479
00:18:44,485 --> 00:18:46,665
Your dad had a real good
coaching job
480
00:18:47,454 --> 00:18:49,767
and I saw some grown-ups
breaking rules.
481
00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:50,650
What’d they do?
482
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,220
I-It’s kind of complicated,
but...
483
00:18:53,259 --> 00:18:55,947
football coaches aren’t allowed
to recruit kids
484
00:18:55,947 --> 00:18:57,427
from other high schools
to play on their teams.
485
00:18:57,427 --> 00:18:58,700
And you told on them?
486
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,817
Yeah. You know what happened?
487
00:19:00,818 --> 00:19:03,259
Justice descended
upon the rule breakers?
488
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,365
I got fired, Sheldon.
489
00:19:07,259 --> 00:19:08,693
And I got a bad
reputation.
490
00:19:09,259 --> 00:19:12,150
Oh. That’s why you
drink so much beer.
491
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,697
Just do yourself a favor.
492
00:19:17,697 --> 00:19:19,681
Okay? Go to
school tomorrow,
493
00:19:19,681 --> 00:19:21,837
and mind your own business.
494
00:19:22,673 --> 00:19:23,673
All right?
495
00:19:25,511 --> 00:19:26,211
Dad.
496
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,914
Are you sad that you got fired?
497
00:19:32,978 --> 00:19:34,189
Mostly angry.
498
00:19:36,665 --> 00:19:37,665
But yeah.
499
00:19:39,673 --> 00:19:40,759
Maybe a little sad.
500
00:19:49,095 --> 00:19:50,414
All right, let’s say grace.
501
00:19:56,001 --> 00:19:56,961
Thank you, God,
502
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,252
for this food we are
about to receive.
503
00:19:59,259 --> 00:20:01,259
(muffled praying continues)
504
00:20:08,128 --> 00:20:09,259
ADULT SHELDON:
That was the first time
505
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:10,824
I held my father’s hand.
506
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:15,032
MARY: ...our bodies and bless
the hands that prepared it.
507
00:20:15,032 --> 00:20:15,821
Amen.
508
00:20:15,821 --> 00:20:16,618
GEORGIE: Amen.
509
00:20:16,618 --> 00:20:17,418
MISSY: Amen.
510
00:20:20,282 --> 00:20:23,735
MARY: Hey, George Jr.,
wait your turn.
511
00:20:23,735 --> 00:20:25,454
ADULT SHELDON:
I wouldn’t
touch my brother’s hand
512
00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:27,470
until 17 years later,
513
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,368
thanks to the invention
of Purell.
514
00:20:47,573 --> 00:20:49,182
You know what I find comforting?
515
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,440
What’s that, baby?
516
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,549
In a world filled
with uncertainty,
517
00:20:52,549 --> 00:20:53,979
this place will be here forever.
518
00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,573
CLERK: Hey, Sheldon,
how you doing?
519
00:20:59,956 --> 00:21:02,289
Synced and corrected
by matheus179
35648
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