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1
00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:10,100
Okay, boys, this one's for Jerry.
2
00:00:10,230 --> 00:00:11,890
May he rest in peace.
3
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:15,260
One for me, one for
you, and one for you.
4
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:18,180
D-Do not peer pressure me. I
haven't taken my pills yet.
5
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:19,416
Do you know what happens when you mix
6
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,360
prescription drugs and alcohol?
7
00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:23,240
Yeah, a good time.
8
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,410
I wouldn't do it. I once
mixed six tabs of acid
9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,639
with some New England hard cider.
10
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,080
Long story short,
11
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:34,250
I can't eat apples with
my clothes on anymore.
12
00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,220
Let's raise a glass.
13
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,680
Jerry, what can I say?
14
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,300
You were the most ornery, foul-mouthed,
15
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,959
mentally deranged son
of a bitch I ever met,
16
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,440
and thank God I did.
17
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,516
- We're gonna miss you, old pal.
- Yeah, we are.
18
00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:50,550
To Jerry.
19
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,220
- To Jerry.
- To Jerry!
20
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:59,270
So, should we talk replacements?
21
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,940
Have you lost your mind?
22
00:01:00,980 --> 00:01:03,880
Well, it is a prime seat.
We got to move fast.
23
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:07,599
Now, look, guys, you know
we can never replace Jerry.
24
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,480
The man was a legend. So
I say we honor his legacy
25
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:12,820
the way it should be
honored, with an empty seat.
26
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,080
Do you mind?
27
00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:19,760
It has been a bitch of a morning.
28
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,430
Uh, hey, baby, you must be lost.
29
00:01:24,140 --> 00:01:25,740
Don't start, flyboy.
30
00:01:25,780 --> 00:01:28,870
I'm not in the mood and
I am not interested.
31
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:32,780
Look, lady, I don't know who you are,
32
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:34,740
but you can't sit there.
33
00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:37,680
Why not? Who are you
guys, the cool kids?
34
00:01:37,710 --> 00:01:39,610
Damn straight we are.
35
00:01:39,650 --> 00:01:42,150
You...
36
00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:43,180
Really?
37
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,440
Him? Wow.
38
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,990
I don't know where you came from,
39
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:51,700
but you can't sit wherever you want.
40
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,260
You got to be invited.
41
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,279
He's right. You have to earn that spot.
42
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,460
Fine. I'll arm wrestle you for it.
43
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,180
- Fine.
- Wait, wait, S-Sid. Ooh.
44
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,310
Did better than I thought.
45
00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:09,060
Look, you gots to go.
46
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,740
That seat belongs to Jerry.
47
00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:13,880
Is that right? Where is this Jerry?
48
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,080
Good morning, Shady Meadows.
49
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,800
I'm sorry to announce that Jerry Walsh
50
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,440
passed away yesterday.
51
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,066
There'll be free balloons
and a cheese plate
52
00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:24,560
available in his memory.
Have a nice day.
53
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,120
Jerry?
54
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,740
What is your problem?
55
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,810
Why you want to sit at our
table so bad, anyway?
56
00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,170
You know, honestly, I don't,
57
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,830
but then you told me that I couldn't.
58
00:02:34,870 --> 00:02:37,700
So now you are gonna need a
hearse to drag me out of here
59
00:02:37,740 --> 00:02:39,860
because nobody tells me what to do.
60
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,680
Nobody.
61
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,440
You want me to arm-wrestle her again?
62
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,880
I think I'm getting a second wind.
63
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,520
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
64
00:03:13,540 --> 00:03:15,900
That woman is violent.
65
00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:18,640
I think she broke my elbow.
66
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,880
Times sure have changed.
67
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,900
I mean, in the '50s, a
woman wouldn't dare
68
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,500
just come sit at our table like that.
69
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,400
In the '50s, you wouldn't have
been allowed in the restaurant.
70
00:03:29,490 --> 00:03:31,520
I'd have been allowed
in, but I'd have had
71
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:32,820
to talk like this.
72
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:37,490
Plus, she disrespected Jerry.
73
00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:38,640
And speaking of Jerry,
74
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,540
we need to talk about
his memorial service.
75
00:03:40,570 --> 00:03:41,799
Why do we have to talk about it?
76
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,139
Aren't they gonna give him one?
77
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,920
A cheese plate and
balloons is not a service.
78
00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:47,860
- Jerry liked to party.
- Yeah.
79
00:03:47,940 --> 00:03:49,810
He would want something epic.
80
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,040
You know, like kegs and a DJ, fireworks,
81
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,100
people getting butt naked up in here.
82
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:59,620
We need to throw something
like a Burning Man.
83
00:03:59,850 --> 00:04:01,690
You want to burn a man?
84
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:03,520
No, it's a sex festival in the desert.
85
00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:05,320
I go every year.
86
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,940
Well, Allison is not gonna
let you throw a party.
87
00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,760
She runs this place like Alcatraz.
88
00:04:12,930 --> 00:04:15,530
Don't worry about Allison.
We gonna go around her.
89
00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:18,020
Yeah, but a party like that's
gonna cost a lot of dough.
90
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,979
Money?
91
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:22,300
Oh, that's not gonna be a problem.
92
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,280
Well, why? You came into some scratch?
93
00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:27,980
Well... I got this.
94
00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:30,020
Is that Jerry's credit card?
95
00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:33,180
How the hell did you get
Jerry's credit card?
96
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,080
Well, how does anything happen, Hank?
97
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,300
You're not the only one with good ideas.
98
00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:44,190
Why is this still loose?
99
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,330
Hey, do you know where
the supply closet is?
100
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:52,320
No, nuh-uh. Do you know
how to fix a table?
101
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,280
Psst! Come on, over here.
102
00:04:55,570 --> 00:04:57,540
Hurry up, man, come on.
103
00:04:57,570 --> 00:04:59,359
Sorry to be so sneaky,
104
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,260
but you probably do this all the time.
105
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,880
Not really.
106
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:05,510
Okay. Can I get your credit card?
107
00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:06,760
Yes, you may.
108
00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:10,220
And, uh, I am Mr. Jerry Walsh.
109
00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:12,660
Okay. And a photo ID?
110
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:13,880
Say what now?
111
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:16,606
I mean, obviously, you're old enough.
112
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:18,790
It's just company policy.
Is that gonna be a problem?
113
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:19,976
No, that's not gonna be a problem.
114
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,880
I mean, why would it be
a problem? You know.
115
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:24,430
I'm sure I got it here
somewhere... somewhere.
116
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:28,250
- Run!
- Run? I haven't run in 30 years.
117
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,820
You can do it.
118
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:32,210
No, actually, I can't.
I've got three fake hips
119
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:35,060
'cause of a bet I lost to
that doctor in Costa Rica.
120
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,500
All right, look, on my
cue, we're gonna snatch
121
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,160
that credit card and
make a break for it.
122
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:42,250
- I'm sorry. Where were we, now?
- Just to let you know,
123
00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,080
I could hear everything
you guys were saying.
124
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:46,520
Run!
125
00:05:46,690 --> 00:05:48,790
You don't have to run.
126
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,960
I'm not gonna chase you.
127
00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,330
What are you guys trying to do to me?
128
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:01,300
I mean, it feels like
it's becoming personal.
129
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:02,400
Is it personal?
130
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,610
Did I do something to offend you?
131
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,470
Well, you took our credit card.
132
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,160
You know, some of us
aren't retired, Hank.
133
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:12,480
Some of us are trying to keep our jobs.
134
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:14,600
That sounds like a "you" problem.
135
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,620
No. Actually, it's a "you" problem.
136
00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:18,979
Actually actually,
137
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:22,080
it's a "you and you and you" problem.
138
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,440
Because of you three, I've
got higher blood pressure
139
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:25,780
than half the people in here.
140
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,300
That sounds like another "you" problem.
141
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:32,520
I'm sorry about Jerry.
142
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,980
But if we threw a rager
every time a person died,
143
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,740
this place would look
like Bourbon Street.
144
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:39,320
Bourbon Street's okay.
The best streets are...
145
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:41,780
few blocks over.
146
00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:45,300
Bourbon Street's okay.
What I'm saying here, Sid,
147
00:06:45,380 --> 00:06:48,760
is that people want peace and quiet.
148
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,550
Peace and quiet? I'm gonna have plenty
149
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,050
of peace and quiet when I'm dead.
150
00:06:53,090 --> 00:06:55,960
I want to party. Jerry wanted to party.
151
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,900
And nobody wants to party with
balloons and a cheese plate.
152
00:06:59,060 --> 00:07:00,560
What's so bad about that?
153
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,900
Jerry hated cheese. The man
was lactose intolerant.
154
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:07,240
I don't know what to tell you,
Hank. The rules are the rules.
155
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,720
You don't like them, you can leave.
156
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,900
You do realize you're
all here voluntarily.
157
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:13,740
What? We are?
158
00:07:13,780 --> 00:07:16,199
Yes. It's a retirement community,
159
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,740
not an insane asylum.
160
00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:21,040
My kids are liars.
161
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,520
Well, voluntary or not, the rules stink.
162
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,840
And what qualifies you
163
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,800
to come up with these
rules anyway, Missy?
164
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,360
I went to Harvard Business School.
165
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:32,600
I never heard of it.
166
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,260
You've never heard of Harvard?
167
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,060
Oh, Harvard!
168
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,080
I thought you said "Barnyard."
169
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,900
I can't hear a thing today.
170
00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,660
That's a great school.
171
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,440
All right, guys, time to
get out of my office.
172
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,156
Well, if you're not gonna
let us throw a party,
173
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,340
at least move what's-her-face
from our table.
174
00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:56,250
Who? Margaret?
175
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,950
No, she can sit wherever she wants.
176
00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,350
There's nothing I can do about it.
177
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,450
Oh, I get it.
178
00:08:01,490 --> 00:08:03,760
So you're saying there's
nothing you can do.
179
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:06,260
- Right.
- So you want us to handle it.
180
00:08:06,290 --> 00:08:07,720
That's what you're saying.
181
00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:09,400
That's not at all what I'm saying.
182
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:11,820
Ah, it's cool. I hear you, baby.
183
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:14,680
I feel like you don't.
184
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,820
Ah, I got it. Say no more.
185
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:18,820
I feel like I should.
186
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,300
Mm. Let's roll, boys.
187
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,760
Walked right into that one, Harvard.
188
00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:41,230
You want me to flirt with her?
189
00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:42,930
I don't think I can do this.
190
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,260
You want that woman sitting
at our table forever?
191
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,700
Trust me, this'll work.
192
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:51,100
But it should be you or Charlie
or at least somebody straight.
193
00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:54,310
Sid, only a gay man can hit
on a woman these days.
194
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:57,310
If I so much as bump
into the side of a tata,
195
00:08:57,340 --> 00:08:59,760
I could wind up in jail for six years.
196
00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:02,620
I did six years in jail. Wasn't so bad.
197
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,750
- I was in the best shape of my...
- Charlie.
198
00:09:04,790 --> 00:09:07,419
Now, Sid, your mere presence
199
00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:08,640
makes most people uncomfortable.
200
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,460
Now, all you got to do is, is take that
201
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,160
and dial that up to, like, an 11.
202
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:14,220
She'll be running to
another table in no time.
203
00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,090
Fine. Here goes nothing.
204
00:09:16,130 --> 00:09:18,720
I'll take off my glasses
so I look more butch.
205
00:09:30,180 --> 00:09:32,520
Well, hello, little lady.
206
00:09:35,260 --> 00:09:36,420
Are you all right?
207
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:39,120
Do you mind if I join you?
208
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,260
How can I resist?
209
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,530
- Where are your friends?
- Well, they're not hiding,
210
00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:53,760
if that's what you're asking.
211
00:09:55,340 --> 00:09:57,220
I wasn't.
212
00:09:58,460 --> 00:10:01,050
So, I know a man is not supposed
213
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,470
to say these things when sitting
with a woman these days,
214
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:07,900
but if you really want Jerry's seat,
215
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,640
I know a way you can earn it.
216
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,140
Through me.
217
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,990
Really?
218
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,180
What would I have to do?
219
00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:20,300
Well, you know, uh,
220
00:10:20,580 --> 00:10:23,900
man-woman stuff.
221
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,890
I don't know.
222
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,640
Why don't you give me the details?
223
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,730
Well, you know, when a...
224
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,610
man takes a woman and
unhooks things and...
225
00:10:37,610 --> 00:10:39,610
... takes liberties with her person.
226
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,900
You know the rest.
227
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:43,880
No, still lost.
228
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,050
He puts his lips on things,
229
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,020
and-and his hands go everywhere.
230
00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,520
Cheese and crackers, don't
make me keep saying it!
231
00:10:53,830 --> 00:10:54,890
Well, all right.
232
00:10:54,930 --> 00:10:56,360
Why don't we go back to my room
233
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,690
and you can show me instead?
234
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:01,620
No, I think I made
myself perfectly clear.
235
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,230
No, no, no, no, no, no. no
236
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,100
I want you to show me.
237
00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,940
Come on, lover boy.
238
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,120
Get up.
239
00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:17,289
Well, maybe this didn't
work out in our favor.
240
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,040
I mean, if you slept with Sid,
241
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,936
would you really want to
sit next to him all day?
242
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,960
It's Sid I'm worried about.
243
00:11:22,980 --> 00:11:26,320
If she goes anywhere near his
penis, his heart could explode.
244
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,200
I've seen a man's heart explode once.
245
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,500
It's not pretty.
246
00:11:30,530 --> 00:11:32,259
When did you see a man's heart explode?
247
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:33,996
How you gonna see that?
It's inside his body.
248
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:35,740
Well, it-it came out!
249
00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:37,640
Way out!
250
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:38,680
All right, all right, Charlie,
251
00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:41,600
I'm gonna stop asking you questions.
252
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:43,710
So, three hours later,
253
00:11:43,750 --> 00:11:45,310
I wake up on the floor
254
00:11:45,350 --> 00:11:48,320
next to a longshoreman, with
a rubber tube in my hand.
255
00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:49,619
And I'm thinking to myself,
256
00:11:49,620 --> 00:11:51,800
"Did he get the enema or was it me?"?
257
00:11:51,820 --> 00:11:53,520
My God!
258
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,900
I've been there!
259
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,200
What the hell is this?
260
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,330
Oh, speaking of enemas,
261
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,680
look who just showed up.
262
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,970
You told her, didn't you?
263
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,280
I'm sorry, Hank. She
knew what I was doing
264
00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,560
and she flipped it on me.
265
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,979
You were supposed to scare her away,
266
00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:10,760
not swap booty stories with her.
267
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:12,920
She found my weakness.
268
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,320
Come on, Sid, let's go.
269
00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:16,000
No, actually...
270
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,560
I want to stay.
271
00:12:18,580 --> 00:12:20,000
You want to what?
272
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,340
I want to hear the end of the story.
273
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:26,040
Plus, I wouldn't mind hearing
the first part of that story.
274
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,440
I can't believe you guys.
275
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:30,450
You want to sit here eating
chips with this seat stealer?
276
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,000
Then you go right ahead.
277
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:34,640
I hope your guacamole
tastes like betrayal.
278
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,000
$75!
279
00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,720
Do I hear $75 for a chance
280
00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:47,020
to sit at the best table
in all of Shady Meadows?
281
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,300
$75.
282
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,300
Dudley? No, man.
283
00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:51,600
You must be kidding me.
284
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,600
Hank, what's all this about?
285
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:55,990
Well, since you all are
disrespecting Jerry,
286
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,990
I decided I'm gonna
auction off your seats
287
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,480
so I can raise money to pay
for his memorial service.
288
00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:03,380
What? You can't sell our seats.
289
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,560
$90.
290
00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:05,690
$95.
291
00:13:05,730 --> 00:13:06,890
$100.
292
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:08,660
- $110.
- $115.
293
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,360
$1 million.
294
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,199
That's too steep for me. I'm out.
295
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,280
You know you don't have
no million dollars.
296
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:18,300
Well, not on me. But
if you got a shovel,
297
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,460
we can go out to the desert.
298
00:13:21,940 --> 00:13:23,620
Who is this fossil?
299
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:26,250
That's Phillips. That's his chair now.
300
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,299
He paid $11 for that seat.
301
00:13:37,930 --> 00:13:40,000
I don't need this!
302
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,340
I'm out of here!
303
00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:43,420
No refunds, Phillips!
304
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:46,900
Woman, you are working my last nerve.
305
00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:48,770
Hank, maybe it's time to let it go.
306
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,280
We're not gonna have a big party.
307
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,419
We're just gonna sit here,
308
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,009
eat cheese, break wind,
309
00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:56,720
and stare at Jerry's ashes.
310
00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:58,210
Wait, hold up now. Ashes?
311
00:13:58,250 --> 00:13:59,680
They can't cremate Jerry.
312
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,140
- Why not?
- The man is Irish.
313
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:04,860
And the Irish like their
dead bodies in a open box
314
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,090
in the middle of a bar.
315
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,590
Then they drink whiskey,
316
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,560
then they sing songs, then
they fight each other.
317
00:14:09,590 --> 00:14:11,340
Sometimes they fight the dead body.
318
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,460
What the hell are you saying?
319
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,760
I'm saying we got to hop in a cab
320
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:18,956
and go on down to that morgue
321
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,420
and get Jerry the hell out of there.
322
00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:23,080
Have you lost your ever-loving mind?
323
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,900
We can't do that.
324
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:28,600
Plus, no cab driver will let
you transport a dead body.
325
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,920
I did it all the time when I was
a rickshaw driver in Bangkok.
326
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:35,440
Charlie, I'm gonna take my thumb,
327
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:36,860
I'm gonna push it on your eyeball
328
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:38,820
till it pops out your ear.
329
00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:41,679
Now, does anybody here
have a... have a car?
330
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:43,040
I can drive you guys.
331
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,920
Ah, hell, no. Anybody else?
332
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,170
I can drive if you guys tell me
333
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,160
what I'm seeing out the windshield.
334
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,440
It's your life.
335
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:54,300
Okay, fine, but this
doesn't make us friends.
336
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:56,020
And I'm driving.
337
00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:01,370
- Watch your blind spot.
- All right.
338
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:03,810
- She's braking.
- Mm-hmm.
339
00:15:03,850 --> 00:15:04,940
Pull over...
340
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:08,220
Man, Sid, why you got to sit like that?
341
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,380
You're blocking my view.
342
00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:11,180
Well, I can't see out the window
343
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,720
if I sit in the seat.
344
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,620
Margaret's blocking my view.
345
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:16,420
Do you have to see out the front window?
346
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,039
It's a car; they have
windows on the sides.
347
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,900
I get motion sickness.
348
00:15:20,940 --> 00:15:22,420
I'm scared I'll spit up.
349
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,540
Don't you spit up on me.
350
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,580
You really have to slow down, Hank.
351
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,950
You're going too fast.
352
00:15:27,980 --> 00:15:29,176
Well, it's too late for all that.
353
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,816
They're probably popping
Jerry in the oven
354
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,039
- as we speak.
- Oh.
355
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,750
And that said, how fast am I going?
356
00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,540
Which one of these dials
is your speedometer?
357
00:15:35,580 --> 00:15:37,040
I don't know.
358
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,160
You don't know how to read
your own speedometer?
359
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:40,840
It's not my car.
360
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,550
Well, whose car is it, then?
361
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:44,880
It's that Dudley guy's;
I swiped his key.
362
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,760
I thought you said you had a car.
363
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,550
I said I could drive a car.
364
00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:50,150
I never said that I had one.
365
00:15:50,190 --> 00:15:51,739
So I'm driving a stolen car.
366
00:15:53,140 --> 00:15:54,536
Oh, Lord, we're getting pulled over.
367
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,180
I told you to slow down.
368
00:15:58,430 --> 00:16:01,060
Oh, this is no good.
369
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:04,400
A black man in a stolen
car with a white woman?
370
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,299
All right, everybody just relax,
371
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,880
act like we have Alzheimer's.
372
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:18,460
Well, the good news is they
bought your dementia story.
373
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:20,260
The bad news is,
374
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,120
Jerry has seen better days.
375
00:16:22,150 --> 00:16:24,590
Oh, I don't know. I think
he looks good in red.
376
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:25,999
Woman, don't you start with me.
377
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,420
This is all your fault.
378
00:16:27,460 --> 00:16:29,110
From the moment you came up in here,
379
00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,376
ain't been nothing but trouble.
380
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,930
'Cause of you, Jerry will
never get his open casket.
381
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:34,600
Why don't you just flip the lid?
382
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,230
Eh, don't you touch him.
383
00:16:36,270 --> 00:16:38,100
Don't you touch him.
384
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:40,860
Shoot, knowing you,
you're liable to drop him.
385
00:16:40,970 --> 00:16:44,040
No!
386
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,260
Oh.
387
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:49,560
Boy, you don't see that every day.
388
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,280
Maybe I can find a broom,
389
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,940
we could sweep him into
a little zip-it bag.
390
00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:56,620
The-the Dag zip-it?
391
00:16:56,860 --> 00:16:58,820
They put the zip-it a thunda snug.
392
00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,540
He's talking gibberish.
393
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,579
I-Is he having a stroke?
394
00:17:02,580 --> 00:17:05,460
He might be. I say it's
best we all just walk away.
395
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:08,130
We aren't getting the Jerry
pieces back in the bottle.
396
00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:10,070
Get... Bring-bring... get-get the glue
397
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:13,320
with-with the thing on
it, man. Oh, Lord.
398
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,460
Okay, Jerry, I'm gonna rent a cannon,
399
00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:27,419
then we'll tuck you inside,
then I'm gonna blast you
400
00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:30,060
right upside that woman's head.
401
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:34,200
You know, Hank, I think
it's time to let it go.
402
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,300
You know, when I was in the Navy,
403
00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:38,040
I had a little saying:
404
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:41,820
"When the sea gets choppy,
don't go on the boat."
405
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:44,340
Of course, the sea is always choppy,
406
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:45,980
so I got a dishonorable discharge
407
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,510
for dereliction of duties.
408
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,080
I had a whole different
saying about the Navy.
409
00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:59,000
But now's not the time or the place.
410
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,760
Now, Hank, my point is that
411
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,900
I don't think you're mad at that woman.
412
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:08,500
And I don't think you're
mad about Jerry's party.
413
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:10,200
I think you're scared.
414
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,240
We all are.
415
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:16,040
'Cause one day it's gonna
be about our crappy party
416
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,780
and who gets to sit in our seat.
417
00:18:18,810 --> 00:18:22,450
And just like that... we're forgotten.
418
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,340
You know, Charlie,
419
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,580
that's the most lucid thing
I've ever heard you say.
420
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,600
Thank you.
421
00:18:27,620 --> 00:18:30,940
And you are 100% incorrect!
422
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,890
You guys remember when I lost my
wife to the big man upstairs?
423
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,860
I thought your wife left you.
424
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:39,739
She did... for the
retired football player
425
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:42,000
who lived in the penthouse.
426
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:45,160
See, that's when I moved in
here and I met you guys.
427
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:48,870
I tell you what, Jerry,
even at my lowest,
428
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,310
he showed me that life
could still be fun.
429
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:54,980
And if I'm scared, maybe I'm just scared
430
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:57,850
that it's not gonna be any
fun around here anymore,
431
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,180
now that Jerry's gone.
432
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,920
Well, maybe we don't
need Jerry to have fun.
433
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,760
Hell, we had one heck of
a day with that woman.
434
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:11,490
Jerry never got us arrested.
435
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,030
Yeah, he never stole a
car, and that was fun.
436
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:18,340
Yeah, but that woman, she
just gets under my skin.
437
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:21,040
Well, Jerry got under everybody's skin.
438
00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:24,240
He used to replace my beta blockers
439
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,860
with boner pills.
440
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:28,910
It was a joke.
441
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:31,110
Not to my poor little pecker.
442
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:33,999
Okay. Okay, Sid.
443
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:37,780
What the hell is that?
444
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,080
_
445
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:50,900
Oh, I'm sorry, you guys
can't come in here.
446
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,320
You have to be invited.
447
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,870
I'm just kidding.
448
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:57,360
Surprise. Here's your party.
449
00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:59,640
This was you? You did this?
450
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:01,360
You're welcome.
451
00:20:01,580 --> 00:20:03,560
How? What did you tell Allison?
452
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:05,720
Well, I said, "Please let me throw
453
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:07,150
"this party for the boys.
454
00:20:07,180 --> 00:20:10,330
"I mean, I'm here all alone and
nobody likes me very much.
455
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,640
Please."
456
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,460
- And that worked?
- No.
457
00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:17,080
So I slipped her a sleeping
pill and knocked the bitch out.
458
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,770
See?
459
00:20:19,780 --> 00:20:22,430
She's way more fun than Jerry.
460
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:24,930
You know, I talked everything
over with the guys,
461
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:26,300
and despite their objections,
462
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:27,820
I think you should take Jerry's seat.
463
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:30,570
- Well, I accept.
- On a probationary basis.
464
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,816
Just as long as you know, I'm still
465
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,256
gonna be calling the shots around here.
466
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,010
Well, we'll-we'll see about that.
467
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,980
What-what do you mean by
"we'll see about that"?
468
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:39,350
- Never mind.
- What? No, I changed my mind.
469
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:40,360
- We shouldn't be doing this.
- Ah.
470
00:20:40,370 --> 00:20:41,696
You know, I think I
might take your chair.
471
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:42,960
I believe it has a better view.
472
00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,650
N-N-N-N-N-No. Nah. Uh-uh.
473
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,460
She can't put the, put-put
the, put the thing
474
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:49,500
on the, on the moova.
475
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,160
So there I am,
476
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,670
halftime at the Super Bowl
operating camera five,
477
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,599
and I... and over my headset I hear,
478
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,920
"Cut to Janet Jackson."
479
00:21:05,340 --> 00:21:07,220
Excuse me, Ms. Walsh?
480
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,210
Oh, you can call me Jerry.
481
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,680
I hate to bother you, but your
credit card has been declined.
482
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,640
Oh, no, there must be some mistake.
483
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:15,280
I've tried it several times.
484
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,180
All right. Well, hold your horses.
485
00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:19,020
I'll get you a different c-card.
486
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:20,850
I'm gonna go, uh, get my...
487
00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:22,720
I'm gonna... Run!
488
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,400
Sir? Oh!
489
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:30,540
That's pretty good.
490
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:35,540
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-- www.addic7ed.com --
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