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1
00:00:19,133 --> 00:00:22,673
- AND I KNOW BY NOW
YOU ALL HAVE NOTICED I'VE GOT SOME BIG-ASS LIPS.
2
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:25,867
YEAH! I KNOW THEY ARE
SOME BIG MOTHERFUCKERS.
3
00:00:25,867 --> 00:00:28,597
SEE, HEY, I KNOW THEY
ARE SOME BIG MOTHERFUCKERS.
4
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:31,430
YEAH, ALL MY LIPS ARE BIG,
AS A MATTER OF FACT.
5
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,297
THAT'S RIGHT.
6
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:38,200
SEE, SEE? HERE'S
THE KIND OF MOTHERFUCKER
7
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,700
HOWLING ABOUT A BLOW JOB.
8
00:00:40,700 --> 00:00:43,130
AND HE'S WEARING ABOUT
A SIZE 4--LITTLE OLD FEET--
9
00:00:43,133 --> 00:00:45,703
SO YOU KNOW HIS DICK'S SMALL.
10
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,630
I COULDN'T GIVE HIM NO BLOW JOB.
11
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:49,533
MY BIG-ASS LIPS,
HIS LITTLE OLD DICK.
12
00:00:49,533 --> 00:00:51,673
IT WOULDN'T WORK.
13
00:00:51,667 --> 00:00:54,797
THAT'D BE LIKE TRYING TO GIVE
A WHALE A TIC TAC, MOTHERFUCKER.
14
00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,200
THAT SHIT WOULDN'T WORK.
15
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:58,900
IT WOULDN'T WORK.
16
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,470
IT WOULDN'T WORK.
17
00:01:04,166 --> 00:01:07,326
FOR REAL. AM I LYING?
18
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:09,333
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.
19
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:11,533
- IT'S THE RUSSELL SIMMONS'
DEF COMEDY JAM
20
00:01:11,533 --> 00:01:13,133
WITH YOUR HOST...
21
00:01:16,667 --> 00:01:18,097
TONIGHT'S GUESTS...
22
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:20,230
KELLY K-DUBB WALKER...
23
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:21,803
DeRAY DAVIS...
24
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,330
VARGUS MASON...
25
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:26,073
AND EARTHQUAKE.
26
00:01:26,066 --> 00:01:29,596
I AM YOUR MAN, THE WORLD'S
GREATEST D.J...
27
00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:33,527
AND THIS IS COMEDY AT ITS BEST.
28
00:01:33,533 --> 00:01:38,773
LET'S GET IT ON WITH YOUR HOST,
D.L. HUGHLEY.
29
00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:40,567
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
30
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,173
- HOW Y'ALL DOING UP TOP?
Y'ALL ALL RIGHT?
31
00:01:45,166 --> 00:01:48,226
[NOISY CHEERS]
32
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:52,703
YOU GOT TO TALK TO THE PEOPLE
IN THE SECTION 8.
33
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,270
THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS GOT
SOME WEED AND GUNS.
34
00:01:55,266 --> 00:01:57,126
AND YOU DON'T WANT NO TROUBLE
AROUND THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
35
00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:59,133
[LAUGHTER]
36
00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:01,073
I'M GLAD, MAN. SHIT GOT
TO GET DIFFERENT, MAN.
37
00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:02,666
EVERYTHING'S FUCKED UP.
38
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:03,627
THE NEXT PRESIDENT GONNA HAVE
A LOT OF SHIT TO DEAL WITH,
39
00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:05,503
LIKE THAT GLOBAL WARMING
THING, MAN.
40
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:10,730
THAT TSUNAMI THING--IN 2005,
THAT KILLED 200,000 PEOPLE.
41
00:02:10,734 --> 00:02:12,104
NO ANIMALS DIED.
42
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:14,030
THE ANIMAL SYSTEM WAS GOING ON.
THEY GOT THE FUCK OUT.
43
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:16,233
NOW, THEY'RE TRYING TO USE THEM
FOR AN EARLY WARNING SYSTEM.
44
00:02:16,233 --> 00:02:17,833
LIKE, A CHICKEN'S GONNA TELL US
WHAT'S GOING ON.
45
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,234
"WHAT'S WRONG, BOY?"
46
00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:21,133
"YOU'LL FIND OUT."
47
00:02:23,066 --> 00:02:25,826
"IT'S ABOUT TO BE FUCKED UP
AROUND HERE, ISN'T IT?"
48
00:02:27,667 --> 00:02:29,467
A LOT OF SHIT, MAN,
LIKE THIS MEDICAL.
49
00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:30,767
YOU KNOW THE GREATEST
MEDICAL ADVANCEMENTS
50
00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:32,327
IN THIS COUNTRY IN
THE LAST 10 YEARS
51
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,173
HAVE BEEN
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION DRUGS?
52
00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:38,096
NOTHING--WE AIN'T
FIXING SHIT ELSE.
53
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,600
"I HAVE BREAST CANCER."
54
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,100
"WELL, I DON'T
HAVE NOTHING FOR THAT.
55
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:42,830
"I HAVE SOMETHING
FOR A HARD DICK. YOU WANT A HARD DICK?
56
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,934
THAT'S ALL THE FUCK
I GOT HERE."
57
00:02:44,934 --> 00:02:47,134
REALLY, THOUGH,
IT WASN'T EVEN FOR YOUR DICK.
58
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,973
THEY WERE EXPERIMENTAL
HEART MEDICATIONS.
59
00:02:48,967 --> 00:02:50,467
SOME DUDE WALKS DOWN,
"MY CHEST HURT."
60
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:52,467
"HERE. TAKE THIS PILL.
HOW'S YOUR CHEST?"
61
00:02:52,467 --> 00:02:54,367
"IT HURTS, BUT MY DICK IS
HARDER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER."
62
00:02:54,367 --> 00:02:56,127
"WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHEST?"
63
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,303
"FUCK MY CHEST. GIVE ME TWO MORE
OF THESE PILLS."
64
00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:02,130
THEY GOT SHIT CALLED CIALIS
THAT LASTS 36 HOURS.
65
00:03:02,133 --> 00:03:04,203
I LIKE FUCKING,
BUT THAT AIN'T FUN.
66
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,270
36 HOURS? SHIT, YOU'LL JUST BE
CHAPPED AND DEHYDRATED.
67
00:03:08,266 --> 00:03:10,226
"YOU READY TO GO AGAIN,
BIG DADDY?"
68
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:14,103
"GIRL, GET THE FUCK
AWAY FROM ME. AND BRING ME SOME GATORADE AND SOME BABY POWDER.
69
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:17,600
"MY NUTS ON FIRE. SHIT.
70
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,270
YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED
WHEN YOU SMELLED SMOKE. THIS SHIT HURTS."
71
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,770
CIALIS GOT THE DUMBEST WARNINGS
IN THE WORLD.
72
00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:30,067
"IF YOU HAVE AN ERECTION
FOR MORE THAN 4 HOURS, YOU SHOULD CALL A DOCTOR."
73
00:03:30,066 --> 00:03:32,166
IF I GOT AN ERECTION
FOR 4 HOURS, I'M GONNA CALL A HOOKER.
74
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:36,726
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU.
MY MOM ALWAYS SAID, "SHARE YOUR TOYS."
75
00:03:36,734 --> 00:03:38,274
FUCK THAT SHIT, NIGGER.
76
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,767
NOW, THEY GOT SOME SHIT
CALLED LEVITRA THAT WORKS,
77
00:03:41,767 --> 00:03:43,267
BUT ONE OF THE SIDE EFFECTS--
78
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:45,366
THAT IT CAN CAUSE
PENIS DISFIGUREMENT.
79
00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,267
THAT REALLY AIN'T
WORTH THE RISK,
80
00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:48,966
'CAUSE YOU AIN'T GONNA GET
A LOT OF ACTION
81
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:50,927
WHEN YOUR DICK'S
SHAPED LIKE A YAM.
82
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:58,230
YAM? NAH. THAT DO NOT
TURN THE LADIES ON.
83
00:03:58,233 --> 00:04:01,873
YOUR LADY GOING, "WHY IS
YOUR DICK SHAPED LIKE A YAM?"
84
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,867
"JUST CALL ME
SWEET POTATO PIE, BABY."
85
00:04:04,867 --> 00:04:06,727
Y'ALL READY TO
GET THIS THING GOING?
86
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:12,597
THIS CAT'S MOTTO IS
"GIMME A CHANCE."
87
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,370
FROM MEMPHIS,
KELLY K-DUBB WALKER. GIVE IT TO HIM NOW.
88
00:04:16,367 --> 00:04:18,227
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
89
00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:23,903
[MUSIC PLAYING]
90
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,130
[MUSIC STOPS]
91
00:04:25,133 --> 00:04:27,273
- WHAT THE BUSINESS IS.
PLAY THAT AGAIN, NIGGER.
92
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,096
[MUSIC STARTS]
93
00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,600
- THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK.
I'M TALKING ABOUT. CUT THAT SHIT.
94
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,070
THAT'S MY SHIT.
Y'ALL LIKE THAT?
95
00:04:32,066 --> 00:04:33,266
[APPLAUSE]
96
00:04:33,266 --> 00:04:34,766
THAT'S WHAT THE FUCK
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
97
00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:36,267
I'M HAPPY Y'ALL CAME OUT.
98
00:04:36,266 --> 00:04:38,896
YOU EVER WHISPER SOME SHIT TO
A NIGGER, AND HE TALK LOUD BACK?
99
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:40,470
[LAUGHTER]
100
00:04:41,934 --> 00:04:43,604
YOU BE MAD
AS A MOTHERFUCKER. DON'T YOU?
101
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,970
[WHISPERS]
102
00:04:44,967 --> 00:04:46,667
"GOD DAMN. I JUST
GAVE YOU UP $45 OVER THERE."
103
00:04:46,667 --> 00:04:48,197
YOU BE LIKE, "GOD DAMN.
104
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,130
"THIS MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE,
OH, MY GOD.
105
00:04:50,133 --> 00:04:52,703
"THIS NIGGER JUST--OH, THIS
MOTHERFUCKER, JUST THROW IT ON THE GROUND.
106
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,970
I'LL PICK IT UP. FUCK IT."
107
00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:56,597
THIS MOTHERFUCKER
JUST FUCKED THAT UP.
108
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,930
OH, MY GOD. A WHOLE $45 GOING
DOWN THE GOD DAMN DRAIN, NIGGER.
109
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,800
FELLAS, YOU EVER HAVE
ONE OF YOUR HOMEBOYS WHISPER IN YOUR EAR
110
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,970
AND HIS LIPS
KEEP TOUCHING YOUR EAR?
111
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:07,627
HA HA HA!
112
00:05:07,633 --> 00:05:10,133
YOU DON'T TELL HIM
SHIT BECAUSE HE GOT SOME IMPORTANT SHIT TO SAY.
113
00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,073
YOU JUST KEEP ON EASING OFF.
114
00:05:12,066 --> 00:05:13,926
THIS MOTHERFUCKER DONE WALK YOU
TO THE CRIB.
115
00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:16,104
YOU BE LIKE, "OH, HELL NO!"
116
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,370
SHIT.
117
00:05:18,367 --> 00:05:20,567
THIS NIGGER TELLING YOU SOME
IMPORTANT SHIT, THOUGH.
118
00:05:20,567 --> 00:05:22,427
"THERE ARE SOME BITCHES
OVER THERE I WANT TO FUCK."
119
00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:25,633
"YUP, I NEED TO FUCK
SOMEBODY. YOU GOT ME HORNIER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER, NIGGER."
120
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:27,603
OH, HELL YEAH.
121
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,230
THIS NIGGER GOT
YOUR WHOLE SHOULDER JUMPING.
122
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:32,673
YOU BE LIKE, "NIGGER, YOU BETTER
HURRY THE FUCK UP, NIGGER."
123
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:34,827
HA HA!
124
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,604
YOU DONE BROKE INTO A BUTTERFLY.
125
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:38,270
"NIGGER, YOU BETTER HURRY IT."
126
00:05:38,266 --> 00:05:40,526
[LAUGHTER]
I'M JUST FUCKING WITH YOU ALL.
127
00:05:40,533 --> 00:05:43,673
NOBODY GIVE A FUCK
NO MORE THESE DAYS.
128
00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:45,267
SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE CRACK-HEADS
IN THE BUILDING.
129
00:05:45,266 --> 00:05:47,296
GIVE YOURSELF
A ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
130
00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:50,530
OH, MY GOD. CRACK-HEADS
DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT THEY SELL YOU.
131
00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:52,403
AND THEY SELL YOU SHIT THAT'S
IMPORTANT TO THEM
132
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,270
BUT DON'T MEAN SHIT TO YOU.
133
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,026
THE OTHER DAY I'M IN MEMPHIS--
THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM--
134
00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:58,273
A CRACK-HEAD TRIED TO SELL ME
A PICTURE OF HIM
135
00:05:58,266 --> 00:05:59,926
WHEN HE WAS A LITTLE BOY.
136
00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:03,666
I'M LIKE...
137
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:06,297
I'M LIKE, "NIGGER,
THIS AIN'T EVEN YOU."
138
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:10,570
HE HAD "TO YOU, FROM ME"
ON THE BACK OF THE PICTURE.
139
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:12,467
I'M LIKE, "WHO THE FUCK IS YOU?"
140
00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:14,067
"THAT'S YOU."
141
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:16,933
"WHO THE FUCK IS ME?"
142
00:06:16,934 --> 00:06:18,234
"THAT'S ME."
143
00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:20,433
"WHAT IF YOU WOULD HAVE SOLD IT
TO SOMEBODY ELSE?"
144
00:06:20,433 --> 00:06:21,933
"I WOULD HAVE PUT THEM."
145
00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:23,934
I'M LIKE, "OK. YES."
146
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:26,104
YOU GOT TO WATCH
WHAT THEY SAY, THOUGH.
147
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,900
IF THEY SAY SOME SHIT, CHECK IT.
DON'T LET THEM WALK OFF.
148
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,430
THE OTHER DAY, NO BULLSHIT.
149
00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,073
IF THEY SELL YOU A PENCIL,
SEE IF THEY CAN WRITE.
150
00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:32,996
DON'T LET THEM WALK OFF.
151
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,700
THE OTHER DAY I'M IN MEMPHIS--
NO BULLSHIT--
152
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,730
A CRACK-HEAD TRIED TO SELL ME
A ROTTWEILER.
153
00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:39,574
I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE GOD DAMN DOG,
154
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:43,067
BECAUSE HE HAD IT WRAPPED UP
IN A SHEET.
155
00:06:43,066 --> 00:06:46,296
I'M LIKE, "HOW THE FUCK
DID YOU WRAP A GROWN-ASS DOG UP IN A SHEET?"
156
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,700
HE UNWRAPPED THE SHEET
AND RAN OFF.
157
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,570
THE DOG DIDN'T HAVE NO LEGS.
158
00:06:50,567 --> 00:06:52,097
I'M LIKE, "AIN'T THIS A BITCH?
159
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,200
THIS NIGGER DONE SOLD ME
A CATERPILLAR."
160
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,100
HA HA HA!
161
00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,500
I'M WALKING DOWN THE STREET
WITH A DOG AROUND MY NECK LIKE A SNAKE.
162
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,770
[IMITATES DOG BARKING]
163
00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:03,397
"YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS
OUT OF MY YARD
164
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,670
BEFORE I THROW THIS GOD DAMN
DOG ON YOU, PLAYER."
165
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,267
[IMITATES DOG GROWLING]
166
00:07:07,266 --> 00:07:09,266
IF I THROW HIM OVER THERE,
HE GONNA BE OVER THERE
167
00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:11,026
TILL I GET OVER THERE. SO...
168
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,230
NIGGER WALKING AROUND WITH
THE DOG LIKE A BRIEFCASE.
169
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:15,733
[IMITATES DOG GROWLING]
170
00:07:15,734 --> 00:07:17,274
"WHAT THE FUCK WRONG
WITH YOUR DOG?"
171
00:07:17,266 --> 00:07:18,596
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
172
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,430
"IF I THROW HIM OVER THERE,
HE GONNA BE OVER THERE
173
00:07:20,433 --> 00:07:21,733
"TILL I GET OVER THERE.
174
00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:23,274
"THAT'S ALL THE FUCK
I WANT YOU TO KNOW.
175
00:07:23,266 --> 00:07:25,096
JUST KNOW WHO YOU FUCKING
WITH BEFORE YOU FUCK WITH IT."
176
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,500
LIKE, "SEE THERE?
I ALMOST LET HIM GO.
177
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:30,230
HAD I LET HIM GO"...
178
00:07:30,233 --> 00:07:31,903
[WHISTLES]
179
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,570
THAT DON'T BRING HIM BACK.
THAT DON'T BRING HIM BACK.
180
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:36,097
ONCE I THROW HIM OVER THERE,
181
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:38,470
OH, HE GONNA BE OVER THERE
182
00:07:38,467 --> 00:07:40,227
TILL I GET OVER THERE.
183
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:43,403
HA HA HA!
184
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,900
NOBODY GIVE A FUCK.
185
00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:46,400
PUT YOUR CONDOMS ON, TOO.
186
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,300
MAKE SURE YOU GO OUT AND SHIT
AND JUST WRAP IT UP.
187
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:50,100
THERE'S SOME FUCKED-UP
SHIT OUT HERE.
188
00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,770
ANYBODY TOOK THE HIV
TEST LATELY?
189
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:52,967
CLAP A LITTLE FOR YOURSELF
IF YOU TOOK IT.
190
00:07:52,967 --> 00:07:56,767
YUP, SEE? THAT'S
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
191
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,267
SEE? WE WILL GO TAKE
THE MOTHERFUCKER,
192
00:07:58,266 --> 00:08:00,926
BUT WE WON'T GO BACK AND GET
THE RESULTS, GOD DAMN IT.
193
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,604
NIGGERS BE LIKE,
"FUCK THEM RESULTS.
194
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,100
"IF THEY DON'T COME
AND GET ME,
195
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,170
"I MUST AIN'T GOT THE SHIT.
I'M GOOD.
196
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:07,666
"I'M GONNA GET MY ASS BACK
IN THE CLUB.
197
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,567
WHERE THE FUCK WAS
I BEFORE I..."
198
00:08:09,567 --> 00:08:11,527
HA HA HA HA!
199
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,003
THAT'S SOME FUNNY-ASS SHIT, MAN.
200
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,400
IF YOU TAKE THE HIV TEST,
GO ON AND BE REAL WITH YOURSELF.
201
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,500
YOU KNOW, HAVE YOUR RESULTS
COME BACK. YOU KNOW.
202
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,200
HEY, ONE OF MY HOMEBOYS.
I WAS LIKE, "HOW DID YOUR RESULTS COME BACK?"
203
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,670
HE WAS LIKE, "EH."
204
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,397
HOW THE FUCK YOUR SHIT
COME BACK...
205
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,030
[LAUGHTER]
206
00:08:24,033 --> 00:08:25,903
HOW THE FUCK
YOUR SHIT LIKE THIS?
207
00:08:27,233 --> 00:08:28,903
WAIT. WHAT IS THAT?
208
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,100
HUH. I GUESS...
209
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:34,530
HE'LL GO BACK TOMORROW, I GUESS.
I DON'T KNOW.
210
00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:35,904
MY HOMEBOY, MAN.
211
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,300
ANYBODY GOT
FUCKED-UP HOMEBOYS?
212
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:40,100
CLAP A LITTLE IF YOU GOT
FUCKED-UP HOMEBOYS.
213
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,570
MY HOMEBOY FUCKED UP.
214
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:44,197
THIS NIGGER STILL
LIVE WITH HIS MOM.
215
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,930
ANYBODY STILL LIVE
WITH THEIR MAMA-- BY ROUND OF APPLAUSE.
216
00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:47,574
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO ASK.
ANYBODY?
217
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:49,097
YOU EVER LIVE
WITH YOUR MAMA SO LONG
218
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,730
ALL HER FRIENDS
BECOME YOUR FRIENDS?
219
00:08:50,734 --> 00:08:53,174
YOU EVER DID THAT SHIT?
220
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,166
I GOT A HOMEBOY,
THIS NIGGER DON'T LOOK LIKE HE ABOUT TO MOVE, NIGGER.
221
00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:57,266
I KNEW HE WASN'T ABOUT TO MOVE
WHEN HE WENT TO HOME DEPOT,
222
00:08:57,266 --> 00:08:59,596
BOUGHT A SCREEN DOOR,
AND PUT IT ON HIS BEDROOM DOOR.
223
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:03,330
I'M LIKE, "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU
GET THAT BITCH ON THE JOINT?"
224
00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:06,003
HE STEP OUT IN THE HALLWAY
AND YAWN LIKE HE ON THE PORCH.
225
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,230
"AH, SHIT.
226
00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:11,073
"LOOK, IT'S COLDER THAN
A MOTHERFUCKER IN THIS HALLWAY.
227
00:09:11,066 --> 00:09:14,966
I'M-A GET MY ASS ON
BACK IN THIS ROOM."
228
00:09:14,967 --> 00:09:16,497
HE WALK BACK IN THE ROOM AND PUT
THE LITTLE HOOK ON THE DOOR.
229
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,030
[IMITATES HOOK CLICKING]
230
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:20,333
IT WAS LIKE, "HEY,
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THE HOOK FROM?"
231
00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:22,033
THIS NIGGER GOT THE LITTLE HOOK
AND EVERYTHING.
232
00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:23,533
WANT ME TO TELL YOU WHAT
I REALLY HATE, THOUGH,
233
00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:25,203
IS WHEN SOMEBODY COMES
IN MY HOUSE AND WON'T LEAVE.
234
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,730
DON'T YOU HATE THAT SHIT?
235
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,374
YOU TRYING TO THROW HINTS.
236
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,897
THIS MOTHERFUCKER
STILL AIN'T LEFT YET.
237
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:31,570
YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT,
HE TAKE OFF HIS.
238
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:33,067
YOU GO, "HEY!"
239
00:09:33,066 --> 00:09:35,396
"THAT WAS MEANING THAT
YOU GOT TO GO, NIGGER."
240
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,730
YOU EVER HAD TO LEAVE YOUR HOUSE
JUST TO GET ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER TO LEAVE?
241
00:09:38,734 --> 00:09:40,704
[APPLAUSE]
242
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,770
YOU WEREN'T EVEN
ABOUT TO GO NOWHERE.
243
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,227
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
244
00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:45,733
YOU BE LIKE, "HEY, MAN, I'M
ABOUT TO GO TO THE ZOO.
245
00:09:45,734 --> 00:09:47,574
"WHERE THE FUCK YOU
ABOUT TO GO, NIGGER?
246
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:50,267
LET'S GET THE FUCK UP
OUT OF HERE, NIGGER."
247
00:09:50,266 --> 00:09:51,666
"IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING."
248
00:09:51,667 --> 00:09:53,267
"I KNOW IT. I JUST WANT TO SEE
A MONKEY YAWN.
249
00:09:53,266 --> 00:09:54,726
I AIN'T NEVER SEEN..."
250
00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:56,734
WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT CALL
AND ASK TO COME OVER
251
00:09:56,734 --> 00:09:58,234
AND THEY ALREADY OUTSIDE?
252
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:00,803
DON'T THAT FUCK YOU UP?
NIGGER JUST BE LIKE...
253
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,070
[IMITATES PHONE RINGING]
254
00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:03,396
"HELLO?"
"YEAH, WHAT YOU ALL DOING TODAY?"
255
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,800
"CHILLING."
"I CAN COME OVER?"
256
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,100
"YEAH."
"OPEN THE DOOR."
257
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:07,600
"WHAT THE FUCK?
WHERE THE FUCK YOU AT?"
258
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,070
HEY, MAN, YOU ALL BE EASY. I'M
K-DUBB. YOU ALL HOLD IT DOWN.
259
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,626
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
260
00:10:16,934 --> 00:10:18,434
- THAT'S A FUNNY MOTHERFUCKER.
261
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:20,273
GIVE IT TO HIM ONE MORE TIME.
HE'S A FUNNY DUDE.
262
00:10:20,266 --> 00:10:21,666
[APPLAUSE]
263
00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:25,903
THAT'S THE KIND OF SHIT THAT
ONLY HAPPENS TO BLACK PEOPLE.
264
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:27,600
YOU EVER GO TO SOMEBODY'S HOUSE,
265
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,270
THE HOUSE SO FUNKY, THE PEOPLE
SMELL JUST LIKE THE HOUSE?
266
00:10:29,266 --> 00:10:31,066
YOU EVER DO THAT?
YOU LIKE, "HEY."
267
00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:32,596
A WHOLE BUNCH OF SHIT LIKE THAT,
268
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,300
THE KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
COMMERCIAL
269
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,530
WHERE THEY GOT THAT BIG BOWL
OF NASTY BULLSHIT.
270
00:10:36,533 --> 00:10:39,973
YOU HEAR OF IT?
THEY GOT MASHED POTATOES
271
00:10:39,967 --> 00:10:43,367
AND CHICKEN AND CORN, GRAVY,
AND CHEESE.
272
00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:45,297
WHO THOUGHT OF THE CHEESE SHIT?
273
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:48,200
ANYBODY WHO BUY THAT,
THE POLICE GONNA CHECK,
274
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,670
BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU HIGH.
275
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,167
YOU AIN'T GONNA JUST...
276
00:10:51,166 --> 00:10:54,766
"PULL OVER. NO ONE WOULD ORDER
THAT UNLESS THEY WERE FUCKED-UP.
277
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,297
NO ONE..."
278
00:10:58,133 --> 00:11:00,773
ALL RIGHT. IF YOU CAUGHT HIM
LAST SEASON ON "DEF COMEDY JAM,"
279
00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,727
YOU ALREADY KNOW HE'S ONE
OF THE ONES TO WATCH.
280
00:11:02,734 --> 00:11:06,634
ALL THE WAY FROM CHI-TOWN,
MY CAT, DeRAY DAVIS.
281
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,173
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
282
00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:09,626
[MUSIC PLAYING]
283
00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:21,266
- YEAH. PLAY
THAT GANGSTER.
284
00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:25,896
KID CAPRI, THAT'S THAT GANGSTER.
THAT'S THAT GANGSTER.
285
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:28,270
I FEEL DARK-SKINNED
WITH THAT SHIT ON, MAN.
286
00:11:29,567 --> 00:11:33,597
MM MM!
287
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,270
SHIT. LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.
FUCK IT.
288
00:11:37,266 --> 00:11:39,466
ALL THE WOMEN
IN HERE LOOKING GOOD.
289
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,197
DAMN! IT'S HARD FOR WOMEN
TO GO OUT, MAN.
290
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,270
LOOK AT THESE
MOTHERFUCKING WOMEN.
291
00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,126
L.A. A MONSTER.
292
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:48,803
THERE BE BEAUTIFUL BITCHES
WORKING AT McDONALD'S.
293
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,730
[LAUGHTER]
294
00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:55,774
"THIS AIN'T WHAT I DO ALL DAY."
295
00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:57,627
IT'S HARD FOR WOMEN.
IT'S HARD FOR Y'ALL TO GO OUT, AIN'T IT?
296
00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,133
IT'S HARD FOR
YOU ALL TO DANCE.
297
00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:00,973
YOU ALL EVER
LET DUDES DANCE ON YOU ALL?
298
00:12:00,967 --> 00:12:02,467
AND DUDES START SNAPPING.
299
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:04,527
I'M TRYING TO A DANCE ON
A BEAUTIFUL GIRL,
300
00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:07,703
I DO THE "I'LL
GET YOU PREGNANT DANCE."
301
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,300
OH, WOMEN, THAT SHIT AIN'T NEVER
HAPPENED TO YOU?
302
00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:11,300
NIGGER BE BEHIND YOU, LIKE,
"I'LL GET YOU PREGNANT, BITCH.
303
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,570
I GET YOU PREGNANT.
MY BALLS IS ON YOUR BACK."
304
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,967
HA HA.
305
00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:20,927
LOOK AT ALL THE HONEST MEN HERE.
WHAT'S UP, HONEST FELLAS?
306
00:12:20,934 --> 00:12:23,274
YOU LET YOUR GIRL CHECK
YOUR PHONE?
307
00:12:23,266 --> 00:12:24,296
HA HA HA!
308
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,430
HELL NO!
309
00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,773
WOMEN WILL NEVER GET
A NIGGER'S PHONE.
310
00:12:29,767 --> 00:12:31,427
YOU EVER TELL YOUR GIRL
TO CHECK YOUR PHONE,
311
00:12:31,433 --> 00:12:33,303
BUT YOU DON'T
BE MEANING THAT SHIT?
312
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:34,770
YOU'LL BE LIKE, "GO ON AHEAD.
YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?
313
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:36,767
"YOU DON'T BELIEVE
WHERE THE FUCK I WAS AT? CHECK MY SHIT.
314
00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:38,067
CHECK IT THERE."
315
00:12:38,066 --> 00:12:39,766
SHE REACH FOR IT,
YOU BE LIKE,
316
00:12:39,767 --> 00:12:40,927
"BITCH, WHY YOU GOT TO ALWAYS
CHECK THAT SHIT?
317
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,434
THIS IS ME YOU'RE TALKING TO."
318
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:44,603
TIME-OUT. SOME GIRLS.
319
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,100
YOU BE TURNING AROUND.
YOU BE ERASING NUMBERS.
320
00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,700
"ANYTIME. DON'T BELIEVE ME?"
321
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:57,430
HERE. GO ON AHEAD.
CHECK IT NOW. YOU CAN CHECK THAT SHIT NOW."
322
00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:59,973
WOMEN BE ON US.
323
00:12:59,967 --> 00:13:02,327
WOMEN DO NOT WANT US TO CHEAT.
324
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,233
"YOU'RE NOT CHEATING ON ME."
325
00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:07,133
Y'ALL BE ON MEN, DON'T YOU ALL?
326
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:09,333
THAT'S WHY YOUR WOMAN WILL NEVER
WANT YOU TO GO OUT,
327
00:13:09,333 --> 00:13:11,633
'CAUSE SHE DON'T WANT
YOU TO HAVE NO NEW GAME.
328
00:13:11,633 --> 00:13:13,233
DON'T FALL FOR THAT SHIT.
329
00:13:13,233 --> 00:13:14,903
THAT'S WHY WOMEN DON'T WANT
YOU IN THE CLUBS.
330
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,430
BECAUSE YOU OUT. YOU MACKING.
331
00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,903
YOU GOT NEW GAME. YOU GOT
NEW SHIT YOU'RE COMING WITH.
332
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:22,130
SHE WANTS YOU
TO STAY IN THE HOUSE, SO YOUR GAME GET OLD.
333
00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:24,533
[LAUGHTER]
334
00:13:24,533 --> 00:13:26,403
SO WHEN SHE BREAK UP
WITH YOUR ASS,
335
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:29,600
NOW YOU A YOUNG-FACED NIGGER
OUT THERE WITH OLD-ASS GAME.
336
00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:33,666
I'M IN THE CLUB WITH
THE GAME FROM 7 YEARS AGO.
337
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,797
"COME ON. MISS LADY, MISS LADY,
MISS LADY, MISS LADY.
338
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,100
"MISS LADY, MISS LADY,
339
00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:38,100
"SHORTY REDBONE, SHORTY REDBONE,
SHORTY REDBONE,
340
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,300
CAN I TALK TO YOU?"
341
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:48,097
I JUST TALK SHIT.
342
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,600
WOMEN, HEY, Y'ALL TRIP ME
IF YOU ALL WANT TO.
343
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,270
I'M NOT SHALLOW.
MOST MEN--I AIN'T LYING TO YOU--
344
00:13:51,266 --> 00:13:55,066
WE AIN'T NO SHALLOW PEOPLE.
WE'LL FUCK JUST ABOUT ANYTHING.
345
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,126
WOMEN, YOU ALL SHALLOW.
YOU ALL MEAN.
346
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,573
MEN AIN'T MEAN.
347
00:13:58,567 --> 00:13:59,967
WE SEE A GIRL--UGLY--
IN THE CLUB,
348
00:13:59,967 --> 00:14:01,797
LIKE, "LOOK AT THAT UGLY-ASS
BITCH WITH THE ASS."
349
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:06,127
WE FIND SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
ABOUT HER.
350
00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:07,973
"I'D STILL FUCK HER.
I'D FUCK HER. WHO WANT TO FUCK?
351
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:09,967
"I FUCK HER. IF AIN'T NOBODY
GONNA FUCK HER, I'LL FUCK.
352
00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:12,367
YOU AIN'T GONNA FUCK?
I'LL FUCK. I FEEL FUCK."
353
00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:14,227
'CAUSE THAT'S HOW MEN ARE.
354
00:14:14,233 --> 00:14:17,903
WE STILL THINK BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN, BLACK WOMEN, YOU'RE STILL BEAUTIFUL.
355
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,300
WE STILL LOOK AT YOU AND SHIT.
356
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:20,800
WOMEN, YOU ALL MEAN.
357
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,770
YOU ALL PLAY UGLY DUDE GAMES
IN THE CLUB.
358
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,197
YOU ALL SOME EVIL MOTHERFUCKERS.
359
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,730
YOU ALL BE IN THE CLUB
DOING SHIT LIKE THIS.
360
00:14:26,734 --> 00:14:29,134
YOU ALL BE LIKE, "HEY, GIRL,
HEY, GIRL, HEY, GIRL.
361
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,633
"THERE GO YOUR MAN RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S YOUR MAN!
362
00:14:30,633 --> 00:14:32,833
"NO! THAT'S YOUR MAN.
NO! THAT'S YOUR MAN.
363
00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:37,004
"SHE LIKE YOU. SHE LIKE YOU.
SHE LIKE YOU. SHE LIKE YOU.
364
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,930
NO! SHE LIKE YOU."
365
00:14:40,867 --> 00:14:44,767
NOW THIS UGLY MOTHERFUCKER
FOLLOW YOU TO YOUR CAR.
366
00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:52,667
"WHICH ONE OF YOU ALL BITCHES,
EH, LIKE ME?"
367
00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,397
WOMEN JUST LIE ABOUT
HOW MANY PEOPLE THEY BEEN WITH.
368
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,330
YOU ALL ARE SOME LYING
MOTHERFUCKERS, MAN.
369
00:14:56,333 --> 00:14:58,533
ASK YOUR WOMAN RIGHT NOW HOW
MANY PEOPLE SHE BEEN WITH,
370
00:14:58,533 --> 00:15:00,073
SHE CAN BE LIKE, SHE AIN'T GONNA
NEVER LEAVE THIS HAND.
371
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,926
[IMITATING WOMAN MUMBLING]
372
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,934
"ABOUT THIS MANY. THIS MANY."
373
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,200
YOU BE LIKE, "WHAT ABOUT THAT
LAST MOTHERFUCKER?"
374
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,630
"BUT HE DON'T COUNT."
375
00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:11,403
"WHY THE FUCK DON'T
HIS DICK COUNT?"
376
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:17,904
ARE WOMEN FAITHFUL ANYMORE?
377
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,070
- YEAH!
378
00:15:19,066 --> 00:15:20,566
- ARE THERE ANY FAITHFUL
WOMEN HERE, REALLY?
379
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,867
ARE THERE ANY FAITHFUL WOMEN?
380
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,397
[CROWD CHEERS]
381
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,230
HOW MANY WOMEN IN
A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW?
382
00:15:25,233 --> 00:15:26,733
YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW.
383
00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:28,134
YOU FAITHFUL TO YOUR MAN.
YOU LOVE HIM TO DEATH.
384
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:29,773
YOU'LL DO ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
385
00:15:29,767 --> 00:15:31,567
[APPLAUSE]
386
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:33,897
HE IS YOUR KING. MAKE SOME
NOISE IF HE IS YOUR KING AND YOU LOVE HIM TO DEATH.
387
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,270
[SCATTERED CHEERS
AND APPLAUSE]
388
00:15:36,266 --> 00:15:39,466
COOL. IF YOU LOVE YOUR
MAN RIGHT NOW...
389
00:15:39,467 --> 00:15:41,627
STAND UP FOR YOUR MAN RIGHT
NOW IF YOU LOVE YOUR MAN.
390
00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:45,973
[SCATTERED CHEERS]
391
00:15:45,967 --> 00:15:47,997
HEY, FELLAS, IF THEY
STAND UP THAT QUICK,
392
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,570
THEY'LL GO DOWN
ON THIS NIGGER'S DICK JUST LIKE THAT.
393
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:52,697
[WOMEN GROAN]
394
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,570
IT AIN'T TAKE SHIT
TO GET THEM UP.
395
00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:56,267
"STAND UP."
"I'LL STAND UP."
396
00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,700
HEY, Y'ALL, I'M DeRAY.
397
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,100
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
398
00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:08,033
- MAKING HIS FIRST APPEARANCE
ON "DEF COMEDY JAM,"
399
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:09,903
GIVE IT TO VARGUS MASON.
400
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,430
[CROWD CHEERS]
401
00:16:11,433 --> 00:16:12,873
- HEY, WHAT'S UP, Y'ALL?
402
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:13,867
[APPLAUSE]
403
00:16:13,867 --> 00:16:16,227
ALL RIGHT?
I'M GLAD TO BE HERE.
404
00:16:16,233 --> 00:16:20,073
PEOPLE OFTEN STOP ME
ON THE STREET,
405
00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:25,066
AND THEY SAY, "VARGUS,
WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A BROKE-ASS LENNY KRAVITZ?"
406
00:16:29,033 --> 00:16:32,203
I'LL ADMIT IT. I AM NOT
YOUR TYPICAL BLACK COMEDIAN.
407
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,830
I DON'T DO A LOT OF JOKES
ABOUT WHITE PEOPLE.
408
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,904
I'D LIKE TO, BUT I WAS BORN
IN DENVER, COLORADO.
409
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:42,967
IT'S HARD TO MAKE FUN
OF WHITE PEOPLE IF YOU FROM COLORADO,
410
00:16:42,967 --> 00:16:46,367
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DO
THE MAKE FUN OF WHITE PEOPLE VOICE.
411
00:16:46,367 --> 00:16:47,867
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
412
00:16:47,867 --> 00:16:50,197
IF I WANTED TO TALK WHITER
AT THIS POINT,
413
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,600
I'D HAVE TO BREAK OFF
INTO OLD ENGLISH.
414
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,270
[LAUGHTER]
415
00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:57,096
I'D HAVE TO DO JOKES LIKE,
416
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,770
"YEAH, YOU KNOW WHEN
BLACK PEOPLE HIT IT,
417
00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:01,897
WHEN WE MAKE LOVE, WE LIKE,
OOH, BABY, OOH, GIRL, YOU LIKE THAT, BABY.
418
00:17:01,900 --> 00:17:04,370
OOH, BABY."
419
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:05,927
WHEN WHITE PEOPLE HIT IT,
420
00:17:05,934 --> 00:17:07,274
THEY'RE LIKE...
421
00:17:07,266 --> 00:17:09,226
[EUROPEAN ACCENT]
"THESE ARE THE FORGERIES OF JEALOUSY."
422
00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:21,304
"AND NEVER SINCE THE MIDDLE
WINTER'S SPRING,
423
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:24,070
HAVE WE MET BY HILL,
DALE, FOREST, OR MEAD."
424
00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:28,397
"OH, HORATIO!"
425
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:36,396
I MADE SOME FUN OF SOME
WHITE PEOPLE, THOUGH, I HAVE.
426
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,070
I'VE MADE FUN OF, LIKE,
THE WHITE WOMEN WHO PUT ON TOO MUCH LIPSTICK.
427
00:17:40,066 --> 00:17:42,366
WHY DO SOME OF YOU ALL
DO THAT, THOUGH?
428
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,767
IS IT FUN?
429
00:17:45,667 --> 00:17:47,567
CAN YOU NOT STOP?
430
00:17:51,166 --> 00:17:53,166
WHEN YOU PUTTING IT ON,
IS IT LIKE,
431
00:17:53,166 --> 00:18:03,866
"MM-HMM. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH! OK!
OK! OHH! OHH! OHH! HA HA HA!
432
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:07,597
AHH! AHH."
433
00:18:08,867 --> 00:18:10,397
"PRETTY."
434
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:14,704
"SO PRETTY."
435
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:20,267
MAN, I DATED THIS GIRL,
WE WERE RUNNING LATE ONCE.
436
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,166
I WAS LIKE, "BABY, WE
GOT TO GO. WE GOT TO GET TO THE CLUB, BOO-BOO.
437
00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:23,966
COME ON. WE GOT TO GO."
438
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,867
"HOLD ON. LET ME GET MY
LIPSTICK. HOLD ON."
439
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:34,733
"OK. I'M READY TO GO."
440
00:18:34,734 --> 00:18:35,904
[LAUGHTER]
441
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,567
I DATED SOME CRAZY ONES.
442
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:45,567
THE WORST GIRL I EVER DATED
WAS THIS JAPANESE GIRL.
443
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:47,767
I'M GONNA WARN YOU ALL,
IF YOU EVER DATE
444
00:18:47,767 --> 00:18:52,397
ANOTHER RACE OR ANOTHER CREED
OR ANOTHER ZIP CODE...
445
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,630
DON'T TALK ABOUT
EACH OTHER'S PEOPLE.
446
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:57,273
THAT'S A RULE. YOU ARE
NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER'S PEOPLE.
447
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,266
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS ALL RIGHT
TO TALK ABOUT MY CULTURE.
448
00:18:59,266 --> 00:19:01,466
I DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
SHE WASN'T ALWAYS EVIL, THOUGH, RIGHT?
449
00:19:01,467 --> 00:19:03,927
IN THE BEGINNING, HAD A CUTE
LITTLE JAPANESE ACCENT.
450
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,434
SHE WAS LIKE...
451
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:10,733
"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, VARGUS.
452
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:15,904
YOU ARE MY SOUL-MATE.
I LOVE YOU."
453
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,500
IN THE END, SHE WAS LIKE,
454
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,200
"I, FUCKER, HATE YOU."
455
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:27,203
"YOU ARE SO BROKE, VARGUS.
WHY ARE YOU SO BROKE?
456
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,830
"YOU TAKE ME TO SHAKESPEARE
IN THE PARK.
457
00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:32,504
"YOU TAKE ME TO FREE DAY AT
THE MUSEUM.
458
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,970
I THOUGHT YOU WERE CULTURED.
YOU ARE JUST BROKE."
459
00:19:38,867 --> 00:19:40,567
"WELL, IT'S JUST
EXPENSIVE, BABY."
460
00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:42,467
"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN,
461
00:19:42,467 --> 00:19:47,497
I HAVE TO ORDER A VALUE MENU
THE REST OF MY LIFE?"
462
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,800
"VARGUS, IF YOU
ARE A BARRER,
463
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,400
IF YOU ARE BRING-BRING,
YOU DON'T ORDER VALUE MENU."
464
00:19:57,133 --> 00:19:59,903
"WELL, SHIT. WHY DON'T
YOU PAY FOR SOMETHING SOMETIMES. DAMN."
465
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:04,800
"VARGUS, WHAT THE FUCK
ARE CHITRINS?"
466
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,530
[LAUGHTER]
467
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:10,903
"CAN YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN
THE CHITRINS TO ME?"
468
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:18,030
"WHY DO CHITRINS
SMELL SO BAD, VARGUS?
469
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:23,973
THEY SMELL
LIKE ASS, VARGUS. WHY?"
470
00:20:23,967 --> 00:20:25,597
"WELL, THEY'RE PIG
INTESTINES, BABY."
471
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,270
"PIG ASS?! YOU MAKE
ME EAT A PIG ASS?
472
00:20:29,266 --> 00:20:33,626
"YOU BROKE CHITLIN-EATING
VALUE-MENUING MOTHERFUCKER! CAN'T STAND YOUR BLACK ASS!
473
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,673
I LEAVE YOU NOW. BYE!"
474
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:41,967
[APPLAUSE]
475
00:20:41,967 --> 00:20:43,797
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
476
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,300
ALL RIGHT.
477
00:20:45,300 --> 00:20:49,230
BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
I'M A SENSITIVE BROTHER, RIGHT?
478
00:20:49,233 --> 00:20:50,803
I'M A SENSITIVE BROTHER.
479
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,130
I COULDN'T HANG
WHEN I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF IN THE MIRROR.
480
00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:53,633
I WAS LIKE, "IT'S
ALL RIGHT, MAN. YOU A LONE WOLF.
481
00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:57,603
"YOU DON'T NEED NOBODY.
YOU A LONE WOLF, MAN.
482
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,230
OH, SHIT. YOU CAME BACK."
483
00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:02,303
"I, FUCKER, HATE YOU."
484
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,870
"WHY'D YOU COME BACK?"
485
00:21:03,867 --> 00:21:05,027
"I JUST WANT TO SAY IT
ONE MORE TIME.
486
00:21:05,033 --> 00:21:06,633
FUCKER, I HATE YOU. BYE."
487
00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:11,333
"ALL RIGHT. WHY YOU
STILL HERE, THEN?"
488
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:14,773
"BECAUSE I STILL FIND
YOU MANLY AND SEXY."
489
00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:22,304
I'M SORRY. GIVE ME A SECOND.
490
00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:26,200
[CHUCKLING]
491
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,600
[LAUGHTER]
492
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,500
SHUT UP. IT COULD HAPPEN.
HOLD ON.
493
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,400
HA HA!
494
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,430
"YOU NEED ME TO BREAK YOU
OFF A LITTLE SOMETHING BEFORE YOU GO, BABY?"
495
00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:41,103
"YES. BREAK ME OFF
SOMETHING-SOMETHING."
496
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,700
[IMITATES KISSING SOUNDS]
497
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:45,330
"OH, I LOVE YOU LONG TIME."
498
00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:47,673
[IMITATES KISSING SOUNDS]
499
00:21:47,667 --> 00:21:51,097
"MY VAGINA IS TOKYO.
YOUR PENIS IS GODZIRRA."
500
00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:53,970
[IMITATES KISSING SOUNDS]
501
00:21:53,967 --> 00:21:55,997
THAT'S MY TIME.
I'M VARGUS MASON.
502
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,800
GOD BLESS YOU.
503
00:22:03,433 --> 00:22:05,003
- WELL, THEY SAY YOU SAVE
THE BEST FOR LAST.
504
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,630
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT WE DID.
505
00:22:06,633 --> 00:22:09,233
A WASHINGTON, D.C.,
NATIVE GUARANTEED TO BLOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
506
00:22:09,233 --> 00:22:11,903
MY CAT, EARTHQUAKE.
507
00:22:11,900 --> 00:22:13,400
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
508
00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:25,267
- YES, YES. WHAT'S UP, L.A.?
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
509
00:22:25,266 --> 00:22:26,296
[CROWD CHEERS]
510
00:22:26,300 --> 00:22:27,330
ALL RIGHT.
511
00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:30,273
SEE YOUR ASS UP IN HERE.
512
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:33,966
I SWEAR, I LOVE L.A., MAN.
I LOVE YOU ALL's ASS.
513
00:22:33,967 --> 00:22:37,527
I LOVE YOUR WEATHER,
BECAUSE IT STAY HOT DOWN HERE.
514
00:22:37,533 --> 00:22:41,433
I CAN DEAL WITH THE HEAT. IT'S
THAT COLD I CAN'T FUCK WITH.
515
00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:44,273
I WAS IN CHICAGO SHOOTING
THIS MOVIE.
516
00:22:44,266 --> 00:22:46,996
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW ANYBODY
COULD BE IN CHICAGO
517
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,430
IN THE WINTERTIME.
518
00:22:48,433 --> 00:22:51,033
THAT SHIT OUGHT
TO BE AGAINST THE LAW.
519
00:22:51,033 --> 00:22:55,873
I'M SERIOUS. I WAS HIDING
FROM THE GOD DAMN COLD LIKE IT WAS THE POLICE.
520
00:22:55,867 --> 00:22:58,797
I COME OUTSIDE. "DAMN! THAT
MOTHERFUCKER STILL OUT THERE."
521
00:23:00,734 --> 00:23:03,574
"I AIN'T SEEN THE SUN
IN 3 MONTHS.
522
00:23:03,567 --> 00:23:06,997
THIS MOTHERFUCKER MUST HAVE
GOT A RESTRAINING ORDER."
523
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,970
BUT IN CHICAGO,
I'LL TELL YOU, MAN,
524
00:23:08,967 --> 00:23:16,167
THAT GOD DAMN WINTER BE
ON YOUR ASS LIKE A SUPERVISOR.
525
00:23:16,166 --> 00:23:20,896
IT'S SO COLD IN CHICAGO,
IT MAKE HOMELESS PEOPLE FIND THEY FAMILIES.
526
00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:25,327
NIGGER BE GOOGLING, "OH,
THAT'S WHERE MY MAMA MOVED TO.
527
00:23:25,333 --> 00:23:29,573
"OK, MAMA, YOU WERE RIGHT.
I'LL DO MY HOMEWORK. SHIT!
528
00:23:29,567 --> 00:23:32,327
JUST LET ME GET MY ROOM BACK."
529
00:23:32,333 --> 00:23:36,273
IT'S SO COLD IN CHICAGO,
I SEEN A DOG WEARING A DOG.
530
00:23:36,266 --> 00:23:40,666
A PIT BULL HAD A POODLE
AROUND HIS NECK.
531
00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:44,227
HE WAS LIKE, "I WAS GOING TO EAT
THIS MOTHERFUCKER, BUT, SHIT!"
532
00:23:44,233 --> 00:23:50,273
IT'S SO COLD IN CHICAGO,
ILLEGAL ALIENS JUST TURNED THEIRSELF IN.
533
00:23:50,266 --> 00:23:58,396
"I'M NOT FROM HERE.
DEPORT ME. I KNOW THE RULES. THIS AIN'T ARIZONA.
534
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:03,600
I CAN'T MAKE NO MONEY.
LOOKIT, ALL THESE GOD DAMN FRUITS IS FROZEN."
535
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,130
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, ALL RIGHT?
536
00:24:05,133 --> 00:24:06,803
HEY, LISTEN TO ME,
THERE'S ILLEGAL ALIEN SHIT.
537
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,800
IMMIGRATION, I DON'T UNDERSTAND
THAT SHIT PERSONALLY.
538
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,300
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK HOW MANY
PEOPLE SNEAK UP IN THIS COUNTRY.
539
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:13,570
I ALREADY GOT MY APARTMENT.
540
00:24:15,967 --> 00:24:19,227
BUT I THINK IT'S REAL FUCKED UP
YOU GONNA TELL A MEXICAN,
541
00:24:19,233 --> 00:24:22,573
WHO LIVE IN MEXICO,
HE CAN'T GO TO NEW MEXICO.
542
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:28,066
I THINK WE JUST FUCKING
WITH THEM.
543
00:24:28,066 --> 00:24:29,866
BUT IT'S GOOD TO BE
BLACK RIGHT NOW
544
00:24:29,867 --> 00:24:31,567
BECAUSE THAT IMMIGRATION
SHIT IS HOT,
545
00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:32,967
BUT THEY CAN'T PUT
THAT SHIT ON US,
546
00:24:32,967 --> 00:24:34,597
BECAUSE THIS IS
THE FIRST TIME EVER
547
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,570
SHIT IS GOING WRONG,
NIGGERS, AND WE AIN'T THE SUSPECT.
548
00:24:37,567 --> 00:24:38,797
[APPLAUSE]
549
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,700
'CAUSE YOU CAN'T SAY WE SNUCK
IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
550
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:45,970
WE HAD A RIDE.
551
00:24:45,967 --> 00:24:50,467
YEAH, IT WAS A FUCKED-UP RIDE,
BUT IT WAS A RIDE.
552
00:24:50,467 --> 00:24:52,867
BUT WHAT'S THE NUMBER-ONE
EXCUSE, WHAT THEY SAY RIGHT NOW?
553
00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:54,397
WHAT'S THE NUMBER-ONE EXCUSE
WHY THEY SAY
554
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,270
THEY CANNOT DEPORT
ILLEGAL ALIENS?
555
00:24:56,266 --> 00:25:00,266
'CAUSE ILLEGAL ALIENS
ARE DOING JOBS THAT EVEN BLACK PEOPLE WOULDN'T DO.
556
00:25:00,266 --> 00:25:02,966
ALL RIGHT? THAT'S BULLSHIT.
557
00:25:02,967 --> 00:25:06,197
THEY ARE DOING JOBS THAT
I WOULDN'T DO FOR THOSE PRICES.
558
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:07,170
[APPLAUSE]
559
00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:12,567
"NOW, I'LL SELL
SOME ORANGES, NIGGER,
560
00:25:12,567 --> 00:25:15,267
"BUT I NEED MORE
THAN $5.00 A BAG.
561
00:25:15,266 --> 00:25:18,026
"I CAN'T KEEP MY WOMAN
WITH NO ORANGE STAND.
562
00:25:18,033 --> 00:25:20,573
THAT BITCH WILL LEAVE ME."
563
00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:24,427
"AND I'LL CUT YOUR GRASS,
BUT YOU NEED TO HAVE YOUR OWN LAWN MOWER.
564
00:25:24,433 --> 00:25:26,233
"YOU'RE THE NIGGER
WITH THE BIG-ASS YARD.
565
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:28,873
WHY WOULD YOU BUY THAT HOUSE
WITHOUT A LAWN MOWER?"
566
00:25:30,567 --> 00:25:32,227
THAT'S SOME BULLSHIT.
567
00:25:32,233 --> 00:25:34,533
AND I DON'T KNOW WHO
YOU NIGGERS ARE WHO ARE TALKING ABOUT,
568
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,933
"LET'S GO BACK TO AFRICA."
569
00:25:36,934 --> 00:25:39,434
BUT AFTER SEEING "HOTEL RWANDA"
570
00:25:39,433 --> 00:25:43,503
AND "BLOOD DIAMOND," NIGGER,
YOU CAN SELL MY TICKET.
571
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,270
[LAUGHTER]
572
00:25:45,266 --> 00:25:47,866
"I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE, NIGGER.
573
00:25:47,867 --> 00:25:51,227
"I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES
WITH THE KLAN.
574
00:25:51,233 --> 00:25:54,773
"I CAN OUTRUN A FAT WHITE-NECK
REDNECK MOTHERFUCKER,
575
00:25:54,767 --> 00:25:56,427
BUT I CAN'T OUTRUN NO TUTUS."
576
00:25:56,433 --> 00:25:58,333
THEM NIGGERS GONNA BE
BULLSHIT.
577
00:25:58,333 --> 00:26:01,073
[APPLAUSE]
578
00:26:01,066 --> 00:26:03,726
THEM MOTHERFUCKERS
WILL CATCH MY BLACK ASS.
579
00:26:03,734 --> 00:26:05,474
I'M ALL OUT OF SHAPE, TOO.
580
00:26:05,467 --> 00:26:06,927
THEM MOTHERFUCKERS
WILL CATCH ME.
581
00:26:06,934 --> 00:26:10,574
"BEFORE YOU KILL ME, TUTU,
I GOT ONE QUESTION.
582
00:26:10,567 --> 00:26:13,727
"HOW DID YOU GET
DOWN THAT HILL SO FAST...
583
00:26:13,734 --> 00:26:16,974
"WITH FLIP-FLOPS ON?
584
00:26:16,967 --> 00:26:20,827
"HERE I GOT ON ADIDAS, NIGGER,
AND YOU DONE CAUGHT ME
585
00:26:20,834 --> 00:26:25,074
BEFORE I GOT
TO THE GOD DAMN TREE."
586
00:26:25,066 --> 00:26:27,566
THAT'S WHY IT'S GOOD
TO BE BLACK.
587
00:26:27,567 --> 00:26:30,797
BUT IT'S SERIOUS SHIT.
588
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,430
BUT IT'S GOOD.
589
00:26:32,433 --> 00:26:34,273
I SAY "BLACK." I DON'T
SAY "AFRICAN AMERICAN,"
590
00:26:34,266 --> 00:26:36,066
BECAUSE I AIN'T INTO
THAT SHIT NO MORE.
591
00:26:36,066 --> 00:26:38,226
I DON'T LIKE HOW WE GOING
AS AFRICAN AMERICANS.
592
00:26:38,233 --> 00:26:39,673
CERTAIN SHIT, DON'T FUCK WITH.
593
00:26:39,667 --> 00:26:41,167
JUST LIKE THAT IMUS SHIT.
594
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:43,096
EVERYBODY GOT MAD
ABOUT IMUS SHIT.
595
00:26:43,100 --> 00:26:44,600
I'M GONNA TELL YOU THE TRUTH.
596
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,470
WHEN I FIRST HEARD
THE SHIT, NIGGER, I LAUGHED,
597
00:26:47,467 --> 00:26:50,067
BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT NOBODY THINK ABOUT ME
598
00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,896
BUT ONE PERSON. THAT'S GOD.
599
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,930
BUT AS BLACK PEOPLE,
THIS SHIT IS TRIPPING ME OUT.
600
00:26:53,934 --> 00:26:56,274
WHO MADE ME MAD
WAS AL SHARPTON,
601
00:26:56,266 --> 00:26:58,366
BECAUSE HE GOT ON TV,
TALKING ABOUT,
602
00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:01,527
"IMUS SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
THEM GIRLS WAS NOT HOS
603
00:27:01,533 --> 00:27:04,533
BECAUSE THEY WENT
TO THE UNIVERSITY OF RUTGERS."
604
00:27:04,533 --> 00:27:07,933
I WAS LIKE, "HEY, THERE'S SOME
HOS THAT GO TO RUTGERS."
605
00:27:07,934 --> 00:27:10,504
I'M EARTHQUAKE.
I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER.
606
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:11,930
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
607
00:27:20,166 --> 00:27:21,996
- ONE MORE TIME. EARTHQUAKE!
608
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,830
[APPLAUSE]
609
00:27:23,834 --> 00:27:26,004
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
WELL, ACT LIKE IT.
610
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,330
STAND UP AND LET US
KNOW ABOUT IT, Y'ALL.
611
00:27:28,333 --> 00:27:30,703
AND GIVE IT UP FOR THE MAN
THAT PUT THIS TOGETHER--
612
00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:32,900
MR. RUSSELL SIMMONS!
613
00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:35,830
[CROWD CHEERING]
614
00:27:35,834 --> 00:27:38,104
- THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT.
GOD BLESS YOU. GOOD NIGHT.
615
00:27:38,100 --> 00:27:41,100
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
HOME BOX OFFICE, INC.
616
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:44,100
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--
617
00:27:55,233 --> 00:27:56,873
♪ BREAK IT DOWN! ♪
618
00:27:56,867 --> 00:27:58,267
[RECORD SCRATCHING]
619
00:27:58,266 --> 00:28:04,626
♪ BREAK-BR-B-B-B-B-BR-BR-BR-BR-
BR-BR-BREAK IT DOWN ♪
620
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:07,803
♪ BR-B-B-B-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-
B-B-B-B ♪
621
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,600
♪ BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-
BREAK ♪
622
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:11,570
♪ BREAK IT DOWN ♪
623
00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:15,367
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DOWN ♪
624
00:28:15,367 --> 00:28:16,367
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D ♪
625
00:28:16,367 --> 00:28:19,067
♪ D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D ♪
626
00:28:19,066 --> 00:28:22,896
♪ D-D-D-D-B-B-BREAK-BREAK ♪
627
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:25,570
♪ BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-BREAK-
BREAK ♪
628
00:28:25,567 --> 00:28:27,127
♪ BREAK IT DOWN ♪
629
00:28:27,177 --> 00:28:31,727
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