All language subtitles for Behind Closed Doors s01e06.eng

CROWD: Jean-Claude! Jean-Claude!
Jean-Claude!

Jean-Claude Van Damme...

..martial arts legend...

Nice kick, huh?

..action hero.

His movies have grossed over $700 million

in a career spanning over 25 years.

But now it's time to discover the real man
behind the macho image...

I've got nothing to hide any more.

..as he allows cameras total access
into his extraordinary world.

Aah!

- Aargh!
- (Laughter)

- This is an intimate portrait...
- Love you, baby.

..of an international movie star
as you have never seen him before.

I don't see Sly or Steven Seagal doing that.

We're up close and personal
as he bares his soul...

The world is going bad.

Everything is dying around us.

I believe the end's soon.

..and gives us an unprecedented look
into the mind of a movie legend.

I pray to save the world.

See?

God loves me.

(Laughs) I'll talk to you later.

Coming up...

- (Horn blares)
- What do you want?

..Jean-Claude's rubbed up
the wrong way in LA...

- See?
- Let it go.

..he's vexed in Vancouver...

I will not lose this fight!

"You're not like that." Of course I'm like that!

Oh!

That's the first time he laid eyes on me.

..and some glamour shots of Gladys
set his pulse racing.

- I used to masturbate...
- Oh, stop it!

Oh! Don't.

You never knew this?

Over the years, Jean-Claude has had
his brushes with the rock'n'roll lifestyle

and it's taken its toll.

The Muscles From Brussels.

Now, having just turned 50,

he 's planning a Rocky Balboa-style
comeback fight...

30 years after he last fought competitively.

Nice kick, huh?

He wants to take on Olympic boxing champion,

and formidable kickboxer Somluck Kamsing,

a man 1 2 years his junior.

Jean-Claude is keen to prove he can be
a lean, mean fighting machine once again.

I need to win. I have to win this fight.

If I don't win, it's a catastrophe for me.

He's been planning the fight for two years,

but is becoming frustrated
that it hasn't been organised yet.

Watch out for your head.

So today, he and wife Gladys are in LA,

meeting Bob Arum, one of the world's
top fight promoters.

I met the guy in Vegas. He said, "Yes. "
Now I need a date. It's that simple.

For Bob to come all the way
out here to see him means a lot.

So...that's what I see.

- I think he came specially from Vegas, yeah?
- That's what I think, too.

Today I'm gonna say, "Look...

maybe I don't know how that goes
in the fighting world,

but I cannot do no more. I'm like this, Bob."

I would be the same way as well.

- But it'll be fine.
- Today it may be emotional.

Today I'm saying,
"Look, I cannot take any more."

It may be emotional. I'm not joking.

I was always a fighter. He doesn't...

He knows me as the karate guy.
He never saw me really spar in Belgium.

For Jean-Claude, the fight is about more
than just beating his opponent.

I've got this beautiful machine
and it's like I'm not using it any more.

- I just need it. I need to race.
- Yeah, you need to race.

It's like a horse who needs to race
and he was a racehorse for years.

They put him in the stable - which is movie -

but now want to go back to the wild...

(Mimics hooves trotting)

Just want to go back where I came from.

What gave me Bloodsport, Kickboxer...

..and I wanted to do it...

I wanted to do in a big way.

Basically, you're a stallion that's been
in shackles for so many years

and finally the shackles are off
and you're running free.

- That your new car?
- That's my old car.

- That's five years old.
- The Porsche?

- Yeah.
- Love it.

As the Van Dammes arrive at Bob Arum's
home,

they're met by Jean-Claude's attorney Sam.

They hope that today they can fix a fight date.

The fight has got to be well promoted.

- Oh, yeah.
- But I need you, Bob.

- I need you.
- Don't worry. Don't worry.

I want to bring it to Showtime and HBO.

- Show it to them on CBS.
- We can make it even better...

The best part of this is the opponent,

that you see the opponent
and he's not a joke...

- No, no, no.
- That he's very good...

You see when he faces me...

And when he's hitting the pads with his feet,
yeah, that's terrific.

And he's from Thailand...

and that's a big thing.

- "Wan Damme."
- I love it.

He's a tiger, you know. "Wan Damme."

It's Van Damme. This cool guy.
He's a very nice guy, by the way.

- He's a very nice person.
- Yeah.

Now, what are the...the rounds?

How many minutes in a round?
Three minutes?

- Three, two minutes...
- I think it's two-minute rounds.

Two-minute rounds?
And how many rounds do you do?

- 1 2 rounds. That's good, no?
- 1 2 rounds.

Whatever the Association says.

I'll bring over... You know,
we'll get the Muay Thai officials to be...

cos Chinese...

So I will bring this guy to you
and you will talk to him.

- Yeah, we'll work it out.
SAM: I think we got it.

Listen, October, Macau or Singapore...
and that's it.

- But the 1 5th we prefer, right?
- Yeah.

- Whatever day...
- lt'd be a Saturday.

Mid-October is perfect.

- It's gonna happen, right?
- Yeah, it's gonna happen.

So... OK.

All right. Thank you very much.
I'm gonna follow through with everything.

Thank you, sir.

Despite Bob's optimism,
Jean-Claude isn't completely happy.

We don't have a contract yet.

So I don't believe it until we have a contract.

It's not a good time
to get on his bad side.

- Beautiful. That's new.
- (Horn blares)

- What do you want?!
- You moved to the left.

What do you...
What did he want, this piece of shit?

- He did that to me.
- Leave it alone.

- Why is he doing that to me?
- Let it go. OK?

- They don't know who it is.
- No, it's not that.

No, they don't. Stop it and let it go.

- Look, you see?
- Let it go.

- Let it go.
- Drama.

You know, whatever.

Don't drive fast.

Don't play the game.

This is what happens with road rage, OK?
Cut it out.

- Stick this in your ass, you piece of shit.
- Stop it!

- It doesn't make any sense.
- Are you an idiot?

- There, by the way?
- Yeah, left.

No, it's Beverly.

Let it go. OK?

Let it go, I said.
He's not gonna see you fight.

Let it go, I said.

OK, green.

All this stuff and all the shit they're doing,
all that stuff,

and then when you go for it,

when you make an insult to people...

I hate it when people...
I'm so respectful to people...

But when you show a finger...
They show me the finger!

Yeah, but it mean "put this in your ass".

You don't do this in...
I live in Hong Kong.

- I'm not accustomed to this any more.
- OK. Let it go.

- Piece of...
- Stop!

- Please.
- Come on, you don't do this to people.

Imagine if I have a child next to me
and he see that.

- He's young and stupid.
- I hate that stuff.

- He's young and stupid, that's all it is.
- Look at him.

No, stop.

- He's...
- Can you stop?

OK. It's a family thing.

This evening, Jean-Claude and Gladys
are in their Vancouver penthouse.

Ta-da!

She's preparing some movie posters
for him to sign for fans,

while he 's on a business call.

GLADYS: He was so beautiful.

He still is beautiful, though.

A few wrinkles here and there but that's OK.

We age gracefully.

Jean-Claude is hearing some bad news

about the sequel to Bloodsport,

the action movie that turned him into
a Hollywood superstar.

The writer of Bloodsport - the writer -

decide Van Damme should not be in
Bloodsport.

I think he's not there.

It's like saying Stallone is not in Rambo
and Rocky.

- And Rambo's still going.
- They thought he was too old.

They thought he was like the old man,

so he took the two projects on his own.

He roll his sleeves and he's back.

But I tell you what. Because of that...

Because of them refusing me to go in movies,
like that,

- I am pissed.
- I know.

But it's giving me now so much power
to go into that fight

and to knock him out.

Somluck.

I'm gonna win this fight.
That's all I can tell you.

This woman been with me...

for years.

When I was nobody.

When I was driving taxi and I stole food
in the market because I didn't have any money.

I even stole my first birth test

where we find out she was pregnant
with Kristopher...in her tummy.

Then I left this woman because I did go
on the Hollywood lifestyle.

I didn't know the jewel I was having.

I'm so happy that Gladys forgave me for...

my mistakes.

Nobody's perfect.

You are close to being perfect to me,

but believe me...I'm so happy.

I'm... I'm blessed.

But me, I didn't forgive myself yet.

I did not. I'm living with that problem
in my heart.

I'm living with the scar.
I want to take those scars away.

The only way I can take those scars away
is to fight and to win.

So I can show Hollywood that...that it's over.

- I cannot lose the fight. I'm a champion.
- Relax.

I will not lose this fight!

"You're not like that." Of course I'm like that!

- I know, but don't.
- Don't what?

- Do that.
- You're interrupting me.

I talk about this to my heart.

- Stop, Gladys.
- No.

He's so pissed. Oh, my God.

He feels he has to...
I won't say prove...

..but he wants for his kids again
to see him as...

The kids love him, but he feels that he needs
to have his kids see him as a hero -

everybody's a hero and he is still.

But he's not the only one
that has touched drugs in his life.

A lot of people in the industry
have touched drugs.

But he's being tormented by it and it's sad.

I know him like no other knows.

I know the guy's very capable by 1 00 per cent,
1 01 per cent.

So...

You OK, babe?

I know.

If all the people don't believe in God...

any types of God...

(Blows nose)

..without God, I'm nothing.

After five, six years of being in Los Angeles...

I was pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing
and nothing happened.

And pushing, pushing to a point I was over.

So I fell down into the floor
in Norton Avenue.

I just fell down like a bag of potatoes.

It's almost like God pushed me
and pushed me to see...

God wanted to see how much
he can push a human being.

I try my best...

People are making fun of me in Belgium

cos I work with...

They say, "He's the punching ball
of Chuck Norris. He's this. He's that.

He's all that stuff and..."

And they make fun of my father.
"How's your son doing,

the punching ball of Chuck Norris? "

I was too upset to go to the gym.

I gave up everything.
I gave up my dog.

I gave up my bird.
It was a talking bird.

They both die of sadness.
I will never forgive myself.

My dog took all his hair away.
Same for my bird that died.

And they know this. I came back in Belgium,
and they know they die.

I gave up two animals for this...

..and then...the phone ring.

I pick up the phone and...

..Menahem Golan called me
and he said, "Pass by the office."

And I did go to the office and...

(Blows nose)

..and that Bloodsport happened
and made me famous.

I put all that...

..all the karate I knew and...

all the rage, I put this in the movie.

I put everything. I was going, "Aargh,"
with cavities, you know.

All these Americans have white teeth
and all perfect.

I was a rage. I did everything.

And now they don't want to put me
in Bloodsport 2?

Let them do their Hollywood Bloodsport.

My first Bloodsport was a real Bloodsport.

It was not CGl. Was not cable.
Was not trampoline. Was real hit.

And I work with some young men
that were there for me.

I work 20 hours a day.
We closed the door of the studio.

We did the final fighting in half a day.

Half a day for a final fight!

Half a day! Four cameras. Low angle.

Let's go. One shot. Wide angle.

Half a day! They need two days,
three weeks for a fight!

I think...

Mama, look...

I'm sorry.

I just... I blew up.

Some people gonna like this

but, normally, people don't like when I scream.

I'm sorry.

You don't have to apologise.

It's because of God I'm gonna win this fight.

I'll show you God exist.

Last night Jean-Claude lost his temper

when he discovered he wouldn't be appearing in
the remake of his blockbuster movie Bloodsport.

(Sings happily)

But today's a new day and he 's focused
on planning his comeback fight

with the Muay Thai kickboxing champion
Somluck Kamsing.

So I'm gonna fight because I want to fight,

and it's good for my health anyway.

It's gonna be like a complete cleanup.

And also, mentally, I will forgive myself

for the boo-boos I did in the past, finally.

If you see me lose,

it means I'm gonna feel like ashamed...

..of losing.

And I'm afraid...

I'm going to lose respect from the audience,

all those karate fans...

Look, if I was 25, 26, and I go into that ring
with those legs...

from the past...

..only hitting his guard...

Bam!..I smash the meat.

I'm double 25.

Always bring back the age. Always, always...

I have to tell you, like, when you're 50,
your lungs and your capacity is not the same.

If you get hit by this guy at the age of 50,

you don't recoup the same as a young man.

So I've got to fight from a distance
and if I lose that fight, my God.

Jean-Claude wants to show Gladys
a promotional video he's made

featuring his opponent.

- I play here?
- Push play.

That's it.

(Dramatic music)

Van Damme...

(Grunting)

Van Damme!

You've got to get with it, OK?
This is not a joke.

- You see.
- You know I don't curse.

- I told you...
- So what the frick, get Claude here now!

- What are you doing?
- We should send that to Claude.

Claude is the Belgian trainer who first turned
Jean-Claude into the Muscles From Brussels.

- You see?
- "We should send that to Claude."

Claude should be here with us now.
I'd start calculating if I was Claude.

See, now I've got a butterfly
because I think about this.

Every day, you should be doing this.

It will not be easy, guys.

- Of course not, but...
- You have to train in between everything.

You need Claude. When you're done shooting
that scene, "Let's do this. OK, next."

Time's a-wasting now.
You see what I'm saying?

You know, even if he's doing his movies
in between,

he should be having his coach here.

Even if it's in between sets
or in between shitting -

I don't care what it is -
he needs to be training 24/7.

No excuses. No time.
There's no losers around him and stuff.

It's finished.

Jean-Claude puts a call in to Claude.

(Speaks French)

Bye.

Your training...

You've got to focus to train in one location.

Should be...Iocked up for three months,
four months,

and just focus on one location.

The guy's gonna train in Thailand in his farm.

(Clucks like a chicken)

- You saw his camp?
- Yeah.

It's under metal roof.

When the sun is hitting, it's no air-conditioning.

He work... You see him with dumbbells.

It's not like you see with robes...and vitamins.

This guy's fighting is like the old-fashioned way.

Me, too. So it's like two old-fashioned guys.

I train in the mountain, with Claude in the forest.

He train in the mountain... (Mimics bird)
..in Thailand.

We'll meet in Las Vegas
where it's like super luxurious.

I don't go Mexico, go with this guy,
go with this trainer.

- I don't do that. One guy and I fight.
- Get whatever you can.

Save it for later. Put them in between.

But location should be one.
Hibernation should be one.

You make me nervous.
Let Claude do his job.

You do your job and I'll do my job.

I fight. You stand next to me.
You fit me good and you keep me company.

- Claude train me. Max do the...
- That's fine but it's in one location.

Huh?

Think he's gonna come as a champion.

Imagine if he lose against a movie star.

It's like if he's doing a film with me
and suddenly his acting is impeccable

and he take me over on acting
and that's his first movie.

What am I gonna feel like? You know?

Jean-Claude first met Gladys 27 years ago
on a photo shoot in Mexico,

when she was a professional bodybuilder.

Let me see the memories from the past.

- Oh, la-la, la-la, la-la!
- Watch the reflection.

Gladys Portugues.

- (Chuckles)
- Hey, don't mess with me!

- We have to get back in shape.
- Oh, my God, you're beautiful there.

- That's why you married me.
- I know.

A Ms Olympia finalist,

Gladys was a cover girl
on health and beauty magazines.

- Sold the most covers ever.
- I love that shot.

- You know why she sold the most?
- You're so vicious.

This. That little bum there. This is like...

So, see, I was shooting good covers.

But I stopped everything, but that's OK.

Martine was the photographer.

- That's Shape magazine.
- Sold many.

You put all those magazines on...

Because you were so hot,
you put them on top.

So, guys, to show you...

..at that time...when I was...
How old I was when I met you?

Oh, my gosh. Maybe 20.

I was born in '60. I was 25.

- When I was 25-years-old...
- No, you were younger.

You were younger, cos I was about 25.

- 24, 25.
- So...

I schtoop this.

Yeah. Hey. Some people are lucky.

- Oh, that's nice to say!
- Sorry, guys.

(Gladys laughs)

Sorry, guys, but I was with this...

..and sometimes - sorry, girls,
got to respect everybody.

The couple met in their early 20s,
when Jean-Claude was based in LA

and Gladys lived more than 2, 000 miles away
in New York.

When I met Gladys, right,

in the... Mexican photo shoot,

I was completely in love with her
but she didn't...

- I wanted to date her but she didn't.
- No.

So back and forth LA-New York, New York-LA,
cost me a fortune to go. Coach, of course.

But I was going back and forth with her
and I was hoping...

So I received this.

- I used to masturbate...
- Oh, stop it!

- Oh! Don't say that.
- You never knew this?

- No.
- Now you know.

- The full world know.
- That's kind of like, "Hello! You can't say that."

- Why?
- Because.

It was about this, this.

All the legs. Look at this.

- Here. This. All the muscle...
- But the kids are watching. Don't say that.

What? Oh, that's right!

Bleep!

That's the shot. The next shot.

- It's upside down.
- Oh.

- Oh!
- That's the first time he laid eyes on me.

See? The first time he laid eyes on me.

That's when I met Gladys.

To me, that's the most sexiest picture she's got.

So, Gladys was a babe, but what was
her first impression of Jean-Claude?

Black socks below the calf.

- Shh.
- OK? Frickin' brown loafers.

- OK? They were like brown.
- OK, OK.

No, wait a minute. Then you had...

Then you had these green, high,
short khaki shorts that were green.

- With suspenders.
- Army green.

Then he had a black tank top
with frickin' um...

brown suspenders and stuff.

- To show my muscle.
- And a briefcase.

And that shot that you saw
with the elephant rock or whatever,

he's coming by and I see him...

No, I have a briefcase with me.

- Yeah.
- A Samsonite briefcase.

And you were with Michelle.

- Yeah, I was...
- And then you went like this.

- No, no, no.
- "Hi. My name is Jean-Claude Van Damme."

And I'm going...

- "And I know you..."
- OK. Yeah.

I said, "And I'm in the film business,"
or something like that.

- I didn't have any movies!
- Meanwhile the photographer is shooting me.

Wait. I was in the middle of a photo session...

I interrupted. I think you fell in love with me then.

When I saw you, my stomach went
like a funny tickle.

And then I went, "Uh-oh, this is weird.
I've never felt this before," but I ignored it.

- Really?
- Yeah, I ignored it.

- Cos I've always asked my Mom.
- A farting dog doesn't know what's going on.

- Why are you comparing a fart?
- It's a metaphor.

Anyway...you know when a dog farts?
They ignore it.

- They hear something...
- It has nothing to do with...

But it's like abnormal.
You're acting too cool.

I asked my mom, "What does it feel like
when you really fall in love? "

"Honey..." God bless her.

She says, "Honey, you will know.
It'll just be there."

And I go, "OK." So I always try to figure out...

Now I know what she meant.

That sensation that traps you right here

and then it stops like a block.

It's like a tickly feeling but it's a deeper...

It's almost as if somebody's about
to tickle you and you go...

but right here.

And then I took a deep breath and I went,
"What the hell's that? " (Laughs)

After turning back the clock,

the reality hits home
that time is catching up with them

and Gladys thinks that Jean-Claude
needs a youthful makeover.

What?

I see some white hair.

- No, no, no, no, no!
- Shouldn't have to do it.

Leave it like that. No, I don't feel like it.
You didn't ask my permission.

Even though he looks good with white hair -
really nice, he has a head for it...

Let's do those hairs. Come on.

Sit down here.
Takes two seconds here.

We're gonna do in the bathroom.

The bathroom is beautiful
and I can shave from there.

I'm not gonna go like that when you shave.

- You can shave after you've finished doing...
- I can sit down...

It's two seconds. OK, it's fine.
Let's go in the bathroom. He likes the bathroom.

- How long will it take?
- Two seconds. Ten minutes.

Oh, dear! I know you don't like it
but I have to do this.

- Don't make a mistake.
- "Don't make a mistake."

- You're gonna cut here?
- Your hairs are too long.

- Wait, wait.
- Wanna make sure you have good coverage.

Make sure not to miss on the side.

I look like the Addams Family.
You know the Addams Family?

(She hums theme)

When it went like this in the front.

With halfthe rejuvenation process finished,

Jean-Claude wants to round things off
with a shave.

Oh, when you shave it feels so good.

Look at this. Looks so funny.

There. Good as new. Yay!

Yeah. I lose five years when I shave.

You look 20 years younger.

Jean-Claude is planning a trip to Bangkok,

to re-edit a movie that he funded, produced
and starred in.

He's thinking of Eagle Path.
24/7 he's been thinking about it. 24/7.

The film, called The Eagle Path,

ends with a message about the environment.

- It's a way of saving the planet.
- Yeah.

First of all, we have to make them aware
of the message

and then the people decide what to do.

But he wants to bring the importance of...
what's happening with this planet...

because, at the end of the day,

we're here now but it's the future,
it's the kids of tomorrow.

In the movie, Jean-Claude plays a war veteran

who sets about avenging
the death of his mother.

It's been three years in the making,
costing millions of dollars,

but it's yet to be completed.

I've cut three or four times.
I've got to recut everything.

Come and sit.

Hey, I spend my own money, huh,
to do that message.

With that money,
I was able to buy two properties.

- But you're not selfish.
- To have another Bentley.

Another... Hey, it costs money, huh?

Rule number one: Don't ever spend your
own money, as an actor, to make a movie.

Don't ever do so.
One chance to 1,000 to succeed.

- And I knew...
- But you're not selfish.

It's not really... Yeah, you're right.

- You're not selfish. You were thinking about...
- It's not that. It's a deal between me and nature.

More than 7, 000 miles away,
Jean-Claude arrives in Bangkok,

where he heads straight to the cutting room.

Yes, so we go inside... You have some sound?

- No.
- Why not?

That's my son, Kristopher.

The lighting is fantastic.

Jean-Claude is concerned that a montage
at the end of the movie is confusing.

We have a message at the end of this film
and it's...it's not there.

The movie's weird.

So what we're trying to do with John here
is to fix the hint.

From here we've got...
(Makes explosive sounds)

It's like... I don't know. This is like lots of frame.

And cut back. That's all it is.

Right, one, one...

I basically explain that too much population
will destroy the world,

which is the truth right now.

I talk about the animals, nature...

all the population.

It's going bad. In 20 years from now, it's over.
That's what I believe.

Jean-Claude showed an early cut of the movie
to some audiences in Europe.

They were confused about the ending.

Cos the movie's so good, in a sense, for them,
they say, "Why we don't keep this way? "

Everybody's crying. Now they understand.

And then I come up with another film,
in a sense, that's got nothing to do with the...

So, my...

Take the... Out, out, out.

We shot this movie without a script.

- Doug was going crazy.
- He was cursing. He was cursing.

"No, Jean..." "Doug, we're gonna do this."

"What do you mean? Where's the script?
Where's my shot list? "

A few hours later, the ending is recut.

Now we have everything, right?

That's it.

Having put so much of his heart
and personal fortune into the movie,

Jean-Claude is desperately hoping
that he 's now fixed it.

Back in Hollywood,
Gladys is missing Jean-Claude.

She 's on the Walk Of Fame,
remembering where it all began.

It all started way back in the early '80s.
I was very pregnant with Kristopher.

JC and I were walking all hours of the night.

Even walking till three in the morning.

You see the stars and you see so many people
and so much life.

We always look at the stars
and we kind of like reminisce.

We even put our handprints over Bruce Lee's,
for example, and I did Marilyn Monroe's.

In the 25 years since Jean-Claude
made his major movie debut,

his films have grossed nearly three-quarters
of a billion dollars,

but there 's still one dream unfulfilled.

Walking down here,
he's accomplished his dream -

which is acting
and fulfilling in the movies and all -

but his biggest dream yet,
which needs to be accomplished,

and it will be accomplished,
is the star on the Walk Of Fame.

This is something that is so long overdue for him
and he so deserves it.

And I do hope that he gets it one day,
while he's alive.

You know, they usually give it
when they're dead.

I tell you, the day he gets one,
I would be um...in all tears.

I'll make sure I wear no mascara,
no makeup, no nothing. Hah.

Jean-Claude's back in Hong Kong,
the place he spends most of his time.

Even before he headed to Hollywood,
he tried to make it big here,

as a martial arts movie star.

- (Laughter)
- Come.

Come to papa.

You, you're such a lucky dog, huh?

Huh? You're such a lucky dog, huh.

Look at this view you have.

I'll show you the apartment.
It's kind of cool.

It's kind of cool stuff.

Come back here. This is my bedroom.

And my shower.

People love to see shower.

This is where I do the pooping.

It's a great place to be.

Yes.

OK.

Jean-Claude's heading out for the night,
but on the way,

he wants to make the most
of a few moments in the lift.

As it's on the 75th floor,
it'll take exactly a minute.

So, not to just stand, what I do...

I always... Get the vitamin box.

I'm squatting down like this.

Like this, cos, first of all,
I don't like too much elevators.

I'm stuck.

As...

I don't know. Me and my son
have the same problem.

So I do this, like this.

And then slowly, slowly, slowly, and just go
like this and start to relax and stretch.

I've got nothing else to do, anyway.

I do that every time I take the elevator,

if it's going up...going down...

..Iike this...

And then slowly, slowly, slowly go up.

Put my back very straight.

I feel great.

It's very strange but it's kind of cool.
I take advantage of the time.

How are you?

Jean-Claude is off to celebrate the birthday
of lifelong friend Alex Van Damme.

Alex is no relation, but he 's the son of the man
Jean-Claude originally took his surname from.

Alex. Come over here.

- Happy birthday, man.
- Merci.

This is my...older brother... He's not that old.

- But...
- Not too close.

When I was 1 8 years old,
I was sleeping here in this house

and became bigger and bigger
and Alex took me in his arm...

- His father sent me here.
- That's right.

- And I show you the way.
- Yeah, he show me Hong Kong.

- OK?
- I show you the way to Hong Kong.

- OK.
- Please.

(Whooping) Oh!

Hey, show me your golf course.

He has a great golf course.

Maybe you can do a couple of swings.

I did golf once in my life.

He show me how to do it and I hit the grass
and my body was shaking all over.

Anyway, a big zero in golf.

(Laughs)

Keep your head down.

(Laughs) I'm a champ, no?

Alex, you try once.

- Whoa!
- In the hole.

- You did it in the hole?
- Yeah.

First shot in the hole, guys. Amazing.

I hope you got it on camera.

Not wanting to be outdone,

Jean-Claude adopts a rather novel golf swing.

You want to see how JCVD hit the ball?

(Man speaks French)

- You want to see the real Van Damme?
- Yes.

- I mean, the family.
- Yes.

- The dog is there. He loves me.
- He took it away.

Whoa, whoa! Look, look! Look. One.

Golf, two, three, four...

(Laughter)

- And in the hole!
- Down the hole!

Down the hole!

On this occasion tonight I came here...
for your birthday,

but in fact...

it's...it's fantastic.

- I love you.
- Happy birthday.

- Family.
- To family.

OK.

Did you see that?

Los Angeles, and the Van Damme family
are enjoying a rare night out together.

They're off to visit an old movie-making friend
in the San Fernando Valley.

But the trip across town isn 't without incident.

(Laughter)

- Dad!
- Who farted?

I didn't.

- (All talk at once)
GLADYS: She threw that as a joke at you.

(Laughter)

- Oh, my God!
- Bianca, what you did again?

- Did you fart?
- No. It smells so bad.

My finger is so fat.

- I think it's here.
RADlO: ? Up Jumped The Boogie

- Oh!
- I know, Dad. I know.

That's one of the first songs
when I came to Miami.

When I was first in Miami.

We're going to Shellsker's house.

We're gonna party!

The family finally announce their arrival
in the quiet LA suburb.

(Car stereo blasts)

They're at the home of Hollywood screenwriter
Sheldon Lettich,

who 's written a string of Jean-Claude 's movies,
including Bloodsport and Double lmpact.

Hey.

Hey, Kris.

Smell the car.

We rented a car. Smell the car.

We did it in 20 minutes.

Smell it.

- Brand-new car?
- It still doesn't smell of car. No, rented.

OK.

(Sings along to radio)

Ah, what music, man!

Oh. They don't make music like that any more.

Hey, this is the place, when you make a poop...

..Iook, on your right side, who's here.

Ahh.

That was...a great movie.

You believe they're gonna make...

I heard some stories. Sheldon!

I heard some stories. I don't know.
I heard some stories.

I heard some stories they're gonna
make Bloodsport without me.

- Surprising, isn't it?
- I know. It's the strangest thing ever.

No, but it's kind of strange, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Like doing Rocky without Stallone.

Jean-Claude and Sheldon go back a long way.

His wife was pregnant...
and my wife was pregnant.

So they just instantly bonded with one another.

And the two products of those pregnancies
are here tonight.

And then we find out that Angelique was my girl
and Kristopher is his son

because he schtooped my wife...

We gotta take that DNA test again.

- Like Double lmpact.
- Right, right.

Twins!

The two families settle down to watch
a home video from almost 20 years ago.

(Laughter)

Daughter Bianca was still in nappies.

Look at the cheeks.

Kristopher was learning his first dance steps.

- That is so embarrassing.
- (Laughter)

And Jean-Claude,
at the height of his Hollywood powers,

was sporting the Clark Kent look.

- That's right.
- Amazing.

It's hilarious to look back at this stuff.

(Laughter)

The funniest thing ever is Jean-Claude
doing the dance.

(Laughter)

- It's hysterical.
- Ah, ah, ah.

Jean-Claude's travelled the world.

He's had his ups and his downs.

(Laughter)

But we always came back home
to simple, simple, simple home.

And that's what keeps you grounded.

But sometimes if you get caught in the rub
of the Hollywood life -

I've just dropped my glasses -

you know, everything just gets torn away.

So now we're going back to that.

You know, so this is what it's all about
and this is what he misses...

when he realises that he took the wrong route...

..and...

and now he's got his old friends
to put him back in his place and ground him.

(Chuckling)

GLADYS: Go! Go!

(Laughter)

☣ morlapin ☣
for addic7ed.com

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