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Narrator: Previously on
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"Bajillion Dollar Propertie$"...
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Dean: The people still ask,
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"What's next for
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Dean Rosedragon?"
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[ Bird caws ]
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I am going to write
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the story of my life.
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Letha: And he is here
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with a new book.
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Dean: "Sidewalks Made
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of People"...
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Letha: Ooh.
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Dean: ..."The Legacy
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of Dean Rosedragon."
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In my stead,
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my legitimate son, DJ.
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Victoria: So this means we won't
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ever have to see Glenn again?
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DJ: That's my bro
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from a different mo-po.
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Dean: Victoria.
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[ Laughter ]
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DJ: And now you got
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a smile, like that.
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Dean: I am going to hold
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a contest to see which of you
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will write the foreword
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to my autobiography.
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Victoria: Dean's
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book foreword is mine!
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Letha: All right.
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This launch party will be held
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at the house of your editor,
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Gwentolyn Swanson,
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who I know from
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various alcohol circles.
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Gwentolyn: Dr. Bermom's got me
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on the wine cleanse.
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Dean: The person writing
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the foreword...
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Chelsea: Oh, my God!
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Oh, no!
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Andrew: Dean!
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DJ: Papa?
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Chelsea: It's only been
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a day since Dean collapsed,
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but it feels like
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an eternity.
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I mean, no one
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knows what's going on.
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We're all freaking out.
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Glenn: DJ's called a meeting,
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and we just want to know
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what's happening.
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[ Indistinct shouting ]
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Amir: Can you just tell us?!
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Andrew: Please, DJ,
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you have to trust us.
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Victoria: What if he dies
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without ever professing
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his love to me?
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Andrew: Why isn't anybody
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asking if he's contagious?
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Are we all going to die?
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Amir: Yeah, and who gets
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his parking spot
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in an event like this?
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He never told us!
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He never told us!
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DJ: Guys, guys
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[inhales deeply] breathe.
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Everyone is very upset,
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and it's my job to give it
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to them straight
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and let them know
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I have their backs.
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[ Relieved sighing ]
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Okay, now I hate to be
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the bearer of bad news.
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Glenn: Bad news?!
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Chelsea: What?!
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DJ: Everything is fine.
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Chelsea: Okay, thank God.
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DJ: But...
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All: But?!
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Chelsea: Why would
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you say, "But"?
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DJ: Let me finish.
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Chelsea: Finish?
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Dean's finished?
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[ Indistinct shouting ]
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Andrew:
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Are you saying he's finished?!
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Dean is like a father to me.
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Baxter: I never think about it
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before, but me too.
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Victoria: Relax, okay, I'm sure
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that DJ is just about to tell us
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that Dean is okay, right?
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DJ: He is in a coma.
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Which is when you're asleep
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and you can't wake up.
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Chelsea: What?!
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Glenn: Next to my mommy,
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Dean is the only family I have.
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I can't handle this.
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No, no!
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Andrew: That's horrible!
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Glenn: Have you ever
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seen Dean sleep?
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DJ: Yes.
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Glenn: It's so beautiful.
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[ Sobs ]
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Chelsea: Oh!
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Andrew: You made Baxter
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ugly-cry!
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Victoria:
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We're going to be okay.
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Amir: Oh, yeah. Who gets
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the parking spot?
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???
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As you know, I created
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a ride-share service, Yaghoober.
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It's just like Uber,
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but instead of a random creep
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picking you up, it's always me.
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I had a drop-off
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near Dean's house and figured
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I'd check in on the old man.
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[ Monitor beeping ]
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DJ: Yeah, there we go.
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There it is.
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Whoop.
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Amir: [ Clears throat ]
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DJ: Oh, my God.
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Amir, you here
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to visit papa, huh?
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Ugh, DJ's here,
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probably dropping off a bag of
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"good vibes" for his dad.
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DJ: You can hold me, you know,
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just 'cause
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I'm going through a...
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Amir: No, I'm good.
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This is Gucci.
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DJ: Open the jacket.
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I'll go inside the jacket.
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Amir: It was good
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seeing you, DJ.
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DJ: Hey, I love seeing you.
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And thank you for being here.
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I wish I could stay
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and look after papa,
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but his book release party
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must go on as a tribute to him.
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Amir: Hey, Dean, uh,
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I never thought this day
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would come, man.
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I thought that we were
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going to work together
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until I took over the company
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and then you worked for me
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and then I'd get to
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treat you like shit.
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But it never came down
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to that, did it?
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I wanted to read you
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my favorite lyrics from a
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Pitbull song.
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I think it's really
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appropriate for the moment.
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"I got the green light, Miami,
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and you know what that means,
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that we can do anything --
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anything that you dream.
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I want to make you ooh, ah
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till you scream,
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and I practice what I preach
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if you know what I mean.
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I'm about that Miami.
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I'm about all those deejays."
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Dean! Dean, oh, my God!
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I brought you back
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from the coma!
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Dean?
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Uh, Dean, look. Dean...
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[ Camera shutter clicks ]
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I brought you back
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from the coma.
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Oh, my God.
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Was it the line
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about the deejay?
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Dude, I love deejays, too!
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I woke Dean up, me!
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I mean, I knew I was special,
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but I didn't know
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I heal people and shit.
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I'm going to take him
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to his book release party,
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and I'm going to be a hero!
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We have to get to the book
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release party now, Dean!
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Come on!
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Ugh, you don't need this oxygen.
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Come on.
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Dean: [ Mumbles indistinctly ]
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Amir: Okay.
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Dean: Aaaah!
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[ Groans ]
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Amir: Come on!
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Come on!
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Come on, Dean!
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Dean's heavier than
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I thought, and I do Crossfit.
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Okay, Dean.
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Dean: [ Groans ]
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Amir: [ Groans ]
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We'll get there real quick.
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Dean: Pain! Pain!
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Pain!
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Amir: Oh, there's a wheelchair.
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Hold on a second.
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???
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
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Chelsea: It might seem weird
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that we're having this party
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without Dean, but DJ insisted
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his dad would want it this way.
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Baxter: Dean was supposed
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to announce
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who won the book foreword
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when he just collapsed.
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Andrew: I bet DJ's
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going to announce it here.
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Victoria: Underneath that
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black cloth
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is the cover of Dean's book,
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and I bet the bottom will say,
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"Foreword by Victoria King."
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Gwentolyn: You were
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asking about Dean.
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Of course
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our hearts go out to him.
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We're concerned.
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I'm hopeful that,
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even if this ended in a death,
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which, of course,
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dear God above or whoever,
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whomever you worship,
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um, uh,
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I think there'd be
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a silver lining
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because, um, dead authors
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are hot right now.
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I've got to say, you know,
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people still talk about
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"To Kill a Mockingbird."
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
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Victoria: Of course I don't want
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to think about Dean dying.
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But if he does, I need
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to make sure I have a plan.
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Hi, is this Shelby
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from Tip-Top Realty?
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Shelby: Yes.
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Victoria: Hi, yes,
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thank you for taking my call.
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I was just wondering,
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for no reason at all,
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if you were taking any oker-ays.
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Shelby: Pardon me?
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Victoria: Osition-ays for --
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Shelby: Huh?
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Victoria: I'm trying to --
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Shelby: I'm not understanding.
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Victoria: Osition-ays
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for oker-ay...
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Shelby: Huh?
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Victoria: Positions --
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positions for brokers...
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Shelby: Oh.
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Victoria: ...is what I'm saying.
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Shelby: Oh -- oh, yes.
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Not sure.
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Victoria: Okay, great.
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Yes, well, you just --
288
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:22,042
you just let me know, again,
289
00:07:20,375 --> 00:07:22,042
for no reason at all,
290
00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:23,458
just wanting to figure out
291
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,292
what's going on
292
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,292
at Tip-Top Realty.
293
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:27,750
Shelby: Okay, bye.
294
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:27,750
Victoria: All right, thank you.
295
00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:33,375
[ Indistinct conversations ]
296
00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:34,375
DJ: I'll take one.
297
00:07:34,417 --> 00:07:36,292
Andrew: All right.
298
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,458
DJ: Thank you.
299
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,708
Thank you.
300
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,542
I needed that.
301
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,542
I needed it.
302
00:07:45,583 --> 00:07:46,750
Thank you, brother.
303
00:07:46,792 --> 00:07:48,333
Andrew: All right.
304
00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:49,625
Brother.
305
00:07:49,667 --> 00:07:51,083
DJ: Brother.
306
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,542
Not related brothers,
307
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:52,542
but...
308
00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:54,542
Andrew: Dean is my daddy,
309
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:57,083
and I just decided
310
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:57,083
that DJ is my brother.
311
00:07:57,125 --> 00:08:00,083
[ Indistinct conversations ]
312
00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:02,167
Baxter: I can't believe Glenn's
313
00:08:00,125 --> 00:08:02,167
not here to find out
314
00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:04,542
who ended up getting
315
00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:04,542
to write the book foreword.
316
00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:05,708
Chelsea: I know.
317
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,083
I can't believe
318
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,083
these are vegan.
319
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:08,875
They're do good.
320
00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:10,542
Baxter: That's not vegan.
321
00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:11,833
Chelsea: What?
322
00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:13,958
Baxter:
323
00:08:11,875 --> 00:08:13,958
That's a turkey meatball.
324
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,042
Chelsea: No --
325
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,042
no, this is vegan.
326
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:17,750
Baxter: No, it's turkey.
327
00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:19,417
Chelsea: I've been eating
328
00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:19,417
this for, like, 10 minutes.
329
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,917
Baxter: Yeah, it's awesome.
330
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,333
Chelsea: Oh, my God.
331
00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:24,250
Oh, my God.
332
00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:24,250
I thought these were vegan.
333
00:08:24,292 --> 00:08:26,333
I haven't eaten
334
00:08:24,292 --> 00:08:26,333
meat in like six years.
335
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,625
Baxter: Relax.
336
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:28,708
Chelsea: No,
337
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:28,708
you don't understand.
338
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,333
It's really important to me.
339
00:08:30,375 --> 00:08:31,458
Dean's in a coma.
340
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,125
I just broke
341
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,125
my meat sobriety!
342
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,542
Up is down, down is up!
343
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,500
Why is the world
344
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,500
so god damn crazy right now?
345
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,417
This isn't vegan?
346
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,417
I ate three of these!
347
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,917
Baxter: Do you not know
348
00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:39,917
what food looks like?
349
00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:41,333
That's a cheeseburger.
350
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,625
Chelsea: They make
351
00:08:41,375 --> 00:08:43,625
very convincing dupes.
352
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:44,750
Sorry, ma'am.
353
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,083
Baxter: You're fine, all right.
354
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,667
Just have fun off the wagon.
355
00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:48,750
Chelsea: No, I got
356
00:08:47,708 --> 00:08:48,750
to call my sponsor.
357
00:08:48,792 --> 00:08:50,250
This is a betrayal.
358
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:52,833
Ah, God damn it,
359
00:08:50,292 --> 00:08:52,833
does it feel paranoid in here?
360
00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:54,458
Oh!
361
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,000
How am I going to call
362
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,000
my sponsor without a phone?
363
00:08:56,042 --> 00:08:57,208
Why did I give up technology?
364
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,625
Damn these addictions!
365
00:08:58,667 --> 00:09:02,500
???
366
00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:07,750
Glenn: I'm too upset to go
367
00:09:04,875 --> 00:09:07,750
to Dean's book release party.
368
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,792
He worked his whole life,
369
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:09,792
and then this?
370
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,875
There's got
371
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,875
to be something more!
372
00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,875
[ Sobbing ]
373
00:09:13,917 --> 00:09:18,583
[ Vacuum cleaner whirring ]
374
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,875
[ Sobbing continues ]
375
00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:26,667
Glenn: No!
376
00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:28,375
[ Vacuum cleans turns off ]
377
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,708
Todd: You want to talk about it?
378
00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:34,833
Glenn: Yeah.
379
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,750
Todd: Have a seat.
380
00:09:41,917 --> 00:09:43,833
Glenn: Hey, this is my office.
381
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,417
Todd: What can Todd do for you?
382
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:49,167
Glenn: [ Sighs ]
383
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:50,583
I've got nothing
384
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:50,583
in this world,
385
00:09:50,625 --> 00:09:52,500
and I feel terrible
386
00:09:50,625 --> 00:09:52,500
all day and night.
387
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:53,833
Todd: I'll tell you
388
00:09:52,542 --> 00:09:53,833
a story about a man.
389
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:57,875
Let's call him Rodd,
390
00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:57,875
with two Ds.
391
00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:59,417
Glenn: Is it you?
392
00:09:57,917 --> 00:09:59,417
Todd: Yeah, it's me.
393
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:02,167
Glenn: You can just
394
00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:02,167
call him Todd.
395
00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:03,833
Todd: So Rodd's at home.
396
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:05,583
He looks in his fridge,
397
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:05,583
and there's nothing in there
398
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:07,500
but, uh, soy sauce packets.
399
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:09,083
So he decides
400
00:10:07,542 --> 00:10:09,083
to go down the street,
401
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:11,792
to the Bubba-Gump Shrimp Company
402
00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:11,792
and eat leftovers
403
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,708
that they haven't
404
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,708
cleared yet off the tables.
405
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,375
You ever been
406
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,375
to a Bubba-Gump Shrimp?
407
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:18,708
Glenn: No.
408
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:18,708
Todd: Oh, man, it's fantastic.
409
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,250
They got all kinds
410
00:10:18,750 --> 00:10:20,250
of shrimp there.
411
00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:21,583
Glenn: Uh-huh.
412
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:22,958
Todd: You know,
413
00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:22,958
shrimp jambalaya...
414
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,375
Glenn: I know.
415
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,375
Todd: ...shrimp Creole...
416
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,375
Glenn: I know about
417
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,375
the restaurant.
418
00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:26,917
Todd: ...barbecue shrimp...
419
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,833
Glenn: I know what
420
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,833
the restaurant's deal is.
421
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,083
Todd: ...popcorn shrimp...
422
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,083
Glenn: Yeah, I get it.
423
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,958
Todd: ...shrimp scampi...
424
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,958
Glenn: I saw the movie.
425
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,500
Todd: ...lemon shrimp...
426
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,500
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
427
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,458
Jumbo shrimp?
428
00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,458
Todd: Yeah, they're good-sized.
429
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:39,292
Anyway, I'd made my way through
430
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:39,292
the left side of the menu
431
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:41,667
when I noticed the spiciest dish
432
00:10:39,333 --> 00:10:41,667
in the restaurant
433
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,333
sitting right across
434
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,333
the room from me.
435
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,958
Glenn: The shrimp with hot sauce
436
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:45,958
or shrimp in jalapenos?
437
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,042
Todd: No, it's a girl,
438
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,042
you dipshit.
439
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,042
Glenn: Oh.
440
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,000
Todd: So I go over, say hi.
441
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:53,125
She's drinking
442
00:10:51,042 --> 00:10:53,125
a "Rum, Forrest, Rum,"
443
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,625
I buy her
444
00:10:53,167 --> 00:10:55,625
a "Lieutenant Dan-hattan,"
445
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,750
then we move on
446
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,750
to a "Gin-nay Tonic."
447
00:10:57,792 --> 00:11:01,167
Glenn: So you had her drink rum,
448
00:10:57,792 --> 00:11:01,167
then whiskey, then gin?
449
00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,750
Todd: Don't think about it
450
00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,750
so much.
451
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,333
Glenn: But you shouldn't mix
452
00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,333
all that kind of liquor.
453
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:05,583
It's gonna --
454
00:11:04,375 --> 00:11:05,583
Todd: Anyway,
455
00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:06,667
we're hitting it off.
456
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,083
She's laughing at my jokes.
457
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,750
I'm nodding with feigned
458
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,750
interest at her hobbies.
459
00:11:10,792 --> 00:11:12,333
To make a long story short,
460
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,208
we just start
461
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,208
projectile vomiting,
462
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:16,042
projectile out the other end,
463
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,500
you know, real
464
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:18,500
double-dragon situation.
465
00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:19,833
It was ugly.
466
00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:19,833
Glenn: Mm-hmm.
467
00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:21,292
Todd: You know, real bad.
468
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:22,750
We didn't want
469
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:22,750
to leave the table, though,
470
00:11:22,792 --> 00:11:24,250
because we had just
471
00:11:22,792 --> 00:11:24,250
locked in eye contact.
472
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:25,333
We had had that
473
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:25,333
connection, you know.
474
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:26,750
Glenn: Sure.
475
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:28,208
Todd: When you bond
476
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:28,208
with somebody like that,
477
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,125
when you can see
478
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,125
somebody at their worst
479
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,250
and still have room
480
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,250
for love in your heart --
481
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,250
because, to cut to the end,
482
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,250
that woman is now my wife.
483
00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:36,833
Glenn: Well,
484
00:11:35,292 --> 00:11:36,833
congratulations, Todd,
485
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:38,875
but that's just not
486
00:11:36,875 --> 00:11:38,875
going to happen for me.
487
00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:40,625
All right?
488
00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:40,625
Todd: Not with that attitude!
489
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,625
Glenn: It's not attitude.
490
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,625
It's circumstance.
491
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,333
It's who I am.
492
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,333
Look at me.
493
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,458
Look at my life.
494
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,458
No one wants this.
495
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,375
Todd: That girl, your Jenn-ay,
496
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,208
she could be at Bubba-Gump
497
00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,208
right now waiting for you.
498
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,083
You going to go find her?
499
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:55,125
Glenn: I -- I want to.
500
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:55,125
I just don't think she exists.
501
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:56,500
Todd: She does.
502
00:11:56,542 --> 00:11:58,958
Your soul mate,
503
00:11:56,542 --> 00:11:58,958
she's waiting for you.
504
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,000
And she's ready.
505
00:12:01,042 --> 00:12:03,500
Now, you go buy her a drink.
506
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,625
Glenn: All right.
507
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:05,625
Todd: Run, Glenn, run...
508
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,083
to her.
509
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,083
Glenn: Okay, Todd.
510
00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,500
Todd: She's out there.
511
00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,500
Glenn: Thanks, Todd.
512
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:09,583
Todd: All right.
513
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:09,583
Glenn: All right.
514
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,250
Todd: Get out of my office.
515
00:12:11,292 --> 00:12:13,542
Glenn: Todd, it's my office,
516
00:12:11,292 --> 00:12:13,542
and those are my notes.
517
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:17,208
So I really
518
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:17,208
don't appreciate that.
519
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,542
You got to go.
520
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:19,542
I -- I need to...
521
00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:21,167
Todd: All right.
522
00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:21,167
Glenn: Thanks.
523
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,792
Todd: You want to go
524
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,792
to Bubba-Gump Shrimp with me?
525
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,375
Glenn: I -- I don't. I'm
526
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,375
allergic to shellfish.
527
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:25,833
Todd: Okay. This was
528
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:25,833
a great talk.
529
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,250
Glenn: You know, Todd is right.
530
00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:28,708
There has to be
531
00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:28,708
a woman out there for me.
532
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,042
[ Southern accent ]
533
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,042
My mama always said
534
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,417
life is like
535
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,417
a box of chocolates.
536
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:34,958
You never know
537
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:34,958
what you're gonna get.
538
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,500
[ Normal voice ]
539
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,500
So use a condom.
540
00:12:39,542 --> 00:12:43,333
???
541
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,875
Chelsea: I'm back on meat.
542
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,875
It has taken over,
543
00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:49,208
and it is all that I want.
544
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:51,542
So I am basically a wolf now.
545
00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,042
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
546
00:12:53,083 --> 00:12:55,583
[ Indistinct conversations ]
547
00:12:55,625 --> 00:12:57,375
Don't worry about it.
548
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,708
It's okay. I'm already off
549
00:12:57,417 --> 00:12:59,708
the wagon, so it doesn't matter
550
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,250
if I keep going because my
551
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:02,250
co-sponsors are not
552
00:13:02,292 --> 00:13:04,542
going to say,
553
00:13:02,292 --> 00:13:04,542
"How much meat did you eat?"
554
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,333
They're just going
555
00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,333
to be like, "Did you eat meat?"
556
00:13:06,375 --> 00:13:08,875
I'm going to be like, "Yeah."
557
00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:11,375
Andrew: I am
558
00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:11,375
so worried about Dean.
559
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:13,000
I feel like I haven't been in
560
00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:13,000
the sort -- Is this --
561
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,542
is this open-bar?
562
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,542
Baxter: Yeah.
563
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:16,292
Andrew: All right. Yeah.
564
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:16,292
Baxter: It's great, right?
565
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:18,000
Andrew: Let's do this. Let's
566
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:18,000
play, uh, "Invent a Drink."
567
00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:20,083
Baxter: Oh, "Invent a Drink"
568
00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:20,083
is the best.
569
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:21,458
Andrew: You make up
570
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:21,458
the name of the drink,
571
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,417
and the other person
572
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,417
says what's in it.
573
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:26,792
Baxter: And then you drink it,
574
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:26,792
and then you black out.
575
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:28,750
Andrew: A Rusty
576
00:13:26,833 --> 00:13:28,750
High School Morning.
577
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,375
Baxter: Okay,
578
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:31,375
I want some Capri-Sun,
579
00:13:31,417 --> 00:13:34,792
a Lunchable, and vodka.
580
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,833
Andrew: Yeah.
581
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,833
Baxter: The Burnt-Out Cowboy.
582
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:40,333
Andrew: Uh, generic Kahl�a,
583
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:40,333
soda water,
584
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:43,958
a half of a Sam Adams
585
00:13:40,375 --> 00:13:43,958
cherry port
586
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,667
drank out of a woman's boot.
587
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,667
Baxter: We have to have that
588
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,667
in a woman's boot, please.
589
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,667
Andrew: Seriously, find a boot.
590
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,667
Baxter: Find a boot.
591
00:13:50,708 --> 00:13:52,417
[ Grunts ]
592
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,667
Aaaaah!
593
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:58,208
[ Indistinct conversations ]
594
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,625
Victoria: For some reason,
595
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,625
Dean being in a coma
596
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,333
makes me want to reach out
597
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,333
to my daddy.
598
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,875
Hi, Daddy,
599
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,875
it's your daughter.
600
00:14:04,917 --> 00:14:06,667
Mr. King: I don't own
601
00:14:04,917 --> 00:14:06,667
a talking Otter.
602
00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:08,458
Victoria: Why would an otter
603
00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:08,458
be calling you?
604
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,000
Mr. King: What
605
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,000
a delightful thought.
606
00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:11,875
Victoria: That is not that
607
00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:11,875
delightful of a thought.
608
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,667
Mr. King: So, Victoria,
609
00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,667
what do you want?
610
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:15,167
Victoria: Look,
611
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:15,167
I'm just wondering
612
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:18,500
if there's any openings
613
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:18,500
at the King Maker,
614
00:14:18,542 --> 00:14:20,125
you know, for a friend.
615
00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:21,792
Mr. King: Oh...
616
00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:21,792
Victoria: Yes, I have friends.
617
00:14:21,833 --> 00:14:23,167
Mr. King: That's too bad.
618
00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:24,750
Victoria: That does not
619
00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:24,750
make me weak!
620
00:14:24,792 --> 00:14:25,833
Mr. King: Goodbye.
621
00:14:25,875 --> 00:14:27,250
Victoria: H-- Daddy?
622
00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:29,750
Shit.
623
00:14:29,792 --> 00:14:33,417
[ Indistinct conversations ]
624
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,833
Baxter: Amir's a no-show,
625
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,750
and I haven't seen Chelsea
626
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,750
in a while.
627
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:42,167
And then I hear
628
00:14:38,792 --> 00:14:42,167
this ravenous sound.
629
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:44,708
[ Munching ]
630
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,000
Jesus Christ, do they even
631
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,000
have turkey legs here?
632
00:14:48,042 --> 00:14:50,208
Chelsea: Nah, playa.
633
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:59,042
???
634
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,250
Amir: I've got Dean,
635
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,250
and we're on the way
636
00:15:03,292 --> 00:15:04,917
to the party
637
00:15:03,292 --> 00:15:04,917
at Gwentolyn's house.
638
00:15:04,958 --> 00:15:07,208
But I'm also in need of money,
639
00:15:04,958 --> 00:15:07,208
so when a fare came in
640
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:08,958
on the Yaghoober app,
641
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:08,958
I had to take it.
642
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,417
I don't want
643
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,417
to lose my five-star rating.
644
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:11,750
All right,
645
00:15:10,458 --> 00:15:11,750
everyone strapped in?
646
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:12,917
Richolas: Yeah.
647
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:12,917
Amir: Richolas,
648
00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:14,000
sorry for the wait.
649
00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:16,083
Can I interest you in some,
650
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:18,250
uh, chips or some mints?
651
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:18,250
Richolas: Oh, sure, yeah.
652
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,250
Richolas: Lollipop, yeah.
653
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:20,250
Amir: Here you go.
654
00:15:20,292 --> 00:15:22,167
Richolas: Don't worry about me,
655
00:15:20,292 --> 00:15:22,167
witty, I'm on vacation.
656
00:15:22,208 --> 00:15:23,667
I have nowhere to be.
657
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,708
Oh, I'm just so excited
658
00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,708
to be in Los Angeles
659
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,125
and see all the sights
660
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,125
you have here.
661
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:28,792
Amir: Oh, yeah,
662
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:28,792
what'd you have in mind?
663
00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:30,458
Richolas: I had to get a selfie
664
00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:30,458
in the intersection
665
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,125
where Biggie Smalls was shot.
666
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,125
Can we go there?
667
00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:33,667
Amir: Oh, um...
668
00:15:32,167 --> 00:15:33,667
Richolas: Is that possible?
669
00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:36,750
Amir: I'd love to,
670
00:15:33,708 --> 00:15:36,750
but Waze is not allowing us.
671
00:15:36,792 --> 00:15:39,292
Richolas is vacationing
672
00:15:36,792 --> 00:15:39,292
from Orange County.
673
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,583
For those of you
674
00:15:39,333 --> 00:15:40,583
who don't know,
675
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,917
that's 4
676
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,917
5 minutes south.
677
00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:44,875
Richolas: It's so true
678
00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:44,875
about Los Angeles
679
00:15:44,917 --> 00:15:46,250
that there's so many cars.
680
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:48,542
Like, there's a car.
681
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:48,542
There's a car.
682
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,792
Look, there's a car.
683
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,792
There's a car.
684
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:52,083
Look at that car!
685
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:52,083
Dean: [ Groans ]
686
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,208
Look at these cars!
687
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,208
There's a car.
688
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:57,292
Look at that, Mercedes,
689
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:57,292
Lexus, Ford,
690
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,250
Range Rover, Tesla...
691
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,042
Dean: [ Muffled ]
692
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,042
Stop hitting me.
693
00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:02,625
Richolas: Oh, I was tapping you.
694
00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:02,625
Amir: Dean --
695
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,875
Dean: We're on a highway.
696
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,875
Of course there are cars.
697
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:08,417
Amir: Dean, I'm trying
698
00:16:05,917 --> 00:16:08,417
to get a five-star rating.
699
00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,083
Just let him hit you.
700
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:12,042
Richolas: Yeah, I like to
701
00:16:10,125 --> 00:16:12,042
pretend I'm a new technology.
702
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:15,958
Like, I can be a beeper.
703
00:16:12,083 --> 00:16:15,958
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
704
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,417
Or I can be a cellphone ring,
705
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,417
where it goes...
706
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:21,042
[ Imitates ringtone ]
707
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:23,375
You've got a call.
708
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,583
Ooh, you got a text.
709
00:16:24,625 --> 00:16:27,250
Oh, you got a notification.
710
00:16:27,292 --> 00:16:29,250
There's traffic on the 101.
711
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,125
Dean: Amir, pull over.
712
00:16:31,167 --> 00:16:32,125
Amir: What?
713
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:33,792
Dean: Pull over!
714
00:16:33,833 --> 00:16:35,792
Pull over!
715
00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:38,292
Amir: Sorry, sir,
716
00:16:35,833 --> 00:16:38,292
I got to stop the car. Dean's --
717
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,833
Richolas: That's all right.
718
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,833
I'm on vacation.
719
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,500
Dean: We know!
720
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:45,333
???
721
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,417
Glenn: I've decided to stop
722
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,417
feeling sad and sorry for myself
723
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:52,125
as a way of dealing
724
00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:52,125
with Dean's coma.
725
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:53,708
I'm going to follow
726
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:53,708
Todd's advice,
727
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:57,417
take charge of my own destiny,
728
00:16:53,750 --> 00:16:57,417
and look for love.
729
00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:02,250
Hm, religious preference.
730
00:17:02,292 --> 00:17:03,833
Traditional.
731
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:08,375
Uh, I believe
732
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:08,375
in a 300-foot-tall,
733
00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:10,958
sandal-wearing elderly giant
734
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,083
sitting on a cloud throne,
735
00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:14,542
A.K.A.,
736
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,167
Lutheran.
737
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:21,875
I spend a lot of time
738
00:17:16,208 --> 00:17:21,875
thinking about...
739
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:25,458
spiders crawling into my mouth
740
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,875
and dying in my esophagus,
741
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,708
semi-colon, world peace.
742
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,375
Six things
743
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,375
I can't live without --
744
00:17:34,417 --> 00:17:35,417
Um...
745
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:37,250
my mommy, comma,
746
00:17:37,292 --> 00:17:39,125
my mommy, comma,
747
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,875
my mommy...
748
00:17:40,917 --> 00:17:43,542
[ Sighs ]
749
00:17:43,583 --> 00:17:47,625
J.K., all the tools needed
750
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:54,292
for my bath and pedicures.
751
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,542
And before you even ask,
752
00:17:54,333 --> 00:17:56,542
the answer is yes.
753
00:17:56,583 --> 00:17:58,375
I cut my toenails in the bath.
754
00:17:58,417 --> 00:18:00,125
Otherwise, they're too hard.
755
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:03,250
My ideal Friday evening --
756
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:06,583
me, my couch,
757
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:08,750
my harmonica,
758
00:18:08,792 --> 00:18:12,667
and a bottle of milk.
759
00:18:12,708 --> 00:18:15,833
Save it.
760
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:21,000
[ Sighs ] And let the hits
761
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:21,000
come rolling in.
762
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:24,083
Refresh.
763
00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:26,125
My heart is open
764
00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:26,125
and on the Internet.
765
00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:27,625
What could possibly go wrong?
766
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:34,292
???
767
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,375
Amir: We're still racing
768
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,375
to the book release party.
769
00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:37,792
We still have Richolas,
770
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,917
and now a barely-conscious
771
00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,917
Dean is driving.
772
00:18:39,958 --> 00:18:41,250
Richolas: This is amazing.
773
00:18:41,292 --> 00:18:42,708
Look, he's half-dead,
774
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,917
but the half that's alive
775
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,917
is a great driver.
776
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,417
Amir: Yeah, yeah,
777
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,417
it's crazy, huh?
778
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:48,958
Richolas: Hey, you want
779
00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:48,958
some more juice?
780
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,458
Look, I'm going to squeeze it
781
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,458
into you. Boom.
782
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,792
Give you
783
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,792
a little surge there.
784
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:54,708
Blam-oh! A little
785
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:54,708
power boost.
786
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,542
Wha-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba!
787
00:18:56,583 --> 00:19:00,042
Oh, my God, this feels like
788
00:18:56,583 --> 00:19:00,042
feeling fake boobies.
789
00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:03,417
Amir: Okay, maybe picking up
790
00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:03,417
Richolas wasn't a great idea.
791
00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:06,208
Richolas: Hey, why don't
792
00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:06,208
we all sing together?
793
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:08,792
[ Humming ]
794
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,458
? Driving in a car ?
795
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:12,208
? We're the best of friends ?
796
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:13,625
? Driving very far ?
797
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:15,500
? This will never end ?
798
00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:16,958
? Driving in a car ?
799
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,875
? We are best of chumps ?
800
00:19:18,917 --> 00:19:20,042
? Riding in the car ?
801
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:24,167
? Our butts are getting numb ?
802
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,833
? Roll up the windows,
803
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,833
boo-boo-boo-boop! ?
804
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:27,792
? Turn on the air,
805
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:27,792
boo-boo-boo-boop! ?
806
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,458
? Honk that horn,
807
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,458
mer-mer-ber-berp! ?
808
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,708
? Pulling you over
809
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,708
for being a good singer ?
810
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:37,167
? Uh, guilty as charged,
811
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:37,167
officer! ?
812
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:38,958
Amir: Stop it!
813
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:38,958
Stop it!
814
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,542
Stop it!
815
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,542
Give me one star!
816
00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:42,167
Give me one star,
817
00:19:40,583 --> 00:19:42,167
I don't give a fuck!
818
00:19:42,208 --> 00:19:44,917
Enough!
819
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:46,750
Richolas: I only
820
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:46,750
give five stars.
821
00:19:46,792 --> 00:19:50,583
???
822
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,333
DJ: I think people
823
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,333
have been here long enough
824
00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:58,833
to breathe in the space
825
00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:58,833
and share a few hugs.
826
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,958
And now it's time
827
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,958
to gather everyone
828
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,625
and talk about
829
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,625
the future of Platinum.
830
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,250
Hello, hello, everybody.
831
00:20:04,292 --> 00:20:07,292
Hi. Hello.
832
00:20:07,333 --> 00:20:09,458
If you could, just come on
833
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,833
and bring your energy
834
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,833
in this way.
835
00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:13,500
Yeah, this feels good, right?
836
00:20:13,542 --> 00:20:15,958
It's a sad time, but it feels
837
00:20:13,542 --> 00:20:15,958
good that we're all here,
838
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,333
and we're sharing this energy.
839
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,875
You guys are all family here.
840
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,375
Jacob, how you doing?
841
00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:21,917
How's that baby? Good?
842
00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:24,167
Oh, man. Hey, Celeste.
843
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:27,542
Oh, what a pleasure
844
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:27,542
to have you here.
845
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:30,542
Oh, you're not supposed
846
00:20:27,583 --> 00:20:30,542
to be drinking.
847
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:33,000
But this is sad. This sucks.
848
00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:35,833
You know, it's inside,
849
00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:35,833
it's outside, we're here.
850
00:20:35,875 --> 00:20:37,292
We need to breathe.
851
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:40,083
We need to heal as Platinum.
852
00:20:37,333 --> 00:20:40,083
Huh?
853
00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:41,292
Andrew: Amen.
854
00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:41,292
DJ: Thank you.
855
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,875
Baxter: DJ is such a good guy.
856
00:20:42,917 --> 00:20:44,333
Andrew: I love you, DJ!
857
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:48,167
DJ: The doctors
858
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:48,167
can't really tell us
859
00:20:48,208 --> 00:20:50,875
when Dean will be coming back,
860
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,167
so this afternoon,
861
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:57,042
I actually had him sign over
862
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:57,042
the company to me.
863
00:20:57,083 --> 00:21:00,375
And now Platinum is mine.
864
00:21:00,417 --> 00:21:02,333
Victoria: [ Gasps ]
865
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:06,042
DJ: Just going to go ahead
866
00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:10,542
and sign over
867
00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:10,542
your company to me.
868
00:21:10,583 --> 00:21:12,375
And you just have to hold.
869
00:21:12,417 --> 00:21:14,292
I can do the signing.
870
00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:16,542
Mm-hmm, there it is.
871
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:18,375
Whoop.
872
00:21:18,417 --> 00:21:20,000
Simple as that.
873
00:21:20,042 --> 00:21:21,542
Victoria: What?!
874
00:21:20,042 --> 00:21:21,542
Chelsea: Are you kidding me?
875
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,125
Andrew: No!
876
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:23,125
Baxter: No!
877
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:26,500
Baxter: Wait, does DJ
878
00:21:23,167 --> 00:21:26,500
stand for double...
879
00:21:26,542 --> 00:21:27,792
jrosser?
880
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,292
Andrew: DJ's no longer
881
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,292
my brother.
882
00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:30,333
I divorce him.
883
00:21:30,375 --> 00:21:32,000
I hate you, DJ!
884
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,417
Chelsea: How did
885
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,417
I not see this coming?
886
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,167
You know what? I --
887
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,167
I blame the meat eating.
888
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:37,417
That's what it is. The meat,
889
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:37,417
they clouded my eyes.
890
00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:40,042
Victoria: DJ is not who
891
00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:40,042
he presented himself to be.
892
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:41,792
And frankly,
893
00:21:40,083 --> 00:21:41,792
I am shocked, angered,
894
00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:43,417
and a little turned on by that.
895
00:21:43,458 --> 00:21:44,958
DJ: I have an announcement!
896
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,875
[ Gasping ]
897
00:21:47,917 --> 00:21:49,583
Andrew: What?
898
00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:52,042
DJ: This is also not
899
00:21:49,625 --> 00:21:52,042
Dean's book release party.
900
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,250
Victoria: What?
901
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,250
Baxter: What?
902
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:54,833
DJ: It's mine!
903
00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:57,000
Andrew: No!
904
00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:57,000
Victoria: How dare you?!
905
00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:58,792
DJ: Yes!
906
00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:58,792
Chelsea: No!
907
00:21:58,833 --> 00:22:00,833
DJ: [ Laughs maniacally ]
908
00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:06,333
Victoria: How dare you?!
909
00:22:04,208 --> 00:22:06,333
DJ: Yes!
910
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,458
Andrew: DJ!
911
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,458
DJ: It's mine!
912
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:10,083
Andrew: Wrong!
913
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:10,083
Victoria: You're an asshole, DJ!
914
00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:11,208
DJ: No, I'm not.
915
00:22:11,250 --> 00:22:13,167
With papa out of commission,
916
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:16,875
Platinum was weak
917
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:16,875
and ripe for a takeover.
918
00:22:16,917 --> 00:22:18,417
It might as well be me.
919
00:22:18,458 --> 00:22:19,792
Andrew: Is this a joke?
920
00:22:19,833 --> 00:22:21,000
DJ: This is not a joke.
921
00:22:19,833 --> 00:22:21,000
This is real.
922
00:22:21,042 --> 00:22:22,417
"DJuniorology"...
923
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:23,667
Victoria: What is this book
924
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:23,667
even about?
925
00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:24,917
DJ: It's about me...
926
00:22:24,958 --> 00:22:26,042
Amir: Wait!
927
00:22:24,958 --> 00:22:26,042
DJ: ...and my life.
928
00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,375
Chelsea: What?
929
00:22:26,083 --> 00:22:27,375
DJ: Huh?
930
00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:28,750
Chelsea: Dean!
931
00:22:27,417 --> 00:22:28,750
Amir: Out of the way.
932
00:22:28,792 --> 00:22:30,333
Come on, move.
933
00:22:28,792 --> 00:22:30,333
Victoria: Oh, my God.
934
00:22:30,375 --> 00:22:32,167
Baxter: Oh, my God.
935
00:22:30,375 --> 00:22:32,167
Victoria: Oh, my God, Dean!
936
00:22:32,208 --> 00:22:33,792
Oh, Dean.
937
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,167
Dean's awake!
938
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,792
DJ: Papa.
939
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:37,917
Dean: [ Groans ]
940
00:22:37,958 --> 00:22:39,958
Victoria: Oh, my God.
941
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,583
Dean: [ Groans ]
942
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:49,708
[ Gasping ]
943
00:23:02,292 --> 00:23:05,875
[ Roars ]
944
00:23:08,958 --> 00:23:11,167
[ Breathing heavily ]
945
00:23:11,208 --> 00:23:13,292
[ Clattering, gasping ]
946
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:17,708
Amir: I think Dean is
947
00:23:14,958 --> 00:23:17,708
going to kill DJ.
948
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:20,208
I think Dean is going
949
00:23:17,750 --> 00:23:20,208
to kill DJ.
950
00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:22,208
Dean: You...
951
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,917
You can't do this, DJ.
952
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,917
I'm still in charge.
953
00:23:24,958 --> 00:23:28,125
DJ: Oh, no, you're not, papa.
954
00:23:24,958 --> 00:23:28,125
You're too late.
955
00:23:28,167 --> 00:23:31,417
You already signed
956
00:23:28,167 --> 00:23:31,417
your name over in ox blood.
957
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:33,417
Dean: You used my ox blood pen?
958
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:33,417
DJ: Mm-hmm.
959
00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:35,375
Victoria: You can't just type up
960
00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:35,375
a piece of paper,
961
00:23:35,417 --> 00:23:37,667
have him sign it, and suddenly
962
00:23:35,417 --> 00:23:37,667
you're the head of Platinum.
963
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,458
Dean: No, Victoria, I'm afraid
964
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,458
that's exactly what he can do,
965
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,625
thanks to a little-known
966
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,625
realty law,
967
00:23:43,667 --> 00:23:45,250
habeas transferus,
968
00:23:45,292 --> 00:23:46,875
the paternal right of transfer.
969
00:23:46,917 --> 00:23:49,000
Baxter: Of course,
970
00:23:46,917 --> 00:23:49,000
habeas transferus.
971
00:23:49,042 --> 00:23:50,333
He's got you, Dean.
972
00:23:50,375 --> 00:23:52,583
Dean: Thanks!
973
00:23:50,375 --> 00:23:52,583
DJ: So it's all mine.
974
00:23:52,625 --> 00:23:54,500
And I got a new logo.
975
00:23:54,542 --> 00:23:56,708
Victoria: [ Gasps ] What?
976
00:23:56,750 --> 00:24:00,625
DJ: DJ Rosedragon.
977
00:24:00,667 --> 00:24:03,625
Chelsea: Is he trying to look
978
00:24:00,667 --> 00:24:03,625
like a broke-ass Steve Aoki?
979
00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,583
Dean: How dare you?!
980
00:24:06,625 --> 00:24:10,583
How dare you,
981
00:24:06,625 --> 00:24:10,583
you ungrateful creature?!
982
00:24:10,625 --> 00:24:12,208
I will crush you.
983
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:14,625
Also, I'm very proud of you.
984
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:17,833
DJ: I've waited my whole life
985
00:24:14,667 --> 00:24:17,833
for this very moment,
986
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:20,625
and also for you to tell me
987
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:20,625
that you're proud of me.
988
00:24:20,667 --> 00:24:21,667
Thanks.
989
00:24:21,708 --> 00:24:22,917
Dean: I am proud of you, son,
990
00:24:22,958 --> 00:24:24,333
which makes it a shame that
991
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:27,292
I will have to destroy
992
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:27,292
my only blood son!
993
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,708
DJ: I'd love to see you try!
994
00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:32,167
I would also love a hug.
995
00:24:32,208 --> 00:24:35,167
Dean: You will get your hug
996
00:24:35,208 --> 00:24:37,083
in hell...
997
00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:38,667
after this one.
998
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,083
I am going to kill you,
999
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:13,083
and I will miss you, my son.
1000
00:25:13,125 --> 00:25:16,750
DJ: I will destroy you
1001
00:25:13,125 --> 00:25:16,750
and continue the name.
1002
00:25:16,792 --> 00:25:19,083
Dean: I will render you
1003
00:25:16,792 --> 00:25:19,083
to dust and mourn you forever.
1004
00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:21,833
DJ: This back feels good
1005
00:25:19,125 --> 00:25:21,833
because I love stabbing it,
1006
00:25:21,875 --> 00:25:23,625
but I also love hugging it.
1007
00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:26,500
Dean: Oh, if only I were
1008
00:25:23,667 --> 00:25:26,500
hugging your neck with my hands.
1009
00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:31,292
Yours is truly
1010
00:25:26,542 --> 00:25:31,292
a Shakespearean evil.
1011
00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:32,542
DJ: Thank you.
1012
00:25:32,592 --> 00:25:37,142
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