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????
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
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[ Fire alarm blaring ]
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Baxter: Fire?
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Chelsea: Fire!
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Fire!
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Fire!
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Loft fire! Fire!
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What are you doing?!
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Roberto!
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Fire!
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Victoria: Protect me!
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Surround me!
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Let's go! That way!
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No, leave him! He's dead!
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Let's go!
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Protect my face!
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Go! Faster!
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Ughh!
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Let's move!
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Dean: This is
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very disappointing.
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????
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????
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Chelsea: Dean's called
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a meeting in the bullpen,
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and no one knows
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what it's about.
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Dean: [ Sighs ]
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Thank you all
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for being here.
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As you may or may not know,
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the city of Los Angeles
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has bestowed upon me
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the great honor
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of being the first responder.
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Victoria: Mm. [ Clapping ]
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Dean: Not a first responder,
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but the first responder.
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Let's just say
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it's who you know.
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Anyway, I was the one
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who pulled that fire alarm
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because I wanted to see
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how we were doing
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in terms of
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emergency-drill preparedness.
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Chelsea: [ Sighs ]
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Dean: And it turns out,
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most of you...
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have done quite well,
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and thank you very much.
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Chelsea: Thank you.
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Dean: No.
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You three --
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you performed appallingly
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in an emergency situation.
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[ Victoria and Chelsea scoff ]
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Now, had that been
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an actual fire,
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you would have perished.
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Baxter: I...agree with you.
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I reacted terribly
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to this fire alarm.
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Dean: Thank you.
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Baxter: Um...
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but it is a health issue
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that I'm having.
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Dean: What are you
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talking about, Baxter?
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Baxter: Goat...panic.
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Dean: Goat panic?
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Baxter: Yes.
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You know those videos on
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YouTube where goats, uh,
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get scared and they panic
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and get stiff and fall over
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and pass out?
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[ Alarm blaring ]
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Chelsea: Fire!
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Baxter: [ Bleating ]
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Victoria:
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The thing you need to do is
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take care of yourself first.
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I don't know why Dean is
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having me take this workshop.
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I know what to do.
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In these kind of situations,
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you want to hide under a desk.
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Chelsea: That's a great idea.
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Dean: It's not, but continue.
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Victoria: Well, our desks,
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they don't burn.
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Dean: They do.
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Why wouldn't they?
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Victoria: Okay,
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that's not what I was told.
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Chelsea: Why would we
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buy flammable desks?
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Dean: Chelsea.
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Victoria: Dean.
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Dean: In the event --
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Did you think I silenced Chelsea
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so you could talk?
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Victoria: So I could speak.
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Dean: No!
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Because I had something to say.
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Victoria: I thought
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maybe 'cause you wanted
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to hear what I had to say,
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and you don't like
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when she talks over me.
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Dean: I don't.
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I feel
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it's going to make me mad.
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Victoria: If I speak?
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Dean: Yes.
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Victoria: But you might
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like what I have to say.
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Dean: It's happening.
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Dean: It's happening right now.
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Victoria: Are you liking it?
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Dean: I feel the rage rising.
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Victoria: Oh, it's ra-- Okay.
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Dean: It's up to here.
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Victoria: I'll stop.
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But just so you know...
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Dean: Oh!
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Rage level's rising.
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Victoria: ...it was really good.
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Dean: Here it comes.
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Victoria: I don't want it
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to get any higher.
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I'm just -- Okay.
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Victoria: I'll tell --
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Dean: Victoria!
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I am going to call out
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a type of disaster,
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and I want to see
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what you think
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is the proper response
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to that disaster.
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All right. Let's say
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there's an earthquake.
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Victoria: Oh!
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Baxter: Okay.
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Victoria: Uh...
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[ Rapping on desk ]
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Baxter: Oh, my gosh.
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Chelsea: Uh...
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Baxter: This is a bad one!
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Chelsea: Yep.
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Baxter: It's an earthquake!
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We better get out of here!
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Victoria: I'm shaking!
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I'm shaking! Look at me shake!
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Dean: Plea--
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Victoria: Shaking all over!
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Baxter: Hold on to these!
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Chelsea:
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Hold on to something sharp!
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Get the sharpest thing
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you can find!
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Dean: Hold on to something --
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Chelsea: Eeearthquuake!
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Baxter: Oh!
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Dean: This is very sad.
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????
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Amir: I'm heading
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to meet my client Eric
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at a $9 million house
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he's buying in Hancock Park.
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All he has to do is sign
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on the dotted line.
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Eric.
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Hey, man.
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Eric: [ Snorting ]
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Hey, what's up?
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Amir: What up...with you?
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Eric: ?? After these messages,
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we'll be riiiight back ??
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[ Chuckles ]
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Amir: Static, huh?
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Eric's a student at USC
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who really loves
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his medical marijuana.
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Hey, so what?
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The kid likes to relax.
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Uh, did I mention
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he's also extremely rich?
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So, I just need you to sign
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right over here,
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and the house is yours...
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Eric: Okay. Cool.
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Amir: ...bro.
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Eric:
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I had a great idea, though.
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Amir: What's up?
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Eric:
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What if I had a house in --
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with a, um, with a room inside?
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You -- You can eat food in it.
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Or drinks.
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Dope.
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Amir: He's talking
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about a kitchen,
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and I keep telling him
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the house has two.
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Eric: I want my own stairway
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to Heaven, man.
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You know what I mean? But not
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a stairway -- just a ladder.
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Amir: Man, what is it
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with stoners and Led Zeppelin?
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You can put a stairway
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to Heaven, man.
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You can -- You can totally
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make it radical.
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Eric: Okay.
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Amir: You can make it so rad.
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Eric: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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Amir: It'll be dope.
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Eric: You're right. You're
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right. Yeah, you're right.
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Amir: [ Chuckling ] Yeah.
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Eric: Um, but I have --
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I have one -- one more thing.
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Am I being so annoying?
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You're my best friend.
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Tell me right now --
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am I being a dick?
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Amir: No.
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Yeah, he is.
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This is textbook dick right now.
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But this dick's got
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a fat wallet.
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Scribble next to the X.
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Just -- What --
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Yes. Good. Good.
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Now down.
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Eric: [ Sighs ]
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Doesn't matter, man.
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Amir: What doesn't matter?
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Life doesn't matter?
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It's -- It's... Look,
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it's all gonna be fine. Okay?
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Eric: Doesn't matter.
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Amir: No. It's all good.
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Eric: If I don't
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pass my biology exam,
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my dad won't pay
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for the -- the house.
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Amir: Your dad is
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buying you this house?
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Eric: Yeah. You think
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I was gonna buy the house?!
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Amir: Yes! I did!
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Eric:
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I do nothing every day!
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This is what I do, man!
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Amir: What do you do?!
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What is this?!
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What is this?!
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Eric: I do drugs
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and I do examinations.
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I do Pap smears...
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for the local neighborhood.
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Do you want some ipecac?
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I have to throw up most of
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the stuff that I just did.
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Amir: God damn it.
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God damn it.
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[ Sighs deeply ]
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What is this? Why do you have
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such a long joint?
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Eric: [ Heaves ]
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Amir: Oh! What are you doing?!
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Eric: [ Heaving ]
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Amir: Jesus Christ!
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Eric: [ Vomiting ]
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????
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Andrew: While Baxter works
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on his survival skills,
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I'm headed to Malibu to meet
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with critically acclaimed,
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best-selling author
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Merry Capshaw.
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She's best known
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for her erotica novels
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00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,750
about fucking strange men
291
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,750
and buying shoes in Manhattan.
292
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:20,708
Her latest one is called "I'll
293
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:20,708
Take a Size 8 in Both, Please."
294
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,292
Uh, you know,
295
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,292
when I get a voicemail
296
00:06:30,292 --> 00:06:32,292
from the Merry Capshaw --
297
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,792
Merry:
298
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:33,792
Two R's. I'm rated R.
299
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:36,000
Andrew: Yeah.
300
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:36,000
Merry: [ Laughs ] It's a joke.
301
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,875
Andrew: I love jokes.
302
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,875
I love comedy.
303
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,333
And right now, I'm loving you.
304
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,958
Merry: Excuse me.
305
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,958
I'm getting a text. [ Chuckles ]
306
00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:43,208
It's my friend.
307
00:06:40,958 --> 00:06:43,208
She's across town.
308
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,375
Andrew: Oh. Cool --
309
00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:45,375
Merry: As she was house hunting,
310
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:49,750
her friend Shamanda was uptown,
311
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:49,750
stalking her own prey --
312
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:51,167
a gym rat.
313
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:53,750
Andrew: I mean,
314
00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:53,750
check out the view, though.
315
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,833
Merry: It's spectacular.
316
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,833
Andrew: You love it?
317
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,667
Merry: As she looked out
318
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,667
at the mounds of Malibu,
319
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:02,042
she wondered if the ocean
320
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:02,042
was crashing against the valley
321
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:04,667
as hard as her heart
322
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:04,667
was crashing against her own.
323
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,333
Andrew: Excuse me.
324
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,333
I'm sorry.
325
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,208
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to
326
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,208
be hearing you as you --
327
00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:11,167
Uh, I think you're talking about
328
00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:11,167
you, but you said "mounds."
329
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:14,667
Merry:
330
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:14,667
Wow. It's funny how people
331
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:14,667
don't understand the process.
332
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,458
Or are you Canadian -- pro-cess?
333
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,458
Andrew: I'm not Canadian.
334
00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:19,417
Merry:
335
00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:19,417
See, I know it's unorthodox,
336
00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:19,417
but just let me do it.
337
00:07:19,417 --> 00:07:20,875
See, I self-narrate,
338
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,333
and then I can write a story
339
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,333
in three days.
340
00:07:23,333 --> 00:07:26,083
I've written 92 erotica novels.
341
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,333
I'm the Stefan King of erotica.
342
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,042
Andrew:
343
00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,042
I don't have three days.
344
00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:31,875
If this is gonna take longer,
345
00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:31,875
I could leave you here,
346
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,875
'cause there's actually
347
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,875
a taco buffet at Taco Mania
348
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,667
that I usually hit
349
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:36,667
on Tuesday mornings.
350
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:37,750
And it's, uh --
351
00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,375
Merry: He brought up tacos.
352
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,667
Andrew: I bet
353
00:07:40,792 --> 00:07:42,667
if I self-narrate, too,
354
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:45,750
I can get out of here in time
355
00:07:42,667 --> 00:07:45,750
for the salsa-chugging contest.
356
00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:50,708
Uhh...he could tell that she was
357
00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:50,708
interested in the property,
358
00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:54,250
and he would have to show her
359
00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:54,250
around the rest of the...house
360
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,500
in order to make the deal.
361
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,667
Uhh...
362
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,667
Merry: She felt like a vampire,
363
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,875
'cause he finally
364
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,875
invited her in.
365
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,042
Andrew: [ Chuckles nervously ]
366
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:02,042
Merry: [ Chuckles ]
367
00:08:02,042 --> 00:08:03,208
Andrew: [ Hisses ]
368
00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,292
She's not really a vampire.
369
00:08:05,292 --> 00:08:06,208
They're extinct.
370
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,875
????
371
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,500
Victoria: We have been
372
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:19,500
training for hours with Dean
373
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,417
on how to handle
374
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,417
disaster scenarios,
375
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:23,000
but the real disaster here
376
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,667
is that I have to share Dean
377
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,667
with everyone else.
378
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,500
Dean: In the event
379
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,500
of an emergency,
380
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:31,292
you follow emergency procedures
381
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:31,292
that are recognized by...
382
00:08:31,292 --> 00:08:32,750
the world.
383
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:35,167
Baxter: So let's move on
384
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:35,167
to another emergency.
385
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:36,833
The world runs out of air.
386
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:38,417
What do we do?
387
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,167
Chelsea: Hoard it.
388
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,167
Dean: Yes.
389
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,708
Anyone else?
390
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:41,708
World runs out of air.
391
00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:43,167
Baxter?
392
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,750
Baxter: Luckily...
393
00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,792
Chelsea: Mouth-to-mouth.
394
00:08:48,792 --> 00:08:50,667
Baxter:
395
00:08:48,792 --> 00:08:50,667
This is our last breath.
396
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,417
I want you to know...
397
00:08:52,417 --> 00:08:54,208
that I like you a lot,
398
00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:55,875
and I know you're married,
399
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:57,833
and you've told me that
400
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:57,833
many times.
401
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:00,042
Chelsea: Yo, back up, Gary!
402
00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:01,625
You're, like,
403
00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:01,625
right in their space.
404
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,667
Baxter: Gary,
405
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,667
can we have a moment?
406
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,458
Victoria: This is
407
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,458
so typical Gary.
408
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:08,708
Baxter: The world's
409
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:08,708
run out of air, as you know,
410
00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:10,125
so I just want to let you know
411
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,958
that I really like you,
412
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,958
and, um...
413
00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:13,792
Victoria: [ Voice breaking ]
414
00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:13,792
You say the right word.
415
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,958
You say the word you mean,
416
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,958
'cause you know it's not "like."
417
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,583
Baxter: [ Whispering ]
418
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,583
I love you.
419
00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:21,417
Dean: Enough of this nonsense.
420
00:09:21,417 --> 00:09:23,083
One last thing.
421
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:26,333
Do you understand what I mean
422
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:26,333
when I say the phrase
423
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,083
"Stop, drop and roll"?
424
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,083
Victoria: Stop, drop and rumble.
425
00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:29,958
Dean: What are you doing?
426
00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:32,125
Victoria: I thought we were
427
00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:32,125
saying the phrase together.
428
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:34,542
Dean: No. I'm asking a question.
429
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:34,542
Victoria: What did you say?
430
00:09:34,542 --> 00:09:35,833
Dean: What did you say?
431
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:37,208
Victoria: I said,
432
00:09:35,833 --> 00:09:37,208
"Stop, drop and rumble."
433
00:09:37,208 --> 00:09:38,458
Dean: What does that mean?
434
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:39,750
Victoria: Stop...
435
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,833
drop it low...
436
00:09:39,750 --> 00:09:41,833
Chelsea: Drop.
437
00:09:41,833 --> 00:09:43,375
Victoria: ...and rumble.
438
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,750
Dean: The phrase
439
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,750
is "Stop, drop and roll."
440
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,333
What does that mean to you?
441
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,292
Baxter: If you're on fire, stop.
442
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:49,292
Dean: Yes!
443
00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:51,042
Baxter: Drop to the ground.
444
00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:51,042
Dean: That's right!
445
00:09:51,042 --> 00:09:53,125
Baxter: An' droll.
446
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:56,542
Chelsea:
447
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:56,542
Oh, like, be happy and jolly,
448
00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:56,542
like a British elf.
449
00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:58,208
Baxter: I thought droll was sad.
450
00:09:56,542 --> 00:09:58,208
Victoria: No.
451
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,792
Chelsea: No, droll is like...
452
00:09:58,208 --> 00:09:59,792
[ British accent ] Oh!
453
00:09:59,792 --> 00:10:01,417
Baxter: [ British accent ] Ohh!
454
00:09:59,792 --> 00:10:01,417
Chelsea: Ohh!
455
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:03,792
Baxter: I'm on fiiire.
456
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:03,792
Chelsea: Joyous.
457
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:05,750
Dean: The three of you --
458
00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:05,750
get down on the floor.
459
00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:07,417
You lay down.
460
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,333
Baxter: [ Normal voice ] Guys!
461
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,333
Dean: Lay down right now.
462
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:11,292
Baxter: Are we being
463
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:11,292
floor-punished?
464
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:11,292
Dean: Yes, you are.
465
00:10:11,292 --> 00:10:13,333
Baxter: Aaagh!
466
00:10:11,292 --> 00:10:13,333
Dean: You lay down.
467
00:10:11,292 --> 00:10:13,333
Look up at the ceiling.
468
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,625
You think about this.
469
00:10:14,625 --> 00:10:16,292
Baxter: Aaagh!
470
00:10:14,625 --> 00:10:16,292
Dean: You lie flat.
471
00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:17,583
Victoria: No!
472
00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:17,583
Dean: You look up
473
00:10:16,292 --> 00:10:17,583
at the ceiling.
474
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:18,917
You do it!
475
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,667
Baxter: How long?
476
00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:20,667
Dean: Till I say so.
477
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:22,292
Victoria: What?!
478
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:22,292
Dean: The rest of you...
479
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:23,750
hover over them
480
00:10:22,292 --> 00:10:23,750
and just look at them.
481
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:25,458
Make them uncomfortable.
482
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,458
Chelsea: What the fuck
483
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,458
you looking at, Gary?
484
00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:29,708
????
485
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,958
Amir: I am confident
486
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,958
that all I need is one day,
487
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:40,625
one day of serious
488
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:40,625
concentration...
489
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:40,625
Eric: Yeah.
490
00:10:40,625 --> 00:10:42,542
Amir: ...and I can get you ready
491
00:10:40,625 --> 00:10:42,542
for this test.
492
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:43,833
It's pretty simple.
493
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,333
I just have to tutor
494
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,333
my client Eric
495
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,917
so that he passes his bio exam,
496
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,708
and then his dad
497
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,708
will buy him the house.
498
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:50,375
Let's start with something
499
00:10:48,708 --> 00:10:50,375
that you can relate to.
500
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:51,917
Eric: Yeah.
501
00:10:50,375 --> 00:10:51,917
Amir: Um, okay.
502
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,667
Marijuana...is a plant.
503
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,833
Eric: Yeah.
504
00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:55,833
Amir: How do plants grow?
505
00:10:55,833 --> 00:10:57,208
Eric: Uh...
506
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,500
Why don't you grow up?
507
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,500
Amir: That's...
508
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,708
Eric: Why don't you get a job?
509
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,708
Grow up!
510
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:02,583
Amir: Uh, I think you're
511
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:02,583
relating this to yourself.
512
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,917
That is not how plants grow.
513
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,917
Eric: Fuck my dad.
514
00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:06,958
Amir: Right. And you know
515
00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:06,958
how we're gonna fuck him?
516
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,583
By acing this biology test.
517
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,583
Eric: Okay.
518
00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:11,167
Amir: Great, so, plants...
519
00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:11,167
Eric: Yeah.
520
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,708
Amir: ...grow with a process
521
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:14,708
called...photosynthesis.
522
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:16,417
Eric: Photosynthesis.
523
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:18,208
Amir: Okay. Now say it
524
00:11:16,417 --> 00:11:18,208
on your own. What is it called?
525
00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:22,958
We just said it, Eric.
526
00:11:22,958 --> 00:11:24,292
I'm not giving up on Eric.
527
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,042
I think he actually
528
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:26,042
wants to learn.
529
00:11:26,042 --> 00:11:28,583
Photosynthesis, which is
530
00:11:26,042 --> 00:11:28,583
where we have, uh,
531
00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,833
the sun comes down, right?
532
00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:30,833
Eric: Yeah.
533
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:34,083
Amir: And also, uh,
534
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:34,083
CO2 feeds in --
535
00:11:30,833 --> 00:11:34,083
Donny: Eric.
536
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,208
Eric: Yo, what's up, Donny?!
537
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,208
Amir: What...is this?
538
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,833
Donny: Can I watch TV here?
539
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,833
Eric: Yeah, man.
540
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,917
Amir: Who are you?
541
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,917
Hi. I'm Amir.
542
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:41,708
Donny:
543
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:41,708
Hi. I'm gonna get high.
544
00:11:41,708 --> 00:11:44,292
Amir: How high do you have
545
00:11:41,708 --> 00:11:44,292
to be to invite a friend over
546
00:11:44,292 --> 00:11:46,167
to a house
547
00:11:44,292 --> 00:11:46,167
you don't even own yet?!
548
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:47,833
Why didn't you buy
549
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:47,833
a smaller bong?
550
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:49,125
Donny: Oh, bigger's better.
551
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,875
Amir: No, that's --
552
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,875
Not in this case.
553
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,375
You can't light it.
554
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,375
You can't light the --
555
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:56,000
What the hell's wro--
556
00:11:53,375 --> 00:11:56,000
What the hell is this?
557
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,458
Eric, what is this?
558
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,458
Jesus Christ!
559
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,458
Eric: [ Groaning ]
560
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,625
Amir: No! No! No!
561
00:11:58,458 --> 00:12:00,625
Donny: So cool.
562
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:02,458
Amir: Don't get high!
563
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:02,458
Do not get --
564
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,208
Okay. Party's over.
565
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,208
Party's over.
566
00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:05,667
Donny: I'm not done yet.
567
00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:05,667
Amir: Party's over.
568
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,208
Amir: God...damn it!
569
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:07,208
Eric: Party just started.
570
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:08,500
I got Donny Long Bong to leave
571
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,167
so that
572
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,167
we could get back to work.
573
00:12:10,167 --> 00:12:11,500
So, what I need from you
574
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,458
is just a little bit
575
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,458
of concentration.
576
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,833
Dude, you've got bones,
577
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,833
and you've got joints,
578
00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:19,375
and they're all held together
579
00:12:15,833 --> 00:12:19,375
by muscle, tendons.
580
00:12:19,375 --> 00:12:20,583
Eric: Tissue.
581
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,083
Amir: Tissue! Yes!
582
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,083
Eric: Yeah!
583
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:23,458
Amir: Awesome.
584
00:12:22,083 --> 00:12:23,458
Eric: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
585
00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:24,917
Amir: Good job, man.
586
00:12:23,458 --> 00:12:24,917
That's great.
587
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,833
Eric: I remember this.
588
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,833
Alan: [ Chuckling ]
589
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,375
Amir: Wha-- Uh, who are you?
590
00:12:28,375 --> 00:12:29,583
Amir: Who is this?
591
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,875
Alan: You said "bone."
592
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:30,875
[ Laughs]
593
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,458
Eric: Allen!
594
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:33,625
Alan: What's up, dude?
595
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:33,625
Eric: What's up, Al?
596
00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:35,375
Amir: You know this man?
597
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,792
Eric: Yeah. No. He's my friend.
598
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,792
Alan: He said my name.
599
00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:38,333
Amir: Oh, why,
600
00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:38,333
It's Eric's friend Allen
601
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,708
and his other friend,
602
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:40,708
Allen's tank of nitrous.
603
00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:43,417
Hey, man, uh,
604
00:12:40,708 --> 00:12:43,417
we're trying to work here
605
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:45,667
so you can get a new digs
606
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,625
for your smoking
607
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:47,625
and your sniffing, man.
608
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:49,417
So I need you to take your stuff
609
00:12:49,417 --> 00:12:51,250
and go back over there
610
00:12:49,417 --> 00:12:51,250
to the guy
611
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,375
who will never smoke his bong
612
00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:53,375
'cause it's too big for him.
613
00:12:53,375 --> 00:12:54,667
Donny: I can do it!
614
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:55,875
Alan: He can do it.
615
00:12:54,667 --> 00:12:55,875
I've seen him.
616
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,375
Amir: Really?
617
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,375
Alan: Yeah.
618
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,667
Amir: What?
619
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,667
Does he light it with his toes?
620
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,042
Donny: Ohhh!
621
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,042
Alan: Ohhh!
622
00:13:00,042 --> 00:13:02,500
Amir: Oh, Jesus, go! Go!
623
00:13:00,042 --> 00:13:02,500
Alan: Dude! Dude!
624
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,792
Amir: [ Sighs ]
625
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,792
It's like they're literally
626
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,792
smoking away my commission.
627
00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:06,208
Let's talk about reproduction.
628
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:08,042
Eric: Oh, yeah.
629
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:08,042
I know all about this.
630
00:13:08,042 --> 00:13:10,333
Amir: Yes. Well, apparently,
631
00:13:08,042 --> 00:13:10,333
you are a gynecologist, as well.
632
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:11,750
Eric: Yeah.
633
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:11,750
Amir: Yes. Okay. So --
634
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,208
[ Upbeat music plays ]
635
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:15,125
Heather: Yeeeeeeeeah!
636
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,625
Eric: Yooooooo!
637
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,625
What's up, Heatherrrr?
638
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:20,542
Heather:
639
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:20,542
Time for some sweet jams, man!
640
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:23,333
Eric: Oh, yeah!
641
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:23,333
Turn that music up!
642
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,625
Amir: God damn it! Okay.
643
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:25,625
No. No, no, no, no! No!
644
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:27,292
Heather: Yeah!
645
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:27,292
Amir: There's no party going on!
646
00:13:27,292 --> 00:13:28,375
Heather: Whoo!
647
00:13:27,292 --> 00:13:28,375
Alan: There's a party!
648
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:29,958
Amir: Eric, back to the couch!
649
00:13:29,958 --> 00:13:32,292
Eric! Eric, stop doing that
650
00:13:29,958 --> 00:13:32,292
with your shoulders!
651
00:13:32,292 --> 00:13:33,667
Stop moving your shoulders!
652
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,417
Eric, stop moving
653
00:13:33,667 --> 00:13:35,417
your shoulders!
654
00:13:35,417 --> 00:13:38,375
God damn it! Stop moving
655
00:13:35,417 --> 00:13:38,375
your shoulders like that, Eric!
656
00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:39,792
Heather: Crank it!
657
00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:39,792
Amir: Come on! I need you!
658
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,708
"Stay in school.
659
00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,708
Don't do drugs."
660
00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:43,917
I believe it now.
661
00:13:41,708 --> 00:13:43,917
Look what it's done to my life.
662
00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:46,375
Heather: Whoooooooooooooo!
663
00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:53,750
????
664
00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:58,500
Andrew: I'm still showing
665
00:13:56,042 --> 00:13:58,500
the house to Merry,
666
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:02,167
and she's still narrating
667
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:02,167
everything she sees.
668
00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:05,292
It's the east wing guest room.
669
00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:05,292
I love this room.
670
00:14:05,292 --> 00:14:07,458
Merry:
671
00:14:05,292 --> 00:14:07,458
Look at this four-post bed.
672
00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,625
What is this made out of?
673
00:14:07,458 --> 00:14:09,625
Andrew: It's walnut.
674
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,208
Merry: Mm, nut.
675
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,208
Andrew: Walnut.
676
00:14:11,208 --> 00:14:13,292
Merry: Hmm.
677
00:14:11,208 --> 00:14:13,292
I'm wondering about the style.
678
00:14:13,292 --> 00:14:15,625
I can't really pinpoint it.
679
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,542
Victorian?
680
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,542
Andrew: Not Victorian.
681
00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:20,417
That's more of a, uh, Art Deco.
682
00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:20,417
Merry: Hard dick, though?
683
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:22,250
Andrew: What's that?
684
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:22,250
Merry: What?
685
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,667
Andrew: I didn't say anything.
686
00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,667
Merry: Mm, I love these rugs.
687
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:26,125
Andrew: Yeah.
688
00:14:24,667 --> 00:14:26,125
Theses are Persian rugs.
689
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,208
But I do have to remind you
690
00:14:26,125 --> 00:14:28,208
that the rugs
691
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:29,500
do not come with the property.
692
00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,500
I wish they did.
693
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,792
Merry: She was devastated.
694
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:36,625
She could see herself be taken
695
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:36,625
on the rug from behind,
696
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,083
seeping in
697
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,083
all its ancient humanity,
698
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:43,833
just a little bit of butt sweat
699
00:14:40,083 --> 00:14:43,833
just dripping down, just...
700
00:14:43,833 --> 00:14:46,375
[ Popping lips ]
701
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,208
Andrew: Even I know
702
00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:48,208
what a lady is talking about
703
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,208
when she talks about
704
00:14:48,208 --> 00:14:50,208
butt sweat --
705
00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:53,125
S-E-K-S.
706
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,583
Seks.
707
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:56,542
Merry: She especially
708
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:56,542
couldn't help but wonder
709
00:14:56,542 --> 00:15:00,625
if the drapes
710
00:14:56,542 --> 00:15:00,625
matched the man-rug.
711
00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:01,958
Andrew: Oh.
712
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,042
Um, he definitely
713
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:04,042
wanted to let her know
714
00:15:04,042 --> 00:15:08,417
that the drapes actually
715
00:15:04,042 --> 00:15:08,417
didn't match the carpet.
716
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,833
Merry: Oh. "What color
717
00:15:08,417 --> 00:15:11,833
is it down there?" she wondered.
718
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,500
Andrew: He wanted
719
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,500
to let her know that,
720
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,333
because of
721
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:16,333
his strong Irish genes,
722
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:19,250
that he had sort of a deep red.
723
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,625
Merry: Oh.
724
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,625
You're crotch Irish.
725
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:23,542
Andrew: Leprecock.
726
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:27,375
Merry:
727
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:27,375
She wanted to let this leprecock
728
00:15:23,542 --> 00:15:27,375
find his pot of gold.
729
00:15:27,375 --> 00:15:29,625
Andrew: [ Irish accent ] Shar
730
00:15:27,375 --> 00:15:29,625
ti tar di tar ti tar ta tar tar.
731
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:32,125
Merry: Mm. "Do you want
732
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:32,125
to taste my rainbow?"
733
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:33,667
she seductively asked.
734
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,333
Andrew: [ Normal voice ]
735
00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:35,333
Is it magically delicious?
736
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:37,333
Merry: You'd like to find out,
737
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:37,333
wouldn't you?
738
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,958
Andrew: He approached her...
739
00:15:39,958 --> 00:15:43,042
and...dodged her shoe...
740
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,667
knowing that, uh...
741
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,500
something
742
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,500
was about to happen.
743
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,667
Merry: She could tell which way
744
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:50,667
this pony wanted to trot.
745
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:52,917
Was she starring
746
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:52,917
in the Broadway show "Equus"?
747
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,542
Andrew: That's the one
748
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,542
where the guy gets naked?
749
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:55,708
Merry: It was horse-themed.
750
00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:55,708
Andrew: Yes.
751
00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,500
Okay. Yeah.
752
00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,500
He said, "Yes."
753
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,208
Merry:
754
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:00,208
Well, come on, little pony.
755
00:16:00,208 --> 00:16:02,667
"Ride me home," she screamed.
756
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:04,458
Andrew: [ Whinnies ]
757
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:04,458
Merry: Oh, yes!
758
00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:07,292
Andrew: [ Strained ] He wanted
759
00:16:04,458 --> 00:16:07,292
her to get off the horse
760
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:09,542
because he had
761
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:09,542
some lower-back pro--
762
00:16:07,292 --> 00:16:09,542
Merry: Oh, no. Oh, God.
763
00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:10,958
She understands sciatica.
764
00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:12,625
She's been on medication
765
00:16:10,958 --> 00:16:12,625
for years.
766
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,708
Andrew: Seriously, it is
767
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,708
the biggest pain in the ass.
768
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,833
I threw my back out
769
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,833
from holding in a sneeze.
770
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,542
Merry: Oh, yes!
771
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,542
Andrew: Yes!
772
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,333
Merry: When she looked
773
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,333
into his eyes,
774
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:23,375
she knew that he was willing
775
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:23,375
to go down on her
776
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:25,000
for nothing in return!
777
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,542
Andrew: He agreed to do it,
778
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,542
sort of, but only knowing
779
00:16:28,542 --> 00:16:31,292
that she would eventually
780
00:16:28,542 --> 00:16:31,292
do the same thing to him?
781
00:16:31,292 --> 00:16:34,458
Merry: She would think about it,
782
00:16:31,292 --> 00:16:34,458
depending on how well this went.
783
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:37,417
Andrew: Bb-bb-bb-bb-bb-bb-bb!
784
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:37,417
Merry: Yes! Oh, God, yes! And --
785
00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:38,750
I mean, no, no, no.
786
00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:38,750
Andrew: Aw-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa!
787
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,500
Merry: Backspace! Backspace!
788
00:16:38,750 --> 00:16:40,500
Delete!
789
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,125
Andrew: Delete.
790
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,125
Merry: Delete.
791
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,000
Andrew: How about this? Hoo!
792
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:44,000
Merry: Oh, God, yes!
793
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,500
Ctrl + V! Ctrl + V!
794
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,833
Andrew: New window!
795
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,833
Merry: Oh, yes!
796
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,292
Andrew: New window!
797
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,292
Merry: Oh, God!
798
00:16:49,292 --> 00:16:53,333
Andrew: New windooooooooooooow!
799
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:55,500
Merry:
800
00:16:53,333 --> 00:16:55,500
Get the Steve Job done!
801
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:56,333
Andrew: Ohh!
802
00:17:00,625 --> 00:17:02,792
????
803
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,375
Glenn: Mmm!
804
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,375
DJ: Mmmmm!
805
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:10,625
Glenn: Oh, this was
806
00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:10,625
such a good idea.
807
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,083
DJ: Mm-hmm.
808
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,083
Glenn: Mmm.
809
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,667
I have been working
810
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,667
very hard all week --
811
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,667
physically, mentally,
812
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:17,667
and spiritually --
813
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:20,083
to get this office into shape.
814
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:23,250
But right now,
815
00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:23,250
what my soul needs
816
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,417
is a fun lunch
817
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,417
with my childhood pal Glenn.
818
00:17:26,417 --> 00:17:28,417
Glenn: I can't believe
819
00:17:26,417 --> 00:17:28,417
that you're eating the crust.
820
00:17:28,417 --> 00:17:30,250
Dude, that's so gross.
821
00:17:28,417 --> 00:17:30,250
[ Laughs ]
822
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,375
DJ: What are you talking about?
823
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,375
It's so good.
824
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,333
Every piece of this sandwich
825
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,333
is good.
826
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:37,208
Peanut butter and jelly
827
00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:37,208
is my jam and jelly.
828
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:38,583
Glenn:
829
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:38,583
My favorite part's the bread.
830
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:40,333
DJ: Then why aren't you
831
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:40,333
eating the crust?
832
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,000
Glenn:
833
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,000
Because the crust is gross.
834
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,000
That's not bread.
835
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,833
DJ: It is bread.
836
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,833
It's ends of bread.
837
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,792
Glenn: What?
838
00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:45,792
DJ: It's the ends of bread.
839
00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,000
Glenn: Well, I'm not interested
840
00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,000
in the ends of bread.
841
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,667
I want the soft middle.
842
00:17:51,292 --> 00:17:53,000
[ Both laugh ]
843
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,292
DJ: Ooh, ooh, ooh!
844
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,292
It's your turn to call.
845
00:17:54,292 --> 00:17:55,625
It's your turn to do
846
00:17:54,292 --> 00:17:55,625
a prank call.
847
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,167
Glenn: My turn?
848
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,167
DJ: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
849
00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:58,667
Glenn: Who should I call?
850
00:17:57,167 --> 00:17:58,667
DJ: Mmmmm...
851
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,667
Glenn: Hold on.
852
00:17:58,667 --> 00:18:00,667
DJ: Mmmmm....
853
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:01,708
Glenn: Mm!
854
00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:03,542
DJ: Mmmmm.
855
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:04,958
Glenn:
856
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:04,958
I'm calling Victoria.
857
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,875
DJ: No!
858
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:07,875
Glenn: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
859
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:10,458
I got a good one.
860
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:10,458
Okay.
861
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:11,833
[ Beep ]
862
00:18:10,458 --> 00:18:11,833
Shh, shh, shh.
863
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,458
Victoria: Victoria King.
864
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:15,958
Glenn: [ Deep voice ]
865
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:15,958
Uh...hello.
866
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:17,458
This is the pharmacy calling.
867
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:20,750
Your explosive-diarrhea medicine
868
00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:20,750
is ready.
869
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:22,375
Victoria: Oh, great.
870
00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:24,083
I thought it wouldn't be ready
871
00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:24,083
until next Thursday.
872
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:25,833
Glenn: I bet
873
00:18:24,083 --> 00:18:25,833
that's what you thought,
874
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:28,250
but I know you need help
875
00:18:25,833 --> 00:18:28,250
with it right now,
876
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:30,958
so it's ready to go.
877
00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:33,042
Victoria: Oh, wow.
878
00:18:30,958 --> 00:18:33,042
That's a relief.
879
00:18:33,042 --> 00:18:35,833
Glenn: I-I-I bet it's going to
880
00:18:33,042 --> 00:18:35,833
be a big relief for you.
881
00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:38,542
I-I-I heard you
882
00:18:35,833 --> 00:18:38,542
through the wall.
883
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:40,375
It's terrible.
884
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:43,333
Victoria: What do you mean,
885
00:18:40,375 --> 00:18:43,333
you heard me through the wall?
886
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:45,208
Glenn: [ Normal voice ]
887
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:45,208
You're a bad person!
888
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,000
[ Both laugh ]
889
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,208
DJ: All right. Let me go.
890
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,208
Let me go. Let me go.
891
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,208
Let me go. Let me go.
892
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:52,083
Glenn: Who are you gonna call?
893
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:52,083
DJ: Uh...Amir.
894
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,292
Glenn: Yes!
895
00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,292
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
896
00:18:54,292 --> 00:18:56,542
[ Beep ]
897
00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:58,750
Amir: Amir Yaghoob.
898
00:18:56,542 --> 00:18:58,750
DJ: Uh, hey, Amir.
899
00:18:58,750 --> 00:19:00,375
Uh, you're doing a great job,
900
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,292
and I'm happy that
901
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:02,292
you're working for the company.
902
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:05,292
Amir: Who is this?
903
00:19:02,292 --> 00:19:05,292
DJ: It's your boss -- DJ.
904
00:19:05,292 --> 00:19:07,792
[ Laughs hysterically ]
905
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:19,708
Got him!
906
00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:21,875
Glenn: Boy, he definitely
907
00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:21,875
knows who pranked him.
908
00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,000
DJ: Yeah.
909
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,042
But it wasn't me.
910
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,042
It was this guy.
911
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,833
Glenn: [ Laughing ]
912
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,625
DJ is so funny.
913
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,625
I swear.
914
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:32,917
I couldn't love that guy more
915
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:32,917
if he was my own brother.
916
00:19:32,917 --> 00:19:35,042
[ Both laughing ]
917
00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:37,167
????
918
00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:41,250
Andrew:
919
00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:41,250
I just got done showing Merry
920
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:43,542
some of the features available
921
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:43,542
in the bedroom.
922
00:19:43,542 --> 00:19:45,042
Wink.
923
00:19:45,042 --> 00:19:47,542
Now it's time to make a sale.
924
00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:49,750
Merry:
925
00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:49,750
Although he failed her once,
926
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,917
he eventually did bring the hen
927
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,917
home to roost.
928
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,750
Regardless, however,
929
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,750
she couldn't understand
930
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:57,333
why he was still panting
931
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,125
when they finished
932
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:59,125
10 minutes ago.
933
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:01,083
Seriously,
934
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:01,083
why are you still panting?
935
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:03,583
Andrew: He has some ic--
936
00:20:01,083 --> 00:20:03,583
a cardio problems.
937
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,875
He hasn't been doing
938
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,875
his NordicTrack. [ Panting ]
939
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:08,458
Merry: She did come up with
940
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:08,458
a game plan, however, though.
941
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:11,417
As terrible as she felt
942
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:11,417
about cheating on Pierre,
943
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:14,167
she knew that she was
944
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:14,167
going to leave him,
945
00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:17,417
marry this Andrew
946
00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:17,417
who drew her so close to him,
947
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,250
buy the house,
948
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,625
[whispering] but then end up
949
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,625
cheating on Andrew with Pierre.
950
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:24,000
Andrew: I'm sorry.
951
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:24,000
Or alternate ending.
952
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,625
Merry: It's just alt ending.
953
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:28,833
Andrew: Alt ending --
954
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:28,833
uh, she could buy the house,
955
00:20:28,833 --> 00:20:30,583
uh, stay with Pierre,
956
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:33,833
and just use Andrew for sex
957
00:20:30,583 --> 00:20:33,833
three or four times a week.
958
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,208
Merry: Hmm.
959
00:20:35,208 --> 00:20:36,875
She would consider it
960
00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:39,792
if Andrew promised to do
961
00:20:36,875 --> 00:20:39,792
more cardiovascular activity...
962
00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:41,875
Andrew: Here we go. I'll try.
963
00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:41,875
Merry: ...and that
964
00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:41,875
the previous owners
965
00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:44,000
would throw in the Persian rugs.
966
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,292
Andrew: Yes, they will throw in
967
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,292
the Persian rugs.
968
00:20:45,292 --> 00:20:47,250
Merry: Really?
969
00:20:45,292 --> 00:20:47,250
Andrew: It's a deal.
970
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,708
Merry:
971
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,708
"It's a deal," she thought --
972
00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:49,708
and knew in her heart.
973
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,417
Andrew: Fuck on it?
974
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,417
Merry: Fuck on it.
975
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,958
Andrew: Okay.
976
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,958
Let's fuck on it.
977
00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:57,208
????
978
00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:04,292
Amir:
979
00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:04,292
Donny, how many chromosomes
980
00:21:02,208 --> 00:21:04,292
in the human body?
981
00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:06,083
Donny: 46.
982
00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:06,083
Amir: Yes!
983
00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:08,708
I really want this commission,
984
00:21:06,083 --> 00:21:08,708
so I have no choice
985
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,333
but to tutor Eric
986
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:10,333
and his friends.
987
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,875
I think I'm finally
988
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:11,875
getting through to them.
989
00:21:11,875 --> 00:21:13,750
Heather, what is
990
00:21:11,875 --> 00:21:13,750
the powerhouse of the cell?
991
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,375
Heather: Uh, mitochondria.
992
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,375
Amir: Yes!
993
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:18,333
Allen, what is the opposing
994
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:18,333
base pair to adenine?
995
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:20,250
Alan: Thymine.
996
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:20,250
Amir: Thymine! Yes!
997
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:25,792
Eric, my man,
998
00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:25,792
what does "DNA" stand for?
999
00:21:25,792 --> 00:21:28,292
Eric: It stands for...
1000
00:21:28,292 --> 00:21:31,167
deoxyribonucleic acid.
1001
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:34,000
Amir: Yes.
1002
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
[ Voice breaking ]
1003
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,000
When I got here this morning,
1004
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,167
you guys were a bunch
1005
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,167
of disgusting human beings.
1006
00:21:39,167 --> 00:21:42,708
And you guys did the impossible.
1007
00:21:42,708 --> 00:21:45,250
And I am more proud
1008
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,625
than I ever thought
1009
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:48,625
that I would ever be.
1010
00:21:50,208 --> 00:21:52,667
So thank you.
1011
00:21:52,667 --> 00:21:56,750
Eric: They say biology is
1012
00:21:52,667 --> 00:21:56,750
the study of all living things.
1013
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,458
A frog is a reptile.
1014
00:22:00,458 --> 00:22:01,917
Amir: It's an amphibian.
1015
00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:03,417
God, I hope
1016
00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:03,417
that's not on the test.
1017
00:22:03,417 --> 00:22:04,917
Eric: An eagle is a bird.
1018
00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:06,208
[ Eagle cries ]
1019
00:22:06,208 --> 00:22:09,375
And a human is a mammal.
1020
00:22:09,375 --> 00:22:11,625
But all of those things...
1021
00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:13,167
have a heart.
1022
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,458
And you taught that to me.
1023
00:22:16,458 --> 00:22:18,042
Amir:
1024
00:22:16,458 --> 00:22:18,042
We're gonna buy this house,
1025
00:22:18,042 --> 00:22:20,708
and I'm gonna get
1026
00:22:18,042 --> 00:22:20,708
my commission,
1027
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:22,750
and I'm gonna buy
1028
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:22,750
another Rolex.
1029
00:22:24,417 --> 00:22:27,583
[ Inhales sharply, exhales ]
1030
00:22:27,583 --> 00:22:29,292
Eric: O captain, my captain.
1031
00:22:31,708 --> 00:22:34,500
Alan: O captain, my captain.
1032
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,500
Heather: [ Voice breaking ]
1033
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,500
O captain, my captain.
1034
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:40,167
Donny:
1035
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:40,167
O captain, my captain.
1036
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,792
Amir: Is that from a movie
1037
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,792
or something?
1038
00:22:44,792 --> 00:22:49,250
I will never forget
1039
00:22:44,792 --> 00:22:49,250
each and every one of you.
1040
00:22:52,083 --> 00:22:53,500
[ Whimpers ]
1041
00:22:59,417 --> 00:23:00,792
Eric: He's gone.
1042
00:22:59,417 --> 00:23:00,792
Donny: Good.
1043
00:23:00,792 --> 00:23:02,250
[ Book thuds ]
1044
00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,292
Amir: He failed!
1045
00:23:06,292 --> 00:23:07,917
Apparently, there was
1046
00:23:06,292 --> 00:23:07,917
a whole essay section on frogs.
1047
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,250
????
1048
00:23:16,458 --> 00:23:18,542
Baxter:
1049
00:23:16,458 --> 00:23:18,542
But I want the gift to be of,
1050
00:23:18,542 --> 00:23:20,083
like, a person
1051
00:23:18,542 --> 00:23:20,083
actually being shocked.
1052
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:21,458
Victoria: Oh,
1053
00:23:20,083 --> 00:23:21,458
like an electric shock.
1054
00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:23,000
Baxter: Yeah,
1055
00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:23,000
like an electric shock.
1056
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,625
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
1057
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,625
Victoria: Oh, my God.
1058
00:23:24,625 --> 00:23:26,125
Baxter: That's a --
1059
00:23:24,625 --> 00:23:26,125
That's a fire in a trash can.
1060
00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:28,083
Chelsea:
1061
00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:28,083
Should we run away fast?
1062
00:23:28,083 --> 00:23:29,667
Victoria:
1063
00:23:28,083 --> 00:23:29,667
No, just breathe in the smoke.
1064
00:23:28,083 --> 00:23:29,667
Breathe in the smoke.
1065
00:23:29,667 --> 00:23:30,792
Baxter: [ Coughing ]
1066
00:23:30,792 --> 00:23:32,875
This must be a test from Dean.
1067
00:23:32,875 --> 00:23:35,667
This is what we've been
1068
00:23:32,875 --> 00:23:35,667
training for. We got this.
1069
00:23:35,667 --> 00:23:37,208
Chelsea:
1070
00:23:35,667 --> 00:23:37,208
Shit! That's a fire.
1071
00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:38,542
Should I make sure
1072
00:23:37,208 --> 00:23:38,542
it's a hot one, though?
1073
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,333
Baxter: Uh...
1074
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,333
I don't know if that's --
1075
00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:41,833
I don't know if that's a thing,
1076
00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:41,833
a cold fire.
1077
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:43,792
Victoria: Oh, my God!
1078
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:43,792
Did it burn you?
1079
00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:45,542
Chelsea: Nope. It was just --
1080
00:23:43,792 --> 00:23:45,542
It just reminded me.
1081
00:23:45,542 --> 00:23:47,125
Baxter: Ow! Ow. Okay.
1082
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,208
Victoria: What did it feel like?
1083
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,208
Does it feel like --
1084
00:23:49,208 --> 00:23:51,458
Oh, my --
1085
00:23:49,208 --> 00:23:51,458
It burns, you guys!
1086
00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:53,375
Chelsea: We can handle this.
1087
00:23:53,375 --> 00:23:55,208
All: Stop!
1088
00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,458
Drop.
1089
00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,458
Chelsea: Oh.
1090
00:23:56,458 --> 00:23:57,875
Victoria: Drop.
1091
00:23:57,875 --> 00:23:59,500
Baxter:
1092
00:23:57,875 --> 00:23:59,500
What comes after "drop"?
1093
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,708
Victoria: Dean's probably hiding
1094
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,708
somewhere in the room.
1095
00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:03,917
Baxter: Okay, this is working.
1096
00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:03,917
Victoria: Okay, this is better.
1097
00:24:03,917 --> 00:24:06,167
Chelsea:
1098
00:24:03,917 --> 00:24:06,167
Dean must be so proud of us.
1099
00:24:06,167 --> 00:24:07,500
Victoria: Did we stop?
1100
00:24:06,167 --> 00:24:07,500
Baxter: Yeah.
1101
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,167
Chelsea: We did it.
1102
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:09,167
Victoria: Okay.
1103
00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:11,250
Baxter: Okay.
1104
00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:11,250
Victoria: Oh, God.
1105
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:13,417
Baxter: Great.
1106
00:24:11,250 --> 00:24:13,417
Victoria: Okay. Yeah!
1107
00:24:13,417 --> 00:24:15,458
Baxter: Good job, guys!
1108
00:24:13,417 --> 00:24:15,458
Way to stay calm!
1109
00:24:15,458 --> 00:24:16,833
Chelsea: Yeah! We did it!
1110
00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:18,625
All: We passed Dean's test!
1111
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,208
Victoria: Yay!
1112
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:20,208
Baxter: Okay, great!
1113
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:22,542
Dean: What? No. I didn't set up
1114
00:24:20,208 --> 00:24:22,542
any further test.
1115
00:24:22,542 --> 00:24:24,542
You say there's a fire
1116
00:24:22,542 --> 00:24:24,542
in the breakroom?
1117
00:24:24,542 --> 00:24:29,333
Oh, what I wouldn't give to be
1118
00:24:24,542 --> 00:24:29,333
the second responder for once!
1119
00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:31,208
Clear the floor!
1120
00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:31,208
Make a hole!
1121
00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:32,250
Out of the way!
1122
00:24:32,250 --> 00:24:34,375
[ Sirens wailing ]
1123
00:24:36,583 --> 00:24:38,708
????
1124
00:24:38,758 --> 00:24:43,308
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