All language subtitles for Bajillion Dollar Properties s02e05 Amir vs Dean.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,516 [ Gong sounds ] 2 00:00:22,422 --> 00:00:25,758 Amir: Ah. Dean, Dean, Dean. 3 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:35,534 Check and mate. 4 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,471 Dean: You know we weren't actually playing 5 00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:41,040 a game of chess? 6 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,708 You can't just walk onto a football field, 7 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,644 throw a football down in front of the goalpost 8 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,579 and say "Touchdown." -Amir: I know. 9 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,248 Dean: You don't just say a catchphrase 10 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,382 and then you've won a game. 11 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,617 Amir: I get it, I get that. 12 00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,218 -Dean: Do you get it? -Amir: Yes. 13 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,188 Check and mate, figuratively check and mate. 14 00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,424 Dean: What are you talking about, Amir? 15 00:01:02,262 --> 00:01:04,063 You need me to move this back? -Amir: Yeah. 16 00:01:04,065 --> 00:01:05,197 Dean: You want some leaning room? 17 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,132 Amir: Please. 18 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:10,069 I know a little something... 19 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:15,774 that might get in the way of you winning your TODD. 20 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:18,410 TODD stands for Tony, Oscar, Diamond Dealmaker. 21 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,380 If Dean wins the double-D, he completes his TODD. 22 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:24,283 I have a piece of information... 23 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,318 that can take you down. 24 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,153 Dean: Amir, what is this information 25 00:01:28,155 --> 00:01:30,189 that you think you have 26 00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,458 that's going to cripple me in some way? 27 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:36,095 Amir: Not only is this gonna cripple you in some way, 28 00:01:36,097 --> 00:01:39,765 it is gonna make you quadriplegic. 29 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,169 Figuratively. Again, I'm not threatening to... 30 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:45,471 Dean: That's good to know. 31 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,473 It's good to know you weren't threatening 32 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,608 to make me a physical quadriplegic. 33 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,176 Amir: That is not what I'm doing. 34 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,112 Dean: Because that's an actionable offense. 35 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:55,147 And I would call the police. -Amir: I'm not doing that. 36 00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,282 What I am threatening 37 00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:02,287 is to make you into a metaphoric quadriplegic. 38 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,790 Dean: Amir, spit it out! 39 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:09,428 Amir: I know... 40 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:12,131 that Glenn is your son. 41 00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:34,186 ?? 42 00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,622 Dean: I want you to think about something. 43 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:41,260 Is this really what you want to do? 44 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:45,797 Do you want to open the door to extortion? 45 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:52,804 Because that is a door that is very difficult to shut. 46 00:02:52,806 --> 00:02:55,407 Amir: I can shut whatever I want. 47 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,776 Dean: Don't do my -- Don't do my voice. 48 00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:02,614 Amir: Well, then consider the door open... 49 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,283 for now. 50 00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,818 I won't let Dean intimidate me. 51 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,820 I'm in total control here. 52 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:14,726 Make me partner. 53 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,695 Dean: Now we come to it. 54 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,331 These are your terms? 55 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:22,534 I make you a partner or else you tell everyone 56 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,469 that Glenn is my son. 57 00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:25,671 Amir: Exactly. 58 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:29,708 I will tweet it, I will Instagram it, 59 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:33,845 I will tattoo it on my forehead. 60 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:37,216 Yeah. Dean, I will. 61 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,750 Dean as deadbeat dad 62 00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,719 with bastard son of cleaning lady?! 63 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,854 Realtor Magazine is going to shit itself, 64 00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,457 and Dean will never win that award. 65 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,459 Dean: Let me tell you something, Amir, 66 00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:51,897 you may think you have the upper hand here... 67 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,800 but there's something you should know about me. 68 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:03,542 I am more powerful than you can possibly imagine. 69 00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:06,411 Amir: Well, regardless of what's going on with me and you, 70 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,813 it looks great. 71 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,249 Dean: Thank you very much. I appreciate that. 72 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:13,452 Amir: You have until 5:00 p.m. tomorrow. 73 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,020 Dean: You have until 4:00 p.m. 74 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:18,457 Amir: Then let's split the difference -- 4:30. 75 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,492 Dean: 3:00 p.m. 76 00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:23,028 Amir: Checkmate. 77 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,663 Dean: Nope, it's not checkmate. 78 00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:28,500 Amir: The door is open to checkmate. 79 00:04:28,502 --> 00:04:31,036 Dean: I'll grant you that, the door is open to checkmate. 80 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:34,740 Amir: Oh, damn it. 81 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,575 Actually, I have a conference call at 3:00. 82 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,443 Just 3:30, please. -Dean: 2:55. 83 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,312 Amir: Gah! 84 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,884 Dean: I kept making the time sooner. 85 00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:54,626 Chelsea: Carla. Hi. 86 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,328 This house has a raccoon problem, 87 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,896 which is not good for my business, 88 00:04:57,898 --> 00:05:00,399 so I called in an exterminator to get rid of them. 89 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:02,634 Carla: It's not a little raccoon problem, you should know. 90 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,037 You're dealing with an extremely intelligent animal. 91 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:07,939 They're brains work together. It's sort of exponential. 92 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,775 Chelsea: Oh. Carla: It's like a raccoon 93 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:12,077 times a raccoon doesn't just make four raccoons. 94 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,912 -Chelsea: No, it makes two. -Carla: No. 95 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,381 It makes a lot more raccoons. Does that make sense? 96 00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,016 Chelsea: Because they breed quickly or something? 97 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,418 Carla: No. I'm making a metaphor. 98 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,686 Chelsea: Oh, I'm sorry. 99 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,020 How long do you think it will take? 100 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,622 Carla: I won't know until I get inside, 101 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,657 and once I'm in, I can't communicate with you, so. 102 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,526 Chelsea: Why can't you communicate with me? 103 00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:30,829 Carla: Because then they'll know that I'm not a raccoon. 104 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,898 Chelsea: As long as she gets rid of these raccoons quickly, 105 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,800 I don't care how she does it. 106 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,903 So, you're gonna set a bunch of traps and kill -- 107 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:40,972 Carla: No traps, no. Nobody's getting killed, okay? 108 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,941 These are, like, almost human-level animals. 109 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,110 -Chelsea: Are they? -Carla: Yeah, absolutely. 110 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,712 Have you ever communicated with one? 111 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,447 -Chelsea: How? -Carla: Made eye contact? 112 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,615 You could go to Starbucks and have a better conversation 113 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,784 with a raccoon than you could with any of your friends. 114 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:54,619 Chelsea: Why are there raccoons in that Starbucks? 115 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,121 Carla: What are you talking about? 116 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,357 Chelsea: Why would there be a raccoon in a Starbucks? 117 00:05:58,359 --> 00:06:00,559 Carla: I'm just saying a raccoon. 118 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,861 Okay, I -- metaphorics are not your thing? 119 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,730 Chelsea: No, I'm just trying to follow. 120 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:07,933 Carla: Okay, what I'm saying to you is raccoons communicate 121 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,835 even though they're not saying words. 122 00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:11,570 Chelsea: Okay. 123 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,805 Carla: You know when you go on a good date with somebody 124 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,640 and there's lots of pauses and you're like, 125 00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,042 "God, this is a real connection," 126 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,777 but you're not really saying that much? 127 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,545 Chelsea: Right. Carla: And then you go home 128 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,381 and fuck like wild rabbits. -Chelsea: Sure. 129 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,649 Carla: That's the same kind of thing with these raccoons. 130 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,852 -Chelsea: They're like rabbits? -Carla: They communicate -- 131 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:28,687 Oh, Jesus Christ. -Chelsea: I just -- 132 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,789 You add a lot of animals in, and I'm not sure -- 133 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,058 Carla: I've only added one animal and Starbucks, 134 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,659 and they both threw you. 135 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:35,994 Chelsea: She thinks I'm weird 136 00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:37,696 because I don't understand her metaphors. 137 00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:41,833 Oh. That is like the pot jumping into the frying-pan fire. 138 00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:44,870 So, how do you, uh, get them to leave? 139 00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,738 Carla: I gotta infiltrate. 140 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,974 I gotta find out is it a couple brothers running the joint. 141 00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,176 I gotta get into raccoon mode, get them to trust me. 142 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,044 It won't take me long to get into raccoon mode 143 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,480 'cause I did a lot of character clown workshops in college. 144 00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,048 -Chelsea: Oh. -Carla: Great. 145 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,050 Chelsea: Great. Okay, so do you need anything from me? 146 00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,519 [ Raccoon chatters ] Carla: Oh, shit! 147 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,487 -Chelsea: What, what?! -Carla: Okay. 148 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,890 -Chelsea: Don't do that. -Carla: I just heard one, okay, 149 00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,558 and they started talking. -Chelsea: What? 150 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,959 Carla: And I can't be seen with you. 151 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,795 -Chelsea: What? -Carla: Okay, I'll be back. 152 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,563 [ Raccoon chatters ] Chelsea: Uh...Carla? 153 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,498 Carla: Shut up. 154 00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:18,537 Chelsea: That... 155 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,682 ?? 156 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,150 Victoria: You know, Mr. Friendly, 157 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,085 I think you're really going to enjoy this house. 158 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,754 Tug: Oh, miss, please -- Mr. Friendly. 159 00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,722 Mr. Friendly is my father's name. 160 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:39,825 Tug: My father died in a horrible industrial accident. 161 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,194 Decapitated. -Victoria: Oh, God. 162 00:07:42,196 --> 00:07:44,062 Tug: Head came clean off. 163 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,766 I still see it rolling around on the floor in my dreams. 164 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,167 Call me Tug. My name is Tug. 165 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:50,802 Victoria: Great, Tug. 166 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,572 Let's see the rest of the house over this way. 167 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,607 Coming through here, as you can see, 168 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,242 a great entertaining space. 169 00:08:02,181 --> 00:08:04,883 If you're having a special someone over, 170 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,953 I think this is quite a romantic area. 171 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,621 If I do -- if I do say so myself. 172 00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,189 If it was me invited, I -- 173 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:13,091 Tug: Hold on, hold on. 174 00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:16,628 Victoria: Oh. 175 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,029 Tug: That would work. 176 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,664 Yeah, okay. Okay, I see that. 177 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,567 Victoria: Okay, great. Okay, wonderful. 178 00:08:28,741 --> 00:08:30,542 -Tug: Yeah. Yeah. -Victoria: Looks like fun. 179 00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,810 Okay, so you like the furniture. 180 00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,245 -Tug: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Victoria: Okay. 181 00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,981 Being a broker is like being a fisherman. 182 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:38,617 You never know what you're gonna pull from the net. 183 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,253 Tug: Are dogs allowed in here? 'Cause I left my dog outside. 184 00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:43,555 Victoria: Oh, oh, please. I have two dogs myself. 185 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,257 -Tug: Are you sure? -Victoria: Yes, grab your dog. 186 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:47,025 Tug: I'll be right back. 187 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,927 Victoria: Ooh, I love dogs. 188 00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,097 Tug: Come here, Mopsy. Here we go. Come on, boy! 189 00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,000 Here you go. We're gonna meet Victoria. 190 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:57,035 Victoria, this is Mopsy. 191 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,738 Oh, he likes you. 192 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,806 -Victoria: Does he? -Tug: Yeah. 193 00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,308 I hope the neighbors are okay with this. 194 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,043 I don't want to be one of those neighbors 195 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,945 with a loud, barking dog, you know. 196 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,780 I hate these people. -Victoria: Oh, hey, I'm -- 197 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,215 I think it will be okay. 198 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,717 Tug: Mopsy, calm down! You know what? 199 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,853 I think Mopsy would feel a little bit more comfortable 200 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,321 if maybe he could smell you. 201 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,923 Is that all right? -Victoria: Uh-huh. 202 00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,892 Tug: 'Cause, you know, Mopsy is very nervous. 203 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,894 Victoria: Oh, okay. 204 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:23,962 Tug: [ Sniffing ] 205 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,665 Victoria: Okay. Well... 206 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,733 I hate it when a guy rubs a dead dog on me. 207 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:30,035 Do you smell it? 208 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,636 -Tug: Yeah. -Victoria: Did you get it? 209 00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,071 Tug: You have a dog at your place? 210 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,007 Victoria: I have two -- two very lively dogs. 211 00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,609 Tug: Probably smells the dog on you. 212 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:39,144 Victoria: Okay. Tug: Oh, you know what? 213 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,646 It's time for Mopsy's medicine. Sorry, hold on a second. 214 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:42,948 -Victoria: Uh-huh. -Tug: Just take a second. 215 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,316 -Victoria: Sure. -Tug: Here we go. 216 00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,851 It's okay, Mopsy. -Victoria: Hang in there, Mopsy. 217 00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:49,220 Tug: Uh, okay. Okay, ready? 218 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,289 Okay. Mmm. Okay. Good -- good boy. 219 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,959 You'll be better in a second. Ah. 220 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,361 Victoria: Exactly what medicine is that for? 221 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:57,629 Tug: Antipsychotics. 222 00:09:57,631 --> 00:09:58,797 -Victoria: Oh. -Tug: Mmm. 223 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,298 Victoria: Well, that makes sense. 224 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,667 Tug: What? Mop-- no! No, Mopsy, no! 225 00:10:02,669 --> 00:10:04,603 Yeah! You know what it is? 226 00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,272 Mopsy just has to know who the alpha is around here! 227 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,307 Mopsy! Victoria: Oh, my God! 228 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,375 Oh, my God. 229 00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,077 Tug: You have to listen! 230 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,979 I'm the alpha dog! 231 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,947 You don't tell me what to do! 232 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,949 I tell you what to do! 233 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:20,986 You have to listen! 234 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,088 Very willful creature. 235 00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,096 Baxter: Kara, Kara. 236 00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:33,398 You know my buddy, Andrew? 237 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,067 Andrew: We are the masters of getting each other laid at work. 238 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,270 Baxter: Yes. We shit where we eat. 239 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:43,208 I don't want to be too forward, but I heard... 240 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,244 that he likes your butt. 241 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:49,748 But doesn't love your front. 242 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,383 Andrew: Baxter? Baxter: Hmm? 243 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,656 He has a -- He has a nail issue. 244 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,057 Kara: Hmm. 245 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,259 Baxter: He doesn't know I'm over here right now. 246 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:03,428 Andrew: I totally knew! What an idiot she is. 247 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,664 Baxter: She's so dumb. She likes you, bro. 248 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,832 Andrew: She could be the one. 249 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:11,202 Listen, do you -- Are you, uh... 250 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,271 You're not gay, right? 251 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,908 But I think deep down inside, we're all like, 252 00:11:16,910 --> 00:11:21,179 "Hey, I don't play baseball the full year round, 253 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,182 but I'll swing the bat in the spring -- 254 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,152 or at least watch a game until completion." 255 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:30,889 So why don't...you take a gander 256 00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:34,025 over my shoulder at that guy. 257 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,927 That's my buddy, Baxter. 258 00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,463 He plays baseball full year, 259 00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,933 and...he wanted me to come to you 260 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,868 and say are you interested 261 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,905 in spending some time in the dugout. 262 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,173 Baxter: Did you say "dugout"? 263 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,774 Andrew: Yeah. He didn't get it. 264 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:52,811 Uh, he wants you to know these things about him. 265 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,112 He's clean. 266 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,314 So if you're interested, all you have to do 267 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,016 is say this to me. "Um, yes." 268 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,451 Baxter: Did you tell him I'm clean? 269 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,820 Andrew: Yeah. He didn't get it. 270 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,022 Uh... 271 00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,390 And if you like dirty, 272 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,760 he can dirty himself up pretty good, 273 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,729 pretty hard, pretty fast. 274 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,996 Don't give me an answer now. 275 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:13,865 Baxter: Did you tell him I can be dirty? 276 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,801 Andrew: Yeah. He didn't get it. 277 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,903 Do you like to do drugs? 278 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:27,345 Amir: I told Dean that if he doesn't make me partner, 279 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,347 I'm gonna tell everyone that Glenn is his son. 280 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,015 I hope my gamble pays off. 281 00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:33,985 -Victoria: Hey. -Amir: Hey. 282 00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,187 Victoria: Where were you just now? Were you with Dean? 283 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,456 I know this walking cologne sample's up to something. 284 00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:39,991 Amir: Yeah, I was with Dean. 285 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,326 Victoria: What did you guys talk about? 286 00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:43,161 Amir: He entrusted me with a secret. 287 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,063 -Victoria: You have a secret? -Amir: Yeah. 288 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:47,499 Victoria: You have a secret? Well, guess what. 289 00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,234 I have a secret. 290 00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,102 Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 291 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,871 -Amir: Oh, really? -Victoria: Yeah. 292 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,105 I got a good one. 293 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,841 My secret is so crazy... 294 00:12:56,843 --> 00:12:59,144 that, honestly, you might die just hearing it. 295 00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,879 Amir: I don't think I want to know that secret. 296 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,413 Victoria: Well, like -- I mean, that's... 297 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,115 It's an exaggeration. -Amir: Keep that to yourself. 298 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,483 Victoria: You're not gonna die, 299 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:06,885 but I'm just saying that's how big it is. 300 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:08,353 Amir: If Victoria knows about Glenn, 301 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,522 it could get in the way of me blackmailing Dean. 302 00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:12,056 I gotta find out what her secret is. 303 00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,258 So on the count of 3, 304 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,826 tell me what your secret is. 1, 2, 3. 305 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,361 Victoria: We're gonna tell each other? 306 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,996 Well, we didn't plan. That was too fast. 307 00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,497 Amir: You tell me on the count of 3 -- 1, 2, 3. 308 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,366 Victoria: No, we tell each other on the count of 3. 309 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,901 And don't count so fast. 310 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,435 There's supposed to be spaces in between. 311 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,437 Real seconds don't go 1, 2, 3. -Amir: Okay, fine. 312 00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,239 Victoria: All right. I'll do the counting. 313 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,808 Amir: Okay. Victoria: 1... 314 00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,343 2...3. It's a secret. 315 00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:33,845 Why didn't you say anything? 316 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,246 Amir: I was about to start talking, 317 00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,915 but you just said, "1, 2, 3. It's a secret." 318 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,449 You could have told me that before the countdown. 319 00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,051 I know it's a secret! I have a secret, too! 320 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:41,586 What the hell is your fucking secret? 321 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,354 Victoria: I'm not gonna tell you my secret 322 00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:46,291 unless you tell me your secret. Hey, buddy. [ Chuckles ] 323 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:49,093 Tell me what you know. 324 00:13:49,095 --> 00:13:50,495 Amir: What I know... 325 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:53,398 is that if you knew what I know, 326 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,234 you wouldn't even be asking me what this secret was. 327 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,269 Victoria: Well, you don't know that. 328 00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:00,572 Amir: Why would you ask me if you already know what the secret is? 329 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:03,041 Victoria: Because I might want to know if your -- 330 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,510 I want to know if you know the same thing that I know, 331 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,478 because if you don't know the same thing I know, 332 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,113 I can't tell you. 333 00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:10,949 But if you do know the same thing that I know, 334 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,151 we have to know together! -Amir: It's a different secret. 335 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,953 -Victoria: No? -Amir: Yeah, no. 336 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,021 Definitely not the same secret. -Victoria: Are you su-- 337 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,457 -Amir: No. -Victoria: I feel like... 338 00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,259 Both: "He/She" obviously has no idea 339 00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,994 that Glenn is Dean's son. 340 00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,100 Chelsea: Carla? 341 00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,869 I'm back at the raccoon house, 342 00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:33,638 and I'm really hoping Carla has some good news for me. 343 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,077 Hi, Carla. 344 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,318 Carla: What's the passcode? 345 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,621 Chelsea: Uh...raccoon. 346 00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:51,256 Carla: All right. 347 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,626 Okay. It's going really well. 348 00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,461 They did not see me come. 349 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,330 I said I was just gonna go, you know, let off some steam. 350 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,565 Chelsea: You told them. 351 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,200 Carla: It's the raccoon lingo for pee. 352 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:03,434 Chelsea: Great. 353 00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,036 Carla: I got in really good with Gumbo. 354 00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,938 He's Whitey's consigliere. 355 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:09,073 Chelsea: I'm sorry, are you sleeping in the house? 356 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,675 Carla: Not here. I'm staying in the -- 357 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,244 in the burrow with Marty. Chelsea: Who's Marty? 358 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,679 Carla: Marty, he's my raccoon partner. 359 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,414 -Chelsea: You... -Carla: We're not married yet. 360 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,615 Chelsea: What? 361 00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,350 Carla: You have to consummate it. 362 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:21,552 Tonight is the night. We've made promises to each other. 363 00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,422 And once I'm in, or he's in... -Chelsea: Unh-unh. 364 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,324 -Carla: ...I'm in. Chelsea: Why? 365 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,526 Carla: 'Cause then I'll get him to trust me and then we'll... 366 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,528 be able to convince Whitey we need to get out of here. 367 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,430 -Chelsea: No, no, no. -Carla: Yeah, we need to move. 368 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,032 Chelsea: You don't have to fuck a raccoon. 369 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,199 Carla: How else am I gonna get them 370 00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:36,434 to trust that I'm not a human? 371 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,269 'Cause only raccoons fuck raccoons. 372 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,338 Does that make sense? -Chelsea: I don't want it to. 373 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,473 Carla: Okay. Can I have something shiny to take back? 374 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,108 Chelsea: Something shiny? 375 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,044 Carla: Do you have something on you I can take back 376 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,545 so that they know that I bring treasures? 377 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,514 Chelsea: You can have my belt. It's got a buckle. 378 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,715 Carla: Ooh, shiny. 379 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,216 Chelsea: It's a little bit of shiny. 380 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,618 Carla: Shiny, shiny, yes. 381 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:56,587 Chelsea: Hey, how do I reach you? 382 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,423 Carla: Hmm? Chelsea: How do I reach you? 383 00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:00,591 Carla: You don't. [ Chatters ] 384 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,335 Amir: I couldn't sleep last night. 385 00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:11,736 Okay, I'm having second thoughts. 386 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,105 What the hell am I doing, threatening Dean? 387 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:15,606 Baxter: You heard about his gardener? 388 00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:17,141 Andrew: Yes. 389 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,077 Baxter: Yeah, crazy. Andrew: It's crazy. 390 00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,980 But that's what you get. You don't mess with Rosedragon. 391 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:24,248 Baxter: No, no. Andrew: Dean's crazy. 392 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:27,185 Baxter: Just because he messed up his shrubbery. 393 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,087 Andrew: Yeah. And Dean didn't fire him, 394 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,722 didn't do anything -- just stared at him. 395 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:32,323 Heart attack. Baxter: And he -- 396 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,092 he had a clean bill of health, right? 397 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,393 Andrew: Clean bill. 398 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,195 Amir: What are you guys talking about? 399 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,230 Andrew: What are you talking about? Why don't you mind -- 400 00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,732 Baxter: Talking about Dean. How crazy he is. 401 00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:42,533 Amir: He stared at someone, and he died? 402 00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,268 Baxter: He stared at him, and he died. 403 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,137 Amir: Ideally, I would have had this information 404 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:48,106 before I threatened him, right?! 405 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,508 Baxter: You heard what he did to his karate instructor, right? 406 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,043 Andrew: Oh, my God. That's crazy. 407 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,444 But, I mean, again, you mess with -- 408 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,346 Amir: What did he do to his karate instructor? 409 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,248 Andrew: He goes in. Sensei calls him out, 410 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,550 and says, "Your belt isn't tied right." 411 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,020 Not a huge deal, right? Amir: No. 412 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,455 Andrew: To anybody but Dean Rosedragon. 413 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,625 Baxter: He took him outside, stared at him until he died. 414 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,527 Amir: This was a long time ago, right? 415 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,230 -Andrew: This was this morning. -Amir: This was this morning. 416 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,765 Dean killed someone this morning. 417 00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,800 Oh, my God! Amir, you idiot! 418 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,702 He's gonna kill you! 419 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:23,775 Chelsea: Thank you so much for coming. 420 00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,143 Kevin, is it? 421 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,411 -Kebbin: Kebbin. -Chelsea: Kebbin. 422 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,812 -Kebbin: Two B's. Chelsea: Got it. 423 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:30,181 Carla's plan of embedding herself with the raccoons 424 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:33,084 is not working, and I need to sell this house now. 425 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,253 So I had to call in Animal Control. 426 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,788 We've had a pretty bad infestation, 427 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:38,389 and I just really need them gone. 428 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,757 Kebbin: All right, no worries. 429 00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,360 We get these calls all the time. -Chelsea: There. 430 00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,164 Uh, be cautious, she's very wily. 431 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,232 Kebbin: All right. Let's do this. 432 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,568 Carla: [ Hisses ] 433 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,503 Kebbin: Okay. Hi. 434 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,672 [ Whistles quietly ] 435 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,577 -Chelsea: No, no. Carla, no! -Kebbin: Okay! 436 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,145 Chelsea: No, Carla! Carla, no! Okay. 437 00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:02,413 Kebbin: It's okay, this is normal. 438 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,282 -Chelsea: Okay. -Kebbin: All right. 439 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:07,318 Oh. Oh, it's okay, she... 440 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,554 Carla: [ Chattering ] 441 00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:10,855 Kebbin: [ Chattering ] 442 00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:11,756 Carla: [ Chattering ] 443 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,458 Kebbin: [ Chattering ] 444 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:18,463 Carla: [ Chattering ] 445 00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:21,566 -Kebbin: [ Chattering ] -Chelsea: What is? What is that? 446 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,167 Carla: [ Chattering ] 447 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:26,471 Chelsea: What's happening? Kebbin? 448 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,672 Carla: [ Chattering ] 449 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:29,740 Chelsea: You gotta be fucking kidding me! 450 00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:38,850 Dean: Well...Amir. 451 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,818 Amir: Honestly, I'm freaked the fuck out, 452 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,753 but I'm achieving that I'm not terrified. 453 00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,122 It isn't working! 454 00:18:44,124 --> 00:18:46,390 How's it going, Boss? 455 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,728 Dean: Let's cut the chitchat, Amir. 456 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,865 Amir: Okay, whatever. Yeah, sure. So, uh... 457 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,867 just curious if you've -- 458 00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:58,503 if you've made any type of decision yet. 459 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,572 Dean: Yes. I think I have. 460 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,241 Amir: Okay. 461 00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:05,510 Uh... 462 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:08,746 So am I -- So I'm partner? 463 00:19:08,748 --> 00:19:13,184 Dean: Amir, I am no stranger to blackmail. 464 00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,619 Many people have tried it. 465 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,221 And there are many ways it can be thwarted. 466 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:20,491 For instance, I could turn your bones to powder. 467 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:24,262 I could yell into your ear canal... 468 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:26,430 until your brain suffocates. 469 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,866 I could make you eat glass... 470 00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,636 but that wouldn't be fun. 471 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,738 Let's have some fun, Amir. 472 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,540 Here's what I'm going to do. 473 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,542 Amir: He's doing it! He's doing it! 474 00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,410 He's staring me dead! 475 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,946 Holy crap, he's gonna suck the life essence right out of me! 476 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,282 -Dean: Glenn? -Glenn: Yes, Dean. 477 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,917 -Dean: Have a seat, Glenn. -Glenn: Of course. 478 00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:48,853 Scusi, as the Italians say. 479 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:51,689 Dean: Glenn, as you know, I am an eccentric millionaire. 480 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,191 Glenn: Yes. 481 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:56,627 Dean: And it is my whim to pay you... 482 00:19:56,629 --> 00:20:00,531 a little bit extra every week for an additional job. 483 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:01,899 Glenn: Oh. 484 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,735 Dean: I would like you to pretend to be my son. 485 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,904 Tell everyone that I'm your father. 486 00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,606 If anyone asks, you say, 487 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,875 "Yes, Dean is my dad, and I am his son." 488 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,410 Glenn: Wow, wow! 489 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:13,945 This is a dream come true. -Amir: No, no. 490 00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:15,479 Dean: Does that sound like a fun job? 491 00:20:15,481 --> 00:20:16,981 Glenn: Yes, that sounds like a fun job. 492 00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,217 Amir: It is not a dream come true, it's the truth, 493 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,885 that Dean is your father. -Glenn: Yes, he is. 494 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,353 He is my father. -Amir: No, no. 495 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:23,754 Dean, he's, like, really your father. 496 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,489 Glenn: This is a good test right off the bat. 497 00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:26,857 Amir: No, this isn't a test. 498 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,626 Dean: You're doing smashing, Glenn. Very good. 499 00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,228 Amir: He was your dad before the game! 500 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:31,762 Glenn: Because the game retroactively 501 00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,898 always makes me Dean's son. -Dean: That's correct. 502 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,466 Glenn: I like logic puzzles like this. 503 00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,734 -Dean: Fun game, eh? -Glenn: Yeah. 504 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,002 Keep testing me, Amir. 505 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,670 Amir: In real life, he is your dad. 506 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,372 Glenn: I know. Look at him. 507 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,608 Look at the resemblance. Don't you see it? 508 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:46,244 Amir: No, actually I don't, but he's still your dad. 509 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,845 He was at your birth. 510 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,780 Glenn: Yeah, he was at my birth. 511 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,849 And now I know why. Because he's my father. 512 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:53,484 Dean: Why else would I be there? 513 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:55,786 Glenn: I don't know. Amir: Listen to me, Glenn. 514 00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,555 You're not an idiot, you're a smart guy. 515 00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:58,923 Glenn: Of course. Amir: You speak French. 516 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:01,892 Both: [ Conversing in French ] 517 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,630 Glenn: Amir... [ Speaking French ] 518 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,434 -Dean: [ Speaking French ] -Amir: He speaks French also! 519 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,703 Why do you think?! -Glenn: He speaks French? 520 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,539 Because it's the language of refined, civilized people. 521 00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:16,974 [ Speaking French ] 522 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,309 Dean: [ Speaking French ] 523 00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:21,512 Amir: [ Speaking French ] 524 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:24,749 At least I have my soul. Well, most of it. 525 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,788 Dean: Thanks for dropping by, Amir. 526 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,690 Amir: Fuck! 527 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:36,027 -Dean: Get out of my office. -Glenn: Good father-son time. 528 00:21:36,029 --> 00:21:37,662 I love you, Daddy. 529 00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,430 Dean: Just go. 530 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:44,030 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40430

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