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1
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??
2
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,148
AGGRESSIVELY IGNORING BAXTER,
AS USUAL.
3
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,516
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
I HEAR CHELSEA
4
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,752
START FIDGETING IN THE KITCHEN.
5
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:25,424
Chelsea: OH.
6
00:00:25,426 --> 00:00:27,359
UGH!
7
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,594
Baxter:
OH, OH, OH, OH, OH, OH!
8
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:30,362
THIS LOOKS LIKE
IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.
9
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:33,632
??
10
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,576
Chelsea: OH, OW!
11
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:53,519
[ LAUGHTER ]
12
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,124
Victoria:
OKAY, WHO AM I, WHO AM I?
13
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:01,160
"OH! OH!"
14
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:04,596
Baxter: "OW!"
15
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,265
Victoria: THAT WAS
THE FUNNIEST THING
16
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:09,268
I'VE EVER SEEN, AND I'VE SEEN
EVERY ADAM SANDLER FILM --
17
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,469
EVEN THE ONES ON NETFLIX.
18
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:11,570
Baxter: "AAH!"
19
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,773
[ LAUGHTER ]
20
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:18,077
??
21
00:01:31,157 --> 00:01:33,425
[ LAUGHTER ]
22
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,661
Baxter: IT'S...
23
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:38,230
WHO AM I, WHO AM I, WHO AM I?
"OH!"
24
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,666
Andrew: BAXTER
LAUGHING WITH VICTORIA?
25
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,801
BUT WE HATE VICTORIA.
26
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,638
DO I WANT THAT LAUGHTER
WITH HIM?
27
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,407
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
28
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:49,708
I'M NOT JEALOUS OF IT,
29
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,577
I JUST WANT TO BE
IN HER PLACE,
30
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,445
AND IT'S KILLING ME.
31
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,148
[ LAUGHTER ]
32
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,451
-Baxter: SHE'S SO STUPID.
-Andrew: WHAT DID SHE --
33
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,853
WHAT DID SHE DO?
34
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,521
-Baxter: YOU JUST MISSED IT.
-Andrew: WHAT DID SHE DO?
35
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,557
Baxter:
CHELSEA DID THE DUMBEST THING.
36
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,360
Chelsea: OW!
37
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,661
Victoria:
MOVE OVER, GRUMPY CAT,
38
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,164
'CAUSE HERE COMES THE CHELSEA.
39
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,600
OH. OH!
40
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:17,169
Baxter: "OH!"
41
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,871
Chelsea: OH!
42
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:22,708
[ LAUGHTER ]
43
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,543
Victoria:
THAT'S MY FAVORITE THING
44
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,245
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED.
45
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,514
Baxter: HER EARRING, IT'S...
46
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,449
Andrew: HER EARRING IS STUPID?
47
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,217
-Victoria: NO!
-Baxter: NO! NO!
48
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,652
-Victoria:
WE'RE TELLING THE STORY. -Baxter: IT GOT CAUGHT.
49
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,489
-Victoria: YEAH.
-Baxter: OH, OW!
50
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,758
Andrew: OH.
51
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,896
[ LAUGHTER STOPS ABRUPTLY ]
52
00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:46,231
-Victoria: HEY, CHELSEA.
-Andrew: HEY.
53
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,900
Chelsea: YEAH.
54
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:51,270
[ LAUGHTER ]
55
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,638
Victoria: THAT WAS HER!
56
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,574
Baxter: THAT WAS HER,
LIKE TWO MINUTES AFTER.
57
00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,845
Victoria: SORRY, ANDREW.
58
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,848
GUESS YOU CAN'T
SHARE EVERYTHING WITH BAXTER.
59
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:07,252
HEY, ANDREW,
CAN YOU GET ME SOME COFFEE?
60
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:08,554
Andrew: YEAH.
61
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:11,356
Victoria: MAKE SURE NOT TO "OW!"
62
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,358
-Baxter: YOU'RE REALLY GOOD.
-Victoria: THANK YOU.
63
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,626
IT'S UNCANNY.
64
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:17,863
??
65
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,534
Amir: I'M GONNA SHOW
A NEW CLIENT, MR. HOROWITZ,
66
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,269
A HOUSE
IN THE PACIFIC PALISADES.
67
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:25,804
THAT'S RIGHT, HOROWITZ.
68
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,539
YEAH, THIS GUY'S GOT MONEY.
69
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:29,541
WHAT, I CAN SAY THAT --
I'M JEWISH.
70
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,244
MY FAVORITE PART
OF THE HOUSE, THE VIEW.
71
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,345
CHECK THAT OUT.
72
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:40,953
I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR,
73
00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:43,388
-MR. HOROWITZ.
-Horowitz: YES, DR. HOROWITZ.
74
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,790
Amir: DR. HOROWITZ.
RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
75
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,959
Horowitz:
I'M A DENTIST FROM RESEDA.
76
00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:48,727
-Amir: YOU'RE A DENTIST?
-Horowitz: YES.
77
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,729
Jota: AND I'M THE HYGIENIST.
78
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,297
Amir: OH, OKAY.
79
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,899
I WANT TO PUT YOU
IN THIS HOUSE TODAY.
80
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:57,803
SO YOU TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DO
TO GET THIS DEAL DONE.
81
00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,972
Horowitz: WELL, WE JUST HAVE
TO LOOK OVER A FEW THINGS.
82
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,440
-Amir: YEAH.
-Horowitz: AND --
83
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:03,976
Jota: [ SPEAKS SPANISH ]
84
00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:07,813
Horowitz:
YES, DO YOU HAVE TUNNEL SPACE?
85
00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:09,481
LET ME MAKE SOME TUNNELS?
86
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,416
Amir: LIKE, YOU WANT TO DO
LIKE A WINE CELLAR TYPE THING?
87
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,585
Horowitz: I'D LIKE TO GO
FROM MY HOT TUB TO THE CAR
88
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,721
WITHOUT GOING THROUGH THE HOUSE.
89
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,723
Amir: THERE'S
A TOTALLY FINISHED BASEMENT,
90
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,791
THERE'S LIKE A WINE CELLAR AREA.
91
00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,860
-Jota: S�.
-Horowitz: SPEAKING OF WINES,
92
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:25,831
IS THIS TILE GOOD
TO WASH RED -- BLOOD WINE.
93
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,999
Jota:
WE SPILL LOTS OF WINES, SO...
94
00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,900
Amir:
OH, YOU SPILL LOTS OF WINE?
95
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,869
WELL, GRANITE IS ACTUALLY KNOWN
FOR NOT BEING POROUS AT ALL,
96
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,504
SO IT'S REALLY EASY TO CLEAN.
97
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,873
NO ONE'S GONNA KNOW THAT
ANY WINE WAS SPILLED, TRUST ME.
98
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,375
-Jota: OKAY.
-Horowitz: VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.
99
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,610
Amir: YEAH,
CAN I ASK A PERSONAL QUESTION?
100
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,879
WHAT'S WITH THE GUNS?
YOU GUYS ARE...
101
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:44,516
Horowitz: OH, YEAH. UH,
MY OFFICE IS NEXT TO PLANNED PARENTHOOD.
102
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,817
Amir: OH.
103
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,452
Horowitz: AND SO WE
HAVE TO HAVE PROTECTIONS.
104
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,288
Amir: I GET IT. IT'S TOUGH TIMES
TO BE A DENTIST.
105
00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:51,890
TIME TO DRILL THIS DEAL HOME.
GET IT?
106
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,760
DRILL -- THAT WAS A DENTAL PUN.
107
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,728
SO, LISTEN, $10 MILLION HOUSE.
108
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,563
IN THIS MARKET,
THAT'S A GREAT RATE.
109
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,399
ALL YOU GOT TO DO
IS PUT 20% DOWN.
110
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,502
-I GOT A GREAT GUY.
-Horowitz: SO $200,000?
111
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:07,339
-Amir: IT'S ACTUALLY $2 MILLION.
-Jota: MUCHACHOS!
112
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,342
-Horowitz: iVAMOS, VAMOS!
-Amir: WOW.
113
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,077
OKAY,
ARE THESE GUYS ALSO DENTISTS?
114
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,812
Jota: THEY ARE SOME HYGIENISTS.
115
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,881
Horowitz: THESE GUYS
WORK IN THE OFFICE WITH ME.
116
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,449
-SO HERE'S THE MONEY.
-Jota: OH!
117
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,851
-Horowitz: OH, EXCUSE THAT.
-Jota: OOPS!
118
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,386
-OUR TOOLS.
-Horowitz: THAT'S TOOLS.
119
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,555
THAT'S PART OF THE...
TO GET THE WHITENING.
120
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:26,525
-Amir: THAT WAS AN UZI.
-Horowitz: $2 MILLION?
121
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,927
-Jota: $2 MILLIONS.
-Horowitz: TAKE THE CASES.
122
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,863
Amir: ALL RIGHT!
123
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:35,400
JUST LOOKING AT THOSE CASES
MAKES MY NIPPLES HARD.
124
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:38,070
Amir: UH, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO GIVE IT TO THE BANK.
125
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,706
BUT, YEAH, I CAN --
I CAN DO THIS.
126
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:41,973
Horowitz: HERE YOU GO.
PUT THIS IN THERE.
127
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,642
-Amir: IS THAT LIKE A GIFT OR...
-Horowitz: WELL,
128
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,878
YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT
TO TAKE CARE OF THIS MONEY.
129
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,348
Amir: THAT'S HOT.
130
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,882
WHY IS THIS SO HOT?
131
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,417
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET INSIDE.
132
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,553
YOU GUYS PRACTICE
IN THE VALLEY OR...
133
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,088
Horowitz: IS THIS COCA LEAVES?
134
00:05:56,090 --> 00:05:57,556
Amir: NO, IT'S --
IT'S A PALM TREE.
135
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,724
Horowitz: IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
136
00:05:58,726 --> 00:05:59,891
Amir: I'M REALLY
STARTING TO WONDER
137
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,793
IF THIS GUY'S EVEN JEWISH.
138
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,467
??
139
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,004
Chelsea: DEAN SHOULD MAKE ME
PARTNER BECAUSE I'M RESOURCEFUL.
140
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:14,706
I FOUND MY NEW CLIENT, ART,
141
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,042
ON A DIVORCED MEN'S
REDDIT THREAD.
142
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,448
NOT BAD FOR $11 MILLION, RIGHT?
143
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,851
-Art: WOW, THIS IS FANTASTIC!
-Chelsea: YEAH.
144
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,853
Art: THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT I WAS THINKING.
145
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,454
Chelsea:
ART'S WIFE OF 20 YEARS JUST
146
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,123
LEFT HIM LAST WEEK,
SO HE'S LOOKING FOR A NEW HOME.
147
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:36,828
POOR ART. POOR SAD,
WEALTHY, IMPULSIVE ART.
148
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,064
-Art: NEW HORIZONS!
-Chelsea: YES, INDEED.
149
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,732
-Art: NEW VISTAS.
-Chelsea: UH-HUH.
150
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,568
Art: HEY, L.A.,
I'M READY TO MINGLE!
151
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,870
Chelsea: THERE YOU GO!
152
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,472
Art:
I'M GLAD WE COULDN'T HAVE KIDS.
153
00:06:47,474 --> 00:06:50,976
NOW THAT I'M HERE,
I'M GLAD ABOUT THAT.
154
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,844
Chelsea: WE'VE GOT
THIS CUSTOM GARAGE DOOR.
155
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,045
Art: THAT IS REALLY NICE.
156
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,714
I MEAN, IT'S A LOT BETTER
THAN SLEEPING
157
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,916
IN THE GARAGE, WHICH I'VE DONE.
158
00:06:57,918 --> 00:07:00,452
BUT THIS IS -- THIS IS NICE.
159
00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:02,954
IT'S SLEEK, IT'S MODERN.
160
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,490
I MEAN, THERE'S ALL KINDS OF...
161
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,058
PLACES TO GET NASTY ON.
162
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,161
Chelsea: YOU CAN HAVE A SEAT.
YOU CAN TRY OUT SOME OF THESE...
163
00:07:09,163 --> 00:07:10,629
-Art: SURE.
-Chelsea: ...NASTY SPOTS.
164
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:11,997
Art: LET ME GIVE THIS A TRY.
165
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,632
AH, YEAH! THIS IS NICE.
166
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,066
Chelsea: LET ME TAKE
A PICTURE OF THIS, MAN.
167
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,135
Art: OKAY. OH, DO, YEAH,
THAT WILL BE GREAT!
168
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,603
-BYE, DEBBIE.
-Chelsea: ONE, TWO, THREE.
169
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,539
-Art: BYE, DEBBIE.
-Chelsea: THERE WE GO.
170
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,474
Art: BYE, DEBBIE.
171
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,646
-Chelsea: ARE YOU CRYING?
-Art: NO, NO, NO!
172
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,080
Chelsea: LOOK AT THIS SKYLIGHT.
173
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:31,082
EVERY DAY,
THE DAWN WILL GREET YOU.
174
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,819
Art: YEAH.
DEBBIE WOULD HATE THAT.
175
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:37,088
SHE LIKES TO SLEEP IN A TOMB.
176
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,924
Chelsea:
SHE SOUNDS LIKE A CORPSE.
177
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:42,093
Art: HA.
NO, SHE'S A VERY LIVELY PERSON.
178
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,161
IT'S...
179
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,931
IT'S OUR MARRIAGE THAT'S DEAD.
180
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,101
[ CRYING ]
181
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,240
Chelsea: HEY.
182
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:58,743
Art:
LET'S CHECK OUT THE SHITTER.
183
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,479
NICE THAT YOU TOUCHED ME.
184
00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:03,582
??
185
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,187
Glenn: DEAN GAVE ME AN ORDER
TO SPY ON THE BROKERS,
186
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,791
AND I'VE BEEN DOING MY BEST
TO COMPLETE HIS MISSION.
187
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,827
Dean: GLENN, I NEED YOU TO BE
188
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:19,698
MY EYES AND EARS AMONG THEM.
189
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:24,936
Glenn:
DEAN, THE BROKERS IN THE OFFICE
190
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,038
HAVE BEEN TREATING ME
PRETTY POORLY LATELY.
191
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,106
-Dean: IS THAT SO?
-Glenn: YEAH.
192
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,274
Dean: GIVE ME THREE EXAMPLES.
193
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:31,276
Glenn:
VICTORIA GRABBED MY SCROTUM
194
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,044
AND SHOVED ME AGAINST THE WALL.
195
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:36,147
Dean: YOU NEVER SAID,
"I'M TOO FAR FROM THE WALL.
196
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,716
GET ME THERE AS QUICKLY
AS POSSIBLE"?
197
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:38,984
Glenn: NO.
198
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,519
Dean: NO WORDS THAT COULD
BE INTERPRETED THAT WAY?
199
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,654
-Glenn: NO, I --
-Dean: EXAMPLE NUMBER TWO.
200
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,523
Glenn: VICTORIA CALLED ME BEN,
201
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,691
AND THEN SHE GRABBED MY SCROTUM
AND SHOVED ME AGAINST THE WALL.
202
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,827
Dean: NOW, THIS IS THE SECOND
TIME INVOLVING VICTORIA?
203
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,028
Glenn: YES.
204
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,730
Dean: SECOND TIME
INVOLVING A SCROTAL GRAB.
205
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,632
Glenn: WELL, THOSE ARE THE ONES
THAT POP INTO MY HEAD
206
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,200
-IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE --
-Dean: IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.
207
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,002
Glenn: YEAH,
IT'S A VISCERAL EXPERIENCE.
208
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,270
-Dean: THIRD EXAMPLE?
-Glenn: IF I COULD
209
00:08:58,272 --> 00:08:59,871
CLUMP THEM ALL TOGETHER
AT SOME POINT,
210
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,206
EVERYONE HAS CALLED ME
A DIRTY NAME
211
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,774
OR ROLLED THEIR EYES
EXTREMELY AT ME.
212
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,175
Dean: GIVE ME FOUR EXAMPLES
OF DIRTY NAMES.
213
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,611
Glenn: PISS-BOMB, SLOP-EATER,
214
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,980
LITTLE PIG BOY,
ASS-TO-MOUTH PRINCE.
215
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,182
Dean: THERE IS THE SUGGESTION
OF NOBILITY.
216
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,885
THEY'RE NOT CALLING YOU
ASS-TO-MOUTH PAUPER.
217
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,020
Glenn: THEY DON'T RESPECT ME.
218
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,821
AND I WANT TO LET THEM KNOW
219
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,024
THAT I HAVE A CERTAIN POWER
OVER THEM, BUT I CANNOT.
220
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:23,562
Dean: GLENN,
YOUR MISSION IS VERY CLEAR.
221
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,163
WHAT YOU WANT IS TO GET TO
THE POINT WHERE THEY'RE SAYING
222
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,932
TO YOUR FACE,
"YOU'RE A SPINELESS COWARD
223
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,166
AND WE CAN SAY
WHATEVER WE WANT TO YOU."
224
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,801
Glenn: WELL, THEY SAY, YOU KNOW,
225
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:31,069
"GLENN, WHEN YOUR LUNCH BREAK
226
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,571
IS COMING UP,
YOU SHOULD GO TO THE POTTY
227
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,939
BECAUSE
THAT'S WHERE YOUR LUNCH IS.
228
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:35,206
WE'VE LEFT YOUR LUNCH
IN THE POTTY."
229
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,275
Dean:
IS POTTY SLANG FOR BATHROOM?
230
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,777
Glenn: YES, IT'S A TOILET.
231
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,211
-Dean: TOILET.
-Glenn: THAT'S THEIR THING,
232
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:41,846
IS THAT I EAT
AND DRINK OUT OF THE TOILET.
233
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,049
Dean: YOU UNDERSTAND,
I HAVE TO ASK YOU, IS THAT TRUE?
234
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,584
Glenn: NO, I'VE NEVER EATEN
OUT OF THE TOILET.
235
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,052
Dean: ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
236
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,020
Glenn: ONE TIME,
I WASHED MY HANDS IN THE TOILET
237
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,022
BECAUSE THE WATER
WAS BROKEN IN MY APARTMENT.
238
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,924
Dean: WELL, NEEDS
MUST AS THE DEVIL DRIVES.
239
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,326
I'VE PUT MY HANDS
IN WORSE PLACES.
240
00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,061
-Glenn: SUCH AS?
-Dean: I'VE HAD MY HANDS
241
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,729
INSIDE A HUMAN BODY.
242
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,664
-VERY UNPLEASANT THING.
-Glenn: IT WASN'T FOR PLEASURE?
243
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:01,199
Dean: THERE WERE
PLEASURABLE ASPECTS TO IT,
244
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,834
BUT IT WASN'T MY MOTIVATION.
245
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:05,937
MY MOTIVATION WAS TO KEEP
A MAN ALIVE, AND I FAILED.
246
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,238
Glenn: I'M SO SORRY, DEAN.
247
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,940
Dean: NO, DON'T BE.
I ABSORBED HIS SPIRIT.
248
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,243
NOW, THESE HIDEOUS THINGS
THEY SAY TO YOU,
249
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,213
AS HORRIBLE OR ACCURATE
250
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,248
AS THEY MAY BE, YOU USE IT,
251
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,085
AND YOU SAY, "OH, YOU CALL ME
ASS-TO-MOUTH PRINCE,
252
00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:22,988
I WILL KEEP A SPECIAL EYE
ON YOU FOR DEAN."
253
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:26,625
FEEL ALL OF THE HATRED THAT
THEY ARE DIRECTING YOUR WAY.
254
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,960
-FEEL IT IN YOUR SOUL.
-Glenn: I DO. IT HURTS A LOT.
255
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,128
Dean: PERFECT.
256
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,930
-YOU BE THAT SLOP-EATER.
-Glenn: YES.
257
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,298
Dean: YOU BE
THAT LITTLE PIGGY BOY.
258
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,799
-Glenn: I'M A PIGGY BOY.
-Dean: YOU'RE A POTTY EATER.
259
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,301
Glenn: I'M YOUR LITTLE
SECRET POTTY EATER.
260
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,069
Dean: YOU ARE THE POTTY EATER.
261
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,738
Glenn: OKAY,
I CAN DO THIS FOR YOU, DEAN.
262
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,272
I'M GOING TO
BRING MY MEALS FROM HOME,
263
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,074
AND I WILL PUT THEM
IN THE POTTY, AND I'LL EAT THEM.
264
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,342
Dean: BUT I DON'T THINK
IT WOULD BE GOOD
265
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,011
FOR THE REST OF THE OFFICE
TO SEE YOU
266
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,712
LITERALLY
EATING OUT OF THE TOILET.
267
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:49,247
Glenn: I'LL CLOSE THE STALL.
THEY WON'T HAVE TO SEE IT.
268
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,849
Dean:
WILL YOU MAKE EATING SOUNDS?
269
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,250
-Glenn: IT COULD BE RAMEN.
-Dean: RAMEN, I THINK,
270
00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,985
MIGHT BE THE WORST CHOICE
YOU COULD MAKE.
271
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,221
Glenn: I GET A BUTANE TORCH, AND
I'LL HEAT UP THE POTTY RAMEN.
272
00:10:56,223 --> 00:10:57,856
Dean: GLENN, I'M GOING TO
ASK YOU NOT TO EAT
273
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,257
OUT OF THE TOILET.
274
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:01,693
Glenn: I WASN'T REALLY GOING
TO EAT OUT OF THE TOILET.
275
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,767
??
276
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,871
Andrew: SO, WE GOT AN ANGRY CALL
FROM A CLIENT,
277
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,139
AND VICTORIA IS TO BLAME.
278
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,907
Baxter:
YEAH, WELL, VICTORIA FUCKED US!
279
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:19,377
Andrew: YEAH, SHE FUCKED US, BUT
NOT IN A GOOD WAY, OVER A DEAL.
280
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,413
-Baxter: WE ASK ONE THING.
-Andrew: ONE THING.
281
00:11:21,415 --> 00:11:23,314
Baxter: AND SHE BUILDS CONDOS
ON THE LOT.
282
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,116
Andrew:
YOU CAN'T LIE TO US LIKE THAT.
283
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,419
Baxter: KIM SAID
SHE WANTED THE HOUSE INTACT.
284
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:30,021
Andrew: THE FAMILY
SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED IT.
285
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,222
IT WAS PART OF THE SALE.
286
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,390
Baxter:
NOW WE LOOK LIKE ASSHOLES.
287
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,693
Andrew: THIS IS HUGE FALLOUT.
288
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,428
-Baxter: LET'S TALK TO HER.
-Victoria: IT'S JUST CONDOS.
289
00:11:36,430 --> 00:11:38,229
-GET OVER IT!
-Baxter: OH, MY GOSH!
290
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,297
Andrew:
OH, MY GOD. JUST CONDOS?!
291
00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,832
WE AGREED IT WOULDN'T BE.
292
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,468
Baxter: WE HAD LUNCH.
YOU SIGNED AN AGREEMENT
293
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,070
THAT NOTHING WOULD BE
BUILT ON THAT LOT.
294
00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,337
Victoria: THAT DOESN'T COUNT.
295
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,106
Andrew: IT COUNTS.
IT'LL COUNT IN COURT.
296
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,741
Victoria:
OH, I'M SO THREATENED. COME ON.
297
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,342
Baxter: WHAT DO YOU
THINK AGREEMENTS ARE?
298
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,445
Victoria: IT'S JUST CONDOS.
TELL HER TO GET OVER IT.
299
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,146
Baxter:
SHE CALLED US, CRYING, OKAY?
300
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,448
SHE'S NOT GETTING OVER IT,
ALL RIGHT?
301
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,783
Victoria: WHEN SHE WAS CRYING,
302
00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:00,452
DID IT SOUND LIKE THIS...
303
00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:02,120
[ CRYING ]
304
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:06,725
Chelsea: OW.
305
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,928
[ LAUGHTER ]
306
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,930
Baxter: YOU DID NOT!
307
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:17,235
IT'S STILL SO FUNNY.
308
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,404
-YEAH, IT SOUNDED LIKE...
-Victoria: IT SOUNDED LIKE THAT?
309
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,905
Baxter:
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?"
310
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:23,108
AND I PULLED OFF HER MASK,
IT WAS CHELSEA.
311
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:26,044
-Victoria: IT WAS.
-Andrew: LET'S GO.
312
00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,946
COME ON, BAXTER.
313
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,081
IT'S STILL NOT FUNNY.
314
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,450
FOCUS, BAXTER. BAXTER!
315
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:36,221
CONDOS.
316
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:37,355
-Baxter: OH, MY GOSH!
-Andrew: GAME'S OVER.
317
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:39,124
Baxter: THAT'S FUNNY. "OW!"
318
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,258
I'M CHELSEA.
319
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,793
Victoria:
DO YOU WANT A SNICKERS?
320
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,328
-Andrew: SURE.
-Baxter: DO YOU HAVE SNICKERS?
321
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,396
-Victoria: YEAH, COME IN.
-Baxter: OH, MY GOSH, YES.
322
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,532
Andrew: LIKE, BAX, WE DON'T HAVE
TIME FOR THIS RIGHT NOW.
323
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:50,268
Baxter: OH, MY GOSH.
THAT IS SO...
324
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,870
-Victoria: RIGHT?
-Baxter: ...SO FUNNY.
325
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,471
Victoria: THAT HAD TO BE
THE WORST MOMENT OF HER LIFE.
326
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,973
Baxter:
I KNOW, SHE'S HUMILIATED.
327
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,174
Andrew: CALL BAXTER.
328
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,810
Baxter: HOLD ON. Hello?
329
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,512
-Andrew: BAXY PADS.
-BAXTER: What's up, dude?
330
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:02,247
Andrew: UM, CAN YOU LET ME IN?
331
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,982
VICTORIA: Hey, Baxter, Baxter.
332
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,116
-Oh!
-BAXTER: Oh!
333
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,318
[ Laughter ]
334
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,188
OH, THAT WAS GOOD.
THAT WAS, "OW!"
335
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:12,357
Victoria: IT'S LIKE, EVERY TIME.
336
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:17,195
??
337
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,533
Chelsea: SO, ART, WE'VE GOT
A LOT OF INDUSTRIAL ELEMENTS
338
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,868
TO HELP YOU REALLY
TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE.
339
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:26,137
Chelsea:
IN A FORCEFUL WAY, RIGHT?
340
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,872
I AM THIS CLOSE
TO MAKING THE SALE.
341
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:29,274
IF ART CAN JUST SUCK IT UP
342
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,844
AND BE A MAN LONG ENOUGH
TO SIGN THE PAPERWORK.
343
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,547
-LOOK AT THIS EXPANSIVE CEILING.
-Art: OH!
344
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,148
Chelsea:
HOW DO YOU FEEL IN HERE?
345
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,150
Art: I FEEL LIKE THE SKY'S
THE LIMIT. I REALLY DO.
346
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,385
Chelsea: YEAH. THAT'S IT.
347
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:42,153
-Art: OH, THESE ARE NICE.
-Chelsea: YEAH.
348
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,455
Art: ARE THEY LIKE SOME KIND
OF SEX CHAIR THING, 'CAUSE,
349
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,925
I MEAN, THIS PLACE
REALLY SEEMS LIKE A FUCK PAD.
350
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,459
Chelsea: THEY COULD BE
ANYTHING YOU WANT, MAN.
351
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,295
Art: ARE THERE INSTRUCTIONS
THAT THEY COME WITH?
352
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:51,930
-Chelsea: NO, I --
-Art: 'CAUSE I WOULDN'T KNOW
353
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,265
HOW TO FIGURE THIS OUT.
AND I'VE PROBABLY HAVE TO, LIKE,
354
00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:55,967
PUT A SAW HORSE
UNDER THEM OR SOMETHING.
355
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:57,335
Chelsea: SO WE GOT A LOT
OF DIFFERENT AREAS
356
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,870
-FOR ENTERTAINING.
-Art: YEAH.
357
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,505
Chelsea:
BREAKFAST NOOK, FULL KITCHEN.
358
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,407
Art: DEBBIE LOVED TO COOK.
359
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,843
Chelsea:
WHAT DOES ART LIKE TO COOK?
360
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,280
Art: WHATEVER DEBBIE DECIDES.
361
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,548
Chelsea: IF ART
KEEPS LOSING HIS SHIT,
362
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,317
I'M GONNA LOSE THIS COMMISSION.
363
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:14,986
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO
BUILD HIM UP!
364
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,988
ART, NO --
ART, DON'T YOU DARE LAY DOWN.
365
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,189
ART, GET OFF THAT COUCH.
366
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,490
Art: I DON'T WANT
TO GET OFF THIS COUCH.
367
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,259
Chelsea: ART,
THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY BED.
368
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,527
-Art: NO!
-Chelsea: GET UP.
369
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,128
Art: THIS IS THE ONLY PIECE
OF FURNITURE
370
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,598
THAT'S AN ACTUAL PIECE
OF FURNITURE IN THE WHOLE PLACE.
371
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,067
Chelsea: ART, YOU DON'T NEED
FURNITURE 'CAUSE YOU'RE A GOD.
372
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,501
YOU SIT ON GODDAMN CLOUDS!
373
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:32,503
-SIT ON THIS CLOUD.
-Art: I DON'T SIT ON CLOUDS.
374
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:34,472
-Chelsea: SIT ON THIS CLOUD!
-Art: I WANT TO TALK TO DEBBIE!
375
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,940
Chelsea: ART, YOU BETTER NOT!
376
00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,276
THIS KITTY CAT
REPRESENTS THE NEW YOU.
377
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:40,011
HE'S FIERCE, HE'S --
378
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,347
HE'S ON THE PROWL,
BUT HE'S NOT TOO THREATENING.
379
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,615
HE'S GOT HIS MOUTH OPEN.
380
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,917
IS IT A SMILE, IS IT A GROWL?
381
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,353
YOU'LL NEVER KNOW,
HOT DENNY'S WAITRESS.
382
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,055
Art: OH. I'M NO CHROME KITTY.
383
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,224
-I'M NO CHROME KITTY.
-Chelsea: YOU'RE A CHROME KITTY!
384
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,492
-Art: I'M NOT.
-Chelsea: YOU ARE.
385
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,527
AND THIS IS DEBBIE,
SHE'S AN OLD, SAD SKULL.
386
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,396
-Art: GIVE ME DEBBIE.
-Chelsea: I DON'T HAVE ANY SKIN.
387
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,431
Art: GIVE ME DEBBIE.
388
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,634
IT FEELS LIKE DEBBIE.
389
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:05,937
DEBBIE HAS A VERY LARGE HEAD,
VERY THIN HAIR.
390
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,338
THIS IS VERY SIMILAR.
391
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,374
-I'M GONNA CALL HER.
-Chelsea: DON'T YOU DARE!
392
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:10,909
Art: I AM GONNA CALL DEBBIE NOW.
393
00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,977
-Chelsea: GIVE ME THIS!
-Art: DEBBIE? DEBBIE?!
394
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,479
-Chelsea: I'LL TAKE IT. DEBBIE?!
-DEBBIE: Hello?
395
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,381
-Chelsea: DEBBIE, HI.
-DEBBIE: Who is this?
396
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,649
-Art?
-Chelsea: THIS IS CHELSEA.
397
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:19,384
-I AM ART'S REALTOR.
-Debbie: REALTOR?
398
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,019
Chelsea:
THAT'S RIGHT, I'M HELPING --
399
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,654
DEBBIE: What's going on here?
Put Art on the phone.
400
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:25,089
Chelsea:
YEAH, YOU CAN TALK TO HIM.
401
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,324
Art: HEY, DEBBIE, IT'S ME.
402
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:27,926
DEBBIE:
Art, are you buying property?
403
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,028
Art:
YES! I'M LOOKING FOR A HOUSE.
404
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,396
DEBBIE: Why on earth
are you buying a house?
405
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,697
Art:
BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME, DEBBIE!
406
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,366
Art: YOU WENT TO LIVE
WITH YOUR SISTER?
407
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,268
DEBBIE: Live with my sister?
408
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,103
-Are you insane?
-Art: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
409
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,239
DEBBIE: I told you last month
I was going to visit her.
410
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,407
You thought I was divorcing you?
411
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,608
Art: NO,
I DIDN'T REMEMBER YOU SAID IT.
412
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,143
DEBBIE:
Don't be ridiculous, Art!
413
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,411
Art: YOU WERE GONNA GO SEE HER.
414
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:47,679
DEBBIE: Oh, my God,
this is so typical.
415
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:50,949
??
416
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:55,353
Amir: TECHNICALLY, DR. HOROWITZ
SHOULDN'T BE MOVING
417
00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,587
INTO THE HOUSE BEFORE ESCROW.
418
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,556
BUT WHEN SOMEONE
HANDS ME $2 MILLION,
419
00:15:58,558 --> 00:15:59,691
THEY CAN MOVE INTO MY BUTT
420
00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:02,026
AND USE MY MOUTH
AS A GUEST HOUSE.
421
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:05,730
SO, HERE IS THE FULLY DRAFTED
CONTRACT, DR. HOROWITZ, AND I --
422
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,966
I GOT EVERYTHING IN HERE
THAT YOU ASKED FOR. I GOT THE --
423
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,034
Trent: WHAT THE HELL IS -- WAIT!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
424
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,736
-WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
-Amir: HEY, HEY, HEY!
425
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,438
-DOCTOR, NO! DOCTOR!
-Trent: NO!
426
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,275
-Trent: I'M THE LISTING AGENT!
-Amir: iESTA BIEN! iESTA BIEN!
427
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,343
ESTA BIEN.
428
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,379
-Horowitz: OKAY.
-Amir: LISTEN!
429
00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:24,148
Trent: EVERYONE, CHILL.
430
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,718
EVERYONE CHILL THE FUCK OUT!
431
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,419
Amir: TRENT
LIKES TO FOLLOW THE RULES.
432
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,421
I DON'T KNOW HOW
HE'S GONNA HANDLE DR. HOROWITZ.
433
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,090
Trent: CAN I ASK
WHAT YOU'RE A DOCTOR IN?
434
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:35,460
Horowitz: I'M A DENTIST...
IN RESEDA.
435
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,496
Jota: AND WE'RE HIS HYGIENISTS.
436
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,732
Horowitz: ARE WE GOING TO
BUY THIS HOME TODAY?
437
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:43,534
Trent: WELL, I DON'T KNOW
THAT WE CAN DO THAT, OKAY?
438
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:46,471
SIR, YOU BROKE IN HERE
AND YOUR HYGIENISTS HAVE GUNS.
439
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:47,505
Horowitz: PIN HIM DOWN
BY HIS SHOULDERS!
440
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,007
Trent: NO, NO!
441
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,274
Horowitz: YOU SAY THIS PLACE
IS IN ESCROW?
442
00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:51,743
Trent:
WELL, IT -- IT HAS TO BE.
443
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:54,512
Horowitz: I'M GONNA ESCROW
YOUR TEETH OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!
444
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,647
Trent: OH, NO, NO!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
445
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,583
-Horowitz: DO WE HAVE A DEAL?!
-Trent: BLACK AND BROWN!
446
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,685
BLACK AND BROWN!
COME ON, WE CAN UNITE.
447
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,553
Horowitz: OKAY.
WE DON'T NEED TO HURT YOU.
448
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:03,755
-Trent: YEAH.
-Horowitz: BECAUSE WE KIDNAPPED
449
00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,356
YOUR WIFE
AND WE'RE PREPARED TO KILL HER.
450
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,424
Trent: WAIT, WHAT?!
NO, YOU DIDN'T!
451
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,525
Amir: SHE DID NOTHING WRONG!
452
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:11,195
Trent: NO! NO! NO, NINA!
453
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:12,497
THAT'S MY BEAUTIFUL WHITE WIFE!
454
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:13,598
NO, PLEASE!
455
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,038
Amir: SO, IT TURNS OUT
THAT KIDNAPPING
456
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,273
IS A SUPER-EFFECTIVE WAY
TO CLOSE A DEAL.
457
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,709
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS!
458
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,244
Trent: I'VE SOLD OUT
MY BLACK COMMUNITY
459
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,080
FOR A LONG TIME
TO GET THAT WHITE WIFE.
460
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,515
PLEASE, PLEASE
DON'T DO ANYTHING.
461
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,250
Horowitz:
EVERYBODY IS INDIVIDUAL.
462
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,720
YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD NOT BE
TAKEN DOWN BY OUR OWN HERITAGE.
463
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,688
Trent: I KNOW, BUT MY RACE
IS REALLY TOUGH ON US.
464
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,123
Horowitz: AND ME, I'M MEXICAN.
465
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,625
Amir: YEAH, I'M LIKE,
IRANIAN, GUYS.
466
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:41,759
Trent: OH, I'VE ALWAYS
WONDERED WHAT YOU ARE.
467
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:43,127
Amir: MY FAMILY IS FROM IRAN.
468
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:44,595
Jota:
I THOUGHT YOU WERE PERSIAN.
469
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,130
Amir: WELL,
THE EMPIRE WAS PERSIAN, BUT --
470
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:48,733
Horowitz: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS,
MAN, ISIS?
471
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,068
Jota: HOLD IT, YOU'RE ISIS?!
472
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,270
-Amir: NO, NO!
-Jota: TALIBAN!
473
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,138
-Trent: ISIS!
-Amir: I AM NOT ISIS OR TALIBAN!
474
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,140
-Jota: ISIL!
-Amir: NO! iESTA BIEN!
475
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,242
OFF! ALLAHU AKBAR!
476
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,546
ALLAHU! ALLAHU AKBAR!
477
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:04,215
ALLAHU AKBAR!
478
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,285
OKAY, I DON'T LIKE
TO PULL THAT MOVE TOO OFTEN,
479
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,687
BUT SOMETIMES IT COMES IN HANDY.
480
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:18,496
??
481
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,366
Baxter: DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES
DURING SEX?
482
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,302
Victoria: I MEAN, IT DEPENDS ON
WHO I'M HAVING SEX WITH.
483
00:18:24,304 --> 00:18:26,704
-IF HE'S UGLY. DO YOU?
-Baxter: THAT MAKES SENSE.
484
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,606
Victoria: WELL, I GUESS
YOU'RE GETTING IT FROM THE BACK,
485
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,108
SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK.
486
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,710
BAXTER AND I
HAVE BASICALLY BECOME BESTIES
487
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,378
SINCE WE WITNESSED THE CHELSEA.
488
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,514
Andrew:
VICTORIA CAN HAVE BAXTER!
489
00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,249
THAT'S FINE.
I DON'T NEED HIM ANYMORE.
490
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:41,586
BECAUSE I GOT A NEW BROTHER
FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!
491
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,588
-Glenn: WHAT UP, MY HOMEYS?
-Andrew: OW!
492
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,590
POP IT!
493
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:48,793
NO, UH, SLAP IT.
494
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,162
-ON THE TOP.
-Glenn: HUH?
495
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,864
-Victoria: SHORTENED BANGS.
-Baxter: REALLY?
496
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,432
Andrew: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
497
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,702
I INTRODUCE TO YOU
THE PICKLE BROS.
498
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,604
Baxter:
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR HAT SAYS.
499
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,905
YOU JUST SAID THE PICKLE BROS.
500
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,707
Victoria: YOUR HAT
SAYS PICKLE JUICE BROS.
501
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:03,908
Andrew: IT'S THE SAME --
YEAH, IT'S THE SAME THING.
502
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,676
-IT A SHORTER WAY TO SAY --
-Victoria: WELL,
503
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,245
NO, THERE'S PICKLES
AND THEN THERE'S PICKLE JUICE.
504
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,213
Andrew: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I INTRODUCE TO YOU
505
00:19:09,215 --> 00:19:10,648
-THE PICKLE JUICE BROS.
-Victoria: NO.
506
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,416
Glenn:
WE'RE THE PICKLE JUICE BROS.
507
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,618
-Andrew: YEAH.
-Baxter: AND?
508
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:14,752
Andrew:
TELL THEM THE STORY, GLENN.
509
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,454
GO AHEAD, THIS IS HILARIOUS.
510
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:19,757
GET READY, SIT BACK,
BE OUR AUDIENCE.
511
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,425
Glenn: WE WENT TO THE FRIDGE,
512
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:24,495
AND THERE WAS A JAR OF PICKLES
WITH NO PICKLES IN IT.
513
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,265
-IT WAS JUST THE JUICE.
-Andrew: JESUS CHRIST, GLENN.
514
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,734
-Glenn: WHAT? WHAT?
-Andrew: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
515
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,269
Victoria:
IS THAT THE WHOLE STORY?
516
00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,237
Andrew: NO, IT'S NOT
THE WHOLE STORY -- RELAX.
517
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,906
-Glenn: OH, I GOT IT. I GOT IT.
-Andrew: NO.
518
00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:36,607
Glenn:
WE WERE HUNGRY FOR PICKLES.
519
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,242
AND THERE WERE
NO PICKLES IN THE JAR.
520
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:40,278
-IT WAS JUST THE JUICE.
-Victoria: WHY IS THIS FUNNY?
521
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,181
Andrew: FIRST OF ALL --
OKAY, YOU GUYS ASKED US.
522
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,649
WE HAPPEN TO BE
HANGING OUT HERE.
523
00:19:44,651 --> 00:19:45,883
-SO MAYBE YOU NEED TO --
-Victoria: NO, NO, NO,
524
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,685
YOU PARADED IN HERE
WITH YOUR HATS.
525
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,720
-Andrew: PARADED? THAT'S RACIST.
-Victoria: YEAH.
526
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:50,888
Andrew:
LISTEN, IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS
527
00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,523
WHERE YOU HAD TO BE THERE,
YOU KNOW?
528
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,824
YOU HAD TO BE IN THE SITUATION.
529
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,760
-Victoria: THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
-Baxter: YEAH.
530
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,629
THIS IS LIKE SEEING
YOUR DAD ON TINDER.
531
00:19:58,631 --> 00:19:59,964
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW WE MATCH,
BUT WE DID.
532
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,732
Andrew: TELL ME
WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHELSEA.
533
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,367
Victoria: WE TOLD YOU
WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHELSEA.
534
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,802
Andrew: LET ME
INTO THE CHELSEA GROUP.
535
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,805
Baxter: IT WAS THIS. "OW!"
536
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,707
Andrew: YEAH, I KNOW,
AND IT'S HILARIOUS --
537
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,375
IT'S HILARIOUS,
BUT SOMEHOW I DON'T --
538
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,677
-Victoria: IT'S HILARIOUS.
-Andrew: YOU CAN --
539
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:13,945
YOU CAN LEAVE.
540
00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:16,214
UH, LIKE, IS IT CAUGHT
ON HER HAIR, OR --
541
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:17,815
-Victoria: I JUST FEEL LIKE --
-Andrew: 'CAUSE I CAN DO IT.
542
00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:19,784
Victoria: I FEEL LIKE
WE'VE ATTEMPTED SO MANY TIMES
543
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:20,985
TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.
Andrew: I KNOW, BUT --
544
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,820
Victoria: AND YOU DON'T GET IT.
545
00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:25,423
Baxter: SHE JUST WENT "OW!"
IT WAS LIKE A HAND MOTION.
546
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,725
-Victoria: YEAH, YEAH.
-Andrew: WHO WAS SHE CALLING?
547
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,660
Victoria: I'M SORRY,
NO, YOU'RE NOT IN THE GROUP.
548
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,529
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
'CAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE.
549
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,364
AND I'M SORRY.
YOU HAD TO BE THERE.
550
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,999
MAYBE NEXT TIME
YOU SHOULD BE THERE
551
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,235
WHEN THE EMBARRASSING
THING HAPPENS.
552
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,770
Andrew: I JUST THINK
IT'S STUPID, THOUGH,
553
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:42,573
BECAUSE IT'S SUCH
AN EASY THING TO DESCRIBE.
554
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,977
-OH.
-Victoria: I'M CHOKING.
555
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,645
-Andrew: YOU LOOK LIKE --
-Victoria: I'M CHOKING.
556
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:51,616
Baxter: SHE'S CHOKING. OH!
557
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,919
-OH, MY GOD!
-Andrew: FEED ME, MOMMY.
558
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,723
-ARF!
-Victoria: OH, MY GOD!
559
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,591
Andrew: WERE YOU
JUST FEEDING BABY BIRDS?
560
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,526
-Victoria: NO, I --
-Baxter: YEAH,
561
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,362
IT WAS LIKE, "MAMA'S HERE!"
562
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:09,467
Victoria: HEY, YOU GUYS,
I ALMOST JUST DIED!
563
00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:11,335
I ALMOST CHOKED TO DEATH!
564
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:13,604
Baxter: UH-OH, UH-OH!
565
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,339
Victoria: ALL RIGHT!
566
00:21:15,341 --> 00:21:18,009
WOULD YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHT
IT WAS SO FUNNY IF I DIED?
567
00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:19,877
Glenn:
WE WOULD HAVE SHARED THAT.
568
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:21,279
Andrew: IMAGINE THAT!
569
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:22,913
THAT WAS VERY, VERY
STUPID LOOKING.
570
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:24,882
-Baxter: THAT WAS SO FUNNY.
-Victoria: OKAY, VERY FUNNY.
571
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,718
-Glenn: THAT WAS GREAT.
-Victoria: HEY, BAXTER?
572
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,288
REMEMBER THE...
573
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:34,558
Baxter: THAT'S OLD.
DON'T DO OLD JOKES.
574
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,361
Andrew: PICKLE BROS. CLEAN UP.
575
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:41,065
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS EVER
HANGING OUT WITH HER.
576
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,371
THAT WAS CLOSE.
577
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:48,639
SHE SUCKS!
578
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,808
-WE'RE BACK.
-Andrew: WE'RE BACK.
579
00:21:51,877 --> 00:21:53,978
Glenn:
SOMEONE MADE QUITE A MESS.
580
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:56,514
Victoria: YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF.
581
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:58,983
NOW.
582
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:03,888
NO! ALL THE WAY.
583
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,856
-Glenn: I'M FUCKING OFF.
-Victoria: NO.
584
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:08,459
AND TAKE OFF THAT STUPID HAT!
585
00:22:09,895 --> 00:22:12,029
I CAN STILL SEE YOU.
586
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:14,465
-GET OUT NOW!
-Glenn: I'M FUCKED OFF.
587
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,801
Victoria: NO! THAT'S IT!
588
00:22:16,803 --> 00:22:20,371
GO! COME HERE! COME HERE!
COME HERE!
589
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:25,109
??
590
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:54,105
Horowitz: SORRY
ABOUT THE MIX-UP EARLIER.
591
00:22:54,107 --> 00:22:56,140
I WAS -- I WAS NOT AWARE
THAT THERE WERE TWO AGENTS
592
00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:58,376
-INVOLVED IN BUYING A HOUSE.
-Amir: THAT'S TOTALLY FINE.
593
00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:00,144
I'M SORRY I PRETENDED TO BE
A SUICIDE BOMBER.
594
00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:02,446
Horowitz: WELL, YOU HAD TO DO
WHAT YOU HAD TO DO, EH?
595
00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:04,048
Amir: ACTUALLY, IF YOU CAN
PUT A REVIEW ON MY YELP PAGE.
596
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:05,683
Horowitz: ABSOLUTELY.
WE WILL ALL DO THAT.
597
00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:07,151
-Jota: YEAH, WE CAN.
-Amir: YEAH, IF ALL FOUR OF YOU
598
00:23:07,153 --> 00:23:08,686
CAN DO THAT,
THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
599
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:11,555
[ SIREN WAILING ]
600
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:16,961
[ GUNFIRE ]
601
00:23:17,011 --> 00:23:21,561
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