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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,120 THIS FILM IS DEDICATED TO SIMPLE SOULS... 4 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:08,360 Yes. This film is dedicated to simple souls. 5 00:02:08,531 --> 00:02:10,420 To maids who are in love, 6 00:02:10,678 --> 00:02:13,998 to the lonely check-out assistants who spend their Sundays alone, 7 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:19,200 to the spinsters, who at 50, still hope to find their soul mate. 8 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,272 To the travelling salesmen, seeking amorous adventures, 9 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,040 who believe in the existence of a perfect manual for charmers. 10 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,670 Many centuries ago, 11 00:02:27,838 --> 00:02:30,746 the famous sibyls, with their answers, 12 00:02:30,935 --> 00:02:33,255 resolved problems for those in doubt. 13 00:02:33,414 --> 00:02:37,614 The new temples which provide advice and answers 14 00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:39,840 are newspaper kiosks. 15 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:43,560 The most famous writer for those in doubt is Lady Eva. 16 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:50,040 This isn't her, it's how Lady Eva describes herself in her column. 17 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,440 Every week she tells her readers about her personal grooming, 18 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,800 about her elegant life spent going to parties and fox-hunting. 19 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:01,760 She describes the wonderful villa where she lives, 20 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,840 which in actual fact is a house in the suburbs, 21 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,720 where every week a newspaper delivery man 22 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,640 brings Eva the letters from her readers. 23 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:23,739 The name on the doorbell isn't "Lady Eva Bolavsky", 24 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,840 but simply: "Cangiullo". 25 00:03:32,819 --> 00:03:36,040 - Good morning. - Good morning, are you new? 26 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,280 Yes. 27 00:03:37,689 --> 00:03:40,285 Eva, your mail has arrived! 28 00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:43,514 Eva, your mail! 29 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:51,517 Today my voice could shatter chandeliers! 30 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,920 - I have a message from the editor. - Come this way, don't dirty anything. 31 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,919 Eva! 32 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:05,080 - Mama! - Here you are! Where were you, dear? 33 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:08,000 Your mail's arrived. There's a new delivery man. 34 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,800 Good morning, mama. 35 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,080 I was varnishing Tristan, his shell is opaque. 36 00:04:13,305 --> 00:04:17,160 - Damn those tortoises! - Leave me alone, it's my hobby! 37 00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:20,720 Tristan looks lovely when he's shiny. I can't bear to see him opaque. 38 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,080 Summer's not a great time for males, remember papa? 39 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,920 Isolde instead is a darling. 40 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,160 She would like to have fun, unlike him. 41 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,440 It's the same for tortoises too... 42 00:04:33,835 --> 00:04:35,102 Mama. 43 00:04:36,989 --> 00:04:38,989 What's this one like? 44 00:04:39,455 --> 00:04:43,540 Muscly. I wish a feeble one would turn up. 45 00:04:43,646 --> 00:04:46,726 At least then, less muscle... more brains. 46 00:04:51,245 --> 00:04:53,245 - Good morning. - Good morning. 47 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,663 - The usual "Discobolus". - Pardon? 48 00:04:57,833 --> 00:05:00,353 Nothing, put it down here, my dear. 49 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,760 The editor says they're waiting for you to publish the magazine. 50 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,840 He said to hurry up with your replies. 51 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,488 - I don't know you, what's your name? - "Erose". 52 00:05:08,717 --> 00:05:11,357 Eros, middle class. 53 00:05:11,647 --> 00:05:13,870 It's the name of a horse that my father bet on and won, 54 00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:15,576 two days after I was born. 55 00:05:15,721 --> 00:05:18,245 It's a bastardly name, everyone teases me about it. 56 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:23,580 "Winged Eros shooteth his arrow and it stricketh the heart." 57 00:05:24,126 --> 00:05:25,486 - Well? - What... 58 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,000 It's a verse by Byron that I used for a woman 59 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,326 whose pilot husband was cheating on her. 60 00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:36,828 - It helped console her, poor woman! - What are you going on about? 61 00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:40,956 Go, Eros, mama will give you your tip. 62 00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:45,611 - Goodbye! - Tell the editor I'll be quick. 63 00:05:49,733 --> 00:05:51,681 Letters! Letters! 64 00:05:51,966 --> 00:05:55,806 Every day I must create a fantastical kingdom! 65 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,920 With this heat, I'll have to shower my bosom. 66 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:07,760 Eva, I gave the delivery man 30 lire, he walked up 9 flights! 67 00:06:07,897 --> 00:06:09,160 I did the right thing, didn't I? 68 00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,405 - Do you mean Eros? - Yes. 69 00:06:10,539 --> 00:06:12,139 You're such an idealist! 70 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:16,600 Get to work! Leave that there. Tell me what the first letter says. 71 00:06:16,952 --> 00:06:19,975 Let's see... "Abandoned 80-year-old." 72 00:06:20,165 --> 00:06:24,877 - Abandoned? Not seduced? - No. 73 00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:29,000 "I'm an 85-year-old woman, widowed, with no children," 74 00:06:29,104 --> 00:06:32,944 "and I've no shame in admitting that I'm very rich, a millionaire in fact." 75 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:38,722 I am lonely and bored of living in my huge villa 76 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:44,729 surrounded only by irritating people who ruin my day. 77 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,826 Especially a doctor, who I, much to my regret, 78 00:06:48,954 --> 00:06:51,234 brought over from England 79 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,080 and who torments me with his treatments. 80 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,417 I feel I still have my whole life ahead, 81 00:06:59,633 --> 00:07:04,538 but I can no longer stand this situation. I'm desperate. 82 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,750 "Seeing the situation I find myself in, tell me:" 83 00:07:07,849 --> 00:07:10,049 "is there any hope for me?" - At 80? 84 00:07:10,250 --> 00:07:11,526 Correct. 85 00:07:13,147 --> 00:07:14,867 Write this... 86 00:07:15,224 --> 00:07:17,600 Dear "Abandoned 80-year-old", 87 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:22,840 your handwriting reveals a youthful, enterprising and sensuous spirit. 88 00:07:23,499 --> 00:07:25,560 Sensuous at 80? 89 00:07:25,886 --> 00:07:28,855 Why not! Every age has its charm. 90 00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:33,080 I'll publish your letter so that some kind soul can hear your plea 91 00:07:33,308 --> 00:07:35,840 and resolve your problem. 92 00:07:36,234 --> 00:07:39,160 Mama, you see how hopeful these 80-year-olds are? 93 00:07:39,445 --> 00:07:41,840 You too could find yourself a boyfriend. 94 00:07:42,518 --> 00:07:46,686 "Hungry for an Oscar". Here's another wannabe film star. 95 00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:49,497 "Lady Eva, only you can console my sadness" 96 00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:52,312 "for not having yet become rich and famous." 97 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:55,524 "I'm not crazy, I live in the suburbs..." 98 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,977 I'm a sales assistant in a tobacconist's. 99 00:08:01,546 --> 00:08:04,720 But I feel I was born to be a film star. 100 00:08:08,366 --> 00:08:10,526 Chained to my dark fate! 101 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:13,040 Today's news and a big, fat cigar. 102 00:08:15,238 --> 00:08:20,177 "The State Commission's decision is imminent..." 103 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,840 What did you give me? 104 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,228 Every morning, in the privacy of my bedroom, I torment myself. 105 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:32,560 Even though I'm 19, I think I have the artistic talent of a diva. 106 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,848 Sophia Loren's communicative skill. 107 00:08:41,165 --> 00:08:45,731 MEASUREMENTS OF THE STARS Neck - Bust - Waist 108 00:08:46,407 --> 00:08:50,010 Lollobrigida's interpretative skill. 109 00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:57,677 And all of Marilyn Monroe's means of expression. 110 00:08:58,796 --> 00:09:02,049 Unfortunately I have an old-fashioned parent who knows nothing about art. 111 00:09:10,655 --> 00:09:12,175 But I know I can make it. 112 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,920 So I'm writing to you for help and for advice. 113 00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:17,160 My life depends on it! 114 00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:19,204 "My life depends on it." 115 00:09:19,551 --> 00:09:22,600 This makes a total of 102 artistic vocations this week. 116 00:09:22,832 --> 00:09:26,200 This one even sent a photo! Where do all these vocations come from? 117 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,665 When you're born an artist like this girl 118 00:09:28,817 --> 00:09:31,537 your vocation becomes stronger as you get older! 119 00:09:32,164 --> 00:09:35,040 This girl's vocation seems irrepressible. 120 00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:37,546 Mama, do you have any more of those chicken hormones? 121 00:09:37,663 --> 00:09:39,230 I need a pick-me-up. 122 00:09:39,350 --> 00:09:43,579 To look good I should have Kelly's measurements. Write. 123 00:09:44,490 --> 00:09:46,400 Dear "Hungry for an Oscar", 124 00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:50,506 your vocation is legitimate and genuine... 125 00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:57,417 My dear, let's answer one more then go to bed. 126 00:09:58,707 --> 00:10:01,671 "Cheerful soul from Caltanissetta." 127 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,311 Nonsense! 128 00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:08,789 They never write intelligent things, of any spiritual or geographical interest. 129 00:10:08,876 --> 00:10:11,676 Good heavens, no! We'd need an encyclopaedia then. 130 00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:14,822 Listen to what this silly girl says! 131 00:10:14,957 --> 00:10:18,111 "Lady Eva, do you believe in love at first sight?" 132 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,351 Why is that silly? 133 00:10:20,699 --> 00:10:21,714 Write. 134 00:10:22,773 --> 00:10:24,920 Dear "Cheerful soul", 135 00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:28,200 you ask whether I believe in "coup de foudre". 136 00:10:28,436 --> 00:10:30,400 Of course. 137 00:10:31,682 --> 00:10:36,144 I will tell you about something that happened to me, 138 00:10:36,422 --> 00:10:40,771 who's always tried to learn from the great lesson of life. 139 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,560 I was in Paris. 140 00:10:42,915 --> 00:10:46,280 I remember I came across Olga Alexandrovna's "coach-and-four", 141 00:10:46,482 --> 00:10:51,187 "The siren dressed as a Cossack", as the Tsar jokingly called her. 142 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:56,175 It was spring and I felt light-hearted, 143 00:10:56,383 --> 00:11:01,478 and my love for nature, learnt at the Balzac School, 144 00:11:01,834 --> 00:11:04,920 made me stop in front of a stall selling flowers, 145 00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,106 similar to those in a Renoir painting. 146 00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:11,036 I remember buying roses and magnolias to make a bouquet 147 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,200 to place at the feet of my favourite icon. 148 00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:17,407 I was a very devoted young woman. 149 00:11:17,815 --> 00:11:23,040 I continued walking, when suddenly he appeared! 150 00:11:24,908 --> 00:11:29,107 It was like a sudden, violent clash of souls. 151 00:11:32,371 --> 00:11:36,440 - Are you blind? Didn't you see me? - I'm sorry. 152 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:40,800 Are you hurt? 153 00:11:42,261 --> 00:11:43,920 No, I'm fine. 154 00:11:44,109 --> 00:11:48,303 Instead it was a case of instant infatuation, my dear "Cheerful soul". 155 00:11:49,345 --> 00:11:51,897 - No, I'm sorry. - I'm more sorry than the both of you! 156 00:11:51,989 --> 00:11:54,229 Who's going to pay for my goods? 157 00:11:54,457 --> 00:11:57,470 - I'm sorry, it was my fault. - Your head's always in the clouds! 158 00:11:57,548 --> 00:12:00,074 Last time you took a kilo of melons without paying for them! 159 00:12:00,165 --> 00:12:01,424 In good faith! 160 00:12:01,684 --> 00:12:06,040 How dare you offend the lady? Pick on me instead. 161 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,136 You don't even know how to drive a moped! 162 00:12:09,371 --> 00:12:13,560 The insult directed to my honour by the odious Viscount of Tourbillon, 163 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,800 who later vanished from the European scene 164 00:12:16,975 --> 00:12:21,471 due to a sardine scandal that made many crowned heads shudder, 165 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:25,720 called for action, a duel. And he fought for me. 166 00:12:26,275 --> 00:12:31,767 They faced each other in a pistol duel on a cold September morning. 167 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:37,040 - Leave him alone! - You're lucky I got a caution! 168 00:12:37,238 --> 00:12:39,238 You're the lucky one! 169 00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:45,800 Where's that cat gone? Fifì! 170 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:51,560 Fifì, come here! At last! You're convalescing. 171 00:12:51,883 --> 00:12:55,000 - I found it at last. - Is it yours? 172 00:12:55,112 --> 00:12:58,760 - She's a patient of mine, Fifì. - Are you a vet? 173 00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,840 Yes. 174 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:03,400 Taking care of defenceless animals is a mission. 175 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,885 Is our lovely Fifì sick? 176 00:13:06,388 --> 00:13:09,331 She had a minor skin rash caused by ticks and fleas. 177 00:13:09,452 --> 00:13:15,885 Nothing serious, she just needs some milk and petrol lotion. 178 00:13:16,032 --> 00:13:18,512 She'll stink for a while, but then she'll be fine. 179 00:13:19,052 --> 00:13:21,770 So who's paying for the 50 kilos of aubergines? 180 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,253 Pass by my house, it's number 22. 181 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:30,109 - You mustn't pay, it was my fault. - Not at all, it was my fault. 182 00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:33,320 I've already been rewarded by meeting a gentleman. 183 00:13:33,463 --> 00:13:35,520 - Don't forget, number 22. - Okay. 184 00:13:35,711 --> 00:13:37,864 - Number 22 on this street? - That's right. 185 00:13:37,945 --> 00:13:39,705 The same building as me. 186 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:43,680 - I'm Mr Marco Cappelli. - Baroness Eva Bolavsky. 187 00:13:44,027 --> 00:13:46,200 My mother's Polish. 188 00:13:46,874 --> 00:13:52,699 Isn't life strange? You live near someone without ever seeing them, 189 00:13:52,925 --> 00:13:57,291 then suddenly the tracks of chance bring you together. 190 00:13:58,142 --> 00:14:01,920 For him too it was a case of sudden infatuation, dear "Cheerful soul". 191 00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:05,920 He looked at me for a long while then he said, in a different tone: 192 00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:08,697 - Can I give you a ride? - Pardon? 193 00:14:08,792 --> 00:14:11,258 A lift on my moped. 194 00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:17,178 I sat down on the seats of his Hispano-Suiza 195 00:14:17,386 --> 00:14:19,760 on which the leather from our sister country Bulgaria 196 00:14:19,895 --> 00:14:23,600 was intertwined with the soft suede from our Finnish cousin. 197 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:28,320 He set off slowly, his hands almost caressing the car 198 00:14:28,425 --> 00:14:32,945 as if it were alive. We didn't talk, the speed intoxicating us 199 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,400 like an acute, pungent perfume. 200 00:14:35,711 --> 00:14:40,954 And you ask, my dear "Cheerful soul", if I believe in love at first sight? 201 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:45,000 "Coup the foudre" is my creed for romance. 202 00:14:46,446 --> 00:14:49,036 Eva... really? 203 00:14:50,119 --> 00:14:52,447 Mama, do you want to see him? 204 00:15:02,953 --> 00:15:05,320 Eva, a vet! 205 00:15:06,058 --> 00:15:09,366 You can see what type he is by how he treats animals, 206 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:14,200 and we intellectual women like these "Brando types", 207 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,977 these "muscle boys". - What does that mean? 208 00:15:18,423 --> 00:15:20,023 Hunks, mama! 209 00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:25,399 Hello? Bolavsky Residence. 210 00:15:26,477 --> 00:15:27,917 Good morning, sir. 211 00:15:28,402 --> 00:15:32,920 Miss Cangiullo, this is your boss speaking. 212 00:15:33,254 --> 00:15:35,200 When will your blessed column arrive? 213 00:15:35,563 --> 00:15:39,200 I've halted printing because your answers haven't arrived yet. 214 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:42,977 Do you know what it means to stop an editorial sector such as ours? 215 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,364 Good afternoon, sir. 216 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:49,720 We're somewhat pressed for time, try to be quick. Goodbye. 217 00:15:50,026 --> 00:15:54,866 As usual we're waiting for Cangiullo. She's a liability! 218 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,194 Did you see the people outside? One day they'll wreak havoc. 219 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:01,253 Nonsense! You think those people bother me? 220 00:16:01,426 --> 00:16:05,329 They're all readers and Lady Eva has made us sell more copies! 221 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:10,112 Sir, Cangiullo's column lowers the newspaper's grade. 222 00:16:10,238 --> 00:16:15,989 I wanted to give it a more serious slant, a political one... 223 00:16:16,241 --> 00:16:19,800 Come off it, that's nonsense, Mr Borgiani! 224 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,160 Newspapers are made to be sold! 225 00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:26,849 - It's a matter of dignity. - Rubbish, Mr Borgiani! 226 00:16:26,973 --> 00:16:30,373 When I see people reading my newspaper I'm happy! 227 00:16:30,563 --> 00:16:32,560 And I'm grateful to Lady Eva. 228 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:37,412 They don't read your political stuff, they read Lady Eva's column! 229 00:16:37,771 --> 00:16:40,251 In fact, what's more, 230 00:16:40,429 --> 00:16:45,909 in the next edition Lady Eva's column will be on the front page. 231 00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:50,503 Everyone'll read it! If there's room, we'll include your political column. 232 00:16:50,763 --> 00:16:54,808 From politicians to labourers, aristocratic ladies to dressmaker's, 233 00:16:54,965 --> 00:17:00,563 Lady Eva must enter people's homes like the radio, films and TV do! 234 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:05,746 "Abandoned 80-year-old..." 235 00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:12,317 Your handwriting reveals a youthful, enterprising and sensuous spirit. 236 00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:18,817 I'll publish your letter so that some kind soul can hear your plea... 237 00:17:19,322 --> 00:17:22,107 and console your solitude. 238 00:17:26,135 --> 00:17:27,735 "Kind soul." 239 00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:31,290 Dear Lady Eva, my husband no longer thinks about me. 240 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:36,559 He neglects me, saying he works too much and is always tired. 241 00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:39,085 How can I win his affection back? 242 00:17:39,235 --> 00:17:43,893 Dear "Shipwrecked lover", how you must suffer! 243 00:17:44,269 --> 00:17:51,364 The love of many wives was sacrificed to Hymen. 244 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:57,920 So I will give you too the usual advice I give in these cases. 245 00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:01,658 To win back your husband's affection 246 00:18:01,755 --> 00:18:06,800 you must create for him an atmosphere of warmth and tenderness. 247 00:18:07,095 --> 00:18:10,615 Be beautiful at all times. 248 00:18:10,722 --> 00:18:16,360 If your husband neglects you, call him at work. 249 00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:25,880 Yes, this is the news kiosk. 250 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,240 What? Mr Gigliozzi is directing traffic. Thanks. 251 00:18:30,278 --> 00:18:32,410 Move along! 252 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,800 What are you doing? Move it! 253 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,360 Is it urgent? I'll call him right away! 254 00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:46,669 Mr Gigliozzi. Mr Gigliozzi! 255 00:18:46,855 --> 00:18:49,600 - What is it? - There's a call for you. 256 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,080 - It's a woman, she said it's urgent. - I can't come, I'm working. 257 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:56,320 - She said it's very urgent! - Go away! 258 00:18:56,455 --> 00:18:59,563 Urgent? Grandma's died! 259 00:18:59,926 --> 00:19:04,166 At her age she insists on doing the laundry! She's so stubborn! 260 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,880 Wait. I'm coming! 261 00:19:15,817 --> 00:19:20,423 Hello? How did it happen? What time did Grandma die? 262 00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:24,098 Grandma! What time did she die? 263 00:19:24,493 --> 00:19:30,101 It's not your grandma, it's me. Can you hear me clearly, Pipinuccio? 264 00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:32,593 Of course! Why, is the phone broken? 265 00:19:32,791 --> 00:19:36,612 I didn't mean the phone. 266 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,119 I want you to feel the warmth of my affection. 267 00:19:40,575 --> 00:19:45,655 What warmth? Are you nuts? I'm directing traffic! 268 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:48,270 - Do you want to get me sacked? - What? 269 00:19:48,410 --> 00:19:54,010 I'm taking an interest in your work, trying to rekindle the lost affection. 270 00:19:54,521 --> 00:19:56,321 Lady Eva suggests... 271 00:19:56,949 --> 00:20:02,272 I knew it! It's that stupid pain in the ass of a woman! 272 00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:06,282 It's her who tells you to put steaks on your face while I starve! 273 00:20:06,465 --> 00:20:09,242 Stop listening to that wretched woman! 274 00:20:09,513 --> 00:20:13,313 If Mr Tamburello catches me on the phone while I'm on duty, 275 00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:16,456 I won't get promoted! Do you understand? 276 00:20:18,732 --> 00:20:22,002 I knew it! Damned, wretched woman! 277 00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,566 Do you want to break the phone? 278 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,865 Dammit, what a long cable! 279 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,120 Mr Tamburello! 280 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,040 Good. 281 00:20:53,189 --> 00:20:56,963 - Good morning, is everything okay? - Good morning. Yes. 282 00:20:57,042 --> 00:21:00,591 - Luckily, you're here. - Modestly speaking, when I'm here... 283 00:21:02,337 --> 00:21:04,637 No need to be modest, you're good. 284 00:21:04,812 --> 00:21:10,774 Tonight you'll be on duty at Piazza Colonna and at Piazza Venezia. 285 00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:14,107 Cars will be returning from Castelfusano 286 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,564 and so will the fans from the match at Stadio Olimpico. 287 00:21:16,701 --> 00:21:20,783 - We need someone with authority. - Don't worry. 288 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,175 I hope I'll live up to your expectations. 289 00:21:23,295 --> 00:21:27,215 It's in my interest, I'm waiting to be transferred to HQ. 290 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,685 - Do your best then. - I will. 291 00:21:29,773 --> 00:21:33,382 My regards to your wife and to your mother. 292 00:21:33,486 --> 00:21:35,405 I know she's still alive. 293 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,680 - I'm an orphan, unfortunately. - I'm sorry. Goodbye, Gigliozzi. 294 00:21:42,269 --> 00:21:46,503 Dammit! Piazza Venezia and Piazza Colonna...! 295 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,200 LONG LIVE PIPINUCCIO 296 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:54,600 Lady Eva says I mustn't lose heart even though I'm rich 297 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,400 and he's just a traffic officer. 298 00:21:57,482 --> 00:22:01,842 She says married life should be full of surprises. 299 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:06,641 So I didn't tell Pipinuccio that it's our 15th wedding anniversary. 300 00:22:06,862 --> 00:22:10,302 And he doesn't know you're here either! 301 00:22:10,575 --> 00:22:15,244 Great idea, this way we were able to meet each other. 302 00:22:15,374 --> 00:22:19,560 What a surprise it'll be for him to find his boss here! 303 00:22:19,732 --> 00:22:24,292 He always talks about Mr Tamburello. 304 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:27,160 Now Mr Tamburello is in his house! 305 00:22:27,535 --> 00:22:30,600 - I don't understand this invitation! - It's a kind invitation. 306 00:22:30,779 --> 00:22:34,445 He could've invited me himself, I spoke to him today! 307 00:22:34,580 --> 00:22:36,300 I could've said no! 308 00:22:36,954 --> 00:22:40,192 But these calls between our wives, this indirect invitation... 309 00:22:40,303 --> 00:22:43,322 Calm down, you have to show your staff some understanding. 310 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:44,680 I do that! 311 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:49,040 I think I know why he invited me. He wants a promotion. 312 00:22:49,225 --> 00:22:52,978 - I can't stand all this grovelling! - Be quiet! 313 00:22:55,147 --> 00:22:59,480 Hush! We saw him from the window, he's coming! 314 00:22:59,595 --> 00:23:02,473 - And so? - Hush, it's a surprise! 315 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,520 I feel dazed. 316 00:23:06,892 --> 00:23:12,187 Three hours in the sun in that uniform! Oh, my head! 317 00:23:12,266 --> 00:23:14,947 - Lift! - One moment! 318 00:23:15,843 --> 00:23:18,220 City people have a great life! 319 00:23:23,261 --> 00:23:26,050 My dear, how nice to see you! 320 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:28,880 After 15 years, have you only noticed me now? 321 00:23:29,018 --> 00:23:30,382 What's up with you? 322 00:23:30,469 --> 00:23:35,190 - Leave me alone. - Do you know what day it is today? 323 00:23:35,687 --> 00:23:39,713 June 15th, the anniversary of the invention of the quadrilateral. 324 00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:42,274 What a great invention! 325 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:47,200 - I've a surprise for you. - I'm tired, I've been in the sun... 326 00:23:47,340 --> 00:23:51,580 - Don't take your jacket off! - What's the matter with you today? 327 00:23:51,695 --> 00:23:54,055 - Put this blindfold on. - What are you doing? 328 00:23:54,140 --> 00:23:56,423 Don't take it off! 329 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,480 Swear on your mother's life that you won't take it off. 330 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,920 All right! 331 00:24:01,034 --> 00:24:03,897 - What are you doing? - I'll blindfold you like Cupid. 332 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:08,680 I'd love to meet this Cupid! Slow down, wait! 333 00:24:09,340 --> 00:24:13,600 Don't make me fall! If I fall, I'll break my legs! 334 00:24:14,438 --> 00:24:17,798 Don't move or take off your blindfold, you swore! 335 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:21,805 - I'll be right back. - Damn the day I married her! 336 00:24:22,247 --> 00:24:25,234 The armchair was over here. 337 00:24:27,730 --> 00:24:29,973 Is there a draft in here? 338 00:24:30,393 --> 00:24:33,428 Where am I? Is this the sitting room? 339 00:24:35,727 --> 00:24:36,970 Here it is. 340 00:24:39,316 --> 00:24:42,280 My goodness, my shoes! Dammit! 341 00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:46,165 Five junctions! 342 00:24:46,655 --> 00:24:49,654 Not one, but five junctions! 343 00:24:53,505 --> 00:24:58,071 I'm worrying about my promotion and she wants to surprise me. 344 00:24:58,249 --> 00:25:02,369 New socks, dammit. 345 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:07,560 Teresa's left me like this! Can I take my blindfold off? 346 00:25:07,741 --> 00:25:09,541 No! You swore you wouldn't! 347 00:25:09,643 --> 00:25:12,403 That uniform is so tight on me! 348 00:25:17,544 --> 00:25:21,483 It makes me itch all over! Even my liver's itchy! 349 00:25:22,299 --> 00:25:26,805 Seven hours of junctions! It's enough to drive you up the wall. 350 00:25:27,011 --> 00:25:30,172 Exactly. Talking of walls... 351 00:25:30,478 --> 00:25:32,663 I've got a rash! 352 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:37,880 This joke has gone too far, I'm a public official! 353 00:25:38,093 --> 00:25:41,552 - Hush now, it's time to surprise him. - Right, great surprise. 354 00:25:44,968 --> 00:25:48,913 - Shall I keep it on? - Yes, hold on, there's a surprise. 355 00:25:49,059 --> 00:25:52,603 - A surprise! - How was work? 356 00:25:52,746 --> 00:25:57,986 I slaved away for 3 hours in the sun at the fourth junction of the day! 357 00:25:58,196 --> 00:26:04,320 I'd just finished when guess who showed up to assign me to another five? 358 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:09,280 Mr Tamburello. What a nice man he is! 359 00:26:09,421 --> 00:26:11,341 The phone rings, who is it? Tamburello! 360 00:26:13,540 --> 00:26:15,511 I open the door and who's there? Tamburello! 361 00:26:15,617 --> 00:26:17,177 I hear a noise, who's there? 362 00:26:17,652 --> 00:26:20,641 Oh God... I hear a noise... 363 00:26:22,772 --> 00:26:24,408 Oh God. 364 00:26:25,798 --> 00:26:27,678 Tamburello! 365 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,249 Tamburello... 366 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:35,680 I could see through this blindfold... Mr Tamburello. 367 00:26:35,785 --> 00:26:38,985 Did you like the... joke? 368 00:26:39,582 --> 00:26:43,861 - We were going along with it too. - I didn't want to take part, but... 369 00:26:43,940 --> 00:26:48,526 - We're good sports. - The Tamburellos are our guests! 370 00:26:48,887 --> 00:26:53,957 My dear, the Tamburellos are here! Why are you here? 371 00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:55,746 Your wife... 372 00:26:56,058 --> 00:27:00,910 It was her! I should've known! 373 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:05,920 - The surprises aren't over, are they? - This is my wife. 374 00:27:06,077 --> 00:27:10,103 Mrs Tamburello! I'm so honoured. 375 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,800 Mr Tamburello's mother. 376 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:15,571 Here's your surprise! 377 00:27:16,254 --> 00:27:23,494 Happy anniversary to us, happy anniversary to us... 378 00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:25,927 What happened to you? 379 00:27:26,935 --> 00:27:31,455 - Sorry! Go away! - I'll go check on the food. 380 00:27:33,611 --> 00:27:36,491 - Your wife... - Of course! Of course! 381 00:27:36,575 --> 00:27:42,535 - My mother's here, and my wife... - I'm sorry, Mr Tamburello. 382 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,960 Excuse me... I'll be right back. 383 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,611 Excuse me. 384 00:27:48,302 --> 00:27:53,382 Is that Lady Eva's house? They gave me the right number. 385 00:27:53,555 --> 00:27:56,222 She just wanted to help! 386 00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:02,280 Eva, a man's making threats and saying terrible things about you! 387 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:06,760 - Must be someone we haven't paid. - No, it's a crazy reader. 388 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,969 Maybe it's "Valentine's Spirit", the one who was in the asylum. 389 00:28:10,144 --> 00:28:14,744 I suggested he try to escape. In the spiritual sense though! Now go. 390 00:28:16,557 --> 00:28:20,680 Hello? Eva speaking. I understand, "Valentine's Spirit". 391 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,816 When I escaped with a child in my arms when Warsaw was invaded, 392 00:28:24,944 --> 00:28:26,900 they thought I was mad. 393 00:28:27,150 --> 00:28:29,441 I'm hanging up! I'm a public official! 394 00:28:29,565 --> 00:28:33,045 For goodness' sake, I'm a public official, I can't stoop this low! 395 00:28:33,156 --> 00:28:34,721 I'll ruin my career! 396 00:28:34,903 --> 00:28:39,400 HAPPINESS IS GUARANTEED WITH LADY EVA'S ADVICE 397 00:28:50,335 --> 00:28:56,436 If you're convinced you have the sacred artistic fire within you, 398 00:28:56,609 --> 00:29:00,769 then all you need is the chance for your destiny to be fulfilled. 399 00:29:01,154 --> 00:29:07,034 Not excluding that you can create this golden opportunity for yourself. 400 00:29:07,395 --> 00:29:12,069 All the great divas started their careers by chance. 401 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:21,201 I suggest you purchase the entire series of "Hollywood Stars", 402 00:29:21,340 --> 00:29:26,420 published by us, which costs 100 lire per issue. 403 00:29:26,813 --> 00:29:30,213 But glory didn't come easily to our Marilyn. 404 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:34,320 After 3 years of failed attempts she wouldn't have become a star, 405 00:29:34,535 --> 00:29:38,701 if one day, appearing in a film as an extra, 406 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,040 she hadn't been spotted by the director, 407 00:29:41,348 --> 00:29:46,158 who gave her a bigger role, making her the protagonist. 408 00:29:54,673 --> 00:29:59,393 Wait, the director's coming! Don't push! 409 00:29:59,817 --> 00:30:04,017 - How do you get hired? - Did you register at the job office? 410 00:30:04,123 --> 00:30:06,239 - No. - Get lost then! 411 00:30:11,295 --> 00:30:14,618 Make way, let me through! 412 00:30:15,843 --> 00:30:20,347 I don't have time, talk to the production team! Out of the way! 413 00:30:39,215 --> 00:30:43,649 Martine's story doesn't begin in a television studio. 414 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:48,276 It's a very strange story, it starts with a suicide. 415 00:30:49,749 --> 00:30:53,389 The world discovered Martine Carol and her beauty... 416 00:30:53,509 --> 00:30:58,892 the day she jumped into the Seine. Her attempted suicide caused a stir. 417 00:31:03,983 --> 00:31:05,749 Poor Tristan and Isolde! 418 00:31:05,854 --> 00:31:10,775 I put them in the fridge so that I can call the doctor. 419 00:31:10,863 --> 00:31:15,637 How sweet, they're like statues, they never move! 420 00:31:16,015 --> 00:31:20,758 Won't they die of cold before your vet gets here? 421 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,873 Tortoises live for over 300 years, read the encyclopaedia. 422 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,080 Good. 423 00:31:26,323 --> 00:31:28,320 What shall I make you for dinner? 424 00:31:28,591 --> 00:31:33,991 Go to the cinema! I don't know when the vet will come. 425 00:31:34,273 --> 00:31:38,820 I don't know which film to choose. Films aren't what they used to be! 426 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:40,280 What shall I wear? 427 00:31:40,567 --> 00:31:43,240 I don't know. How about that pretty sweater of yours? 428 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,440 It makes you look like a schoolgirl. Bye! 429 00:31:45,663 --> 00:31:47,457 Maybe I'll wear your Bulgarian shrug. 430 00:31:47,528 --> 00:31:48,828 I don't know which to choose. 431 00:31:48,871 --> 00:31:51,076 At the Excelsior, there's that new film. 432 00:31:51,194 --> 00:31:55,533 At the Metropolitan, the same one. Are they all showing the same film? 433 00:31:55,883 --> 00:32:01,175 - At the Impero, "Sabrina"! - Haven't you seen it, mama? 434 00:32:01,427 --> 00:32:04,543 Go see it, she's wonderful, delightful! 435 00:32:05,055 --> 00:32:07,876 Sabrina? That's an idea! 436 00:32:08,163 --> 00:32:10,720 What if I dressed up like Sabrina? 437 00:32:11,045 --> 00:32:16,640 I'd need to wear trousers, but my hips are bigger than Audrey's. 438 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,040 The hair's no good, it's nothing like hers. 439 00:32:20,350 --> 00:32:22,510 Maybe the shape will do... 440 00:32:23,664 --> 00:32:24,944 I'll dye it. 441 00:32:28,145 --> 00:32:30,854 Black on blonde, that'll cover it. 442 00:32:31,244 --> 00:32:33,111 It'll take an instant. 443 00:32:35,238 --> 00:32:39,120 Hello? Antonio, it's Eva Bolavsky. 444 00:32:39,309 --> 00:32:42,520 I want to be a brunette again. Can you do it right away? 445 00:32:43,010 --> 00:32:44,578 Good, I'm on my way. 446 00:33:34,175 --> 00:33:38,319 - Good evening, can I help you? - Good evening, I'm the vet. 447 00:33:38,805 --> 00:33:41,720 Ah! I was miles away! 448 00:33:42,598 --> 00:33:45,822 Where are the patients? I can't stay long. 449 00:33:47,291 --> 00:33:49,677 Go on through, please. 450 00:33:52,364 --> 00:33:56,859 I have to hurry, I'm going to Fara in Sabina to visit two sick cows. 451 00:33:57,033 --> 00:33:59,138 Cows, oh! 452 00:33:59,636 --> 00:34:01,128 Yes, two cows. 453 00:34:01,256 --> 00:34:04,976 Doctor, make yourself at home. I don't know where you can sit. 454 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,800 I've been on a long trip and hardly remember my house. 455 00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:14,280 - Would you like some tiger's milk? - No, thanks. I'm teetotal. 456 00:34:14,460 --> 00:34:18,645 We vets have to be careful. When I'm on duty, I don't drink. 457 00:34:18,817 --> 00:34:19,838 Sorry. 458 00:34:19,962 --> 00:34:22,524 But it's just a little cocktail. 459 00:34:23,540 --> 00:34:26,360 - Where are the patients, please? - Here. 460 00:34:26,482 --> 00:34:31,080 Tristan and Isolde are never sick, but today they're so stiff. 461 00:34:31,174 --> 00:34:33,334 I hope you can do something. 462 00:34:33,466 --> 00:34:37,312 My darlings, the vet will make you better. 463 00:34:42,859 --> 00:34:48,484 - There's ice under their shells. - They've caught a cold! Is it serious? 464 00:34:48,684 --> 00:34:52,160 Being frozen is one thing, a cold is another. 465 00:34:52,572 --> 00:34:58,625 They're both symptoms that, let's say... complement each other. 466 00:34:58,814 --> 00:35:03,215 I need to think about this, work out why it's happened. 467 00:35:03,501 --> 00:35:06,400 I'm in no rush, I'm as patient as someone from the Orient. 468 00:35:06,502 --> 00:35:11,982 Beneath the sclera, the numerous bony plates, 469 00:35:12,215 --> 00:35:15,932 under the third eyelid... Tortoises have three eyelids. 470 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,849 Really? Would you like a bite to eat? 471 00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:22,793 Maybe my mama has left me something in the fridge. 472 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:27,440 Ah, I see! Do you have the habit of leaving your fridge open? 473 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,280 I have no habits. But I have many flaws. 474 00:35:30,425 --> 00:35:33,145 They just needed some warmth, now they're fine. 475 00:35:33,349 --> 00:35:38,829 Be careful, keep your fridge closed and your tortoises will be fine. 476 00:35:39,077 --> 00:35:42,935 - Thank you! - Have we met before? 477 00:35:43,055 --> 00:35:45,575 Perhaps, maybe in Monte Carlo. 478 00:35:45,767 --> 00:35:47,925 No, I only met Russians there. 479 00:35:48,175 --> 00:35:49,575 - In Biarritz. - Where? 480 00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:50,640 Biarritz. 481 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,640 What district is that in? 482 00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:55,724 No, I never stray very far from Piazza Bologna. 483 00:35:56,045 --> 00:35:58,120 I know! Your Vespa (wasp). 484 00:35:58,493 --> 00:36:01,280 No, I haven't treated wasps recently. 485 00:36:01,434 --> 00:36:05,554 I meant the moped you were on the other day. 486 00:36:05,984 --> 00:36:07,590 The moped. 487 00:36:09,104 --> 00:36:12,104 Now I remember! I crashed into you! 488 00:36:12,895 --> 00:36:17,807 - Actually, my name's Eva Bolavsky. - But the doorbell says "Cangiullo." 489 00:36:17,945 --> 00:36:20,505 My mother's Polish. 490 00:36:20,714 --> 00:36:22,867 Weren't you blonde when I ran into you? 491 00:36:23,002 --> 00:36:25,402 You remember me being blonde? 492 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,829 Men have the most extraordinary imagination! 493 00:36:30,002 --> 00:36:32,858 You know... I'm a writer. 494 00:36:33,215 --> 00:36:37,015 - Ah! That's why you're so... - So... what? 495 00:36:37,190 --> 00:36:38,537 Strange. You're strange. 496 00:36:38,649 --> 00:36:42,040 Perhaps. I have a letters page in the newspaper. 497 00:36:42,295 --> 00:36:45,133 People write sweet things, bizarre things! 498 00:36:45,251 --> 00:36:50,531 For example, one asks me whether I believe in thunderbolts. 499 00:36:50,905 --> 00:36:53,102 Do you believe in thunderbolts? 500 00:36:53,215 --> 00:36:55,935 Sure, that's what happened to the cows in Fara Sabina. 501 00:36:56,063 --> 00:36:59,223 They're very dangerous. I have to go, the cows are waiting. 502 00:36:59,369 --> 00:37:04,200 First tell me what kind of cows they are. 503 00:37:05,544 --> 00:37:07,744 - Swiss? - Dunno! 504 00:37:08,458 --> 00:37:13,680 Someone else asked me: "How does a gentleman behave when he dances?" 505 00:37:14,031 --> 00:37:16,135 Help me answer that. 506 00:37:16,271 --> 00:37:22,329 - How do you behave when you dance? - When I dance... I dance. 507 00:37:23,380 --> 00:37:25,197 Let's dance. 508 00:37:39,425 --> 00:37:42,865 - What are you saying? - It's a French song. 509 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,640 "When you're with me, life is marvellous." 510 00:37:45,954 --> 00:37:49,182 - How come? - It doesn't sound as good in Italian. 511 00:37:49,349 --> 00:37:53,189 Ours is a complicated language, full of adverbs and particles. 512 00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:57,760 Songs are a load of nonsense. Nightingales, doves... 513 00:37:58,003 --> 00:38:00,685 In songs, animals always act stupid. 514 00:38:00,929 --> 00:38:03,238 Who are they trying to fool? Ignorant people! 515 00:38:03,337 --> 00:38:05,657 For example, nightingales don't tweet. 516 00:38:09,043 --> 00:38:10,523 There's someone at the door. 517 00:38:10,563 --> 00:38:14,123 Really? It must be the milk boy. The boy from the dairy. 518 00:38:14,375 --> 00:38:17,040 Talking of milk, the cows! I'm running late. 519 00:38:17,233 --> 00:38:22,162 Please, don't go, I don't want anyone seeing you at this time, we're alone. 520 00:38:28,197 --> 00:38:31,920 - Please, call Miss Cangiullo. - That's me. 521 00:38:32,259 --> 00:38:34,170 - But you look different! - What happened? 522 00:38:34,215 --> 00:38:36,695 This is the consequence of your damn column! 523 00:38:36,763 --> 00:38:38,483 But this time you'll be in trouble. 524 00:38:38,615 --> 00:38:42,455 - Incitement to suicide. - Oh, a maid! Who is she? 525 00:38:42,598 --> 00:38:44,542 Someone who tried to commit suicide. 526 00:38:44,634 --> 00:38:48,754 They brought her to our offices. Her ID says she's from Vigevano. 527 00:38:49,135 --> 00:38:53,055 She kept repeating your name: Lady Eva. 528 00:38:53,135 --> 00:38:55,810 No, I don't know any maids from Vigevano. 529 00:38:56,006 --> 00:38:57,926 She's fainted again! Do something! 530 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,400 But I've seen her before! 531 00:39:03,657 --> 00:39:06,160 - Is it serious? - She's in shock. 532 00:39:06,335 --> 00:39:09,326 - What should we do? - "We"? What should you do! 533 00:39:09,415 --> 00:39:14,335 You keep her. We can't let the police think that we incited her to do it. 534 00:39:14,537 --> 00:39:18,577 Your column is to blame. Goodbye and all the best! 535 00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:22,120 Wait, don't go! Poor girl! 536 00:39:22,269 --> 00:39:24,795 Why did the silly thing have to show up now? Doctor! 537 00:39:24,876 --> 00:39:28,836 - Who's she? - My protégé, she attempted suicide. 538 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:33,520 - She did what? - Doctor, do something, I'm scared. 539 00:39:33,666 --> 00:39:36,713 I'm a weak woman, I'm trembling. 540 00:39:36,849 --> 00:39:39,129 - Doctor, please! - This is a new case for me. 541 00:39:39,232 --> 00:39:41,869 Do something, after all... you're a doctor. 542 00:39:41,969 --> 00:39:45,741 I'm scared. Lay her on the bed. If she dies here, I'm ruined. 543 00:39:45,988 --> 00:39:48,988 I've never treated humans. 544 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,400 Check if she's breathing, if there's a heartbeat, she's okay. 545 00:39:52,516 --> 00:39:55,396 - Don't undress her here. - But you're a doctor. 546 00:39:55,516 --> 00:39:57,876 I'm a vet. I'm not used to this. 547 00:39:58,034 --> 00:40:03,689 Imagine she's a cat. I'll get you some hot water, okay? 548 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:10,101 A cat! 549 00:40:15,354 --> 00:40:17,554 To bring her round cold water is better. 550 00:40:17,660 --> 00:40:20,340 Hot water is used for labour. 551 00:40:20,552 --> 00:40:23,278 - How's her heart? - Round. 552 00:40:23,375 --> 00:40:25,975 - What do you mean by "round"? - Well, it's beating. 553 00:40:26,996 --> 00:40:29,042 She's waking up. 554 00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:33,716 - Where am I? - Stay calm, you're at Lady Eva's. 555 00:40:34,137 --> 00:40:36,420 - Lady Eva! - Yes. 556 00:40:36,775 --> 00:40:39,901 Is he Prince Poliakov? 557 00:40:40,100 --> 00:40:43,815 - Who is Poliakov? - One of my characters. 558 00:40:44,191 --> 00:40:45,656 I'm Isabella. 559 00:40:46,151 --> 00:40:47,644 They all fall in love with him. 560 00:40:47,773 --> 00:40:48,773 Here. 561 00:40:49,662 --> 00:40:52,618 Marco, you look like him. 562 00:40:54,613 --> 00:40:58,095 Hello? May I come in? 563 00:40:58,215 --> 00:41:01,247 Is anyone home in this house of advice? 564 00:41:01,401 --> 00:41:05,361 I can't hear anyone, but I'll come in anyway. 565 00:41:05,940 --> 00:41:07,620 How lovely! 566 00:41:07,859 --> 00:41:09,459 Very charming! 567 00:41:09,691 --> 00:41:13,495 Bazaar-style, very Casablanca. How novel! 568 00:41:13,680 --> 00:41:17,488 How much correspondence! Typical Lady Eva surroundings. 569 00:41:17,695 --> 00:41:21,935 How much correspondence! An animal on the lamp, how original! 570 00:41:22,177 --> 00:41:26,337 Is anyone home? There's a solitary baron here! 571 00:41:26,525 --> 00:41:29,285 Don't shock me with a sudden appearance. 572 00:41:29,473 --> 00:41:31,463 Is anyone home? 573 00:41:31,574 --> 00:41:36,073 - The thermometer... - May I? You're Lady Eva, right? 574 00:41:37,916 --> 00:41:42,916 Let me rejoice at the sight of your very original page boy hairstyle. 575 00:41:43,152 --> 00:41:47,512 - You're dressed like Henry VIII. - Sorry? "Henry the Steak"? 576 00:41:47,757 --> 00:41:51,652 - Very amusing! - Who are you? 577 00:41:52,692 --> 00:41:55,170 - I'm the kind soul. - I don't know you. 578 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:59,910 Maybe you don't know, but because of your amusing answers, 579 00:42:00,050 --> 00:42:02,450 my friends and I in Capri talk about you all the time. 580 00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:04,760 "Lady Eva! Lady Eva!" 581 00:42:04,941 --> 00:42:09,988 I went to your workplace and they gave me your address. 582 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,920 They said: "Go bother her at home". 583 00:42:13,050 --> 00:42:16,210 - They're rather uncouth. - I know. 584 00:42:16,373 --> 00:42:19,533 But what do we care? This is great fun all the same. 585 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:24,077 May I? I'm Baron Rodolfo Vanzino Castelfusano d'Arezzo. 586 00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:29,424 Pleased to meet you. Eva Bolavsky, Baroness Baravich. 587 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,440 Make yourself at home, my house is your house. 588 00:42:35,349 --> 00:42:39,589 Your noble titles are original, long and incomprehensible. 589 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:45,840 - They sound exotic. - I'm from Warsaw. Sit down. 590 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:51,680 Thanks. Instead of "sit down" you should say "be seated". 591 00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:55,100 - Would you like some tiger's milk? - Just a drop. 592 00:42:55,255 --> 00:42:59,580 I read in your column about a poor elderly lady. 593 00:42:59,725 --> 00:43:03,200 A sad, lonely, abandoned lady, a millionaire, I believe. 594 00:43:03,339 --> 00:43:08,419 Ah, "Abandoned ninety-year-old"! You had me worried! 595 00:43:10,128 --> 00:43:11,985 It's horrid! 596 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,754 But it's great fun! Revolting. 597 00:43:14,885 --> 00:43:19,302 I thought your answer was very original too. 598 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,669 "Madam, you say you're a millionaire. May your case be an example" 599 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,872 "to all those who think that money brings happiness." 600 00:43:27,015 --> 00:43:29,415 Money brings happiness?! 601 00:43:29,962 --> 00:43:32,960 No, a kind soul does! And I'm a kind soul. 602 00:43:33,114 --> 00:43:35,570 I'm interested in this lady's case. 603 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:41,680 Who do you think raised me? My father? 604 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:44,549 He's a madman who squandered his assets. 605 00:43:44,652 --> 00:43:49,129 My mother died of a broken heart. So who do you think raised me? 606 00:43:49,192 --> 00:43:50,872 - Maybe a Schwester. - Who? 607 00:43:51,055 --> 00:43:52,135 A Schwester. 608 00:43:52,220 --> 00:43:57,167 No, an old lady! My grandma! That's why I'm a fan of old ladies. 609 00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:01,120 I can always hear the voice of an old lady in my head. 610 00:44:01,349 --> 00:44:06,169 I own a big villa and I transformed it into a rest home. 611 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,101 I call it "Bliss House, A return to childhood". 612 00:44:10,241 --> 00:44:13,070 I'd like to contact that old lady. 613 00:44:13,203 --> 00:44:18,443 I don't usually put my readers in contact with each other. 614 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,542 - I just act as a go-between. - I see. 615 00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:27,240 - But your name inspires confidence. - Of course, Castelfusano d'Arezzo! 616 00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:33,061 I could tell my reader to visit Bliss House. 617 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:35,880 Good idea, Lady Eva! 618 00:44:36,056 --> 00:44:37,576 You send the old lady to me, 619 00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:43,520 she'll be happy to see that blissful paradise for the elderly! 620 00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:46,004 You send her to me. 621 00:44:46,771 --> 00:44:47,891 When will that be? 622 00:44:57,343 --> 00:45:02,254 This outing in the car is not good for you, Madame Virginia. 623 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:06,768 - I'm still wondering why I allowed it. - Because I'm paying you! 624 00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:11,880 Lady Eva has found a kind soul. I must go and see for myself. 625 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,800 BLISS HOUSE A RETURN TO CHILDHOOD 626 00:45:15,822 --> 00:45:18,335 No, I don't want to! 627 00:45:18,415 --> 00:45:20,255 - Come on. - No! 628 00:45:20,335 --> 00:45:21,975 I don't want to! 629 00:45:22,043 --> 00:45:27,083 - Come here, my dear. - No! I don't want to! 630 00:45:29,040 --> 00:45:30,320 I don't want to! 631 00:45:30,454 --> 00:45:33,254 - Cesarina, be a good girl. - No! 632 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,800 - What's behind your back? - Nothing, sir. 633 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:40,720 - You've a crafty look, show me! - It's nothing. 634 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,720 - Nothing? What's this then? - Bread. 635 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,688 - Why are you stealing bread? - Because my ration's not enough. 636 00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:51,475 To pay for my boarding costs I use up all the pension 637 00:45:51,642 --> 00:45:55,002 I received from my late uncle, the explorer, who died in Abyssinia! 638 00:45:55,114 --> 00:45:58,754 - Good girl! - No! No! 639 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:03,320 Did you hear that? Her ration's not enough! 640 00:46:03,492 --> 00:46:06,412 - Is yours not enough too? - No! 641 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,560 Who said "no"? 642 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:11,622 Who said it? 643 00:46:12,525 --> 00:46:16,370 Shut up you, you're not an old lady, you're a man! 644 00:46:16,674 --> 00:46:21,440 Cesarina, let's go into the games room with the bread. 645 00:46:21,627 --> 00:46:24,587 - Come on. - No! Not into the games room! 646 00:46:24,843 --> 00:46:28,123 - Yes, Cesarina. - What'll they do to her? 647 00:46:28,251 --> 00:46:33,691 The other day they took Floridiana into the recreation room 648 00:46:33,940 --> 00:46:37,760 and gave her scalp a treatment. 649 00:46:37,924 --> 00:46:39,520 - Did they shave her head? - Yes. 650 00:46:41,149 --> 00:46:42,989 We're here at last. 651 00:46:43,161 --> 00:46:46,081 How did the lottery ticket selling go? 652 00:46:46,179 --> 00:46:49,443 Badly. The fireman's lottery ruined things for us. 653 00:46:49,546 --> 00:46:52,786 - But we made 2,000 lire. - I put it under my hat. 654 00:46:52,940 --> 00:46:55,900 Go into the loft and put it under the brick 655 00:46:56,095 --> 00:46:57,959 before the manager comes. 656 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,242 Let's hope he doesn't notice. 657 00:47:00,476 --> 00:47:03,908 Hurry, let's be quick. 658 00:47:04,123 --> 00:47:07,664 - My knee hurts. - Not your knee again! 659 00:47:10,014 --> 00:47:11,352 Stop! 660 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:18,523 Good morning, Serafina and Veronica! Come on up. 661 00:47:18,895 --> 00:47:23,335 Come on up, my dears. Was the wrinklies' lottery a success? 662 00:47:23,412 --> 00:47:26,040 - Yes. - Let me see. 663 00:47:26,413 --> 00:47:32,360 What's under your hat? Did you hide the takings? 664 00:47:32,620 --> 00:47:37,629 Those who hide the takings under their hat will pay with their soul. 665 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:40,172 Sir. 666 00:47:43,937 --> 00:47:45,577 - What is it? - They've arrived. 667 00:47:45,792 --> 00:47:47,529 - All of them? - Yes. 668 00:47:54,135 --> 00:47:57,832 Twelve coats and 24 dresses! I've waited two years. 669 00:47:57,922 --> 00:48:02,138 - The grocery bills must be paid first. - Why? 670 00:48:02,246 --> 00:48:05,350 I'm the grocer for this rest home 671 00:48:05,492 --> 00:48:10,115 and I'm owed a million lire! - I'm owed five million! 672 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:13,200 - Five? - Yes, five! 673 00:48:13,431 --> 00:48:17,760 My dear friends! I must hurry, I need to get changed. 674 00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,680 I wanted to call you to organize a nice dinner all together. 675 00:48:21,869 --> 00:48:23,589 - Do you know each other? - Yes. 676 00:48:23,705 --> 00:48:26,585 He's a fantastic tailor. Let him dress you. 677 00:48:26,674 --> 00:48:29,551 How's your wife? Is she still fat? She's great fun! 678 00:48:29,676 --> 00:48:32,076 Does your son still work in the shop? 679 00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:35,520 You owe me five million! I want it here, right away! 680 00:48:35,697 --> 00:48:38,297 Do I look like someone who'd get ripped off for five million? 681 00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:40,200 - You got ripped off for five million? - Yes. 682 00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:41,280 - By who? - By you! 683 00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:42,600 - You don't say! - I do. 684 00:48:42,693 --> 00:48:44,853 - Well, I never! - Are you taking the mickey? 685 00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,160 No, I'm fond of you. 686 00:48:46,314 --> 00:48:50,914 - You owe us too! - But he's first in line. 687 00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:51,920 Why? 688 00:48:52,014 --> 00:48:56,374 - We grew up together. - You know what I'll do? 689 00:48:56,493 --> 00:49:00,493 I'll tell the cops about that appliance you sold me. 690 00:49:00,657 --> 00:49:02,207 - The one you put in the bar? - Yes. 691 00:49:02,238 --> 00:49:05,198 But that was from Sweden! The Swedes don't play tricks, do they? 692 00:49:05,232 --> 00:49:08,592 No. But you tricked me. The cops came and took it away. 693 00:49:08,778 --> 00:49:10,903 Of course, the ball was rolling backwards! 694 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:14,960 - How will I get my five million back? - Good question, how? 695 00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:17,128 - You own a villa. - And the furniture. 696 00:49:17,168 --> 00:49:18,168 And the paintings! 697 00:49:18,252 --> 00:49:22,024 It's all been seized! 698 00:49:22,179 --> 00:49:26,339 - What about the old ladies' rest home? - Don't remind me! 699 00:49:26,481 --> 00:49:29,921 They don't make me a profit anymore! 700 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:31,438 I've got 20 old ladies. 701 00:49:31,532 --> 00:49:33,413 20,000 lire each... plus all the expenses! 702 00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,321 They're half bonkers. I give them mushy food, withered greens... 703 00:49:36,444 --> 00:49:41,044 Goddammit! There's no profit to be had with the old ladies! 704 00:49:42,822 --> 00:49:44,898 - Do you want them? - Are you kidding? 705 00:49:45,010 --> 00:49:48,066 - You can have the lot of them. - What'll we do with them? 706 00:49:48,323 --> 00:49:50,203 - Make soap. - Are you nuts? 707 00:49:50,410 --> 00:49:52,930 They're not all the same, you know! 708 00:49:53,098 --> 00:49:55,658 I have a new old lady arriving. 709 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,720 Lady Eva put me in touch with her, through her letters page. 710 00:49:58,891 --> 00:50:02,171 - She's an old billionaire! - A billionaire? 711 00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:07,918 - Sir, the Countess is here. - She's here! 712 00:50:08,372 --> 00:50:10,172 There she is! 713 00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,080 Let's get out. 714 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,260 - Nice. - Is it here? 715 00:50:19,735 --> 00:50:22,211 - Wow, she's old! - Where's the money? 716 00:50:22,299 --> 00:50:23,459 Don't worry about that. 717 00:50:23,662 --> 00:50:28,662 Let her come in. Once she's here... she won't be going anywhere! 718 00:50:29,323 --> 00:50:33,603 - Let me help you. - Leave me alone, I can manage! 719 00:50:33,701 --> 00:50:38,941 It was a terrible idea to let you go out after all this time. 720 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,715 - Leave me alone, stop bothering me! - Madame Virginia! 721 00:50:44,815 --> 00:50:46,815 Let's look for the director. 722 00:50:47,636 --> 00:50:52,596 Doctor, it looks like an antique print. 723 00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:55,640 Let's continue with the story. 724 00:50:56,161 --> 00:51:03,051 "The seventh dwarf ran over to look in his bed and who did he find?" 725 00:51:03,269 --> 00:51:05,003 "Snow White!" 726 00:51:05,127 --> 00:51:10,699 "So he called the other dwarves to come and have a look". 727 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,442 "Oh, what a beautiful girl!" 728 00:51:13,532 --> 00:51:16,652 Dear ladies, have you finished your sweeties? 729 00:51:16,890 --> 00:51:21,050 Here you are! Have more sweets, you greedy girls! 730 00:51:21,398 --> 00:51:24,744 When you've finished them, ask for more. 731 00:51:25,735 --> 00:51:31,147 What do my eyes see? Our new boarder! 732 00:51:31,414 --> 00:51:33,603 Madame Virginia, welcome! 733 00:51:33,718 --> 00:51:38,278 Dear ladies, a round of applause for our dear beloved Countess! 734 00:51:41,633 --> 00:51:46,833 Welcome, Bliss House welcomes you warmly with open arms. 735 00:51:46,939 --> 00:51:50,299 - It's the kind soul! - I am the Good Samaritan. 736 00:51:50,388 --> 00:51:52,708 - Ask and you shall receive. - Let me introduce... 737 00:51:52,793 --> 00:51:54,113 - A relative? - No. 738 00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:57,600 - I'm the lady's doctor. - I see! 739 00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:02,480 You won't need a doctor here. This is a happy place, no doctors! 740 00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,320 What do you mean? 741 00:52:06,669 --> 00:52:12,069 I need the old lady, not the doctor. She will resolve all my problems. 742 00:52:13,487 --> 00:52:18,967 I'll let you listen to a choir I made great sacrifices to create! 743 00:52:19,131 --> 00:52:21,120 Okay, Joe! 744 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:23,120 I'm English. 745 00:52:23,367 --> 00:52:24,836 What's his problem? 746 00:53:57,749 --> 00:53:59,469 Did you like it, Countess? 747 00:53:59,537 --> 00:54:03,277 This is an example of our blissful atmosphere. 748 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,200 - Well done, old girls. - Thanks. 749 00:54:06,844 --> 00:54:10,065 - How lovely! - Did you like it, Countess? 750 00:54:10,190 --> 00:54:14,110 I'd say this happy fusion of vocal beings works. 751 00:54:14,620 --> 00:54:16,332 - Is it your work? - Yes, Countess. 752 00:54:16,447 --> 00:54:21,862 You're such a talented, intelligent and kind young man! 753 00:54:22,152 --> 00:54:25,712 I never heard my mother's voice, I was raised by an elderly lady. 754 00:54:26,001 --> 00:54:29,449 My grandma. And now I'm giving back the kindness I received. 755 00:54:29,568 --> 00:54:31,610 Oh, my dear man! No, no, really... 756 00:54:32,735 --> 00:54:37,001 Don't be sad, let's be cheerful. 757 00:54:37,165 --> 00:54:41,107 - I've decided to stay here. - Thank you, Countess. 758 00:54:41,241 --> 00:54:47,241 - I'm staying in this blissful place. - Go join your sisters! 759 00:54:47,454 --> 00:54:50,273 - She's happy. - Very happy, right? 760 00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:55,840 Sir, Madame Virginia has a very weak heart. 761 00:54:56,063 --> 00:54:58,441 - A weak heart? - Yes, very weak. 762 00:54:58,555 --> 00:55:02,669 Take note, no plum cakes, no candies... 763 00:55:05,664 --> 00:55:08,841 - No cakes. - No cakes? 764 00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:21,560 Silence! Well, what do I see? 765 00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:28,615 - A cake for our new old lady! - Hooray! 766 00:55:28,796 --> 00:55:35,436 Don't rejoice, it's not for you! This cake is for our new boarder. 767 00:55:35,594 --> 00:55:37,994 - Is it all for me? - Yes, Madame Virginia. 768 00:55:38,215 --> 00:55:43,615 This sophisticated cake is made with cream, sugar and chocolate! 769 00:55:43,737 --> 00:55:47,608 - What's up? - Guess. It was a joke! 770 00:55:48,518 --> 00:55:51,558 It cost me 10,000 lire! I'll kill you! 771 00:55:51,704 --> 00:55:53,884 No! I'll be good! 772 00:56:00,882 --> 00:56:03,562 Aren't the others eating? 773 00:56:03,728 --> 00:56:09,000 Of course! Healthy, wholesome food, bowlfuls of mushy food! 774 00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:15,048 They must avoid sugary foods, that's why they're so sprightly! 775 00:56:18,668 --> 00:56:20,525 Don't do that! 776 00:56:21,093 --> 00:56:24,533 When the other countess arrived, Floridiana tried to do the same thing, 777 00:56:24,560 --> 00:56:27,120 she reached out her arm to get some cake, 778 00:56:27,240 --> 00:56:29,509 but he broke it. 779 00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,200 What else did I do? Do you remember? 780 00:56:33,594 --> 00:56:36,895 - Yes, now I do. - Tell her. 781 00:56:37,079 --> 00:56:39,995 - He also broke six ribs of hers! - How awful! 782 00:56:40,134 --> 00:56:41,537 The television! 783 00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:46,520 Hurry, my beloved benefactor Lady Eva is on. 784 00:56:46,697 --> 00:56:48,560 RAI TV. 785 00:56:48,758 --> 00:56:51,598 That brings us to the end of our Eurovision broadcast. 786 00:56:53,016 --> 00:56:54,365 From the Rome Opera House, 787 00:56:54,497 --> 00:56:57,443 we saw a live broadcast of Act I of "Aida." 788 00:57:00,256 --> 00:57:04,880 And now for our most popular weekly programme: 789 00:57:05,247 --> 00:57:07,280 "Share your secret with Lady Eva." 790 00:57:07,700 --> 00:57:10,620 This programme is linked to the letters page 791 00:57:10,697 --> 00:57:14,505 of a well-known weekly publication: "Adam and Eve." 792 00:57:14,776 --> 00:57:18,455 The programme is linked to the competition run by the weekly journal, 793 00:57:18,590 --> 00:57:21,059 the modern woman's periodical... 794 00:57:21,208 --> 00:57:24,928 You should've worn a flower, it would've brightened you up. 795 00:57:25,059 --> 00:57:29,563 No, I'm a lady by way of my fourth husband. I should have diamonds. 796 00:57:29,736 --> 00:57:34,179 - Will Mr Cappelli be listening? - Yes, by chance. 797 00:57:34,311 --> 00:57:39,083 This programme will make him realise we're made for each other. 798 00:57:39,752 --> 00:57:42,440 Lady Eva left a week ago to go on a long trip, 799 00:57:42,833 --> 00:57:44,833 but she's so fond of her viewers 800 00:57:44,969 --> 00:57:47,375 that she insisted on doing the programme all the same. 801 00:57:47,678 --> 00:57:49,520 She'll be joining us from Warsaw. 802 00:57:49,926 --> 00:57:54,735 Lady Eva Bolavsky will be speaking from her castle. Over to you, Warsaw. 803 00:57:57,175 --> 00:58:00,811 My dear ladies and gentlemen, good evening. 804 00:58:01,175 --> 00:58:05,756 I'm here in my castle in Warsaw. 805 00:58:06,350 --> 00:58:10,360 I've received so many of your delightful letters this week. 806 00:58:11,285 --> 00:58:14,365 Unfortunately a week goes by too quickly. 807 00:58:14,544 --> 00:58:19,840 It lasts an instant, as they say, like the blossoming of a rose. 808 00:58:20,878 --> 00:58:27,518 Let me tell you: if I've been the remedy for your troubles, 809 00:58:27,655 --> 00:58:32,095 you needn't thank me, but the beautiful Italian sky 810 00:58:32,215 --> 00:58:35,295 that has consoled me during my misfortunes... 811 00:58:36,996 --> 00:58:37,933 Good evening. 812 00:58:38,028 --> 00:58:40,620 Good evening, the lady of the house... 813 00:58:40,814 --> 00:58:41,758 Lady Eva. 814 00:58:41,783 --> 00:58:45,680 Yes, she told me that there was an interesting programme on tonight. 815 00:58:45,803 --> 00:58:48,971 - It's started. - I don't have a television 816 00:58:49,154 --> 00:58:54,674 and the one in the bar isn't working. So I thought that... 817 00:58:54,796 --> 00:58:58,236 You want to watch it here. Come in, I'm alone, I was ironing. 818 00:58:58,353 --> 00:59:02,376 - You're alone? - Yes, no one's here. Come with me. 819 00:59:03,411 --> 00:59:07,451 Lady Eva wants me to star on TV so I can become an actress, 820 00:59:07,594 --> 00:59:12,754 but not tonight, I have to do her ironing. 821 00:59:13,493 --> 00:59:18,772 - Lady Eva is very demanding. - No, she was so kind to take me in. 822 00:59:18,927 --> 00:59:21,559 - Do you like this programme? - Of course, why? 823 00:59:21,758 --> 00:59:26,840 - I don't wish to impose on you. - Let's listen. 824 00:59:27,491 --> 00:59:29,691 Let me reply to a reader... 825 00:59:30,251 --> 00:59:32,451 I can't find his letter, never mind. 826 00:59:32,780 --> 00:59:36,125 He calls himself: "Good morning, shyness." 827 00:59:36,751 --> 00:59:42,017 He's a shy man, his problem is one that millions of men have. 828 00:59:42,374 --> 00:59:44,914 The advice I give him will be useful to all of them. 829 00:59:45,308 --> 00:59:50,335 To cure his shyness, there's only one remedy: 830 00:59:50,612 --> 00:59:52,560 wear the mask of a brute. 831 00:59:53,041 --> 00:59:57,524 Listen to me, shy man, follow my advice. 832 00:59:57,990 --> 01:00:04,040 If a lady has enticed you with a sign, even with just a smile, 833 01:00:04,561 --> 01:00:05,920 do not hesitate, 834 01:00:06,375 --> 01:00:08,602 wear the mask of a brute, 835 01:00:08,766 --> 01:00:10,686 don't doubt yourself, 836 01:00:11,156 --> 01:00:12,436 and attack! 837 01:00:12,909 --> 01:00:18,349 Like in the fairy tale, the little lamb wants to be devoured by the wolf. 838 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:23,400 I hope you've found my advice useful. 839 01:00:24,206 --> 01:00:27,240 Then my dear little lambs 840 01:00:27,575 --> 01:00:31,307 will find out if their ideal life companion 841 01:00:31,332 --> 01:00:32,581 is hiding under that mask. 842 01:00:32,877 --> 01:00:35,480 PROGRAMMES ARE OVER 843 01:00:40,601 --> 01:00:42,760 The programme's over. 844 01:00:43,647 --> 01:00:45,887 Oh God, the door! It's Lady Eva! 845 01:00:45,972 --> 01:00:50,412 I'll use the servant's exit, you distract her. 846 01:00:53,203 --> 01:00:55,323 - Holy Mary! - Ssh! 847 01:00:57,857 --> 01:00:59,617 - Good evening. - Good evening. 848 01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:01,920 - You're still up? - I wasn't sleepy. 849 01:01:02,140 --> 01:01:05,000 - Did you enjoy the programme? - Very much. 850 01:01:16,180 --> 01:01:17,778 Thank goodness. 851 01:01:18,637 --> 01:01:21,775 - Aren't you going to bed? - I was checking the servant's door. 852 01:01:22,013 --> 01:01:24,804 - Let mama do that. Off you go, dear. - Goodnight. 853 01:01:25,003 --> 01:01:26,589 Goodnight. 854 01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:37,000 Do you think he watched the programme and got the message? 855 01:01:38,385 --> 01:01:42,105 Of course, but poor man, he lacks courage. 856 01:01:42,326 --> 01:01:45,880 He's one of those men who want to get married. 857 01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:51,120 Eva, what are you saying?! What about your work? And your fans? 858 01:01:51,380 --> 01:01:53,520 By the way, Borgiani called... 859 01:01:53,640 --> 01:01:57,995 Not him, with his letters... the cooks, the pensioners, the maids! 860 01:01:58,156 --> 01:02:02,476 I'm sick of other people's business, I want to focus on mine. 861 01:02:02,786 --> 01:02:07,335 Like I wrote to "Lonely Pine" a few weeks ago, 862 01:02:07,771 --> 01:02:10,691 the only thing a woman wants is love. 863 01:02:10,972 --> 01:02:14,560 He earns 40,000 lire a month, he's a vet. 864 01:02:14,948 --> 01:02:17,326 I know, but alongside me, he could become someone. 865 01:02:17,406 --> 01:02:19,566 Along the lines of Voronoff, or Hauser... 866 01:02:20,148 --> 01:02:22,656 I've already thought of an interesting idea: 867 01:02:22,897 --> 01:02:25,182 An Animals Beauty Institute. 868 01:02:25,332 --> 01:02:28,132 - What? - A beauty parlour for animals. 869 01:02:28,490 --> 01:02:31,076 Where will you get the money? 870 01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:35,360 I know someone... Madame Virginia. 871 01:02:36,678 --> 01:02:42,092 Your idea for an institute for dogs is delightful! 872 01:02:42,255 --> 01:02:45,335 I have the whole project in mind. 873 01:02:45,712 --> 01:02:48,720 I could promote it through my television programme. 874 01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:49,840 Fantastic. 875 01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:53,707 For the administrative side of things, my mama will be perfect. 876 01:02:53,811 --> 01:02:59,627 Your mama? Madame Virginia, I'm good at administration too. 877 01:02:59,834 --> 01:03:04,540 - Your mama could give me a hand. - I have the perfect manager for you. 878 01:03:04,682 --> 01:03:08,290 - A great professor and vet. - Who? 879 01:03:08,537 --> 01:03:11,977 He's very good, he spent a long time in Paris. 880 01:03:12,114 --> 01:03:16,111 Paris! What a great city, Paris! So many people! 881 01:03:16,429 --> 01:03:18,869 There's the hunchback of Notre-Dame! 882 01:03:19,501 --> 01:03:25,741 Madame Virginia, I need to ask you for a little financial backing. 883 01:03:26,185 --> 01:03:28,625 - We could build the institute. - Of course. 884 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:30,200 It needs to be elegant. 885 01:03:30,346 --> 01:03:34,746 You naughty thing! Madame Virginia is a naughty little thing! 886 01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,000 Always ready to spend her money! 887 01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:41,165 But you can't touch Madame Virginia's capital. Naughty little girl! 888 01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:44,204 I have the perfect place. 889 01:03:44,373 --> 01:03:49,195 My crazy father used to house his cattle there. The barn! 890 01:03:49,556 --> 01:03:51,756 What do you think of the barn? 891 01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:53,800 Look how big it is. 892 01:03:54,066 --> 01:03:57,426 Here we could have a stage for the animals to parade on. 893 01:03:57,528 --> 01:03:58,600 A stage? 894 01:03:58,653 --> 01:04:01,013 - I don't like the flooring. - It's a barn! 895 01:04:01,173 --> 01:04:06,653 We could put a carpet down. A nice one, maybe a Persian one. 896 01:04:06,859 --> 01:04:07,806 A Persian one. 897 01:04:07,875 --> 01:04:11,287 Some nice porcelain sets for when we hold receptions. 898 01:04:11,438 --> 01:04:16,158 It's important that we have sophisticated ware for the ladies. 899 01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:22,094 My dear, what an original transformation you have in mind! 900 01:04:22,329 --> 01:04:25,489 If you don't mind me asking though, Lady Eva... 901 01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:27,598 Who'll pay for all this? 902 01:04:27,771 --> 01:04:33,856 Madame Virginia will be happy to sign a few cheques. 903 01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:37,077 After all, she has no children, she has no one. 904 01:04:37,210 --> 01:04:40,922 No! There is someone who has Madame Virginia's interests at heart! 905 01:04:41,101 --> 01:04:43,861 - Yes, Baron, that's true, but... - I'll give you the barn! 906 01:04:43,946 --> 01:04:46,826 I'll kindly allow you to use it, 907 01:04:47,019 --> 01:04:50,127 but you mustn't ask Madame Virginia to sign anything. 908 01:04:50,228 --> 01:04:52,788 You mustn't trouble her with these things. 909 01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:56,120 She wants to fleece the old lady? I'll do the fleecing! 910 01:04:56,760 --> 01:04:58,320 Here. 911 01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,075 I leave... 912 01:05:01,698 --> 01:05:04,893 all my assets... 913 01:05:05,884 --> 01:05:08,929 to Bliss House... 914 01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:10,640 That's what it is. 915 01:05:11,000 --> 01:05:13,851 - Under the name... - Under the name... 916 01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:19,111 of its founder and benefactor... 917 01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:26,629 Baron Rodolfo Vanzino Castelfusano D'Arezzo. 918 01:05:27,116 --> 01:05:30,036 - There, a nice clear signature. - Yes. 919 01:05:30,962 --> 01:05:38,973 Madame Virginia Lacchi di Portello. 920 01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:46,120 - Well done! - Now I deserve a chocolate. 921 01:05:46,891 --> 01:05:51,299 - No chocolates. - How will you amuse me? 922 01:05:51,469 --> 01:05:55,258 Don't worry, leave that to me. Off you go to your room. 923 01:05:59,485 --> 01:06:01,760 How wonderful! 924 01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:05,223 Again! Higher! Higher! 925 01:06:05,906 --> 01:06:09,586 How marvellous! This is great! 926 01:06:10,093 --> 01:06:12,493 - Higher! - You fell for it, poor old girl! 927 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,600 Again! 928 01:06:15,186 --> 01:06:16,866 You're having fun now! 929 01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:21,360 - Are you scared of heights? - No! 930 01:06:26,012 --> 01:06:30,989 What does she want? If she sees the old lady like this, she'll know. 931 01:06:34,460 --> 01:06:37,161 Old girl, are you dead? Have you passed out? 932 01:06:37,269 --> 01:06:40,709 Passed out? I've never had so much fun! 933 01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:45,760 - You stifled a cry. - I was laughing! 934 01:06:47,079 --> 01:06:48,079 You were laughing. 935 01:06:48,160 --> 01:06:51,640 Good morning, Madame Virginia. Baron... 936 01:06:51,905 --> 01:06:55,865 My dear, I'm so pleased to see you. Perfect timing, as always. 937 01:06:56,200 --> 01:07:00,538 - Isn't her lampshade dress lovely! - It's all the rage. 938 01:07:00,685 --> 01:07:07,081 - How are the mutts? - I'm tired, but I have a great idea. 939 01:07:07,187 --> 01:07:09,787 - Please excuse me. - Baron, you must stay. 940 01:07:09,960 --> 01:07:11,000 Of course. 941 01:07:11,163 --> 01:07:16,143 We're a big family. You collaborated so unselfishly. 942 01:07:16,295 --> 01:07:21,535 I'd like to stay, but I can see nice benefactors gesticulating. 943 01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:25,570 I know what they want! Villains! 944 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:27,960 - What a dear man. - He's so elegant! 945 01:07:28,322 --> 01:07:31,562 I could see you gesticulating from over there! 946 01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:35,080 I called you because she signed the testament. 947 01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:38,920 - What use is that to us? - It's all in my favour... our favour. 948 01:07:39,008 --> 01:07:41,308 - We're rich! - So you'll pay us our money? 949 01:07:41,389 --> 01:07:43,461 - When the old lady dies. - When will that be? 950 01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:44,720 I've got a plan. 951 01:07:44,975 --> 01:07:47,940 Fainting first, followed by a fracture then a push of the swing. 952 01:07:48,040 --> 01:07:50,760 The old lady's coming, with her friend who's all made up. 953 01:07:50,842 --> 01:07:55,402 My benefactors and I were admiring this lampshade. 954 01:07:55,640 --> 01:08:01,680 Madame Virginia has been very generous. She's given me two million liras. 955 01:08:01,812 --> 01:08:04,780 If it's not enough, I'll gladly give you more. 956 01:08:04,865 --> 01:08:06,545 How kind of you! Thank you. 957 01:08:06,680 --> 01:08:10,360 - We'll even have a washer racoon. - I don't know what that is. 958 01:08:10,669 --> 01:08:16,551 It's a little raccoon, if you give it a cloth, it'll wash things. 959 01:08:16,723 --> 01:08:17,923 How sweet! 960 01:08:18,043 --> 01:08:21,447 - What's a washer raccoon? - Don't you know? 961 01:08:21,557 --> 01:08:24,190 - It washes whatever you give it. - Really? 962 01:08:24,272 --> 01:08:27,872 - She gave her two million for one? - See what I mean? 963 01:08:28,010 --> 01:08:29,910 They've founded an institute for animals 964 01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:33,680 and to get the testament I had to give her my father's barn. 965 01:08:33,979 --> 01:08:37,723 If the animals eat all the money, what will we get? 966 01:08:37,821 --> 01:08:39,821 We'll never get anything! 967 01:08:43,064 --> 01:08:44,384 What does he want? 968 01:08:45,364 --> 01:08:49,324 I'll give you 48 hours and then I'll sing. 969 01:08:49,879 --> 01:08:51,485 - That'll be the end then. - The end? 970 01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:54,600 - The end of the old lady. - I don't care. 971 01:08:59,429 --> 01:09:02,899 - You smoke. These are American. - They're nice. 972 01:09:03,093 --> 01:09:06,053 I've not smoked for 30 years, I'm so happy. 973 01:09:06,148 --> 01:09:10,668 These are strong, they're good for the heart. They're strong! 974 01:09:10,805 --> 01:09:12,805 You think these are strong? 975 01:09:13,172 --> 01:09:17,873 They're not as strong as the cigars my poor husband made me smoke! 976 01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:19,960 How are you feeling? 977 01:09:20,244 --> 01:09:23,117 Great. I feel great! 978 01:09:23,410 --> 01:09:27,170 - Shall we get rid of your medicines? - Yes, get rid of the lot! 979 01:09:27,364 --> 01:09:29,983 - All of them, no more injections... - No. 980 01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,720 - The pill for your seizures? - No. 981 01:09:32,827 --> 01:09:35,417 - Let's chuck the lot. - Yes, you do that. 982 01:09:36,007 --> 01:09:38,047 The whole lot. 983 01:09:39,196 --> 01:09:43,676 You see, god bless your dear husband. These are strong. 984 01:09:44,006 --> 01:09:46,886 Her eyes are closed, they won't open. 985 01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:48,392 Oh God. 986 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:50,269 - I fell asleep! - Really? 987 01:09:50,480 --> 01:09:53,655 - I had a nice dream! - What did you dream about? 988 01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:58,255 That you and I lived together for another 100 years! 989 01:09:58,422 --> 01:10:00,095 Another 100 years? 990 01:10:01,610 --> 01:10:03,985 - Are you sweating? - Yes. 991 01:10:04,176 --> 01:10:07,856 - Have you started sweating? - Yes, I'm a bit hot. 992 01:10:08,007 --> 01:10:11,927 - I'll open the window. - Yes, let some air in. 993 01:10:12,241 --> 01:10:17,144 - Fresh air. Can you feel it? - It's not enough. 994 01:10:17,241 --> 01:10:21,001 - Doesn't it reach you? - My back feels hot. 995 01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:24,800 Leave it to me. There. 996 01:10:25,246 --> 01:10:27,943 Here's the airplane. Can you feel it? 997 01:10:28,245 --> 01:10:29,144 Yes. 998 01:10:29,240 --> 01:10:31,720 - Open your gown at the back. - Yes. 999 01:10:31,822 --> 01:10:35,156 - Let it reach your hump. - Yes. 1000 01:10:35,295 --> 01:10:37,153 There, that's it. 1001 01:10:40,124 --> 01:10:42,465 It's a nice, gentle breeze. 1002 01:10:43,778 --> 01:10:45,498 Now have a little sleep. 1003 01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:50,080 You'll feel like you're sleeping, but you're going to the other side. 1004 01:10:50,480 --> 01:10:53,880 Give me the cigarette or your corpse will get burnt. 1005 01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:59,120 Join your hands, so you'll look all in order. 1006 01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:02,280 Let's remove these. 1007 01:11:02,440 --> 01:11:05,800 They won't come off, I'll have to cut your fingers off. 1008 01:11:07,856 --> 01:11:11,840 My dear old girl, I had to do it. I have to think of my needs. 1009 01:11:12,007 --> 01:11:15,087 Those guys are hounding me. I'll get everything. 1010 01:11:15,756 --> 01:11:18,811 I'll see you up there. Farewell, old girl. 1011 01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:26,440 I'll let the draft in, so you'll catch your death. 1012 01:11:27,389 --> 01:11:29,389 Goddammit! 1013 01:11:30,563 --> 01:11:32,043 To me, Madame Virginia! 1014 01:11:36,883 --> 01:11:38,963 She's not on her last legs! She's playing sport! 1015 01:11:39,095 --> 01:11:40,855 She's made of steel! 1016 01:11:41,004 --> 01:11:43,960 I opened her windows last night and nearly caught my death! 1017 01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,200 Whatever. I want my money! 1018 01:11:46,352 --> 01:11:48,040 When will you give it to us? 1019 01:11:48,160 --> 01:11:50,480 Calm down, we have to clever about this. 1020 01:11:50,692 --> 01:11:54,452 Vannuccio, I've thought of a plan to make her have a seizure! 1021 01:11:54,705 --> 01:11:57,225 She won't recover from that. 1022 01:12:08,945 --> 01:12:12,265 I'm so happy! I'm glad I accepted. 1023 01:12:12,360 --> 01:12:15,200 I feel like a young girl again! 1024 01:12:15,320 --> 01:12:19,126 I feel great. Must be all this fresh air. 1025 01:12:22,126 --> 01:12:27,616 - Goodnight, sir. - Goodnight, Countess. 1026 01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:31,426 "Goodnight"? "Goodnight"? 1027 01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:39,837 Dammit, what an old bag! I'll have to officially kill her! 1028 01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:43,474 I'll sever her aorta in two! 1029 01:12:47,114 --> 01:12:50,375 "Goodnight"? Where are you, wretched old bag? 1030 01:12:50,798 --> 01:12:52,758 Where are you hiding? 1031 01:12:54,426 --> 01:12:56,426 Wretched old bag! 1032 01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:00,720 Oh God, a skeleton! 1033 01:13:01,050 --> 01:13:03,810 It's death! Holy Mary, it's death! 1034 01:13:03,916 --> 01:13:06,236 I'm scared! Death has come for me! 1035 01:13:06,377 --> 01:13:11,817 I repent with all my heart! I repent for all my sins. 1036 01:13:11,960 --> 01:13:16,392 The old girl's father has come to visit his daughter! I repent! 1037 01:13:17,167 --> 01:13:20,207 Peek-a-boo! It's me, you didn't recognise me! 1038 01:13:20,295 --> 01:13:23,510 I won three prizes at the ball with this costume 1039 01:13:23,643 --> 01:13:27,113 along with my husband, a colonel. 1040 01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:32,217 Goddamn you! Idiot! 1041 01:13:32,843 --> 01:13:36,184 I almost died! I almost had a heart attack! 1042 01:13:36,405 --> 01:13:43,120 The old bag played a prank on me! Wretched old bag! 1043 01:13:47,923 --> 01:13:52,203 Rodolfo, have you prepared my bath? 1044 01:13:53,406 --> 01:13:58,926 Yes, my dear, it's ready! You'll be done for, you old bag! 1045 01:13:59,052 --> 01:14:04,732 - Make it nice and warm, 38 degrees! - Of course, nice and warm! 1046 01:14:04,909 --> 01:14:07,029 Even a seal would freeze to death in here! 1047 01:14:07,157 --> 01:14:11,197 You may be made of steel, but I'll turn you into an icicle! 1048 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,240 I'll turn you into an ice lolly! 1049 01:14:13,400 --> 01:14:17,981 I want to feel the shower sting my skin! 1050 01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:22,320 Yes, my dear! You want to be stung? 1051 01:14:22,615 --> 01:14:26,123 I'll make sure you get stung! 1052 01:14:26,558 --> 01:14:31,444 I'd better cover it, or that old bag might see it. 1053 01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:35,280 - It's my secret trick. - Can I come? Is it ready? 1054 01:14:35,443 --> 01:14:36,563 Yes! 1055 01:14:36,800 --> 01:14:40,732 He takes good care of his Virginia, what a darling! 1056 01:14:43,080 --> 01:14:46,600 CONQUER AND PROSPER 1057 01:14:52,979 --> 01:14:57,979 - The shiver of death! - You'll be just fine with this! 1058 01:14:58,678 --> 01:15:02,465 - Go away, you old bag! - Is he delirious? 1059 01:15:02,760 --> 01:15:04,080 No. 1060 01:15:05,100 --> 01:15:07,380 Shame you can't come with me 1061 01:15:07,517 --> 01:15:11,301 to the opening of the institute. I have to go. 1062 01:15:21,196 --> 01:15:24,996 I've never seen her so happy, this place is good for her. 1063 01:15:25,138 --> 01:15:28,978 Doctor, my limb. My limb, I can't feel it! 1064 01:15:29,215 --> 01:15:31,172 - What limb? - This one. 1065 01:15:31,294 --> 01:15:34,592 Lift it up. I can see it, but I can't feel it! 1066 01:15:35,000 --> 01:15:38,040 - Farewell, limb of mine! - What happened? 1067 01:15:38,760 --> 01:15:41,640 The old bag tried to kill me! 1068 01:15:41,739 --> 01:15:45,099 She pushed me over the edge! She made me slip into the ice! 1069 01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:47,560 - What? - Wretched old bag. 1070 01:15:47,735 --> 01:15:49,015 Madame Virginia? 1071 01:15:51,286 --> 01:15:53,526 Madame Virginia wouldn't hurt a fly. 1072 01:15:53,958 --> 01:16:00,798 The treatment and hospitality she has received at your rest home 1073 01:16:01,040 --> 01:16:03,960 have had a miraculous effect. 1074 01:16:04,140 --> 01:16:07,934 Madame Virginia looks 20 years younger. 1075 01:16:09,944 --> 01:16:16,184 With your permission, I will mention your rest home 1076 01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:20,460 in my article in this month's medical journal. 1077 01:16:20,645 --> 01:16:24,325 That way the whole world will find out about your rest home. 1078 01:16:24,503 --> 01:16:28,932 - Don't mention anything! - Stay calm. 1079 01:16:29,170 --> 01:16:32,925 It's a very bad cold, 1080 01:16:33,280 --> 01:16:37,760 take plenty of aspirin and stay in bed. Lots of rest. 1081 01:16:37,880 --> 01:16:41,120 - Follow my advice! - Doctor, could I die? 1082 01:16:41,874 --> 01:16:45,514 Doctor, do you want to grass me up? Don't mention anything! 1083 01:16:45,640 --> 01:16:48,520 - See you later. - Do you want to grass me up? 1084 01:16:49,109 --> 01:16:50,269 Good evening. 1085 01:16:50,395 --> 01:16:52,875 There must be some valuables in here. 1086 01:16:52,998 --> 01:16:54,078 Look at all this stuff! 1087 01:16:54,189 --> 01:16:57,786 - Don't bother the baron! - What do you want? 1088 01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:02,552 - Take this away. - What a nice table! 1089 01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:05,720 - One moment! - What do you want? 1090 01:17:05,835 --> 01:17:10,675 - We said I'd take this floor. - Let's be reasonable. 1091 01:17:10,817 --> 01:17:13,576 - You took the first floor. - So what? 1092 01:17:13,663 --> 01:17:15,670 - Did you load up the goods? - Yes, onto the truck. 1093 01:17:15,800 --> 01:17:16,640 So? 1094 01:17:16,706 --> 01:17:19,479 - Did you clear the second floor? - Yes. 1095 01:17:19,683 --> 01:17:21,803 - So what will I get? - Right, what will he get? 1096 01:17:21,914 --> 01:17:24,930 The third floor. Let's not argue, take this. 1097 01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:28,515 A truck? Have they loaded it with my stuff? 1098 01:17:28,699 --> 01:17:31,859 - Are you taking my stuff away? - It's our stuff! 1099 01:17:32,975 --> 01:17:37,726 All my stuff's on the truck! Whose are those animals? 1100 01:17:37,880 --> 01:17:39,635 Dammit! 1101 01:17:46,278 --> 01:17:51,118 Lady Eva's dogs! It's the opening today. They're huge! 1102 01:17:55,201 --> 01:17:56,521 I've got an idea! 1103 01:17:58,135 --> 01:18:01,575 - By law we have to leave the bed. - This is good stuff! 1104 01:18:01,655 --> 01:18:07,015 So now that I've sorted things out you want to take my stuff? 1105 01:18:07,040 --> 01:18:09,640 - Will you pay up? - You said I had 48 hours. 1106 01:18:09,760 --> 01:18:13,400 - There are only two hours to go. - The old lady's signed her testament. 1107 01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:18,120 - The old lady will bury us all! - You gave her a new lease of life! 1108 01:18:18,280 --> 01:18:21,440 - I did, but now the hounds are here. - The hounds? 1109 01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:27,425 Two hounds with heads this size. I just need a little bit of tripe and... 1110 01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:30,382 Bye bye, old lady. 1111 01:18:30,571 --> 01:18:33,753 No? With those two hounds... 1112 01:18:36,196 --> 01:18:41,476 Dear ladies and gentlemen, thanks for coming along. 1113 01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:47,560 You'll be wondering why I founded this Animal's Beauty Parlour. 1114 01:18:47,933 --> 01:18:49,493 My lovely audience. 1115 01:18:49,881 --> 01:18:55,220 Before showing you round this paradise for our four-legged friends, 1116 01:18:55,376 --> 01:18:59,760 I want to answer a few questions for those readers 1117 01:18:59,840 --> 01:19:02,080 who informed me that they were coming. 1118 01:19:02,480 --> 01:19:04,840 "Wotan with a shy bladder." 1119 01:19:05,363 --> 01:19:06,443 What can I do for you? 1120 01:19:06,545 --> 01:19:10,145 I wrote to you about my dog Wotan and his shy bladder. 1121 01:19:10,290 --> 01:19:13,280 Darling! What a cute little thing. 1122 01:19:13,400 --> 01:19:16,680 - You wrote to me? - Yes, about my little griffon. 1123 01:19:16,796 --> 01:19:20,836 Oh, your little griffon. Hello, little griffon. 1124 01:19:21,295 --> 01:19:26,815 I wrote to you about the very important matter of his pee. 1125 01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:29,812 Wotan won't pee on lampposts. 1126 01:19:29,931 --> 01:19:35,012 He likes big trees, lime trees, chestnut trees, rhododendrons. 1127 01:19:35,400 --> 01:19:38,280 It's his nature. And like my cousin says... 1128 01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:49,880 - You don't find this shocking? - No. 1129 01:19:50,116 --> 01:19:55,800 In Ankara there were so many trees, so many oaks. So many cedar trees! 1130 01:19:55,946 --> 01:19:59,106 - Take him to Villa Borghese. - No, there are pine trees there. 1131 01:19:59,261 --> 01:20:04,370 - He doesn't like pine trees. - What about in your garden? 1132 01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:08,680 No, we have metal fencing. He feels like he's in prison. 1133 01:20:08,794 --> 01:20:11,739 I know him, he holds it in, and then... 1134 01:20:13,495 --> 01:20:18,775 - Put a magnolia on your terrace. - I don't have a terrace! 1135 01:20:18,918 --> 01:20:22,486 Let me show you a very interesting thing then, Your Excellency. 1136 01:20:22,731 --> 01:20:25,376 It's an indoor tree that I sell exclusively to Europe. 1137 01:20:25,513 --> 01:20:28,793 A sitting-room tree. It's very beautiful and practical. 1138 01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:31,531 Please, miss, will you show him? 1139 01:20:33,510 --> 01:20:37,430 I think he'll like it. You can put it in the lounge. 1140 01:20:37,455 --> 01:20:39,175 You can place it on a soft carpet. 1141 01:20:39,200 --> 01:20:41,920 - Yes, like a Bukhara or a Smirne. - Of course. 1142 01:20:42,243 --> 01:20:46,975 As long as it's clean, hygiene is important for animals. 1143 01:20:47,032 --> 01:20:50,636 - It's not expensive either. - It's excellent for peeing. 1144 01:20:50,784 --> 01:20:53,935 Yes, it's perfect for my Wotan. 1145 01:20:54,111 --> 01:20:58,831 - Go over to the sales team then. - Yes, I want to try it. 1146 01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:01,765 Thank you, Your Excellency. Did you see how practical it is? 1147 01:21:01,960 --> 01:21:05,324 How nice, how original 1148 01:21:05,520 --> 01:21:09,560 this sprinkling of water around the tree is so amusing! 1149 01:21:10,040 --> 01:21:11,800 Where's the old lady? 1150 01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:15,480 Our sponsor, Baron Vanzino di Castelfusano d'Arezzo. 1151 01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:20,240 - Please, I don't like crowds. - Baron, let me introduce you... 1152 01:21:20,373 --> 01:21:23,573 No! I can't stand this kind of exhibitionism. 1153 01:21:23,895 --> 01:21:26,135 Some admirer of mine may recognise me. 1154 01:21:26,185 --> 01:21:27,442 Where's Madame Virginia? 1155 01:21:27,813 --> 01:21:30,871 - I don't like the look of this. - Why? 1156 01:21:31,000 --> 01:21:35,021 Lady Eva mentioned doing operations to change... 1157 01:21:35,188 --> 01:21:39,621 the sex of cats and parrots! I'll get stricken off the register. 1158 01:21:39,882 --> 01:21:42,665 Rodolfo! Rodolfuccio! 1159 01:21:43,162 --> 01:21:48,162 The voice of an old lady is humming in my ear! 1160 01:21:49,200 --> 01:21:53,400 My dear tripe, stick to the old lady. You're my only hope. 1161 01:21:54,598 --> 01:21:58,158 Madame Virginia, where have you been? I've brought you a camera 1162 01:21:58,307 --> 01:22:00,387 to take pictures. - With the kittens? 1163 01:22:00,625 --> 01:22:04,995 No, with the big hounds! 1164 01:22:05,140 --> 01:22:10,290 We'll see their strength and virility as they go after a helpless old lady. 1165 01:22:10,419 --> 01:22:13,415 - I brought some tripe for them. - For them? 1166 01:22:13,597 --> 01:22:15,229 It's a little treat. 1167 01:22:15,385 --> 01:22:17,545 Tie it on here... 1168 01:22:18,051 --> 01:22:21,091 and pose for a nice photo with the hounds. 1169 01:22:22,000 --> 01:22:23,520 That's it. 1170 01:22:23,735 --> 01:22:27,720 Now don't move, look up and smile. 1171 01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:30,698 There. That's great. 1172 01:22:31,973 --> 01:22:35,653 - Go back a bit. - Okay. 1173 01:22:36,015 --> 01:22:37,535 - A bit further back. - Yes. 1174 01:22:37,671 --> 01:22:40,551 Until you're touching the cage. That's good. 1175 01:22:47,320 --> 01:22:48,440 They'll eat her! 1176 01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:52,222 Help, the dogs! 1177 01:22:52,360 --> 01:22:54,360 Help! 1178 01:22:57,880 --> 01:23:00,400 - What's going on? - Let's go and see. 1179 01:23:09,408 --> 01:23:10,488 What's happened? 1180 01:23:10,608 --> 01:23:13,648 The hounds have eaten our lady president. 1181 01:23:18,200 --> 01:23:21,724 Excuse me, let me see her body. 1182 01:23:21,920 --> 01:23:26,030 There's nothing left of her? Just scraps. 1183 01:23:26,701 --> 01:23:29,821 - Dammit, these hounds! They've... - Rodolfo! 1184 01:23:29,880 --> 01:23:32,760 I can hear the old lady calling me from Heaven. 1185 01:23:32,880 --> 01:23:36,280 I jumped up and climbed onto this tree. 1186 01:23:37,723 --> 01:23:40,803 I need a ladder to get down. 1187 01:23:41,828 --> 01:23:45,933 So this is tripe? Did you untie it while you were running? 1188 01:23:46,140 --> 01:23:47,900 How did she do that? 1189 01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:51,080 - Is the old lady with you? - Yes, the countess is in the tree. 1190 01:23:51,160 --> 01:23:54,103 Don't worry, I've sent for a ladder. 1191 01:23:54,256 --> 01:23:56,976 Whose are these dogs without muzzles? 1192 01:23:57,219 --> 01:23:58,560 Never mind that. 1193 01:23:58,680 --> 01:24:02,160 - They don't bite, do they? - No. Thanks, commander. 1194 01:24:02,354 --> 01:24:03,775 They're from my institute. 1195 01:24:03,889 --> 01:24:07,210 I'm the manager and she's the president. 1196 01:24:07,366 --> 01:24:11,968 - Get these dogs off the street. - You do it, you're the traffic cop. 1197 01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:14,800 - Don't raise your voice at me! - You're the one shouting! 1198 01:24:14,963 --> 01:24:16,323 - I'm not. - Calm down. 1199 01:24:16,456 --> 01:24:18,376 - He's "grossier". - What did she say? 1200 01:24:18,492 --> 01:24:21,132 Take no notice, she's foreign. It means "gross". 1201 01:24:21,300 --> 01:24:25,420 - No, it means "boorish". - You're insulting a public official! 1202 01:24:25,531 --> 01:24:30,011 This is an unfortunate accident. The lady is in shock. 1203 01:24:30,188 --> 01:24:34,120 - You said they were kept in... - In a kennel. 1204 01:24:34,254 --> 01:24:35,894 - In a ken...? - In a cage. 1205 01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:38,360 All's well that ends well. 1206 01:24:38,484 --> 01:24:41,044 We won't be needing to issue a fine. 1207 01:24:41,182 --> 01:24:45,622 Isn't the old lady perched on the tree an amusing sight? 1208 01:24:45,943 --> 01:24:50,040 I'm Baron Rodolfo Vanzino Castelfusano d'Arezzo. 1209 01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:54,960 I admire your understanding attitude, captain. I really do. 1210 01:24:55,163 --> 01:24:59,077 - I'm not a captain, I'm a corporal. - How can that be? 1211 01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:01,640 You deserve to be a colonel. 1212 01:25:01,820 --> 01:25:04,700 Why don't we get him to partake in our enterprise? 1213 01:25:04,829 --> 01:25:08,903 - I'm sure you know the lady. - I've not had the pleasure. 1214 01:25:09,055 --> 01:25:14,295 - Eva Bolavsky. - Lady Eva, you must've heard of her. 1215 01:25:14,432 --> 01:25:18,200 - Lady Eva? - The agony aunt, you know. 1216 01:25:18,473 --> 01:25:22,713 - The one who has a weekly column? - Yes, thanks for your understanding. 1217 01:25:22,829 --> 01:25:26,472 Forgive us for the "boor", it was said in a moment of weakness. 1218 01:25:26,752 --> 01:25:30,072 Wait! Wait, Lady Eva! 1219 01:25:30,481 --> 01:25:34,181 Castelfusano, Torvaianica! 1220 01:25:34,560 --> 01:25:38,600 - It was a surprise... - One moment, Lady Eva. 1221 01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:42,560 We need to issue a fine. 1222 01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:46,960 Article 354: "Aggressive dogs without muzzles." 1223 01:25:47,070 --> 01:25:50,030 Article 445: "Obstruction of the street." 1224 01:25:50,275 --> 01:25:53,760 Article 555: "Insulting a public official." 1225 01:25:53,880 --> 01:25:58,520 - It was a slip of the tongue. - She insulted my colleague. 1226 01:25:58,680 --> 01:26:02,723 - Lady Eva is very famous. - I want to inspect your institute. 1227 01:26:02,867 --> 01:26:06,467 - There are too many animals. - It was this crazy woman's idea. 1228 01:26:06,640 --> 01:26:09,800 One moment, I think I've seen you before. 1229 01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:11,480 Maybe abroad. 1230 01:26:11,640 --> 01:26:15,570 - Let's go to the station. - Not to the station. 1231 01:26:16,360 --> 01:26:21,334 - Who is Eva Bolavsky? - That's me, inspector. 1232 01:26:21,476 --> 01:26:26,655 But your ID says: "Filomena Cangiullo, housewife". 1233 01:26:26,829 --> 01:26:32,640 - Why do you call yourself Eva Bolavsky? - It's my pen name. 1234 01:26:33,035 --> 01:26:36,760 You know that George Sand was in actual fact called 1235 01:26:37,018 --> 01:26:40,092 Amandine-Lucile-Aurore... What was it, mama? 1236 01:26:40,194 --> 01:26:41,234 Dupin. 1237 01:26:42,360 --> 01:26:46,560 Article 252: "Falsification of documents." 1238 01:26:46,758 --> 01:26:48,758 - That's a serious crime. - Very serious! 1239 01:26:48,860 --> 01:26:52,340 I had an 81-year-old who said she was 18. 1240 01:26:52,440 --> 01:26:55,880 - Gigliozzi, I'm in charge here. - Yes, sir. 1241 01:26:56,086 --> 01:26:57,326 He's exaggerating. 1242 01:26:57,446 --> 01:27:00,326 - Don't be cocky or he'll fire you. - If I remember who you are... 1243 01:27:01,390 --> 01:27:03,910 Inspector, we're wasting time over nuances. 1244 01:27:03,935 --> 01:27:04,975 Sorry? 1245 01:27:05,052 --> 01:27:09,652 We should be at our opening, these are trivial matters. 1246 01:27:09,720 --> 01:27:16,240 Trivial matters? This minor is wanted by police all over the country 1247 01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:19,440 for having run away from home with fantasies of being a film star 1248 01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:20,840 and you took her in. 1249 01:27:20,960 --> 01:27:23,920 - Will you allow me to explain? - There's nothing to explain. 1250 01:27:24,033 --> 01:27:25,233 Be quiet! 1251 01:27:25,377 --> 01:27:29,817 I'm a regular visitor at Lady Eva's and that's where I met this girl. 1252 01:27:29,951 --> 01:27:33,071 - Where did you meet her? - At Lady Eva and her mother's house. 1253 01:27:34,167 --> 01:27:37,219 - They run a brothel. - Of course. 1254 01:27:37,288 --> 01:27:40,301 Look at her mother, she has that typical look. 1255 01:27:40,500 --> 01:27:45,900 - I know all about that look. - I bet you do! 1256 01:27:46,000 --> 01:27:47,480 - Can I go? - No! 1257 01:27:47,900 --> 01:27:51,740 - I can vouch for the ladies. - One moment. 1258 01:27:51,895 --> 01:27:55,975 The girl's father came to Rome looking for her and he's here. 1259 01:27:56,043 --> 01:27:58,603 - You wretched, irresponsible girl! - Papa! 1260 01:27:58,722 --> 01:28:01,282 - Calm down. - Did he help you? 1261 01:28:01,403 --> 01:28:02,443 If it was him... 1262 01:28:02,520 --> 01:28:06,360 - I have an urgent need... - Stay put! 1263 01:28:06,954 --> 01:28:09,103 - Must I put up a resistance? - Be quiet. 1264 01:28:09,415 --> 01:28:11,985 - Let me explain. - No, who are you? 1265 01:28:12,109 --> 01:28:15,949 I'm Mr Marco Cappelli and I want to marry your daughter. 1266 01:28:18,184 --> 01:28:19,504 Don't listen to him. 1267 01:28:19,575 --> 01:28:24,495 - Now it's up to your father. - That's right, you're coming home. 1268 01:28:24,580 --> 01:28:26,460 Forget about films and engagements! 1269 01:28:26,671 --> 01:28:30,083 - Lady Eva, help me. - Calm down, silly girl. 1270 01:28:30,239 --> 01:28:32,840 - Listen, Dr... - I'm a shopkeeper. 1271 01:28:33,086 --> 01:28:35,520 - Who are you? - Cangiullo, a writer. 1272 01:28:35,648 --> 01:28:38,357 - She's Lady Eva! - Be quiet. 1273 01:28:38,575 --> 01:28:44,335 You see, this young girl came to me, I should've informed you, 1274 01:28:44,579 --> 01:28:49,024 but I thought it was best that she realised of her own accord 1275 01:28:49,139 --> 01:28:53,619 how absurd her fantasies were. She was never out of our sight. 1276 01:28:54,215 --> 01:28:58,520 We were lucky because at my house 1277 01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:03,711 Isabella met Mr Cappelli, who is a decent young man, 1278 01:29:04,004 --> 01:29:09,684 a vet by profession, with serious intentions, muscly... 1279 01:29:10,717 --> 01:29:15,760 Generally, this is the real Oscar that these young girls 1280 01:29:15,871 --> 01:29:20,743 who seek glory and art wish to be awarded. 1281 01:29:22,198 --> 01:29:24,398 I have no interest in this. 1282 01:29:25,082 --> 01:29:30,027 If those are his intentions and you have found your daughter... 1283 01:29:30,295 --> 01:29:33,538 - You can wait outside. - Thank you, inspector. 1284 01:29:33,789 --> 01:29:38,189 One moment, inspector, we have to go by the book. 1285 01:29:38,400 --> 01:29:43,120 - Cangiullo is responsible. - Gigliozzi, I'm in charge here! 1286 01:29:43,547 --> 01:29:48,320 That's it, enough! I've had enough now! 1287 01:29:48,535 --> 01:29:51,655 You're making me waste precious time! 1288 01:29:51,731 --> 01:29:54,987 - Calm down. - I can't calm down! 1289 01:29:55,160 --> 01:29:58,120 I have an important matter to discuss with Madame Virginia 1290 01:29:58,280 --> 01:30:00,040 and I'm wasting time here! 1291 01:30:00,291 --> 01:30:05,111 Why am I at the police station? It's not like it's a cocktail-party! 1292 01:30:05,326 --> 01:30:10,448 I'm Baron Rodolfo Vanzino Castelfusano d'Arezzo! 1293 01:30:11,135 --> 01:30:14,135 You're obviously used to dealing with the dregs of society! 1294 01:30:14,160 --> 01:30:15,480 FRAUD AND DECEPTION 1295 01:30:15,560 --> 01:30:18,280 But this time you're making a big mistake! 1296 01:30:18,544 --> 01:30:23,384 You don't know who I am. I go by the title of baron! 1297 01:30:23,815 --> 01:30:28,963 I will take this further and make you pay for this insult! 1298 01:30:29,083 --> 01:30:32,044 You have no idea who I am! I am... 1299 01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:33,160 - It's him! - Who? 1300 01:30:33,295 --> 01:30:37,135 Rodolfo Vanzino di Castelfusano d'Arezzo. Be quiet! 1301 01:30:37,160 --> 01:30:40,920 He's wanted by police HQ for fraud, 1302 01:30:41,034 --> 01:30:42,754 dodgy dealings... - They're just dealings! 1303 01:30:42,848 --> 01:30:45,608 - Abuse... - The odd slap. 1304 01:30:45,720 --> 01:30:49,400 No, abuse! False preacher of the Discalced Carmelites. 1305 01:30:49,560 --> 01:30:53,200 No, the Franciscans! I applied to be a missionary. 1306 01:30:53,320 --> 01:30:55,960 - Here it says "Discalced"! - Well, they wear sandals. 1307 01:30:56,080 --> 01:30:58,480 Repatriated seven times for illegal expatriation. 1308 01:30:58,560 --> 01:30:59,701 In the cargo hold! 1309 01:30:59,943 --> 01:31:03,023 It's him, I've checked the files. 1310 01:31:03,280 --> 01:31:06,640 - Be quiet. - I've checked, it's him. 1311 01:31:06,763 --> 01:31:11,003 - Take him away. - I hope you're happy, inspector! 1312 01:31:11,194 --> 01:31:14,320 I just feel bad at having to abandon my old ladies! 1313 01:31:14,975 --> 01:31:17,935 Farewell, old girl. Farewell, Lady Eva. 1314 01:31:18,055 --> 01:31:21,415 The whole world will know the truth because I'll write a memoir 1315 01:31:21,625 --> 01:31:24,137 during this incarceration. 1316 01:31:24,331 --> 01:31:27,811 - Is there a tuck shop? I'm thirsty. - Let's go! 1317 01:31:28,135 --> 01:31:34,175 Lady Eva, they've taken the baron away. He's our manager! 1318 01:31:34,389 --> 01:31:37,331 Don't worry, the rest home will survive. 1319 01:31:37,415 --> 01:31:38,415 How? 1320 01:31:38,509 --> 01:31:41,549 - You'll run it. - What a good idea. 1321 01:31:41,660 --> 01:31:47,860 - But what will they do to him? - Nothing, he has friends in high places. 1322 01:31:47,972 --> 01:31:49,880 He'll just have to pay extra taxes. 1323 01:31:50,135 --> 01:31:52,895 - They'll get him to make a film. - It's incredible. 1324 01:31:53,006 --> 01:31:56,926 Now there's one more person we have to deal with. 1325 01:31:57,059 --> 01:31:59,830 We have to put an end to Lady Eva's letters page. 1326 01:32:00,855 --> 01:32:05,015 Miss, my friend the editor told me the whole story. 1327 01:32:05,262 --> 01:32:09,030 Lady Eva is inventive, but she's a very useful element. 1328 01:32:09,238 --> 01:32:11,598 I couldn't do without her for my "Adam and Eve." 1329 01:32:11,683 --> 01:32:13,723 - Now you're exaggerating. - Be quiet! 1330 01:32:13,857 --> 01:32:15,017 All right, sir. 1331 01:32:15,135 --> 01:32:18,987 Thanks for everything, but now I have to steal Eva from you. 1332 01:32:19,255 --> 01:32:21,375 You have many letters waiting for you, darling. 1333 01:32:21,469 --> 01:32:26,429 I can't write today, my feelings have been insulted. 1334 01:32:26,537 --> 01:32:29,217 I can't see anyone today. 1335 01:32:29,320 --> 01:32:34,000 I'll wait outside. Come, mama. Goodbye, inspector. 1336 01:32:34,197 --> 01:32:39,204 Oh, no... when she starts talking like that, she's after a raise. 1337 01:32:39,280 --> 01:32:42,199 And I can't say no or I'll sell fewer copies. 1338 01:32:42,325 --> 01:32:45,205 So Cangiullo will continue to write for her column? 1339 01:32:45,412 --> 01:32:47,332 Why shouldn't she? 1340 01:32:47,577 --> 01:32:53,217 I'm telling you that the letters page will continue to be read by many wives 1341 01:32:53,280 --> 01:32:55,640 for a very long time! 1342 01:32:58,689 --> 01:33:01,089 Dear Gigliozzi, there's no point fainting. 1343 01:33:01,186 --> 01:33:05,146 For the good of humanity the letters page will continue. It has to. 1344 01:33:05,523 --> 01:33:07,203 Lady Eva will go back to work, 1345 01:33:07,310 --> 01:33:10,070 hundreds of simple souls will continue writing to her, 1346 01:33:10,200 --> 01:33:13,760 seeking her advice which resolves their doubts, consoles their hearts 1347 01:33:13,932 --> 01:33:17,572 and soothes the anguish felt by unhappy souls with unfortunate fates 1348 01:33:17,715 --> 01:33:19,635 who've been forgotten by society. 1349 01:33:19,789 --> 01:33:22,505 Dearest Lady Eva, 1350 01:33:23,047 --> 01:33:27,167 lit by candle-light, like a 19th century writer, 1351 01:33:27,234 --> 01:33:29,111 I'm writing to you with my news. 1352 01:33:29,259 --> 01:33:31,419 Forgive the slight Tuscan accent, 1353 01:33:31,938 --> 01:33:37,184 but I've been residing in a grand hotel near Prato. 1354 01:33:38,438 --> 01:33:43,038 Reasons of State compel me to remain here for the rest of the season. 1355 01:33:43,215 --> 01:33:46,550 Soon I will once again partake in our enterprise. 1356 01:33:46,863 --> 01:33:49,240 I'm an avid reader of your column 1357 01:33:49,463 --> 01:33:52,141 and what struck me most in the latest issue 1358 01:33:52,240 --> 01:33:56,012 was the appeal from the young foreign woman who is crippled! 1359 01:34:00,055 --> 01:34:03,095 I believe she's a millionaire, if I am not mistaken, 1360 01:34:03,900 --> 01:34:05,780 and lives in Positano. 1361 01:34:05,880 --> 01:34:10,520 She is seeking a kind soul who can help her and push her around 1362 01:34:10,662 --> 01:34:12,382 in her wheelchair. 1363 01:34:12,523 --> 01:34:15,403 That kind soul, Lady Eva, is me! 1364 01:34:16,659 --> 01:34:21,066 As soon I as get out, put me in contact with the crippled woman. 1365 01:34:21,230 --> 01:34:23,260 Introduce me to her! 1366 01:34:24,415 --> 01:34:27,637 Send me the cripple! She won't be able to run away! 1367 01:34:29,152 --> 01:34:33,295 Signed: Rodolfo Vanzino Castelfusano d'Arezzo. 1368 01:34:33,417 --> 01:34:35,097 THE END 106590