Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,437 --> 00:00:03,527
[Knock on door, door opens]
2
00:00:03,612 --> 00:00:05,142
Hey, Dee dees.
3
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:06,832
I'm not interrupting
anything, am I?
4
00:00:06,919 --> 00:00:08,199
No, melon ball.
I'm just leaving.
5
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,745
I'm going to meet
drew and the nanny
6
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:12,875
at his new "mommy,
nanny, and me" class.
7
00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:15,319
He got kicked
out of his old class
8
00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:18,016
for throwing his juice
box at another child.
9
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,885
Nonsense. The reason drew left
10
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:21,756
was because he
was understimulated
11
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,847
and needed a more
advanced group.
12
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:27,806
That's the official
story. We're sticking to it.
13
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,157
He drew blood.
14
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,026
You say blood, I
say grape juice.
15
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:33,028
Official story.
16
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,430
Wow. I wish my mom had rewritten
17
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:36,993
some childhood stories about me.
18
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,140
Instead she told my problems
19
00:00:38,168 --> 00:00:39,558
to anybody who'd listen.
20
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:41,428
Ah, that's just part
of Phyllis' charm.
21
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,219
Actually, that's
all of her charm.
22
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:51,181
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
23
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:55,878
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪
24
00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:59,148
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
25
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:01,283
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
26
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,365
♪ brings out the joy ♪
27
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,800
♪ inside of me ♪
28
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,071
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
29
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,365
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
30
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:13,861
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
31
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,213
♪ you and me ♪
32
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:19,383
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
33
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:26,606
And after you
finish all the tracks,
34
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,995
we'll sit down with Kai
35
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,958
and we will pick
out your first single.
36
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,266
It's gonna be hard to choose.
37
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,352
Yeah, we love them all.
38
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,750
Well, fortunately, at delicious,
39
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:35,252
we have a very effective
procedure for choosing
40
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:36,359
our releases.
41
00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:38,714
Yeah. Kai says,
"release that one."
42
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:40,324
And we do.
43
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:43,974
Hey, baby.
44
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:45,500
Ma, what are you doing here?
45
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:46,933
Well, I wanted to talk to you
46
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,369
about your mother's day present.
47
00:01:48,456 --> 00:01:50,336
Well, the ultimate present
would be a grandbaby.
48
00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:51,911
But to do that, she'd
have to get pregnant.
49
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,217
To get pregnant,
she'd have to have sex.
50
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,703
To have sex, she'd
have to have a man.
51
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,513
And she ain't got no man.
52
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,074
Ma!
53
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,421
Hey, I'm no happier
about it than you are.
54
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,731
So anyway,
55
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,267
now for years I've
worked with the charity
56
00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:04,397
bay area mothers for others.
57
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,818
Oh, I'm aware of
your involvement.
58
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:08,478
You gave them 5
bags of my clothes.
59
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,913
Well, they were ugly.
60
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,480
So this year, since i'm
on the planning committee,
61
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,068
I signed both of us
up to work on their
62
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:16,221
mother's day telethon.
63
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,960
We get to spend the
whole day together
64
00:02:18,050 --> 00:02:19,100
and do something nice
65
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:20,842
for underprivileged single moms.
66
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,273
That's your present to me.
67
00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,359
'Cause I found that box of candy
68
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,188
you were gonna give me...
69
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:26,705
Ain't cuttin' it.
70
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,248
That wasn't for you.
That's my earthquake
71
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:29,928
chocolate.
72
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:32,239
Hey, I watch that
telethon every year,
73
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,106
and I love the weather
guy who hosts it.
74
00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:35,887
Gavin storm.
75
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,291
Ohh. I love it when he's outside
76
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:39,034
and the wind's blowing
80 miles an hour.
77
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,595
His hair never moves.
78
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,293
That's talent.
79
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,660
Well, if it's good
enough for Gavin,
80
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:45,986
it's good enough for me.
81
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,358
I'll be your brother for others.
82
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,044
A brofo.
83
00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,255
Ohh!
84
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,364
Well, how about you, Adam?
85
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:52,688
We could use some more bodies.
86
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,191
Well, if I had a dime
for every time somebody
87
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,827
said that to me...
88
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,444
Fine, I'll tell my mom
89
00:02:57,525 --> 00:02:59,785
it's my mother's
day gift to her, too.
90
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,615
Ooh, that way I can
keep the mink eyelashes
91
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,233
I got her.
92
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:05,493
Hey, Tiffany, Serena,
93
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,176
maybe you guys could
perform on the show.
94
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:08,230
It'd be your first gig
95
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,578
since signing with the label.
96
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,147
Sounds like a great cause.
97
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,354
And the exposure won't hurt.
98
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:15,279
Ooh, my Mona's
really something, huh?
99
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:17,069
It's hard to believe
she was a late bloomer
100
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,683
with a lazy eye and
corrective shoes.
101
00:03:20,461 --> 00:03:21,641
Ma, do you always have to say
102
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:23,203
whatever's on your mind?
103
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,680
Of course. It's
part of my charm.
104
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,602
[Knock on door, door opens]
105
00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:31,647
Look who I found
hiding from your mother
106
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,133
in the hallway.
107
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:38,442
Oh, daddy, did mother
drag you out shopping again?
108
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,312
She's at the boutique
down the street.
109
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:42,134
She said she wanted my input.
110
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,012
What she wanted was my wallet.
111
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,794
Well, I'm glad you're both here.
112
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:49,188
I've decided that mother
and I are gonna volunteer
113
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,532
for that telethon, too,
114
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,191
that is if you all don't mind.
115
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,015
Mind? You giving
of your time instead
116
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,153
of spending my money?
117
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,055
I love it.
118
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,630
Well, mothers for others
is a good organization,
119
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:02,198
and I can always use
120
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,765
some more charity
points on my resume.
121
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,422
Well, do you think
your mom will do it?
122
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:09,246
Oh, Mona. Telethon
means televised.
123
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:13,246
She will break out her
best wig for this puppy.
124
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:16,080
[Beeping]
125
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,558
Oh, that's my accountant
with a 911 page.
126
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,559
Your mother must have moved on
127
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,350
to the jewelry section.
128
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,353
Here. Take my wallet.
129
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:26,979
If I don't have it,
maybe I can slow down
130
00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,565
the spending.
131
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,101
[Door closes]
132
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,493
Daddy trusts me with this?
133
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:34,316
What was he thinking?
134
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,631
Ahem.
135
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,723
[Laughs]
136
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,517
Phyllis: And since you'll be
working the phone bank today,
137
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,976
we need to go over
procedures for taking donations.
138
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,850
Now first, we'll talk
about how to deal
139
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,031
with annoying people.
140
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,076
Hello, hello.
141
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,429
On your feet, people.
142
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,652
La diva has entered.
143
00:04:57,732 --> 00:05:00,172
Mmm. Mmm.
144
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,516
You're late.
145
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:04,215
But fabulous. So I forgive me.
146
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,574
Well, look, you've missed...
147
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:06,483
Oh, don't worry, phyl,
148
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,787
I already know everything
149
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:08,922
I need to know.
150
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:09,744
The president of
the organization
151
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:10,831
filled me in
152
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,069
when he graciously assigned me
153
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:14,144
the phone with the
most screen time.
154
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,916
You spoke to kwaku?
155
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,321
I can't even get his
secretary to answer my e-mail.
156
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:19,745
Wait a minute.
157
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,681
You bribed him with a
big donation, didn't you?
158
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:25,332
You say bribe, I
say gently urged.
159
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,562
Can we just get
back to the meeting?
160
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:27,407
Absolutely.
161
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,071
But can I just say
162
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,724
these refreshments
are not acceptable.
163
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,198
When I chaired the Tucson
164
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,248
march of the dimes,
165
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,994
we did a smidge better
than instant coffee
166
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,384
and snack mix.
167
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,398
Well, I'm sorry we don't
have your breakfast liquor,
168
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:44,037
but feel free to
pull out your flask.
169
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:46,076
Come on, people.
Can we just focus?
170
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,481
I'm sorry, Phyllis.
171
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,854
We can't hear you.
Can you turn down
172
00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:52,050
your outfit?
173
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:55,624
These needy single
mothers are counting on us.
174
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,013
And you are the
woman to lead us,
175
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:58,575
since being needy and single
176
00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:02,012
has always been your specialty.
177
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,950
And you can help with the
pregnant and single women
178
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:07,112
since that was your specialty.
179
00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,242
What? Ma.
180
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,154
This revelation shrouds my idol
181
00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:12,199
in a hideous scandal.
182
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:15,684
I've never loved her more.
183
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,046
You weren't pregnant
with me before
184
00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:18,942
you were married.
185
00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:20,640
Right, mom?
186
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:23,078
Mom?
187
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,775
Oh, my god, it's true.
188
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:25,992
Oh, wait.
189
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:28,081
Dee Dee's a love child?
190
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:32,130
That's hot!
191
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,307
So, that story you told me
192
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,094
about being conceived
on your honeymoon
193
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:39,959
in a cabana on a white,
Sandy beach in montego bay
194
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,051
wasn't true?
195
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:42,659
Well, your father and I
196
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,930
did have Jamaican
jerk chicken that night.
197
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,584
I can't believe you
would keep something
198
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,058
this important from me!
199
00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:51,107
Dee Dee, honey, you
have to understand.
200
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,463
Dee Dee!
201
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:54,542
Ok, thanks,
everybody, for coming.
202
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:56,851
We'll see you this
afternoon at the studio.
203
00:06:56,938 --> 00:06:58,328
Wait. I'm confused.
204
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,848
Ok, see, big Dee
Dee wasn't married
205
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,161
when she and Charles got...
206
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,596
Uhh! I know that.
207
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,643
I still don't know how
to use the damn phones.
208
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:10,080
Ma, I cannot believe
209
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,735
you could be that insensitive.
210
00:07:11,822 --> 00:07:13,912
And I can't believe you
ended my meeting that way.
211
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,448
Well, I didn't want
to say what I have to
212
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,698
say to you in public
213
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:18,534
because I have tact...
Unlike some people...
214
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,142
And I know when to
keep my mouth shut
215
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:21,352
unlike some people.
216
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,231
Yeah, that big Dee
Dee is a loud one.
217
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,663
Not her. You.
218
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:28,709
Hey, I've thrown that
unwed and pregnant bomb
219
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,186
at big girl plenty of times.
220
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,625
It's one of my favorites.
221
00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:34,672
I especially like to use
it during the holidays.
222
00:07:34,758 --> 00:07:35,998
Yeah, but did you have to do it
223
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,380
in front of Dee
Dee and a room full
224
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,633
of strangers?
225
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,169
Well, how was I supposed
to know jumbotron
226
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,938
hadn't been honest
with her daughter.
227
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:43,196
All I did was tell the truth.
228
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,988
Whether you knew
it was a secret or not,
229
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,513
it wasn't your truth to tell.
230
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,686
Now look what you
did. You hurt Dee Dee.
231
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:50,252
And if you want
truth, here's some:
232
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:53,819
I'm fed up with you
and your big mouth.
233
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:56,168
I know you didn't just
speak to me like that.
234
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:57,518
That's right. 'Cause I'm not
235
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,777
speaking to you at all.
236
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:01,958
Come on, Dee, let me in
237
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,183
so I can explain.
238
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,785
I don't want to talk to you.
239
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,745
Please. I'm begging.
240
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:07,884
It's mother's day.
241
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,965
I'm down on my knees.
242
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,364
No, you aren't.
243
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:12,797
Ok, I'm not.
244
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,453
My dior stockings would snag.
245
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,097
But it's the
thought that counts.
246
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,459
Go away!
247
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,072
Come on, Dee, open up.
248
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,302
Don't make me use your sister's
249
00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:23,327
brawny shoulders
250
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,772
to knock down the door.
251
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,770
Mona's out there?
252
00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,505
Yeah, Dee Dee, I'm here!
253
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,286
Maybe she'll talk to me.
254
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,470
I doubt it.
255
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,875
She refuses to
even open the door.
256
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,079
This is going to be
257
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,650
a beautiful mother's
day memory...
258
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:44,218
When I retell it.
259
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,398
What are you doing?
260
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:52,135
Getting rid of all
reminders of my mother.
261
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,747
Dee Dee, Dee Dee,
anger is one thing,
262
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,197
wasting a deliciously
nutty liqueur
263
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,320
is another.
264
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,886
Suddenly I'm questioning
265
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,283
everything.
266
00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:01,625
Were my parents really in love?
267
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,845
Is my name really Dee Dee?
268
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:08,034
Am I really a size zero?
269
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,982
I'm sorry my mom told you,
270
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,701
though I always wondered
if keeping it from you
271
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,415
was the right thing to do.
272
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:14,639
You knew?
273
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,158
Would it upset
you more if I did?
274
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,301
Yes!
275
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,652
Then I am as shocked as you are.
276
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,303
Mona, how could you not tell me?
277
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,126
Well, nobody actually told me.
278
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,694
I just did the math
279
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,911
and it wasn't my
place to tell you.
280
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,051
So everyone knew but me.
281
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,963
How you must have
pitied poor little Dee Dee,
282
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:34,178
product of her parents' lust.
283
00:09:34,269 --> 00:09:36,449
It's not like it's
such a big deal.
284
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,362
Well, if it weren't
such a big deal,
285
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:39,637
then why is everyone treating it
286
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:40,796
like a dirty little secret?
287
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:42,544
Oh, it's a dirty, little secret.
288
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,795
I just said it
wasn't a big deal.
289
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:48,198
♪ I can't describe how ♪
290
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:51,633
♪ I need you, want you ♪
291
00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,981
♪ and I'm missing you ♪
292
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,771
♪ oh, I ♪
293
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,136
♪ I wanna know
what it feels like ♪
294
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,731
♪ to love you ♪
295
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:02,556
♪ again, sometimes,
but I know why ♪
296
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:05,205
♪ I won't get the
chance to say ♪
297
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:08,910
♪ that I'm sorry
for what I did... ♪
298
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,039
Dee Dee,
299
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:11,131
I am so sorry...
300
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:12,915
I'm taking pledges here!
301
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:17,046
Your phone's not ringing.
302
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,968
Well, his is.
303
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:21,533
Hello. Mothers for others.
304
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,541
♪ What was meant to be ♪
305
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:28,193
♪ and now our fairy tale
has no happy ending ♪
306
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,409
♪ and I left with no good-bye ♪
307
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:34,849
♪ no reason why
our love should end ♪
308
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:38,938
♪ and now I know what
you meant to my life ♪
309
00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:40,899
♪ I wanna know
what it feels like ♪
310
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:43,988
♪ to love you ♪
311
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:47,998
♪ again, sometimes,
but I know why ♪
312
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:49,652
♪ I won't get the
chance to say ♪
313
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:50,866
♪ that I'm sorry ♪
314
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:54,524
♪ for what I did and I ♪
315
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,180
♪ dream and look to the sky ♪
316
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,955
♪ baby, believe me ♪
317
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:05,099
♪ I know that you hear my cry ♪
318
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:08,536
[Applause]
319
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:11,544
Oh, yes. Yes!
320
00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:13,107
Great!
321
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:14,464
Yes, delicious records'
322
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,853
newest singing sensation...
323
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:19,366
Tiffany and Serena.
324
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,251
And we'd like to
thank our host...
325
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:22,382
[coughs]
326
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:23,684
Our handsome host,
327
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,050
channel 6 weatherman
Gavin storm.
328
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,115
Ha ha! You're too kind.
329
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:28,988
Thank you. Good-bye.
330
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:32,079
Hey, wasn't that truly inspiring
331
00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:33,209
on such a beautiful day,
332
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,431
high 72, low tonight 56.
333
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,910
And I hope they've inspired you
334
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,440
to open up your
hearts, your wallets,
335
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,090
and your umbrellas.
336
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:42,437
Chance of rain in the P.M.
337
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,837
Yes, $100 is generous,
but for only $400 more,
338
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,532
you get 2 tickets to
Adam benet's latest
339
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:48,709
one-man show,
340
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:52,485
Filipino follies.
341
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,631
Ok. 10 bucks it is.
342
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,723
Yeah, I'm the cute
mocha guy with
343
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:58,984
the great smile.
344
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,286
How did you know that?
345
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,812
I'm on right now?
346
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,770
Your donations to
mothers for others
347
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,856
provide services for single
moms who need it most.
348
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,746
And after all, isn't that
the least you can do
349
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,648
for the woman who
stands by your side,
350
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,173
who loves you unconditionally,
351
00:12:15,256 --> 00:12:17,126
the woman who gave you life?
352
00:12:18,215 --> 00:12:20,905
How can I get me
one of those moms?
353
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:22,831
But we need more...
354
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,656
More money for
those valued women
355
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,184
we simply call...
356
00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:28,267
♪ Mom ♪
357
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:29,676
Even though my mother
and I haven't spoken
358
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:30,875
for 11 years.
359
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:33,447
Nonetheless, I still
love her and I wish
360
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,575
that pride and a
restraining order
361
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,847
didn't keep me from the
woman who gave me life.
362
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,152
And a head of hair rated
by weatherman monthly
363
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:44,758
as "best hair in the bay area."
364
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:45,851
Hey.
365
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,545
I'm still not talking to you.
366
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,677
Even if I came to apologize?
367
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,380
Really? Wait, is this a trick?
368
00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:55,338
Lure me into a false
sense of security
369
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,576
and then tell
everybody here about
370
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,691
my crooked pinky toe?
371
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,168
Look, Mona,
372
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,648
I never meant to hurt Dee Dee,
373
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,279
and I know I'm not
the most tactful person
374
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:06,516
in the world, but...
375
00:13:06,611 --> 00:13:08,181
And don't say "it's
part of my charm."
376
00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:09,915
Well, it is.
377
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,696
And it's also a
part of who I am.
378
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,202
My mother never
sugar-coated anything.
379
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,138
She just said it like it was.
380
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:19,710
It made me strong, so
that's how I raised you.
381
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,169
Yeah, but don't you
ever wish that grandma
382
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:22,021
weren't so blunt?
383
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:25,065
Only every damn day.
384
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,592
Oh. Good point.
385
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:28,716
I'm sorry.
386
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,248
I really will try to do better.
387
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:34,422
Thanks, ma.
388
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:39,819
Sorry about you and your mother.
389
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:42,036
Oh, I just said
that to stimulate
390
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:44,515
donations.
391
00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,776
Mother and I are
actually very close.
392
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,129
We share a duplex in San Jose.
393
00:13:49,219 --> 00:13:51,609
I have the bigger bedroom.
394
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,480
Really?
395
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,570
Uh-huh.
396
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,098
My daughter here was conceived
397
00:13:55,182 --> 00:13:57,622
to do you know the
way to San Jose?
398
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,136
Ma, you're doing it again.
399
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,119
What? I didn't tell him
it was playing on the car
400
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:04,104
radio at the time.
401
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,671
Aw. What's the
use in having those
402
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:06,847
Egyptian cheekbones
403
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,463
if you're not gonna
contour them?
404
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,944
Come on, sister
friend. Take your brush.
405
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:13,215
What does it matter,
if my own daughter's
406
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,723
not talking to me?
407
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,031
May I help you?
408
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:20,468
Just checking. Still flawless.
409
00:14:20,555 --> 00:14:22,165
The perfect storm.
410
00:14:25,168 --> 00:14:27,078
Some people are so vain.
411
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,220
I know.
412
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,307
As I was saying, I don't
know if I can hold this
413
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:33,813
telethon together when
i'm in so much pain.
414
00:14:33,829 --> 00:14:35,089
Oh, how could anyone?
415
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:38,228
But the ill-attired,
single moms need me.
416
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,972
True. The show must go on.
417
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,193
Oh, I just don't know.
What should I do?
418
00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:44,712
I hate seeing my diva down.
419
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,926
Maybe you should try
talking to Dee Dee again.
420
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,336
You know, this whole
mother-daughter conflict
421
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:49,535
is giving you worry lines,
422
00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,717
and that concerns me.
423
00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:55,163
I don't have a line on my face.
424
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:59,202
Could you find your own mirror?
425
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:05,508
Daddy, what are you doing here?
426
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,040
Your mother called and
told me what happened.
427
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,084
So, how are things going?
428
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:13,040
Well, fine. Terrific.
Never better.
429
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:16,649
Are you really my father?
430
00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:18,741
Well, how do you
expect me to feel?
431
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,110
I discover after all these years
432
00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:23,880
that my very existence
is based on a lie.
433
00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:25,876
Sweetheart, let me
try and put things
434
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,138
in perspective.
435
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,151
You see, your mother
and I were already
436
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,413
planning our wedding
437
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:32,685
when we found out
that she was 4 months
438
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,024
pregnant with you.
439
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:35,627
4 months?
440
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:36,957
But mom looked so skinny in all
441
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,459
your wedding pictures.
442
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:40,086
That's because she
surrounded herself with
443
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:44,073
really fat bridesmaids.
444
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,210
Had me pack on 20.
445
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:50,055
We just never felt it was
something we needed
446
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:52,173
to share with you.
447
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,205
But it's just so embarrassing.
448
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:58,131
It really shouldn't
be.[Door opens]
449
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:02,308
I'll give you two a moment.
450
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:06,006
Just know I was the one
that wanted to tell you.
451
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:10,816
I suppose your father
already gave you all
452
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,709
the unsavory details.
453
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:17,107
His years with Phyllis
made him an expert.
454
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,413
What I still can't figure out
455
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,630
is why you are obsessed
with rewriting history
456
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,380
to make everything seem perfect.
457
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:28,342
I'd love to have some
fabulous explanation like,
458
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:31,212
"I'm an actress and
it's all about illusion."
459
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,214
But that's not it.
460
00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:36,556
Dear, this wasn't about you.
461
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:39,217
It was about me and my shame
462
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:43,652
and my need to have
the proper public image.
463
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:45,611
But more importantly,
I didn't tell you
464
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:47,200
because I didn't want
you to feel like you
465
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:48,403
were "less than,"
466
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,875
that you were "a mistake."
467
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:52,916
But by not telling
me, that's exactly how
468
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,142
you made me feel.
469
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:58,230
I realize that now,
but you gotta know
470
00:16:58,321 --> 00:17:00,631
you were the best thing a
poor girl from rocky mount,
471
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,055
north Carolina,
472
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:04,461
ever did with her life.
473
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:08,805
You made me whole.
474
00:17:08,897 --> 00:17:13,157
Oh.
475
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,509
Mom, I appreciate your trying to
476
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,119
protect me,
477
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,490
but I need you to
promise me that
478
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,599
from now on
479
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,390
you're gonna be
completely honest.
480
00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:24,255
With you, yes. I'll try.
481
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:25,927
But with your father,
it's still gonna be...
482
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:29,307
Both: "Buy, lie, and deny."
483
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:32,526
[Both laugh]
484
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,096
And as we approach our goal,
485
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:38,193
let me remind you what
a great cause this is.
486
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:40,844
Mona, promise me in the future
487
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:42,579
you'll tell me everything.
488
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,670
Ok.
489
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,854
You were totally bald
490
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:49,243
and wore a baby
wig until you were 2.
491
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,899
God, you're just
like your mother.
492
00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,723
And don't forget tomorrow,
493
00:17:53,811 --> 00:17:55,201
I'll be doing the weather live
494
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:57,861
from the cell of the
birdman of Alcatraz.
495
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,816
I'm predicting it'll
be lonely and damp
496
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,434
with no chance of escape.
497
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:04,995
[Chuckles]
498
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,654
And now, it's my
pleasure to introduce
499
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:07,907
an amazing talent
500
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:10,219
and our biggest donor today...
501
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:13,656
The one, the only
Dee Dee lafontaine!
502
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:15,314
Dee Dee lafontaine?!
503
00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:18,658
What? Did somebody
say, "send in the clowns"?
504
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:23,359
[Cheering and applause]
505
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:26,500
Thank you. And
for my first number...
506
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:28,673
Her first number?! Oh, hell, no.
507
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,149
I'm going to sing
a wonderful song
508
00:18:30,239 --> 00:18:31,239
of independence
509
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,887
and enduring love.
510
00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:35,111
Maestro.
511
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:40,291
[You're all I need
to get by begins]
512
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,730
♪ Like the sweet morning dew ♪
513
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:45,207
♪ I took one look at you ♪
514
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,038
♪ and it was plain to see ♪
515
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,426
♪ you were my destiny ♪
516
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,609
♪ with arms open wide ♪
517
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,516
♪ I threw away my pride ♪
518
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,701
♪ I'll sacrifice for you ♪
519
00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:59,267
♪ dedicate my life to y... ♪
520
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,575
♪ I will go where you lead ♪
521
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:04,232
♪ always there in time of need ♪
522
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:06,407
♪ and when I lose my will ♪
523
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:08,843
♪ you'll be there to
push me up the hill ♪
524
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:13,460
Both: ♪ there's no, no
looking back for us ♪
525
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:15,203
They both have some pipes!
526
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,034
Sing it, sistahs.
527
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:18,902
♪ ...that's enough ♪
528
00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:19,983
♪ you're all ♪
529
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:22,771
♪ you're all I need ♪
530
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,417
♪ to get by ♪
531
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,081
♪ like an eagle
protects its nest ♪
532
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,375
♪ for you I'll do my best ♪
533
00:19:28,471 --> 00:19:30,691
♪ stand by you like a tree ♪
534
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,078
♪ and dare anybody
to try and move me ♪
535
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:37,742
Both: ♪ 'cause we, we
got the right foundation ♪
536
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,528
And I married both of them!
537
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:41,483
What was I thinking?!
538
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,791
♪ ...determination ♪
539
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,437
♪ you're all ♪
540
00:19:44,531 --> 00:19:46,321
♪ you're all I
want to strive for ♪
541
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:47,932
♪ and do a little more for ♪
542
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:50,102
♪ all, all the joys ♪
543
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,189
♪ under the sun,
wrapped up into one ♪
544
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:53,708
♪ you're all ♪
545
00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:58,281
♪ you're all I need ♪
546
00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:01,111
♪ you're all I need... ♪
547
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:06,207
You look so beautiful
in your wedding pictures.
548
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,772
I can barely tell
you're pregnant.
549
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:10,508
Thank god for cousins who
cheat on weight watchers.
550
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,080
Wait a minute...
Who's this behind
551
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,387
the pillar?
552
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,653
It looks like...
553
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,515
My mom! She was at your wedding?
554
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,126
News to me.
555
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,957
But it does explain
who snapped the bride's
556
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:22,184
head off the wedding cake.
557
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,029
Woman: Woohoo! [Giggling]
558
00:20:49,079 --> 00:20:53,629
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38461
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
