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1
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,484
Hey, Mona, I brought your...
2
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,791
Shh - I'm playing word whomp,
3
00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:10,007
and I'm about to
get the highest score.
4
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:14,137
Yes! Nobody unscrambles
on the fly like me.
5
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,971
Take it where
you can get it, sis.
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,540
Now, I will just type in
7
00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,847
my screen name.
8
00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:23,202
Curly mo. And... hey.
9
00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,554
I only got the second
10
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,763
highest score.
11
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,031
Some idiot named
Tiffany law beat me?
12
00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,195
That idiot is me.
13
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,941
Tiffany, my favorite
jewelry store.
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,902
Law, law student. Isn't it cute?
15
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,121
No. I've been working to be
16
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,210
number one on this for months.
17
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:39,909
I know how you feel.
18
00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,606
One time I came in second,
19
00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,093
and it drove my crazy.
20
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,653
But it just made me
wanna work harder
21
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,310
to be the best.
22
00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,314
Really?
23
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,215
No, I made it up.
24
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:52,010
I was the number one
storyteller in girl scouts.
25
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:59,024
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
26
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:03,722
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪
27
00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,892
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
28
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,109
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
29
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:09,979
♪ brings out the joy ♪
30
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,640
♪ inside of me ♪
31
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:16,545
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
32
00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,251
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
33
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,729
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
34
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,430
♪ you and me ♪
35
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:27,648
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
36
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:33,917
Good morning.
37
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,006
Hey, man.
38
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,401
I finally built the perfect
39
00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:37,397
music library.
40
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:38,398
Man, I got play lists to
41
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,399
get dressed with,
42
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:40,400
to workout with,
43
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,511
and, my personal favorite,
44
00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:44,016
music to funk the ladies with.
45
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,804
Ew.
46
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,980
All I have in my iPod
is some techno crap
47
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:53,676
my ex-boyfriend
dieter loaded for me.
48
00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:54,585
Dieter?
49
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:55,769
The German guy.
50
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:59,164
You know, the
one I call das Booty.
51
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,599
Anyway, can I
download your library?
52
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:02,706
I'll stop staring
at your biscuits
53
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,081
when you walk by.
54
00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,557
Man, with all the time and money
55
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:06,557
I put into this,
56
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,668
if you want it, you're gonna
57
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:08,562
have to pay for it.
58
00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:13,740
I never pay for it.
59
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:14,999
Good morning.
60
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,011
Hey, Mona. Why the long face?
61
00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,533
Did that creepy guy at the deli
62
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,096
hit on you again?
63
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,973
"Mona, I can make you happy.
64
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,934
I love you."
65
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,493
No, it's Dee Dee. She beat me
66
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,930
at word whomp.
67
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,836
Oh, that's rough.
68
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:31,981
I'm surprised you
even got out of bed.
69
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,414
I know it's not a
big deal to you,
70
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:34,941
but it is to me.
71
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634
I mean, if I do 10
reps at the gym,
72
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:37,981
Dee Dee's gotta do 20.
73
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:38,900
If I get hit on,
74
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,034
she gets proposed to.
75
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,026
Our whole lives,
76
00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,417
she's always had to outdo me.
77
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,654
Potato latke, mister?
Only 50 cents.
78
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,083
Who knew?
79
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,411
Mona: And, of
course, you know who
80
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,003
had to have her
own little stand.
81
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,477
Gourmet cookie, mister?
82
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,047
I've got chocolate chip,
83
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,184
chocolate chocolate chip,
84
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,567
chocolate chip with pecans,
85
00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,049
white chocolate chip.
86
00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,049
How are my little
87
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,010
businesswomen?
88
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:07,357
Not good. I don't get it.
89
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,008
My grandma Sophie
says her potato latkes
90
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,321
are a hit at all our
hanukkah parties.
91
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,578
Well, I'll take 2.
92
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,940
Mmm!
93
00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:23,767
Here, mommy.
94
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,115
Wash out the nasty
with some water.
95
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,596
I've got bottled water,
96
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,815
water with lemon,
97
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,994
water with lime, iced water...
98
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,741
Dee Dee's always had to top me.
99
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:34,652
And I've already given up on
100
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,996
all the big stuff.
101
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,365
She'll always be thinner
and younger than me.
102
00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,091
But now she's
moving in on my turf,
103
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,255
the worthless
trivia of daily life,
104
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,661
and I'm not having it.
105
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,435
So beat her at something.
106
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,439
There's gotta be something
107
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,750
you're better at.
108
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,706
Wearing chunky shoes.
109
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,014
Getting dumped by guys.
110
00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,671
Hiding things in your hair.
111
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,406
Ok, game over.
112
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,327
♪ I'm begging baby ♪
113
00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,892
♪ baby I'm begging ♪
114
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:02,678
♪ baby, I'm begging,
I'm begging, baby ♪
115
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:06,464
♪ baby I'm begging,
baby, I'm begging ♪
116
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,900
♪ baby baby ♪
117
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,676
All: ♪ ooh ♪
118
00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,991
♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
119
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,557
All right, Atlanta.
120
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,205
♪ So that sounds real good ♪
121
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,039
♪ but I don't think
they heard, y'all ♪
122
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,387
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
123
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:23,517
♪ ohh, ohh, ohh ♪
124
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:26,271
♪ whoa ♪
125
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,313
Ok, let's eat.
126
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,178
What's that?
127
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,579
Bread, cheese, veggies.
128
00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,662
What? You invited me
down to make sandwiches,
129
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:34,951
so I brought some things I knew
130
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,150
you wouldn't have.
131
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,452
Like things to make sandwiches.
132
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,929
Of course, you did.
133
00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,108
Ooh, Mona, I need your advice.
134
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,684
Remember my law
professor Martin Wilkins?
135
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:48,202
I remember you're in law school.
136
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,028
I love how close we've become.
137
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,696
Anyway, he's going
through a bitter divorce,
138
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,467
so some of the
students are taking turns
139
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,425
entertaining him.
140
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,562
This Friday is my turn,
141
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:57,804
and I want my night to be better
142
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,119
than anybody else's.
143
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,081
Well, what does he like?
144
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,690
Complaining about his wife,
145
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:05,570
praising my superior
performance.
146
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:06,803
Hey, does he like to play cards?
147
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,918
How about poker?
148
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,003
It's hip, it's fun,
149
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,011
and all the b-level celebrities
150
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,222
are playing it?
151
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,311
And I know both Spencer
152
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,485
and Adam play.
153
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,884
Oh, yeah!
154
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,206
I can impress professor Wilkins
155
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:18,232
with my black
history playing cards.
156
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,358
Clarence Thomas is the joker.
157
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,107
Hey, Mona.
158
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:28,436
I brought a bag of photos of us
159
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:29,552
from the eighties.
160
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,743
Thought we'd put
'em in a scrapbook
161
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:31,675
and call it
162
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,456
"what were we thinking?"
163
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,071
I can't. I'm playing poker
164
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,081
at Dee Dee's.
165
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,342
Oh, I love poker.
166
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,205
Texas hold 'em is my game.
167
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,876
Oh, sorry, mom. We're
playing a new game.
168
00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,296
It's called no mamas allowed.
169
00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,827
Come on, you gotta
let me in on this.
170
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:46,907
Remember when I taught you
171
00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,168
how to play?
172
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,500
Yeah, you told me
it would be more fun
173
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:50,873
than watching TV.
174
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:51,789
That's because
they had taken away
175
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,223
our illegal cable box,
176
00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:54,879
and I had to entertain
you somehow.
177
00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:58,753
You'd eaten all your crayons.
178
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,436
Well, I talked Dee
Dee into playing poker
179
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,670
so I could finally
beat her at something.
180
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,063
Everything in my
life is starting to click.
181
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:06,317
My hair is working,
182
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,849
I found a good lipstick color,
183
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,192
and then Dee Dee goes and makes
184
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,411
the perfect sandwich,
185
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,070
and I'm in a bad
mood for a week.
186
00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,944
That girl does make
a mean sandwich.
187
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,635
Any leftovers?
188
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,733
Look, I know that it's petty,
189
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:18,992
but it bugs me,
190
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,084
and I ate the whole thing.
191
00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,343
Of course it's petty.
It's what we do best.
192
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,726
Is that something to brag about?
193
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,469
If it's all you got.
194
00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:34,259
[Knock on door]
195
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,130
Oh, professor Wilkins.
196
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,611
So glad you could make it.
197
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,751
Sorry I'm tardy.
198
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:39,983
I had to take public transport
199
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,788
with the unwashed masses.
200
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:45,009
My soon-to-be-ex-wife
got the Lexus.
201
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,230
Do you have any scotch?
Preferably lagavulin.
202
00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,889
It's exceedingly rare.
203
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,764
I just happen to have that.
204
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,806
You would.
205
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,202
Hey, guys.
206
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:57,325
Hey, what's up, peoples?
207
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,807
This is my boy
maceo from college.
208
00:06:58,896 --> 00:06:59,896
I woulda brought junebug,
209
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,074
but he's under house arrest.
210
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,031
You brought Mr. Kiss and tell?
211
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,860
I sense a dark
and dirty back story.
212
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,428
Dish.
213
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,855
There's nothing to tell.
214
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,341
Mona and I hooked up in college.
215
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,041
I was happy. I wanted
to tell somebody.
216
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,959
You got on a mic at a rally.
217
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,064
They printed it in the paper
218
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,828
the next day.
219
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:22,436
I didn't mean to
make you mad, girl.
220
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,721
Chasing your tail, Phyllis?
221
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,893
Did you learn that
from your cats?
222
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,419
I guess we humans
do take after our pets.
223
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,253
Your breath reminds me of coco.
224
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,252
Why are you headed
up to my daughter's?
225
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,684
They're playing poker,
but no mamas allowed,
226
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,561
and i'm tempted to crash.
227
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:50,753
Poor Phyllis, always going where
228
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,084
you're not wanted.
229
00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,428
I'm going where the action is.
230
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,127
Now, are you coming,
or are you afraid
231
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,874
I might take you
to the cleaners?
232
00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:02,655
Like you've ever
been to the cleaners.
233
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:05,306
You're in a good mood.
234
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,637
That's 'cause
we're playing poker.
235
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,660
The game, Texas hold 'em,
236
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,838
the pot, no limit.
237
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,973
Oh, professor,
your glass is empty.
238
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,575
More 1922 lagavulin?
239
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,666
Please.
240
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:17,504
I'll take some of that lagahula.
241
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,674
I think you've had enough.
242
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:19,779
You know how you
talk too damn much
243
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,073
when you drink.
244
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,852
Mona, I wouldn't have
bragged to anybody
245
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,497
if you hadn't been
such an animal in bed
246
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:27,807
and... i just did
it again, didn't I?
247
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:31,418
I'm so glad you're here.
248
00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:33,896
Hello? Hello?
249
00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:34,911
What's this? A poker party?
250
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,042
We want in.
251
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:39,434
And we won't take
no for an answer.
252
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,779
Please, ladies, join us.
253
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,568
What's 2 more women
taking money from me?
254
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,022
You hit a lucky
streak, maybe you can
255
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,045
win my pension,
256
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,313
since it's all I have left.
257
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,046
Single and morose.
258
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,007
Phyllis, this might be your
259
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,104
lucky night.
260
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,012
I hope you're not wearing your
261
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:55,926
granny panties.
262
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,363
I'm out. I'm in.
263
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:58,839
Come on, sixes.
264
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,059
Man, you're the worst poker
265
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,888
player ever.
266
00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:06,016
Can I borrow some
cash? He's kicking my ass.
267
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:06,980
No way.
268
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,458
I'm out. I got a hand
269
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,458
like a foot.
270
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,989
You said it, not me. I fold.
271
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,603
Me, too.
272
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:14,773
This is good.
273
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,138
Why do they call
this liverwurst?
274
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:20,654
They should call
this liver-best.
275
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:21,654
I'm out.
276
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:22,995
Of the hand, of my marriage,
277
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,134
of my house.
278
00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,606
I just want to crawl
into a hole and die.
279
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,657
Phyllis, I think he's flirting.
280
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,144
So, Spence, it's
just you and me,
281
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,493
and you're out of money.
282
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,793
But I will let you bet
your music play list.
283
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,930
Done.
284
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,583
Let's see the river.
285
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,187
Yay! 4 sixes!
286
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:47,018
Ha ha ha! Come to papa.
287
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,068
Beat by a guy in a man-scarf.
288
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,553
It's a dark day.
289
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:53,935
This is it, Dee Dee.
290
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,268
I've been waitin'
for this all night.
291
00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,350
I see your bet, and I raise you
292
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,638
everything I got.
293
00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:01,297
Go for it, baby. Make
your mama proud.
294
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,383
Call.
295
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:05,387
Straight, Jack high.
296
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:08,744
Oh, and I only have
5 pretty red ones.
297
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,865
Flush beats a straight.
Well played, Dee.
298
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,518
What? But how?
299
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,832
Well, after the flop,
300
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,417
there was a possible
straight on the table.
301
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,680
Then when you
didn't raise on the turn,
302
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,573
I got to see the
river for free and win.
303
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,231
Mona says you didn't play poker.
304
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,795
I don't except when I had
305
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,412
that private tutor
in monte Carlo.
306
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,103
Did I not mention that?
307
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,540
All: No.
308
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,058
The girl is a
ruthless competitor.
309
00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,891
Dee Dee Thorne
would eat her young.
310
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:37,770
I wish my in-laws had done that.
311
00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:38,884
Well, you know what, Dee Dee?
312
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:39,639
This is the last time
313
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:40,726
that I play with you
314
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,790
because you always have to win,
315
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,815
and you always have to be
316
00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:43,693
better than me.
317
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,083
That's not true.
318
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,466
And it's "i," better than "I."
319
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,779
Well, I, I, I don't give a damn.
320
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:55,736
That's it.
321
00:10:55,829 --> 00:11:00,359
No, that's it.
322
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:04,492
You must be very proud.
323
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,062
Mona Thorne, stop right there.
324
00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,498
What the hell was that?
325
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:13,894
Well, I can't take it anymore.
326
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,327
I thought I'd
found the one thing
327
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,893
to help even the
score with Dee Dee,
328
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,550
and then she turns
around and kicks my ass.
329
00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,715
She did do that.
330
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:22,861
But we are in the middle
331
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:23,943
of a war here,
332
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,097
and you do not just give up.
333
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,119
It's the haves versus the
334
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,213
have-nots.
335
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:30,115
Well, I know which
side we're on.
336
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:31,361
Look, this is bigger than you.
337
00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,036
I've had hot hands all night,
338
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,217
and I still have a chance
339
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:35,482
to take down a Dee Dee.
340
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:38,004
So you march
your sorry, sour ass
341
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,088
back up those stairs,
342
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,833
and support your have-not mama.
343
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,089
Luck be a lady tonight,
344
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,051
and that lady is me.
345
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,359
I am in.
346
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,494
Oh, a bold move by lady Dee.
347
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,857
Does she have a good poker face,
348
00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:52,886
or Botox paralysis?
349
00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:56,543
Only her plastic
surgeon knows for sure.
350
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,238
Too rich for my blood.
351
00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,496
Thank you, Dee Dee.
352
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,018
Tonight was a lovely distraction
353
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,591
from my hellish life.
354
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,199
You get an "a"
for entertainment.
355
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,809
But the intensity
of the older broads
356
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,290
is a bit much.
357
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,508
But professor, I have cake.
358
00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,711
It's probably chocolate with
359
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,913
brown nose frosting.
360
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,646
I'd take it to go,
but I'm sure my wife
361
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,167
would take that, too.
362
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,440
Which is why I'm going home
363
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:24,532
to Bury my golf
clubs in the yard.
364
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:26,273
And so, he leaves,
365
00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:29,494
another black man
broke by the system.
366
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,965
Now it's up to motown mama.
367
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,576
Will she call? Will she raise?
368
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,027
Will she slap you
upside your heads
369
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,110
if you don't shut up?
370
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,983
And it stings for days.
371
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:45,585
I see you, and I raise you.
372
00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,847
I don't seem to
have enough chips.
373
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:50,731
I'll call with this.
374
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:55,043
Oh, oh, your credit's no
good here, man hands.
375
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,652
I guess you can't afford
to play anymore, huh?
376
00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:58,803
The only thing I can't afford
377
00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,131
is to lose to the likes of you.
378
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,484
Mom, what are you doing?
379
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:02,693
That is your wedding ring.
380
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,222
Dee Dee, this is
war. Watch and learn.
381
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,916
Full house. Queens over kings.
382
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,404
That's a good hand, but too bad
383
00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,924
it's not good enough.
384
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,967
Full house, aces over kings.
385
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,623
But more importantly,
386
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:19,096
Phyllis over "big Dee Dee
don't got no ring no more."
387
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,499
You are not seriously
going to take my ring?
388
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:26,113
Oh, it doesn't get any
more serious than this.
389
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:30,066
Oh, now, that's weight
I don't mind gaining.
390
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,247
You keep the chips.
391
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,602
I got the rock.
392
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:36,989
Dee Dee: Mom?
393
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,077
I'm fine, dear. I'm fine.
394
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,511
It's just a ring.
395
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,651
Can I stay here with you?
396
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,782
Just until your father dies?
397
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:49,484
♪ Take one half,
I'll take the other ♪
398
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:53,087
♪ and just like that,
we're drawn together ♪
399
00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,100
♪ I know sometimes
we might fight ♪
400
00:13:56,183 --> 00:14:00,273
♪ but hopefully
it's nice tonight ♪
401
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:06,981
♪ and I don't try
to say it's easy ♪
402
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,353
Maybe I'm crazy,
but it sounds like
403
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,629
she's singing about
me and my sister.
404
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,289
Yeah, kinda.
405
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:15,163
I can't concentrate.
406
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,115
I still can't believe
Dee Dee beat me.
407
00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,994
Ah, you still
trippin' about that?
408
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,425
Well, what could I
have done differently?
409
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,992
Play better?
410
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,650
I'm serious.
411
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,954
Well, you play from the gut.
412
00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,961
Dee Dee calculates,
barely moves a muscle.
413
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,443
Except when she tucks her hair
414
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,652
behind her ears.
415
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:36,181
I noticed that 'cause
it's damn sexy.
416
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,786
Well, I noticed it 'cause
it's damn annoying.
417
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,658
Along with my constant losing.
418
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:41,899
In fact, it seems
that every time
419
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:42,844
she tucked her hair back,
420
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,145
I lost.
421
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,452
Hey, do you know
what this means?
422
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:51,018
Dee Dee's sexy
and you're a loser?
423
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,497
Dee Dee has a tell.
424
00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,807
She tucks when
she has a good hand.
425
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,034
And now that I know that,
426
00:14:56,112 --> 00:15:01,292
guess who's making
a poker comeback?
427
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:05,378
You better just tell me.
428
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,520
Hey, like the new outfit
429
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,825
I bought to match my ring?
430
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,393
Ok, mom, you've had your fun
431
00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,959
and you made big Dee Dee sweat,
432
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,496
but there's no way
that you can keep that.
433
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:19,546
That's what your father said
434
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,440
about the washer and dryer when
435
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:21,568
I divorced him,
436
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,229
but it's still
workin', ain't it?
437
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:27,014
That's not the point.
438
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,450
Mona, we've decided to
439
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:29,536
take you up
440
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:30,784
on your request for a rematch.
441
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:31,579
It's only fair that my mother
442
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:32,499
get a chance to win her
443
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,583
ring back.
444
00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:34,541
Oh, my god! She's wearing it!
445
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,239
And with that outfit.
446
00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,016
Rematch? What rematch?
447
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,291
I set up another game
'cause you're on a roll.
448
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:41,534
Besides, remember the big speech
449
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,609
you gave me about the haves
450
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,067
and the have-nots?
451
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:44,990
Wake up, curly. The have-nots
452
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,474
have it.
453
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:49,916
And wouldn't you
like some earrings
454
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,209
to go with it?
455
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,779
Now you're talking.
456
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,385
Ok, it's on.
457
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,776
I'm gonna win your jewelry
458
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:57,998
and your car, too.
459
00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,387
You can keep the little man.
460
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:05,701
Oh, come on, big girl.
461
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:06,700
We ain't got all day.
462
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:07,971
Lay 'em or play 'em.
463
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,054
They win a few hands
464
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:09,928
and suddenly we're playing with
465
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,452
the wu tang clan.
466
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:12,925
What's the matter,
can't run with
467
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,095
the high rollers?
468
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,630
Oh, Phyllis, as if your thighs
469
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:16,713
allow you to run
470
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,071
without starting a flash fire.
471
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:22,332
I fold.
472
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,246
I call and I raise you.
473
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,722
Why are you staring at my hair?
474
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,681
Oh, no reason.
So, you wanna play.
475
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:33,041
Well, I will pay to
see what you've got.
476
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:36,262
I got... A whole lot
477
00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,393
of nothing.
478
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,004
Yes, take that,
miss Tiffany law.
479
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,406
You'll probably be
sore in the morning
480
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,665
since you're not used to flexing
481
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,437
your loser muscle.
482
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,956
Coupon-clippers up one.
483
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,529
High-falutin fools
down 7 carats.
484
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,398
All right, we get it. You won.
485
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,839
Oh, I don't think you do get it,
486
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:58,885
cause we won. We won.
487
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,850
[Knock on door]
488
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,114
What are you doing?
489
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:08,897
When I feel down, I paraffin.
490
00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,904
Look, I'm sorry for
what I said in there.
491
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:11,896
It should've been enough
492
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:12,987
that I beat you.
493
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,642
I just... I got carried away.
494
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:18,909
It was an ugly
side of you, Mona.
495
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,604
Believe me, when I saw my mother
496
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,001
take it to a whole
'nother level,
497
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,524
I realized just how ugly it was.
498
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,438
Why is beating me
so important to you?
499
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:28,964
'Cause it's absolutely no fun
500
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,438
always losing to you.
501
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,048
And you're so damn competitive.
502
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,179
I am not competitive.
503
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:38,450
I just can't stand losing.
504
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,575
If I'm not the best,
then what am I?
505
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,498
Like everybody else.
506
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:47,283
Mona, I feel bad enough already.
507
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,680
Wow, this thing is deep for you.
508
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:50,944
I mean, you're in competition
509
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,286
with the whole world,
510
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,025
not just me.
511
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,676
I guess I'm the one
who made it personal
512
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,160
all these years.
513
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,340
Well, stop doing that.
514
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,945
It's just dragging you down.
515
00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,726
Mona, this is who I am,
516
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,080
and there's no shaking it.
517
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,350
I have no idea where I get it.
518
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,873
Listen up, there's
still a battle
519
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,176
going on out there.
520
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,542
And as long as I have
breath in my body,
521
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,567
and my ring's on that
scarecrow's finger,
522
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,176
we keep playing.
523
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:19,098
I said we keep playing!
524
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,055
Ok, maybe I have
an inkling where
525
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,145
it comes from.
526
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:28,374
We all have our burdens to bear.
527
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,605
And you know it's
wrong for your burden
528
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:30,500
to be wearing my burden's
529
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,367
wedding ring.
530
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,029
Well, what can we do?
531
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,853
I tried talking my
mom into giving it back,
532
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,210
but she threatened
to swallow it.
533
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,419
I'm all in, and it looks like
534
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,471
your winning streak
has come to an end.
535
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:47,387
What're you gonna do, call? Cry?
536
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:50,834
Well, I got 5 bucks
and an altoid left.
537
00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:51,962
Ma?
538
00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:54,053
I don't have any money.
539
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,143
Well, what about the ring?
540
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,752
What about it?
541
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,714
Look at my cards. I'm
gonna clean her out.
542
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:03,973
I haven't even shown this off
543
00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,705
at my parents without
partners meeting.
544
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,316
Ma, you only go for the free
545
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,317
coffee and pie.
546
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:09,708
Fork it over.
547
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,060
Oh, I'm sorry. I can't seem
548
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,370
to get it off.
549
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,066
Aces and Jacks.
550
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,365
3 kings. Read 'em and weep.
551
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,511
Give me back my bling.
552
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:20,943
I don't wanna.
553
00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,139
I have a hacksaw in my trunk,
554
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,381
and I'm not afraid to use it.
555
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,687
I'd make you cut it off,
556
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:29,303
but it's not the finger
I wanna give you.
557
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,127
Your performance was wonderful.
558
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,568
So was yours.
559
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,354
Was it hard being
on that swollen hand?
560
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,879
Oh, my god! How does she
561
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,752
stretch out platinum?
562
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,668
Dude, you've had
my music for days.
563
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:54,194
Give it back.
564
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,889
Adam, what did you do?
565
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,370
Man, there's nothing
on here but... but...
566
00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:05,641
[imitates techno music]
567
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:06,936
What's up with that?
568
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,401
Ok, I tried to put
your play list on mine,
569
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,864
but somehow dieter's dance mix
570
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:11,247
got on yours instead.
571
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,078
You deleted my entire library?
572
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:18,040
How do you wanna die?
573
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,959
In a hot tub with Jackie chan.
574
00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:24,045
Aah! Hurting! Hurting! Hurting!
575
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,550
Woman: Woohoo! [Giggles]
576
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:53,150
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