All language subtitles for Half And Half s03e12 All Bets Are Off.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,484 Hey, Mona, I brought your... 2 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,791 Shh - I'm playing word whomp, 3 00:00:07,877 --> 00:00:10,007 and I'm about to get the highest score. 4 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:14,137 Yes! Nobody unscrambles on the fly like me. 5 00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,971 Take it where you can get it, sis. 6 00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,540 Now, I will just type in 7 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,847 my screen name. 8 00:00:19,932 --> 00:00:23,202 Curly mo. And... hey. 9 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:24,554 I only got the second 10 00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:25,763 highest score. 11 00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:28,031 Some idiot named Tiffany law beat me? 12 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,195 That idiot is me. 13 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,941 Tiffany, my favorite jewelry store. 14 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,902 Law, law student. Isn't it cute? 15 00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:36,121 No. I've been working to be 16 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,210 number one on this for months. 17 00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:39,909 I know how you feel. 18 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,606 One time I came in second, 19 00:00:41,693 --> 00:00:43,093 and it drove my crazy. 20 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,653 But it just made me wanna work harder 21 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,310 to be the best. 22 00:00:46,394 --> 00:00:47,314 Really? 23 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,215 No, I made it up. 24 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:52,010 I was the number one storyteller in girl scouts. 25 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:59,024 ♪ Through this journey of discovery ♪ 26 00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:03,722 ♪ you're finding you, I'm finding me ♪ 27 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:06,892 ♪ now that I have someone special ♪ 28 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,109 ♪ who brings out the joy ♪ 29 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:09,979 ♪ brings out the joy ♪ 30 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:13,640 ♪ inside of me ♪ 31 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:16,545 ♪ we can become whatever we want ♪ 32 00:01:16,641 --> 00:01:18,251 ♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪ 33 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,729 ♪ that's the way I feel it should be ♪ 34 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,430 ♪ you and me ♪ 35 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:27,648 [Off-key] ♪ me ♪ 36 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:33,917 Good morning. 37 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,006 Hey, man. 38 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,401 I finally built the perfect 39 00:01:36,487 --> 00:01:37,397 music library. 40 00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:38,398 Man, I got play lists to 41 00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,399 get dressed with, 42 00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:40,400 to workout with, 43 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,511 and, my personal favorite, 44 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:44,016 music to funk the ladies with. 45 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,804 Ew. 46 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,980 All I have in my iPod is some techno crap 47 00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:53,676 my ex-boyfriend dieter loaded for me. 48 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:54,585 Dieter? 49 00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:55,769 The German guy. 50 00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:59,164 You know, the one I call das Booty. 51 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,599 Anyway, can I download your library? 52 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:02,706 I'll stop staring at your biscuits 53 00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,081 when you walk by. 54 00:02:04,167 --> 00:02:05,557 Man, with all the time and money 55 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:06,557 I put into this, 56 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:07,668 if you want it, you're gonna 57 00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:08,562 have to pay for it. 58 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:13,740 I never pay for it. 59 00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:14,999 Good morning. 60 00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,011 Hey, Mona. Why the long face? 61 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:18,533 Did that creepy guy at the deli 62 00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,096 hit on you again? 63 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:21,973 "Mona, I can make you happy. 64 00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,934 I love you." 65 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,493 No, it's Dee Dee. She beat me 66 00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:26,930 at word whomp. 67 00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,836 Oh, that's rough. 68 00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:31,981 I'm surprised you even got out of bed. 69 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,414 I know it's not a big deal to you, 70 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:34,941 but it is to me. 71 00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,634 I mean, if I do 10 reps at the gym, 72 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:37,981 Dee Dee's gotta do 20. 73 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:38,900 If I get hit on, 74 00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,034 she gets proposed to. 75 00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,026 Our whole lives, 76 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,417 she's always had to outdo me. 77 00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,654 Potato latke, mister? Only 50 cents. 78 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,083 Who knew? 79 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,411 Mona: And, of course, you know who 80 00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,003 had to have her own little stand. 81 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,477 Gourmet cookie, mister? 82 00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,047 I've got chocolate chip, 83 00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,184 chocolate chocolate chip, 84 00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,567 chocolate chip with pecans, 85 00:03:01,659 --> 00:03:03,049 white chocolate chip. 86 00:03:03,139 --> 00:03:04,049 How are my little 87 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:05,010 businesswomen? 88 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:07,357 Not good. I don't get it. 89 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,008 My grandma Sophie says her potato latkes 90 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,321 are a hit at all our hanukkah parties. 91 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,578 Well, I'll take 2. 92 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:21,940 Mmm! 93 00:03:22,027 --> 00:03:23,767 Here, mommy. 94 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,115 Wash out the nasty with some water. 95 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,596 I've got bottled water, 96 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:28,815 water with lemon, 97 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,994 water with lime, iced water... 98 00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:33,741 Dee Dee's always had to top me. 99 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:34,652 And I've already given up on 100 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,996 all the big stuff. 101 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:37,365 She'll always be thinner and younger than me. 102 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:39,091 But now she's moving in on my turf, 103 00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,255 the worthless trivia of daily life, 104 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,661 and I'm not having it. 105 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,435 So beat her at something. 106 00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,439 There's gotta be something 107 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:47,750 you're better at. 108 00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,706 Wearing chunky shoes. 109 00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:52,014 Getting dumped by guys. 110 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,671 Hiding things in your hair. 111 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,406 Ok, game over. 112 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,327 ♪ I'm begging baby ♪ 113 00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,892 ♪ baby I'm begging ♪ 114 00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:02,678 ♪ baby, I'm begging, I'm begging, baby ♪ 115 00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:06,464 ♪ baby I'm begging, baby, I'm begging ♪ 116 00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:07,900 ♪ baby baby ♪ 117 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,676 All: ♪ ooh ♪ 118 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,991 ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 119 00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:14,557 All right, Atlanta. 120 00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:16,205 ♪ So that sounds real good ♪ 121 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,039 ♪ but I don't think they heard, y'all ♪ 122 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,387 ♪ oh, oh, oh ♪ 123 00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:23,517 ♪ ohh, ohh, ohh ♪ 124 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:26,271 ♪ whoa ♪ 125 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,313 Ok, let's eat. 126 00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:29,178 What's that? 127 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,579 Bread, cheese, veggies. 128 00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:33,662 What? You invited me down to make sandwiches, 129 00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:34,951 so I brought some things I knew 130 00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,150 you wouldn't have. 131 00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,452 Like things to make sandwiches. 132 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:39,929 Of course, you did. 133 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:42,108 Ooh, Mona, I need your advice. 134 00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,684 Remember my law professor Martin Wilkins? 135 00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:48,202 I remember you're in law school. 136 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,028 I love how close we've become. 137 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,696 Anyway, he's going through a bitter divorce, 138 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,467 so some of the students are taking turns 139 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,425 entertaining him. 140 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:56,562 This Friday is my turn, 141 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:57,804 and I want my night to be better 142 00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,119 than anybody else's. 143 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,081 Well, what does he like? 144 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,690 Complaining about his wife, 145 00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:05,570 praising my superior performance. 146 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:06,803 Hey, does he like to play cards? 147 00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,918 How about poker? 148 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,003 It's hip, it's fun, 149 00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,011 and all the b-level celebrities 150 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,222 are playing it? 151 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,311 And I know both Spencer 152 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,485 and Adam play. 153 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,884 Oh, yeah! 154 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,206 I can impress professor Wilkins 155 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:18,232 with my black history playing cards. 156 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,358 Clarence Thomas is the joker. 157 00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,107 Hey, Mona. 158 00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:28,436 I brought a bag of photos of us 159 00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:29,552 from the eighties. 160 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,743 Thought we'd put 'em in a scrapbook 161 00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:31,675 and call it 162 00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:34,456 "what were we thinking?" 163 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,071 I can't. I'm playing poker 164 00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,081 at Dee Dee's. 165 00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,342 Oh, I love poker. 166 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,205 Texas hold 'em is my game. 167 00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,876 Oh, sorry, mom. We're playing a new game. 168 00:05:41,906 --> 00:05:44,296 It's called no mamas allowed. 169 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:45,827 Come on, you gotta let me in on this. 170 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:46,907 Remember when I taught you 171 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:48,168 how to play? 172 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,500 Yeah, you told me it would be more fun 173 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:50,873 than watching TV. 174 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:51,789 That's because they had taken away 175 00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,223 our illegal cable box, 176 00:05:53,309 --> 00:05:54,879 and I had to entertain you somehow. 177 00:05:54,963 --> 00:05:58,753 You'd eaten all your crayons. 178 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,436 Well, I talked Dee Dee into playing poker 179 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,670 so I could finally beat her at something. 180 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,063 Everything in my life is starting to click. 181 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:06,317 My hair is working, 182 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,849 I found a good lipstick color, 183 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,192 and then Dee Dee goes and makes 184 00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,411 the perfect sandwich, 185 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,070 and I'm in a bad mood for a week. 186 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,944 That girl does make a mean sandwich. 187 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,635 Any leftovers? 188 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,733 Look, I know that it's petty, 189 00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:18,992 but it bugs me, 190 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,084 and I ate the whole thing. 191 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,343 Of course it's petty. It's what we do best. 192 00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:24,726 Is that something to brag about? 193 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,469 If it's all you got. 194 00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:34,259 [Knock on door] 195 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,130 Oh, professor Wilkins. 196 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:37,611 So glad you could make it. 197 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,751 Sorry I'm tardy. 198 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:39,983 I had to take public transport 199 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,788 with the unwashed masses. 200 00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:45,009 My soon-to-be-ex-wife got the Lexus. 201 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,230 Do you have any scotch? Preferably lagavulin. 202 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,889 It's exceedingly rare. 203 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,764 I just happen to have that. 204 00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,806 You would. 205 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,202 Hey, guys. 206 00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:57,325 Hey, what's up, peoples? 207 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,807 This is my boy maceo from college. 208 00:06:58,896 --> 00:06:59,896 I woulda brought junebug, 209 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:03,074 but he's under house arrest. 210 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,031 You brought Mr. Kiss and tell? 211 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,860 I sense a dark and dirty back story. 212 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:08,428 Dish. 213 00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:09,855 There's nothing to tell. 214 00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:11,341 Mona and I hooked up in college. 215 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,041 I was happy. I wanted to tell somebody. 216 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,959 You got on a mic at a rally. 217 00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,064 They printed it in the paper 218 00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,828 the next day. 219 00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:22,436 I didn't mean to make you mad, girl. 220 00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,721 Chasing your tail, Phyllis? 221 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,893 Did you learn that from your cats? 222 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,419 I guess we humans do take after our pets. 223 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,253 Your breath reminds me of coco. 224 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:45,252 Why are you headed up to my daughter's? 225 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,684 They're playing poker, but no mamas allowed, 226 00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,561 and i'm tempted to crash. 227 00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:50,753 Poor Phyllis, always going where 228 00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,084 you're not wanted. 229 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:54,428 I'm going where the action is. 230 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,127 Now, are you coming, or are you afraid 231 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,874 I might take you to the cleaners? 232 00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:02,655 Like you've ever been to the cleaners. 233 00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:05,306 You're in a good mood. 234 00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,637 That's 'cause we're playing poker. 235 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,660 The game, Texas hold 'em, 236 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,838 the pot, no limit. 237 00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:10,973 Oh, professor, your glass is empty. 238 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:12,575 More 1922 lagavulin? 239 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:13,666 Please. 240 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:17,504 I'll take some of that lagahula. 241 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,674 I think you've had enough. 242 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:19,779 You know how you talk too damn much 243 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,073 when you drink. 244 00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:22,852 Mona, I wouldn't have bragged to anybody 245 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,497 if you hadn't been such an animal in bed 246 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:27,807 and... i just did it again, didn't I? 247 00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:31,418 I'm so glad you're here. 248 00:08:32,816 --> 00:08:33,896 Hello? Hello? 249 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:34,911 What's this? A poker party? 250 00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,042 We want in. 251 00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:39,434 And we won't take no for an answer. 252 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:40,779 Please, ladies, join us. 253 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,568 What's 2 more women taking money from me? 254 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,022 You hit a lucky streak, maybe you can 255 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,045 win my pension, 256 00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,313 since it's all I have left. 257 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,046 Single and morose. 258 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,007 Phyllis, this might be your 259 00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:51,104 lucky night. 260 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:52,012 I hope you're not wearing your 261 00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:55,926 granny panties. 262 00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,363 I'm out. I'm in. 263 00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:58,839 Come on, sixes. 264 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:00,059 Man, you're the worst poker 265 00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,888 player ever. 266 00:09:01,976 --> 00:09:06,016 Can I borrow some cash? He's kicking my ass. 267 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:06,980 No way. 268 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,458 I'm out. I got a hand 269 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,458 like a foot. 270 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,989 You said it, not me. I fold. 271 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,603 Me, too. 272 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:14,773 This is good. 273 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,138 Why do they call this liverwurst? 274 00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:20,654 They should call this liver-best. 275 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:21,654 I'm out. 276 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:22,995 Of the hand, of my marriage, 277 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,134 of my house. 278 00:09:25,216 --> 00:09:27,606 I just want to crawl into a hole and die. 279 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:30,657 Phyllis, I think he's flirting. 280 00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,144 So, Spence, it's just you and me, 281 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,493 and you're out of money. 282 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,793 But I will let you bet your music play list. 283 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,930 Done. 284 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,583 Let's see the river. 285 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,187 Yay! 4 sixes! 286 00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:47,018 Ha ha ha! Come to papa. 287 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,068 Beat by a guy in a man-scarf. 288 00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:52,553 It's a dark day. 289 00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:53,935 This is it, Dee Dee. 290 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,268 I've been waitin' for this all night. 291 00:09:55,290 --> 00:09:56,350 I see your bet, and I raise you 292 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:57,638 everything I got. 293 00:09:57,727 --> 00:10:01,297 Go for it, baby. Make your mama proud. 294 00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,383 Call. 295 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:05,387 Straight, Jack high. 296 00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:08,744 Oh, and I only have 5 pretty red ones. 297 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,865 Flush beats a straight. Well played, Dee. 298 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,518 What? But how? 299 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,832 Well, after the flop, 300 00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,417 there was a possible straight on the table. 301 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:16,680 Then when you didn't raise on the turn, 302 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,573 I got to see the river for free and win. 303 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,231 Mona says you didn't play poker. 304 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,795 I don't except when I had 305 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:24,412 that private tutor in monte Carlo. 306 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:26,103 Did I not mention that? 307 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,540 All: No. 308 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,058 The girl is a ruthless competitor. 309 00:10:30,151 --> 00:10:32,891 Dee Dee Thorne would eat her young. 310 00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:37,770 I wish my in-laws had done that. 311 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:38,884 Well, you know what, Dee Dee? 312 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:39,639 This is the last time 313 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:40,726 that I play with you 314 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,790 because you always have to win, 315 00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:42,815 and you always have to be 316 00:10:42,903 --> 00:10:43,693 better than me. 317 00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:45,083 That's not true. 318 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:47,466 And it's "i," better than "I." 319 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,779 Well, I, I, I don't give a damn. 320 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:55,736 That's it. 321 00:10:55,829 --> 00:11:00,359 No, that's it. 322 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:04,492 You must be very proud. 323 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:11,062 Mona Thorne, stop right there. 324 00:11:11,148 --> 00:11:12,498 What the hell was that? 325 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:13,894 Well, I can't take it anymore. 326 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,327 I thought I'd found the one thing 327 00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,893 to help even the score with Dee Dee, 328 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:19,550 and then she turns around and kicks my ass. 329 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,715 She did do that. 330 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:22,861 But we are in the middle 331 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:23,943 of a war here, 332 00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,097 and you do not just give up. 333 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,119 It's the haves versus the 334 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,213 have-nots. 335 00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:30,115 Well, I know which side we're on. 336 00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:31,361 Look, this is bigger than you. 337 00:11:31,386 --> 00:11:33,036 I've had hot hands all night, 338 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,217 and I still have a chance 339 00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:35,482 to take down a Dee Dee. 340 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:38,004 So you march your sorry, sour ass 341 00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,088 back up those stairs, 342 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,833 and support your have-not mama. 343 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,089 Luck be a lady tonight, 344 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,051 and that lady is me. 345 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,359 I am in. 346 00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,494 Oh, a bold move by lady Dee. 347 00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:49,857 Does she have a good poker face, 348 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:52,886 or Botox paralysis? 349 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:56,543 Only her plastic surgeon knows for sure. 350 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,238 Too rich for my blood. 351 00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,496 Thank you, Dee Dee. 352 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,018 Tonight was a lovely distraction 353 00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:03,591 from my hellish life. 354 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,199 You get an "a" for entertainment. 355 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,809 But the intensity of the older broads 356 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,290 is a bit much. 357 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,508 But professor, I have cake. 358 00:12:12,601 --> 00:12:13,711 It's probably chocolate with 359 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,913 brown nose frosting. 360 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,646 I'd take it to go, but I'm sure my wife 361 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,167 would take that, too. 362 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:20,440 Which is why I'm going home 363 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:24,532 to Bury my golf clubs in the yard. 364 00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:26,273 And so, he leaves, 365 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:29,494 another black man broke by the system. 366 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:32,965 Now it's up to motown mama. 367 00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:35,576 Will she call? Will she raise? 368 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,027 Will she slap you upside your heads 369 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,110 if you don't shut up? 370 00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,983 And it stings for days. 371 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:45,585 I see you, and I raise you. 372 00:12:45,677 --> 00:12:47,847 I don't seem to have enough chips. 373 00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:50,731 I'll call with this. 374 00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:55,043 Oh, oh, your credit's no good here, man hands. 375 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:57,652 I guess you can't afford to play anymore, huh? 376 00:12:57,733 --> 00:12:58,803 The only thing I can't afford 377 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,131 is to lose to the likes of you. 378 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,484 Mom, what are you doing? 379 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:02,693 That is your wedding ring. 380 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,222 Dee Dee, this is war. Watch and learn. 381 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,916 Full house. Queens over kings. 382 00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,404 That's a good hand, but too bad 383 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,924 it's not good enough. 384 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,967 Full house, aces over kings. 385 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:14,623 But more importantly, 386 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:19,096 Phyllis over "big Dee Dee don't got no ring no more." 387 00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:21,499 You are not seriously going to take my ring? 388 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:26,113 Oh, it doesn't get any more serious than this. 389 00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:30,066 Oh, now, that's weight I don't mind gaining. 390 00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,247 You keep the chips. 391 00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:33,602 I got the rock. 392 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:36,989 Dee Dee: Mom? 393 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,077 I'm fine, dear. I'm fine. 394 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,511 It's just a ring. 395 00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:40,651 Can I stay here with you? 396 00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:42,782 Just until your father dies? 397 00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:49,484 ♪ Take one half, I'll take the other ♪ 398 00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:53,087 ♪ and just like that, we're drawn together ♪ 399 00:13:53,180 --> 00:13:56,100 ♪ I know sometimes we might fight ♪ 400 00:13:56,183 --> 00:14:00,273 ♪ but hopefully it's nice tonight ♪ 401 00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:06,981 ♪ and I don't try to say it's easy ♪ 402 00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:08,353 Maybe I'm crazy, but it sounds like 403 00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,629 she's singing about me and my sister. 404 00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:12,289 Yeah, kinda. 405 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:15,163 I can't concentrate. 406 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,115 I still can't believe Dee Dee beat me. 407 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,994 Ah, you still trippin' about that? 408 00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:21,425 Well, what could I have done differently? 409 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,992 Play better? 410 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,650 I'm serious. 411 00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,954 Well, you play from the gut. 412 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,961 Dee Dee calculates, barely moves a muscle. 413 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,443 Except when she tucks her hair 414 00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,652 behind her ears. 415 00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:36,181 I noticed that 'cause it's damn sexy. 416 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,786 Well, I noticed it 'cause it's damn annoying. 417 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,658 Along with my constant losing. 418 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:41,899 In fact, it seems that every time 419 00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:42,844 she tucked her hair back, 420 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,145 I lost. 421 00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,452 Hey, do you know what this means? 422 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:51,018 Dee Dee's sexy and you're a loser? 423 00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:52,497 Dee Dee has a tell. 424 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:54,807 She tucks when she has a good hand. 425 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,034 And now that I know that, 426 00:14:56,112 --> 00:15:01,292 guess who's making a poker comeback? 427 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:05,378 You better just tell me. 428 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:10,520 Hey, like the new outfit 429 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:13,825 I bought to match my ring? 430 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,393 Ok, mom, you've had your fun 431 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,959 and you made big Dee Dee sweat, 432 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,496 but there's no way that you can keep that. 433 00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:19,546 That's what your father said 434 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,440 about the washer and dryer when 435 00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:21,568 I divorced him, 436 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:24,229 but it's still workin', ain't it? 437 00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:27,014 That's not the point. 438 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,450 Mona, we've decided to 439 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:29,536 take you up 440 00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:30,784 on your request for a rematch. 441 00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:31,579 It's only fair that my mother 442 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:32,499 get a chance to win her 443 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,583 ring back. 444 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:34,541 Oh, my god! She's wearing it! 445 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,239 And with that outfit. 446 00:15:36,326 --> 00:15:38,016 Rematch? What rematch? 447 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,291 I set up another game 'cause you're on a roll. 448 00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:41,534 Besides, remember the big speech 449 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,609 you gave me about the haves 450 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,067 and the have-nots? 451 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:44,990 Wake up, curly. The have-nots 452 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:48,474 have it. 453 00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:49,916 And wouldn't you like some earrings 454 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,209 to go with it? 455 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,779 Now you're talking. 456 00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:55,385 Ok, it's on. 457 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,776 I'm gonna win your jewelry 458 00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:57,998 and your car, too. 459 00:15:58,087 --> 00:16:00,387 You can keep the little man. 460 00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:05,701 Oh, come on, big girl. 461 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:06,700 We ain't got all day. 462 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:07,971 Lay 'em or play 'em. 463 00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,054 They win a few hands 464 00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:09,928 and suddenly we're playing with 465 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,452 the wu tang clan. 466 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:12,925 What's the matter, can't run with 467 00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,095 the high rollers? 468 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,630 Oh, Phyllis, as if your thighs 469 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:16,713 allow you to run 470 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,071 without starting a flash fire. 471 00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:22,332 I fold. 472 00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,246 I call and I raise you. 473 00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:26,722 Why are you staring at my hair? 474 00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,681 Oh, no reason. So, you wanna play. 475 00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:33,041 Well, I will pay to see what you've got. 476 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:36,262 I got... A whole lot 477 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:37,393 of nothing. 478 00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,004 Yes, take that, miss Tiffany law. 479 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,406 You'll probably be sore in the morning 480 00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:42,665 since you're not used to flexing 481 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,437 your loser muscle. 482 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:46,956 Coupon-clippers up one. 483 00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,529 High-falutin fools down 7 carats. 484 00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,398 All right, we get it. You won. 485 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:53,839 Oh, I don't think you do get it, 486 00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:58,885 cause we won. We won. 487 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,850 [Knock on door] 488 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,114 What are you doing? 489 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:08,897 When I feel down, I paraffin. 490 00:17:08,984 --> 00:17:10,904 Look, I'm sorry for what I said in there. 491 00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:11,896 It should've been enough 492 00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:12,987 that I beat you. 493 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,642 I just... I got carried away. 494 00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:18,909 It was an ugly side of you, Mona. 495 00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,604 Believe me, when I saw my mother 496 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,001 take it to a whole 'nother level, 497 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,524 I realized just how ugly it was. 498 00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:27,438 Why is beating me so important to you? 499 00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:28,964 'Cause it's absolutely no fun 500 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,438 always losing to you. 501 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,048 And you're so damn competitive. 502 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,179 I am not competitive. 503 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:38,450 I just can't stand losing. 504 00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,575 If I'm not the best, then what am I? 505 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,498 Like everybody else. 506 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:47,283 Mona, I feel bad enough already. 507 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,680 Wow, this thing is deep for you. 508 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:50,944 I mean, you're in competition 509 00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,286 with the whole world, 510 00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:54,025 not just me. 511 00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:55,676 I guess I'm the one who made it personal 512 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,160 all these years. 513 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,340 Well, stop doing that. 514 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,945 It's just dragging you down. 515 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:02,726 Mona, this is who I am, 516 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,080 and there's no shaking it. 517 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,350 I have no idea where I get it. 518 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,873 Listen up, there's still a battle 519 00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:09,176 going on out there. 520 00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,542 And as long as I have breath in my body, 521 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:12,567 and my ring's on that scarecrow's finger, 522 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:15,176 we keep playing. 523 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:19,098 I said we keep playing! 524 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:23,055 Ok, maybe I have an inkling where 525 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,145 it comes from. 526 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:28,374 We all have our burdens to bear. 527 00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,605 And you know it's wrong for your burden 528 00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:30,500 to be wearing my burden's 529 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,367 wedding ring. 530 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,029 Well, what can we do? 531 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,853 I tried talking my mom into giving it back, 532 00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:39,210 but she threatened to swallow it. 533 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,419 I'm all in, and it looks like 534 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,471 your winning streak has come to an end. 535 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:47,387 What're you gonna do, call? Cry? 536 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:50,834 Well, I got 5 bucks and an altoid left. 537 00:18:50,912 --> 00:18:51,962 Ma? 538 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:54,053 I don't have any money. 539 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,143 Well, what about the ring? 540 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,752 What about it? 541 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,714 Look at my cards. I'm gonna clean her out. 542 00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:03,973 I haven't even shown this off 543 00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:05,705 at my parents without partners meeting. 544 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,316 Ma, you only go for the free 545 00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:08,317 coffee and pie. 546 00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:09,708 Fork it over. 547 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,060 Oh, I'm sorry. I can't seem 548 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,370 to get it off. 549 00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,066 Aces and Jacks. 550 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,365 3 kings. Read 'em and weep. 551 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,511 Give me back my bling. 552 00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:20,943 I don't wanna. 553 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,139 I have a hacksaw in my trunk, 554 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,381 and I'm not afraid to use it. 555 00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:25,687 I'd make you cut it off, 556 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:29,303 but it's not the finger I wanna give you. 557 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,127 Your performance was wonderful. 558 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,568 So was yours. 559 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,354 Was it hard being on that swollen hand? 560 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,879 Oh, my god! How does she 561 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,752 stretch out platinum? 562 00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,668 Dude, you've had my music for days. 563 00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:54,194 Give it back. 564 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,889 Adam, what did you do? 565 00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:01,370 Man, there's nothing on here but... but... 566 00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:05,641 [imitates techno music] 567 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:06,936 What's up with that? 568 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,401 Ok, I tried to put your play list on mine, 569 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,864 but somehow dieter's dance mix 570 00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:11,247 got on yours instead. 571 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,078 You deleted my entire library? 572 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:18,040 How do you wanna die? 573 00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:20,959 In a hot tub with Jackie chan. 574 00:20:21,045 --> 00:20:24,045 Aah! Hurting! Hurting! Hurting! 575 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,550 Woman: Woohoo! [Giggles] 576 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:53,150 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38315

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