Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,963
[Laughs]
2
00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:12,013
So, Mona, your birthday's coming
up. What'd you want to do this year?
3
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:15,059
Anything but what we did last
year. I liked what we did last year.
4
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,625
That's 'cause you didn't have
to carry you home last year.
5
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:22,764
Well, you gotta do
something. It's the big 25.
6
00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:25,108
Yeah, and I've got about
25 bucks in my bank account,
7
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:29,029
so I'm doing nothing unless I
find a sponsor or a sugar daddy.
8
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,080
Bonjour, ma Demi-soeur.
9
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:33,382
That's half-sister in French.
10
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:34,988
[Scoffs]
11
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,558
Will a sugar mama do?
12
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:38,862
Bonjour, dee Dee!
13
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:48,000
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
14
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:52,701
♪ in finding you
and finding me ♪
15
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:56,061
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
16
00:00:56,143 --> 00:00:58,973
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
17
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,279
♪ inside of me ♪
♪ inside of me ♪
18
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,536
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
19
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,809
♪ all we need is lovin' you ♪
20
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:10,242
♪ that's the way our
feelings should be ♪
21
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,861
♪ you and me ♪
22
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,032
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
23
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,158
Ooh. [Chuckles]
24
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:25,298
So, Mona, I just had
the world's greatest idea.
25
00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,259
If it's about vin diesel
and some reddi-wip,
26
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,958
I already had it.
27
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:33,176
I already had him, but
I'll tell you about that later.
28
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,697
I wanna talk about
your birthday.
29
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,970
Ah, we was just
dialogin' about that.
30
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,754
Weren't we, Mona?
31
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,798
I'm sorry, I went deaf
after she said she had vin.
32
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,017
Listen, listen, listen.
33
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,107
You and I, sister
dear, are going to have
34
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:53,287
a joint birthday party.
Joint as in together,
35
00:01:53,374 --> 00:01:55,334
or as in the stuff San
Francisco is now growing?
36
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:59,208
Together. Just like
when we were kids.
37
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,823
Oh, yeah, I remember
those parties.
38
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:02,954
Those parties sucked.
39
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:06,212
No, they didn't.
40
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,610
You're just remembering
them through the prism of...
41
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:09,873
Well, you.
42
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:14,219
Mona: Oh, yeah? Remember
the sucktacular of '86?
43
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:16,658
Dad got us those
bikes. You remember.
44
00:02:16,745 --> 00:02:18,955
The ones with the
banana seats. Aha!
45
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:21,751
They were identical,
except for one thing:
46
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,227
Yours had tassels...
47
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,877
Pink, sparkly tassels.
48
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,580
Happy birthday, girls.
49
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:30,318
Thank you, daddy! Mine's pretty!
50
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,631
Mona: But you didn't
have them for long.
51
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,067
[Laughing]
52
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:38,772
And I'll never forget that cake.
53
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,384
Why isn't Mona's
name first? She's older?
54
00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,075
Dee Dee comes
first in the alphabet.
55
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,563
You do remember the
alphabet, don't you, dear?
56
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,863
I remember the b-word
and I'm looking at it.
57
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,430
I can't believe
you just said that.
58
00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,947
And I can't believe
you wore that outfit.
59
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:54,301
Are you trying to shock
those little boys into puberty
60
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:57,441
or were you expecting
convicts to be attending?
61
00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:01,215
Unfortunately, I had nothing to do with
the guest list or you wouldn't be here.
62
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:02,531
I'm gonna go change this cake.
63
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:03,967
Take your hands off of that.
64
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,193
I am not Charles,
and this ain't bedtime.
65
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,408
Mommy, my tummy's
starting to bubble.
66
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:20,242
And that was the good party.
67
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,380
You know, Mona,
having a party now
68
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:25,554
could be a way to put
those memories behind you,
69
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,420
so we don't have to
listen to them anymore.
70
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:32,685
We can fill a
watermelon with vodka.
71
00:03:32,777 --> 00:03:34,297
I do like fruit and liquor.
72
00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:37,868
And don't forget all
the gifts you'll get,
73
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,216
from your friends and mine.
74
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:43,267
Ooh. I think I could give a
joint party one more chance.
75
00:03:47,096 --> 00:03:49,356
I can't believe you're
having a party with that girl.
76
00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:53,146
Remember the Dee
dee/mona birthday craptaculars?
77
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,803
Mom, that was then, this is now.
78
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:58,757
And now there's gonna be a
big watermelon filled with vodka.
79
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,152
Bet that was her idea.
80
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,372
Don't let that
sweet act fool you.
81
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,201
Those Dee dees
aren't like you and me.
82
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:08,549
Haven't you noticed that
everything they touch turns to
83
00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,769
"damn it, Phyllis and Mona
just got screwed again?"
84
00:04:11,903 --> 00:04:13,863
Ma... oh, I know
what she's trying to do.
85
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:16,689
She's stealing your birthday party
just like her mama stole my man.
86
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:18,128
Oh, ho-ho ho!
87
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,964
It is amazing how
you worked that
88
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:21,612
into this conversation.
89
00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:25,696
There I was, flying with
your father to acapulco.
90
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,357
That bitch comes
rolling down the aisle...
91
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:32,841
Pushing her little cart. She gives him
a wink and an extra bag of peanuts...
92
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:35,324
Do you want a soda? He
goes off to the bathroom,
93
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,095
and well, let's just
say the friendly skies
94
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:38,889
never been so damn friendly.
95
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,764
Good night, ma.
96
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,455
She's lucky that seat
belt sign came on,
97
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,413
or I would've shown
her some turbulence.
98
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:50,514
Well, since Mona and I
99
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,994
were born 3 years, 3
days, and 3 hours apart,
100
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,596
I thought our
theme would be "3."
101
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,206
As long as I don't
go home alone,
102
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,559
I don't care what the theme is.
103
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:03,874
In keeping with that...
104
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:07,483
I took the Liberty of
putting together 3 lists...
105
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:10,348
Things for Dee Dee to
do, things for Mona to do,
106
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,830
and things for Spencer
to keep out of the way of.
107
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,583
First, let's talk cake.
108
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,104
I was thinking something light,
109
00:05:18,187 --> 00:05:20,357
3 layers, maybe a fruit filling.
110
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,630
I'm feeling apricot.
111
00:05:24,628 --> 00:05:26,458
I'm feeling... I'm
not feeling that.
112
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,939
I like chocolate.
113
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,235
Good to know. Apricot it is.
114
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,512
Now, for decorations,
115
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:37,335
I've chosen the lavender family.
116
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,694
The color scheme
will include hues
117
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,604
from periwinkle to Violet.
118
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:46,870
Lavender's cool, but nothing
says party like a disco ball. Hey!
119
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,125
Disco ball.
120
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,789
Well, if I can find
an old gay man
121
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:54,013
having a garage
sale, we'll talk about it.
122
00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:57,183
Wait. What happened
to my vodka-melon?
123
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,009
Nixed it. Didn't
work with the theme.
124
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,877
Now, for music.
125
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:03,889
We'll start the evening
with some light jazz.
126
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,372
Something classy,
sophisticated...
127
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:09,243
And boring. I say we
have a reggae band.
128
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:10,715
Sorry. Can't change it now.
129
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:13,365
Invitations are being
printed as we speak.
130
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,290
Wait. You already
did the invitations?
131
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,725
Of course. Mona...
132
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,812
If there's one
thing that I do well...
133
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,211
Well, actually, there's
a lot of things I do well,
134
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,254
but one of them
is throw a party.
135
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:26,820
Oh, and you're saying I don't?
136
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,648
That's not what I said.
137
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:29,996
Well, it's what you meant,
138
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:32,125
because you're
trying to control this.
139
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:35,657
I am not! I just want
this party to be perfect.
140
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,403
So let me do it my way, ok?
141
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,233
Let's not lose focus, ladies.
142
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,142
This isall about a party...
143
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,097
With Dee Dee's fine friends.
144
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:46,576
My mother was right. You're
tryin' to steal my birthday,
145
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:49,367
just like your mother stole
my mother's man. What?!
146
00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:52,412
Oh, you know what I'm
talking about. No, I don't.
147
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,979
Then maybe it's time you had
your little Dee Dee eyes opened?
148
00:06:55,066 --> 00:06:56,236
Oh, oh, ooh, uh...
149
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:00,419
I'm a big girl. Bring it.
150
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,157
Back to the party!
151
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:03,987
Hands up if you like streamers!
152
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:09,784
Ok. There my mother was,
flying with daddy to acapulco,
153
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:13,224
and your mother comes rollin'
down the aisle, pushin' her little cart.
154
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,522
She gives him a wink,
an extra bag of peanuts,
155
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:18,529
he goes off to the bathroom,
and, well, let's just say,
156
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,572
the friendly skies never
been so damn friendly.
157
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:23,443
Ha ha ha ha ha!
158
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,450
Oh, what? "Ha ha ha!"
159
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,802
What, that's funny to you?
"Ha ha!" Yes! Ha ha ha!
160
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:32,323
My mother, a flight
attendant. Ha ha ha ha ha!
161
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:35,928
Oh, I promise you, the words,
"who gets the kosher meal"
162
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,590
have never crossed
my mother's lips.
163
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,545
Not only has she never
been a flight attendant,
164
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,644
she's never worked
a day in her life.
165
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,513
She may have worked
it, but that's about all.
166
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:48,025
What are you talking about?
167
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:51,649
Mona, your parents were separated for
over a year when my mother met daddy.
168
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:55,212
Daddy was at a real estate
seminar. My mother was at a wedding.
169
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,480
They met in the hotel jacuzzi and got
thrown out for makin' their own waves.
170
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,611
I'm sorry, Dee
Dee, I'm not buyin' it.
171
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,144
Think about it, Mona.
172
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:06,833
What would daddy
be doing with peanuts?
173
00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:08,181
The man's allergic.
174
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,396
[Choking] Peanut. Peanut.
175
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:15,231
[Choking] Throat closing.
176
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,890
Well, Dee Dee, if that's
all the proof you've got,
177
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:20,325
then you're not gonna make
a very good lawyer, are you?
178
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:23,682
And you know what? You
can count me out of the party.
179
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,680
[Door closes]
180
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,287
Why is my family
always fighting?
181
00:08:31,380 --> 00:08:32,730
'Cause y'all share too much.
182
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,304
We got 2 rules in my family.
183
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:38,004
Number 1: Never discuss
anything that matters.
184
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:40,692
And number 2: Never
break rule number 1.
185
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:46,698
Oh, I'm sorry. I
don't validate parkin'.
186
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:48,617
I just validate feelings.
187
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:53,879
Ok. Oh, honey, what a
nice surprise. Come on in.
188
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:57,232
[Sighs] Look, I know it's late,
189
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,709
but I need to get your
take on something.
190
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,720
Forget I'm your daughter and
treat me like one of your patients.
191
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,023
Ok. Go.
192
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,808
No. No, wait.
193
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:06,893
Go.
194
00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:10,462
See, I've got this
friend... Mm-hmm...
195
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,120
And I think that she's
been lying to me.
196
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:15,124
And it's not just any lie.
197
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,336
It's the kind of lie that's
got me so turned around,
198
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,076
I don't know what
to think anymore.
199
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:21,207
Doesn't sound like
a very good friend.
200
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,174
It doesn't, does it? Mm-mmm.
201
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,385
So, what should I do?
202
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,480
Oh. I say confront
the problem head-on.
203
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,531
Get right in her face.
204
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:35,706
Ok. Well, according to Dee Dee,
205
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:38,142
her mother never stole daddy
away from you on a plane.
206
00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:39,799
She was never a stewardess,
207
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,513
and you and daddy
were practically divorced
208
00:09:41,537 --> 00:09:42,837
by the time they met.
209
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,276
This isn't really
about a friend, is it?
210
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:50,682
No. And what I'm
discovering here
211
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:54,294
is everything I've
based my entire life on...
212
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,466
My relationship with my father,
213
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:57,902
my relationships with other men,
214
00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,468
how I feel about Dee
Dee and her mother...
215
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:04,466
It's all been a lie. What do
you have to say for yourself?
216
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:10,085
I don't think we're gonna be able
to handle all this in one session.
217
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:13,094
Huh. Then it's true.
218
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:19,661
[Door closes]
219
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,150
[Pounding on door]
220
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,236
[Pounding]
221
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,325
I'm coming!
222
00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:33,979
[Pounding]
223
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,768
Ohh![pounding]
224
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:38,202
Mmhh! oh, good. You
couldn't sleep, either.
225
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:44,383
Actually, I came out of a
deep coma to answer the door.
226
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,989
Of course!
227
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,080
You probably cried
yourself to sleep hours ago.
228
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,610
That's why your eyes
are all swollen and puffy.
229
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,264
Oh... my eyes are
swollen and puffy?
230
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:57,529
I can't believe I
ruined your birthday.
231
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,533
Tomorrow I'll buy you a big
gift to make you feel better.
232
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:03,526
Dee Dee, you already gave
me a gift. You gave me the truth.
233
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:06,139
I don't know how I'm
gonna get over this.
234
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:08,620
But thanks for wakin' me up
so I can ponder it some more.
235
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:12,108
Well...
236
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:14,943
When things like
this happen to me,
237
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:17,462
I just look negativity
in the eyes,
238
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:18,846
kick him in the man parts,
239
00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:21,029
and leave him writhing
on the sidewalk.
240
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:24,384
You see what I'm sayin'?
241
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:27,816
No. You lost me after man parts.
242
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:33,645
Mona, you can let your
mother's lie tear you apart,
243
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,906
or you can see it
as an opportunity
244
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:38,349
to look at life in
a whole new light.
245
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:40,866
I think you should
choose number 2...
246
00:11:40,961 --> 00:11:43,271
Right after you put some
cucumbers on those eyes.
247
00:11:43,354 --> 00:11:44,834
Oh, what?
248
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:51,970
[Thump]Oh...
249
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,674
Happy birthday?
250
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:58,889
What are you doing?
251
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:01,289
Duckin' in case
you throw somethin'.
252
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,512
You seemed pretty
upset last time I saw you.
253
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:06,072
[Chuckles] That
was the old Mona,
254
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,600
the one who had
toxic mother syndrome.
255
00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:11,084
This is the new Mona,
256
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,515
the one who kicks
negativity in its man parts.
257
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,778
I'm gonna let that
one sail on by,
258
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,697
but can the new
Mona lend me $50?
259
00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,782
I want to get her somethin'
nicer for her birthday
260
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,611
than salt-n-pepa salt
and pepper shakers.
261
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,177
Spencer, you don't
have to get me anything.
262
00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:29,008
Is that the new Mona talking?
263
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,656
Yep. i like her.
264
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,660
Can I still have the 50 bucks?
265
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,622
I went out clubbin' last night,
266
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:36,670
and let's just say the
next time a woman tells me
267
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,666
cristal puts her in the
mood for sweaty sex,
268
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,108
I'm gonna make sure she
talkin' about sex with me.
269
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,723
Excuse me, Mona.
270
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,937
Apparently, your
voice mail's full.
271
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,457
So your mother left a message
with me at the reception desk,
272
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,211
which you know... Annoys me.
273
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:55,603
"Just calling to wish
you a happy birthday.
274
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:56,907
"Again.
275
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,563
"I was there, you know.
276
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,607
"It was just me, you,
and the most beautiful
277
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,872
27 hours of excruciating
pain I've ever had."
278
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,092
"So even if you won't
return my phone calls,
279
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,271
"you're always here
with me... In my heart,
280
00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,447
on my hips, in
my stretch marks."
281
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:17,966
Sweet.
282
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,406
"Love, your mother,
who gave you life, Phyllis."
283
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,536
Here, take it.
284
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,019
This is why I left home.
285
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:32,455
See? Not affecting me. New Mona.
286
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,810
Hey, Mona, did you ever
stop to think that your mother
287
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,771
might've had some
reasons for lying?
288
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,909
No. Not to me.
289
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,782
It's always been me and
my mother against the world,
290
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,694
but now I'm
finding out it's not.
291
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,829
You know, Mona, sometimes
parents lie to us to protect us.
292
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,613
Like, my mom told me my dog
tippy ran off and joined the circus.
293
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:52,438
Truth was, my dad ran
over him in the driveway.
294
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:58,011
I was much happier picturin'
tippy being shot out of a Cannon.
295
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,844
Go, tippy. Go, tippy.
296
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,806
You sure you want
to put that there?
297
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:13,503
I didn't think so.
Try the rumaki.
298
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,121
I don't really... try it.
299
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,084
Nummy.
300
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,258
Hey, Mona!
301
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:28,744
Happy birthday.
302
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,574
Happy birthday to you.
303
00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:31,912
Everything looks great.
304
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,311
It's the lavender.
305
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,137
This is way better
than last year's party.
306
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:39,234
She got a toilet and a bidet.
307
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:40,663
I used them both.
308
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,324
Ooh, she's nice.
309
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,095
Real nice.
310
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,449
I'm gonna go offer
her a record deal.
311
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,149
Hey, there's my
beautiful birthday girls.
312
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:55,109
I can't remember why we
stopped havin' your parties together.
313
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,768
Tassels, vomit, emergency room.
314
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,421
Anybody else need a drink?
315
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:05,028
I could use some Tequila.
316
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,561
Happy birthday,
sweet stuff. Mwah.
317
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,434
We'll be servin'
the cake soon. Oh!
318
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,296
I reduced the number
of candles on your side.
319
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,387
If you start now, it's
more believable later.
320
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:15,833
I like the way you think.
321
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,565
Me, too. [Chuckles]
322
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,695
Phyllis, so glad
you could make it.
323
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,138
Please don't take out
your baggies for leftovers
324
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,615
until everyone's eaten, yeah?
325
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:27,965
Happy birthday, baby.
326
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:30,705
Honey...
327
00:15:30,799 --> 00:15:33,279
It was never my
intention to hurt you.
328
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:36,067
Not listenin'! Tryin'
to have fun! Whoo!
329
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:38,762
Hey, Mona, join us.Hey...
330
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,980
I thought we'd turn
this party up a notch,
331
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,680
start with the electric slide.
332
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:47,377
Help me. Oh, come on.
333
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,558
Get down with your bad daddy.
334
00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,693
Charles, please!
335
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,523
Please take this one opportunity
336
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,307
not to make a fool of yourself.
337
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,182
I wish you would've
said that at the altar.
338
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,053
Aaaah-oww!
339
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:05,395
Ladies. Phyllis. We've got
to keep the festivities flowing.
340
00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:08,266
Cake time. I am trying
to talk to my daughter,
341
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:10,528
and that's a lot more
important than your damn cake.
342
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,581
Excuse me. We're
on a schedule. Huh!
343
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:14,764
Aah!
344
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,755
Oh, my. I guess it's
just not my birthday
345
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,587
until there's cake in my crotch.
346
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:26,773
Ohhh!
347
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,862
Mona.
348
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,168
Baby.
349
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,564
Look... I know you're upset,
350
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,127
but I'm hoping that
we can get things
351
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:40,134
back to the way they used to be.
352
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:42,826
You mean when I believed
your lies? Yes! I mean no.
353
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:47,918
Look, I know what I did was
wrong, but mothers make choices.
354
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:52,137
I made a bad one. Well, now's
your chance to tell me the truth.
355
00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,008
What happened?
356
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,750
Ok. Look...
357
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:58,191
You were just a baby.
358
00:16:58,278 --> 00:16:59,798
Your father and
I were struggling,
359
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:02,588
and he quit his job
to sell real estate.
360
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:03,763
On commission.
361
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,510
I thought he was makin' a big
mistake, and I let him know it.
362
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:11,292
Oh, baby, we argued a lot, and
you know that's not my nature.
363
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:17,466
But he just insisted on
chasing his damn dream.
364
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,468
And I kept pushin' him and
pushin' him to get a real job
365
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,651
until one day he just
went out for a walk and...
366
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,741
He never came back.
367
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,788
I was devastated.
368
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:32,047
That must've been really
hard.Ohhh... You know...
369
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,095
Sometimes I think it
would've been easier
370
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:37,884
if he hadbeen chasing a
woman instead of a dream.
371
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:40,279
You can't kill a dream.
372
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,023
But you canpull
a good plug of hair
373
00:17:42,104 --> 00:17:43,854
out of a woman's
head if you have to.
374
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,421
You could've told me
about you and daddy.
375
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,073
Why the big lie?
376
00:17:52,375 --> 00:17:56,245
I guess there was more dignity
in someone stealin' my man
377
00:17:56,336 --> 00:18:00,986
than me admitting that I drove
him away with my negativity.
378
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,780
But you were the one person
379
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,945
I thought I could count
on never to lie to me.
380
00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:09,521
I know! And... I am so sorry.
381
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:13,090
I just never considered
what the lie would do to you.
382
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,490
I believe you, ma.
383
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,183
Oh, thank you. [Chuckles]
384
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:22,009
Ohh! You don't
know what a relief it is
385
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,281
that the truth is finally out. I'm tellin'
you, once I started tellin' that lie,
386
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,405
it just took on
a life of its own.
387
00:18:27,497 --> 00:18:29,277
I had to keep tellin'
it because, you know,
388
00:18:29,369 --> 00:18:31,279
people would think I
was a liar.[Chuckles]
389
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:34,903
There were so many times
that I wanted to come clean,
390
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:36,593
but I just felt
trapped, you know?
391
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,990
You try tellin' that
story for 23 years.
392
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:40,474
Try listening to it.
393
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,212
So you forgive me?
394
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,688
Of course.
395
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:49,217
You're the only mother I've got.
396
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:51,392
Unless there's something
else you want to tell me.
397
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,222
Just that I love you.
398
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,404
And I love you, too, ma.
399
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,613
Mmm...
400
00:18:57,701 --> 00:19:00,141
So, in a way...
401
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,316
What I'm giving
you for your birthday
402
00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:04,452
is the truth.
403
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,324
Everybody's giving me
the truth for my birthday.
404
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:10,277
Can't a sister get somethin'
she can return for cash?
405
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,327
Well, that's one
more birthday down.
406
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,214
I still wish we had
the vodka-melon.
407
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:27,206
Guess I kinda did take over.
408
00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:29,556
I tend to do that when
I know what's best.
409
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:37,351
This is from me.
410
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,347
It's not a big
bag of truth, is it?
411
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:48,225
Ohh! it kind of symbolizes
412
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:51,057
where we've been and
where we are as sisters.
413
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:54,056
Oh, it's you and me at
the craptacular of '85,
414
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,279
the one where the pony
pooped on my shoes.
415
00:19:57,674 --> 00:20:00,944
Yep. This was taken right
before the clown made you cry
416
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:03,285
and daddy spanked you to
make you kiss me on the cheek.
417
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,514
Ah, yes. Good times.
418
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:10,212
Thanks, Dee Dee.
This is perfect.
419
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:12,076
Look how cute we were.
420
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,857
Me in my tiara,
421
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,691
you in your little
brown corrective shoes.
422
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:22,216
They were white until
the pony wandered over.
423
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,490
Thanks for the memories.
424
00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:30,090
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32077
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof