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1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,744
[Knock on door]
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,395
Coming.
3
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,270
Mona!
4
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:11,534
Hey.
5
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,400
Hey, guys, this is
my big sister Mona.
6
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,751
Half big sister.
7
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:21,108
Oh, what a great
way to start the day.
8
00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:24,805
Oh, just so you know,
not a morning person.
9
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:26,074
Can I borrow some equal?
10
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:27,416
I didn't realize I was out
11
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:28,845
until I poured
my frosted flakes.
12
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:31,731
Aren't frosted flakes
already frosted?
13
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,474
So is that a yes or
a no on the equal?
14
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,116
I'll check.
15
00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:38,910
Come on in. I've barely
seen you in weeks.
16
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:42,035
You can finally see how I
remodeled your old place.
17
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:45,049
[Under her breath] Oh, my god.
18
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:48,092
You're... Getting there.
19
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:50,748
Yeah, well, i'm happy
with the fireplace,
20
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:53,013
and I love the view of
the golden gate bridge,
21
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:55,316
but my mother wants
to move that skylight.
22
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,363
She'd like a beam of
light to illuminate her
23
00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:00,358
as she enters and exits.
24
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,711
So, anything else
I can do for you?
25
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,501
Switch apartments again.
26
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,936
[Chuckles]
27
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,503
Yeah.
28
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:15,548
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
29
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,030
♪ you're finding
you, i'm finding me ♪
30
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,211
♪ finding you and finding me ♪
31
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:23,167
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
32
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:26,167
♪ who brings out the joy
♪ ♪ brings out the joy ♪
33
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:29,960
♪ inside of me ♪
♪ inside of me ♪
34
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:31,996
♪ become whatever
we want ♪ ♪ yeah ♪
35
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,702
♪ all we need is
lovin' ♪ ♪ yeah ♪
36
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:38,490
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
37
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:42,706
♪ you and me ♪
38
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:53,496
[Knock on door]
39
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:07,212
Hello... Spencer?
40
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:08,951
What are you doing here?
41
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,781
It's our movie and
Martini night, remember?
42
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,219
Where the movies are so
bad they drive us to drink,
43
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,437
so we do.
44
00:02:15,526 --> 00:02:20,306
I've got blankman,
glitter, Scooby do me.
45
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:23,711
Oops. That one's for me.
46
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,445
Spencer, I can't...
47
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,246
Oh, i've got tonight's
martinis all figured out...
48
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:28,797
[gasps]
49
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:32,797
Damn, woman. You just
spray for mosquitoes in here?
50
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:36,421
That's $50 perfume,
and you can't stay.
51
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:38,334
But... but, Mona...
52
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,639
It's movie-tini night.
53
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:46,035
Hold up. Perfume, flowers,
Egyptian love incense.
54
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,732
Uh-oh. Mantrap.
55
00:02:49,821 --> 00:02:51,391
I'm not trying to trap him.
56
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,345
I'm just trying
to lure him here
57
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:56,314
and then make
sure he can't leave.
58
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:57,393
Now go.
59
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,533
Slow down, Mona.
60
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:01,204
You've only been dating
this exterminator guy
61
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,754
a few weeks, and you
made this mistake before.
62
00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:09,405
Josh? Ahmad? Daphne?
63
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:12,893
He only became
Daphne after we broke up.
64
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:15,975
I'm just saying I
know how we men are.
65
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,625
If it's too easy to get the
apple, we're suspicious.
66
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,770
If it's too hard,
pfft, we gone,
67
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,863
but if we can shake
your tree just a little bit
68
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,812
and get that apple to fall,
69
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:28,251
it makes us feel like a man.
70
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:31,248
We like that.
71
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:34,781
But Brian's not like all the
other defectives i've dated.
72
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,126
He makes me laugh.
73
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,166
He makes me feel beautiful.
74
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:41,741
Brian deserves an apple...
75
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,310
And it's been almost
a year since I had sex.
76
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,378
Actually, it's been a
year since you first told me
77
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,400
it's been a year
since you had sex.
78
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,009
I haven't had sex in 2 years?
79
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,579
Get out.
80
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,797
What's crack-a-
lackin' people?
81
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,886
Mona, can you come up
and give me some advice
82
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:57,845
on where to hang pictures?
83
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,243
Spencer: No can do.
84
00:03:59,326 --> 00:04:00,846
She's about to bed the bug guy.
85
00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:03,586
Hey, you got one!
86
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,718
And I know it's
been a while for you,
87
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:08,770
but Don't worry. The
parts have not changed.
88
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:11,557
Thanks. I'll try not to gawk.
89
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,692
Now why Don't you 2
sexperts go do something
90
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,336
on the other side of that door?
91
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,130
Come on, Dee Dee.
92
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,584
We Don't want to get
in the way of the miracle.
93
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,827
- What miracle?
- Oh, hey, Brian.
94
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:27,794
There's an image of p. Diddy
on the wall above the bed.
95
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,566
Check it out.
96
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,841
Bye, Brian.
97
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,804
♪ I have got the nice wine ♪
98
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,366
♪ you are looking... ♪
99
00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,193
So fine.
100
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,461
[Sniffing]
101
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,553
Did you just spray
for mosquitoes?
102
00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:53,115
I can't believe we've
been talking for 2 hours.
103
00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,245
You realize we
forgot to eat dinner?
104
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,818
I guess i'd rather talk to you.
105
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,356
Well, if you're
trying to score points,
106
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,606
that was a big one.
107
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:07,093
Besides, I didn't cook the
lasagna. It's store-bought.
108
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,566
I was just trying
to impress you.
109
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:09,956
Mmm.
110
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,698
You Don't have to
do that, you know?
111
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:14,579
I'm already impressed.
112
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:18,192
I did cut the fruit myself.
113
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,764
I think strawberries
are one of nature's
114
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,762
sexiest foods, Don't you?
115
00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:26,024
Mm-hmm.
116
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:28,495
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
117
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:29,329
Hot! Hot!
118
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,156
Are you ok?
119
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:31,372
[Moans]
120
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,641
Yeah, just embarrassed.
121
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:36,344
Ah, well, I think...
122
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:41,043
What you were
trying to do is this.
123
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:43,783
♪ ...just relax and let me do ♪
124
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:48,775
♪ let me do things my way... ♪
125
00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,215
Teach me.
126
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,618
You sure?
127
00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:01,005
Well... i was advised
to take things slow.
128
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:01,839
That was bad advice.
129
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,226
Mmm.
130
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,925
[Elevator bell dings]
131
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,670
Hey, Mona, 9-1-1.
132
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:13,201
Big phat slim Jim threw
out another track last night.
133
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:15,505
I need you to listen to
these demos a.S.A.P.
134
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:16,812
And find a replacement.
135
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:20,468
No problem. Glad
to. Anything you want.
136
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:22,034
Uh... that's it?
137
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,300
No hassle? Oh... No 'tude?
138
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,604
If I didn't know any better,
139
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,039
i'd say someone took a ride
140
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,385
on the love train last night.
141
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:34,518
There might have
been some loco-motion.
142
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,792
Well, i'm glad it worked out.
143
00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,137
See?
144
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:43,136
And you told me I
was moving too fast.
145
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:44,398
So has he called?
146
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,881
I just left the man 6 hours ago.
147
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:51,061
Give him time to recover.
148
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,869
Oh, I know you and I had
plans for this weekend,
149
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:54,810
but I want to keep
it open for Brian...
150
00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,112
My man.
151
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,849
I got a man.
152
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,250
Dee Dee: Thanks.
153
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,603
Hey, Dee. What's up?
154
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:05,733
So... this is where
you guys work.
155
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,816
It's so cute and record-y.
156
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:10,295
Well, that's the look
we were going for.
157
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:13,736
So, Mona, i'm dying to know.
158
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,394
How did it go with Brian?
159
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,788
It was awesome,
incredible, magical.
160
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:19,872
He ain't called her.
161
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:23,141
Oh. Well, did he send flowers?
162
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,435
Jewelry?
163
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,661
Chocolates?
164
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:27,399
An e-card?
165
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,840
Are you sure you had sex?
166
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,888
I just usually get stuff after,
167
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:35,194
but I guess my
experience isn't universal.
168
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,200
Nah, I get stuff, too.
169
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:40,023
That's it.
170
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,291
You two have officially
taken the "j" out of my joy.
171
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,124
I didn't mean to do that.
172
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,992
I guess i'll just head off
to my criminal law class.
173
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,685
I gotta tell you,
174
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:51,122
it all looks so much more
glamorous on the practice.
175
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:55,609
Spencer, the chocolate
chip muffin is for you,
176
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:56,522
and, Mona...
177
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:58,166
Don't eat to forget.
178
00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,700
[Door opens]
179
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,923
She knows your favorite muffin?
180
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,703
Since when did you
and the little Princess
181
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,437
hit it off so well?
182
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,048
We hung out last night,
183
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:08,398
and I have to tell you,
184
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,448
you guys couldn't
be more different.
185
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:13,233
Dee Dee's
sophisticated, confident...
186
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:17,578
And she's got those moist
towelettes in the bathroom.
187
00:08:17,671 --> 00:08:21,111
Whoo! That girl's got class.
188
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,860
So...
189
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,332
Find anything interesting?
190
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:33,301
Just making sure they
had the right zip code.
191
00:08:33,382 --> 00:08:35,912
You know i'm not one
of those nosy mothers.
192
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,413
Now, a nosy mother
would have thrown out
193
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,779
that expired medicine
you had in the cabinet
194
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,777
and pointed out that
there was only one condom
195
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,519
left in your nightstand.
196
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,481
She'd ask what
you've been up to...
197
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,789
With Brian...
198
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,085
Who was over the other night
199
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:52,050
which you didn't
call her after.
200
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:55,320
Well, I kinda wanted to
talk to Spencer about it first,
201
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,154
you know, get a male opinion.
202
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,542
Well, I may not be a man,
203
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:01,795
but i've been
mistreated by several.
204
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,721
Talk to me.
205
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,585
Ok.
206
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,236
See, I thought Brian and
I had something special,
207
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:13,121
so when he was
over, we got together.
208
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,254
Hence the condom.
209
00:09:14,336 --> 00:09:17,636
Good girl.
210
00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,651
Right, but I haven't
heard from him yet.
211
00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:22,083
Well, you know, Brian
could be suffering from
212
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,130
classic avoidance disorder or...
213
00:09:24,215 --> 00:09:25,775
Ma, ma, I know
you're a professional,
214
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:26,989
but save the clinical speak.
215
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,314
What would you do?
216
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,313
Me? Oh, child.
217
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,659
I would call him
10 times in a row.
218
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:38,138
In fact, i'd call him till
he blocked my number.
219
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,844
I would rifle through his trash.
220
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,519
I would show up at
all his favorite places
221
00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,669
in a not so favorable mood.
222
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:49,629
Oh, i'd show him I
am not to be trifled with,
223
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,309
and that's exactly what
you should do with this boy.
224
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:52,939
Let's go.
225
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:55,857
That is... Really a great idea.
226
00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:58,383
Yeah, let's go confront
him in an angry rage.
227
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:02,207
Aww, now that's
my daughter talkin'.
228
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,350
Mona!
229
00:10:08,433 --> 00:10:11,523
You realize this is
just a cry for help.
230
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,611
Woman: Phyllis.
231
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,960
Big Dee Dee.
232
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,310
What a pleasant surprise.
233
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,970
You here every day living
through your daughter.
234
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:24,277
For your information,
235
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,892
I am here giving
my daughter advice.
236
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,064
Well, i'm giving mine
the Armani fall collection,
237
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,630
but advice is good, too.
238
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,937
[Barks]
239
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,722
I see you brought your lunch.
240
00:10:33,807 --> 00:10:36,767
[Yelps]
241
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:40,253
Thinking of food as usual.
242
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,285
This is my baby coco.
243
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,770
I see the resemblance.
244
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:48,693
I'm a cat person myself.
245
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,738
I figured.
246
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:53,304
I didn't think the hair all over
your clothes came from a man.
247
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:58,753
Hi, Mona.
248
00:10:58,832 --> 00:10:59,662
Come on, Spencer. We're late.
249
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,006
I may be stunning,
250
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:04,225
but not stunning
enough to stop traffic.
251
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,795
You guys are hanging out?
252
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,492
Again? Together?
253
00:11:07,579 --> 00:11:10,319
Yeah. We're going
to a play at the theater.
254
00:11:10,408 --> 00:11:13,238
It's what us cultured folks do.
255
00:11:13,324 --> 00:11:14,464
We would've invited you,
256
00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,743
but we just knew
you had something
257
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,722
pretty spicy planned for Brian.
258
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:20,287
Let me tell you what
always works for me.
259
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:23,375
Wear a fur coat,
stilettos, and nothing else.
260
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,895
It's a little hot,
but trust me,
261
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,688
you won't have it on for long.
262
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,344
Works like a charm.
263
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:32,997
It just worked for me.
264
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:36,353
Well, anyway, Brian
and I are so way past fur.
265
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:40,134
We do stuff you see
in European movies.
266
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,221
Oh, i'm glad he finally called.
267
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:45,270
Oh, yeah. Days ago. I
thought I mentioned it.
268
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:48,396
Good lovin' always
makes you forget.
269
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,190
Well, go ahead, Mona.
270
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,154
See, Spencer?
271
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,583
I told you she wasn't gonna
die alone in her apartment.
272
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,675
Hello, Brian.
It's... it's Mona.
273
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,377
How are ya?
274
00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:08,384
Yeah. Me, too.
275
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,376
What you doing?
276
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:12,688
Yep. Me, too.
277
00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:17,605
So, I had a great
time the other night.
278
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:21,393
Yeah, fruit and chocolate
are good together.
279
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:23,609
So, i... i was, you know,
280
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:26,699
wondering why
we haven't talked.
281
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:30,099
Well, now doesn't
count. I called you.
282
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:33,144
Well, so did you forget
you saw me naked?
283
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,790
I mean, I just think
it's inconsiderate
284
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,361
that you haven't
called in 2 days.
285
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:39,721
Even Daphne called
from the hospital.
286
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,722
No, no, i'm not done.
287
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:44,814
You know, men like you
have made my mother crazy,
288
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:48,164
and you are not gonna
do the same thing to me.
289
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,245
Humph!
290
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,862
Hello, Brian. It's Mona.
291
00:12:55,949 --> 00:13:00,519
Did someone just call
you pretending to be me?
292
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,955
Hello? Hello?
293
00:13:04,044 --> 00:13:07,314
I am gonna die
alone in my apartment.
294
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:14,618
I hate to see you so
depressed over Brian.
295
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:15,796
Where's that Spencer?
296
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:16,952
He always makes you feel better.
297
00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:18,360
He's with Dee Dee.
298
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:19,319
Again?
299
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:21,757
It's like deja vu.
300
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,244
Dee Dee's stealing
your best friend
301
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:24,594
just like her mama stole mine.
302
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,593
You know, your daddy
was my best friend.
303
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,199
Ma, please...
304
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,416
There I was, flying to
acapulco with your father.
305
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:33,856
That bitch comes
rolling down the aisle
306
00:13:33,943 --> 00:13:35,383
pushing her little cart.
307
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,656
She gives him an
extra bag of peanuts.
308
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:38,295
He goes off to the bathroom,
309
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:39,662
and, well, let's just
say the friendly skies
310
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,948
have never been
so damn friendly.
311
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,478
You know, ma, I never
get tired of that story.
312
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,352
I tell it well.
313
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,654
Anyway, I knew you were
gonna have to watch your back
314
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,390
with Dee Dee around,
but you know what?
315
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,021
You have got to
fight for what's yours,
316
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,528
and Spencer is your friend.
317
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:56,006
You might be right.
318
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,656
Of course i'm right.
I'm your mother.
319
00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,209
Besides, you've already
lost your boyfriend.
320
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,819
You can't afford to
lose your best friend.
321
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,670
And you need to end
this week with somebody
322
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:06,324
'cause I got plans.
323
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,460
Yeah, Mona's pretty much
the best friend i've ever had.
324
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:12,374
When I broke my ankle
freshman year, she was there.
325
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,640
When my grandmother
passed, she was there.
326
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:18,294
When I got my heart
broken, she said...
327
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:21,159
"I never liked that ho..."
328
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:24,650
But she was there.
329
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:27,693
I've never been as tight with
a guy as Mona is with you.
330
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,609
Every time I get that close,
it ends up getting physical.
331
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,877
Really?
332
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,534
For the record,
333
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,447
I Don't anticipate
us getting that close.
334
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,796
[Knock on door]
335
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:51,634
So, i'm downstairs in my
robe watching spongebob,
336
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:54,936
and you guys are up here
having movie-tinis without me.
337
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,944
Mona, we just assumed
that you'd be with Brian.
338
00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,937
Brian? The 32-year-old man
339
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:02,599
who doesn't know how
to use a freakin' phone?
340
00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,014
Oh, I had to tell
him about himself,
341
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,563
and he was not very receptive.
342
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,604
- Mona, you didn't.
- Mona: Sure did.
343
00:15:08,690 --> 00:15:10,060
You know what i'm like
when you're not around
344
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,263
to hold me back.
345
00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,125
You mean crazy?
346
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:17,437
Wait a minute. I thought you
guys were having incredible sex.
347
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,005
Amnesia sex?
348
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,792
I lied, ok?
349
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:24,576
Apparently, Brian had amnesia
that we were even dating,
350
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:27,492
and to make matters
worse, you, miss Prada pants,
351
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,578
are up here trying to
steal my best friend.
352
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,797
I'm not trying to steal him.
I have my own best friend,
353
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:36,068
and she's burden enough.
354
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:39,162
Besides, you haven't been
around much for Spencer lately.
355
00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:40,812
Hello?
356
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:44,116
Negligence is the very
foundation of friendship.
357
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,294
And I am not going to lose
the best friend I ever had
358
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:47,950
to you or anybody else.
359
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,654
How are you gonna come
up here and go off on us
360
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,042
when you're the one who told
us to do something together?
361
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,946
Oh, Don't try to turn
this around on me.
362
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:56,391
That is so you.
363
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,437
You always have
to have what I have.
364
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,442
It started with
my baby alive doll.
365
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,614
Then it was my
apartment building,
366
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,490
and now, it's my best friend,
but I guess the joke's on you,
367
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:08,233
'cause I got nothing
left for you to take.
368
00:16:08,315 --> 00:16:10,355
Good!
369
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:12,247
'cause I wouldn't take
what you didn't have,
370
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,315
and I didn't want what
you Don't want me to have
371
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:17,058
even if you didn't want
it when I needed it, and...
372
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,280
You know what I mean!
373
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:24,810
Pshew!
374
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,456
I still say it ain't
a chick fight
375
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:29,420
till somebody end up naked
and covered in baby oil.
376
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,429
Oh, that's nice.
377
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,435
What are you doing?
378
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,141
Laundry.
379
00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:02,279
Oh, stop! Stop!
Stop the madness!
380
00:17:02,369 --> 00:17:04,019
Wait a second. These are clean.
381
00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:07,500
Ok, I haven't actually
worn any of these yet,
382
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:08,981
but I had to talk to you,
383
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:11,071
and Spencer said I
might find you down here
384
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,990
sitting on a washer with
a bucketful of quarters.
385
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:16,076
That was one isolated incident
386
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:19,035
after I read the sensuous woman.
387
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,125
So what do you want anyway?
388
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:22,694
I just want you to know
389
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:24,450
that i've only been
spending time with Spencer
390
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,698
because I couldn't
spend time with you.
391
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,184
Yeah, right.
392
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:30,574
Mona, since I have
moved into this building,
393
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:32,878
any time i've tried to
do something with you,
394
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,364
you've either made an excuse
395
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,324
or had a date with Brian.
396
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:38,803
Well, why do you want to spend
so much time with me anyways?
397
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,063
If I had everything you have,
398
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:42,056
i'd have better
friends than me.
399
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,929
I do,
400
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:47,240
but you're the
only sister i've got,
401
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:48,547
and I think it's really sad
402
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,422
that I know more
about you from Spencer
403
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:52,854
than you've ever
told me about yourself.
404
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,421
I will have to remind Spencer
405
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,598
to keep his mouth shut.
406
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,335
Why are you making this so hard?
407
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:02,468
Humph.
408
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:04,169
Ok, fine.
409
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:07,167
I'll just take my new
clean clothes upstairs
410
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:11,180
and pretend I have
a really nice big sister
411
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:12,794
who lives in Europe
412
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,184
and speaks fluent French,
413
00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:17,178
but she's there
and full of love.
414
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:21,270
Nobody can take
that away from me.
415
00:18:21,361 --> 00:18:25,231
Oh, my god, girl,
stop. Ok, I get it.
416
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:28,111
Maybe I have been
acting like a big idiot,
417
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,334
which I do a lot of the time,
418
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:33,243
but it's very endearing
once you get used to it.
419
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:36,119
I haven't found it to be.
420
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:39,897
I guess I should apologize.
421
00:18:39,988 --> 00:18:42,428
My French sister would.
422
00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:46,125
[Sighs]
423
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:47,912
I'm sorry, Dee Dee.
424
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,906
Now say it in French.
425
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:53,004
Ok, good enough,
426
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,128
and i'm really sorry
things didn't work out
427
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,611
with you and Brian.
428
00:18:56,700 --> 00:18:58,570
Well, i've been wrong
about men before,
429
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:01,229
and I guess I will
be wrong again.
430
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:02,584
Yeah, you will...
431
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:05,933
And again and again
and again and again.
432
00:19:06,014 --> 00:19:08,454
Are you still trying
to get close to me?
433
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,148
Yes.
434
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,666
And I just want you to know
435
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,939
that you Don't always
have to go to Spencer.
436
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,812
I'm just upstairs.
437
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,723
And as far as
Brian is concerned,
438
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,108
if he couldn't handle
439
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,721
one itty-bitty
psychotic meltdown,
440
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:23,161
then he obviously wasn't
in it for the long haul.
441
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,819
And if he thought that was ugly,
442
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:28,342
i'll be p.M.S.Ing
in about 3 days.
443
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:31,868
That's the most you've
ever shared with me,
444
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,823
and more than I needed to know.
445
00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:35,651
Hey, you wanted to be close.
446
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,389
It ain't all pretty.
447
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,480
[Laughs]
448
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:43,274
Hey, i'm glad you're here.
449
00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,356
I want to apologize...
450
00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,664
No need.
451
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,159
Best friends know
they only come first
452
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,536
when the other
one's not getting any.
453
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,712
You know what my problem is?
454
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,060
I am never going to meet a guy
455
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:57,239
who's as important
to me as you are,
456
00:19:57,326 --> 00:20:01,286
but I am damn sure gonna
spend the rest of my life trying.
457
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:04,034
Either way, you know i'll
always be there for you...
458
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,245
Unless I meet someone hot.
459
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:10,205
Oh. This is for you.
460
00:20:10,296 --> 00:20:11,986
Sugar? For what?
461
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,950
It's what wouldn't
fit in Brian's gas tank.
462
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,910
He should have called you.
463
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:20,829
Spencer, you shouldn't
have done that.
464
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:24,215
We still have half a bag left
from when you did it to Ahmad.
465
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:49,204
Whoo hoo! Ha ha ha ha ha!
466
00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:53,804
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