All language subtitles for Family Law (2021) - 01x06 - Baby Off Board.SYNCOPY.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

Previously, on Family Law...

Hey, did Harry really
take you and Daniel

to Disneyland when you were kids?

Yep. You were supposed to come, too.

[DUBIOUS] Yeah, sure.

Sabina and the gang are going to Velvet.

We should go.

Uh, or... just as fun,

we could

look at more sperm donor profiles.

All I want in this entire world

is for our family to be back together.

Then stop lying to us.

[ABBY] I, uh, don't suppose

you could recommend a therapist.

I should never have proposed.

I can't get married.

♪ Livin' ♪

♪ Life by the numbers ♪

♪ Livin' ♪

♪ Life by the numbers ♪

♪ One, two, three, four! ♪

♪ Ten I remember when ♪

♪ Nine Lives are really fine ♪

♪ Eight Eight... it's never too late ♪

♪ Seven Take it up to heaven ♪

♪ Livin'

♪ Life by the numbers

♪ One, two, three, four!

♪ Gimme, gimme some more

Abigail Bianchi?

Uh, how much longer will Dr. Attwar be?

I got to get to work.

I'm Dr. Attwar.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

So nice to meet you.

Let me guess, you
went to the same school

as Doogie Howser?

Did he go to McGill?

Maybe he graduated a
few years ahead of me.

Come on in.

Please. Make yourself comfortable.

Tch. Okay.

Um, I'm gonna save
us both a lot of time.

My dad left when I was seven,

um, he had more kids with other women

and was more of a father to
them than he ever was to me.

My mother was loving but
neglectful and narcissistic,

all of which led me to
a tiny drinking problem,

and my husband kicking
me out of the house

and getting interim
custody of our two kids.

So, let's see, uh, abandonment issues,

daddy issues, addiction issues,

yada-yada-yada.

I think that about covers it,

so can I get my receipt
for the full hour now?

Very good.

I wish everyone were as
succinct and self-aware.

Great. So shall we call it a day?

- You're a lawyer, right?
- Yes.

If you don't feel like talking,
I could use some legal advice.

We rented our basement
unit to this woman.

She seemed okay at first,

but wow, she is so annoying.

- Can I evict her?
- Well, that depends.

"Annoying" because she keeps
asking you to fix her toilet,

or annoying because
she smokes like a chimney

and has six ferrets?

Right. Yeah, that makes sense.

You want to help me, but I need
to give you a lot more to go on.

Yeah. You know, I'd need details.

You'd have to start from the beginning.

Okay. I see what you did there.

Yeah.

[DANIEL] I don't want
things to be awkward.

- And you shouldn't feel...
- Don't... tell me how to feel.

No. Right. I didn't mean...

- Do you want some help?
- [BLADE SCRAPES SHARPENER]

Or I could... not.

Uh... that one's mine.

Lucy gave it to me when
I was called to the bar.

- [SHATTERING]
- Ahh! [WHIMPERS]

[MAN] Where do you want this one, Nina?

Um, maybe right there,
where everyone can enjoy it?

I like your thinking.

Aww...

Morning, Nina, and welcome.

Thank you, Jerri.

Hi. Bryan Beasley.

How are ya? [JOVIAL CHUCKLE]

You're lucky to get this one!

She works harder than anyone I know.

- [LAUGHS]
- Thanks, Dad.

I'm lucky to have you.

- Aw. Hey! I made your favourite...
- [BAG RUSTLES]

tuna sammy, fresh dill, chopped pickles.

Mm. Brain food.

- Tch!
- You're the best.

You let me know when
you're done here, sweetie,

and I'll pick you up for
mother-daughter bowling.

Okay?

I used to go with my mom.

Oh, yeah. And when she died,

the league made me an honorary mom.

Aw.

[CHUCKLES]

[BOTH SIGHING CONTENTEDLY]

- Ahh!
- All right! I'll let you go.

I am so proud of you!

[BEASLEYS CHUCKLING]

You're sure Special
Snowflake can handle reception

without Helicopter Dad?

Well, Nina came highly recommended.

[CYCLING SHOES CLACKING]

The Bhadus have been waiting
in the boardroom for...

Yes, I'm 10 minutes late. Well aware.

That's an eternity with a fussy newborn.

Then give it to Abby.

It's just notarizing paperwork.

You shouldn't be able
to screw it up too badly.

- [INFANT BAWLING IN DISTANCE]
- What does Danielle see in you?

- [BAWLING]
- Good morning.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

- I'm Abigail Bianchi.
- Ajay Bhadu.

This is my wife, Jane,
and the loud one is Kirin.

I'm sorry. He's not himself today.

Well, there's a lot
of that going around.

Well, the good news is,
once your parents sign this,

we can send it off to the judge
and make your adoption official.

[CRYING]

I don't know what's
going on with him today.

We were up all night. Again.

This feels so surreal.

I can't believe he's really ours.

And...

[CRYING]

[BABY COUGHING AND CRYING]

Ajay. Something's wrong.

I think he's choking!

- On what?
- I don't know!

His lips are blue.

- Check his mouth.
- [PHONE DIALS]

- Is his airway clear?
- I don't see anything!

[DISPATCH AGENT] 9-1-1.
What's your emergency?

Newborn baby. He's not breathing.

♪ You can't prove it

♪ Uh-oh

♪ You got nothing legit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ The glove don't fit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ You gotta acquit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ The charges won't stick 'cos

♪ I ain't no sucker

♪ Ain't your lollipop but

♪ You can kiss my sweet

♪ Uh-huh

♪ Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop... ♪

♪ Never gonna stop
Never gonna stop ♪

♪ You can't prove it

♪ Uh-oh

Any news about the baby?

Still in Children's Hospital.

What? No organic,
macrobiotic kale creation

for the fridge today?

I wish you'd put half as much effort

into learning family law

as you do into studying
my eating habits.

Are your bike undies too tight?
You've been a dick all week.

Road bikers don't wear underwear.

Oh, I just finished it.

You'll have to make a new pot.

Hey, whatever you said to Danielle,

thank you. She hasn't texted me

a single bridesmaid dress
option in over a week.

[ABBY] Same.

Baby Bhadu is out of the ICU!

What the hell is she saying?

She sounds like Dr. Seuss.

- [LUCY] That's great.
- They want to come in this afternoon.

Not a problem. Abigail
will take care of it.

I'm not your notary.

- Do you have a minute?
- Not much more than that. My office?

Jerri?

- What's that all about?
- When are you and Daniel

going to learn?

I stay out of the politics.

But you know where all
the bodies are buried.

It's not healthy to keep
all that to yourself.

It's time I was made partner.

Little early for that.

I've been here since I
articled during law school.

- Six years.
- Seven.

I've increased my billable hours.

- I have my own referral sources.
- I hope so.

I've brought in a lot
of new business and

I'm already doing way
more than an associate.

Maybe we can talk about a raise.

Come on.

You need a succession plan.

I'm already taking on a lot of
the management responsibilities

so you can work on your golf game.

Golf's not a game, Daniel.
It's business.

Well, then while you're
doing "business" out there,

- you need someone running things here.
- That's Jerri.

You need a partner, Dad.

No one is as committed
to this firm, to you,

to everything you've built as I am.

[NINA] Your 10:30 is here, Mr. Svensson.

Send her in.

Leave it with me.

I'll consider it.

[♪]

[ABIGAIL] Hi.

I hear Kirin is out of
the ICU. That's great news.

He's got hypo-plastic
left-heart syndrome.

They think he'll need at
least two more surgeries.

But not right away.

Over the next couple of years.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

How are you holding up?

Um...

It's... been really hard.

Well, I'm sure you want to get
back to the hospital right away,

- so, Ajay, if you could just sign...
- Uh, that's not why we're here.

We want to get out of this.

We want to give the baby back.

[♪]

You must think we're the
worst people in the world.

He needs round-the-clock care
and a team of specialists.

We just want what's best for him, right?

We need you to get us
out of the adoption.

[STAMMERS] Legally, it's possible.

[ABBY EXHALES]

But you've been through a lot this week.

You're exhausted.

I'd advise you

to get some sleep

and really be sure
this is what you want.

[AJAY] It's not about what we want.

It's about giving Kirin what he needs.

If you would like to talk to someone,

Lucy Svensson is excellent.

- She's just right across the hall.
- Thank you.

Adoption was a big decision.

Unadopting is a big decision, too.

[♪]

[ABBY] Who the hell gives a baby back?

I mean, there are days where
I want to give Sofia back,

- but she's 13.
- They made a commitment to this child.

- They need to stick to it.
- Every other major life decision,

you can back out of...
Sell a house, get divorced...

But a baby?

You're in it for life.

I don't know, are you?

They thought they were
getting a healthy kid.

They were sold a false bill of goods.

We're not talking about a
defective blender, Harry.

This is a baby. You can't
just opt out of being a parent.

Well, some people do.

At least our clients are
being upfront about it.

I think it takes courage

to admit they're not the
right parents for this baby.

Think how hard it must be for them.

All the judgment, even
though they're trying

- to do what's best.
- Oh, come on!

What good is honoring a commitment

for the sake of commitment

if they can see it's not going to work?

Also, technically, it's
not even really theirs.

It's not like they're giving away
their biological kid.

So you're saying

if Maggie and I have a
baby and she carries it,

the baby won't be mine?

Maybe not as much yours.

[PHONE RINGS]

That wasabi's going up your nose.

Hey, Mom. What's up?

[♪]

My doubles partner twisted her ankle

so I came home early
to find those two little horny toads

entwined on my sofa. My new sofa.

How Sofia can stand to have

a pierced tongue shoved down her th...

Okay! I can handle it from here.

- Thank you. Yeah.
- Okay.

[EXHALING DEEPLY]

It's Justin, right?

How old are you again?

- 15.
- Mm. How old's my daughter?

13?

You ever heard the
term "statutory rape"?

- Mom!
- You know her dad and I

are both lawyers, right?
So why don't you go home

and read up on what happens
to registered sex offenders?

Mom. Stop!

[♪]

And you, get your bag
and get in the car.

I'm taking you back to school

with a shred of your dignity intact,

and hopefully, all of your virginity.

- He's never going to talk to me again!
- Well, you're welcome.

Gah!

[♪]

You have to ground her.

Okay? No sleepovers,
no friends after school.

Okay, slow... slow down.

And her computer time
needs to be supervised.

Or, you know what?
No. No. No screen time.

I know a guy who can get
us access to her texts.

Stop.

Do you hear yourself?

- You have to calm down.
- Calm down?

If Joanne hadn't come home when she did,

we'd be having a very different
conversation right now,

- and potentially a very ugly one.
- Abby.

Sofia's experiences

aren't yours.

She isn't you.

[QUIETLY] Come on.

[♪]

I'd love to hear how you two met.

At work.

I had pretty much given
up on meeting anybody.

And then she found love
in the condiments aisle.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm a buyer at a grocery store.

I was starting my own
artisanal hot sauce company...

"Bhadu's Big Hot."
You've probably seen it.

Jane really helped me
get it off the ground.

She's so good with networking
and bottle-sourcing, uh...

Website stuff, bookkeeping, marketing.

It lets Ajay focus on being creative.

She's even trying to get
me a slot on "Dragon's Den."

My beautiful muse.

The Dora Maar to my Picasso.

[CHUCKLES BRIEFLY]

You know, Picasso drove Dora Maar

to a nervous breakdown.

[AJAY] Well, Bhadu's Big
Hot launched last year.

We started in farmer's markets,
then rolled into select stores.

Well, "store."

- The one that I work for.
- [LUCY] That's great.

Uh, sales haven't been
as good as projected.

Early days, babe.

Yeah.

I was going to go back to
work when Kirin turned one,

but now, with his heart condition

and all the medical appointments...

One of us would have to stay home,

and we can't afford that.

What led to your decision to adopt?

We tried for years to have our own,

but... after three miscarriages...

The doctors said I can't
carry a baby to term.

[AJAY] So we started
the adoption process

and Theresa picked us.

[CHUCKLES SMUGLY]

Theresa's the birth mother?

[JANE] Yeah. She's amazing.

I went with her to all
her prenatal appointments.

I even did yoga with her.

Just you?

Well, Ajay's been so busy.

But we were both there
when Kirin was born.

It was a dream come true.

[HE MOUTHS WORDS]

And now we have to come to terms

with the end of that dream.

But we've got other dreams, right, babe?

We'll build Bhadu's Big Hot.

Make it a household name.

Like Newman's Own.

[CHUCKLES]

I am so proud of you.

You're my rock.

Thanks.

- Can you call Abby for me, please?
- Of course, Ms. Svensson.

Uh, Ms. Bianchi? The
Bhadus are here to see you.

[QUIETLY] This is your decision, too.

[♪]

We've made up our minds.

We think Kirin should be with parents

who can give him what he needs.

I can't.

I can't give my son away.

- I'm keeping Kirin.
- Yay! [CLAPS]

[♪]

You're kidding, right? We
only got him 37 days ago.

I know, but I've been living
at the hospital all week.

Exactly. You haven't slept. You

barely eat. You're
not thinking straight.

Mr. Bhadu. Let her finish.

Every time I hold
Kirin, I feel our bond...

- Ahh.
- It's like we're physically attached.

He is mine and I am his,

and I'm sorry, but
nothing can change that.

This is nuts.

Maybe if you give it a
chance, you'll feel the same.

No.

No. If you do this?

It's over.

We're over.

- Please don't do this.
- You. You're doing this.

Not me.

It's him.

[♪]

So there hasn't been much sleep?

Or anything else.

[LAUGHING]

Lucy!

Hey, babe.

Uh, Nicole and Erica brought Prosecco.

[NICOLE] We wanted to mark the occasion.

Iris meeting her
aunties, Maggie and Lucy,

for the first time.

Hi! Here you go.

[IRIS CRYING]

[SCREAMING]

[ERICA] It was my egg,

but somehow, she got Nicole's nose.

[CRYING]

Um, can you help me with
something over there?

Um, yeah.

[IRIS FUSSING]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

Nice. Staging that whole scene?

I'm supposed to see how great it is?

What a natural I am?

How much fun it's gonna
be hanging with our babies?

Are you high?

I started looking at
sperm donors, didn't I?

I was getting there, but
you just had to push it.

They were in the neighbourhood

- and asked if they could stop by.
- Oh, yeah.

Read Nicole's text.

Oh.

Yeah. "Oh."

[LUCY SIGHS]

How could you even think
I'd be that manipulative?

I'm sorry.

I'm dealing with this couple at work...

Our friends are waiting for us.

[SIGHS]

[♪]

- Sofia.
- Oh, my god. Go away!

Sofia, it was completely inappropriate

for you to skip school

and bring a boy to your
grandmother's house,

but... but I may have overreacted.

Just a tiny bit.

If any of my friends see me with you,

I will literally die.

You're not gonna "literally die."

Fine, I'll figuratively die,

my life as I know it will be over.

Just... Just stop and listen
to me for a second, okay?

I want to understand.

What do you see in that boy?

Who cares?

You already hate him.

No. I don't even know him.

Come on. What do you like about him?

He's deep.

He writes poetry.

He doesn't just accept
what society says,

you know, he reads a lot
of articles on Reddit.

Mom. Stop making that face
like a rat died in your salad.

What? This is my "listening" face.

[ABBY SIGHS, FRUSTRATED]

Your dad and I want to meet him,

- for a family dinner.
- Uh, no.

Family dinner with Justin,
or girls' boarding school.

Your choice.

Yeah, I spent last night
at the hospital with Kirin.

They might release him
in a couple of days.

- That's great.
- Yeah.

[JANE CHUCKLES]

But when I went home
this morning to shower,

Ajay said I have to move out.

- Are you kidding me? With a new baby?
- It makes sense.

I mean, the house is his.
Well, he rented it long before we met,

and he's got the
basement all set up

- to make his hot sauce.
- I know where I'd tell him

- to stick his hot sauce.
- [DANIEL] Abigail.

Ajay will be here any minute.

We'll get the amended
adoption papers signed,

giving you primary custody.

Hi. Um, Mr. Bhadu's
here with his lawyer.

Who is it?

Um, Philip Sterling from
Sterling, Grossman, and Foster.

He got Phil Sterling?

[♪]

Can we help you with something?

Harry Svensson.

Nice to meet you.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Morning, Daniel. Harry.

And you must be the prodigal daughter.

Phil! Good to see you.

But we're just signing

some amended adoption
papers this morning...

Way below your pay grade.

Oh, this isn't just signing papers.

No, my client was coerced
and manipulated into this,

and he wants his name stricken
from all adoption documents.

What? How can you say that?

Here's the correspondence
with the birth mother.

All written by your client.

Because you said

that writing would make
your carpal tunnel come back!

[CHUCKLES] After three miscarriages,

Jane was so depressed.

I encouraged her to see a therapist,

- but she wouldn't.
- Why are you lying?

[AJAY] She was obsessed
with having a kid.

I was scared, if I
didn't go along with it,

she'd hurt herself.

You want to take your
name off of everything?

- Fine!
- [SVENSSON TEAM] No!

Uh, give us a moment.

[PHIL] Of course.

- You can't let him opt out.
- Why not?

If he wants nothing to do with Kirin,
we're better off without him.

- Ajay has...
- Financial responsibilities.

He owes you spousal support
and child support for Kirin.

- Exactly what I was about to say.
- What support? He's broke.

You're entitled to a 50-50 division

of all the family property.

That includes the growth
of Bhadu's Big Hot.

He created it with you. It's half yours.

- It could take off.
- Jane...

after all that he's done,

I wouldn't want anything
to do with him either,

but you have to think of Kirin.

It's gonna be brutally expensive

raising him alone in this city.

Especially if you have
to take extended time off

for his medical care.

He needs every bit of support.

Even if it's minuscule at this point.

Don't let him do this to your son.

We'll fight this.

If you want to waste everyone's
time and money, please, go ahead.

Why are you slumming, Phil?

Guy ditching his wife and newborn baby?

Not exactly feel-good pro bono work.

You know I can't discuss
this with you, Harry.

Well.

Am I being monitored now?

To see if I'm worthy of partnership?

You're not the least bit curious

why Phil Sterling is
taking a personal interest?

[NINA] Mr. Svensson?

Oh. [CHUCKLES] Mr. Junior Svensson?

Um, there's a Ms.
Banning here to see you.

[♪]

My schedule is jammed today, Parker,

and I wasn't expecting you, so.

Oh, that's okay.

Look. I've been
reflecting on this whole...

"50-50 custody" thing.

I love Craigy so much...

but Kyle and Craig have
a really special bond

and it would be selfish of
me to get in the way of that.

It's breaking my heart,

but my mind is made up.

I want Kyle to have full custody.

If you're sure that's what you want,

I would be happy to set up a meeting.

Great. You're the best.

- Parker!
- Yeah?

Oh, I thought I could leave
him here for Kyle to pick up.

[CRAIG PANTING]

Come on, Craigy! Let's go.

Let's go for a walk, you big boy.

Oh, look at you, handsome boy!

Yes! Look at your hat!

Abigail.

I need the name and number
of that investigator you use.

What'd you do now?

Well, whatever it is, I'm
not defending you this time.

[♪]

[DANIEL] My client respectfully

requests an interim
order from the court,

- granting her primary custody.
- Your Honor...

custody may be moot.

Who's this?

Ms. Theresa Holowenko, Your Honor.

Kirin's birth mother.

We're applying to the court

to have Ms. Holowenko added
as a party to this litigation.

Approach.

Thank you.

Your Honor.

I changed my mind.

I don't want this
woman to adopt my baby.

[♪]

Your Honor, Ms. Holowenko
had 30 days to change her mind.

That date has come and gone.

Ms. Holowenko chose Mr. and Mrs. Bhadu.

I would like to hear from Ms. Holowenko.

[THERESA] I never wanted

my child raised by a single parent.

It's how I grew up

and it's not what I want for my baby.

I'm not asking to keep him.

I just want to make sure
that he goes to two parents.

Your Honor,

Ms. Holowenko had many loving couples

who wanted to adopt her baby.

She chose Mr. and Mrs. Bhadu

based on circumstances
that no longer exist.

This is much more complicated

than vacating an adoption order.

You deserve to be heard, Ms. Holowenko.

We will reconvene tomorrow at 11:00.

Your Honor, we respectfully request...

- Tomorrow.
- [BANGS GAVEL]

At 11:00.

[♪]

I'm willing to bet
Phil Sterling planted those doubts

in the birth mother's mind.

- Yeah, with Ajay's backing.
- [LUCY] The man can't stand

to share Jane's attention with the baby

because he's a big baby himself.

Why are you eating like a normal
human being all of a sudden?

What happened to your
diarrhea smoothies?

Apparently, Theresa's intention

is to give Kirin to her
second-choice couple.

Kids from two-parent families

fare better than those
raised by single ones.

- You did not just say that.
- Where are you getting your facts?

You are aware that all three of us

were basically raised by single mothers?

I was bringing home the bacon.

- None of you ever lacked for anything.
- Uh, let's see...

Unconditional love, attention,

emotional support...

[HARRY] It's not the
birth mother's choice.

The child will go into care
while the government sorts out

who's at the top of the wait-list.

I'm counting on you

to kick Phil Sterling's butt.

If he wins, I have to buy dinner...

And Phil's made it clear

he plans to order the
2010 Mouton Rothschild.

[♪]

Got your flowers.

[SIGHS]

- I'm sorry.
- You should be.

But you're too damn hot to stay mad at.

[LUCY CHUCKLES]

Plus, the espresso machine's not working

and you're the only one
who knows how to fix it.

All right, well, can I
buy you a coffee for now?

Yes.

Let me get my purse.

You're Abigail.

Maggie. Lucy's wife.

- Oh!
- It's so great to meet you.

Maybe we could have you
over for brunch some weekend.

Brunch?

Ah!

[♪]

_

[CAR DOOR SHUTS]

Beautiful day.

Sure is.

You know, my parents were
married for eight years,

then my dad knocked up his secretary

and lost interest in me and my mom.

That's rough.

Probably for the best.

You know, my mom rocked
the single-parent thing.

Mm-hmm.

This idea some people have

that two parents are better than one...

Even if one is a total douchebag...

It's just, it's so stupid.

I knew you looked familiar.

How did you find me here?

You posted your
workplace on social media,

and your boss was remarkably forthcoming

about your whereabouts.

I'd talk to him, if I were you.

- Well, I have to get back to work.
- Sure. Yeah.

But first, um...

come with me.

It'll take an hour, tops.

No way.

For your time.

[♪]

[BILLS RUSTLING]

[THERESA] This is totally unethical.

She'll never stop fighting
for that little boy.

Isn't that what you want for him?

[THERESA] I've made up my mind.
He needs two parents.

[MEDICAL MONITORS BEEPING]

How easy do you think it's gonna be?

Finding two perfect parents

to care for a baby as sick as Kirin?

Parents as devoted as she is?

[♪]

Hey! Jane's on her way in.

Because?

Theresa Holowenko's back
on-board with the adoption.

- Since when?
- Since I ran into her.

You "ran into her"? Abby.

Isn't that great news?
I knew she'd come around.

It means we're back on
track to get you custody

and adopt Kirin.

With support from Ajay.

Actually, he came by the hospital.

Why?

He said he won't fight me anymore.
He just wants me to be happy.

Wonderful. He can back that
up with support payments.

[JANE] Oh, he did.

He gave me a lump sum
in exchange for agreeing

to take his name off of
all the adoption paperwork.

- You didn't sign anything, did you?
- I signed a release,

and I get sole custody of
Kirin, no strings attached,

and he gave me $5,000!

[♪]

We were in the driver's seat.

No judge would've let Ajay walk away
for a measly five grand.

They've been married six years.

That alone means she's entitled

to half of the growth of his property

and half of his hot sauce.

Ah. Kitchen-sink arrangement like that?

She had no independent legal advice.

We could get that overturned.

But not if our client
doesn't want us to pursue it.

I thought you and Danielle

weren't allowed to eat refined sugar.

Speaking of Danielle,

I sent her dates for her wedding shower

three days ago and I haven't heard back.

She probably has so
many thoughts on that,

she's still typing a response.

[DANIEL] It's off, okay?

The engagement's off.

I broke up with her.

Happy?

- Daniel...
- Do not follow me.

Do not say a word.

Whew.

You called it.

I wish I was wrong.

Yeah. I kinda liked her.

- Me too.
- [ABBY EXHALES DEEPLY]

Well.

Congratulations.

You're the only Svensson with
a functioning relationship.

[ABBY CHUCKLES]

Oh, we should find out
what day they broke up.

The office pool.

I could use the cash. Tch.

[KYLE] There's no way
she'd give me custody

out of the goodness of her stone-cold,

black, shriveled-up
little raisin of a heart.

[PARKER] I'm doing it for Craig.

[KYLE SCOFFS] No.
You're doing it for Doug.

That's ridiculous.

Doug and Craig are like this.

You've seen the photos of them together.

You know Doug's friends
with Dave, right?

- My buddy from hockey?
- [MOCKINGLY] "My buddy from hockey."

Yeah, well, guys talk
in the locker room.

Well, Dave heard all about

how Doug doesn't like the
way Craig watches him while

he's having sex... I
assume he means with you.

So, no. I'm not gonna
take full custody of Craig

so that you can have better
sex in our bed with Doug!

Well, it's not your bed anymore.

[KYLE] Fine.

I'll take Craig full-time.

But you're paying half...

His food, massage, grooming,
vet bills, doggy daycare.

I'm not paying half for a
dog that I never get to see.

- You're the one that said...
- So you're just washing

your hands of him, like
you were never his mother?

- [DANIEL WHISTLES]
- Just so you can get laid?

[SNAPS] You both need to grow the f...

[CALMLY] grow the eff up. Okay?

Parker.

Close the bedroom door.

- My bed is in a loft.
- Get a baby gate!

Kyle! Move on. She has.

The agreement stands! 50-50!

[TENDERLY] I wasn't
yelling at you, Craig.

[CRAIG PANTS]

When did Danielle stop
obsessively texting you?

Um...

last Thursday.

That was right around the
start of Daniel's pissy mood.

I can't believe I
didn't put that together.

[CHUCKLING] Looks like
a certain office manager

is going to Mexico with her wife!

Hoo, hoo, hoo! Oh...

Harry wants to see you
and Abigail in his office.

[JERRI BEGINS TYPING RAPIDLY]

[DANIEL] What's up?

Why did Phil Sterling

choose to represent
Mr. Bhadu personally?

Come on. This again? I don't know.

I assume it was a favour to a friend.

I had Abigail's private
investigator do a little digging.

Turns out

"Ajay Bhadu" isn't his real name.

He was born Vikram Dhesi.

Of the London "Dhesis".

Family's in the import-export business.

Worth a fortune.

And Ajay's family is
footing Sterling's bill.

And a whole lot more.

Daniel?

Never assume.

[♪]

What's it like, working
with your father?

Like building pyramids for the Pharaoh,

except it doesn't pay as well

and his ego's bigger. [CHUCKLES]

But nobody else was gonna
take me on after, uh...

Why do you think he did that?

After all of these
years of estrangement?

Guilt?

You mentioned he left your mother

when you were seven.

When did he stop spending time with you?

As soon as he left.

He likes to remind me
that he paid for braces

and summer camp, university...

Didn't bother coming
to my grad, of course.

Or my wedding.

Was he invited?

Oh, God, no.

[DR. ATTWAR CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

What?

It's interesting.

For Harry to take you on,

risk his professional reputation.

That's a big leap from
no contact for 33 years.

Well, maybe he's pondering
his own mortality.

- Atoning before he dies.
- Is he ill?

No. Stupidly fit.

Looks 10 years younger than he is.

- He has these short shorts...
- And what about your mother?

Did she ever encourage Harry
to become more involved in your life?

Uh, she encouraged him to
burn in hell, as I recall.

[LAUGHS]

That must've been hard for you,

navigating their relationship.

What relationship?

If he called, she'd hang up.

If he showed up at the house,
she'd crank up the stereo...

"Don't Talk to Strangers."

Rick Springfield?

Anyway, he hated that
song, so, uh, he'd leave.

Finally, he just gave up.

[♪]

[JOANNE] So my doubles partner's

gonna be out for weeks.

Torn ligament or something.

I was thinking about asking Adele,

- but she's such a flake.
- Mom...

did Harry ever invite me to Disneyland?

What?

Well, I would've been about 14.

He took Daniel and Lucy.

Did you eat the rest of the olives?

Mom.

Oh, Abigail.

- It was so long ago, who can remember?
- Well, I'd like to know.

What difference does
it make? He left us.

He abandoned you.

No trip to Disneyland's
gonna make up for that.

[♪]

Your Honor, Mrs. Bhadu already agreed,

in writing,

to a generous offer from my client.

Made under false pretenses,

without any legal advice
or proper disclosure.

Had she known her husband had
been lying about his identity...

[PHIL] My client
changed his name legally,

before he met her.

And Mr. Bhadu will tell
you he changed his name

to distance himself
from his family dynasty

and prove he could be a self-made man.

[PHIL] Your Honor,

he's putting words in my client's mouth.

Quiet, Mr. Sterling.

This is fascinating.

Continue, Mr. Svensson.

The truth is,

Vikram Dhesi never shared
his real name with his spouse

because he didn't want her to know

that he was receiving
a monthly allowance

of $20,000.

20,000?

[DANIEL] Every month since he was 21.

Money he used to buy the
house they lived in together...

A house he told Mrs.
Bhadu he was renting.

So, while she worked 40 hours a week

to help Mr. Dhesi launch
his hot sauce company,

Mr. Dhesi was pocketing $240,000 a year.

With all due respect to my colleague,

a $5,000 lump sum payment
is far from "generous".

We've done the math

based on Mr. Dhesi's
real income and assets...

and come up with

a reasonable division of property

and a monthly support
plan for Mrs. Bhadu.

That's a lot of zeros.

[JUDGE PENNYFEATHER CHUCKLES]

Excellent work, Mr. Svensson.

Mr. Sterling,

I sincerely hope that
you're as disgusted

with these revelations as I am.

Thank you.

Thank you so much!

Not gonna lie.

Feels great to take Ajay's money.

And when Pennyfeather
ordered him to pay costs?

Mm, nothing I like better than
watching Phil Sterling lose.

You're becoming a very
good lawyer, Daniel.

Thanks, Dad.

But you're not ready
for the partnership.

- You just said...
- This is a business.

You take a shit and you
think about the case...

That's on the clock.

You take on

too many sad-sack clients
and pro bono cases.

You just told me to take
on Jane Bhadu for nothing.

I knew we'd get paid!

And the only reason we won

was because I smelled
a rat and hired a P.I.

How much are you collecting
from that couple with the dog?

- That's an arbitration.
- Well, the pug sure as hell

isn't paying for the
firm's holiday party.

You want to make partner?

Prove to me you have
a head for business.

Alternative dispute
resolution is the future.

If I can keep people out of court,

word gets around.
That means more clients!

I don't have to tell you

the firm makes more on one litigation

than on 10 of your collaborative cases.

My retainers alone
exceed your collections.

[SIGHS HEAVILY] Daniel.

We can... We can revisit this in a year.

For now,

focus on your beautiful fiancée.

Have the wedding of your dreams.

This... should be the
happiest time of your life.

[SLAMS GLASS DOWN]

[QUARTET] ♪ Daniel ♪

♪ Daniel ♪

♪ She gave you her answer, Pooh ♪

♪ She's half... ♪

Awesome engagement gift, right?
That's my cousin on the left.

♪ ... For the love of you ♪

♪ It will be A stylish marriage ♪

♪ You can afford a carriage ♪

♪ But she'll look sweet ♪

♪ Upon the seat ♪

♪ Of a bicycle built for two-o-o-o ♪

♪ Your bicycle built for two ♪

Yeah!

[OFFICEMATES APPLAUDING]

Hey-hey-hey! Congratulations!

Oh! Amazing!

[AWKWARD APPLAUSE]

Yeah!

[BRYAN APPLAUDING ENTHUSIASTICALLY]

[♪]

[JUSTIN] Yeah, I had the
idea way before it came out,

except mine was cooler

'cause it had these two
stoners who were playing FPS,

and they were just shooting
each other the entire time.

That doesn't sound anything
like Ready Player One.

He just said it was cooler, dorkus.

[FRANK] Okay. Ahem.

This has been great,
but it is a school night,

so we should probably wrap it up.

Uh, I see what you mean...

- the "Charles Manson" thing.
- [ABBY LAUGHS]

- What the hell does she see in him?
- Apparently, he's a poet.

Ha. Yeah.

If Whitman was an inarticulate wannabe

without an original thought in his head,

yeah... [LAUGHING] I see it now.

You don't have to worry.

I'm not leaving those
two alone for a second.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, uh...

I'm seeing a therapist.

Not just for the receipts this time.

- How is it?
- She's barely older than Sofia...

but surprisingly insightful.

That's great.

[ABBY] Okay, guys, I gotta go.

I want hugs.

You too, Sofia.

[♪]

[♪]

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey

♪ Disco divin'

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --