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1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:05,081
? Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ?
2
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:08,351
? Songs that made
the hit parade ?
3
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,454
? Guys like us we had it made ?
4
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:14,024
? Those were the days ?
5
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:17,193
? And you knew
where you were then ?
6
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:20,396
? Girls were girls
and men were men ?
7
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:25,568
? Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again ?
8
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,738
? Didn't need no welfare state ?
9
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,741
? Everybody pulled his weight ?
10
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:35,745
? Gee, our old
LaSalle ran great ?
11
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:41,607
? Those were the days ?
12
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,825
Coming!
13
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,869
Well, wait a minute.
14
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,537
Coming!
15
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:06,742
Hello? Hello, Edith.
16
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:10,380
Hello. Will you
excuse me, please?
17
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,849
My phone is ringin'. Coming!
18
00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:15,185
Hello? Oh, Gloria!
19
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:19,156
I can't talk to you now,
there's a man at the door.
20
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:23,493
No. He's wearing a mustache,
but he don't look dangerous.
21
00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:26,329
I got the chain on, anyway.
22
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:29,699
Yeah, come right over,
the dinner's almost ready.
23
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,501
Yeah, bye.
24
00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,536
Coming!
25
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,006
Oh, I'm sorry.
26
00:01:36,030 --> 00:01:37,640
You don't remember me, do you?
27
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:43,013
Well, yeah. You're the man
that was at the door just now.
28
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,148
I'll give you a hint.
29
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:48,285
The last time you saw
me, I had a big beard
30
00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,869
and it was full of
your wedding cake.
31
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,933
F-Fred?
32
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:08,571
Fred Bunker? Oh...
33
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,106
Excuse me!
34
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,608
Fred, come in!
35
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,743
Fred Bunker!
36
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,913
Oh, my! Oh, my! Oh!
37
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,548
Oh! Oh! Oh!
38
00:02:19,874 --> 00:02:21,084
Oh!
39
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:25,355
Oh, it's been 29 years!
40
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:28,224
Twenty-nine years, 29...
41
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:31,995
Edith, the smartest thing my
brother ever did was to marry you.
42
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:37,122
Oh... oh, you put back the
tooth Archie knocked out.
43
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,336
It's very nice!
44
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,606
Oh, come on and sit...
Oh, you want some coffee?
45
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:44,908
Oh, no, don't go to no trouble.
46
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:49,712
No, it's no trouble! Come
on in the kitchen with me!
47
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:53,249
Well, Fred, when
did you get here?
48
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:56,719
I, uh, I just drove up
from Baltimore with Amy.
49
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:58,388
Who's Amy?
50
00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,890
Oh, Amy is a
woman I'm living with.
51
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:04,294
Oh.
52
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,195
Ever since I
divorced Janice there.
53
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:09,666
What happened to Dorothy?
54
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:13,269
Oh, Dorothy ran
away with a foot doctor.
55
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:15,772
Oh, that's too bad.
56
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,840
No, it worked out
very well for her.
57
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,576
She had bad feet.
58
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,600
Oh.
59
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:25,782
Oh, well, why didn't
you bring Amy with you?
60
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:28,017
Oh, well, she's out doi"
some shoppin' there.
61
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,954
You know, I didn't want to
create a problem, you know.
62
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,356
Oh, yeah.
63
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:37,393
So, how are things
going with the... problem?
64
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:41,553
Oh, fine! He'll be home
to dinner any minute.
65
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,236
He owns his own
bar now, you know,
66
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:48,671
just a few blocks from here.
67
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,440
Ma, we're here!
68
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:51,708
In the kitchen!
69
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,409
Oh, Michael's starvin'.
70
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:54,944
Yeah, I'm so hungry
I could eat a horse.
71
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,128
But since you haven't got
a horse, any kinda pie'll do.
72
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:02,418
Oh! Oh.
73
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:07,056
This is my son-in-law
Michael Stivic.
74
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,326
And this is our little Gloria!
75
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,517
Oh, grown up now.
76
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,699
You'll never guess who this is.
77
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,369
I'll give you a hint.
78
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:24,007
One... he's Archie's
only livin' relative.
79
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:29,012
Two... he ain't on
my side of the family.
80
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:34,005
And three... he's
your uncle. Guess!
81
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:37,186
Uncle Alfred.
82
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,488
Oh, she was always so smart.
83
00:04:39,512 --> 00:04:42,125
Oh, Uncle Alfred!
84
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:46,428
Well, come on, let's go in
the livin' room and you can talk.
85
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,197
Here's your coffee.
86
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:49,832
My Uncle Alfred!
87
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:52,535
So you're the brother that
Archie never talks about.
88
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,037
The one and only.
89
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:56,673
You never even saw me,
even when I was a baby.
90
00:04:56,697 --> 00:05:00,576
No, he drove all the way
up here from Baltimore!
91
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,178
In a car!
92
00:05:02,202 --> 00:05:04,180
With... with Amy!
93
00:05:04,204 --> 00:05:05,581
Oh, is Amy your wife?
94
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:06,871
Uh, no, uh...
95
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,493
Oh.
96
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,763
You sure you're
Archie's brother?
97
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,564
We're very good friends.
98
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:24,801
Does Daddy know that
you and Amy are here?
99
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:25,968
No.
100
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,037
He'll be here any minute.
101
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:34,410
Oh, boy, is he
gonna be surprised.
102
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:37,714
Honey, maybe we should
go home and have corn flakes.
103
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:42,418
Uh-uh. I'm stayin' for this!
104
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:45,422
Hey, Uncle Alfred, would you
and Amy like to stay for dinner?
105
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,589
Is that okay, Ma?
106
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:49,592
Yeah, that'd be nice.
107
00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:51,695
Edith, I'm home.
108
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,731
Listen, I ain't got much time,
so get the dinner on, will ya?
109
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,232
I gotta get back to the saloon.
110
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:58,256
The kid called in sick again.
111
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,372
Oh, geez.
112
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,576
Archie, this is your brother.
113
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,727
Thanks for tellin' me, Edith.
114
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,830
Hey, Arch. Long
time, no see, huh?
115
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,488
Long time, no care either.
116
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:34,903
Well, let's everybody
sit down now. Come on.
117
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:39,275
Don't haul me. Don't
haul me. Don't haul me!
118
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,643
Don't do that.
119
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,545
You wanna do somethin',
go in and get a beer.
120
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,812
Oh, all right.
121
00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:46,015
Oh, Gloria, come on
and help me, please.
122
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,683
- Oh, not now, Ma.
- No!
123
00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:51,054
Ma, I wanna show Uncle
Alfred my baby pictures.
124
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,055
You wanna see my baby pictures?
125
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,422
Yeah, maybe I should
go help them, too.
126
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:54,423
No, you stay here.
127
00:06:54,447 --> 00:06:55,424
- I thought that...
- Sit down!
128
00:06:55,448 --> 00:06:56,608
I'll sit down.
129
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,543
So?
130
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,692
Funny. All these years
I've been thinkin' of things
131
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:33,062
I'd say to ya, and now
the words don't come.
132
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,832
Probably just as well...
133
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:40,191
If there anything like the
words I'm chokin' back.
134
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,144
So...
135
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:51,080
Fred, what kind
of work do you do?
136
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,349
He's a professional
troublemaker.
137
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:56,486
He's a left-wing
union organizer.
138
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,653
You're kiddin' me.
139
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:58,922
I wish I was.
140
00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:00,122
I can't believe it...
141
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,325
Archie Bunker's
brother a commie pinko?
142
00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,828
Ha, how do you like that?!
143
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,196
I don't like it!
144
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,932
I love it! I love it!
145
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,701
He wanted to see old pictures.
146
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:14,670
Stop talkin'. Here's
a beer for you.
147
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:15,671
Here's your beer, Daddy.
148
00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:16,739
Oh, leave it there.
149
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,408
Here's some Fritos for you.
150
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:24,669
Oh, my! Just look at this!
151
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,842
Ain't this interestin'?
152
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:36,292
Two brothers that started out
153
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:40,029
in life together
exactly the same,
154
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:45,001
with ten little fingers
and ten little toes and...
155
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,827
And where this is gonna
end only a dingbat knows.
156
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,307
Oh, Daddy.
157
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,308
- Pinch him.
- Okay.
158
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,309
Ow!
159
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,310
Ow!
160
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,311
Ugh!
161
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:56,601
Ugh!
162
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,154
Hold it, hold it, hold
it! Shut up! Shut up!
163
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,989
Hey, all of ya's.
164
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,313
I started talkin' here.
165
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:18,468
So, uh, what finally happened
to the old house on Woodside?
166
00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:21,637
Oh, the last couple
that rented it bought it.
167
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,205
Yeah, I know.
168
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,942
You could've told
me you was sellin' it.
169
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,811
Archie, we couldn't
have bought it.
170
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,112
That ain't the point, Edith.
171
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,481
I like to know what's
happenin' to things
172
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,584
that should have been
mine in the first place!
173
00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:35,952
Yeah, you had a right.
174
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:38,020
It's just that I
had to sell it fast.
175
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,122
I had to settle things with
Dorothy there. I was just tellin'...
176
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,458
Yeah, I know. I know. I know.
177
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,226
Your wife left ya.
178
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,295
How did you know that?
179
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:47,719
I keep tabs!
180
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:52,156
I keep tabs is all.
181
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,404
I know his first wife left him.
182
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,129
And the second wife
walked out on him, too!
183
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:03,401
This guy changes wives as
often as I change my drawers.
184
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,114
I hope not.
185
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:08,718
I only changed
twice in 11 years.
186
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,056
He changes wives... He means
you change your underwear...
187
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,725
Gloria, Gloria,
Gloria, Gloria, Gloria!
188
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,349
That ain't funny.
That ain't funny.
189
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,699
Oh, I get it!
190
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:37,312
Come on, come on, let's
cut out all the crapola, huh?
191
00:10:37,336 --> 00:10:39,414
I mean, what's the point
of all this, huh, Fred?
192
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:40,616
Why'd you come here?
193
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,319
Hey, Archie, look
I just dropped by
194
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,188
to give you a couple things I
thought you ought to have here.
195
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:49,558
First, look, here's a kind
of a letter from me to you,
196
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,128
but I don't want you
to open it right now.
197
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,131
- When the hell am I
supposed to open it? - Later.
198
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,432
When later?
199
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,200
Three weeks.
200
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:00,436
You give me a letter I ain't
supposed to open in three weeks.
201
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,104
Here, look it here. Here's...
202
00:11:02,128 --> 00:11:04,128
It's Pop's old Hamilton.
203
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:13,371
It's from when he was a brakeman
on the Long Island railroad there.
204
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:24,193
I, uh, found it among a
bunch of stuff there, you know.
205
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,628
And I know you always liked it.
206
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,463
It doesn't keep
good time anymore,
207
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:30,421
but, hey, the front still
pops open there, you know.
208
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,565
Yeah.
209
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:43,512
Archie, Gloria and me
thought it would be nice,
210
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:47,638
so we invited Fred and Amy
to have dinner with us tonight.
211
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,509
Oh, Amy, huh?
212
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,625
Amy's the new wife, I guess.
213
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,750
Guess again.
214
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:05,200
I get it, one of
them things, huh?
215
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,369
Well, ain't that lovely?
216
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:11,073
Well, Edith, as long as you
invited the swingers to dinner here,
217
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,576
why don't you just invite them
to spend the night upstairs, huh?
218
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,145
What a good idea!
219
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,413
Frank, we got a nice room...
220
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,482
What a good idea?!
That ain't no good idea!
221
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:22,384
Hey, Arch, I don't need
you. I can always find a bed.
222
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,087
Yeah, well, you always could.
I'm gonna get the hell out of here.
223
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:27,089
- I'm goin'
back to the saloon. - Oh, Archie, no! Please!
224
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:29,925
No, no, Edith. No, I'm
sorry. I don't give a damn.
225
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,895
I ain't gonna have him press
his way of life down on me.
226
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,197
That's what he done to the old
man and put him in his grave.
227
00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,032
And then he didn't
show up to the funeral!
228
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,402
Archie, that ain't no way
to talk to your brother.
229
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,236
What the hell brother
are you talkin' about?!
230
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,039
I ain't had no
brother for 29 years!
231
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:47,298
Nearly a quarter
of a century, Edith.
232
00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:53,482
And I think the split between
us went back further than that.
233
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,351
Way further than that.
234
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,075
All the way back to
the big cockroach derby.
235
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,423
The big cockroach derby?
236
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,515
Yes! Yes, yes, the great race.
237
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:09,365
And his roach won because,
when my back was turned,
238
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,689
he poured Coca-Cola
over my roach.
239
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:15,804
It was after you tried
to set fire to mine!
240
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,640
Aw, go on. And when
I kicked your butt,
241
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:19,942
you went crawlin' back
and cryin' to Pop there
242
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,745
with a limp on ya, tellin'
him I took an axe to ya.
243
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:27,082
I don't believe this. Two grown
men still carryi" on a sibling rivalry?
244
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,774
Hey, hey, hey! He
sibled more than me!
245
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:32,655
And the old man caught him twice
246
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,879
and blamed me for
showin' him how to do it.
247
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,761
Oh, Archie, stop fightin'.
248
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:42,431
You're the same flesh and blood.
249
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:45,834
The two of ya came
out of the same mother.
250
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,137
Oh, don't say "come
out," would you?!
251
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:52,896
Geez, every time you talk about
nature, you make my flesh crawl.
252
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,700
Stop readin' Redbook!
253
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,550
Well, the hell with
all this. I'm goin'.
254
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,819
No, no, no! I'm
goin'. That's all.
255
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,189
Hey, sorry I couldn't spend
more time with ya, Fred, though.
256
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,825
But maybe sometime, you
know, we'll have lunch together.
257
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,594
We'll have a big
chat about the family.
258
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:14,664
I'll tell how beautiful things
was before you was born.
259
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:17,767
Maybe 29 years
from tomorrow, huh?
260
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:20,291
Let's make it at 12:30 sharp.
261
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,963
Ooh, geez!
262
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:12,688
I'll take three cards.
I'm tryin' to fill a straight.
263
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,246
I'll play these.
264
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:20,396
Let's see, you've got
at least a pair of aces.
265
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,563
How do you know?
266
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,734
Archie marked the cards.
267
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,935
Come on, get a
new deck, will ya?
268
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:29,071
You bring 'em in, we'll use 'em.
269
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,539
Hey! Hi, Arch.
270
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:31,940
Oh, hi, Arch.
271
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,709
Hi, Hank.
272
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,544
Hiya, Harry.
273
00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,646
Do me a favor, will ya?
274
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:41,472
Give me a double bourbon
over at the table there. Sure.
275
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,396
What do you got there, a letter?
276
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,254
What's it look
like? Who's it from?
277
00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,636
It's an invitation to
the White House.
278
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,726
Oh, you goin'?
279
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:08,210
No, I'm due at the ballet.
They're doin' "Swoon Lake."
280
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:12,315
Then can I have your
ticket to the White House?
281
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:16,274
Sprinkle a little bon
ami in his beer, will ya?
282
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,389
Somethin' the matter, Arch?
283
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,079
No, no, it's just...
284
00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:27,096
You ever heard of a bypass?
285
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,698
A bypass? Yeah,
that's when a bus driver,
286
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:33,757
instead of stoppin' to pick
you up, bypasses ya like this.
287
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:41,343
I'm talkin' about a
corona-rary bypass.
288
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,479
Oh, a heart operation,
like Kelsey had.
289
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,548
Yeah, people are gettin'
'em all the time now.
290
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,616
Who's havin' one?
291
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,140
Let me ask you somethin'.
292
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,356
What does the
execute-er of a will do?
293
00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,157
You mean the executor.
294
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,393
Whatever. What does he do?
295
00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,283
Well, nothin' till
somebody dies.
296
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,132
Say, Arch, are
you feelin' all right?
297
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,133
Customer, fellas.
298
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,134
Customers, customers, customers.
299
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,302
Oh, yeah, yeah.
300
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,804
Uh, come right in, sir.
What's your pleasure?
301
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,039
Hey, Arch.
302
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:15,632
Look, I... I couldn't take
off on a bad note like that.
303
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:22,139
Well, I shouldn't
have blew my top.
304
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:25,476
Well, what the hell,
you know how I am.
305
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:29,391
I guess I ain't
changed much, huh?
306
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,748
I ain't changed much either.
307
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,386
Well, sit down a minute.
308
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,624
Did you read that letter?
309
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,139
The one you told me
to hold for three weeks?
310
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,097
No.
311
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,412
Why? Is it important?
312
00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,602
Nothin' that couldn't wait.
313
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:00,812
Look, Arch.
314
00:18:02,048 --> 00:18:04,159
About Pop's funeral...
315
00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:06,228
Oh, well, forget
that. Forget that.
316
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,863
No, I want to tell ya about it.
317
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,598
What the hell could
you tell me about it?
318
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,322
You wasn't there, was ya?
319
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:15,571
Where the hell was
ya that day, huh?
320
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,835
What, were ya in
bed with a blonde?
321
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:20,297
Could have been a blonde.
322
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,479
Main thing is I was drunk.
323
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:25,814
You was drunk?
324
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:29,951
Pop's layin' there dead,
and you get drunk?
325
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,275
What, was you celebratin'?
326
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,024
I just didn't want
to say good-bye.
327
00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:36,380
To the blonde?
328
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,551
To Pop.
329
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,569
Poor Pop.
330
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,104
Yeah.
331
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,873
Poor Pop.
332
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,175
I drove him nuts!
333
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,034
Oh, you sure did.
334
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,082
But still in all,
335
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:03,518
boy, he'd give you
everything you ever wanted.
336
00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:05,687
Even at the end.
337
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,778
He gave you the house.
338
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,415
And he gave me the gate.
339
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:14,963
I don't know why, you know.
340
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:18,133
I... I always...
341
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:21,436
I always tried to stay out of
trouble and everything, didn't I?
342
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:22,592
Sure.
343
00:19:23,796 --> 00:19:26,574
I always did everything
he wanted me to.
344
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,210
Absolutely.
345
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:31,146
I always believed
everything he told me.
346
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,714
Without question.
347
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:37,407
Well, I mean, why did he
always think I was a dope?
348
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,989
Who cares what he...
349
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,890
I want to tell you somethin'.
350
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:44,493
I want to tell you
somethin' now...
351
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,984
that I never told to nobody.
352
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,792
Keep it down.
353
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:01,477
One night a long time ago, I
heard him talkin', you know.
354
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:05,080
Pop was sayin' to Mama...
that he only had enough money
355
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:07,782
to start one of us
out in college, see?
356
00:20:07,806 --> 00:20:10,986
And he said it had to be you.
357
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,910
'Cause you had it up here.
358
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:17,626
And if anybody
had to go on workin',
359
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:18,760
it had to be me.
360
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,262
'Cause he said...
361
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:23,032
Now, he said this.
362
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:26,068
My own father said this.
363
00:20:26,092 --> 00:20:30,139
He said if they put
my brains in a bird,
364
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:32,997
the bird would fly backwards.
365
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,042
I'm gonna tell you somethin'
I never told nobody before.
366
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:50,926
Now, for openers... you
know I always looked up to you.
367
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,729
You looked up to a birdbrain?
368
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:57,900
I mean, I was... I was
proud of you, Arch.
369
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,502
You know, Pop would...
Pop would belt you.
370
00:21:00,526 --> 00:21:01,870
You'd never cry.
371
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,807
Even when it was my fault,
you'd never even snitch on me.
372
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:08,310
Then you'd go right out and protect
me from tough guys down the block there.
373
00:21:08,334 --> 00:21:10,379
I mean, you had guts!
374
00:21:10,403 --> 00:21:15,417
I don't know... I don't know
why Pop wasn't proud of you.
375
00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,073
He should have been!
376
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,956
Wasn't until years
later that I figured out
377
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:24,915
why it was that he gave
me so much and you so little.
378
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:29,765
Why?
379
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:32,055
He was nuts!
380
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:36,605
Don't say a thing like that.
Don't say Pop was nuts!
381
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:39,608
Pop was nuts about everything!
382
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,365
Everything!
383
00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:47,904
Was he?
384
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,509
Remember what he said
when you brought Edith home?
385
00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:56,313
He said she was
too smart for me.
386
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:11,795
Well, maybe in some
ways Pop was a little nuts.
387
00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:16,311
Yeah. I mean, look what
you've made of yourself.
388
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,780
I mean, you got a
business here of your own.
389
00:22:18,804 --> 00:22:21,983
You got a beautiful
family that loves ya.
390
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:25,320
And she's the greatest
wife in the world.
391
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,145
And you got your self-respect.
392
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:34,606
Wow.
393
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:39,601
Still, I'm glad to have
the old watch, too.
394
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:41,236
Yeah, yeah, don't...
Don't go by it, though.
395
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,727
It loses a half-hour a day.
396
00:22:45,764 --> 00:22:47,742
That's okay.
397
00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:49,833
So do I.
398
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:52,470
Yeah.
399
00:22:53,505 --> 00:22:54,983
I guess...
400
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:58,309
I guess why I came
here, Arch, was...
401
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:05,127
Well, it was to
say that I'm sorry
402
00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:06,951
for what happened between us.
403
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:12,689
Well...
404
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:15,892
I'm sorry...
405
00:23:17,563 --> 00:23:20,797
for knockin' out your tooth
when you was nine years old.
406
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,003
Yeah.
407
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,819
Hey, I'll see ya, Arch, huh?
408
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,088
Well, uh, yeah,
well, wait a minute.
409
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:35,758
Uh, wait a second.
410
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:37,414
Uh...
411
00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:43,732
Yeah, yeah, I'll see ya around.
412
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:46,501
Hey, uh, remember,
413
00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:49,326
29 years from tomorrow, huh?
414
00:23:50,997 --> 00:23:53,408
Oh, yeah, yeah.
415
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,677
Yeah, the lunch.
416
00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:58,302
12:30 sharp, huh?
417
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,583
Well, uh, hey, Fred.
418
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:06,343
What the hell. Couldn't we
say three weeks from tomorrow?
419
00:24:07,846 --> 00:24:10,547
You know, after
I read the letter.
420
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:13,917
Yeah, why not?
421
00:24:47,619 --> 00:24:51,288
All in the Family was recorded
on tape before a live audience.
422
00:24:51,338 --> 00:24:55,888
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