Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,319 --> 00:00:04,561
♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,654 --> 00:00:07,655
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:11,326
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:14,329
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,423 --> 00:00:17,741
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,834 --> 00:00:21,336
♪ Lucky there's a manwho positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,837
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,172
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:30,029
♪ He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,128
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
11
00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:39,038
Doing laundry and drinking beer.
12
00:00:39,189 --> 00:00:40,931
I'm sorry.
13
00:00:41,066 --> 00:00:43,358
Doing laundry and drinking beer?
14
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,103
Quahog welcomes Duds & Suds,
15
00:00:46,121 --> 00:00:47,801
a new laundromat
that serves beer.
16
00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:50,532
So if you want to drink and
watch your kid's teacher wash
17
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,034
his only pair of pants,
get on down there.
18
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:54,628
- Ah, cool!
- We should go!
19
00:00:54,780 --> 00:00:56,613
Nothing better than
putting on a warm diaper
20
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:59,058
right out of the dryer.
21
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:10,977
Ah, I'm okay! Let's go again!
22
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,146
Shut up! Shut up!
23
00:01:13,299 --> 00:01:14,464
What's the problem?
24
00:01:14,483 --> 00:01:15,465
What day is it?
25
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:16,742
Wednesday?
26
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:19,803
Aka, the one day a
week I have independent study
27
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:21,896
first period and
get to sleep in!
28
00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:23,323
So shut up!
29
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,810
Stewie, when I was over
visiting Grandma and Grandpa,
30
00:01:26,903 --> 00:01:28,161
humiliating myself to ask them
31
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,882
to keep paying for
your preschool...
32
00:01:29,906 --> 00:01:32,240
I know you don't understand
me, but I understand you.
33
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,318
I found Chi-Chi!
34
00:01:34,411 --> 00:01:36,336
He's like your doll, Reuben.
35
00:01:36,488 --> 00:01:37,821
I know, I know, I know.
36
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,340
You called Joanna "Joanne"
the other day, it happens.
37
00:01:40,492 --> 00:01:43,009
He was always
very special to me,
38
00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:46,163
now I want him to
be very special to you.
39
00:01:46,181 --> 00:01:47,606
What is she even talking about?
40
00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,942
- Toy!
- Toy? Oh, oh, toy!
41
00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,852
Oh, well, why didn't you say so?
42
00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,338
- Yay, toy!
- Yay, toy!
43
00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:55,839
Shut! Up!
44
00:01:55,932 --> 00:01:57,341
I'm so sorry, Chris!
45
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,618
I forgot it was Wednesday!
46
00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,936
Oh, sorry, where are my manners?
47
00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:04,181
Chi-Chi, this is
Reuben... Uh, Rupert!
48
00:02:04,199 --> 00:02:05,936
Rupert! I-I
meant... I meant Rupert.
49
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,517
You know that.
50
00:02:11,615 --> 00:02:13,781
I know it's
not ideal that he's here,
51
00:02:13,876 --> 00:02:15,175
but I can't just throw him out.
52
00:02:15,361 --> 00:02:16,376
Lois would be crushed.
53
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,712
She has, like,
nothing in her life.
54
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,121
Of course I saw his Bible,
55
00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,723
that's the first thing I saw.
56
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:32,876
Hey, check it out.
57
00:02:32,895 --> 00:02:34,280
You and Peter have
the same undies.
58
00:02:34,304 --> 00:02:35,373
What are you talking about?
59
00:02:35,397 --> 00:02:36,708
He just wears
run-of-the-mill Hanes.
60
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:37,990
Yours aren't Hanes?
61
00:02:38,217 --> 00:02:39,641
No, mine are Planes.
62
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,051
All pilots wear them.
63
00:02:41,144 --> 00:02:42,494
Look at that, Planes.
64
00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:45,405
"The perfect underwear
for unexpected wind shear."
65
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,250
- Is that, like, farts?
- Yes, that's like farts.
66
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,674
Oh, hello, Doug.
67
00:02:55,901 --> 00:02:57,584
- Can I sit here?
- I don't care.
68
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,069
My stop is next.
69
00:02:59,162 --> 00:03:01,421
I assume you're taking
this to the end of the line?
70
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,074
Out to the land of cheap
rents and tract housing?
71
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,909
My stop's pretty soon, too.
72
00:03:05,928 --> 00:03:07,077
What's on your shoes?
73
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,521
Oh. These are called laces.
74
00:03:09,673 --> 00:03:12,191
I doubt you've ever
heard of them, Mr. Velcro.
75
00:03:12,342 --> 00:03:14,509
I know about laces! I've
just never seen black ones.
76
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,247
Geez. Why are you
always such a dick?
77
00:03:16,271 --> 00:03:17,863
Takes one to know one.
78
00:03:18,090 --> 00:03:20,014
Where did you learn
that? That's great!
79
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,849
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That-that wasn't about you.
80
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,109
I... I'm just...
81
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,204
There's-there's stuff
going on at home.
82
00:03:25,355 --> 00:03:27,435
I'd love to hear about
it, though fair warning:
83
00:03:27,599 --> 00:03:30,434
I know little of
lower-middle class plight.
84
00:03:30,452 --> 00:03:33,545
Eh, it's just this new stuffed
monkey Chi-Chi's making waves
85
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:34,938
with my old stuffy.
86
00:03:34,957 --> 00:03:36,509
I keep trying to get
rid of the monkey,
87
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,443
but my mom keeps finding
him... And I can tell you're bored.
88
00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:41,253
Far from it, Stewie.
I feel for you.
89
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,630
That actually sounds
like what I'm going through
90
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,890
with Miss Tiggywinkles.
91
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:46,283
- Really?
- Yeah.
92
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:48,518
It's really wearing on me.
93
00:03:50,213 --> 00:03:52,973
Hey, I just had a crazy idea.
94
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:55,027
We might be able to
help each other out.
95
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:56,217
How's that?
96
00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,812
Two fellas meet on a train,
97
00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:00,964
and do each other's murders.
98
00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:03,967
I kill Chi-Chi, you
kill Miss Tiggywinkles.
99
00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:06,136
Nobody could ever
connect us to the crimes.
100
00:04:06,154 --> 00:04:07,154
Crisscross.
101
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:09,373
You've got yourself a deal!
102
00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:13,660
Great. Well, this is my stop.
103
00:04:13,812 --> 00:04:15,881
No, no, no! You can't!
You can't! That's hot lava!
104
00:04:15,905 --> 00:04:18,382
Whoa. That was close.
105
00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:30,585
Giggity morning, everyone.
106
00:04:30,679 --> 00:04:33,013
Lois, can I see you in the
other room for a second?
107
00:04:33,165 --> 00:04:35,065
- Sure.
- All right!
108
00:04:37,519 --> 00:04:40,170
Peter, what would
you like for breakfast?
109
00:04:40,188 --> 00:04:41,521
Chocolate chip pancakes.
110
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,574
Lois, can I see you in the
other room for a second?
111
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:49,513
So... Whew.
112
00:04:49,606 --> 00:04:50,956
Uh, what did you want?
113
00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:52,699
- Uh, wa-waffles?
- Yeah, sure.
114
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,585
Lois, can I see you in the
other room for a second?
115
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:01,091
I couldn't perform a
third time, so we just read.
116
00:05:07,123 --> 00:05:09,141
Morning, beautiful.
117
00:05:09,368 --> 00:05:11,125
I had the Uber
guy sleep outside,
118
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,020
so he's ready when you're ready.
119
00:05:19,394 --> 00:05:22,821
But first, a dump so
long I will be able to read
120
00:05:22,972 --> 00:05:25,449
everything Garfield ever wrote.
121
00:05:27,069 --> 00:05:29,494
Jon.
122
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:33,314
Morning, Captain Quagmire.
123
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,892
Hey, did you know if
this plane was a wiener,
124
00:05:35,985 --> 00:05:37,819
we'd be the wiener's eyes?
125
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,041
Hello,
this is your captain speaking
126
00:05:40,065 --> 00:05:42,490
from the, uh, cockpit.
127
00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:43,991
Lot of penis
stuff from you today.
128
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,569
Quiet, you don't talk.
129
00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:48,013
Now please enjoy this
in-flight music I brought with me
130
00:05:48,164 --> 00:05:49,514
from my glove compartment.
131
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:51,706
♪ Ah, well, everybody's
heard about the bird ♪
132
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:54,519
♪ B-B-B-Bird, bird,
bird, b-bird's the word. ♪
133
00:06:05,757 --> 00:06:09,368
Guess I'll go for my walk
and leave Chi-Chi all alone!
134
00:06:15,934 --> 00:06:18,268
♪ If you go down
in the woods today ♪
135
00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:21,046
♪ You're sure of
a big surprise ♪
136
00:06:21,197 --> 00:06:23,382
♪ If you go down
in the woods today ♪
137
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:26,200
♪ You better go in disguise ♪
138
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,778
♪ For every bear
that ever there was ♪
139
00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:31,556
♪ Will gather there
for certain, because ♪
140
00:06:31,783 --> 00:06:36,645
♪ Today's the day the teddy
bears have their picnic. ♪
141
00:06:39,141 --> 00:06:41,441
Wow, how far is it from up here?
142
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:02,546
Goodnight Moon? Ugh,
God, Stewie's so basic.
143
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,471
Oh, my God, he did it.
144
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,340
Oh, no! I've been
out all morning
145
00:07:14,493 --> 00:07:16,751
with lots of witnesses,
and now this!
146
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,178
Chris! Help!
147
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,439
For God's sake, what now?
148
00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:24,000
So, I was out on my walk
with Jane, Ally P., and Ali R...
149
00:07:24,019 --> 00:07:26,169
Both got disastrous
haircuts yesterday,
150
00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:27,649
obviously that
stays in this room...
151
00:07:27,673 --> 00:07:29,593
And I just came in and
found Chi-Chi like this!
152
00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:31,766
Stewie, do you
know what day it is?
153
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,101
It's the next Wednesday.
154
00:07:34,196 --> 00:07:37,180
I believe you're aware of
my Wednesday schedule.
155
00:07:37,199 --> 00:07:38,957
First period, independent study.
156
00:07:39,108 --> 00:07:40,942
Oh, so you are.
157
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,961
And do you remember
what I like to do
158
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:45,538
during first period,
independent study?
159
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,114
- Sleep.
- Sleep!
160
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,967
Oh, you're a quick study.
161
00:07:51,530 --> 00:07:53,805
Chris, your alarm is going off!
162
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:56,808
I know!
163
00:08:09,548 --> 00:08:12,065
All right, time to murder
Miss Tiggywinkles.
164
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:15,142
Oh, never been
invited to Doug's before.
165
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,478
Whoa! Chalkboard wall? No way!
166
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:20,499
The only limitation
is my imagination.
167
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,507
So fun!
168
00:08:29,918 --> 00:08:32,046
Stay right here,
Miss Tiggywinkles.
169
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,970
Dougie will be
home soon to play.
170
00:08:52,257 --> 00:08:53,590
Beat it, you don't want to see
171
00:08:53,608 --> 00:08:55,700
what I'm about to do
to Miss Tiggywinkles!
172
00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,629
Get away from me n...
173
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,791
Oh, my God!
174
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,127
I can't read!
175
00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:18,265
Here you go, Miss Tiggywinkles.
176
00:09:20,452 --> 00:09:22,543
Miss Tiggywinkles is a real cat!
177
00:09:24,047 --> 00:09:26,356
You know what? I can do this.
178
00:09:42,657 --> 00:09:44,140
I can't do it!
179
00:09:44,233 --> 00:09:46,142
I can't kill a cat!
180
00:09:46,161 --> 00:09:49,646
Unless you were in the movie
musical with Rebel Wilson?
181
00:09:49,664 --> 00:09:51,673
I can't do it!
182
00:09:54,577 --> 00:09:56,911
We now return to Baywatch.
183
00:09:57,038 --> 00:09:58,321
All right!
184
00:09:58,340 --> 00:09:59,823
There he is,
185
00:09:59,841 --> 00:10:02,122
the reason our lawn looks
like it has leopard skin pants.
186
00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:03,584
What's up with you lately?
187
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,230
You've been acting really
weird all of the sudden.
188
00:10:05,254 --> 00:10:07,330
"All of the sudden," Brian?
189
00:10:07,349 --> 00:10:09,608
I think what you mean
is "all of a sudden."
190
00:10:09,835 --> 00:10:12,502
Ladies and gentlemen,
that's the author in the house.
191
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,907
What's your problem? Why
are you being such a jerk to me?
192
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,097
My problem with you?
193
00:10:16,191 --> 00:10:17,311
Let's see, where do I begin?
194
00:10:17,342 --> 00:10:19,676
You accept food,
clothing and shelter,
195
00:10:19,694 --> 00:10:21,119
yet no responsibilities.
196
00:10:21,270 --> 00:10:23,437
You constantly want
to sleep with my wife,
197
00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:24,848
who is an angel.
198
00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:26,458
Oh, and the hypocrisy.
199
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:28,369
You claim to be
an ally to women,
200
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,037
but I bet you don't even know
Nancy Pelosi's official title.
201
00:10:31,189 --> 00:10:33,131
Sure, I do. She's, uh...
202
00:10:33,282 --> 00:10:35,282
Chuck Schumer's secretary.
203
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,285
Forget it, Brian. Now, can you
strap me to this milking table?
204
00:10:38,380 --> 00:10:40,722
My wife will be home soon.
205
00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:46,219
Stewie Griffin,
206
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,462
do you want to tell me
why you didn't hold up
207
00:10:48,556 --> 00:10:51,040
your end of the bargain
with Miss Tiggywinkles?
208
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:52,876
Seriously? Maybe
because you failed
209
00:10:52,894 --> 00:10:54,986
to mention she
was a real, living cat.
210
00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:56,804
Hey, I killed your monkey!
211
00:10:56,898 --> 00:10:58,472
Don't you see
how that's different?
212
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,808
We had a deal.
213
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,387
- No, I know.
- But I just...
214
00:11:02,478 --> 00:11:03,714
I d... I don't...
I don't think...
215
00:11:03,738 --> 00:11:06,313
Boy, this is really gonna
hurt your reputation
216
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,833
with my kindergarten friends.
217
00:11:08,985 --> 00:11:10,669
You have kindergarten friends?
218
00:11:10,854 --> 00:11:11,981
Oh, yeah.
219
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,580
I let them throw pinecones
at me all the time.
220
00:11:14,675 --> 00:11:18,009
But now I'm gonna have to
tell them you welshed on me.
221
00:11:18,236 --> 00:11:21,513
Kindergartners hate welshers.
222
00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,181
Kindergartners, eh?
223
00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:25,091
You know what? I'll do it.
224
00:11:25,243 --> 00:11:26,243
Good choice, Stewie.
225
00:11:26,335 --> 00:11:28,411
Hey, m-maybe
after all this is done,
226
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:31,022
I-I could get kindergartners
throwing pinecones at me?
227
00:11:31,249 --> 00:11:33,174
Whoa, slow down, champ.
228
00:11:33,268 --> 00:11:35,652
They start you at
driveway pebbles.
229
00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:42,683
Ah, Brian, just the man
I was hoping to see.
230
00:11:42,777 --> 00:11:44,202
You don't like cats, do you?
231
00:11:44,353 --> 00:11:46,079
- I hate 'em.
- Sit.
232
00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:50,357
Three of Lois'
sweaty jogging bras.
233
00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:52,769
Have I really been
that good of a boy?
234
00:11:52,787 --> 00:11:54,454
Depends. I got a cat problem.
235
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,363
You get rid of my
cat, this is all yours.
236
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,608
- Done.
- Go ahead, boy.
237
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,887
Oh, yeah!
238
00:12:03,114 --> 00:12:05,724
She ran fast because
Bonnie was watching.
239
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,105
- What happened to you?
- I'm not really sure.
240
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:14,640
I was in line at the bank,
and this human-sized chicken
241
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:15,959
cut in front of me.
242
00:12:16,052 --> 00:12:17,627
Well, I wasn't
gonna let that stand.
243
00:12:17,645 --> 00:12:18,795
I had a weird day, too.
244
00:12:18,813 --> 00:12:20,146
I asked, like, seven people
245
00:12:20,298 --> 00:12:22,258
if they were gonna
watch the SpaceX launch.
246
00:12:22,391 --> 00:12:24,036
And I-I don't even
know what that is.
247
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,152
Hey, you two are both
acting very strange,
248
00:12:26,304 --> 00:12:28,062
and I think I know what it is.
249
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,990
He's wearing your underwear,
and you're wearing his.
250
00:12:31,142 --> 00:12:32,158
How do you know that?
251
00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,070
Well, you know, when
some people go blind
252
00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:35,645
their other senses
are heightened.
253
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:38,739
When I lost my legs, I
gained a sense of underpants.
254
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:41,259
What are you talking about?
We didn't switch underwear.
255
00:12:41,410 --> 00:12:42,980
Are you sure about
that? Stand up
256
00:12:43,004 --> 00:12:44,988
and let Jojo flip your taggies.
257
00:12:45,006 --> 00:12:47,223
Turn around. Butt-to-butt.
258
00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:51,327
Hanes.
259
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:52,920
Planes.
260
00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:56,090
Whoo!
261
00:12:56,184 --> 00:12:57,350
What the hell?
262
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,904
We must've accidentally
grabbed the wrong ones
263
00:12:58,928 --> 00:12:59,927
at the laundromat.
264
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,447
Oh, so your boys were
265
00:13:02,674 --> 00:13:03,931
where his boys were.
266
00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:06,493
And your boys were
where his boys were.
267
00:13:07,529 --> 00:13:10,179
Oh, my God!
268
00:13:10,198 --> 00:13:11,842
Hey, what are you
guys talking about?
269
00:13:11,866 --> 00:13:13,792
Peter and Quagmire
exchanged underwear.
270
00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:15,351
Ha! Classic!
271
00:13:15,444 --> 00:13:17,111
Me, I don't wear underwear.
272
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,280
I just wear trunks.
273
00:13:19,374 --> 00:13:20,523
Tree guy.
274
00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:22,376
That'll hit you when
you're driving home.
275
00:13:23,194 --> 00:13:25,434
Hey, look at this table. What
are you guys talking about?
276
00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:35,555
Oh, hey, I-I, uh...
277
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,816
I didn't... I didn't know
you take out trash, too.
278
00:13:37,967 --> 00:13:40,634
Yeah, I-I, uh...
Only on trash days.
279
00:13:40,728 --> 00:13:42,808
No, right, of course.
Yeah, no, no, I'm sorry. I-I...
280
00:13:44,473 --> 00:13:45,806
I'm not sure what to say.
281
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,325
I know. It's awkward.
282
00:13:47,552 --> 00:13:49,385
I thought things would
go back to normal
283
00:13:49,404 --> 00:13:51,404
after we traded
underwear yesterday.
284
00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:09,739
I'm gonna have Lois
cancel our dinner plans
285
00:14:09,757 --> 00:14:10,998
with you and Ida tomorrow.
286
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,517
I-I think it's too soon.
287
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,068
Hey, you don't think the guys
are talking about us, do you?
288
00:14:15,171 --> 00:14:16,579
Oh, I don't think so.
289
00:14:16,598 --> 00:14:18,005
Oh, my God.
290
00:14:18,099 --> 00:14:19,985
I still can't believe they
wore each other's underwear.
291
00:14:20,009 --> 00:14:21,751
Like, can you imagine?
292
00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:22,861
I know, right?
293
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:24,678
Like, icky times a thousand.
294
00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:26,089
Hey, this is crazy,
295
00:14:26,107 --> 00:14:29,016
but what if we wore
each other's underwear,
296
00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,550
- just for a joke?
- What?
297
00:14:30,686 --> 00:14:32,111
No, that's a terrible idea.
298
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,779
Yeah, just-just joking.
299
00:14:33,932 --> 00:14:35,448
So stupid!
300
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,417
Can I be done now?
301
00:14:43,532 --> 00:14:45,791
Okay, you go in
there, kill Miss T,
302
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,110
and we'll sneak out the back.
303
00:14:47,128 --> 00:14:48,369
You need a weapon or anything?
304
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,139
She's a cat, I'm
a dog. I'm good.
305
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:08,031
It went poorly.
306
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:14,412
Thanks again for
having us over, Lois.
307
00:15:14,639 --> 00:15:17,140
Zesty Italian?
Oh, I-I just couldn't.
308
00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:18,824
Not this close to bedtime.
309
00:15:18,977 --> 00:15:20,638
You said you
were gonna cancel dinner.
310
00:15:20,662 --> 00:15:23,296
I have zero
control in my marriage.
311
00:15:26,317 --> 00:15:27,904
Whoops.
I dropped my roll,
312
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:29,572
which is not at all
an invitation for Peter
313
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,554
to have an
under-the-table conference.
314
00:15:40,498 --> 00:15:42,941
Ha! Darn thing's
always coming off.
315
00:15:43,168 --> 00:15:45,008
Excuse me for one
moment, won't you?
316
00:15:47,596 --> 00:15:49,596
- Why did you do that?
- You dropped all the bread.
317
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,008
- What was I supposed to do?
- Okay, that makes sense.
318
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,935
So, I went to the
underwear doctor and...
319
00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:56,437
you should probably get checked.
320
00:15:56,531 --> 00:15:58,250
They say when you wear
someone's underwear,
321
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,751
you're also wearing
the underwear
322
00:15:59,775 --> 00:16:01,662
of everyone whose
underwear they've worn.
323
00:16:01,686 --> 00:16:02,961
I can't believe this!
324
00:16:03,112 --> 00:16:05,546
I thought I knew
you, Glenn Quagmire!
325
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:11,452
Here I go
again, filling up on ears.
326
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,862
What's going on here, you two?
327
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,213
You're being very rude.
328
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,957
Lois spent all day
overcooking this meal.
329
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,686
We accidentally wore
each other's underwear.
330
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,708
I can't believe you
wore each other's undies!
331
00:16:25,727 --> 00:16:28,319
This is hysterical!
332
00:16:28,546 --> 00:16:30,040
Shut! Up!
333
00:16:30,064 --> 00:16:31,897
Oh, it's not even Wednesday!
334
00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,491
It's Tuesday night!
335
00:16:33,642 --> 00:16:34,900
That's part of it!
336
00:16:35,053 --> 00:16:36,327
Guys, this isn't funny!
337
00:16:36,554 --> 00:16:38,830
Relax, Peter. It's no big deal.
338
00:16:39,057 --> 00:16:40,072
You don't get it!
339
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,907
Oh, quit being so dramatic.
340
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,076
Ladies switch
underwear all the time.
341
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,652
I might be wearing
Bonnie's right now.
342
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:46,987
I don't even remember.
343
00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:49,823
While that is super sexy
and being stored for later,
344
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,342
it's very different for guys.
345
00:16:51,569 --> 00:16:53,327
That's not true,
male friends can be
346
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,639
more intimate than they used to.
347
00:16:54,663 --> 00:16:56,497
- Nope!
- And the lines of sexuality are
348
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,976
- more fluid than ever.
- Nope!
349
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,737
And people aren't so
quick to judge or label.
350
00:16:59,761 --> 00:17:03,262
- Please stop.
- Masculinity just doesn't account for stuff like this.
351
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,598
Look, guys can share
laughs and beers,
352
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,675
but we don't share feelings,
emotions, or underwear.
353
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:11,420
Between male friends, there's
no coming back from this.
354
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:14,848
He's right. I'm afraid our
relationship is on the skids.
355
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,387
Maybe there's
hope for the future,
356
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:17,777
but things now are too spotty.
357
00:17:17,929 --> 00:17:19,686
I just don't know if there's
any front-to-back to this.
358
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,522
Our reputations are smeared.
359
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,524
If I wasn't so yellow,
maybe I'd push harder.
360
00:17:23,618 --> 00:17:27,128
But, hey, we had a
really good streak, huh?
361
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,552
What's going on out there, Dad?
362
00:17:34,703 --> 00:17:36,703
We accidentally wore
each other's underwear,
363
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,297
so Mr. Quagmire is moving.
364
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,540
Oh, wow.
365
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,893
Yeah, obviously one
of you would need to.
366
00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:44,062
Peter, this is
completely ridiculous.
367
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:46,289
Babe. What's done is done.
368
00:17:46,307 --> 00:17:48,027
Look, I don't have
a lot of friends,
369
00:17:48,126 --> 00:17:50,126
it's kind of a
problem on the show.
370
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:53,296
But if I did, I would never let
anything come between us,
371
00:17:53,314 --> 00:17:55,656
especially a pair of underwear.
372
00:17:58,394 --> 00:18:00,970
You know what,
Lois? You're right.
373
00:18:00,988 --> 00:18:03,164
Now go tell him not to move.
374
00:18:42,479 --> 00:18:43,955
Quagmire,
375
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:46,349
I just want to say that you can
wreck a good pair of underwear,
376
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,609
but you can't wreck
a good friendship.
377
00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:50,110
That's nice, Peter.
378
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,090
Underwear should never
come between two friends.
379
00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:53,372
Well, it kind of should.
380
00:18:53,524 --> 00:18:55,444
Yeah, yeah.
It kind of should, yeah.
381
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,338
Will you help me move
my stuff back inside?
382
00:18:57,362 --> 00:18:58,986
Only if I can do it half naked
383
00:18:58,988 --> 00:19:00,341
and in front of
all our neighbors.
384
00:19:00,365 --> 00:19:02,390
Not my first choice, but okay.
385
00:19:24,889 --> 00:19:26,572
Miss Tiggywinkles, wake up!
386
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:27,999
You've got to get out of here!
387
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,171
Oh, my God, you're dead!
388
00:19:33,322 --> 00:19:36,248
Well, what do we have here?
389
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,918
Stewie Griffin, cat murderer?
390
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,753
What? You psycho!
391
00:19:40,905 --> 00:19:42,013
You killed her?
392
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:45,016
Maybe I did, maybe she
died of natural causes.
393
00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,367
The only thing that matters is
394
00:19:46,577 --> 00:19:49,145
that now I have
the goods on you.
395
00:19:50,932 --> 00:19:53,733
Oh, that's a terrible photo.
Would you mind doing it again?
396
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:02,533
Aw, yeah. That's cute.
397
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,360
- Can you send me that?
- No.
398
00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:06,037
Give me that picture!
399
00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,683
Hey, Doug. Sorry
about your kitty.
400
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,857
I guess the pet store didn't
have a men's department, huh?
401
00:20:10,952 --> 00:20:13,619
Uh, well, I tried to get a...
402
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,697
Hey, I don't want to be
too tired to drive home.
403
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:17,956
Does this story have an ending?
404
00:20:18,033 --> 00:20:19,608
Later, losers!
405
00:20:19,627 --> 00:20:21,034
I'm five!
406
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,113
- Who is that?
- That's Tyler.
407
00:20:24,131 --> 00:20:26,298
He's, uh, kind of my Doug.
408
00:20:26,451 --> 00:20:27,967
Boy, we all get a Doug, huh?
409
00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,469
Yeah, Tyler's Doug
is a drunk stepdad.
410
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,438
- Yikes.
- Yeah.
411
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:40,738
Well, I'm glad everyone's
back in their regular underwear
412
00:20:40,889 --> 00:20:42,489
and everything's back to normal.
413
00:20:42,558 --> 00:20:43,724
Me, too.
414
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,783
And thank you for
cleaning the milking table.
415
00:20:45,894 --> 00:20:47,694
Well, we had quite
a week as well.
416
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:48,821
We sure did.
417
00:20:48,973 --> 00:20:50,375
I mean, you got your
ass kicked by a cat.
418
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:53,251
- Well, it was really more of a draw.
- Yeah, whatever.
419
00:20:53,402 --> 00:20:55,736
Hey, you want to end the show
with a "To Be Continued" meme?"
420
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,291
I-I don't even know what that...
421
00:21:02,503 --> 00:21:04,470
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
www.opensubtitles.org
31005
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof