All language subtitles for Roc s02e05 Andrew Dates Matty.eng

You are the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen, honey.

Oh, hey. Hey, how you doin'?

Hi, I'm rocky carroll,
welcome to tonight's

live episode of "roc" and we're
very glad that you're with us.

But I hope it's not because you
were watching "in living color"

and just decided you
were lazy to find out

what else is on, see?

We want you to choose
us, so let me give you

the rest of your
viewing options.

And then you can decide, okay?

Cocky, am I?

No, I just know what else is on.

Alright.

On CBS we have
"murder she wrote"

which features "a murder at
a film festival in Milan, Italy."

Italy! Folks, this show
has been on so long

they ran out of
Americans to kill.

Let's see, nbc.

"Eye-witness video features

dangerous storms recorded
by a hurricane video."

Hmm. Mm-hmm, I get it.

It's sorta like a "candid
camera" for sadists, huh?

And abc, "america's
funniest people."

"Features a movie remake

called "the worminator."

No, i'm-I'm serious.
That's-that's what it says here.

Alright, folks. The way I
look at it, you got two options.

You can watch our show or
you can open a book and read.

Hey uh, before we go, one of our
staff members had a baby today.

So, uh, congratulations to you

and happy birthday
to my buddy Adam

from-from me and your
grandpa, and to all my family back

in Cincinnati,
Ohio, peace to you.

Uh.

[Scatting]

♪ Them that's got shall have

♪ them that's not shall lose

♪ so the Bible says

♪ and it still is news

♪ mama may have

♪ papa may have

♪ but god bless the
child that's got his own ♪

♪ that's got his own ♪
them that's got shall get

♪ them that's not shall lose

♪ them that's got shall get

♪ them that's not shall lose

[traffic bustling]

[Metal clanking]

[Muttering]

Hey, if it isn't the sexiest
nurse in Baltimore.

Yeah, yeah, right, roc, get this

piece of junk out
my living room.

Hey, this isn't junk,
this is a foosball table.

You know, miniature
soccer, I found it on my route.

Roc, honey, baby,
I love my work too.

But you don't see me
comin' home every night

from the hospital with
jell-o and bedpans.

Oh, don't worry, sweet heart.

I-I'll have Joey
fix it up and sell it.

Hey, hey, hey,
what's the matter?

It's all the politics about
this promotion that I'm up for.

You know, Cynthia and Jamie.

The other nurses that
I'm competing with.

Yeah, Cynthia, she's
the one who ate up

all the food at the
birthday party, huh?

Even had the nerve to
ask for a plate when she left.

Yeah, and Jamie is
the bony white one.

Yeah, well, Cynthia has
been telling all the doctors

that I disconnect my
patient's call buttons.

And Jamie, she's getting
it on with the chief surgeon.

I thought I could
get this promotion

the old fashion way and earn it.

Well, that's what Jamie's doing.

Only her way's even older.

Well, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Now, I-I thought Matty
decides who gets that promotion.

I mean she's the head nurse.

Yeah, but the doctors
have a lot of influence

and Matty and I... We aren't
exactly running buddies.

I mean, I wish there was a
way I could get closer to her.

But what do I have in common
with a 56-year-old woman?

Well, you both wear
those ugly white shoes.

- Daddy! Hey, daddy?
- Hmm?

You met Matty remember?

- At the hospital picnic.
- Oh, sure.

Very attractive woman.

Brought the potato salad.

Her potatoes were nice and firm.

I like that in a woman.

Well, you know, daddy, uh..

Matty is single and she
hasn't stopped asking

about you since
that hospital picnic.

Now, Eleanor, don't...

And, daddy, I was
just wondering.

You know, maybe you
invited her out to dinner

you two might
really hit it off and..

Then you can you can
slide in a good word.

Now wait, now wait baby, I
want you to get this promotion, too

but using pop to get in
good with Matty is just as bad

as what Cynthia
and Jamie are doing.

Is your name "daddy?"

Oh, come on,
Eleanor, this isn't you.

Right, roc, this isn't me.

I'm always the nice person
who gets passed over.

Do you know what Cynthia
calls me at the hospital?

Nurse goody two shoes.

Well, nurse goody two shoes
is tired of being passed over

and is gonna learn to be just
as ruthless as everyone else.

Oh, relax, Eleanor,
promotion or no promotion

I'd enjoy spending
some time with Matty.

Oh, thank you, daddy.

And I'll see what I
can do to talk you up.

But if 300 years of American
history has any indication

that promotion is going
to the little white tramp.

[Scatting]

You ought to quit now, roc, to
save yourself some embarassm...

Oh, go ahead and shut
up. You come on, come on..

- See that?
- Yeah.

You're too old and
you're too slow.

Alright, that's it. Say
your prayers, punk.

[Chuckling] Wait a
minute. Hold-hold on,

I gotta get that. I gotta
get that. Wait a minute.

- Right there.
- Score.

Hey, no, no, no, come on.
Th-th-that-that don't count man.

Uh... i don't recall
anybody saying "time-out."

[Grunting]

- Alright, come on in, Troy.
- 'Hey, Troy!'

what's up?

I'm here for your
foosball table.

Oh, no, no, no, we-we've
been having such a blast.

I hate to give this thing up
now, you know, Joey and I

used to play this for
hours when we were kids.

Yeah, brings back a
whole lot of memories, Joey.

Well, now, you're not gonna
share it with me, are you?

Oh. Yeah, that's real cute,
look, why don't you get away

and come back for
the table later, okay?

Oh, I understand, you got
your hands on a $100 table

and you just don't
wanna give it up.

- A hundred bucks?
- That's right.

Alright, score. I win,
alright, take it out

- wait, I wasn't even ready.
- Come on.

Take it out, now you sure I can

get a 100 bucks for this thing?

- Fifty if we're lucky.
- Why did you say a 100?

'Cause I didn't think
you'd stop playing for $50.

Oh, man, I was really
getting into that game, boy.

Yeah, I'm gonna miss
playing that game.

Yeah, what would we
ever do without foosball.

Our national pass time.

- Hey, pop.
- Hey, pop.

Hey, daddy. Where's Matty?

Oh, she just dropped
me off on her way to work.

And?

- How was the date?
- Horrible.

That's the last time I'd go
out with somebody based on

three minutes of conversation
and a scoop of potato salad.

Oh-h-h-h-h, daddy.
What happened?

Nothing, I had a bad date.

Haven't you ever had a bad date?

No, but I've heard of 'em.

So, uh, did you get a
chance to talk Eleanor up?

- 'Yeah, did you?'
- Yes, she liked her?

But she won't make a
decision for six months.

- 'Oh!'
- now, anything else?

Well, daddy, I'm sorry
that the date didn't work out

but I really do appreciate
you trying, thank you.

Well, you don't
have to thank me.

But if she calls, you
tell her I was... Drafted.

- Oh.
- I'm going to bed.

Oh-ho, well, I guess I'm
just gonna have to get that

promotion by being
a good, good nurse.

Unless I can come
up with a better way.

I'm off to the snake
pit, baby, bye-bye.

- Go get 'em, sweetheart.
- I will.

And you know, um...
You know I'd promote you.

I know you would.

I'd promote you
anytime you want.

I got some medicine
for you too, baby.

- Come home and wait till...
- You're big fine handsome..

Well, I guess I better go
too, the foosball table is gone

and I really don't enjoy
your company that much.

Hey, well, Joey, before
you go, I just wanna say

you know, I didn't mean
to whip your butt, you know

but just my skill overcame
me and I couldn't help myself.

You still can't get
over it, can you, roc?

- Even after all these years?
- What're you talking about?

I'm talking about the fact
that I, little Joey Emerson

am the Muhammad Ali of
this family, I am the greatest.

Oh, man, give me a break,
you're not the greatest.

I held that title
in '70, '71 and '72.

- Only time you had it was...
- '73, the last time we played.

- So I still hold the crown.
- Oh, man. You're crazy, man.

Oh, you may address me
as the greatest Joe Frazier.

No, you ain't Joe Frazier,
wait a minute, hold it. Alright.

That's it, i'MMA settle
this once-once and for all.

I'm gonna prove that I
have more physical ability

more finesse and
heart than you ever did.

Alright, as Mike Tyson would
say, "we'll see about that."

- Come on.
- Alright, what is this?

Event number one, the hand slap.

Alright, alright,
alright. I'm waiting.

- You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

You sure you ready?

- How come you get to go first?
- Because I'm the greatest.

How about that?

[Indistinct announcement on pa]

Yeah, I'm tired too, Dr. Wilson.

You were incredible last night.

[Laughing]

Don't worry, it'll come
out with club soda.

So have you talked
to Matty about me yet?

No, no rush.

Okay, bye.

Think about me in surgery.

[Clearing throat]

How long have you
been standing there?

Long enough to know that you
are a conniving back-stabbing slut.

Hey, girls! How's it going?

I don't know what you're
getting on my case for?

She set up her
father-in-law with Matty.

Well, I guess, I'm going
after this promotion all wrong.

Who can I sleep
with to get ahead?

That depends on
how much anesthesia

you can get a hold of.

Oh, will you two take it easy!

The thing with my father-in-law
didn't even work out.

Oh, did things go badly
for nurse goody two shoes?

That's head nurse
goody two shoes to you.

- Hi, Eleanor.
- Hi, Matty.

I wanna thank you for setting
me up with your father-in-law.

He is the most charming
man I've met in a long time.

Oh, Matty, I'm so happy for you.

Uh-huh, and when
you get tired of him

I want you to meet my uncle.

You know, most men just
wanna talk about themselves.

But Andrew is
such a great listener.

I can't wait for our next date.

- Next date?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, oh, I'm glad
you had a good time.

And, uh, just
between you and me.

Girl, he is the best lover I've
had since my husband died.

Ooh, honey.

Alright, alright,
no, no, alright.

This is the undisputed
pound for pound

greatest event number five.

- Uh-huh. Yeah? What's it?
- The arm punch.

Yeah, yeah. We keep trading
punches till somebody gives in.

Alright, alright,
take your best shot.

Alright, get ready... Get ready
to get feel the mighty python.

Alright, come on
with it. Come on.

[Grunting]

That didn't hurt.

You just, uh, making that face
because you're constipating?

I-I, no, I admit it-it burns a
little bit you know what I mean.

But that's nothing compared
to what I'm about to give you.

- Okay, I give. You win.
- No, no, come on, man.

[Indistinct yelling]

- You can't do that. Alright.
- Hey, you win.

As the winner, I get to
pick the next event, right?

- Alright, right.
- Alright, wrestling.

Huh? Oh-oh, no, roc.
Man, I don't wanna hurt you.

Wha-what's the
matter? You scared?

I, n-no, I ain't scared.
The greatest knows no fear.

Well, come on with it,
come on, move that..

Just move it, come on...

- I'll run you all up and down.
- Come on.

[Grunting]

- Wait, wait a minute.
- Ah!

Alright, now who's the greatest?

- I'm the greatest.
- Stop lying, wh-who?

- Eleanor.
- Ah..

[Groaning]

Okay.

- I'm still the greatest.
- Yeah?

[Doorbell ringing]

I'll get it.

[Gasping]

- You guys need a hobby.
- Yeah.

- Hey.
- Staple it, slim.

I don't want the info taking
up the space in my head.

'Cause that's where
I do my thinking.

- Here.
- Okay.

I sold that foosball table.

Alright. Look, you
wanna come in?

Joey will be unconscious
in a few moments.

No, thanks. I'm a
lover, not a fighter.

- Hey, wait a minute. Wait.
- Oh, yeah.

So. Ah! So, roc.

I guess you think you
got the upper hand, huh?

- Yeah, yeah, well.
- Yeah I think you do too.

[Roc] 'Let me tell
you something..'

where's your father?

- He's in the kitchen.
- Thank you, Joey.

[Joey] 'Hey, wait a minute.'

- daddy.
- Oh, Eleanor, you see this.

Miss Florida won the miss
america pageant last night.

Did you know that they
spread glue on their bottoms

to keep their bathing
suits from riding up?

Daddy, that is very interesting

but we gotta talk
about something else.

Now if you knew that you aren't
going to be seeing Matty again

daddy, you shouldn't
have slept with her.

So, she told you, did she?

Daddy, what you thought
was a harmless fling

to Matty, was very special.

I'd rather not talk
to you about this.

Well, you better talk to
me about this because

I'm in the middle
of this, damn it.

I can't believe I
got myself into this.

I can't believe I
got Matty into this.

Eleanor, please.
Let's just drop it.

Daddy, you lied to me.

What's all that
stuff you said about

the date being so horrible?

I didn't wanna tell you
what really happened, alright.

What?

How I was sitting at the
dinner table with Matty

and I was seeing Loretta.

The way Matty tilted her
head, the way she laughed..

It was like my
wife was still alive.

Next thing I know, we wind
up at Matty place making love.

But she wasn't Loretta.

And I may have
just been using her.

So, how can I ever look
her in the eye again?

Daddy, you can't leave
her hanging like this?

What am I supposed
to do? Tell her the truth?

She'll hate me.

Well, that may be so, but you're
gonna have to deal with her.

Because while you were
making love with Loretta

Matty was making love to you.

Tsk.

She's gonna be so disappointed.

Lord, why was I cursed with
these rugged good looks?

♪ Whoa oh-whoa

oh, man!

Man, I'm too old for this, man.

I know.

Whoever said that sex
was the best form of exercise

they didn't play basketball.

You know, this can't
be good for our health.

When'd you figured that out?

During the rock fight.

Look, you know, we gotta
find a tie-breaker, man

and end this damn
greatest thing, you know.

Yeah, I know.

Why are we doing this
to ourselves anyway?

Man, we've been like this
since we were kids, you know.

We get into this competitive
thing and we can't stop.

It's like a habit, you know.

How did it start?

Well, we would.. We
had to do something.

[Panting] We were
too young to smoke.

You know, it wasn't, it
wasn't like I even cared about..

You know, beating you back then.

I mean, I was six
years older. It was easy.

Oh, come on, roc. You're
always trying to show me up.

No, I think I was always
trying to show you how.

You just wouldn't listen.

Remember that time I first
taught you to shoot hoops.

Yeah, I remember
what you told me.

You said, "line up
the ball with you body.

"Guide the ball
with you left hand.

Shoot the ball with
your right hand ."

Yeah, but see, but
see, you always wanted

to shoot it like this
here, you know.

'Cause it looked
all cool, you know.

So I had to beat you just
to-just to show you a lesson.

Wait a minute, roc,
I still shoot like that

and I just whooped you, so
what kinda lesson was that?

Well, I ain't
worked that out yet.

See, it's not a matter of right
or wrong, roc. It's what works.

I've been trying to
show you that all my life

in everything from-from
basketball to monopoly.

Yeah, I know it. Wh-what?
Wait a minute. Hold-hold on.

You ain't never
beat me at monopoly.

Oh, I sure did. I
beat you all the time.

No, I whooped you down,
and I can still whoop you, Joey.

Well, kitty's got a
game right in the closet.

- We can go find out now.
- Alright, fine.

- I'm the race car -
no. I'm the race car.

- I'm the race car!
- I'm the race car.

[Doorbell ringing]

Coming.

Matty, I can't be what
you want me to be. No, no.

Matty, I can't love someone
else until I can love myself.

Oh, to heck with
it. Matty get lost.

[Doorbell ringing]

- Hello, Andrew.
- Oh, Matty.

- Good to see you.
- You too.

Uh.. Can I get you
something to drink?

Well, Andrew, you
know I don't drink.

Ah, you might need it for later.

You know, I'm really glad
that you called, I was, uh..

I was hoping you would.

Matty, I think we
need to talk about

what happened the other night.

Oh, I know. Isn't it amazing
how we just clicked?

How many things
we have in common?

I'm a widow, you're a widower.

Oh, dead spouses.

What a depressing thing to
base a relig-relationship on.

Oh, anyway, we're
getting off the subject.

I'd like to talk about you.

I talked enough about
me on our last date.

Tell me about you.

Alright.

I-I'm a loner.

Uh, not much of a talker. Moody.
Withdrawn. Uh, bad temper.

Quit kidding, Andrew.
You're not like that at all.

Oh, Matty, please. Look. I
have something to say, uh..

I-I don't think we should
see each other anymore.

I see. Um.. May I ask why?

Doesn't matter why.

I mean if I told you, you'll
just get upset and leave me

so let's just assume
I did and you did

and I feel rejected.

Andrew, I deserve an answer.

Alright, uh.. In short..

I went out with you to help
Eleanor get the promotion.

- Is that so?
- Oh, wait.

It gets worse.

I only slept with you because
you reminded me of my late wife.

Now, I know it was
wrong and I'm sorry.

Would you like to cry now?

You have got some nerve.

Well, don't flatter yourself
mister, because if you think

I'm gonna fall all to pieces
because I cannot live without

the likes of you,
think again, boyfriend.

Well, what are you
yelling at me for?

I was just trying to be honest.

Well, next time,
lie, you old goat.

Who're you calling old goat?

You, you old buzzard.

You got some mouth
on you, woman.

At least when I dump somebody,
I don't beat around the bush

like you do, I just do it.

Hey, weren't you listening?

I didn't wanna dump you, I just
figured you wanted to dump me.

Are you saying you
still wanna see me?

Yeah, you got a
problem with that?

[Both laughing]

[Laughs] Oh, Matty..

Look, can we start over?

Let's forget the other night
and say this is our first date.

Yeah, but what if I don't
want to forget the other night?

That's even better.

So, would you like
to go see a movie?

- Sure.
- Good.

"For the love of Ivy"
is on channel five.

Yeah, well..

Eleanor told me you
Emerson men were cheap.

Huh.

Oh, this is the best part,
this is where Abbey Lincoln

quits working for
that white family

and goes off with
Sidney poitier.

[Chuckling] Yeah, and she doesn't
even give them two weeks' notice.

Now, that's my kind of movie.

[Both laughing]

[Scatting]

[Male narrator] "Roc"
will be right back.

[Audience applauding]

Yeah, well, I've certainly
learned my lesson.

When you try to get
ahead by treating people

like chess pieces, you're
just asking for trouble.

Yeah, I know, Eleanor,
you did a horrible thing

you're never gonna do it
again, okay? So get off it, okay?

Oh... i know you're tired
of hearing it, it's just that

I don't wanna make
the same mistake twice.

You know if I'm nurse
goody goody two shoes

then that's who i'm.

Next time, you hear me putting
winnings above people feelings..

I want you to just... Slap me.

[Chuckling] Oh, baby, you
know, I could never slap you.

I love you, sweetheart.
Hey, wa-wait a minute.

How much money have you
been taking for pass and go?

As much as I can get.

Alright, well, now that you've
been giving yourself a raise..

Why won't you let me,
give you that promotion?

Yeah? Oh, yeah?

[Smooching]

Ooh, I kinda like it at the top.

[Laughing]

[Scatting]

♪ Keep on walking on

♪ oh lord

♪ oh yeah yeah yeah

♪ yeah yeah

♪ oh lord

[scatting]

♪ Whoa-oo-whoa

♪ keep on walking on

♪ whoa yeah

♪ yeah

[crackling]

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