All language subtitles for Girls.S06E07.BDRip.x264-DEMAND

Why is your ex trending so hard on Twitter?

'Cause Dill's the worst.

Elijah, please don't make me
click on a hashtag.

Fine.

He wants to adopt,
but he only wants a white baby.

And he got caught trying to buy one
on the black market.

Ew!

Now I finally get
why you dumped that sexy creep.

Yeah.

That's why I straight up ghosted his ass.

Hey... Um...

Would you...

Oh, you'd look so pretty in this.

Would you cover my shift tomorrow?

You're never busy in advance,
just sick from your drugs.

What you got?

There's an open call.

Since when are you auditioning?

I thought you were scared
you'd get too famous.

Well, to be honest, after college,
I auditioned a bunch.

I just wasn't booking anything.

I remember I went on this audition
for a commercial for Papa John's.

I had to say, "They stuffed it!"

It was for the stuffed crust pizza.

And after I left the room,
I heard the casting directors laughing at me.

I waited around all day to say,
"They stuffed it."

And I just got laughed at.

It was humiliating.

Dude, that's being an actor.

Ninety percent of my auditions go that way.

What's the one tomorrow for?

It's for a workshop of a new musical,
White Men Can't Jump.

- Holy shit, they made that into a musical?
- Yeah.

You're perfect for that.

- You think so?
- Of course. You're the whitest guy I know.

Thank you.

Hi. I'm Elijah Krantz.

- Hi, Elijah Krantz.
- No, don't talk.

It's not a fucking AA meeting, okay?
They don't talk.

- I just talk.
- Got it.

Hi, I'm Elijah Krantz.

Well, I believe in the soul,

the cock, the pussy,

the small of a woman's back,
the hanging curveball,

high fiber, good scotch,

that the novels of Susan Sontag
are self-indulgent, overrated crap...

Hannah, why are you looking at your phone?

I'm so sorry. By the way, that was amazing.

- You wrote that, right?
- Yeah, basically.

I googled it.

What the fuck, Hannah?

I'm sorry, it's just...
I'm waiting for Paul-Louis to call me back.

It's really stressful. What if he wants to, like,
move in with us or something?

Do not let another
homeless woman in here, please.

She was fun. You know it.

Yes?

- Can I come in?
- Yeah.

No. No. Why are you here?

Everywhere I go, there's paparazzi.
They won't leave me alone.

I just got in my car and I started driving.

And then my driver noted that we were
near your place and I took that as a sign.

I thought, this is probably
the only safe place for me right now.

Well, you've gotten yourself
into quite a predicament, Dillard.

Just making trouble.

Yeah. Look at you.

Look at your sad little outfit.

Look at your sad outfit.
What happened to us?

This is for an audition, okay?

I'm great.
Things are going great right now for me.

Why should I help you
with your white-baby-buying scandal, huh?

You're right.

I'm sorry, Elijah.

Break a leg.

I don't know.

Dill!

Dill.

- You can come in.
- Thank you.

And I'm just kidding.
You look adorable in your little gym outfit.

I'm a street baller.

Of course you are.

Please wait in the kitchen
while I speak to Hannah alone in the hall.

Fuck! My whole day is fucked right now.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?

I feel like I just
chugged a bunch of Robitussin or something.

Listen, calm down, okay? He's, like, nothing.

He doesn't have
any power over you.

He's not even super sexy right now.

- He's, like, sweaty...
- Just stop talking. Just do me a favor.

Write down everything he says.

Write down everything he says,
particularly if it's about me.

I have to go. I'm late.

I'm gonna have my eye on you,
even when it seems like I don't.

Just like the rest of the fucking Internet.

Do you have anything to eat that doesn't have
an activity center on the back?

What the fuck?

Hey, Marn. Why are you wet?

Because I went on a run.

Why don't you just take an Animal Flow class
at Equinox like a normal person?

Well, funny you should ask,
because I had to cancel

my Equinox membership
and my Cardio Box Flow membership

and my animal yoga membership
because I'm fucking broke.

And also, I'm fucking evicted,
so everything's great.

Marnie, are you seriously
calling to ask for money?

Mom, it's just a small loan,
just until I can get in touch with Desi

and figure out what the fuck is happening.

I'm sorry. I just can't give you
any more of my fun money.

I've already booked a trip
to Montego Bay and...

What?

It's in Jamaica, and Sharva goes every year.

Are you fucking serious, Mom? Okay, fine.
Just, like, enjoy yourself

and totally don't worry about your daughter,
who has nowhere to live.

Well, I have a perfectly good couch for you
to sleep on if you're really that hard up.

- Mom.
- And actually...

This would give us more time to rehearse
as the Michaels Sisters.

Oh, my God, we are not the Michaels Sisters.

You know what? You're basically forcing me
to sell my sweet 16 necklace.

How do you feel about that?
How does that sit with you, Mom?

Don't let divorce make you bitter.

Oh, God, those nails.

Hi, there.

Okay.

Elijah Krantz.

Yeah, I'm here.

We're ready for you.

Oh, no. I just got here.

Great. We'll hear your song now.

But... I'm sorry.
I thought the monologue was first.

It's not.

Can I have, like, 30 seconds
to go to the bathroom?

Not really.

It's an emergency.

Not a bad emergency. Just, like, a quick...
Just a pee.

Just a super quick... I can't.

Thank you.

White Men Can't Jump

Billy Hoyle
You'll never dunk

Sidney's foil is a geeky white chump

In the zone
And he's taking it to the hole

'Cause it's hard goddamn work

Being this good

Yes, it's hard goddamn work

Living in the hood

We in the hood now
It's all good now

'Cause we freaky
In the hood now

Clearly, you're here for the auditions.

- Fuck, yeah.
- Oh.

Good for you, honey.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.

Where are you going?
The auditions are upstairs.

- Yeah...
- I gotta go.

But you're in your little basketball outfit.

Yeah, I am. Uh...

Basically my ex showed up
at my place this morning

and has just destroyed this entire day for me.

Fuck that.
Men are only on this earth to buy us jeans.

I got to get out of here. I can't go in that room

and sing Santa Fe from Newsies right now.

Then don't sing Santa Fe from Newsies.

Sing some shit that's real to you right now.

- What's your name?
- Athena Dante.

- That is a great name.
- Yeah.

- What's yours?
- Elijah Krantz.

Enh... It's all right.

Well, it's been working for me
for 28, 25, 24 years.

- Hi.
- Hi.

So this is the most valuable thing I own.

But I'm selling it because my freedom

is more precious to me than a precious locket
from the 1870s.

So, here goes.

Wild Bill Hickok gave that
to my great-great-grandmother.

I come from a long line of women
who choose terrible men,

but that's ending now.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's plated pewter.

You can see where the plating
has chipped away.

Oh! No, no. It's actually gold-plated platinum.

Apparently, it used to be really common.

They'd put the more
valuable metal underneath.

So this platinum is so fine,

that they literally needed solid gold
just to protect it.

Uh... I'm certain that's not true.

It has a spring lobster clasp.

This is less than 20 years old.

So, what are you telling me?
That my mom lied to me?

Holy shit!

My mom lied to me when I was 16
and I still believe it.

She fucking lied to me.

I bet none of my ancestors
were ever even in the Wild West.

Half my fucking wedding theme is a lie.

Jesus Christ.

Fuck. Okay, I have to sell these, then.

My dad gave these to me
when I got into college.

My diamond! Fuck!

Glass.

Everyone in my family is fucking
lying garbage! Every single person!

No wonder I married someone
just as bad as they are,

because it's all I fucking know.

And now, I'm, like,
on the precipice of homelessness

and all I've ever done to anybody is love them.

All I've ever done is love somebody,
and now I'm fucking here.

What the fuck?
Did you just roll your eyes at me, sir?

I assure you, I did not.

Well, I may not know the difference
between gold and pewter

but I'm not a fucking moron.

You just rolled your eyes at me.

Listen, lady. Please?

I'm not leaving until you tell me why.

Why'd you do it?

It sounds to me like you're doing
a lot of blaming.

Your mother, your father, your husband.

But nobody ever walks in here
to sell things off their body

who has done nothing wrong.

You know who comes into pawn shops?

Junkies, thieves,
dentists who have lost their license

because of sexual abuse,

babysitters who have affairs with the men...

Jesus, dude. Stop. Stop.

- Stop. I get it.
- Do you?

Get it?

The liar is you.

He wants me
to go outside and play soccer with him.

Like, in the park. I hate it.

- Don't laugh, I hate it.
- Hi.

- I mean, the worst...
- Hello.

I'm Elijah Krantz.

Hi, Elijah Krantz.
Uh, what will you be singing?

Uh, I will be singing Let Me Be Your Star
from the hit show, Bombshell

from the hit TV show, Smash.

Okay. You can stay for the monologue.

- How far along are you?
- Excuse me?

I have 14 Emmys. I know when someone's
keeping a secret from me.

Don't worry. I don't want to buy your baby.

Good, 'cause I don't want
to sell my baby, so...

I'm only, like, three months.
I haven't even told the father yet.

You're afraid he won't support you.

No. I don't know if I want him to support me.

I don't even know
if I want him to be involved.

- I didn't want to make this phone call.
- Ooh.

Hannah.

I like to live a life of acceptance,
to flout tradition when I can,

but there's one thing I know.

Babies need fathers.

Mine left when I was three.
Just got up and followed the Maharishi.

It left me totally incapable
of accepting divine male love.

I'm broken.

You're broken and you
thought you would fix it

by buying a white baby?

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought.

I was gonna father that baby

because I couldn't father myself.

Okay, well, what about moms?

- Aren't moms important?
- For six months.

Listen, Hannah, you need
to think about the effect

that this could have on your child.

What they might miss.

They could find themselves alone, aging,

embroiled in a public scandal in Queens

in an ex-lover's squat house.

Okay, we're in Brooklyn right now
and this is an apartment.

It just sounds so much sadder
when you try to defend it.

He drank my fucking LaCroix.

You need to stop checking on your ex, man.

- He's gonna get to your head.
- He is in my head.

He drank all the LaCroix in my head.

Good dick is a prison.

All right, listen up, kids. I got a list.

- All right, Allen.
- Yes!

- Micucci.
- Ahh!

- Frances...
- Yes!

Dunnigan.

Eldridge, Kang,

Jared, Zinman,

Gillan, Villepique, McMillan.

Okay, so if she said your name,

you can go home. Thank you so much.

And the rest of you can head into the studio
for the dance portion.

- He flipped it!
- He fucking flipped it.

- I love that move. Classic.
- Yeah, A Chorus Line. Best show ever.

I love this bitchy business so much.

Well, that's easy.

Well, gotta take this call.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Paul-Louis.

Hey, Paul-Louis. This is Hannah.
We met a few months ago.

I was writing the article about the surf camp.

I threw up in your bed.

You said I had, like, a lot of pubic hair.

Oh, Hannah.

Hey, what's up, girl?

Hey, yeah, I just wanna preface this by saying
this is a real no-pressure sitch. Um...

You know, I'm just kind of doing
my moral and ethical duty

to keep you informed
and let you know that I'm pregnant.

From when we had sex.

So, from the sex we had, I got pregnant

and I'm gonna be having that child.

Whoa!

Uh... Whoa!

Okay, what do you need?

Uh, need? I don't need anything.

No, I know you're at the beginning
of, like, a very

exciting and illustrious water-skiing career,

and I'm not interested in creating
any problems for you.

Wha...

Wow, ooh.

Are you serious?

That's really kind of you.

That's so cool. Uh...

Because I'm not really ready to have a kid.
And I feel like a POS

telling you to get an abortion or whatever.
I mean, that's not my place.

That's not fair. I'm not...

Um... Well, thanks for telling me, I guess.

Yeah, everyone said it was, like, so important.
Now I feel like maybe it was a mistake.

Oh, no. No, no.
Hey, you know what?

I don't even believe in mistakes.

I really don't.

Uh...

Okay.

No, cool. Well, good luck.

Absolutely. I'll definitely keep you in the loop
if anything major goes on.

Or I don't have to.

It'll only be if that was something you wanted.

Cool. Cool.

Um, hey, you know a name I always thought
was cool for a boy was Grover.

Uh, okay. So, all right, I'll go now.
Unless you want to talk more.

I mean, I don't want to be a dick about it
if you wanted...

No, no. I got out everything I needed to say.
Thank you.

Well, be good, Hannah.

Sounds like he didn't have much to say.

Sounds like he dismissed you.

The way I dismissed Elijah.

No, it went perfectly.

He doesn't want a kid, so he's not gonna
bother me, so that's what I wanted.

I wanted it to be easy and it was easy,
so, I guess, it's just a little sad

how easy it was.

It's okay.

I guess, I just thought I could be this, like,
brave, cool, young mom

with, like, tattoos and, like, a whole, like,
you know, cool approach to things,

and now I'm just feeling...

What are you crying about?

It's just...

It's just the same shit.

You know, sweetie?

We're just...

We're just children. We're just...

We're just naked children.

Reviewing that part one last time.

It's window, front.

One and look, two, up, three and four,

five, double pirouette, then jump.

Great! Music.

And five, six, seven, eight!

- So good.
- Nice.

Really great stuff, guys.
Let's bring the basketballs in.

Sorry. Sorry.

Oh!

Yeah.

Why?

Sorry.

Hey...

Yeah, still counts.

Hold your nose up.

- Ugh. Man, you stunk up the joint.
- I know.

The last time I touched a basketball
was the sixth grade

where, then, I literally only touched it.

Then why the fuck you try out
for a basketball musical?

Because I thought the whole point was
white guys aren't good at basketball.

Hey, what you doing now?
You wanna go to Starbucks?

I get 30% off all snacks that aren't seasonal.

- Do you work at Starbucks?
- No.

I wish I was younger so we could hang out
and it's not weird,

but it feels weird. I'm sorry.

Plus, I have to go back to my apartment

and make sure my ex-boyfriend
didn't kill himself, so...

He's still at your house?

Yes, but only because he's hiding
from the Daily Mail or whatnot.

Bullshit.

Dudes can go anywhere.

There's nothing
but places to hide in this city.

He loves you.

- No, no, no.
- Yeah.

I'll see you at another audition, huh?
Or maybe at rehearsal.

- Yeah, okay.
- Hey.

I might get cast in this show.

I nailed the first two parts of that audition.

And then how hard can it be to...

To spin a fucking basketball
on your finger, right?

I can learn that. I could learn a new skill.

Reese Witherspoon learned how to sing
for Walk the Line,

and she won a goddamn Oscar.

I can do this.

Because you know why, Athena Dante?

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

I'm really, really fucking talented.

I'm as talented as you say you are.
That's how talented I am.

Exactly. That's how you gotta be, man.

It's never too late.

Fuck you. I'm not that old.

Too old to be going to open calls.

You little bitch.

You don't think it's gonna be so good,
the baby's talking,

- but it's just like...
- Kirstie...

Honey, how'd it go?

Dill got us eight pizzas.
The pepperoni's in the bathroom.

Why are you still here?

I'm here 'cause I have
something to say to you.

There's nothing like a public shaming
to make you realize what's really important.

I cast you aside
when all you wanted to do was love me.

It's funny, I thought I came here to hide out,

but I think for the first time in my life,
I'm ready to stop hiding.

- Elijah...
- Oh, okay. All right.

Dill, just save it for somebody who cares
about current events. Okay?

You came here to fuck with me.

That's why you came here,

to fuck with me the same way
that you fuck with everybody.

But guess what?
You can't fuck with me anymore, okay?

I'm unfuckable now.

So, yes, you might've thrown me a little bit
when you showed up

but not anymore.

'Cause I...
I took my ball, and I marched down that court,

and I fucking dunked it.

Those are sports terms

and I'm using them because
I am my own teammate now.

Me.

Bam!

So...

Good luck with your white baby.

Dill,
could you please bring a pizza in here?

Hey, Desi. It's Marnie. Um...

I just wanted to let you know

that I'm assuming responsibility
for my own life.

And don't worry about
sending me any money for rent

because I will be moving in with my mom.

Um...

You don't owe me anything.

And, um, I'm really sorry
that I thought you did.

Okay. Um...

I genuinely hope you're doing well.

Bye.

Fuck you, Mom.

- This is Elijah Krantz.
- Elijah, hi. Um...

- It's Tony and Patty.
- Patty and Tony.

From the soon-to-be-hit musical
White Men Can't Jump.

- Yeah?
- So, I'm just gonna cut right to the chase.

You cannot dance for shit.

- We don't give a fuck. No.
- No, I don't care.

I don't care.
You have an element, this essence,

and we really would like for you
to come in and read for our producers.

- Yeah. Read the scene. No balls.
- Just read the scene.

And the way you sang? Beautiful.

Just tell them you forgot your ball.

Absolutely no balls.
We'll see you soon.

All righty,
so Dr. Kruskal will see you in a few minutes.

Thank you.