All language subtitles for The Nanny S01 E16

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I am so sick of all this snow.

Mm.

There's a pigeon
frozen to the windowsill.

Oh, gee.

Look at this gorgeous
tanned family

relaxing on the beach.

Oh! Who is that
attractive brunette

in the background there?

Oh, gee, you know,
that must be the nanny.

No.

No, it couldn't be.
Her mouth's closed.

You know, actually,

this does look
very inviting.

Mm-hmm.

I suppose we
could
all do with a
break.

Hey, let's go
to the Cayman Club.

Oh, yeah.

They've got that
fabulous teen
program.

Oh... too bad
you're only
12.

Oh, yeah,
but you can be unpopular

with a whole new
bunch of kids.

Best of all,

they have a separate dining room
for children.

I don't care,
as long as I get some color.

Wait a minute.

Kids' programs,
separate dining rooms.

What kind of place
is this?

It sounds like you guys
would never see each other.

Well, yeah.

That's kind of the point.

It's a vacation.

A family vacation
you spend with your family.

We spent every summer
together in Miami.

How could you go to Miami
in the summer?

Easy, drive south
and hang a left at
hell.

Wasn't it hot
and humid and gross?

Yeah, but it was
off-season rates,

so we got to stay twice as long.

Plus, the Fountainbleu

had this fabulous
seafood extravaganza.

Oh, buffet tip:

Always go past the rolls,
right to the lobster and shrimp.

Did you write that down, Niles?

It's all up here, sir.

Oh, you guys'll have
such a great time,

and you'll come back

with a whole new
lease on life.

Of course,
I'll still be here,

saddled with
the old lease--
Miss
Fine.

Shoveling snow
in the walkway.
Miss Fine.

Probably fall,
break my head.

Oh, you'll pick me up
when you get back.
Miss
Fine!

What?

If I'm
traveling
with the
children,

naturally I expect
the nanny to accompany
us.

Oh...

How kind of you to think of me.

What about Niles,
though?

Don't you want
a little peace and quiet?

Desperately.
How soon can you all pack?

Oh...

♪♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪♪

♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one
Of those crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there to sell makeup
But the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style,
she had flair ♪♪

♪♪ She was there ♪♪

♪♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
Finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪

A vacation?
That's a splendid idea.

I've been dying to get away.

Well, now's your chance,
since I'll be out of town.

Oh.

I hear Club Med has

a "desperate women with
no prospects" package.

It's a waste of money.

So I've heard.

Oh, C.C., you know
we'd like to take you with us,

but this is really a time for me
to be alone with the family.

Woo-hoo, Mr. Sheffield!

Oh, wait till you see
the adorable bathing
suit

I got
for the
honeymoon--

I mean, the vacation.

Oh, Grace will look very cute
in that.

What Grace?
This is for
me.

If we're going
to Gilligan's
Island,

I want to be Ginger.

You mean
you're going with them?

A nanny's work
is never done.

Well, if you'll
all excuse me,

I have a life
to get on
with.

I have
a standing
invitation

with a certain senator.

Mm, what some politicians
won't do for a vote.

GRACE: ♪♪ Ooh-wee ♪♪
♪♪ Ooh-wee, baby ♪♪

♪♪ Won't you let me
Take you on a sea cruise? ♪♪

Yeah!

Oh, they don't write 'em
like that anymore.

I can't wait
to go
snorkeling.

Me too.

Maggie floating
face-down in the water?

I'm there.

Niles, you didn't have to
drive us to the airport.

Oh, yes, I did, sir.

If need be,
I would've carried you.

Oh, I can't stand
driving backwards.

I get carsick.

Uh, Miss Babcock,

would you mind
switching with me?

Is it absolutely necessary?

Did you see
the pea soup scene

inThe Exorcist?

All right, all right.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh!

Oop, whoops!

You got a run
in your stocking.

Oh, no.
It's just a spider vein.

Oh, these
lifeguards
are gorgeous.

I can't wait to drown.

Not that we're ever
going to get there

with this traffic.

I know a shortcut.

No. No, no. We'll stay
on the expressway.

It's the most direct route.

Well, that's
what
my father said

when we were on our way
to see Liza

at the
Westbury
Music Fair.

P.S.: We got
there
so late,

She was halfway through
her encore of "New
York."

Don't you mean
"New York, New York"?

That's how
late
we were.

MAXWELL: Miss Fine,
we've passed that same
derelict six times.

Are we there yet?

I told you to go
before we left the house.

I didn't have to go then.

Whatever you do,

don't think about
rushing rivers

or babbling brooks

or waterfalls.

♪♪ I'm singin' in the rain ♪♪

Is that a gas station?

No.

Say, where's Ronnie's
Slack Shack?

Who cares?

Well, I'm losing
all my landmarks.

Everything is white
from the snow.

Oh, I know what
we'll do. I
know.

We'll go to my mother's.

From there, I could
find my way anywhere.

Well, couldn't you
just pretend

that you've just
left your mother's

and are picking me
up here, on the way
to the airport?

Forget it!

If you're taking me
away for the
weekend,

the least you could
do
is pick me up.

What kind of girl
do you think I am?

What are you
doing here?

Where's
your bathroom?

Oh, down the hall,
but don't use the rosette soaps.

They're just for show.

The Glade is under the sink!

Your father
was just in there.

Oh...

I have to go
too.
Where's your
other bathroom?

Oh, it's in the luncheonette
on the corner,

but they make you
order something.

I recommend
the grilled cheese.

I am so sorry
for this intrusion, Mrs. Fine.

Oh, not at all.

It's an honor to
have you in our
house.

You couldn't call,

tell a person
that you're coming?

I would've
Windexed the couch!

Ma!

Mrs. Fine, please, don't go
to any trouble.

We'll only gonna be here
for a minute.

We're on our way to the airport.

Yeah.

You mean
you haven't heard?

What?
Heard what?

I just saw it on TV.

It's the worst blizzard
in 30 years.

Oh, it doesn't look that bad.

Oh, God.

Did Kathie Lee
come into the studio?

No.
Oh, it's bad!

Yeah!

All the airports and the bridges
are closed.

What?

Are you telling me
we're
actually stuck here?

What about our vacation?

The Caribbean-- feh!

You never know when
there's a revolution, a coop.

You'll stay here
where you're nice and safe.

So, are you hungry?

I could make a rump roast.

I got a tongue
in the freezer.

What did she say?

Well, I am feeling
all refreshed

and raring to go!

Who's gonna tell her?

Oh, please, allow me.

The bridges, airports,
and weekends with a senator

have been shut down
due to the blizzard.

Good one, Niles.

Let's go!

Oh, I get it.
You're all in on it, huh?

[GIGGLING]

Tell me he's joking!

It won't be so bad.

Ma's gonna
boil
a tongue.

TELEVISION:
Wheel...

Of...

Fortune!

FRAN: What's Vanna
wearing?

A blue short sequined décolleté.

Oh,
that's
a rerun!

Have you ever had
the opportunity

of working
with Merv
Griffin?

Uh--

The man is brilliant.

You know, he still
makes up the puzzles

all by himself.

He's a giant
in the industry.

Yeah, his weight
does go up and down,

God bless him.

Oh, my goodness.

Miss Fine,
what are you
wearing?

Well, as far as I'm concerned,

our vacation
is starting right now.

Then I want a refund.

Oh, there's always one
in the tour group.

Miss Babcock,

you've hardly touched
your tongue.

Actually,
I'm on a no-tongue diet.

Oh, the senator
will be so disappointed.

I think it's really good,
Mrs. Fine.

Mm!

Say, I know
what'll set the mood.

How about a let's-get-acquainted
cocktail party?

Who wants wine?

Oh, absolutely!
Oh, please.

Red or purple?

Don't you have
anything drier?

Um, Bailey's Irish Cream?

Perhaps for dessert.

No!

For dessert we're
having
Jell-O 1-2-3.

Ma, I thought
they stopped making that

in the early '70s.

Well, I've
been
saving it

for a special occasion.

If this doesn't
knock me out,

hit me
with the bottle.

Hey, hey, hey,
little one.

What did I say?

No swimming
in the ocean

for two hours
after eating tongue.

And you should
put on some sunblock.

You don't want
to blotch, do you?

One bam and mah jongg!

This is terrifying.

Are you telling me
this Gilligan chap

never gets off the island?

He got off once,

but then they went back
with the Harlem Globetrotters.

I think I'll go
and watch the game with Mortie.

Well, keep your eyeglasses on.

He's clipping his toenails,
and those suckers can fly.

This is pathetic.

Right now,
I should be windsurfing

into the sunset
with this guy.

His tanned... buff arms
around me.

In your dreams.

And even then,
I'll be watching you.

Don't feel so
bad,
Maggie.

[SHRIEKS]

Excellent!

Oh, that was so satisfying.

Brighton,
you are so immature.

Did you find
the who-cut-the-cheese pillow?

No!

I'm in hell.

Join the club.

[DOORBELL BUZZES]

SYLVIA: That's
the doorbell.

Thanks, Ma.
We were all wondering.

Oh, that's okay, Niles.
I'll get it.

Oh, sorry.
Force of
habit.

Oh, look!

It's the cute cabaña boy.

Hi, Kenny. What's up?

How's your
parents?
What do you need?

Not much. They're fine.
Fabric softener.

Oh...

Come on in.

Boy, look how big
you got.

You really
grew into your ears.

Well, I had that growth spurt
after my Bar Mitzvah.

Hey...

You want to meet
a real liveshiksa

Kenny, this is Maggie.
Maggie, Kenny.

Hi.
Hi.

Mix and mingle!

We're stuck here.

I've been stuck here
for 17 years.

At least you get to leave
when the snow melts.

Cool jeans.

Oh, thanks. I got 'em
at Ronnie's Slack Shack.

Where is that place?

It's on Union Turnpike,

right next door
to Vinnie's Jacket Racket.

Oh, yeah...

By the Blouse House.

Does anyone have
a sharp knife?

Hey, you want to come down
to the new launderette?

If you think I'm cute now,

you should see me
under the fluorescent lights.

Oh, aren't they cute?

It's just likeBlue Lagoon.

She's Brooke Shields
and he's David Brenner.

He seemed like
a nice young man.

If anyone wants my opinion--

Hands?

Niles...

Sorry, sir, but every time
I try to get out,

she pulls me back in.

Say what you will,

but this
is an iffy neighborhood.

For all we know,
he could be a member of a gang.

Oh, what gang?
The Oys in the 'Hood?

I'm telling you,
this kid is a doll.

His father invented

the little
plastic
thingies

on the ends
of
shoelaces.

Oh, of course--
the lace-thingie heir.

Where have you
been hiding him?

Oh, stop.
Mr. Sheffield,
no.

It's your vacation.
Oh, I know,

and I'm having
such a lovely
time

here in
the sitting
room,

but I thought I'd
take
a little scenic
tour

Oh, while
you're in there,

will you pull out the capon
for tomorrow?

And smear on

some of the Campbell's
Creamy Mushroom.

It is awfully nice
of your parents

to take us in
like this.

Well, that's the
kind
of people they
are.

They consider you all family,
and when it comes to family,

we Fines stick together.

I'll tell you,

there's more warmth
in this little apartment

than in all
the Caribbean islands

put together.

Oh, hello,
what's
this?

A fortune chicken?

Oh, is that not
romantic?

My father left my
mother
a love letter

and stuffed it
in the chicken

between the heart
and the giblets.

Oh, isn't that...
Grotesque.

It's a little smeared.
Can you make that out?

Here...

Uh, "My darling,
my passion for you...

lives forever."

Oh, I can just
weep from the beauty

that is my
parents'
union.

"Yours forever,
Paul Zelaznik."

Paul Zelaznik?

Who's Paul Zelaznik?

The butcher.
Oh, my God!

Is my mother
having an
affair?

SYLVIA:
Fran!
Fran?

Here, here!

I don't want it!

I was thinking...

Daddy's not in the mood
for chicken.

Oh, can you blame him?

So I thought I'd make spaghetti.

Make sure
there's enough ketchup.

All right.

My mother
and the
butcher.

Could this be happening?

Oh, come on,
Miss Fine.

We don't know
for certain

that note was
meant
for your mother.

I mean, there
are
plenty of ways

it could've gotten
into the chicken.

How? It sat on it?

There you go!

SYLVIA:
Oh, God!

Everyone, come and see!

I hope no
great
expectations

accompany this outfit.

I bought this for Daddy
to wear in the Poconos.

Poor guy was
living
in a fool's
paradise.

Thanks for your help.

You know,
if this heiress thing
doesn't work out,

you could have a great career
in fluffing and folding.

Thanks, Kenny.
Shalom!

MAGGIE:
Oh...

You know, I hear Jewish men
make excellent husbands.

I wonder who
she heard that from.

Probably Niles.

He's always buzzing
something in her
ear.

Don't you think Kenny
looks just like Luke Perry?

Poor thing.

She's as blind
as my father.

NILES: Ow!

Shh! You're gonna wake up
Mr. Sheffield!

Oh, it's all right.
I'm already awake.

Brighton's having that
kickboxing dream again.

Brighton. Brighton... honey...

Go sleep with your sisters.

C.C.'s in there.

Well, she's used to
getting
kicked out of bed.

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh... peace at last.

Oh, for heaven's sakes!

Miss Fine...
Ow!

Oh, sorry, old man.

Even Gilligan had a hammock.

Miss Fine,
it's 3 a.m.

Who can sleep?

Well, I wouldn't mind
having a crack at it.

Look at this picture
of my mother and
father

at their
30th
anniversary.

You think
you know someone!

Who is this
stranger
I call Ma?

Same person
she always was--

the one
who made this house

warmer than all the islands
in the Caribbean.

Oh yeah.

Did she have to warm
up
half of Queens too?

Don't you realize
the entire
foundation

by which I judge
all relationships

is just
crumbling
before my eyes?

Oh, Miss Fine,
you don't need

to lose your faith
in marriage

just because your mother
turns out to be human.

Oh, there was
a Jerry Vale
tape

in the veal!

Maxwell, I hope
you don't mind,

but Brighton
insisted
we trade places.

Ah... There.

If you're looking
for the hot water bottle,

that's not it.

More sausage?

Breakfast steak?

Eat up, eat up!

You'd love that, wouldn't
you? The faster we eat,

the sooner you could
go "shopping."

I'm through
dusting,
Mrs. Fine.

Can I be of
any further
service?

Ma, you're not

making her play
"cleaning girl," are you?

She does a good job.

I can see myself in the couch.

At the end of the
day,
I get paid a dollar.

A dollar, Ma?

Well, she's got no experience.

Unlike some people I know.

What are you talking about?
Like you don't know.

Fran, I'd like to see you
in the kitchen.

No, Ma, I'd like to see
you in the kitchen.

Fine, have
it
your way.

What's with you?
What's with you?

Me?
Me?

What's withyou?
What's withyou?

Excuse us!

We'll start lunch.

Okay, Ma, I want to know
for once and for all,

what is going on
here?

What are you
talking
about?

Oh! Chopped sirloin!
Extra lean!

Look at this.

Paulie the
butcher
takes very good
care of me.

Well, I'll bet.

Oh, lookie here--
mail's in.

Fran, have you been
going through my meat?

It's not
what you
think.

Ma, you and the butcher?

How could you?

Fran, you're blowing it
all out of proportion.

All we do is--
Oh, please, no details!

Once I get a picture
in my head...

It's just a little
innocent flirting.

You mean you're not
having an affair?

No, of course not.

He winks at me,

and I tell him
what a nice rump he has today,

and I-- I get a roast
half-price.

Ma, you tramp.

Hey, we're on
a fixed income
here.

Yeah, well, what would Daddy say
if he found out?

He knows.

Sometimes he comes down,

and he watches Paulie
give me the meat.

This is like
a really badGeraldo.

You can make fun
because you're
young.

You're still
turning
heads.

For me,
not so much anymore,

but when Paul Zelaznik
winks at me with his good eye,

I feel young again too.

What's the matter?

I think I can live
with this...

As long as you and Daddy
still love each other.

Of course we do,

and I'll tell you
a little secret.

Your father and
I
have better sex

with a full freezer.

Ma, I'm getting
a picture!

There'll be no sleeping
tonight.

Wheel...

Of...

Fortune!

Come on, Ma! It's a new one!

Here,
Brighton,
try this.

Mm. Not bad.
What is it?

Stuffed derma. Delish.

What's a derma?
Skin.

No, sweetheart,
it's not skin.

It's intestines.

Mortie, get out
of the bathroom!

I thought
after med school

I'd go
into stand-up comedy,

sort of a big joke
on my parents.

Oh, buy a
vowel,
you twit.

So everything's sorted out
with your parents?

Oh, yeah.

They're like
the Rock of
Gibraltar.

I don't know what you
were so worried about.

Can we come back here next year
for our vacation?

Yes, we are having
a good time, aren't we?

That's because
we're all
together.

Ah, who needs
the Caribbean anyway?

The roads are clear!
The airport's open!

All right, kids, pack it up.
We're out of this dump.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

ALL: ♪♪ Ooh-wee
Ooh-wee, baby ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh-wee, ooh-wee, baby ♪♪

♪♪ Ooh-wee
Ooh-wee, baby ♪♪

♪♪ Won't you let me
Take you on a sea cruise? ♪♪

[FRAN LAUGHING]

FRAN: Where's Brighton?

More tongue?

Ah!