All language subtitles for Life.To.AfterLife.I.Died.Now.What.2019.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX].English

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(light music)

- It's been called the
natural order of earth.

Species are born and
in the blink of an eye,

earth is full of life,
all in perfect harmony.

Along with all the plants and the animals,

humans are born into this
marvelous systems as well

and just like that, humans
are ready to roam the earth

and experience life on the planet.

But like in the natural order of life,

all living things must come to an end.

Death is inevitable.

Some fear death, while others welcome it.

Now it's estimated to some
500 to 750 million people

believe that when you're
dead, you're dead.

And conversely, there are billions

that believe in otherwise.

But one thing's for
certain, we all will die.

But do we really die or do
we go to some other place

and continue to live on?

Join me as I sit down
with these amazing people

that died but came back to talk about it.

(powerful music)
(thunder roaring)

(eerie music)

- I remember he was a very big man

and I remember him leaning into me

and he could tell that I was not okay.

I knew that I was dying.

They carried me in and the
look in the pastor's eyes,

I remember him standing up

and he slammed his fist on his desk.

And he asked me if I believed in God.

I said I believe in God.

And that's when my spirit that
I call it, my spiritual self,

left this shell, this physical body.

(eerie music)

When I left my body,
first I was on the ceiling

and I was looking down and I
was watching the paramedics

work on my body and put
me into the ambulance.

(sirens wailing)
(chattering)

And I knew at that moment,
well, that's really nice.

I'm glad they're doing that,
but I'm not coming back.

I just had this knowing.

And it was almost, you know,

instantly of having that knowing
that I wasn't coming back

that I remember feeling this
presence on my right side

and looking up and that's
when there was a tunnel

and that tunnel at first was dark for me.

Very rapidly it went to a
completely light filled tunnel

and it was filled with so much love.

It's so hard to put into human words

the love that was in that tunnel.

It was almost an energetic feeling

propelling me at this supersonic speed.

(eerie music)

For the first time, I
felt like I was alive.

I was really alive.

It was incredible 'cause
I had had so much pain

up until that moment that
I took my last breath.

But when I took that last breath,

it was the most wonderful feeling.

And it didn't contain me.

I was so much more than
that shell on the floor.

I had no desire to go back in.

I was done, I was checking out.

I still knew I was Erica McKenzie.

I knew that was the human me.

But I knew this was the real me.

(eerie music)

If all that happened to
me was that at that point,

I would have stayed in that tunnel

of love and light forever.

It was more than enough.

It was more love than I had ever felt

to that magnitude as a human on earth.

- Erica's lungs shut down and
she could no longer breathe.

The doctors tried to resuscitate her,

but she flat lined and died.

She felt her body then begin to float.

She noticed her pain was gone.

She said that she felt more alive

than when she was alive here on earth.

Now while in the tunnel, she felt a love

that she had never felt before.

This love was so intense she
said she would've been fine

to stay there forever.

(eerie music)

(twinkling music)

- I was close to three years old.

On the patio, there was a tank

and this tank was in a
corner and it was a big tank.

It held around 900 gallons of water

and we decided (gasps) let's
play catch across the tank.

I bended my legs and I
would lean very precariously

at the edge of this tank.

Well my sister threw the ball at me.

She didn't apply enough force

and when I leaned forward
to try to grab it,

the ball rolled on the surface on the tank

and I fell into the water.

(suspenseful music)
(screaming)

Probably was about 30,
40 degrees fahrenheit,

so the first thing I felt
when falling in the water

was this sense of being frigid cold.

I also realized that I could not breathe.

(dark music)

So the sense of feeling cold

or the sense of not being able to breathe

brought me to experience a
moment of absolutely horror.

(eerie music)

At that age, I didn't know that

if you fall into water, you drown.

We had never been in a pool,
we didn't have a bathtub,

so at that moment, the sense of terror

was very, very profound.

(dark music)

I could hear my heart.

Imagine the state of
anxiety, the state of horror.

My heart was beating very loud in my chest

like a bass drum.

Boom, boom, boom.

And then just like that,

it stopped and I was in absolute silence.

(light music)

But something happened.

While I was experiencing this
state of absolute terror,

I went from that to
experience absolute peace.

It was just like that,

I went from horror to a
state of absolute wellbeing.

I didn't know what happened,

but I was experiencing this sense

that I didn't need anything.

I didn't need to fight anymore.

I just was in this state of peace.

(light music)

- Ingrid was only three years old

and did not yet know how to swim.

The moment that she entered the water,

she was overwhelmed
with how frigid it was.

Now it wasn't too long
that Ingrid realized

she could no longer breathe.

Terror set in.

The beating of her heart
began to overwhelm her.

Then, in an instant, her heart stopped

and the world around her went silent.

(dark music)

- I get to the end of the tunnel.

I can see what looks to
be stars in a galaxy.

And then I felt this presence
that I had known as a child.

I recognized the presence
and it was so spectacular.

I could not even look upon it.

I knew it was God.

And while I didn't see a physical
form at this point of God,

I could feel as though God was
putting His arms around me.

(light music)

God and I stood there

and I'm looking in front of me

and there's all of these stars.

It was so incredible.

I have this overwhelming feeling of love

and all of a sudden, God
and I begin to communicate

and it wasn't anything that I was used to

communicating like on earth.

It was telepathically, meaning
I would think this thought

and as soon as I thought it,

God would replace it with an answer.

And as this dialogue was going on

and I am being filled with answers

to the questions that I'm asking,

and I hear this whirring noise
like an old antique projector

and I see on the screen three, two, one,

the life review of Erica McKenzie.

And I proceeded to have
this life review with God.

Everything that I had lived

from the day that I
was born until that day

31 human years later that I died.

And the events that
happened in this life review

were events that what I like
to call humanly significant,

accolades if you will.

Things that we as human
deem important in our life.

I remember seeing losing my
first tooth in first grade,

winning the spelling bee in third grade,

cheerleading awards,
you know, sports awards,

newspaper, yearbook editor,

going onto college,
graduating from college,

getting married, having children.

All of these things were
amazing experiences and memories

that I'm living, but there was this theme.

And I have this human
reaction of wait a minute,

I haven't seen anything negative.

And I know I'm a sinner 'cause
I was raised in religion

which I'm thankful for, it was a tool,

I can see and appreciate
it for what it was,

but at the same time, I
had this huge fear of dying

because I knew I was a sinner

and I knew I was going to go to hell

and I certainly knew I wasn't perfect,

but why wasn't God judging me?

Wasn't that what was supposed to happen?

We get to the end, the day I died

and God still had not judged me.

God had only loved me.

(ominous music)

I have this incredible
feeling that I'm home

and I never wanted to be parted from God

and this feeling again.

I had never felt this kind
of love, unconditional love.

And all of a sudden in front
of me appear eyeglasses.

Now, mind you, back then
I had perfect vision.

But here's this pair of eyeglasses

and they are the size of a small car.

And I'm thinking, there's no way.

I knew that God wanted me
to put these eyeglasses on,

but I had the feeling I'm
still the size I was on earth

and these glasses are
the size of a vehicle.

It's not gonna work.

As soon as I'm thinking that
human thought of limitation,

I found myself putting me hands

and picking up the glasses
and drawing them near.

And wouldn't you know, as
soon as I got them on my face,

they fit perfectly.

And I remember God saying to me,

with God, all things are possible.

And with that, I heard that
whirring projector noise

in my ear again like the first time.

Countdown begins, three, two, one.

Life review of Erica McKenzie

and there is me on the
screen, a baby again.

(dark music)

I remember how my heart
felt like it was pounding

through my chest and I felt
like I was losing my breath

because I was starting to panic.

I now had the realization I'm
having another life review

and I am such a bad sinner,
I've messed up so much

that God has to give me
a separate life review

just for all the bad
things that I had done.

So I'm feeling this
panic because, you see,

I have God's glasses on now.

So everything that I started seeing

was not at all that was
in the first life review.

The first life review was everything

that mankind deems as
important, significant.

But the second life review

was everything that
God knows is important.

(dark music)

- Erica meets a supreme being
that she refers to as God.

She begins to communicate with God.

God shows her a review of her life.

Like a movie, she
watches her life play out

from birth 'til death.

She watches all the
wonderful moments in her life

and at the end of her life review,

she realizes that she was not judged.

Again, she's overwhelmed
with a feeling of love.

But then begins a much
different life review.

(ominous music)

- Before I went to that
space of absolute wellbeing

was a space that was absolutely dark.

I had my eyes open and
I only saw darkness.

But right there, when I went to experience

this sense of wellbeing, a
light came from the bottom

and that light, it was soft
but it was enough to illuminate

my whole watery surrounding.

So this was incredible
because this is what I call

the silence behind the silence.

And later in my life, I
crave for this silence.

(ominous music)

Being in this atmosphere
of silence and light,

suddenly I started to see
bubbles suspended in the water.

These bubbles were surrounded by light

and I started to chase these bubbles.

And it was chasing these
bubbles that I turn around

and that's when I saw a
body suspended in the water.

(eerie music)

And right there I knew
that this was my body.

And amazingly, I didn't feel fearful.

I did not feel even surprised.

It was a sense of familiarity.

It was the sense of, like,

(gasping) this already
happened to me before.

I turn around and I
started to see flowers.

They were blooming from nowhere.

These were the most
beautiful, beautiful flowers

and the sense of
dimension also disappeared

and I was picked up by these flowers.

And I put the analogy that for me,

it was like this sense that
you are going back to the womb,

that sense where you don't
have to do absolutely anything.

(eerie music)

And then again in just a flash,
I appear in my mom's path.

And that's when I said, ooh, that's Mom?

And right there, she is stopped.

She did not hesitate, she
did not give another step,

she just stopped.

She knew immediately that
something was happening at home.

(eerie music)

My mom is incredible

because she has always been so intuitive

and she listened to her intuition.

And she just decided to turn
and started to run back home.

She knew something was happening at home

with one of her babies and she just run.

I looked at her and I was like, ooh.

But I got distracted at that moment.

The realization that wherever
I put my mind, I could go.

So if I would see a dog
at the end of the street,

I would be there.

If I would see a tree, people.

So it was like, (gasping)
now I was having fun

playing a game of going places.

For me, time and space had vanished

and I could be anywhere at any time.

And right there, again, just like a flash,

I appear in a realm

that was made of pure,
bright, intense, shiny light.

And Craig, for the first
three years of my life,

this was the first time
that I felt that I was home.

(bright, reverent music)

Of course there's no five senses anymore

like in the human body.

So everything turns more into

what I would describe as a knowing.

Instead of going with the five senses,

I would just call this
the spiritual sense,

is the knowing, experiencing things

at a higher, higher level.

In this realm of the light,

I didn't really see
anybody or hear anybody.

But I felt so welcome.

(groans) I just felt like I was home.

And it was again the sense
that no time had happened.

No three years had passed.

It's like, oh, I was just
out and now I'm back.

Again, it was this sense of familiarity.

And then although I saw my
body suspended in the water,

up to this point, I did
not have the realization

that I was not in it, that
I was not that persona.

And this was the moment when
I realized I am not that.

And I saw myself, I realized
myself as a being of light.

(reverent music)

And this is when I
started to have the sense

of pretty much dissolving with the whole,

becoming part of the whole.

And this went even farther
because I experienced

what I call the sense of non-self.

It's that place where I was experiencing

just pure consciousness
and just absolute presence.

Some people feel afraid
about the world, nothingness,

but I said, no, it's the nothingness

that encompasses everything.

- Ingrid emerges from
that silent darkness.

She then begins to see
bubbles of light around her.

She felt detached from the body

floating beside her in the water.

She then remembered this as
though it had already happened.

She then was immersed
in beautiful flowers.

Ingrid then connects with
her mother out on that path.

She then travels to a realm of light

and felt as though she was back home.

She no longer felt attached
to the persona of Ingrid.

(eerie music)

- Life review of Erica McKenzie

and there's me on the
screen, a baby again.

I didn't even remember
most of these things.

Things like when I was little,

I was sitting on the lap

in the rest home of this elderly woman

and I was brushing her hair

and I was singing "Jesus Loves Me."

And there was this love energy exchange

between she and I, this gift.

Then there was, I was helping
like a homeless person.

I didn't have any money, but
I gave my last two dollars

to this homeless person
so they'd have something.

Rescuing animals that,
you know, were abused.

Listening to a friend or even a stranger

who just needed somebody to listen

to what they were going through.

There was a theme to all of
these things I began to see

as I was living each day
like it was a human day.

I was living through everything

and getting closer to 31
years, the day I died.

I'm sitting here thinking, okay.

All of these things involve love.

Love was the answer.

There was no judgment present.

God did not judge me again,
the second life review.

But love was the answer.

It is the only thing that was important

all through the second life review.

And we get to the very end

and God filled me this time
with more unconditional love

with no judgment present

than I had been filled with at this point.

I thought I couldn't
take anymore of the love.

That's how great it was.

I really thought I was gonna burst.

It was so incredible.

I'm not judged, I'm now
definitely not going home

because I can't be separated from this.

It felt like my natural
life source, my God source,

and there was nowhere I wanted to be.

But the lessons continued

and God told me to look to my right.

And this is when the lesson of
the rippling effect happened.

This is the only time that I
saw God in any physical form

that I was allowed to be able
to visualize with my eyes.

And I remember looking and
it was God's fingertips

all the way up to His shoulder.

And the best way I can describe it,

it was about as big
as, like, a semi truck.

And I remember His arm and watching.

And His arm swung up high.

And I remember looking up

and I could not see the
top of His fingertips.

It went past up into the stars.

And I remember watching and waiting

and all of a sudden, God put
the palm of His hand down

and appeared in the palm
of His hand a huge rock.

(eerie music)

You are the rock, you are the light,

the light is of Me and I am with you.

And as He said that, He let go of the rock

and we watched the rock
begin to fall together.

And it seemed like it
took such a long time

and as we're watching this rock fall,

I'm thinking, okay, I need to remember,

I am the rock, I am the light,

but the light is of
God and God is with me.

And as I said that to myself,

appeared out in front of me
the largest body of water.

I could not even see the
borders of the water.

And I watched as this rock
got closer to the water

and finally it made one big impact

that set off one ripple.

And we stood together and
we watched as that ripple,

it grew and it grew
and it grew and it grew

'til I couldn't even see the
border of that single ripple.

And God said to me, mankind is the water.

You are the ripple.

I couldn't even wrap my
head around the magnitude

of the message that God was
trying to teach me at this time.

God said, you are the ripple.

Your thoughts, words and
actions will effect mankind

as the ripple does the water.

(ominous music)

And I remember thinking
over and over again

about that lesson

and watching how significant
that single ripple was,

how much impact it had.

And knowing that that rock had caused it

and that rock had a light and
that light, it came from God

and it was the energy life force.

I realized in that moment
that it wasn't just about me.

It was about each of us.

Each of us are the rock,
each of us have that light,

the light is from our Creator.

It's up to us if we choose
to shine that light or not.

I didn't think I could
handle anything else.

I mean, this was so much information.

It was really important
for me to remember it.

And I thought we were done,

but then God said to me, look again.

So I had to look to my right again.

And in front of me this
time were these shelves,

like bookshelves.

And the shelves kept on going
past stars and galaxies.

And I remember looking behind me

and the shelves kept on going.

And all of a sudden appeared gifts,

presents like at Christmas time,

and not one gift looked the same, not one.

And God said to me, when you're born,

I give each and every one of you gifts.

I have more gifts for all of you

and all you have to do to
get those gifts is ask,

but then be quiet and listen.

(reverent music)

- Erica sees a much different life review.

This review is centered around moments

where she expressed love to strangers.

She realized again that
she was not judged by God.

Then she saw God's arm
raise up into the sky

and in God's palm was a rock.

God tells her that she was the rock.

She watched Him drop the rock
into the large body of water.

The rock set off one ripple
that grew out forever.

He tells her that the words
and actions are the ripple

that will effect mankind.

(ominous music)

- And when I was experiencing
this state of being,

my mom finally made it home.

(swings squealing)

So when my sister saw my mom,

she said, Ingrid is there
and I cannot get her.

This is another amazing thing,

these are the synchronicities in life.

My mom was a teacher and she
was trained CPR for children,

so she knew exactly what to do.

This is how life is so incredible

and it's when we realize

that everything is meant
to be the way it is.

So my mom went into the
tank and she pulled me out.

She said I was like a raggedy doll.

She said that I didn't
have, there was no pulse,

I wasn't breathing,

that my entire body was no absolute color,

my lips were blue.

And she started to do what
she knew to revive me.

And at that moment, Craig,
I was so disconnected,

so detached from this
dimension, from this body,

from this reality, that I did
not feel absolutely anything

that she was doing to me.

I just was in my space of bliss

when I fell again in just a flash,

there's nothing I could do.

I was just falling and I felt this sense

that I was being vacuum
pulled back into the body.

(ominous music)

And I knew I was back
when all of the feelings

of coldness and discomfort,

feeling the lack of freedom, were back.

And let me tell you, Craig,
I was not a happy person.

- Ingrid's mother was rushing back home.

We learned that Ingrid's
mother was a schoolteacher

that just happened to be trained in CPR.

Ingrid believes that these are
the synchronicities of life.

It was as though her mother was
trained for this very moment

to save her child.

And after learning that
Ingrid was under the water,

she quickly jumped in after her.

Her mother managed to get
Ingrid out of the water,

but at this point Ingrid was
already blue and had no pulse.

Ingrid was completely unaware
that her mother had begun CPR.

Then in a flash,

Ingrid was falling back
to earth into her body.

Ingrid was back to feeling
that lack of freedom

that she had just experienced.

Ingrid was not happy
to be back in her body.

(eerie music)

- At this point God directed
me to look to my left and down.

And I looked down and it was almost as if

it was always in front of me,
but I had never noticed it

until that moment when
God asked me to look.

And there was planet Earth.

And we were a significant distance away

and yet I had the ability to see.

I could see my family, where they were at,

my children, what they were doing.

And that's when I had this
knowing that yes, I'm a mom,

my kids are little.

Yes, technically the human
side says they need me,

I need to go back.

But I was flooded with the
knowledge and the wisdom

that we're never separated.

There is a bridge between heaven and earth

and we will always be with our loved ones.

The physical is so limiting
and there's so much more.

And having this feeling, it was incredible

and it just solidified

that I knew I wasn't going to go back.

I wanted to stay.

This was the first and only time

I felt this incredible amount of sadness

and it was coming from God.

The best way I can try to put human words

to the magnitude of sadness
that God was feeling

was I haven't lost a
child, but I can imagine--

Sorry.

My children, the most
important thing to me,

and this feeling of this
tremendous amount of sadness

from God was like losing a child,

but times millions of children at once.

The loss was that deep.

I said to God, Your children
are okay, it's okay.

Look, why are You sad?

As if I were the expert telling
God to look on the planet

to see His children were okay.

And as I said that, I go to look with God

and I see something I hadn't seen yet.

Something was flickering off the planet.

And so I remember trying
to focus my vision more.

And as soon as I did that I
could see that they were flames.

And there was flames engulfing the planet.

I started having this
tremendous panic attack

because the first thing I thought of is,

my children are down there, my family,

my loved ones are down there.

God, help, what's happening?

And as soon as I'm thinking this thought,

appeared in front of
me those glasses again.

And I knew from the first time,

I didn't have a choice
to put the glasses on

when they appeared.

And so I remember thinking,

I can't handle seeing
more than what I'm seeing.

And it didn't matter,

as soon as I'm thinking
that human thought,

I felt my hands reaching for the glasses.

I drawed them on my face once
more and then I had to look.

And I looked and this
time with God's glasses on

what I saw was between the
flames shooting off the earth,

these silvery white almost
luminescent life force souls.

And they were lifting off unscathed

in between the flames from planet earth.

They were coming up behind us on my left

and into planet heaven
which I knew was behind me.

And as they would go by, I
could feel the love energy

that propelled them.

It was the fuel.

And I remember God still
having that sadness feeling.

It wasn't lifted.

And here I was relieved

because I could feel people
that I knew, my loved ones,

going past me and I knew
it was heaven behind me

and I knew that's where I wanted to be

and that's where the love was.

So I said, God, it's okay,
it's okay, look again.

And that's when God said to
me, Erica, it's free will.

And I said, what do you
mean it's free will?

They're coming in.

And God said, look.

I looked again and this time
I saw past all the flames

and the souls lifting off

and I saw the core of
the earth on the ground

the souls that were not lifting off.

(ominous music)

I remember panicking and asking God,

why can't you save them?

Save them, can't you save them, too?

And God said to me, Erica, it's free will.

Hand in hand with the gift
of life, I give free will.

And I understood that
this meant that God loved

not some of us but each
and every one of us so much

that it was the greatest
gift paired with life

to choose to let us choose

if we wanted to have that love
connection with our Creator.

As a parent you think you know
what's best for your children

and we are God's children,

but yet God loved us so much

that He gave us that gift to choose

and didn't say, you have to
love Me, you have to choose Me.

It was choosing love connection.

And the souls that had not lifted off

had chose to not have
that love connection.

So the sadness that I was feeling

was for the ones that were left behind.

As soon as we got done seeing that,

I felt my attention directed to,

this was now the first time

that I was going to be
able to turn around.

The whole time we had these
lessons and in heaven,

I knew that heaven was behind me

but my focus needed to be in front.

So this was the first time
I was told I could turn.

And as I turn around,

it's so hard to put into human words

'cause really can't think of anything

that gives it the justice,
the magnitude it deserves.

But heaven was a planet.

(reverent music)

And it was so big in
comparison to the earth

that the earth is like
a speck of dust in size.

As soon as I'm seeing this, I
have this natural propulsion

to wanna just start running to heaven

to catch up to the
other souls if you will.

They had already gone in.

And I thought the lessons were over.

And the feelings that I had
felt that unconditional love

of not having separation
with our Creator anymore

and knowing that I was home

I really didn't think it'd
be possible to send me back.

So I remember feeling like I
was starting to run to heaven

and being frozen in my tracks.

And God said, wait a minute, child.

You're not staying.

You're not staying, child.

You work for Me now, remember?

And I had remembered in those
days leading up to my death

that contract that I made with God,

that if God would let
me live and help me heal

and get healthy again,
I would work for God.

I would do anything.

And God held me to it.

I didn't think He was
watching, but He was.

- Erica sees earth from a distance.

She could also see her children
and what they were doing.

Erica could feel that
connection with her children

even though they were
a great distance away.

She then feels a sadness from God.

Erica is now shown earth
from a different perspective.

She's shown flames.

She's then able to see earth
from yet another perspective.

She watches souls leaving
earth and flying past her.

She learns about free will
and begins to feel the sadness

for the souls left behind on earth.

Erica is then allowed to see
heaven off in the distance.

She's then reminded of a
deal that she made with Him.

(light music)

- When I came back,

it was clear that I had an
awareness I did not have before.

When I started to see my parents,

I didn't even feel them as my parents.

I felt them as my equal.

I also had experienced
this sense of oneness

so for me that was a sense of equality

and the other thing I couldn't,

I mean, for me, seeing this body

was this sense, I am not that child.

I couldn't even relate
with all the children

because to me it was like,

what is happening with these people?

They don't know anything.

The other thing that I came with abilities

I did not have before.

Right after my near death experience,

I could read, I could write.

I could solve mathematical problems.

I could put together complex puzzles.

So this was something incredible.

And even later in school,

the more these abilities were developing,

to me it was like, whoa,
I'm not learning anything.

I don't need to learn anything.

I am just remembering.

There was also abilities
for me that at the moment

I didn't know they were
something different

because I didn't know the
difference with other people.

But later on, I realized
that I could see auras.

I could see beings of light.

So I could see things
other people couldn't see.

I could see, communicate.

I could also later on in my
life when I was six years old

I started to see what we call the spirits.

Since I was four years old,

I started to have visions of the future.

So throughout my life,

I knew which career I was going to pick.

At nine, I knew who I was going to marry.

At 12, the places where
I was going to work.

So I could smell things
that were not here.

I could see, taste, hear, feel,

so yeah, I had all these abilities.

And through time I discovered
other people did not.

I mean, all of us have them,

but through time and
conditioning, people lose them

because we're told that it's not true.

But for me, since I was this clean compass

from the beginning, that was
the natural state of my being

and it was just through time realizing

all that was done have
the manifested like I do

is being present in my life
through my entire life, Craig.

(meditative music)

To be free from the fear of death

because I realized that
there is not death.

We are eternal beings.

I was so little when I already knew

that I was eternal and that I
had come and gone many times,

wore many different costumes.

- Ingrid has returned to
her three year old body.

She immediately knew that
she now had an awareness.

She also felt that her
parents were equal to her.

Ingrid no longer felt
that she was that child.

She no longer could
relate to other children.

She instantly was able to read, write

and solve mathematical problems.

Ingrid describes it as not
a learning but a recalling.

Not only were her
academic skills advanced,

but these unusual spiritual
abilities appeared.

(ominous music)

- And before I could argue my case

to stay with God in heaven

because I couldn't fathom
He was sending me back,

I remember feeling like I was pushed

from the top of my head
down into that tunnel,

the tunnel that I had
come up in to heaven.

But this time, the tunnel
was completely different.

This time, the tunnel
was completely confining.

And I felt like I only had space

to keep my hands by my sides.

I was standing upright and
it was completely dark;

there was no light present.

And I didn't feel that
love sustaining connection,

that energy force, that life force,

like I did when I was coming up.

It was empty and I felt
alone for the first time

in this whole experience.

(eerie music)

I started slowing down in the tunnel

and I remember thinking,
okay, I can't see anything.

That's one of my senses.

I can't feel anything 'cause I can't move.

I'm stuck and I'm coming to a stop.

And it was like this paralyzing panic.

And all of a sudden, I
have that realization,

I hear this buzzing noise.

It sounded like white
noise like on a TV screen.

And I thought, okay, this
is the only sense I have.

I'm going to try to pay
attention and get help.

I'm stuck somewhere and I
need to get back down to earth

'cause God said I have this mission.

I gotta get down there.

I have no idea where I'm at.

And I remember paying attention

and as I started paying
attention to that buzzing noise,

it started getting louder and louder.

And as it got louder,
it started pulling me

out of the tunnel.

And I went from standing
up out of the tunnel

to flat on my back with
my hands at my side

and I remember floating to some distance.

It's still completely
dark, I can't see anything,

there's no stars, nothing.

And then I come to a
stop and I'm hovering.

And as I'm hovering, that buzzing noise

starts turning to this muffled (garbling)

like garbled murmur times
hundreds and hundreds of people.

(dark music)

Negativity, there was
loathing, self-loathing,

there was anger, there was hatred.

There was so much energy draining feeling

that I felt if I listened, if
I was around this conversation

any longer that I would
start getting sucked into it

and my life force would be drained.

And as soon as I had that
feeling, I was panicking

because I didn't feel God
in this whole experience.

As soon as I had that feeling,

all I could do is cry out to God.

It was a telepathic communication again

and I remember saying,
God help me, I love You.

I didn't understand what was going on,

especially after everything

that had just happened to me in heaven.

As soon as I cried out

and I made that love
heartfelt connection to God,

my light turned on in me

and I was the only light
in the whole place.

And as it illuminated
everything, I could see below me,

I was just hovering within
inches of all these people.

And they were miserable in this pit.

And they could see me and
they started grabbing at me.

And I remember feeling all the
detail, like their fingers.

There was big hands,
there were small hands,

there were strong hands, weak.

And I could feel them grabbing
on trying to pull me down.

I panicked and all I could
do is cry out to God.

God, help me, I love You, please help me.

And I felt like if I would have
spent another moment there,

all my life force
would've been drained out.

(ominous music)

I was in the edge of hell.

And so for the rest of the
time which felt like forever

getting back down to planet earth,

I spent having this
communication with God.

I love You, God, thank
You so much for loving me.

And it was that force, again that fuel,

that sustained me, that
propelled me back down to earth

where I found myself eventually

on the emergency room ceiling

looking down at my
lifeless shell of a body

and not wanting to go in but
having no choice at this point.

(eerie music)

The next morning I was greeted
by my attending physician

and he came in and said,
good morning, Mrs. McKenzie,

how are you this morning?

Well, it was so early in the morning

I was still the only person in my room.

And as he came over to the bedside

to start doing the
health assessment for me,

I remember reaching for
this pink little bedpan.

And I knew I was gonna throw up.

I couldn't even contain it.

And as I'm reaching
for it, it was my voice

and it just came out of me.

There was no filter and it was,
Doctor, Doctor, oh my gosh,

I have to tell you what happened to me.

I've just been with God,
I've been in heaven.

I've had all these
lessons, I had life reviews

and I just was trying to
tell him what happened.

He was the first person.

And the poor guy, I
don't blame him at all,

but I literally watched all
the color just left his face.

He didn't even do the health assessment.

I was still trying to talk to him

and he left the room immediately.

A little nurse, she was so sweet.

She came in, she had been
charting on me in the hallway.

She shut the door and she came over

and she sat on the bedside and she said,

I just heard everything that
you said to that doctor.

And I need to tell you

and I need you to be quiet and listen.

That's a common theme for me.

I was told that so many times

through this entire experience.

(sighing)

I've worked for that
doctor for seven years

and I'm so sorry, child,
because I believe you.

I know where you've been.

But the first person that you
told about your experience

to heaven and with God is an atheist.

(dark music)

When the doctor had returned,

he returned with the nurse
later and they medicated me.

And it was determined then

that I probably had had some
sort of chemical imbalance

nervous breakdown, a late
set of bipolar disorder,

which at 31 years old female is very rare.

And because I shared that experience,

there's this fine line
that happened looking back

of the doctor taking that information

and putting his maybe bias feelings

of how he maybe felt about the afterlife

and dismissing it as crazy.

And so I was checked
into a psychiatric ward

and medicated at one point up
to 12 different medications

for talking about the experience I had.

And I learned really fast
that the more I shared

and I felt like it was
this safe environment,

the more medications that I was on.

So I learned pretty quickly,
it was a learning curve for me

not to talk about this,
to deny this experience

so that I could get out.

- Erica was being pushed back to earth.

She then entered a much different tunnel.

This tunnel was dark and
left her feeling alone.

She no longer felt that love.

Erica began to hear a white noise.

She then felt a pull to a negative place.

Erica then sees what she
calls the sea of souls.

She then feels the draining
energy effect of this place.

Out of a state of panic,
Erica cries out to God.

Just then, she felt a light within her

illuminate the souls below.

And like that, she was
gone from this place.

Now back in her body,

Erica blurts out her story to her doctor,

but she's then medicated and
checked into a psych ward.

She learned quickly

of the dangers of talking
about her experience.

(dark music)

(orchestral music)

- So I was a 38 year old college professor

and I was an atheist in my teen years

because of all the things
that were taking place

in my family and in the culture.

This was back in the 60s, the mid 60s.

It just made no sense to go to church.

Church was boring.

It was silly, it was archaic.

I became a modern person,
someone who believed in science.

If you can see it, touch it
and measure it, it's real.

And if you can't, it's superstition,

it's nonsense, it's silly.

And by the time I was
17 and went to college

and took a philosophy
class from an atheist,

I had become a full-blown atheist.

And I was interested in my career,

I was interested in my own
gratification of my pleasures

and I didn't really care
that much about other people.

(dark music)

It was the most acute pain

I had ever experienced in my life.

I had been in accidents, I've
been hospitalized before,

but this was way over the top.

When it hit, I thought
I'd been shot by a bullet

in the center of my abdomen.

It dropped me to the ground,

thrashing, screaming,
hollering and in terror

because I didn't know what was going on.

My wife called the desk at the hotel

and they called an emergency service.

A very nice doctor came,
got me up off the floor,

examined me and within minutes

he knew exactly what was wrong.

He told me that I had to
have surgery immediately

or I would die.

I was parked in a room.

Unfortunately, there
was no doctor available

because it was a Saturday.

No surgeon available.

So I was never under the care of a doctor.

I was given no medication whatsoever.

And I was left that way for 10 hours.

The pain went from I
thought the top of my head

was gonna blow off because of the pain.

It was incredibly difficult to believe.

(suspenseful music)

To worse and worse and worse

because the hydrochloric
acid and digestive juices

and enzymes and bacteria
and all that good stuff

that dissolves your food
was now dissolving me

and it went from my groin up to my neck.

So it was just like a wall of pain.

I couldn't talk, I couldn't think,

I couldn't do anything

except I was very focused on breathing

because I was terrified of dying

'cause I knew that when
you died, it was all over.

I was 38 years old.

Things were going pretty well for me

and I didn't want to die.

And I kept wondering,
this can't be happening,

this can't be real.

This just, why is this happening to me?

(dark music)

Very upsetting was I noticed
that in the bed I had occupied

was a piece of meat

and when I looked at the face
of that dead piece of meat,

it looked exactly like me.

But being a rational human
being, I knew that it wasn't me

because I was standing there looking at it

and you can't be standing over
yourself looking at yourself.

That's impossible.

But it was very confusing

because I knew that that thing
had been me but it wasn't me

and yet I was more alive

than I've ever been in my whole life.

(ominous music)

I died.

And because I didn't have any
theological background at all

or religious background
at all as an adult,

I thought that I'd gone down
the sewer pipe of the universe

into the cesspool.

(intense music)

And that I was being
processed into becoming

the raw sewage stuff these
other people had become.

That's when I knew that
I wasn't coming back

to this world ever again.

- Howard was a college professor
who believed in atheism.

According to Howard,
religion was a waste of time.

Howard also cared less about others.

And while visiting in Paris,

Howard dropped to his knees in pain.

He needed surgery or he would die.

With no surgeons available,
Howard was left in a room.

Oddly, Howard found himself
looking down at his body.

Next, Howard was being
pulled out of his room.

He then realized he was going down

into the cesspool of earth.

Howard realized that he was
being processed into hell

and he knew he wasn't coming back.

(ominous music)

- When I was a senior in college
at the University of Texas,

I had a head-on collision.

(glass shattering)

This accident broke my
back in three places

and I was waiting
desperately for an ambulance.

(dark music)

Be calm, be very still,

I think that you have a very bad injury

and they're gonna need
to put you on a board

and you're gonna be taken to the ER.

And so she held my hand in those moments

and I felt as if she
was the good Samaritan

I had been waiting for.

It was terrifying.

I was agnostic at the time,

so when I think of the prayer
that I said at that moment,

it was more like a foxhole prayer.

I looked up at the sky and I
said, God, if there's a God,

help me out of this situation.

I have no control.

(eerie music)

Everything was out of my control.

What surgeon I would get,
how this would all play out.

I was 22 and had grown up poor,

so I didn't think about
getting health insurance

when I waited in that ER.

I knew my back was broken, I
had a CAT scan and several MRIs

and yet they would not
give me any painkillers

because they needed a surgeon to sign off

and say that they were
taking me into surgery.

So I was in enormous pain.

The physical pain was unbelievable

and I would scream and cry

and eventually I just ran out of energy.

And I remember saying
a lot of choice words

when I heard that this one surgeon

was not going to operate on me.

I heard nurses talking about it

and he refused to come in because he said

that he didn't want to operate on someone

who didn't have health insurance.

And that hit me so hard.

I thought, here I am trying
to struggle in this world,

trying to get to that next level

and someone doesn't care about me.

I'm just money.

(ominous music)

It terrified me.

Well, an off-duty surgeon came by.

She had been on duty for a long time

and I grabbed her arm and I said,

look, this is serious.

If I can't walk, I do not
think I will have a long life.

I'll probably kill myself.

This is horrible.

Because at that time, I
had lost feeling in my leg.

When they were touching my
toes, I could not feel them

and I knew what this meant.

I knew this meant that, you
know, my spine was compromised.

So eventually she went home, had dinner,

came back and took me into surgery.

And I remember signing that form

and it said 17% chance of death.

And I thought, that's oddly specific,

but I'm young and what does it matter?

I will sign this form
because I really hope

I come out of this surgery and can walk.

(dark music)

When I was wheeled into surgery,

the last thing I expected
was for my spirit form

to leave my body.

But at some point during that surgery,

probably midway through,
my spirit left my body

and I saw that my back was
opened up, very long incision.

I had completely
shattered T 10, 11 and 12.

They just were nonexistent.

And they were picking the bone
fragments out of my spine.

(intense music)

I was in absolute awe.

The way I describe it is I
felt like exactly like myself,

but in spirit form and
kind of above the surgeon,

so I was looking down at them
as they were working on me

and I was amazed at how
much blood there was.

That was my first thought.

It looked like something
from the Civil War.

It just looked gruesome.

And I remember thinking,
is there something wrong?

Should there be this much blood?

And yet at the same time

being an agnostic going into
surgery, I was thrilled.

I knew this consciousness

to be something that survives death.

I knew that I felt smarter, clearer,

more intense outside of body.

And then the most amazing thing happened.

There were these very large beings.

I didn't call them angels at first.

I didn't know what they were.

They were light beings
about nine feet tall,

eight, nine feet tall.

But immediately I was stunned.

I knew that they were
intelligent and powerful

and there to calm me down.

So when they sent this
light into my spirit form,

I calmed down, I felt at ease.

I knew that this spirit
form is more important

than the body that I was
observing on the table.

And they told me, though,
that I would walk.

I would be fine, everything would be okay.

And they were almost playful.

They spoke with telepathy.

These words came right at me

and the words were, watch this.

And when they said this,
they sent beams of light

through the backs of the
doctors, through their hands

and my whole spine and my whole body

lit up with this light.

And I knew this light to
be healing, intelligence,

communication and that they
were assisting the doctors.

But what amazed me was that angels

worked through the surgeons.

And I had enough of an
awareness or a knowing

to realize that the two
surgeons didn't know this.

And I realized it and I thought,
I wanna take that with me.

Maybe angels can work through me.

Maybe these beings can
work through all of us.

Maybe they do and we're not aware of it.

So that was really my first lesson

in the near death experience.

But at that moment,
the monitor flat lined.

(chattering)
(beeping)

And I have talked with
anesthesiologists later,

but I know that that's
probably a nightmare

when someone's back is opened up

and they have to be revived.

So I had this idea that
I'd have to be flipped over

and there was already so much blood

and I did not want to see that.

My spirit form knew that
it could leave the hospital

and it left the operating room

and it simply just went into a hallway.

I ended up in this hallway
where I saw my stepdad.

My mother had remarried
when I was in college

and I didn't know him that well.

I only knew him as this fastidious person

who cared a lot about health
and he would make fun of people

who ate candy or Cokes or
anything that was not healthy.

Well, I saw him at a vending
machine getting a Snickers bar

and I thought, that's funny.

Usually he only eats an
apple as a snack or carrots

and I thought maybe he has
this secret sugar addiction.

And that's all that I
thought in that moment.

- Tricia was involved in a
devastating head-on collision.

Out of desperation, she says a prayer.

She's then rushed to the hospital.

With a broken back, Tricia
waits in pain for hours

for a surgeon to operate on her.

After finding out that
Tricia had no insurance,

the surgeon refuses to operate on her.

Then, out of the grace of God,

another surgeon agrees to help her.

And with a 17% chance of death,

Tricia finally goes into surgery.

She then leaves her body

and floats above the operating theater.

All of a sudden, three giant
beings of light appear.

They tell her everything
is going to be okay

and they begin to heal her,

but then Tricia's heart
stops and she flat lines.

Becoming too unbearable to watch,

Tricia's spirit leaves the operating room.

She drifts into the hospital hall

and sees her stepfather
at a vending machine.

(eerie music)

- After I was torn apart
by the people in that place

and prayed and called out to Jesus.

(screaming) Help, help!

He came and healed me, restored
me back to my wholeness

and loved me and embraced
me and he carried me upward

like a helicopter ride.

We started moving more and more rapidly

and I knew we were traveling
at a great speed through space.

And I was trying to get
my composure together

because I was crying like
I had never cried before

out of joy of being embraced
by him and being loved by him.

And I looked up and we were headed towards

what I first thought was a galaxy

and then I realized that it
wasn't a galaxy of stars,

it was a galaxy of beings.

Very, very big.

I mean, seriously billions
and trillions and trillions

of beings coming and going
in this great center of light

and then I felt even greater
love coming from this galaxy.

And I thought to myself,
oh, that's where God is.

(spiritual music)

And I thought to myself,
He's made a terrible mistake.

I'm garbage, He should
put me back where I was.

And with that, we stopped
outside this galaxy

which I'll now refer to as heaven

and He spoke to me for the
first time telepathically

and said, we don't make mistakes.

You belong here.

The thing that is interesting
about my experience

is that when I died,

I was carrying my knowledge and perception

and experience of my body with me.

When I was with Jesus, I realized
that that was all changing

and I was becoming more like the angels

which is instead of
being opaque and heavy,

I was getting at first light-emitting

and becoming more and more transparent.

I still had the shape,

but I was beginning to see
into and through myself

and I wasn't seeing
blood vessels and nerves

and bones and sinew and tendons.

I was seeing these
wonderful colors of light.

So I was becoming a light
being like the angels were,

but most importantly, I was emitting light

not an opaque being that
only absorbed light.

I was amazed and delighted
with my expanded vision.

When I went up near heaven
and into heaven with Jesus,

something very interesting happened.

I began to see colors that
I never experienced before.

And as an artist and one
who taught color theory

like practically every
semester to the students

which is pretty simple
when you break it down.

You know, cones and rods.

The cones pick up three
different wavelengths of light

and the primary colors,
the secondary colors,

the tertiary colors.

So I'm trying to figure this
all out with all these colors

I had no name for and had
never experienced before.

And I realize that there's no way

I was going to figure it all out.

Lots and lots of beautiful colors

that I don't have words for.

And you know, the weird thing is,

when I go to the art supply
store and buy pigments

so that I can make those
colors, they don't sell them.

(chuckling)

(ominous music)

There are multidimensions.

(intense music)

And so real space travel,
the real space travel,

is moving dimensionally
from one vibratory state

into a different universe altogether.

It's not really going great distances

so much as it is moving through
different states of being

and I believe as theoretical
physicists believe

and as Jesus told me that
there's many different universes

all operating with different physical laws

and different states.

I was far away from earth but
not as we know time and space.

I was in a different plane of existence

which is both far and
close at the same time.

I know that sounds strange,

but these things do not meet

our linear understanding of time and space

which is how we operate and
it works well for us here,

but it's not the only reality.

(light music)

When Jesus took me out to
the outskirts of heaven,

he called forth a group of angels

and he said they recorded my life

and they wanted to show it to
me and we went through my life

from my birth up until before I died.

And it started off really
fun in my childhood

and then as the family
dissonance began to develop

in my early adolescence
and into my teenage years,

I withdrew emotionally
because it was very painful

to be engaged with my
family, extremely painful.

So I withdrew and became detached,

just cared about myself
for self-preservation.

They were not happy with how that all went

and not happy with how I
tried to live my mature life

which was take care of my own needs

and not worry about anybody else.

They weren't judging me,
they were just expressing

their great sorrow and disappointment.

And it felt terrible, frankly,
to be such a disappointment

to these people who had been
so kind and loving towards me,

that I had utterly failed them.

(eerie music)

When Jesus told me that I had
to come back to this world

and try and live it the
way that I had been created

in the first place to live

which is living lovingly,
kindly, compassionately,

putting other people's needs
and interests ahead of my own.

(light music)

I was willing to give that a try,

but I wanted to go to heaven

because Jesus had given
me a tour of heaven

and heaven is the most interesting,

wonderful, exciting place in the universe

because you can't begin
to describe heaven.

In fact, in truth, everything
that's good that ever was,

that ever will be and
that is is in heaven.

And that would be worth exploring

for the next billion times a
billion times a billion years.

And becoming familiar
with all that goodness

and all that love.

And of course the ultimate
centerpiece of heaven is God

and that is the goal of
every being in heaven

is to ultimately go into proximity

and complete union with God.

(light music)

Jesus having shown me
that, I thought I was ready

and he told me no, you got
to come back to this world.

We had a big argument and
he convinced me ultimately

that it would be in my best
interest to do this thing

called life in this world

and do it to the best of my ability.

- Howard was finally taken
out of that hellish place.

He was now being taken to
a much different place.

He then saw a galaxy of
beings in the distance.

Howard was then shown where God was.

He felt that God had made a mistake

and that He should have left
him in that hellish place.

Howard then noticed he
began changing form.

He was also amazed this
his new expansive vision.

He then began to see colors
that he had never seen before.

Then Howard began traveling
into multidimensions.

After getting a glimpse of heaven,

he was told that he had
to go back to earth.

(intense music)

- As I was leaving the hospital,

I was in the night sky above Austin

and it was beautiful.

I just felt so free,

the way a bird would
feel flying over the sky.

And I started feeling my
soul merge and connect

with everyone I had known

and I wanted to simply say to
everyone at the soul level,

even if it was a barista at a coffee shop

and this person had
simply handed me a coffee,

I just wanted to say, have a
great life, enjoy it, be happy,

I wish you well, I might
be leaving this place.

And it was just my way
of going, hey, I love you

and that's all there really is.

Like at that soul level,

any bitterness or any pain or anything

that we think we are attached to,

we're not attached to at that soul level.

And I realized that in that moment.

Then the night sky transitioned

into what looked like outer space.

There were a ton of stars

and I just seemed to be
floating in the universe.

I started to hear different messages

coming from a light that was far away.

I didn't feel alone or scared.

I felt free and supported.

And one of the first messages I heard was,

love is all that matters and
all that we take with us.

And again, it was communicated
in that form of telepathy,

this light simply coming through
me and connecting with me.

And I thought, okay, that's
a pretty simple message,

but the angels told me I'm coming back.

Maybe you need to give me
something a little more than that.

That may not be enough for
me to bring back to humanity.

And I heard, remind them to go to nature.

And then I heard the words,
be like a little child.

As I got closer to this light

which to me seemed like
divine intelligence, peace,

I began to know that the light wanted me

to see different parts of my life.

And my life was displayed up in the stars

in this beautiful way.

And one of the lessons about
remind them to go to nature is,

God showed me when I was a
kid and I prayed in nature.

I was raised religious.

And so I went to this briar patch

and there were a lot of rabbits

and I was maybe five years old.

And I still wondered about God.

I was that type of kid who thought,

I don't like this religion,

I don't like the idea of
children starving in Africa

and going to hell or great
Buddhist monks being judged

simply because they're not Christian.

Like my mind did not gel with that,

so I had problems with God
as a kid and my mom said,

well go pray and maybe
God will give you a sign.

I went to this briar patch

and I sat in a cross-legged position

and I was probably about
five or six, and I said,

God, I want some rabbits
to come to me if You exist.

And so I stayed there in this briar patch

and the rabbits came to me very slowly.

They were baby rabbits.

God said, that was good.

You know, that was a good moment.

You opened your heart, you
weren't afraid to pray,

you weren't afraid to be in nature,

you weren't afraid to connect.

(ominous music)

What I saw later was a moment

that embarrassed me a little bit.

I was 22 and kind of
judgmental in college.

I wasn't a bad person,

but if people didn't like the same movies

or the same documentaries

or if they didn't wear cool shoes

or they were older than me
and I was a college student,

then I really didn't have
a lot of time for them

and I wasn't very nice.

So there was a couple that I worked with

at one of the restaurants where I worked

and they were older than me, in their 30s

and they were Catholic.

And they tried to be my friend.

They were a married couple

and I just didn't have time for them.

I really blew them off

and never communicated with them at work.

And God showed me their
souls and their hearts

and how I made them sad at times.

And then God showed me,

and this makes me almost want
to cry when I talk about it,

they went home and they prayed for me,

for my health, for my wealth, for my life

and they actually cared about me

and I didn't have the time of day for them

because the shoes they wore.

And I felt like such an idiot.

I felt like this just small being

for treating other people badly,

especially when I saw how
great their souls were.

And I thought, okay, when I come back,

I will look at people in a different way.

I will not judge them
in a materialistic way.

I won't judge them by
their age or how they look.

I will look at their hearts,
I'll look at their souls,

I'll really figure out who people are.

And I wanted another chance to do that.

I wanted to be better

because that moment really hit me.

So the moments where I was
perhaps not good to myself

and drank too much, partied
too much in college,

I wasn't held to a cross for that.

It was being rude to other people

that was really what God
was saying don't do that.

Don't look at other people and judge them.

And look for the good in
this world and other people.

So that lesson was profound for me.

And then I transitioned.

After that, my spirit form
was moving towards something

which looked like heaven.

And in this space, what it
looked like to me was nature

and it looked like a holding place.

It didn't look like,

okay, now I'm transitioned
into this paradise.

This looked like a place where
you waited for something else

and that's what it felt like to me.

But the grass was very, very green.

And what stood out to me
was that nothing was dead.

Everything was 100% alive.

So you could walk out into nature

and you might see a branch
that's fallen off the tree

or a little dead part in the grass.

But all of this grass in
this place sung with joy

almost as if there was instead of wind,

it was almost as if it swayed with life.

(dark music)

Then in that place, I saw my grandfather.

He was the only person
who was dead at that time

and he's another link in
my past to the other side

because he wanted me to believe in God

and he wanted me to know that I was loved.

So when he died when I was 10,

he spent a lot of time
writing stories to me

about his life and praying
with me and talking with me

and I was his only granddaughter.

I meant a lot to him.

So when I saw him, I almost
didn't recognize him.

He looked about 35 or so.

His jaw was the same, you
know, this squared jaw.

But his eyes shone with
this beauty, this light.

He said, do you want to continue on?

And I knew that continue
on meant go toward God.

And God looked like this
bright yellow light.

And yet I was thrilled, I was excited.

I thought, there's no way,
I can't not go towards God.

I've always been an
adventurous soul in life.

I started flying towards God
and I felt people's prayers

trying to hold me back.

And the way the prayers felt,

they felt like an energy or a wind.

This energy or wind seemed to
be pulling my spirit backwards

but I broke through it.

I could hear every word
that everyone was saying.

So some prayers were full of
love and adoration and hope.

Some prayers were tormented and afraid.

I had one aunt who had lost
her daughter in a car wreck

and her daughter was in her 20s

and she was beseeching God.

(chanted whispering)

Almost screaming, saying,
God, don't do this.

You know, someone else in the
family can't lose a daughter.

It's too hard, it's too
hard, don't let Tricia die.

And she was almost commanding God.

I thought, oh, that's
silly, I'm fine over here.

You don't understand.

It'll all be better later
if I don't come back.

Because as I was getting
farther away from my body

and from that place,

I felt that I didn't want to come back

and the prayers just seemed simple to me.

That's the only way to describe it.

I just thought, oh, you don't understand.

Once you're here, you'll understand

and it's not that big of a
deal because time's relative.

And the way I looked at it
from that point of view is,

oh, soon enough you'll be here with me.

And that was the overall feeling.

So I broke through their prayers

and it just didn't matter to me.

I heard my mom's prayers,
my dad's prayers.

(ominous music)

I didn't understand love.

I had a few broken relationships

and what I understood was working
hard and being successful.

I did not understand love.

And as I got closer to that light of God,

for the first time, I felt okay.

It's so hard to describe,

but what I felt was, oh, I can breathe.

I can just be at peace.

I can be safe.

There's no one here who's gonna harm me.

There's no one here who's
going to say something

that's gonna hurt me soul.

I'm loved, I'm okay exactly the way I am.

In fact, I'm better than okay.

I'm amazing the way I am
and God loves me so much.

(light music)

That love is shocking.

You just can't believe how good it is.

And that's how my soul felt.

I never wanted to return.

I wanted to feel more
and more of that energy

and God's love was like
an atomic bomb of energy.

And I started to feel different.

I started to feel, like, more
expanded, larger than I was.

I started to feel at peace

and I wanted to go closer
and closer and closer to God.

At that point in my near-death experience,

I did not want to return.

That love was better than
any romantic feeling,

any parental love I had ever experienced.

It was perfect.

It was perfection.

And in that place, as I tried
to go a little bit further,

I hit a wall or a barrier.

Many near-death experiencers
talk about this.

There's a place where
you're stopped at some point

and at this stopping point,
God's voice boomed through me

and it's a very powerful voice.

I don't know if it's
masculine or feminine,

but it just is a powerful, booming voice.

And God said, look down.

And then it's as if
from this vantage point

I was looking down to earth
and I saw all these souls

and I knew that they were souls

even though they were encased in bodies

and they were walking
along a particular river.

And God said, look at them.

And some of them were composed of light

and some of them had darkness around them.

In that place, I understood the darkness

to simply mean fear, depression, anger,

anything that blocks us from God.

It didn't look terrifying.

I didn't think about the fact

that people from a place of darkness

can commit acts of horror and crimes.

I didn't think about that.

I just thought, there's
a little bit of darkness

and they just need to be reminded of God.

It looked simple,

like my only purpose was to go back there

and remind people that they
can be connected to God.

And then God said something
that disturbed me.

And then God said something
that disturbed me.

God said I was going to go back to earth

and I was going to work as a teacher,

not necessarily as a spiritual teacher

but as an actual teacher.

(eerie music)

All this light that I had been,

this expansive, beautiful light,

it was as if it was crumpled
up into a ball and thrown

as if you would throw a
baseball or a softball

and I was hurling through time, space,

back towards my physical form.

(intense music)

I was enveloped in this darkness

and it was terrifying in many ways

to experience beauty like that

and then to be forced back
into a very painful body.

(light music)

- Tricia meets her deceased grandfather.

She notices that he's much
younger than when he had passed.

He asked her if she would like to stay.

And with that thought,
she went toward God.

But then Tricia noticed
her loved ones prayers

were holding her back.

But Tricia didn't want to go back.

She had an overall feeling

that they would all be
together soon enough.

Tricia was also experiencing
a love that was unlike any

she had ever felt on earth.

She loved the feeling
of her newfound freedom.

Tricia then talks about
feeling her soul's expansion.

God then told her to look at the darkness

some souls have on earth.

She was then told that she
had to go back to earth

and was thrusted back into her body.

(dark music)

- No transition.

I was back in the body, back
in the bed, back in the pain

and immediately a nurse
came into the room.

This was now nine o' clock
at night, approximately,

you know, 10 hours or
so from when this began.

And she said a doctor has
arrived at the hospital

on Saturday night and I'm
gonna have the surgery

and they prepped me for surgery

and I had the surgery at
10 o' clock that night.

I wanted to tell my wife
what had happened to me.

The Sunday morning, the very
day that I had the surgery

'cause the surgery went
into Sunday morning,

and I tried to tell her things

and she did not want to hear it.

Every day thereafter,
I would tell her things

and then she would tell me
to stop talking about it,

she told me it didn't happen, get over it,

it was just a dream,
it never happened, etc.

And I would tell her no,
no, no, this happened

and Jesus said this and Jesus did that.

And, you know, God wants us, etc.

And she didn't like it.

After my experience,

I became more and more
committed to telling everybody.

So when the cleaning lady
came into my hospital room,

I was in the hospital for several months.

I came back to the US
and was very, very sick

on death's door for months.

And anyways, anybody
that came into the room,

nurses, doctors, cleaning people,

respiratory therapists, whatever,

I would tell them about Jesus and God

and heaven and hell and stuff like that.

And I found out several years
later from one of the nurses

that I was the laughing
stock of the hospital

and I was getting visitors
from all over the hospital

because I was the crazy
person on the third floor

of the southwest wing of that hospital.

But I knew that they were laughing at me,

but I'd tell them anyways.

After many months, I was
losing my wife, my kids.

Nobody was visiting me.

People that came to visit me
and I gave my testimony to

never came back.

I realized that I had to
stop forcing it on people.

So my policy ever since then has been,

I don't tell my story
unless people ask about it.

After the experience,

I had the ability basically all the time

to see into what's called
the supernatural world.

I could see demons

and I could see angels.

I could feel people's
feelings empathetically

to a very intense degree

and sometimes I could actually
kind of hear their thoughts.

And I was also getting glimpses of things

that were going to happen in the future.

It was all quite overwhelming

and much of that I prayed
to God to take away from me

after several months of that

because I was not
connecting with this world.

It was weird because
I kind of had one foot

in the supernatural world
and one foot in this world

and it was really bad for my interactions

with the people that I was around.

(light music)
(birds chirping)

Ever since I came back into this world,

I've tried to be kinder, more
compassionate and more loving.

I think that it's God's plan for everybody

that we love God with all our
heart, mind soul and strength

and love our neighbor as ourself

and I'm trying to live up to
that and I fail all the time.

I try to examine what I've done

and pray that I'm forgiven for when I fail

or don't live up to what God expects of me

and I know that it pleases God

when I make my own simple
little opportunities

to make this world a better place

by being kind and
compassionate and loving.

And so that's it in a nutshell

is I want to live a life pleasing to God

which is to love.

(light music)

- Howard was back in his body.

He wanted to tell his wife,
but it fell on deaf ears.

Howard felt committed

to telling everyone about his experience.

He then became the laughing
stock of the hospital.

Howard then began losing
his wife and his kids.

He then realized he had to
stop forcing it on people.

Feeling overwhelmed,

Howard asked God to
stop his new abilities.

Howard had then done a 180

and became a kinder, loving person.

(ominous music)

(light music)

- I was conscious about the time

they were asking me to say my name

and to swallow a few ice chips.

And I could not say my actual name.

I remember saying, yes,
yes, I remember her name,

her name is Tricia.

And they said, no, that's your name,

so you need to say what your name is.

And I refused for a little bit

and the nurse was confused as
to why I was arguing with her

but I felt as if my consciousness
was greater than this form

and to come back to me was disappointing.

I didn't feel grateful at first.

I felt disappointed that I had experienced

all of that expansiveness,

all of that bliss, all of that beauty

and now I had to be me and
walk through this life as me

with my particular upbringing,
my traumas, my pain,

my memories of life on this earth,

and yet bring in that
consciousness of the other side,

so eventually I relented
and said, okay, I'm Tricia.

In the ER, I was constantly
pulling nurses aside

asking them if they knew God.

Many of them were religious and they said,

yes, I pray, I believe in God.

But then I knew I was
interacting with people in a way

that they didn't fully understand.

I would tell the nurses, oh,
God's this amazing energy.

It's so amazing, I was just
there, I got to meet God

and God filled me with all this love.

And I would see people backing
away and saying, you know,

different things about
me, even my own family.

I was very different
from that point forward.

I look back at my life

and who I was at 22 before that accident.

I was very contained and
fearful within my own body

and I kept a lot of people away from me

with that exterior that I had.

After that near-death
experience, I was like a child.

I was bubbly and joyful
and grateful for every step

that I took on this planet

and grateful for every
bite of food that I had.

I felt this enormous optimism.

(light music)
(birds chirping)

When I was there in that
realm, it seemed as if

everybody would just be
there in a few seconds.

Or it could be many years,
but it seemed that soon.

It seemed as if life would
just complete very quickly.

It was a grain of sand over there

because time had been
going on for so long.

There had possibly been
many lives that I had lived

and others had lived.

And it was just, from the
beginning, it looked like theater,

like this looked like
a theater production.

That was my first thought

when my spirit form stepped out of body

is I thought, this is the reality

and this physical thing that
we take all too seriously,

it's not that important.

This spirit is what is important.

This is what's eternal.

This is what goes on.

This is what matters and how do we forget?

How do we deny that it
even exists as I had?

I denied that there was this possibility.

I denied my own soul until I
experienced it in that realm

and that was part of what blew me away

is how seriously we take this

and how we don't take the
spiritual realm seriously enough.

- Tricia refused to call herself by name.

Finally, she gave in and
identified herself as Tricia.

Tricia wanted to tell everyone

in the hospital about her experience.

She quickly noticed how
this fell on deaf ears.

Tricia was a different
person after the experience.

She had a renewed sense of optimism,

almost like a childlike way about her.

I asked Tricia,

why is it that people
that have experienced this

seem to not be worried about
their loved ones back on earth?

She said it's like an understanding

that we'll all be together
again in an instant.

She went on to add that time is a thing

that we humans refer to.

She also referred to life as theater,

where we play roles like on a stage.

She continued on to say

that this isn't the
importance we think it is,

that the spirit world is
what is truly important.

My four guests have seen things

that I believe we may
have forgotten about.

A core theme that resonated with my guests

was how we treat others
during this incarnation.

Rich, poor, smart or illiterate,

it seems to be irrelevant.

What is important is the way we acted.

Now this performance is
reflected in our life review

right after we transition.

What really is the life review?

To me, it's an accurate
record of how we reacted

to the situations in our life,

an opportunity to see
where we can improve.

This is Craig McMahon saying goodbye

and that love is all that matters.

Until we meet again.

(bright music)

(powerful music)
(thunder roaring)