All language subtitles for COBRA.2020.S02E05

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,240 The following programme contains strong language. 2 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:15,040 Right now from every direction we are facing a different storm. 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,960 Who are these people, Fraser? 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,120 Mods. That's Audrey Hemmings' brother. 5 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,000 Of course, people are angry. 6 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,000 After what we heard last week about the cyber-attack, 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,880 it is clear that this country is under systematic assault. 8 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,760 Firestorm. 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,040 I want to know who it is, and how we stop it. 10 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,080 WHO IS YOUR HANDLER? 11 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,080 You wanted a shortlist of my preferred candidates. 12 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,640 I don't see the problem. 13 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,320 Except for all of them being on the hard right of the hard right. 14 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,480 And Roger Hawkins? 15 00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,320 We need to hold the seat, and I trust Robert's judgement. 16 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,320 My job is to make sure you make the best possible decision. 17 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,880 Well, maybe that's something overdue for reappraisal. 18 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,160 This assault on me isn't happening by unfortunate circumstances. 19 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,480 It's your job they're trying to capsize. 20 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,440 As long as Firestorm is spewing its poison, 21 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,160 this government will not tolerate that. 22 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,000 Well, that's one fire snuffed out. 23 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,040 Or have we stoked it? 24 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:12,640 'A firestorm is caused by baskets of incendiaries and not a single bomb. 25 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:18,480 Neither the silencing of a lone patriot, 26 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,080 nor the disappearance of one truth-telling journalist 27 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,200 will stop the flames of truth from spreading. 28 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,560 Water may douse the flames, but who controls the water? 29 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,880 Think before you drink.' 30 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:37,240 Oh, my God, she has made me sound like a complete and utter idiot. 31 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,200 Well, I'm sure it's just - 32 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:42,040 "Seemingly cloth-eared to current debates 33 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,200 on privilege and racial justice. 34 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,280 She moans about the size of the Downing Street flat 35 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,640 and claims that her infamous comment that posh, white girls 36 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,720 do not belong in prison was not understood in context." 37 00:01:55,160 --> 00:02:00,280 I made a joke about the flat because the cameraman banged his head... 38 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:02,600 Come on, it's just...newspapers. 39 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:06,160 It's an absolute bloody disaster. 40 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,600 Look, er... Firestorm is back. 41 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,160 I have to go. 42 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,720 Well, are they messing with our water now? 43 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,920 Fraser is looking into it, Prime Minister. 44 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,000 And who snatched Hari Misra? 45 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,520 Ask the people he pissed off with - his scoops. - Including us? 46 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,320 Contrary to popular myth, 47 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,880 and social media - Maybe my wife's had him snatched 48 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,800 and is overseeing his torture somewhere. 49 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,480 That's what they're saying, I imagine. 50 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,480 Misra's recent output certainly means the finger will point at us. 51 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,200 And you're sure that wasn't your objective as well? 52 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:53,960 A little strategic own-goal. 53 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,640 Because I'm a bit doubtful as to whose side anyone is on. 54 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,560 We have done nothing to Hari Misra. 55 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,400 Not to make you look bad, or for any other reason. 56 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,160 We failed to pick him up, and even if we had got there first, 57 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,760 we don't have an assassination programme, 58 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,480 as you know perfectly well. 59 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,640 Well, I'm beginning to question the merits of that. 60 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,880 - Especially with journalists. - We can announce a change of policy 61 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,760 on the Number 10 Twitter feed, if you like? 62 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,160 OK, keep me informed. 63 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,120 Thanks. Problems with the water down in Kent. 64 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,360 Oh, yeah, my brother mentioned that to me. 65 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,160 Been on and off for a while now, but the water company's saying 66 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,000 the pressure is completely normal. 67 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,320 Now there's stuff all over social media saying it isn't safe to drink. 68 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:42,120 Really? Do you think it might be another... 69 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,320 Water systems would be a prime target for a cyber-attack. 70 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,680 I'll speak to the intelligence chief. 71 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,280 They haven't flagged any malware in the system yet. 72 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:56,880 We are clearly under attack from a coalition of powerful state actors. 73 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,600 And they seem to be taking turns to occupy the driving seat. 74 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,800 The Foreign Secretary is not wrong, but first things first. 75 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,520 My counterpart at the American Embassy 76 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:09,920 has assured me that the Misra story 77 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,040 we intercepted from his computer about their involvement 78 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,840 in the ship explosion in Kent was fake news planted by the Chinese. 79 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,680 And what do you think? 80 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,800 We're still looking at the evidence. 81 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:25,200 Well, early evidence suggests that something odd went on down there. 82 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,080 Fraser mentioned some kind of sonic event. 83 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,840 Tensions are very high between the Yanks and the Chinese at the moment. 84 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,720 But would the Americans really... 85 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,160 Well, not deliberately. 86 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,760 But they could have been making a point to the Chinese 87 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,520 about their underwater capacities 88 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,920 with everything so on edge in the South China Sea. 89 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,000 And they did make it very clear 90 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,960 that they were unhappy with the drilling permissions 91 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,440 that we granted to the Jiayou Corporation. 92 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,880 I want reprisals. 93 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,360 Against the Americans? 94 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,000 No, not them for now until the facts are clearer. 95 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,120 But identify some targets from the other two 96 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,200 who we know are behind Ruin - Britannia. - The problem with that - 97 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:12,200 I know the problems. Keep it largely symbolic but not entirely pain-free. 98 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:16,360 A few surgical strikes that will make both Russia and China jump. 99 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,520 A central bank, TV network... use your imagination. 100 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,000 I am not going to sit here and take this. 101 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,880 Did you ask the government about Hari Misra? 102 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,040 Yeah, they claim they don't know anything. 103 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,760 Maybe they don't. 104 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:04,200 Right, I will say a few words, announce your candidacy 105 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,320 and then hand over to you. What's all this about? 106 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,480 No idea. What's wrong with the tap water? 107 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,440 Nothing, as far as I know. What's a quantum algorithm? 108 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,520 No idea. 109 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:16,960 But I do know that you can put the word "quantum" 110 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,200 in front of any old bullshit and all of a sudden it looks high status. 111 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,880 Any chance of a photo? 112 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,560 Good morning, everybody, thank you for coming. 113 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,680 As you can see, with me is Francine Bridge. 114 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,640 We'll take a few questions, maybe five minutes, 115 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:34,480 and then we really will have to move on. 116 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,720 But I really appreciate you coming. Over to Francine. 117 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:57,560 Hey! 118 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,400 Who's drunk all the water? 119 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,200 There's water in the kettle still. 120 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,680 You know I'm not drinking that. 121 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:14,240 You don't believe all that crap that they're poisoning us with equations, 122 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,720 - do you? - Algorithms. Lin says it's actually quite dangerous.. 123 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,160 Lin listens to Michael Buble, refused to get her kids vaccinated, 124 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,400 and is voting for that racist nonce. 125 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:27,320 She's also my best mate and Danny's godmother, so... 126 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,960 I'm gonna go and get some bottled stuff, just so we're sure. 127 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,880 Bring me back a KitKat, then. 128 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,840 Shut up, Kit-Kat. You're meant to be on a diet. 129 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,800 I've got a naturally high metabolism. 130 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,000 I don't need to diet. Ohh. 131 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,480 Be nice to be able to see your cock - again, though, right? - You tell me. 132 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,880 It fell off last week through lack of use. 133 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,640 Danny! Gonna go to the shops? 134 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,720 Are you really gonna drink that? 135 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,920 Yeah. 136 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,280 You're an idiot. 137 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,800 Don't be a mean old Jezebel. Get me a Kit-Kat! 138 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,160 Yeah, yeah. Danny! I'm coming! 139 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,560 'First they came with their pills and vaccinations. 140 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,680 Now it's the water. 141 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:22,520 why was the water supply suspended for emergency work on the water - ' 142 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,640 To carry out emergency work on a water main? 143 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,880 'And why has the pressure been so weird recently?' 144 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,120 Probably because someone's using buried malware to manipulate it. 145 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,480 They are making the data in the water plants 146 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,360 look normal to the technicians 147 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,680 while lowering the pressure to consumers. 148 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,400 Going for a slow drip rather than a drought, 149 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,160 which is even more frustrating. 150 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,560 As any man over 50 knows. 151 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,080 No coincidence, I suppose, they've chosen an area 152 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,000 where a bitter election is taking place? 153 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,880 Well, what's worrying me 154 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,880 is that they've teamed up to hit back 155 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,440 for this week's symbolic reprisals. 156 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,000 Ganging up and showing off? 157 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,800 Player One - world leaders in sophisticated malware. 158 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,920 Player Two - world leaders in misinformation and chaos. 159 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,120 Others turning the chips in their pockets, 160 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,400 waiting for the next spin of the wheel. 161 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,360 Why did it start, though? 162 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,720 Because that's what happens when you have the weapons, 163 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,840 and the conditions are right. 164 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:24,960 Spark becomes flame becomes inferno. 165 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,800 First World War could have been Prussian railway timetables. 166 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,400 On a happier note... 167 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,560 you know how scientists have developed weapons 168 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:39,360 that can immobilise you purely through a vile stench? 169 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,720 I am familiar with the concept. 170 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,040 They would struggle to find one that has as an impact 171 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,200 as strong as our new candidate from Kent has 172 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:54,080 on Anna Marshall's delicate little schnoz. 173 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,600 Have you ever actually been to Kent? 174 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,960 As opposed to figuratively? 175 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,760 Of course, I've actually been to Kent. 176 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,840 I'm not talking about a pint of prawns in Deal. 177 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,960 I'm talking about Medway towns where the real people live. 178 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,880 Oh, bad news, Deal residents, you don't actually exist. 179 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:10,520 OK, I think it's a given that you two 180 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:13,280 aren't gonna be sharing a picnic hamper at Glyndebourne. 181 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,680 Can we just focus on the issues in hand? 182 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:17,480 Good call. 183 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,760 The opposition will attack us, if they have any sense, 184 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:21,760 on the housing issue. 185 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:25,280 Plus the water issue which has suddenly emerged from nowhere. 186 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,840 I'm not going to talk about housing plans or water. 187 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:32,240 You didn't put me in this seat to fight clean, and you know it. 188 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,280 So stop being hypocrites. 189 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:38,880 You put me in it to defeat a resurgent opposition 190 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,240 from winning a seat you can ill-afford to lose. 191 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,640 This election is going to be about one thing for me, 192 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:49,840 and that is stopping Francine Bridge from representing 193 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,400 a constituency totally at odds with her values. 194 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:56,320 Which values are those, then? Oh, what, you don't know? 195 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:59,160 Mimsy, lefty. Feminine? 196 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,920 Chuck it in if you like, Archie, 197 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,840 but I'll be appealing to the female vote. 198 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,120 One of the big mistakes you make is to assume 199 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,280 that everybody agrees with your values when it's just a handful 200 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:14,760 of media luvvies posting photos of their negronis on Instagram. 201 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,720 Negronis! 202 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,160 It's all about the Skinny Bitches now, Roger. 203 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:23,160 They had an open goal, but they gambled with her selection. 204 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,040 Fresh lime, not cordial, obvs - Anna. 205 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,920 They're so desperate to get her back into Parliament, 206 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,080 it could be their undoing. 207 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:34,520 She's gonna be soft on all kinds of issues, 208 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:38,320 which I intend to hit her with again and again and again. 209 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,840 And that's how we're gonna win that seat. 210 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,880 Don't make it about race, Roger. 211 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,000 Do not target that. Don't worry, Joseph, 212 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:46,800 I have no intention of doing so. 213 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,440 I won't need to. 214 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,840 Oh, hi, Rachel. Hi, Anna. I just... 215 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,560 Don't dwell on it. 216 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,320 She made me look like a complete idiot. I trusted her. 217 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,160 OK. Beginner's error. 218 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,480 It's happened to us all. 219 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,960 I did an interview once. They used everything I said, 220 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,480 but made me look like a simpering idiot. 221 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,360 Which I'm not. 222 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,760 Every joke, every suggestion of irony. I'm funny, Anna! 223 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,800 I know, you're a hoot. 224 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,000 I'm a harpy, a racist... 225 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,720 ..the wicked witch pulling her husband's strings, 226 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,040 when everybody knows that's you. 227 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,360 You'd be surprised. 228 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,120 Well, he is a bit jealous, isn't he? 229 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,480 Of whom? Francine Bridge. 230 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,240 He... He worries you prefer her to Hawkins. 231 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,480 Newsflash. I do. 232 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,280 Yeah, but to Rob that's like saying you prefer her to him. 233 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,520 That's ridiculous. 234 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,880 Listen, don't worry about the response to the article. 235 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,800 Well, I'm just never going to be enough. 236 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,880 You know, the way I dress, the way I speak, 237 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,960 my body, the fact that I'm Jewish. 238 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,720 Yeah, Jewish lawyer, to boot. 239 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,160 Come on, you must be pulling strings somewhere. 240 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,720 Well, I had a Ukrainian oligarch murdered to spare my blushes 241 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,400 over some bullshit that wasn't even my fault, 242 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,560 so, you know, join the dots, sheeple. 243 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,400 Maybe you need a break, or something. 244 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,680 I don't know, go and visit Ellie? 245 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,320 I don't think I can live in this bloody flat for much longer. 246 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,480 Well, it's little more than a matchbox, after all. 247 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:54,240 I literally feel like I'm going insane. 248 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:58,760 - Talk to Robert. - I can't. He's got too much on his plate. 249 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,120 Talk to him, though. It's not fair what they're doing to you. 250 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,720 Thank you, thank you. Thank you. 251 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,800 Thank you. Thanks. 252 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,000 I'm gonna ask you a personal question, so don't be offended, 253 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,280 but anything happening between you and Misra? 254 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,120 No. 255 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,920 Had to ask. 256 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,160 But something really bad's happened, Chris. 257 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,840 The fire at his office, his disappearance, I just... 258 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,240 Get back to London! Poisoning our water! 259 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,280 Ah, it's like Burnley-on-Sea. 260 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,840 Spoken like a true woman of the people. 261 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,840 They're having a hard time deciding if I'm a metropolitan elitist, 262 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,040 or a Moss Side drug dealer. Bit of both, I'd say. 263 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,480 Chorlton, mate - creative hub of Manchester. 264 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,880 There's a very ugly mood in this town. 265 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,920 And it's only going to get worse. 266 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,560 Yes. 267 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:00,160 I'm afraid I have some disturbing news, 268 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,120 linked to the water in Kent, Prime Minister. 269 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:05,160 And I was on such a winning streak. 270 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,720 A child in Rochester called Simon Drake 271 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,160 has developed amoebic meningitis. 272 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,480 And that's different from erm — 273 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,840 It's caused by a bacteria called Naegleria fowleri 274 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,040 that attacks the brain and is almost always fatal. 275 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,040 How did he catch it? 276 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,920 Well, you normally get it by breathing contaminated water 277 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,680 through the nose. 278 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,080 And had he? They're investigating. 279 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,800 It's very rare especially in the UK. 280 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,840 They wouldn't - It could be a coincidence. 281 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,120 But it's been picked up on by the trolls and the bots, 282 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,440 and they're exploiting it to maximum effect. 283 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,280 Prepare the COBRA room. 284 00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,640 'First the ship. Now the water supply. 285 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,840 Children are dying for this government's experiments. 286 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,880 Luckily, we will soon have an opportunity 287 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:08,000 to tell them what we think of them at the polls. 288 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:12,080 Justice for Simon. Vote nobody.' 289 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,120 What's that symbol they use? 290 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:17,120 It's similar to an image used by a Chilean fascist group 291 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,840 called Patria y Libertad in the 1970s, but they're long gone. 292 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,840 - Chile? - I recently reviewed Ellie's security. 293 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,440 How is the child doing? 294 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,280 ICU. Very poorly. 295 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,720 What's the water company saying? That the water is completely safe, 296 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,200 but that if people are worried, to boil it and avoid inhaling it. 297 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,160 Who inhales water? Showers etcetera. 298 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,560 The bacteria can't actually be spread by drinking 299 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,560 because the stomach acid neutralises it. 300 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,320 Let me get this straight. 301 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,360 First, they fooled around with the water supply. 302 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,480 Then they started a blizzard of rumours. 303 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,840 And now they are telling people not to vote in the election. 304 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,960 Get our bloody candidate to drink a big glass of water. 305 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,920 Now, there's a win-win scenario. 306 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,880 I'll get down there as soon as I can. 307 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,640 Is that such a good idea? 308 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,720 It worked for the solar storm. We can't run from it. 309 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,400 As Mussolini discovered from the wrong end of a meat hook. 310 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,800 Enough with the wisecracks and smart-alec replies. 311 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,720 Does anybody see what is happening? We do - 312 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,600 It is one thing after another. Death by a thousand cuts. 313 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,680 They're not even asking for anything. 314 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,880 It is like we've just become a fucking game board for them. 315 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,120 That's exactly what it's like, Prime Minister. 316 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,880 Problem is, now that it's started... 317 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,880 ..I'm not sure anyone knows how this game ends. 318 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,320 Yeah, well, I'm not going to hide behind a bunch of useless pawns. 319 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,280 Hit back hard. 320 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,560 We've just done that. Then try again. Harder. 321 00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:25,880 It's like bloody Nuremburg down this close. 322 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,000 All these swastika things. 323 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,120 Nobody round here's gonna vote. 324 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,920 I am. Good. 325 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,560 A kid's dying because of what they're doing to the water. 326 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,240 There's one case. 327 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,040 Believe what you want to believe. 328 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,080 I've got more beliefs in case you're interested. 329 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:45,440 Vaccinations are a triumph of medical science. 330 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,240 Our dad died before one had a chance to save him. 331 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,680 And there's nothing in the water apart from hydrogen, oxygen 332 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,320 and a little bit of fluoride to stop your teeth from falling out. 333 00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:56,480 I'm not interested, Audrey. 334 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,600 Just cos you went to college... 335 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,800 Yeah, I did go to college, Tina, yeah. 336 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,880 My dad wasn't a moron, and he thought education was a good thing. 337 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,240 I'm proud I went to college, actually, to stop me turning 338 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:10,680 into some two-bob, conspiracy-peddling... 339 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,920 Well, go on, love, say it. 340 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,960 I know what you've always thought of me. 341 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,920 ..muppet. 342 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,760 You stuck-up little cow. 343 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,960 And give it a rest about your dad, 344 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,080 like he's the only person who ever died, 345 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:28,040 and you're the only person who cares. 346 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,040 Fuck you. 347 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,720 'A lot of people think like she does.' 348 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,480 Can you blame them, with this lot in power? 349 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,600 The boat going up all of a sudden, and now this shit with the water? 350 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,640 There is no shit with the water. 351 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,160 Something's going on. How did that kid get that Nigeria... 352 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,080 Naegleria fowleri. 353 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:55,360 I don't know, Cary. Maybe he jumped off a lock 354 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,560 into a filthy canal like you always did when you were 15. 355 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,720 Remember that kid who ripped his bollocks off 356 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,680 on the submerged bicycle? 357 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:04,600 God. Was that actually true, 358 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,840 or did they just say it to scare us? I don't know. 359 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,360 Worked, though. Well, there you are, then. 360 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,320 Oh. Hello. 361 00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,520 Are you from the local Labour Party? Thank you. 362 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,480 Cheers. 363 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,760 What do you think? 364 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,400 Yeah, I think she'll win. 365 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,040 She's got a better smile than that Tory doughnut. 366 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,800 You just fancy her. 367 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,360 I'm not gonna lie, I've got - the raging horn, mate. - Oh! 368 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,920 Eurgh, disgusting. 369 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,480 You sure there's nothing up with the water? 370 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:42,440 The water is safe. That's my department, I really would know. 371 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,440 Tina's just worried. She's got a big heart. 372 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,880 That's all. And that kid with all them tubes has really upset her. 373 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:53,640 OK. OK. 374 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,960 Big-hearted muppet. 375 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,280 Oh, here comes a Tory muppet. Good evening, Sir. 376 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,880 Reckon I can keep these bastards here for an hour at least. 377 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:07,040 So, I'm very undecided in this election, and I was wondering if... 378 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,440 Mr Hawkins, do you think that water in Kent is safe to drink? 379 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,000 I've been assured that it is. 380 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,840 That's not the same as saying it actually is. 381 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,520 We're all assured that it is. 382 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,400 Francine Bridge made a categoric statement - 383 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,760 Well, to be fair, it's probably cleaner 384 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,520 than the water where she comes from. 385 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,000 Hard as nails, that water in the inner cities. 386 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,720 I doubt she's even tasted our Kent water. 387 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:36,000 Cheers. 388 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,720 He said what? 389 00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,000 No, tell me exactly. 390 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,800 Right. I'll raise it directly with the PM. 391 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,320 Drinking unclean water is an obvious trope 392 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,800 that she's not really British. Yes, but he said - 393 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,080 Oh, come on, Robert. 394 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:01,200 One thing to be an opportunist, quite another to be wilfully dense. 395 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,920 Wilfully what? This is an absolute disgrace. 396 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:06,760 It's clear enough what he was doing there. 397 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,960 It's completely unacceptable. Also, 398 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,840 what's with "I'm assured the water is safe to drink"? 399 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,520 OK. 400 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,760 - OK, what? - Ok, point taken. Point taken, and what? 401 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,320 We'll make sure he doesn't overstep the mark like that again. 402 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:21,760 That's it? 403 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,320 If you book a ride on a tiger, you can't complain about its stripes. 404 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:26,480 I don't believe this. 405 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,120 I can't believe you don't have a problem -Don't go there, Anna. 406 00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,880 I don't take kindly to lectures 407 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,680 about what my reaction should be to anything. 408 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,960 The fact is, this is a hard fight, 409 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,520 and he's our dog. Our dog whistle, you mean. 410 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,600 He's fighting a battle based on social conservatism. 411 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,600 I agree with much of that. 412 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,080 I don't support the identity extremists either, 413 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:47,200 but where he crosses the line, we rein him in. 414 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,440 I would say he is over the line, 415 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,920 but still in earshot. Bollocks. 416 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,960 And that's what passes for debate at St Paul's, is it? 417 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,600 Oh, spare me the self-made, salt-of-the-earth patter, Joseph. 418 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,520 Keep the speech about your hardworking mum for party conference. 419 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,440 A bit envious 420 00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,760 cos I actually have an audience bigger than one? 421 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,480 Joseph, could you excuse us for a moment? 422 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,400 Sure. 423 00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,200 How much of this is because it's Francine? 424 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:34,840 What? How much would you be complaining 425 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,560 if it wasn't your friend? 426 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,240 Because I think you'd rather see her back in Parliament 427 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,160 than our candidate. 428 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,200 In fact, if you lived in Kent, 429 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,600 I suspect you'd secretly vote for her as well. 430 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,840 It's been well established that I don't live in Kent, 431 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,080 I live in a box at the opera, sneering at the proletariat 432 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:56,800 with the rest of the toffee-nosed crew. 433 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,640 This is so totally not the issue. 434 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,120 Isn't it? 435 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:03,760 We cannot lose this seat, Anna, not now. 436 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,200 We're living through some crazy undeclared war 437 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,440 where we don't even know what the enemy wants. 438 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,120 The whole country is bubbling with rumours 439 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,000 and suspicions fed by an internet 440 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,760 that we cannot even begin to compete with. 441 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:19,480 So, I'm sorry, I'm really fucking sorry, if your liberal sensibilities 442 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,040 have been offended by a heat-of-the-battle remark 443 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:23,880 about your precious little friend. 444 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,640 But this is politics. It's tough. And it's going to get tougher. 445 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,560 They were your sensibilities once, Robert. 446 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,960 Tough shit. This is now. 447 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:32,800 If you can't get in line with that... 448 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:34,720 Then, what? 449 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,360 Then, what? 450 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,280 Hello, Anna. 451 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:57,400 He's died. 452 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:22,360 Lin! 453 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,200 Don't bother going in, Tina. 454 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,240 There's none left. 455 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,840 You can have a couple of bottles of mine. 456 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:35,880 Are you OK? Yeah, thanks. 457 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,360 I'm still drinking tap water as you can probably tell by my lizard tail. 458 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,400 Oh, same old Cary. Everything's a joke. 459 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,520 Same old Linda. Believe any old shit she reads on the World Wide Web. 460 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,120 There are kids dying, Cary. 461 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,880 One kid has died. And that makes it OK? 462 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:51,440 Course it's not OK. But we weren't always this crazy. 463 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,320 What the hell are we all coming to? 464 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,600 Come on, let's go. 465 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,560 'He's not in a good place.' 466 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,000 I've never seen him so paranoid. 467 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,040 Or tetchy. 468 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,160 His wife? 469 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,280 Both his marriages are looking shaky. 470 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,800 So... 471 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,360 I have been speaking to my equivalent at the American Embassy. 472 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,160 The imagination boggles. What's he like? 473 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:26,520 She is a female John Bolton who also has a PhD in geopolitical balancing. 474 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,520 The Americans are very keen we don't escalate things further. 475 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,400 Maybe we should blow up half of Kentucky in revenge. 476 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:37,000 Things are extremely delicate in the South China Sea. 477 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:40,080 They think Beijing is about to make a big, aggressive move. 478 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:43,040 And you think this might be connected to all that? 479 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,360 I don't know. 480 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:49,600 But I think a cyber war on a weak country might not even be connected 481 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,040 to any specific thing we did or could control. 482 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,320 And that's the terrifying part. 483 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:57,160 We are not weak. 484 00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:03,160 We are significant, but not sovereign. 485 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,960 In their eyes, sovereign is being able to survive 486 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,480 without a bigger boy looking after you. And we can't. 487 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,560 Hmm. Better go and eat worms? 488 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,200 This water situation is terrifying. 489 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,680 That they can confect such panic out of nothing. 490 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,080 The kid died. One kid, though. 491 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,800 And God knows how he actually got it. 492 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:32,920 The rest is all smoke and mirrors. 493 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:38,600 We think an outsourced rogue nation hit the water supply, 494 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,600 and a Russian hand is pulling the Firestorm strings. 495 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,880 Hmph. If we are on our own, 496 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:46,960 attacked by all sides now... 497 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,640 ..we need a strong figure on the bridge, 498 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,200 not someone beset by paranoia. 499 00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,600 - You never fall out with him. - I mean, we squabble a bit but not like this. 500 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,400 Not when he threatens to... 501 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,720 How's everything else? 502 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,800 Everything else. 503 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:12,760 Well... 504 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,440 hot flushes. 505 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:21,080 Ah. Absolute torment. 506 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,360 They should call it something far worse. 507 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,760 But even that's not the main thing. 508 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,720 What's the main thing? 509 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,160 This just isn't how I thought I would get old. 510 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:51,440 I thought it would be graceful. 511 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:55,040 Dignified. 512 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,600 They keep... 513 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,520 ..mocking me for being this sneering... 514 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,520 elitist Brahmin, and I.. 515 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,800 I sometimes feel as if I am looking at myself 516 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,160 and thinking, "The absolute state of you, love." 517 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,240 Now Robert says I would rather you were elected than our candidate, 518 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,040 and you know what? He's right? 519 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,680 You would. I mean, good. 520 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,040 Because Roger Hawkins is a weapons-grade prick. 521 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,040 A prick that might lead to me losing my job. 522 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:40,360 Come and work for me, then. 523 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,160 I saw this thing. 524 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,160 It said that Joseph Obasi was gonna be the first black Prime Minister. 525 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,680 Yeah, he's a piece of work, too. 526 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,400 He is what he is. But I thought, "Not on my watch, mate." 527 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,360 I'm taking this all the way. 528 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,880 First black Prime Minister isn't going to be a man. 529 00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,960 Just one problem. Mm? 530 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,200 You've got to get your party to accept a woman as leader first. 531 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,520 You asked me to come and work for you once. 532 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,840 "Change your life, Anna. 533 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,720 That party doesn't have room for people like you anymore. 534 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,840 Come and work with me." 535 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,120 'Do not say you were not warned. 536 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,880 They are poisoning the children with modified water. 537 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,640 These are the facts. 538 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,360 The sick children have suffered a rare side effect 539 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,120 and are collateral damage. 540 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,640 Something has been placed in the water supply 541 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,640 to adjust the minds of young people 542 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,840 and make them more susceptible to quantum - 'Oh, God. 543 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,160 This will get my sister-in-law going. 544 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,600 'You know what you have to do. 545 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,120 Fight fire with fire! 546 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,800 You know what the targets are! 547 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,720 A thousand sparks create a firestorm! 548 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,880 Burn it all down! 549 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,640 Burn it down! 550 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:56,480 Burn it down! Burn it down! Burn it down! 551 00:31:56,520 --> 00:32:00,000 Burn it down! Burn it down! 552 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,240 Burn it down! 553 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:02,960 Don't do this. 554 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,400 It's madness. 555 00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,600 Please, come home! 556 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:10,040 For fuck's sake. Stop it! 557 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,440 Tina, stop it. 558 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,960 This has to stop now. 559 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,800 I'm scared. 560 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,600 I know. 561 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,720 I'm so sick of it. I am so sick of being scared. 562 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,000 I don't want Danny to die. 563 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,960 He's at home in his bedroom on his PlayStation. He's not going to die. 564 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,600 Your hands. 565 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,520 I love you. That's all we need, isn't it? 566 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,280 B-Side - Baby, You're A Rich Man. 567 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,280 I told you not to drink that water. 568 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,000 Take me home. 569 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,200 Thank you. No worries. 570 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,000 'Have you seen the TV?' 571 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,120 They're burning things down in Kent. It's like anarchy. Really scary. 572 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,440 What the fuck are you even doing? 573 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:27,960 don't say "even" in that context. 574 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,880 Don't put crap like this in the window. 575 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,360 Wait, wait, wait - Don't you "wait" me. 576 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:38,080 Quantum fucking algorithms. It doesn't mean anything! 577 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,080 They burned down Francine's election - offices in Kent. - So what? 578 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,000 The planet's been burning for long enough. 579 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,960 All the political parties are the same. 580 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,440 Maybe people will listen for a change. 581 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,640 This is completely insane. 582 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,760 Serious arson attacks in Kent overnight. 583 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,000 Shops, especially chemists, and a couple of GP surgeries. 584 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,920 Local government buildings, even a few police stations. 585 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,840 Phone masts were also attacked. 586 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,080 The casualties largely in flats above properties stand at five. 587 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:18,240 All this was achieved with lies about a quantum algorithm. 588 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,920 All the main news outlets have carried reports 589 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,080 that the water is safe, but er... 590 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,200 people are still burning things. 591 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,760 There's something deep-rooted in the national psyche 592 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,240 when it comes to arson. I'm sure it gets the dopamine flying. 593 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:34,560 There's a Firestorm meme doing the rounds. 594 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,440 Yeah, I've seen it. 595 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,360 Our candidate in Kent has retweeted it in an attempt — 596 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,960 Tell him to delete that immediately. 597 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,840 We have. He has so far failed to respond. 598 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,160 That tiger ride is going smoothly, then. 599 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,760 Seriously. He's posting stuff probably spread by a hostile force. 600 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,440 Not very local, is it? 601 00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:02,680 She's right. It's definitely an attack line. 602 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,160 I'll deal with it. Can I posit a scenario? 603 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,120 What happens if he goes so far that we have to suspend him? 604 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,720 It's too late to nominate another candidate. 605 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,520 This is the masterplan, then, is it? 606 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,280 We have to stop this. 607 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,480 No more revenge attacks on banks and assets, though. 608 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,800 That clearly has just fed the beast. 609 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:30,080 The Americans have made it clear that they - 610 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,880 Fuck the Americans. 611 00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,840 They're probably watching this shitshow with as much interest as anyone else. 612 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,080 Organise a press conference for 4pm. 613 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,680 Time to go public with who we think is behind this. 614 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:42,760 We present a committed face. 615 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,320 I think the Home Secretary would be better in the circumstances. 616 00:35:50,400 --> 00:35:52,320 Fine. We'll do a joint conference. 617 00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,560 '(KNOCKING ON DOOR)' 618 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:12,280 Roger! 619 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:16,920 Ever been in the Foreign Office, - Rog? - Can't say I have. 620 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,080 Splendid, isn't it? 621 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,080 Fruitier than Carmen Miranda's hat. 622 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:26,480 Now I need you to do me a bit of a favour. 623 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,720 What's that? Stop being a cunt. 624 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:32,720 I'm sorry? Big ask, I know. 625 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,680 It doesn't matter if a Crypto-communist 626 00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:36,640 like Anna Marshall doesn't care for you. 627 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:41,920 That's a given. But if you lose Joe Obasi, you're on shaky ground. 628 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,800 I think I can handle him. Do you, now? 629 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,960 I do, yes, but thanks for the advice, Archie, all the same. 630 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:54,000 Well, look, let me float a different scenario. 631 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:56,600 What do you think happens if you lose me? 632 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:01,840 The Home Secretary asked you to delete the meme. 633 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,080 So delete the meme. 634 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,760 It's not an endorsement. 635 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,800 I just like it. 636 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,360 It's garbage, but that's neither here nor there. 637 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,040 Delete the meme and apologise. 638 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,280 No wonder people say you're a spent force. 639 00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:20,960 People say that, eh? 640 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,200 Have you ever heard that, 641 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:26,520 when you're racing the dawn back to the crypt, Motty? 642 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,720 No. I've heard you called lots of things, Archie, but not that. 643 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,200 Be sure to tell me if you do. 644 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,800 Would you care to put it to the test? 645 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:40,960 What's your game, Roger? 646 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,080 My game? 647 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:48,400 I would really advise you not to play with matches, my friend. 648 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,160 But I'm not your friend, Archie. 649 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,400 He's not going to delete it. 650 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,560 Maybe Anna is right. What? 651 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,560 Call Division 45. Archie's been hacked. 652 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:17,120 Why did you forgo the opportunity 653 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:19,520 to appear on the podium alongside the PM later? 654 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,360 I have to go to Scotland. 655 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,600 It's not like you to shun the limelight. 656 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,360 What are you scheming at now, you crafty - 657 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,560 It's the anniversary of my son's death. 658 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,560 Marianne and I always go to the site to lay a wreath. 659 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,160 I didn't know. Because I don't talk about it much. 660 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:43,040 He was on a Royal Marines live-fire training exercise. 661 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,080 Nobody's fault. 662 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,800 But, anyway... Stephen died. 663 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,720 I'm very sorry. 664 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,480 Yes, it was sad. 665 00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,840 Keep an eye on his social media 666 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:09,480 because I can definitely smell smoke rising 667 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:11,840 from under Roger Hawkins' feet. 668 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,720 What's going on? 669 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,160 Security says you're - I have to go. I can't stay. 670 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,720 Or I will go insane. Go where? 671 00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:46,320 I'm going to go and visit Ellie in Chile. 672 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,120 No, no, no. Chile's not safe. 673 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,360 Why not? Some of those arsonists 674 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,320 were wearing masks with my face on them. 675 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:54,560 Wicked Witch T-shirts. It... 676 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,160 We're gonna go horse-riding in the Andes, 677 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,400 and you know, just — You, Ellie and the Anarchist. 678 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,120 It's like the High Chaparral. 679 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,680 The Anarchist is ancient history. 680 00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:11,040 And nobody remembers the High Chaparral. 681 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,840 Well, I do. 682 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:26,480 It was... Anna's suggestion, actually. 683 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:28,920 And, you know, suddenly I thought - You spoke to Anna? 684 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:32,400 Yeah. She suggested going to visit Ellie just to -What? 685 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:35,760 Well, it's a sensible idea - You talked to Anna before me? 686 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,400 Yeah, but it wasn't like that. 687 00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:41,360 Oh, this is great. This really is revenge. 688 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,480 You have to hand it to her. 689 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,960 She knows how to stab from every direction. 690 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,880 Rob, no, we were just talking and - I've lost her loyalty. 691 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,080 It's gone. 692 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,280 All because I reinstated Archie 693 00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,240 and overruled her on Hawkins. 694 00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:00,080 She's a fucking mole. 695 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:04,760 She's working for them. For the opposition. 696 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,320 'So, as we await the government press conference 697 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,520 on the wave of arson attacks last night, 698 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,680 I can confirm that Roger Hawkins, 699 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,800 the Conservative candidate in Kent, 700 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:18,080 has not deleted a tweet associated with the Firestorm campaign. 701 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,360 And in a move likely to deeply embarrass the Prime Minister — 702 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,680 he has also said he will not be drinking tap water as a precaution.' 703 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,800 'Hawkins is going to flip on us.' 704 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,520 I think you're right. 705 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:43,480 That was a good point earlier... 706 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:48,760 ..about the opposition using the attack line against us. 707 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,840 Anyone might think it was something you did in your spare time. 708 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,280 Don't worry. If I were going to do that, I would make sure 709 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:57,720 I was handsomely paid for it. Don't ever speak to my wife again! 710 00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,440 What? 711 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:04,440 Erm...shall we discuss how we parcel this out? 712 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,160 I think you need to lead with - No, no, it's OK, Anna. 713 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:13,800 We have this. Why don't you just go off and leak to Francine? 714 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,560 What? Fidelity. 715 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,920 It never was your strong suit, was it? 716 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,080 Fuck you, Robert! 717 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,440 You're fired. No, I resign. 718 00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:43,640 Cerberus. 719 00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,520 You know what that means, don't you? 720 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,600 The multi-headed dog that stands at the gates of hell. 721 00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:53,440 Get me the Prime Minister immediately. 722 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,280 He's about to do the news conference. 723 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:56,920 Stop him. 724 00:42:57,960 --> 00:42:59,880 Get the Prime Minister. 725 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,600 Good afternoon, everyone. 726 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:05,560 'Justice for Simon. Vote nobody.' 727 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,600 'Hit back hard.' 728 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:14,160 'I have to go. Or I will go insane.' 729 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,640 She's a fucking mole. 730 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,080 Fuck you, Robert! I resign! 731 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 55362

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.