All language subtitles for mia.misses.her.revenge.2020

What are you doing over there?

MIA MISSES HER REVENGE

Morning!

Morning!

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Long night?

Was I too noisy?

No.

At least I didn't hear a thing.

Want something to eat?

No.

Later.

- Will you eat with me?
- Yes.

Should I cook something yummy?

- Do you feel like it?
- Sure.

- Comfort food?
- Why not?

Do you need it?

Maybe.

How come you haven't
asked me why I came home?

Why did you come home?

Sounds like you care a lot.

When could I have asked you this?

I don't know.

I had a fight with Teo, that's why
I came home.

Was it bad?

- Are you OK?
- No idea.

What comfort food do you want?

Anything.

"Anything" won't do.

- What will do, then?
- You have to say what you like.

What's comfort food for you?

Russian salad.

- Russian salad, then.
- Will you make it?

Great.

No meat, right?

A la russe.

- Are eggs OK?
- Yes.

- Dill pickles?
- Yes.

- Bell peppers?
- No.

You gotta help me, though.

Because you don't seem to be ok

and you won't say
what's going on exactly.

So you had a fight with him. OK.

- Why did you fight?
- You're getting on my nerves!

You're super annoying!

Fuck it, I'll shut up.
Go and be sad.

Okay, ask me.

Tell me what's wrong.

Ask me what's wrong

and I won't tell you, at first
but then I want to tell you.

What's wrong?
Did something happen?

- Yeah.
- What?

What did you fight about?

I told him that I'd go to Apostol's
for those photos

And I went and told him we'd finish
at 7 and that I'll be back at...

No, I told him we'd finish at...
actually yes, at 7.

And I stayed a little longer

and I got home at 9,
and I texted him I'd be late.

Anyway, it took us longer,
with the stylist and shit... dunno.

It took a bit longer.

I texted him on the way home

He said it was all good,
but I could tell he was upset.

When I got home,
he started questioning me

saying I got home at 9, because
from 7 to 9 I was fucking Apostol

and that's why I got home late.

Obviously, whenever I'm a little
late, I'm fucking someone.

And I started crying,
got hysterical,

trying to explain and swear
that nothing happened,

and begged him to believe
and forgive me,

and not be mad at me
because I know we had other plans.

One thing led to another,
we kept on fighting

he got angry and slapped me
and I packed my...

What do you mean he smacked you?
He hit you?

Yeah, I don't know...

So you want to do this,
OK, you can...

Yes, because I'll go
and show it to Teo

cause he's a jealous bastard
and he'll eat his heart out

when I'll show him a video of me
fucking someone else.

He's already fucked up
and has this image of me

having sex with someone else
stuck in his head.

How about you just fuck some guy
and tell him? Dunno.

Why do you need to...

No!

You should think about it more,
don't think it's the best idea.

I have.

The fuck...what if you end up
on some porn sites and shit?

I'll make sure not to.

- How exactly?
- I just will.

I won't send him the video,
I'll go show it on my laptop.

Uh, no.

- Don't think it's a good idea.
- Yes, it is.

- No, it's not!
- Why?

The fuck, man, you just fought.
He hit you!

Show him this shit and he'll bash
your head in with the laptop.

Don't say stuff like that
you know he's not an animal!

OK, fine.

Just calm down.

Alright, I'm calm.

And where do you wanna find him?

Some website or shit like that?

Dating sites?

Forget about dating sites! No way!

- Why not?
- Let's just...

Fuck, let's check out
the Drama School group.

It's easier. At least we fucking
know the guys there.

OK. Let's do it.

Wait a second.

This one's a no...

Nope.

OK. I'm bored already.

Let's go out!
I wanna go out right now!

And just find a guy and...
bring him here.

Let's go out!

Let's sit on the floor.

I'm sorry, I couldn't find
the red wine glasses.

Oh, well.
We'll make do with these.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Fruity.

I'm getting notes of...

Tuscan soil.

I'm bullshiting.
Don't know a thing about wines.

I like beer.

"Two beer or not two beer!"

- What are you doing?
- I'm filming you.

I can see that.

Just a second.

- You're looking good.
- You think?

Well, yeah, no worries,
I'll do anything you want.

The camera and I...

- Young or old?
- Old, of course.

Of course!
That's what I thought too...

I don't know how to
play it young, anyway.

You just let your jaw hang and...

Then you just move your eyebrows.

Mia, Mia, Mia!

You don't even know
who you brought home, Mia!

That's all I have
impression-wise. Sorry.

- No, it's really good. Don't worry.
- Thanks!

You look very good on camera.
I like it a lot!

The thing is...

I'd really like to film
the entire night.

I see.

- I mean the...
- Oh, I see!

I'd like to also film...

What?

Go ahead.

When we make love.

Making love, how sweet!

Alright, also when making love.

Let's call it that, sure.

So, you're cool with it?

- Sure, it's no big deal.
- Really?

Dude...

I'll do it with the camera,
the camera with me.

We make a little porn,
just like that!

I mean, it's just... Dunno.

You do you. Super easy!

No, please, no method acting.

We can make whatever type
of porn you want

but I just don't wanna play myself.

- Alright, then play a character.
- Yes, give me a character...

An old man with a cane! Dunno...

- Or a pianist with no fingers.
- Or Brando.

That's right! We'll shoot some...
sex with Brando.

Me... You... Sex... with Brando.

I'll fuck Brando!

Or we do a remake
of "Last Tango in Paris"!

We can do that!
Bring the margarine!

Sorry, I went too far.

Nevermind!

Just so you know, I've never
done this before.

It's my first time, too.

It's a premiere!

No, but... Wait a second.

We can leave it here
and pause it if you want. But...

We won't fuck
without the camera.

Sure, we put it here and we fuck,
without the camera.

No, look, we can leave it here

and drink some wine, chat for a bit
and then...

we set it up over there
and do whatever you want.

As you wish,
I'm totally fine with it.

- You sure?
- Yes!

It's actually really nice.

Then why are you so tense?

I'm not!

Don't get me wrong,
it's super awesome.

It's just something that
doesn't happen too often.

You have to understand that...

But I've never done this before either.
Why won't you believe me?

I believe you, but I just...

You're really not joking?

No.

Cross my heart that I'm not joking.

OK.

- I don't know what to say.
- You don't want to, or what?

No.

So just because I mentioned a camera
you're, suddenly, not attracted to me?

That's not what I said.

I really like you,
you're beautiful and stuff, just...

- But you don't want to fuck.
- No, I really, really want to fuck.

Ok, then if you want us to fuck,
you'll agree with doing it on camera.

This is my one rule for the night.

Agree to do it on camera
and we do anything you want.

Listen, let's make a deal.

We let the camera aside,
we have sex and...

But I told you three times

that we won't have sex unless
you agree to film it.

It's my one condition.

What's so complicated?

Nothing's complicated.
I'm sorry, but I...

You want us to fuck?

- Yes.
- OK. Do you agree to be filmed?

No!

I'm sorry, but this is super weird.

So I'm a weirdo?

No, not you.
No, you're not a weirdo!

What's so weird, then?

It turned into... See what's happening?
It's a negotiation now! Feels weird!

But it is a negotiation,
because I said no camera, no sex.

And you say that you don't agree to it.
So, yes, it's a negotiation.

You don't want to.

- No.
- No...OK.

Ok, then thanks a lot
and have a good night!

Maybe we started off
on the the wrong foot.

Maybe, yes.

OK, I'm sorry.

I don't care.

And this feels really liberating.

I'm starting to realise that

you always had the absolute
opinion.

So, this is gonna be the first
premiere you won't be attending.

The first time I'm not anxiously
waiting for your approval

which felt even worse
than stage fright.

So nervous to hear your opinion
on my acting.

What an idiot!

I always had to know where
you were seated.

Everything revolved around you.

I finally feel like I freed myself,
a little bit, from this.

And it's awesome.

And...

that text you sent me?

Frankly, I found it disgusting.

Was that you apologizing?

At least learn how to
do it properly.

Or don't bother at all.
I'm not curious to read them

and, trust me, they're not
comforting at all.

It's just some formal bullshit,
stuff you know you have to say.

And even when you send one
of these, you end up blaming me.

You keep telling me it's my fault
and that I'm being hysterical

and your reaction was totally legit.

You just had to slap me
to calm me down a bit,

because I was the one who lost it.

I don't know...
What do you wanna do?

I really don't know...
that's the problem.

But a slap is totally unacceptable!

- Come on!
- So what do I do?

I keep seeing this:
"A slap is totally unacceptable!"

On Facebook and hear it
from my students and...

This becomes a...

So now I'm just... repeating things?
Like a parrot? Or what?

No, I'm just saying that you're
adding this external layer...

"I don't really know what to do,
but a slap is totally unacceptable!"

It's not just some external bullshit.
It's unacceptable! It totally is!

If it's totally unacceptable, then
your decision should be easy.

Well, it isn't.

It's not, because things
are a little bit nuanced.

Because depending on the context,
that slap...

is felt differently by you

than, say, a farmgirl whose father
beat her because she lost a cow.

If her boyfriend slaps her,
she'll take it differently.

Or those who fight because
they can't verbalise stuff.

And yes, they're educated,
but once they're in a relationship

they can't handle their feelings
without smacking each other.

For them, too, a slap
is totally unacceptable.

Or the fact that my mum
slapped me when I was little

I can't say it was something
unacceptable.

So just because we were
exposed to it as children

we will normalize it as adults
and that makes it OK!?

I dunno if it's ok.
I'm not saying it's OK.

I'm just saying that it differs
from one instance to another.

But this way you can
relativize everything!

Exactly, you can relativize
absolutely everything.

Great!

What I'm saying is that things get
tricky depending on the case

and you cannot have
a big label with:

"A slap is totally unacceptable!"

Dude, maybe it's just something...

Ok, so, if Dad comes home tonight
and slaps you, it's OK!?

If he slaps me tonight,
a slap is totally unacceptable.

- See?
- Yes, but...

Where's the relativism
you were taking about?

It is when you ask me:
"So, what should I do?"

The fact that you're facing this
dilemma, shows me that something...

But everyone says
it never stops with the first slap.

- Who is "everyone"?
- Eva, the girls...

So trust the girls, then.

There probably are statistics that say
it never stops with the first slap.

But you should take this decision without
thinking about what everyone says.

And how do I do that, precisely?

Don't know...take some time
to just be alone with yourself.

God damn'!
Just take some time alone!

Cause you're always surrounded by
lots of people and their opinions.

Including me, right now.

Ok, so what should I do? Focus on
my breathing and have a revelation?

Yes, take half a day to focus
on your breathing and on yourself.

To figure out if you're hurting,
if you miss him, if you don't...

But take half a day, so you can
think about this stuff.

- But it's not that easy.
- Well, obviously!

Welcome to being a grown-up.

Ah, got it!

What do you know?

So you're doing commedia dell' arte!
The real art!

Do you know what
commedia dell' arte is?

The masks...

We respect the craft.

This is his first show
with clothes on!

And you're sorry about it?
'Cause I can take them off?

Yes, please.

Show us those acting school abs!

We didn't study this.

What are you doing? Turn that off.

We're starting.

- Let's go, ok?!
- OK.

Show some fucking enthusiasm!

Fuck it! So she started talking
stupid shit like:

"I don't believe in open
relationships, it's not natural."

- Can't believe she said that!
- Yes, she did.

I was like "Dude, you should
take a look at yourself first."

What the fuck,
what's natural, to you?

To give blowjobs every Tuesday,
in the club?

Beside that, she's been in an open
relationship, she just didn't know it.

Cause she waited for that asshole
to come every night for dinner

and he was fucking half of the
students on campus.

What's this?
Tastes like nothing.

Appreciate the fucking gesture.

Yeah, but I'm not eating the gesture,
I'm eating this.

God, you're so spoiled!

I'm sorry.

- It's really good.
- Yeah, right.

- What, are you mad at me?
- No.

Do you want me to go to Teo's
and get some of your clothes?

No.

I don't mind doing it, really.
I'll go, take them and come back.

No, Eva!

Fine.

Let me drink first.

Wait a second, it's coming!

- There you go!
- Thanks for today!

So, I get to the casting,

I say "hello" to the director
and the casting director.

And, after a while,
the casting director leaves.

So, I'm left alone
with the gentleman.

And he started to explain that
he'd like to do some nude scenes,

and if I could undress.

So I asked: "You mean, as a human,
if I have this ability?"

And he kept coming close to me
and give me directions.

"I'd like this part
to be more like..."

"More like...
How should I put it..."

"You feel defeated here."

Once I passed the customs
in Galați

and about like...10 trucks
were waiting in line

and when I passed by them
all the divers were like:

"What's up, baby!"

- That's exactly how it felt.
- Wonderful...

In my first year of Uni,
I had an audition on a train.

But what were you doing in Vaslui?
The casting was taking place there?

No, the actual casting
happened on the train!

The thing is, I was one
of the last to go in

the girls were going in, one by one,
but nobody would tell my anything.

Not even a word.

And I asked "How was it?"
"It was OK."

He gave me a shirt and I wanted
to go to the other room to change.

And he said "No, change
in here, please."

- Wow, no!
- "I have to see the process."

He gave me...

What if it was his ex's shirt
or something?

- Whoa, dude, you went far...
- What if she was dead?

What if he's psycho?

And we keep forgetting that
the casting was on a train...

I'm glad that...there's no
problem there, right?

I took off the bra I had on,
and put on his bra.

You should've shown him
yours first!

Just like in Cinderella!

To be honest, as a first-year,
you go to all the auditions, I mean...

But... if I get naked and have
to show my pussy around

- He should do the same.
- Fair enough.

But he's in there, all covered up,
like on the North Pole

and I be like "Woohoo, Hawaii!"
The fuck, man?!

That's one perspective.

- This happens, are you crazy?
- But you do get what she's saying?

You're joking, right...

No, I don't get it. What? He pulls
out his awards and makes it OK?

I'm not saying it's OK,
just that it's normal.

You're all idiots.

- You're a bit prudish.
- Is that a joke?

I'm a prude because I didn't
show my tits to get a part?

What do you mean I'm prudish?

- No, up here.
- So I'm narrow minded?

- Lucky you're so open-minded!
- I am!

- So what do you wanna do?
- Don't you realise this is super sad!

- Sad, but true.
- Yes but...

I'm fed up with hearing
"We can't do anything about it."

That's not true!

What was I supposed to do?

Look, I really appreciate that
you refused to get undressed.

But I think that maybe
you could've left earlier

when he started to tell you
how hurt you were,

touching you between the legs

- Sorry, but...
- Did it turn you on, at least?

we all have imagination, so...

Sorina, really!? You're gross!

She's taking life so seriously!
We were just joking!

- Was that a joke? What the fuck?
- Yes, it was!

- You're a fine, talented actress and...
- Mia! Mia!

can get a part without sucking cocks!
You can audition for it.

But I like sucking cock!

What I want to say is that...
Listen to me!

You can't understand because
you didn't live my life!

See this terrace?
It's the size of my studio!

If I don't make it, my dad will
marry me off to some pig farmer,

the best one in the village,
or something...

- I'm sorry.
- No, you're not!

Because you cannot
understand this shit...

I'll take my clothes off
to get what I want!

Yes, but if you continue to do this

and undress to get what you want...

Are you on your period, Princess?
Did you get your pills today?

Your mum's on her period! OK?

- Oh, I got goose bumps!
- We got from sex to mothers!

Hope you all noticed.

- Will you peel the eggs?
- Sure.

- Should I put this one too?
- Yeah, do it.

I suppose I'll sign the contract
after the premiere.

If at all.

They cut the budget anyway...

But it's nice! It sounds like
a summer camp.

Don't you feel like you should be
the one paying them?

Thanks!

Yeah, usually, they pay
for the meals.

- Ready.
- Yas!

Oh, yes! God!

Come on, put the camera aside
and eat!

Are you done?

Wait, I have to post a story
on my Instagram.

Yes, please, another camera!

So I have this Instagram account...

Let me say this to the camera,
in case anyone sees this.

Hello! I have an Instagram account,
I'm " The Greedy Circus",

where I post pictures of me eating.

No, I swear, I saw some videos
on Facebook, I think...

with some Japanese chicks that
just eat in front of the camera.

That's all?

Yes and I wanna make
a food-themed videochat.

I think it's a good deal.

And we have to talk to them too?
Or just eat?

No, we just eat.

Are you sure there's no talking?
It would be cool to also talk.

Mia! Mia, Mia...

What she's saying is "Mia".

I know you don't understand
because she's eating, but...

I don't like it.

What else excites men?
Dunno... Spiderman?

For us to eat off one another,
for sure!

What else do men find hot?!

Yeah, we can eat off of each other.
We can totally do this!

We can be messy and
drop some food on us.

"Be messy"!

You've been super antisocial since
this whole filming thing began...

You're worse than I am
with Instagram.

- Are you OK?
- Yes, thanks.

Oh, take these.

I took them off last night.

Hey, nothing happened.

- I guess I would've remembered.
- That's what I'd like to think.

I went to the bathroom
to take a shower.

And when I came back
you were passed out.

- Such a waste of a shower.
- No.

It's happened before.

- Well, sorry. What can I say...
- Don't worry.

Nothing to be sorry about.

It was nice in a way.

- Was it?
- Domestic.

I saw you in a play last week,
it was pretty surprising.

Surprising?

I had seen you before, in a
graduation play, some while ago...

- It was...
- "Titanic Waltz".

Yeah, that one!

I also saw you in some
other play, too.

You seemed to be more like...
a jokester.

- Lo and behold!
- But it was nice.

Nice?
Every actor's dream compliment.

Bad choice of words.
I meant it was really good.

I liked seeing your
more sensitive side.

Thanks.

So what now?

Now we're having a coffee.

But did we come here for coffee?

No, but this is what
we ended up doing.

Fair enough.

How about giving it another shot?

Did I mention the camera yesterday?

What about the camera?

If we fuck, we have to film it.

Say what?

Yeah, that's all.

Why?

Just because.
It's a personal project.

What? To film yourself fucking?

No, but I used it in different
situations this week.

Not just for this.

Are you messing with me?

No. Absolutely not.

Hear me out.

If you don't want your face to show

we can frame it in a way
so it won't show.

It can be just a body.

Yeah sure, let's put guide marks
on the sheets!

Well, you're an actor...

- Are fucking kidding me?
- No, I told you. Not at all.

- What more difficult?
- The anatomy.

- What the hell are you saying?
- What do you mean?

The anatomy, the personal project...
What do you think I am, 14?

- You think this can't happen to you?
- Finished the coffee?

- Are you kicking me out?
- Yeah, beat it.

Stupid me.

Come on, Monica Bellucci!
Get the fuck out!

It's easy, either we fuck
or we don't.

Yes, but we fuck on camera.

Get your skinny ass out of here!
Fuck off!

What are you looking at?
Don't you get it?

Clothes off or get the fuck out!

What aren't you getting?

Okay.

No, no, wait!
You said fucking, not kissing.

Don't you move!

If I wanted fingers up my cunt,
I would've used mine.

Thought you were fucking me hard.
What's wrong, boss?

Anatomy issues?

Get the fuck out now or
I'll rip your head off.

I don't get this obsession you have
for fucking.

I just don't.

Why do you think it's
such a big deal?

Why are you so obsessed with it?

The problem is that I've become
just as obsessed,

starting to believe it's just
as bad as you think it is.

It's just... whatever.

It's sex.

It's just that.

This morning I was lying on
some guy's table,

and...

I was waiting for him to fuck me.

I was facing down,
I couldn't even see him.

And I was scared.

No, I wasn't enjoying it,
I wasn't wet.

Actually, I was.

Do you understand that
you've trained me?

That I'm a puppy...

who won't let herself feel things,

or if she does feel things
she feels guilty about it?

I feel guilty for...

for being able
to feel attracted to someone else.

You made want nothing but cock
from anyone I meet.

It's all I want.
To be fucked,

because you've told me for so long
that I wasn't allowed to be fucked

I wasn't even allowed
to imagine it.

To desire it, to think about it.

Because all of this is bad...

Do you understand
what you did to me, idiot?

Do you understand what you did to me?
You mother fucking asshole!?

- Happy birthday, Eva!
- Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday!

Me, me, me!

Happy birthday to me!

Marry Jude and kill Tănase...

She killed, Neica?

Yeah...

- Maria Popistașu...
- Come on, dude!

Fuck Ana Ularu...
Marry Silvana Mihai...

and I am killing Popistașu,
because I am afraid of her and I...

"Marry" means I will fuck him
for the rest of my life

or that I will only marry him?

It means that from a point on,
you won't fuck him at all.

This game is horrible!

- Yes, I can understand Bendeac...
- I hate this game!

- So, you killed Tudor Chirilă?
- Then Pavlu and Manole.

Marry Pavlu, fuck Manole.

Though I'm a bit...

- That's how I feel right now.
- I see.

Horia Brenciu...

- ... and Boguță also?
- Give me a girl, also.

Give me a girl.

OK, marry Andi Vasluianu
and fuck Aprodu.

OK.

So, basically, you just
chose the man...

Didn't she just say that
nothing happens after a while?

Puiu, Mungiu, Porumboiu.

Wonderful!

Marry...

Puiu.

What do you base your
decision on?

Fuck...

Fuck my life!

It's not real,
so you can say whatever...

Fuck... Mungiu.

She's so upset!

Radu Afrim,
George Piștereanu...

and... Șerban Huidu.

What?!

- I feel like crying!
- Me too!

I think life would be
really interesting with Radu Afrim.

That's what I'm doing!

Oh, my God!
What just happened?

- Wait a sec... Was this the game...
- This is game.

Yes, this is the game.
This is what we're playing.

Yes, 'cause "a slap means nothing",
"she doesn't understand anything".

Dude, stop it!
Don't be like this!

It's not like he put a 10-hour
traditional dance mix on YouTube...

And stomped on you all night
in the living room.

- Fuck off, all of you!
- Mia!

- You mother fucking idiots!
- Fuck, you're always making a scene!

Get back here!

I'm not getting back
until those fucking idiots leave!

- Send them home and I'll come!
- I'm not sending anyone packing.

Send them home!

- Mia!
- Mia, stop it!

Let go of me!

Leave! Cock-sucking influencer!

Enough! Stop it!

Cock-sucking, influencer!

Just shut up.

- Say what you gotta say!
- Come on, slap me!

Shut the fuck up!
Fuck off, leave!

Let her get slapped,
if that's what she wants!

Slap me!

Please!

Are you out of you mind?

Go ahead and slap me!
It's nothing, don't you remember?

You call that a slap?
Come on!

Go ahead!

Do it!

Come on!

Slap me!

Slap me.

Slap me.

Come on, slap me.

This one!

This one is me,
"Cause I have a fat girl's soul.

I'm the guy, for no exact reason.

- I just like him.
- Because he gets worked up.

Look, that's you.

- No, I'm the man with...
- The bottle.

I'm the man with the bottle.

Look, look!

- Me getting drunk.
- Our favourite part.

I'm that girl.

Do you wanna try it?

Let have a water fight!

She wants it too?

- Yeah, me!
- You want to!

- You knew she was gonna ask that.
- The bike!

Yes but don't know where...

You knew it.
We have a connection.

Do you want some wine?

Mia?

Mia?

- Are you sleeping?
- No...

Yeah, right, she's not sleeping.

Leave me alone!

No!?

Not necessarily a boss,
a superior or something...

What happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas.

Okay!

One of my MA professors.

Nice!

Yeah.

He was older, but not much.
He wasn't old-old.

He was in good shape, good-looking.

If you have to say he was "in good
shape", it means he wasn't quite...

Yeah, sure, but...

You know, when you're like 23
and he's 40, you think...

When I was little, I would hear
my mum say about someone who died:

"He died so young, he was only 60!"

"What the fuck, 60?
He was a fossil!"

This guy was in his 40s,
quite a bit older than me now.

But he was really cool.

He had a way with words,

a nice personality.

All the girls liked him.
All of my girlfriends.

That kind of a professor
everyone had a little crush on.

I guess it was flattering that out
of all those girls...

He chose you?

Yeah.

He chose me...
Well, it didn't feel like it.

It felt like I had the power.

I felt like a seductress.

He even called me an allumeuse.

"You're an allumeuse!"

Whatever!
So we started a relationship.

It took a while for me to give in
because he was married and I had...

Principles.

Something I told him from the start.
"I can't be with a married man."

He said "I think we need to discuss...
Actually, I only wear the ring...

because I don't really want to...
I want to avoid complications."

"So girls won't fall for me."

"But it's just formal,
it means nothing."

"Sure, I have a child,
And for him..."

Basically, we're only staying
together until he turns 18."

- Oh, the basic shit.
- I don't know...

Maybe because I was
just a few years older that his son,

it made sense!

Not to traumatize the 15 year-old boy
or whatever his age was..

And...

I told him, if we start this thing,
I'll be all in.

"Sure, we have this situation,
you're married,

but I don't want to ever know
anything about them."

Let's begin our love story!

We managed to keep things separate.

He was a discreet guy
and was very careful that

I'm not exposed, in any way,
to that part of his life.

And that made it work.

As a forbidden relationship.

We'd brush fingers
on the hallways.

He'd whisper sweet nothings
in my ear...

Whatever!

Things that you may, now, find sleazy,
but they weren't then.

To me they were awesome.

What I really learned
from this relationship

is a lot more than what
I'm telling you right now.

He was a man of a certain... taste.

Who opened my eyes and
introduced me to certain things.

Like watching films no girl
in my class would watch,

reading different stuff.

It was awesome while it lasted.

but then, in the end, he fooled me
and got rid of me quite easily,

Making use of my illusion that
I was the one in control,

and I was the one to decide if...

or when we'd see each other,
although...

he was always the one to
initiate these things.

Dunno what the fuck
I was thinking.

- I had the impression that I was...
- You were the one to decide!

If I wanted to, we would...

So he...
Whatever!

Long story short, he called me
at one point and said:

"My wife found out!"

"She found some messages, and I'll
need a period to sort things out."

But I think he...made me feel like
from that moment on,

I had to accept that he'll come, move
in with me and we'll be together.

But for me...

- It was unconceivable.
- Well, yeah!

But did people know
you two were together?

No... I only told one girl who
was my best friend. But no...

No...we were really discreet.

Whatever! So I told him
I wasn't ready for that.

That I cannot assume
the responsibility...

I think I even said something like
"I'm not ready to be a stepmother."

Or something like that...
Whatever!

So it was a pretty clean break-up.
I never contacted him again.

He didn't either.

Then the summer vacation came...
and that was that.

- So yeah.
- Cool story.

I guess so. What can I say...
there's a bitter side to it too.

Because I feel like
I was tricked, in a way...

But...I'm not sure
if I want to find out how.

Just to make sure we're on the
same page, this is temporary, right?

Yes.

Hope I won't have a surprise
with the duct tape

and have those things peel off
at the premiere!

- No.
- Splendid!

Mihai, let's pick up from when you
were taking the girls there.

You're done with Teo...

You walk to her and then
there's the bit with the donkey, OK?

And let's try, even if...

we're all tired now,
but let's keep this pace

so we can get through
the whole thing and have it, OK?

Let's go, please!
Can we start?

Yes.

Ready...

It's very good!

Are we ready?

- The donkey's made to carry loads.
- Yes!

You're a bit lighter,
you can stay on top.

I'm afraid that you can't
handle me.

If I get on top,
it won't be that easy!

You look like the type
who enjoys dumps.

I'm not sure...
I'm not enjoying you.

Better said, bothering me!

A wasp's waist, a wasp's venom!

Now I'm a wasp?
Beware, that I might sting you!

I've got it! I'll just pluck
your stinger out.

Don't think you've
studied it enough!

I remember a few things.

Wait, stop! Stop it!

Come up here for a bit.

Alexandra, make an effort and
come here too!

So you can see what I see.

These aren't the costumes
from your sketches.

- No, they're not.
- No...

So how do we fix this?

What you sent me looked
all glossy, Insta-worthy and stuff.

- Has Instagram gone to shit?
- No, but this was the budget...

Come on, it's not about the money...
Take a look at them.

Girls, stand up for a moment.

Am I crazy or is there...
a pattern here?

You mean that there are
five one-piece suits?

Yes, it feels like the Catholic Girls'
School took a trip to the beach.

We can fix it.
We can cut it up a little.

Yeah and hang some crosses
on their necks...

Look, this one...
Hold it for a sec.

Alexandra, look.

The actresses are young and beautiful,
and you're covering them up.

You get what I'm saying?

I feel like they came here to knit,
not to get a tan.

This is what I want you to fix...

I can open this up to here
and it's super-sexy.

You have to open that up more.

There you can change it,
as you said,

to see her abs and show some skin.

And for the other ones, the same!

Thanks, that's all.

Now, let's talk about
the two of them.

For Mihai, would you mind terribly

if I suggested to get rid of
that shirt?

- No.
- Good.

I have the only Romanian actor
without a protruding belly,

and you cover him up!

With Mia, it's worse.

We don't have money, but we spend it
on that ugly fanny pack?

If you want, I can...

...buy another one, another colour?

No, take it out.

Can you get her a two-piece
by tomorrow?

You want me to convert this one
or buy another one?

What do you mean?

With this one, I can do...

Look, something like this.

Are you showing me
what a two-piece looks like?

Yes, down to here and then...

But I know... I can imagine
what a two-piece looks like.

Get it?

Buy her a new one.

- OK, but...
- One that was born a two-piece.

- Don't transform this one.
- But you can unzip it.

Oh, right!

I think it's pretty cool.

- Look, can you unzip it all
the way down?

- Yes.
- Alright!

And now... the costume's easier
to take off, right?

Ok, then, you take it off, burn it
and bring her a two-piece, OK?

- Can we do this, please!?
- Alright.

I feel like you wanna see me
six feet under..

- Got anything personal against me?
- No.

Ok, let's go.

So take notes of what we talked
and take care of it. Please!

Let's do it...

- In whose tongue?
- Yours, if you don't shut up.

OK, adieu!

My tongue in your stinger?

No, Kate.

- I couldn't, I respect you too much.
- So, respect me from afar, OK?!

I won't respect you anymore
if you hit me.

It's disrespectful
to disrespect a woman.

Hey! What's going on?

Die, fucking bastard!

Hey, hey! Stop it!

What the fuck's wrong with you?

That's enough.
Mia, what the fuck!?

Fuck you, motherfucker!
I'm not OK, don't touch me!

Fucking shit!

- Please, forgive me.
- You know what's confusing me?

That I was under the impression that
we have this... optimal communication.

Where if you have a problem, something
bothers you, you come and tell me

I take care of it.
I fix it.

Crippling fellow actors
on stage...

suggests a crack in
our communication.

And that makes me really sad.

Like a miserable man who will never
get this show out.

Please forgive me,
I was out of line and...

I feel really bad about it.

But, you know,
Mihai behaved like an asshole.

How so?

What do you mean?
He slapped me!

- On stage. The slap on stage?
- Yes.

The slap on the ass.

Yes, Pavel, he slapped me
on stage!

Ok, so was it hard?

Did he do anything different?
'Cause I've seen this ten times.

You guys came up with it.
It wasn't my idea.

Sorry, I didn't come up with it.
He did!

And I was a coward and I
couldn't say I didn't agree with it.

Ok, so what's the problem
with this slap?

Does it hurt?
Is it a feminist thing?

You don't see your character
getting ass-slapped?

Or what? Tell me, so that I know
what to fix!

That I'm really not
comfortable with it!

I don't feel good about it!

It was a good idea, that you came
up with. But fine, the slap's gone!

OK, happy now?

If we're being honest, I feel like
his behavior is unacceptable

and completely unprofessional.

How so?

He's coming on to me,
and won't keep his hands to himself!

But what did he do?

Is he like a hormonal teenager
who doesn't know how to say:

"Mia, I like you, let's go out
for a drink!"

Or is he a bumpkin who touches you
and makes rude jokes?

Is he foul mouthed or
God knows what?

I don't know why you feel
the need to label it.

- He just behaves like...
- So, I know what to tell him.

I now have to call this guy
and scold him.

And I have to know what to say,
"Mihai, stop doing this and that."

"Mihai, stop being a sleazy bastard
and keep your hands to yourself!"

Look, I'll take care of it. OK?

I'll call him.

Please, I'm sorry.

No matter what he did,
The way I acted is unacceptable.

And I understand it!

On the other hand,
I know this sounds like an excuse,

but I'm going through a confusing
time in my private life and...

I mean, I just broke up
with my boyfriend of three years.

We had a nasty fight,
Anyway... He's an animal.

Well, my condolences.

I don't know what to say,
Sorry, I'm also...

I have no solution for boyfriends
and matters of the heart.

If there's anything I can do,
I will, wholeheartedly.

If it's not about the ugly costumes,
It's beyond me.

Actually...

There is something you could do.

Unless it's about stabbing
boyfriends or firing fellow actors.

No!

Would you like to have sex,
film it and show it to him?

It's a lot to take in,
please be patient with me.

Now I can't scold you anymore!

So, one thing at a time:

The whole sex thing...

After all, it's...

I find you a really attractive man

and, until now, I didn't have the
courage to confess this to you.

- I thought it was...
- The wrong time?

Yes, and I think that...

Since we're having this intimate
and sincere moment,

that I could also tell you this.

Also, Teo always suspected
there was something between us...

- Teo being your boyfriend?
- Yes.

- And...I think this would be perfect.
- Brilliant.

- It would be the best.
- Since we're confessing...

I have to admit...

Your offer humbles me, seeing as...

I also think you're
an awesome, beautiful woman.

- And a great actress.
- Thank you.

After all, that's why I chose you.

I mean not for fucking,
but for your acting!

To play the part.

But it did cross my mind.

The whole fucking thing.
I have to admit.

Well, in my fantasies
it was more...

of a me-and-you thing
than what you're saying.

There were no cameras.

I have this thing, you know...
no cameras when we fuck.

And it wasn't a revenge on your ex.

Also, it happened after
the premiere.

Not for a second did I think
we'd fuck before that.

I understand your concern,
but I don't think it's grounded.

It's all under control,
and it's gonna be great.

We can make it so
you'd feel comfortable with it.

I'd be more comfortable
after the premiere, with no cameras.

I also have a contract with them,
preceding our verbal agreement.

So I have some obligations
but I'd be more at ease

But we will fuck, undoubtedly.

That's for certain.

These are my conditions.
After all, it was your proposal.

I dunno, I think it could
help us get closer.

Generally speaking, fucking tends
to bring people closer.

This from my personal experience.

Who knows, it might even
benefit the part.

Based on my professional experience,
it's usually the other way around.

I feel... I believe that
social theatre

has the power to speak to audiences
in a more direct way,

by addressing hot topics...

I agree, as long as you don't
pretend to be Augusto Boal.

Because you're not!

Among the people you respect a lot,
there are few

who, indeed, do things that
I couldn't do!

Going to the slums and using theater
to teach those kids how to read.

I admit I could never do it,
and I find it great!

But those who claim to have
invented projections on a cloth...

- You can't respect them.
- But nobody claims this...

Or not as much as you respect them.

I doubt you'd prefer playing
nondescript characters,

girls wearing black outfits
who scare the audience,

and then recite Facebook
monologues...

It's here on the left.
No, wait, no...

It's Teo. It's Teo!

- Just a second. No, go on!
- I've stopped.

Teo's in front of my house,
please...

I dunno...
Go ask him to leave, please!

- The dude in white? That's Teo?
- Yes, that's him.

What do you want me to do?
Go and punch him?

No, please, go and
just ask him to leave!

He's just a guy on the street. How
am I supposed to chase him away?

No, please, tell him to go away
'cause I don't wanna se him. Please!

Don't you want me to take you
to a friend of yours for an hour,

until he gets bored?

No, please!
I really want to go home.

Thanks a lot.

Get up! Stand up!

Come here.

Hey!

Do you want some water?

- Or maybe a tea?
- No.

Let's get you changed into
something more comfy.

I'll bring you a T-shirt. OK?

I don't know if it hurts
as much as the nose piercing.

- But you had one, right?
- Yes, but I had mine here.

Do you still have the hole?

It still shows a little.

- You can see it here.
- Yeah, barely.

No, but I'm talking about
the one in the middle.

What?

- That one I think hurts a lot.
- But think of how cool it looks!

Like a pig.

Yeah. I'll put a ring
through my nose!

I wouldn't have liked you
with a pig ring.

Oh, thank you very much!

But where do you put them, exactly?
I mean is there a special area...

We can look it up.

So you put them under the foreskin?

Where the heck do you put them.
You can't block your glands.

Technically, it's a bit
complicated.

Google it! "Balls in dick'.

You'd better type "A" penis' instead.

"How do you put them?
How much?

What are the risks?

What do women feel?"

Let's see...

But how does it look...

This is very bad!

And while I was listening to
your message,

I was thinking about how insecure
you must be

to get to do a thing like this.

To feel like this
is the only solution.

To feel like this is the most
acceptable thing to do.

And I was thinking that,
you have by your side a woman...

You had

by your side, a woman

who loves you, who never lied to you
yet you still did this.

I feel that I cannot get over it.

No matter how many excuses
I try to find for you

and how much I understand
it was all due to your weakness,

It's something I can't get over.

- Am I disturbing you?
- No.

- I can go back to sleep...
- No, it's OK.

Yeah, I don't think I am
the right person

to answer this question.

I mean... I slapped a girl.

Really?

Yes. She...

She really pissed me off.

She grabbed me,
she made me do certain things

and I felt the urge to hit her.

I mean I didn't hit her,
because she avoided it, but...

- So you didn't hit her.
- No, but it's like I did slap her.

I did the hand movement.

OK, you had the urge,
but didn't slap her eventually.

But for me,
it's like having really hit her.

The fact that she was quick,
that's another thing.

But I don't think it's so...

Yes, but there's a
huge difference between

having the intention and

acting upon it.

But at the same time,
the fact that I wanted to hit her,

doesn't make me a monster.

It doesn't mean I didn't love her.

As I said earlier,
I wanted to apologise.

And to tell you that

I'm sorry I went too far last time.
It was a bit too much.

I mean, dunno...
it was a weird night for me.

I was drunk, tired...

A bit of chaos.

And I'm sorry I became
so aggressive.

I felt rejected and that made me
feel so vulnerable...

It's OK. I too was...

It's OK. We're OK.

OK.

So... bye.

No, I wanted to...

Wait.

So I have another proposition.

To just fake that we're doing it.

For the camera.

Eva, here, will film us
and we do these small gestures

to make it look like we're fucking,
but we won't.

Like this...
Look!

No, look!

- Don't fidget!
- Take it easy, you'll scare him.

- What if he runs off?
- Okay!

Something like this.
Eva will film...

OK, I get it.

- This kind of stuff.
- Yes.

Listen.

Anyway, it's too close.

Yeah, that's overacting.
But it's... it's OK.

Please, let's just try it.
We play around, give it a shot!

And if you think it's too much,
too complicated and stuff, we stop.

- Close-ups of things.
- Let's do the belt thing.

- I'll start from your face, right?
- Yeah, sure.

But we'll cut it and stuff, right?
It's gonna be...

- We'll edit it...
- Yeah, don't worry.

Guy Ritchie style, but with sex.

- I don't know...
- OK.

- Ready?
- Yes, go.

Camera ready?

Action!

Quit that!

Give her a hand,
what are you doing?

- But... unbutton it in a sexy way.
- Sexy!.

And dunno... kiss my shoulder,
then on my neck and...

But, make it look sexy.

Wait, let me move my legs.

- Should I lean back?
- Yeah.

OK, and now what?
How do I unbuckle her belt?

- I have no hands left.
- With your teeth.

I'll hold on here and
use my legs too.

And you can let go of me.

Now get on top of her.

Your hair. Right.

- Let's do it...
- Sorry, I'm ready.

Look... let me put my hands here.
You think it's OK ?

Guys, should I go on filming?

I texted Teo last night.

Last night?

This morning, after Victor left.

To say what?

To just meet and talk...

Or something.

Really, can't believe that
you kept asking me all morning:

"What should I do now? Should I
see him? What do you think?"

"A slap is totally unacceptable!"

What will you tell him?

I don't know if I should tell him
I fucked Victor.

If you want to tell him,
this would be the best time.

He might feel guilty enough
not to slap you again.

Forgive me, please.

I said something stupid,
forgive me.

I'm sorry! It's absolutely normal
to want some closure.

Sorry, it was so stupid of me.

It's gonna be alright.

Okay?

There, there...

I'm sorry, I'm an idiot!

- I'm a bit hot.
- Let's rest a bit, ok?

- Let me shoot it!
- With the tip of your fingers.

Well done!

Are you ready?

Something's not right!
But I can't tell what...

Let's go!

I don't get it.

Is this a new game?

Great!

Bravo!

Don't throw it at my face,
I'm an actress.

Stop the game!

Wait!

Wait!

So I put two hands.
What do I do now?

Go on!

Catching is easy.
Shooting is harder.

Auch! Fault!

Try again!

I keep missing the basket.

It's your turn!

Subtitling: FAST TITLES MEDIA