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00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:02,785
Previously onYoung Sheldon...
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00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:04,787
Oh, hey, Brenda.
What brings you out tonight?
3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,223
Just needed to get
out of the house.
4
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:07,224
I hear that.
5
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,009
Want some company?
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00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,662
Sure.
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00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,273
Then what if we go
someplace else?
8
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,752
What do you have in mind?
9
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:16,103
Herschel does have the kids.
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00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:19,976
[pants]
You okay?
11
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,456
George?
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00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:22,631
Hello?
13
00:00:22,674 --> 00:00:24,198
BRENDA:
Mary, it's Brenda.
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00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:25,329
George is in the hospital.
15
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,678
What's going on?
16
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,289
Paramedics think it might be
his heart.
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00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,466
All we did was have a nice time
in a public place. Hmm?
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00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,642
Now, is there anything
wrong with that?
19
00:00:33,685 --> 00:00:35,252
Kind of feels like it.
20
00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:36,819
It does feel like it.
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00:00:36,862 --> 00:00:38,473
Why does it feel like it?
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00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,301
[sighs] Maybe...
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00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:44,044
'cause it was nice to talk
to someone and feel special.
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00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,829
It was.
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00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:51,486
ADULT SHELDON: Sundays were not
my favorite day.
26
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,531
In fact, the only light
at the end of the tunnel was
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00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:56,926
the wry musings of Andy Rooney
at the end of60 Minutes.
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00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,929
Noise is sound
you don't want to hear.
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00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:04,412
And of course, one person's
sound is another person's noise.
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00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:06,022
So wry.
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00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,763
The rest of the day was filled
with football,
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00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:11,245
church and the only school
I didn't enjoy attending,
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00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:12,855
Sunday school.
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00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,900
And then his mother put
baby Moses in a basket
35
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,511
and sent him down the river.
36
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:17,990
Why?
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00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,296
Maybe he was crying all night
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00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,037
and his mother and father
needed a break.
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00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,344
And maybe his grandmother was
in town to help out,
40
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:26,521
but she went to bed early
because she had jet lag
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00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,436
after her flight from Dallas.
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00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,699
She did it
because Pharaoh ordered
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00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:31,874
all the male babies
to be killed.
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00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,963
That's really in the Bible?Yes.
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00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,531
And Mom won't let me
read Judy Blume.
46
00:01:36,574 --> 00:01:39,186
Sheila the Great
changed my life.
47
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,752
JEFF:
Back to Moses.
48
00:01:40,796 --> 00:01:42,363
He was found
by Pharaoh's daughter
49
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,365
and went on to lead
the Israelites out of Egypt,
50
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:48,891
because even when you feel lost,
God has a plan for us all.
51
00:01:48,934 --> 00:01:50,849
What was his plan
for the male babies
52
00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:51,894
who didn't get rescued?
53
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:53,983
It's tough to say.
54
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,724
There was a decree
to throw them in the river.
55
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,204
Innocent babies?
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00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:58,553
That is not cool.
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00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:01,077
That was Pharaoh,
that was not God.
58
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,688
But according to you,
it's all part of God's plan.
59
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,865
How do you sleep at night?
60
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,737
Okay, we're gonna revisit
getting me some help
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00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,912
with Sunday school.
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00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:12,088
I am ready,
willing, and...
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00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,481
Nope.
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00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,178
I want someone who can
really connect with the kids.
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00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,659
But connecting with the kids
is what I do.
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00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:20,270
What planet are you on?
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00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:24,448
I'm Miss Mary, and I'll be
your Sunday school teacher.
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00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:29,236
Oh, no, you won't. I will.
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00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:31,977
Slithers, that is a lie.
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00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:34,937
And what's another name
for a lie?
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00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:38,593
[hissing]:
A s-s-sin.
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00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,900
Boy did that s-s-suck.
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00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,773
Fine,
what do you have in mind?
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00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,296
It's time we hire
a youth pastor.
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00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,038
Fresh blood.
I like the sound of that.
76
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,909
I already put in
a call to my buddy
77
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:52,215
at the Southern Baptist
Convention.
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00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,435
So, this isn't open
for discussion?
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00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:55,871
It's already happening?
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00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,699
As they say in the rec room
Tuesday nights:
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00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,004
"Bingo!"
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S-s-sorry.
83
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,924
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
84
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:08,797
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
85
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,234
♪ I bet I could be your hero
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00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,715
♪ I am a mighty little man
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00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:18,198
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
88
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,203
♪
89
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Hey, Brenda.
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00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,169
Oh, hey, Connie.
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00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,518
Haven't seen you in a while.
92
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:35,519
Yeah.
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00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:36,825
Sounds like you and George
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00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,000
had a crazy night, huh?
95
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,872
What? No, we didn't.
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00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,179
He has a heart attack,
and you get him to the hospital.
97
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,876
That wasn't crazy?
98
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,922
No.
99
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:50,273
Well, thank God
you were with him.
100
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,928
Well, I-I wouldn't say
I was "with him."
101
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,103
You weren't?
102
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,410
I was there, and he was there,
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00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:59,326
and other people were there.
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00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:00,805
Okay.
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00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,198
[chuckles]You know,
106
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,547
I'm just glad that
he's doing better.
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00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,157
Mm. Yeah.
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00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:07,638
Well, it's good seeing you.
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00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:08,683
You, too.
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00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:24,307
You both liked it that day I
taught Sunday school, right?
111
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,787
Ugh, with the snake?
112
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:26,831
I didn't like it, either.
113
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,137
But I'm critical of most things.
114
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,139
You aren't doing it again,
are you?
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00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:33,316
No. We're hiring
a youth pastor.
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00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,796
Why?
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00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:38,495
To help get young kids
excited about God.
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00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:41,324
The same God who lets babies
get thrown in rivers?What?
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00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,978
We covered Moses
in Sunday school.
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00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:44,501
Oh.
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00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:47,287
Well,
that was Old Testament God.
122
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,766
He gets more fun later.
123
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,333
Anyway, Pastor Jeff
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00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:53,945
is hoping to bring in someone
from the outside to help.
125
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:56,731
Oh, and you're jealous 'cause
you think you can do it better.
126
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,167
No.
127
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,909
I'm sure whoever we get
will do a wonderful job.
128
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,345
She's jealous.
129
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,347
You know it's bad
when I can see it.
130
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,178
What's up?
131
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,658
My smoke detector's
beeping again.
132
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,442
Have you got
one of those little batteries?
133
00:05:12,486 --> 00:05:14,444
I think so. Come on in.Thank you.
134
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:17,534
See, I'm three beeps away
from breaking out my shotgun.
135
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:20,494
[chuckles] I don't even put
batteries in ours anymore.
136
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,670
Do not tell Sheldon.[chuckles]
137
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:25,586
I saw Brenda at
the grocery today.
138
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:26,891
Oh, yeah?
139
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,284
How's she doing?
140
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,938
I don't know.
141
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,331
Something going on
with her?
142
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:33,028
What do you mean?
143
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:35,030
I was just talking about what
happened to y'all at the bar,
144
00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,293
and she kind of got weird.
145
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,382
Weird how?
146
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,384
What'd she say?
147
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,604
Well, it's not so much
what she said.
148
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,171
Just kind of a vibe I got.
149
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:49,349
Well, maybe you made her
uncomfortable. You do have
150
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,437
that effect on people.
151
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,742
I didn't do anything.
152
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,788
I was just being neighborly.
153
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,572
Found it. Here we go.
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00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,835
Hey, anything else?
155
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,489
No.
156
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,099
Well, see you.
157
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,320
See you.
158
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,629
[phone rings]
159
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:09,978
Hello?
160
00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,327
What did you tell Connie?
161
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,546
What do you mean?GEORGE SR.:
She said
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00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:13,764
she saw you
at the grocery store,
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00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:14,852
and you were acting weird.
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00:06:14,896 --> 00:06:16,376
She caught me off guard.
165
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:19,248
She was asking questions
about us hanging out at the bar.
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00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,729
[chuckles]
What did you tell her?Nothing.
167
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:24,079
Well, whatever you said's
got her sniffing around me
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00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,385
like a hound dog
after a polecat.
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00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,430
A hound dog after a polecat?
170
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,432
When I get nervous,
I get extra country.
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00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:32,087
Did you get country
in front of her?No.
172
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,655
So you played it cool.No.
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00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,221
So, we got to get
our stories straight.
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00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,223
Now, wh-what did you tell her?
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00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,877
I told her we weren't together.
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00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,923
I was there, and you were there,
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00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,228
and other people
were there, too.
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00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,100
That's good. That's good.
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00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,275
So, what did you tell her?
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00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,798
I was a little rude
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00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:48,930
and rushed her out of the house.
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00:06:48,973 --> 00:06:51,106
Don't you do that all the time?
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00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:53,587
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I guess we're okay.
184
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,423
I drew up a list
of interview questions
185
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:05,468
we can ask the pastors.
186
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,644
[clicks tongue]
But these are all softballs.
187
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,167
Shouldn't we dig
a little deeper?
188
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,386
Are you kidding me?
189
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,040
"Who's your favorite apostle
and why"
190
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,824
is gonna have them squirming
in their seat.
191
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,479
Oh, please, there are
11 good answers and one bad one.
192
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,829
Mary,
if you're not here to help,
193
00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,178
I can do this on my own.
194
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,224
I am here to help.
I am just saying
195
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,922
that most people see this job
as a stepping stone
196
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,054
to bigger and better oppor...
197
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,534
This is Pastor Andy.
198
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,579
Hi, there.Welcome.
199
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:32,887
Who is my favorite apostle
and why? That is a toughie.
200
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,105
[Andy chuckles]
201
00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,064
Although, I suppose any answer
202
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,631
other than Judas is safe.
203
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,197
[Andy laughs]
204
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:43,506
So, where you from?
205
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,986
Originally Rhode Island.
206
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:47,075
And you're
a Southern Baptist?
207
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,469
I guess
I'm more of a Northern Baptist,
208
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:52,776
but we're all just Baptists,
right? [chuckles]
209
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,082
I'll show him out.
210
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:58,956
So, how do you relate
to young people?
211
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,958
Bad.
212
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,309
Which is what kids these days
say when they mean "good."
213
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:07,878
It's a Michael Jackson song.
[chuckles softly]
214
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,534
Here's another Michael
Jackson song: beat it.
215
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,883
Peg.Sorry.
216
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,495
But she's right.
Thank you for coming.
217
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,805
Can I ask you a question?
218
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:22,719
Mm.
219
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:25,026
Do you have
any women friends?
220
00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,331
Uh-oh.
221
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:28,508
Mary finally wise up
and kick you to the curb?
222
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,639
I'm being serious.
223
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,206
I have plenty of women friends.
224
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,774
Matter of fact,
my best friend's a woman.
225
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:34,992
Are you gonna say your wife?
226
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:35,993
You know I am.
227
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,647
She got in the shower
228
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,735
with me this morning.
229
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:39,997
I don't need to hear that.
230
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,433
How could something
be so clean
231
00:08:41,477 --> 00:08:43,827
and so dirty at
the same time?
232
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,655
I'm sorry I asked.
233
00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:48,571
Are you upset 'cause I said
she was my best friend
234
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,007
and not you?
235
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,182
No.
236
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,183
You're in the top three.
237
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,402
Stop talking to me.
238
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,535
Definitely my best
white friend.
239
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:58,668
[chuckles][chuckles]
Okay.
240
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:01,541
Who is your favorite apostle
and why?
241
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,543
Ooh.
242
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,457
I'm-a say Judas.
243
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,720
What? How?
244
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:08,896
Well, for man to be redeemed,
245
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,854
our Lord had to die.
246
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,029
If Judas
247
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:13,204
hadn't betrayed him,
248
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,685
mankind
wouldn't have been saved.
249
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,382
Pretty cool.
250
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,820
[exhales] I never thought
about it like that.
251
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:22,039
Well, you know, when you come at
things from unexpected angles,
252
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,388
people pay attention more.
253
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,565
It's what I hope to do
with the kids.
254
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,392
[chuckles]:
Well, you got my attention.
255
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,090
Hold on. I'm not sure
256
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:32,963
that we should be teaching
the kids that Judas was cool.
257
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:36,010
Well, I just try to see everyone
the way Jesus would.
258
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,011
Preach.
259
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:38,578
No, no, that's your job.
260
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:42,494
Look, I just want to get
the kids excited about church.
261
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,323
Think of me as the warm-up band
262
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:46,934
before you hit the stage.[Jeff chuckles]
263
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,023
[laughs]I think we just found
our new youth pastor.
264
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,024
[Jeff chuckles]
265
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,242
Can we discuss this?
266
00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:53,462
Of course. When can you start?
267
00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,813
[screaming]
268
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:02,427
Why are you watching
The Ten Commandments?
269
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:04,995
I've just been thinking
about God.Why?
270
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,258
I don't understand how a God
that's supposed to be good
271
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,260
lets such bad things happen.
272
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,958
Oh.
273
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,874
Hmm. Can you think about it
while I watch Yo! MTV Raps?
274
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,440
Sure.Dope.
275
00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:19,793
♪ Bust a move...
276
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,621
Do you believe in God?
277
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,666
Yeah.But in the Bible,
278
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,928
he does all kinds
of mean stuff.
279
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,756
If he's good,
why would he do that?
280
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,454
Maybe he just wants to
show he's in charge.
281
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:30,847
Hulk Hogan's nice,
282
00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:33,937
but in the ring, he
will mess you up.
283
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:36,940
That's either really smart
or really stupid.
284
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,638
That's what I do.
285
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:41,162
Do you ever wonder
if it's all made-up?
286
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,990
Look, this is Texas.
287
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:45,819
We like football.
We like God.
288
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:48,517
And beef. Beef's
up there, too.
289
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,171
But how do you know
there's a God?
290
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,826
See that girl dancing
in them shorts?
291
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,697
♪ Hey, yeah...♪
292
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,220
There's a God.
293
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,528
Excuse me? Pastor Rob.
294
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,225
[exhales]
295
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:04,098
I'm sorry if I came off
a little strong back there.
296
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:07,231
Oh. Hey, you're just trying
to do what's best for the kids.
297
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,711
I respect that.
298
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,757
Thank you.
And I just want you to know
299
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,063
that I am very well-connected
with the parents,
300
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,544
so if I can be
of any help there,
301
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:16,763
please let me know.
302
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:18,721
Yeah, you know, actually,
303
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:20,854
I try not to get too close
to the parents.
304
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,247
I-I just think it's important
for the kids to feel
305
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,553
like I'm on their side.
306
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:26,163
Okay.
307
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,425
Ooh, maybe we could do a, uh,
308
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,340
"good cop, bad cop"
sort of thing.
309
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:31,691
[chuckles]
Why am I the bad cop?
310
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:33,388
Oh, I don't have
all the answers.
311
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,781
Maybe you should ask God.
312
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,957
Really looking forward
to working with you.
313
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,437
[exhales]
314
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,571
[engine starts]
315
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,575
[keyboard clacking]
316
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:48,838
Got a minute?
317
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,405
I'm kind of busy. I'm inventing
318
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,712
a system of heraldry
for two warring tribes of orcs
319
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,061
in my D&D campaign.
320
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,585
Oh. I was hoping
we could talk about atheism.
321
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,979
Much like an orc, I'm all ears.
322
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,155
What's it like
to not believe in God?
323
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,896
It's great. Big fan.
324
00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,419
Are you ever afraid
you're wrong?
325
00:12:04,462 --> 00:12:06,334
About religion? Never.
326
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,728
About other things? Also never.
327
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,730
I don't know.
It seems a little scary
328
00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:11,818
to just stop believing.
329
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,254
Well, is it more comforting
330
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,777
to believe in a God
who could flood the world
331
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,518
and kill everyone
because he had a bad day?
332
00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:18,825
That's a good point.
But doesn't it
333
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,609
upset people
when you say you don't believe?
334
00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:21,741
[chuckles]:
Oh, yeah.
335
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,133
And that doesn't bother you?
336
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,309
Does it bother you
when you upset people?
337
00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:26,746
I couldn't care less.
338
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,095
Welcome to atheism.
339
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,750
Now, if you were an orc,
would you like this flag?
340
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:32,490
[country music playing]
341
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:35,798
Hey, Connie. Usual?
342
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,669
Yeah.
343
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,237
♪ Slow down...
344
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,630
[chuckles]
345
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:44,633
I spend a lot of money here,
right?
346
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,288
[chuckles]You sure do.
347
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,116
So if my son-in-law
348
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,858
was in here
doing something stupid,
349
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:54,991
I should know, right?
350
00:12:55,035 --> 00:12:56,514
I guess.
351
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,952
Before he went to the hospital,
352
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:02,999
was he in here
doing something stupid?
353
00:13:03,826 --> 00:13:05,828
Just hanging out.
354
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,830
Why?No reason.
355
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,790
Just watching
too many soap operas, I guess.
356
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:11,965
[both chuckle]
357
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:15,142
Let's just keep this
between us, okay?
358
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:17,448
Sure thing.
359
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,624
[phone rings]Hello?
360
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,322
Hey, George.
It's Nick from the bar.
361
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:25,108
Why the hell are you asking
questions about me at the bar?
362
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,328
I don't know
what you're talking about.
363
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:28,590
Nick told me everything.
364
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,026
Well, clearly, I was lying.
365
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:37,991
You want to accuse me
of something,
366
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,080
say it to my face.All right, fine.
367
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,472
You have a fight with your wife,
368
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,734
you end up in a bar
with Brenda Sparks,
369
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:45,215
and now you're both acting weird
about it.
370
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,782
There's no story.
371
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,437
We're two people who went
to the same bar. That's it.
372
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,569
That better be it.
373
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,354
Connie, I get it.
You're protecting
374
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:54,398
your daughter, but hear me
375
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,401
when I say nothing happened.
376
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,535
Okay.
377
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:03,755
And I don't appreciate you
snooping around behind my back.
378
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,105
You're absolutely right.
379
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,542
I was wrong to do that.
I'm very sorry.
380
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:11,285
Little ticked at Nick
for blabbing about it, but...
381
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,418
I'm-I'm sorry.
382
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:15,942
Thank you.
383
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,900
We good?
384
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,902
We're good.
385
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:28,432
"We're good" my ass.
386
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:33,481
All right, you two,
get ready for bed.
387
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,396
Church in the morning.I'm not going.
388
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,571
What do you mean,
you're not going?
389
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,399
I don't think
I believe in God anymore.
390
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,009
What did you do to her?
391
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,664
Hey, she came to me. I mean,
I took the ball and ran with it.
392
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,840
Look at you with
a sports analogy.
393
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,016
We're both evolving.
Ooh, evolution.
394
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,757
Another thing
I'll teach you about.
395
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,628
I don't care what you believe.
396
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,413
You are going
to church tomorrow.
397
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,414
I don't want to.
398
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:54,415
It might be fun.
399
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,025
The new youth pastor's starting.
400
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:58,245
So?We can attack
his belief system together.
401
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:00,334
Like the Wonder Twins
of atheism.
402
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,075
See? Your brother's excited.
403
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,555
You just want the new guy
to have a bad day.
404
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,602
I can want two things.
405
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:09,952
[quiet chatter]
406
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,519
Well, hey, y'all.
407
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,390
I'm Pastor Rob.
408
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:16,741
I'm, uh, guessing
everyone knows what this is.
409
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,918
The Bible.That's right. That's right.
410
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,397
What else is it?
411
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:21,572
The word of God.
412
00:15:21,616 --> 00:15:23,444
Excellent. Excellent.
413
00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:26,142
You know what else it is?
414
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:32,888
It's just a book.
415
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,411
[whispers]:
I like him.
416
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,936
It's a good book.
Got lot of great stories.
417
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,763
Instructions
on how to live life.
418
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,156
But...
419
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,813
God is more than just a book.
420
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,337
God is real.
421
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,426
God is everywhere.
422
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:53,953
And God loves you.
423
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,346
[whispers]:
He's losing me.
424
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,742
It ain't pretty,
but it's private.
425
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,265
So,
426
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,266
what's up?
427
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,138
Now, don't freak out,
428
00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:07,792
but Connie was at the bar
asking questions.
429
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:08,793
What the hell?
430
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,099
It's fine. I handled it.
431
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,535
[sighs]We're all good.
432
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:12,623
Well, I hope so.
433
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,016
We are.
434
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,800
But I think we
probably shouldn't go to the bar
435
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,193
at the same time for a while.
436
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:19,239
Okay. You stay home. I'll go.
437
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,415
Why me? That's where I hang out.
438
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,503
I'm single.
439
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,722
Who am I gonna meet
sitting at home?
440
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:27,334
I don't know. Mailman? Plumber?
441
00:16:28,291 --> 00:16:30,119
I've seen a movie
where the pizza delivery boy
442
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,817
does pretty well for himself.
443
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,384
[both chuckle]
444
00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:37,474
Yeah, I bounced around
from job to job after college.
445
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,520
Never really had a plan
for what was next
446
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:44,003
until one day, I felt the Lord
call me to his service.
447
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,092
Yes, Missy Cooper.
448
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,137
Right?How'd you know?
449
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,487
Let's see, Mary's your mother,
Sheldon's your brother,
450
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:53,186
and I hear
you are one heck of a pitcher.
451
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,364
I do my homework, y'all.[whispers]:
Homework. He's winning me back.
452
00:16:57,407 --> 00:16:59,061
So, what's on your mind, Missy?
453
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,107
Is it okay that I'm wondering
if God is real?
454
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:02,369
I can take this one.
455
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:03,326
Yes.
456
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:06,721
He is absolutely right.
457
00:17:06,764 --> 00:17:08,549
He is?I usually am.
458
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:11,769
Can't just believe something
because people say it's true.
459
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,336
You have to question it.
460
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,600
It's kind of like the, uh,
the scientific method,
461
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:17,732
right, Sheldon?
462
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:19,038
Did my homework on you, too.
463
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,301
But what if I decide
he's not real?
464
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:24,391
Look, I'm not asking you
to believe what I believe.
465
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,698
I'm just asking you to think
about what you believe.
466
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,919
Sounds like you're
already doing that.
467
00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:34,531
Yep.What do you know about me?
468
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,533
Hmm. Billy Sparks.
469
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:37,969
Sixth grade.
470
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,755
Also plays baseball,
but maybe not as good as her.
471
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,539
Whoa.
472
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,237
And then Pastor Rob
said it doesn't matter
473
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,587
if I believe in God
'cause God believes in me.
474
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,328
I said the same thing.
475
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:49,590
Not like he did.
476
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,113
SHELDON:
Well, I told him
477
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:52,767
religion isn't objective
and there's no proof for it.
478
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,899
Oh, I bet he didn't like that.
479
00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:55,987
He loved it.
480
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,554
He quoted Kierkegaard
and said
481
00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:59,774
if you could prove it,
there'd be no room for faith.
482
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:03,343
Oh. Well, good for him.
483
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:05,258
He also likes homework.Mm-hmm.
484
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,955
MISSY:
He even threw the Bible
on the floor.
485
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:08,087
MARY:
He what?MISSY: You heard me.
486
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,006
When you were married,
would you have said
487
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:16,834
that Herschel
was your best friend?
488
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:19,837
[scoffs] What married person
would say that?
489
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,143
My buddy Wayne.
490
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,102
Does this buddy of yours
have kids?
491
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:25,104
No.Then what the hell
does he know?
492
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,410
He's a very happy guy.
493
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,151
It's exhausting.
494
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,588
[chuckles]
Ooh, I should get going.
495
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:32,850
Okay.
496
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,114
You want to take a chicken
for the smoker?
497
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:37,116
Do I look like a vegetarian?
498
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,856
[both laugh]BILLY:
Mom?
499
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,250
You out here?Um, I'll-I'll be there
500
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:44,645
in a sec, honey. I'm-I'm
just feeding the chickens.
501
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:47,909
You need some help?No. I'm almost done.
502
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:48,953
Okay.
503
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,614
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