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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:09,467
(theme music playing)
3
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{\an8}(bell ringing)
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00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,400
(whistle blows)
5
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,198
(beeping)
6
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{\an8}(playing the blues)
7
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,089
(tires sreeching)
8
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,518
(honking horn)
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00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,149
D'oh! (screams)
10
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:07,942
(tires screeching)
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{\an8}Whoo-hoo!
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00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:25,043
{\an8}♪ You put the beer in thecoconut and drink it all up ♪
13
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:27,253
{\an8}♪ You put the beerin the coconut ♪
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{\an8}♪ And throw the can away... ♪
15
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{\an8}Homer!
16
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{\an8}♪ You throw the can away... ♪
17
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,676
{\an8}I said, "Homer!"
18
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,595
{\an8}♪ You throw the can away ♪
19
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,597
{\an8}Marge, I'm out of beer.
20
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,391
{\an8}You know, Homie, a lot of men
use their Saturdays
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00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,603
{\an8}to do things around the house.
Hint, hint.
22
00:01:43,686 --> 00:01:46,481
{\an8}But, Marge,
I'm not like other men.
23
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:49,943
{\an8}That's why you buy my pants
at that special store.
24
00:01:50,026 --> 00:01:53,321
{\an8}I'm serious. You never finished
painting the garage...
25
00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:57,367
{\an8}And you could at least
get that snake out of the piano.
26
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,328
{\an8}-(playing dance hall tune)
-(snake hissing)
27
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:03,915
{\an8}Fine. I'll drop everything
I'm doing just for you.
28
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,293
{\an8}But you'll have to live with the
guilt of ruining my Saturday.
29
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,711
{\an8}Can you live with that, Marge?
30
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,255
{\an8}Huh? Can you?
31
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{\an8}-Yup!
-Can you?
32
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,467
{\an8}Oh...
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00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,594
{\an8}FLANDERS: God... bless him!
34
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,018
{\an8}Excuse me, I have
a few questions for Pop.
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{\an8}That's me.
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00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,771
{\an8}You're Pop?
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00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,065
{\an8}No offense, but even
I could kick your ass.
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00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,483
{\an8}Hey, get off my case.
39
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,026
{\an8}The only reason
I'm working here is
40
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,820
{\an8}'cause I'm trying to get
a date with Mom.
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00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,951
{\an8}Look, Pop, I'm planning
some expert home repairs
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{\an8}and I need a pair of
bolt cutters or wire cutters,
43
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,165
{\an8}or something to get
the lock off my toolbox.
44
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,333
{\an8}Aisle one,
next to the cat poison.
45
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:53,298
{\an8}Edna, look. A dimmer switch
could ratchet up the romance
46
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,591
{\an8}in our love nest.
47
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,177
{\an8}You mean
the janitor's closet? Ha!
48
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:59,345
(sighs) What's the matter, Edna?
49
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,056
{\an8}Lately you just say "ha"
to everything.
50
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,975
I want a baby... now.
51
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:09,480
Why don't we continue this
in Pool Supplies?
52
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,108
Hi, I'm Doug Vaccaro.
53
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,484
You know me as Chip,
54
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,861
the wisecracking assistant
55
00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:17,030
on the hit sitcom
Toolin' Around.
56
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,991
(snickering) A man in an apron.
(guffawing)
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00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:23,828
But today, I'm here as a "tool"of Global Dynamics Corp.
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00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,998
You know, installing your ownbarbecue pit is no harder
59
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,959
than adding an aviaryor Olympic-sized swimming pool.
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00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,878
In fact, it's a snap.
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00:03:33,421 --> 00:03:34,923
Or if you're not into chicken...
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00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,257
No, no! I'm into chicken!
63
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,218
How about wild boar,
64
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,552
or swordfish,
65
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,012
or hippo?
66
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,349
Mmm... Hippo.
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00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:46,476
(gurgling)
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00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,353
ANNOUNCER: Light-hearted apronnot included.
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00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:50,355
Snapping fingersmay not make food appear.
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00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,565
{\an8}How about it, Bart?
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00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,193
{\an8}Would you like
a new backyard barbecue pit?
72
00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:56,569
{\an8}Can I burn evidence in it?
73
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,614
We can all burn evidence in it.
74
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:05,453
There. That wasn't so hard,
was it, honey?
75
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,706
Dad, I really need
to rest my back.
76
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,668
OK, sweetie. Daddy'll take over.
77
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,672
Oh, yeah.
That's a fine-looking...
78
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,382
-(contents breaking)
-D'oh!
79
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,008
OK, no big deal.
80
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,468
(straining)
81
00:04:21,552 --> 00:04:22,971
{\an8}(shrieks) Stupid Lisa!
82
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:26,808
(whimpering) I got
to build fast. Cement drying!
83
00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:27,976
All right, let's see.
84
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,353
{\an8}Oh... English side ruined.
85
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,689
{\an8}Must use French instructions.
86
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,274
"Le grille"?
87
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,109
What the hell is that?
88
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,695
Aw, come here... Get... (grunts)
89
00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,196
Come on, fit. You...
90
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,824
(mumbling)
91
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:45,118
Huh? (grunting)
92
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,452
(sighs)
93
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:50,623
{\an8}Yeah, that's one
fine-looking barbecue pit.
94
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,251
Why doesn't mine look like that?
95
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:54,877
(screaming)
96
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,963
Why? (grunts) Why?
97
00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:59,716
Why must life be so hard?
98
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:03,636
Why must I fail
in every attempt at masonry?
99
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,054
(screaming and sobbing)
100
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,348
How's your father's project
coming along?
101
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,683
{\an8}I think he's almost done.
102
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,560
(screaming)
103
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,520
Yeah, he's done.
104
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,985
(clears throat) I'd like
to return this barbecue kit.
105
00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:21,029
All returned items
must be in a box
106
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:22,530
{\an8}and accompanied by a receipt.
107
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,532
Well, if you'll follow
the flashlight,
108
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,785
you'll see the receipt
embedded here, and here,
109
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,621
and elements of the box here,
here, and possibly here.
110
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:32,957
Sorry, I didn't get
this hammer hat
111
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,959
by handing out refunds.
112
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,044
{\an8}Oh!
113
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:38,421
{\an8}(grunting) Come on.
114
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,507
Hold on, there, Santa Claus.
115
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,468
That box is for toys only.
116
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:44,635
Well, of course.
117
00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,763
Any kid would love to have this,
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00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,140
uh, activity center.
119
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,225
It teaches them
while they learn.
120
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:53,478
Yeah, nice try, Saint Nick.
121
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,688
Now, hit the road, Kris Kringle.
122
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,484
-But... but...
-You heard me, "Pear" Noel.
123
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,237
(groans)
124
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,367
{\an8}-What you got there?
-Beanie Baby.
125
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,789
(wheels rattling)
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00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,752
{\an8}I'll never get rid of it.
127
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,629
{\an8}It'll follow me
to the ends of the Earth.
128
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:22,507
(clanking and scraping)
129
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,801
All right! My bumper fell off!
130
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:28,179
-(scraping)
-(honking and tires screeching)
131
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:31,641
Not my fault. Act of God.
Act of God. (laughing)
132
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:36,687
Uh-oh.
133
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,273
Ah...
134
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,401
(tires screeching)
135
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:46,656
♪ Shaving my shoulders ♪
136
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:49,075
♪ I'm getting itall shaved off ♪
137
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,952
Homie, someone's at the door.
138
00:06:51,035 --> 00:06:54,414
They want to talk to you
about some sort of car accident.
139
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,915
Take the kids out back.
140
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,709
I'll handle this.
141
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:01,921
Mr. Simpson?
142
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,300
I believe something of yours
struck my car yesterday.
143
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,635
Oh, yeah. Prove it.
144
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,305
{\an8}That's your license plate,
isn't it?
145
00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,975
Uh...
146
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:15,893
(sobbing)
147
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,438
All right, just go ahead
and sue me!
148
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,939
Everybody else does.
149
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,859
The average settlement
is $68,000.
150
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,278
(chuckling)
I'm not here to sue you.
151
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,321
My name is Astrid Weller.
152
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,739
I own an art gallery
153
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:31,242
and I'd love to display
your piece.
154
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:34,203
You mean this hunk of junk?
This isn't art.
155
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,706
It's just the barbecue
that pushed me over the edge.
156
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:38,332
Didn't you? Didn't you?
157
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:40,835
You stupid... (screams)
158
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,171
Art isn't just pretty pictures.
159
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,923
It's an expression
of raw human emotion.
160
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,800
In your case, rage.
161
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,552
Oh, I got that, lady.
162
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,095
Is everything OK?
163
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,514
I got worried when
I didn't hear any shots.
164
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,391
This lady says I'm an artist.
165
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,351
You? An artist?
166
00:07:57,435 --> 00:08:01,564
Your husband's work
is what we call "outsider art."
167
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,608
It could be by a mental patient,
168
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:06,152
or a hillbilly, or a chimpanzee.
169
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,987
(gasps) In high school,
I was voted
170
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,906
"Most likely to be
a mental patient,
171
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,532
hillbilly, or chimpanzee."
172
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:14,243
Well, you should be
very excited,
173
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,538
because outsider art
couldn't be hotter.
174
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,415
So you'd better catch the fever.
175
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,334
Catch it.
176
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,426
{\an8}(munching)
177
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,178
{\an8}Dad, chew with
your mouth closed.
178
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,222
{\an8}You're losing your mystique.
179
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,600
Lisa, all great artists
love free food.
180
00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,393
Check out Jasper Johns.
181
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:42,522
You squeal on me, I'll kill you.
182
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,275
Mmm. I don't know.
183
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,904
I studied art for years,
but I just don't get this.
184
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:52,698
Sounds like somebody's jealous.
185
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,617
No, I'm not.
186
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,410
I just can't believe some people
187
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:58,162
are paying hundreds of dollars
188
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,915
for something a hillbilly
pulled out of the trash.
189
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:02,917
Hey, I done studied for years
190
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,170
on how to get over
that junkyard fence.
191
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,590
Then I learnt the gate was open.
192
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,718
Smithers, I think I'm in love...
193
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:15,388
-(gasps)
-...with this sculpture.
194
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,974
Sir, that's by Homer Simpson.
195
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,809
I don't think
you want to buy it.
196
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,728
Smithers, years ago,
I blew the chance
197
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,690
to buy Picasso's
Guernica for a song.
198
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,441
Luckily, that song
was "White Christmas."
199
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,777
And by hanging on to it,
I made billions.
200
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,822
Anyway, I love
this hideous thing.
201
00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,157
Young lady, I'll take it.
202
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,159
{\an8}Congratulations, Homer.
203
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,870
{\an8}You're now
a professional artist.
204
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,999
Whoo-hoo!
Look, Marge, my first sale!
205
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,251
In your face Jasper Johns!
206
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,502
Huh?
207
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:54,302
(grunting)
208
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,012
Where are you going
with that junk, Dad?
209
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,888
I'm going to be
an outsider artist.
210
00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,182
That way, I can turn
all these old baseball cards,
211
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,477
Disney memorabilia and antiques
into something valuable.
212
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,731
Homie, I'm really happy
you sold your sculpture,
213
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,983
but don't you think
it may have been a fluke?
214
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,860
Hey, I've always had
an interest in art
215
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,112
dating back
to my schoolgirl days,
216
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:16,407
when I painted portrait
after portrait of Ringo Starr.
217
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,618
That's my life
you're describing.
218
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:22,330
I think I remember
my own life, Marge.
219
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,833
Astrid said the key to my art
is anger, but you know me.
220
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:28,002
-I'm Mr. Mellow.
-BOTH: Hmm?
221
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:31,047
So, I'm giving you kids
permission to get me mad.
222
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,214
Come on. Gimme what you got.
223
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,967
Well, if it'll help, um...
224
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:37,928
Mom found out her engagement
ring is made of rock candy.
225
00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,891
(grunting) Good work, honey.
Keep it coming.
226
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:43,476
Well, I'm flunking math,
and the other day
227
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,144
I was a little attracted
to Milhouse.
228
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:46,937
(yelling)
229
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:50,775
(screaming)
230
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,403
Moe, this is Astrid, my dealer.
231
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,572
And these are my fans,
Gunter, Kyoto
232
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,699
and Cecil
Hampstead-on-Cecil-Cecil.
233
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,619
So, uh, you guys
are Eurotrash, huh?
234
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,537
How's that, uh,
working out for you?
235
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:06,207
Eh, to be honest, we are adrift
236
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:10,336
in a sea of decadent luxury
and meaningless sex.
237
00:11:10,419 --> 00:11:14,674
Uh-huh. So, where might
this sea be located? Hmm?
238
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,133
I must get back to my hotel
239
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,427
and practice
my affectations for tomorrow.
240
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,887
[in French] Bon soir.
241
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,472
[in English] What do we
owe you, Moe?
242
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:22,598
Nothing, nothing.
243
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,183
Just give me a priceless sketch
244
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:26,018
with a certificate
of authenticity.
245
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,521
All right. (mumbling)
246
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:31,065
Hey, Moe, could I pay
with a drawing?
247
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:32,900
Yeah, nice try, there, 12-step.
248
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,360
Aw!
249
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,535
Uh, Homer, you're making us
a little bit uncomfortable.
250
00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:46,247
Relax, big guy. He's just doing
this for his art. Right, Homer?
251
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,625
{\an8}Oh, yeah... art.
252
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,879
Why won't you be art? (grunts)
253
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,131
Here he is.
254
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,175
This is where the magic happens.
255
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,427
Wonderful news, Homer.
256
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,803
Is it about pies?
257
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,805
Uh, um, no.
258
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:07,101
We're going to hold a show
devoted entirely to you.
259
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:12,231
Wow. It's like Marge's dream
come true for me.
260
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,942
Isn't that great, Marge? For me.
261
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,444
(Marge groaning)
262
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,407
Look, Marge. They're advertising
my show in Art in America.
263
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:24,869
It's the first time I've been
mentioned there that I know of.
264
00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:26,912
I'm happy for you.
Now, good night.
265
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,247
Good night.
266
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,750
You're upset about something.
267
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,626
Is this about that trip
Barney and I took
268
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:34,044
to Machu Picchu?
269
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,129
Now, Homer,
270
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,964
being an artist was my dream.
271
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,467
But now, without even trying,
272
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,926
you've accomplished
more in a week
273
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,970
than I have in my whole life.
274
00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,556
Aw, honey,
I've always liked your art.
275
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:48,726
Your paintings look like
the things they look like.
276
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,352
That's sweet, but...
277
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:52,146
How would you like it if I,
278
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,483
I don't know,
entered a belching contest?
279
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,401
Frankly, I'd be
a little turned on.
280
00:12:57,485 --> 00:13:00,029
(sighs) You don't understand.
281
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:03,324
Marge, I've screwed up
everything I've ever done.
282
00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,493
I mean, look at Bart.
283
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,369
But I finally found something
284
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,997
where people worship me
for screwing up,
285
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,916
and that feels pretty good.
286
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:13,667
{\an8}I guess nothing else matters
287
00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:15,586
{\an8}as long as you're happy.
288
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,589
Now you're making sense.
Good night.
289
00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:24,178
{\an8}(Homer snoring)
290
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:27,765
(indistinct chattering)
291
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,896
-Then I bought a Rembrandt.
-(burps)
292
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,901
Homer is the most dangerous
artist on the Springfield scene.
293
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,363
Now, let's see what surprises
he has for us tonight.
294
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,490
(applause)
295
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,492
I give you "botched hibachi."
296
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,119
The tricycle's on loan from
the Maggie Simpson collection.
297
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,373
This piece I call
"failed shelving unit
298
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,209
with stupid, stuck chainsaw
and applesauce."
299
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:58,462
And finally,
my thing de resistance,
300
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,674
"attempted birdhouse one."
301
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:04,218
(cawing)
302
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,387
(appalled murmuring)
303
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:09,723
Shall we start the bidding at,
say, $10,000?
304
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:12,268
(indistinct throat-clearing)
305
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,854
{\an8}All right, how about a million?
306
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,898
{\an8}I'll give you two bucks for
the bird if it's still alive.
307
00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,235
What's going on here?
308
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,987
You weirdos love this stuff.
309
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:26,240
Homer, I'm afraid they only
love what's new and shocking.
310
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,909
These pieces are just like
your earlier work.
311
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,662
You've gone from hip to boring.
312
00:14:31,745 --> 00:14:34,456
Why don't you call us
when you get to kitsch?
313
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,875
(strained laugh)
314
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,585
Come on, Gunter, Kyoto.
315
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,504
If we hurry, we can still catch
the heroin craze. Mm.
316
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,257
Wait! Come back!
I'm a God to you!
317
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:44,550
Worship me
318
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,510
or fear my wrath!
319
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,263
Oh, please, fear my wrath!
320
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,806
Please!
321
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,683
Call me.
322
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,563
{\an8}I don't get it.
323
00:14:57,646 --> 00:15:00,316
Why don't people
like my art anymore?
324
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,026
Homer, I know you worked hard,
325
00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:06,113
but all of your things
were kind of the same.
326
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:08,574
Hey, Ray Jay Johnson
never changed his act.
327
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,868
And he's more popular now
than he's ever been.
328
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:11,869
Who?
329
00:15:11,952 --> 00:15:13,120
♪ You can call him Ray ♪
330
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,039
♪ Or you can call him Jay ♪
331
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,041
♪ Or you can call him Ray-Jay ♪
332
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,542
♪ But you doesn't have to... ♪
333
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,336
I'm sick of him already.
334
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,756
The point is, great artists
are always trying new things.
335
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,634
Like Michelangelo,
or Shaquille O'Neal.
336
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:29,219
You just need some inspiration.
337
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:34,058
It's so exciting to do
something cultural together.
338
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:37,478
Matt Groening?
What's he doing in a museum?
339
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,396
He can barely draw.
340
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,566
Ow! Oh, no! I'm being erased!
341
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,819
Move it, bub. We got
an installation to installate.
342
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,657
Mm, a Claes Oldenburg.
343
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,242
{\an8}He's a European
who defied convention
344
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,703
{\an8}and embraced
American popular culture.
345
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,038
(whistles)
346
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,707
He must be 100 feet tall.
347
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,461
Now this is a Joseph Turner.
348
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,214
In an era when everyone else
painted portraits,
349
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,342
he broke away by painting
the Venetian canals.
350
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,845
It's glorious. The streets are
paved with water.
351
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,847
You could ride a walrus to work.
352
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:17,267
And Picasso started out
painting realistically,
353
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:18,936
then moved on to cubism.
354
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,021
By the end of his life,
he was just painting
355
00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:22,815
crank letters to the editor.
356
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,109
{\an8}they call it his
"angry jerk" period.
357
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,569
(gurgling)
358
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,738
Mm... Split-pea.
359
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,657
(gasping) With ham!
360
00:16:31,740 --> 00:16:33,450
Any ideas yet?
361
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,869
No. These guys are geniuses.
362
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:39,289
I could never think of something
like soup or a pencil.
363
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,916
Oh!
364
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,669
I'm just going to rest
for a minute.
365
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,172
(snoring)
366
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,468
(growling)
367
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:52,803
(sniffing)
368
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,014
What the... Who the... Hey!
369
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,432
(karate yell)
370
00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:01,520
(yelping) You're mean.
371
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,857
(playing happy Spanish music)
372
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:08,068
-(guns cocking)
-Hasta la vista, baby!
373
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:09,236
(machine gun firing)
374
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:12,197
(moaning)
375
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,075
Hmm? (groans) What the...
376
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,660
Ew!
377
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,495
(gasps) D'oh!
378
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:22,708
(grunts) Soup's on, fat boy.
379
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,586
Ow! (screams) No!
380
00:17:25,669 --> 00:17:28,756
{\an8}Ow! No! Ow! No. No.
381
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,592
-Andy, no!
-Homer. Homer!
382
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,678
Marge! Oh, why does art hate me?
383
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,764
I never did anything to art.
384
00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,265
Oh. Let's get out of here.
385
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:43,228
Well, Dad, if the museum
didn't inspire you,
386
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:46,356
maybe you should do something
really radical, like Christo.
387
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,608
Is he that jerk that revealed
388
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,984
the magician's secrets?
389
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,111
No. Christo is
a conceptual artist
390
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,322
who does huge outdoor projects.
391
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,741
He once wrapped
the Reichstag in plastic.
392
00:17:55,824 --> 00:17:57,701
Not the Reichstag!
393
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,454
Oh, yes, and he also set up
hundreds of yellow umbrellas
394
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:03,373
-along the California highway.
-Why did he do that?
395
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,126
To make the world a more
magical place, I guess,
396
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,670
Although they did blow over
and kill some people.
397
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,214
Killer umbrellas?
398
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:11,924
Of course.
399
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,634
Exquisite.
400
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:15,427
No, Dad. No. My point is,
you have to do
401
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,387
something big and daring.
402
00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,723
Big? Daring? Lisa, that's it!
403
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:22,476
I've got an idea
for a wonderful art project
404
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:24,436
that'll make everyone
love me again.
405
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,773
Step one, steal all
the doormats in town.
406
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,359
Hit the road, "Welcome home."
407
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,028
Adios , "Casa de Flanders."
408
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,156
See ya in hell,
"God bless this house."
409
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,118
So long, "The Simpsons."
410
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,410
D'oh!
411
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,456
HOMER: Step two,snorkel the animals.
412
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:52,297
{\an8}(panting) It wasn't easy
But I got all the grizzlies.
413
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,050
Great. I'll do the pony
while you do the lions.
414
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,010
Make sure you
strap 'em on real tight.
415
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,096
Now, step three.
416
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,851
Are you sure this is art
and not vandalism?
417
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,353
That's for the courts
to decide, son.
418
00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:09,648
-(water gurgling)
-(birds chirping)
419
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,900
(creaking)
420
00:19:13,026 --> 00:19:15,404
HOMER: Wake up!Wake up, Springfield!
421
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:18,407
I've got a surprise for you.
422
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,701
Oh, Lord, what now?
423
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,035
(dolphin clicking)
424
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,745
Oh, that can't be good.
425
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,539
People of Springfield,
426
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,499
behold, my latest work!
427
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:30,294
Homer, what have you done?
428
00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:31,879
It's conceptual art.
429
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,881
The grand canals of Springfield.
430
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:37,009
Just like Venice, without the
black plague. What do you think?
431
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,469
I think some people
are going to be upset.
432
00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,263
I love it, Homer.
433
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:44,099
You've turned this town
into a work of art.
434
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,519
I just wish Jasper Johns
hadn't stolen my boat.
435
00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,771
-(screams)
-So long, suckers!
436
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:51,857
Well, they're in the business.
437
00:19:51,940 --> 00:19:54,943
Real people might not be
so understanding.
438
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,778
FLANDERS: What the flood?
439
00:19:57,112 --> 00:19:59,114
Maude, it's a miracle!
440
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,866
The Lord has drowned the wicked
441
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,743
and spared the righteous.
442
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:05,078
(gasps) Isn't that
Homer Simpson?
443
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:09,416
{\an8}Ugh. Looks like heaven's easier
to get into than Arizona State.
444
00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:14,463
Oh! I hate these flood pants.
445
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,509
Hey! They're working!
446
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,638
My feet are soaked,
but my cuffs are bone-dry.
447
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,474
Everything's comin' up,
Milhouse.
448
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,771
BURN VICTIMS: Ah...
449
00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:36,526
[singing in Italian]
♪ Arrivederci ♪
450
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,737
♪ Roma ♪
451
00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:45,327
Edna, I'm going to
pop you a question.
452
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:48,330
I hope the answer is yes.
453
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:50,624
Do you think mother would like
this hat pin?
454
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,043
Oh... yes.
455
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,213
Oh, you've made me
the happiest man on Earth.
456
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,766
Well, Homer, I have to admit,
457
00:21:07,849 --> 00:21:10,727
you created something
people really love.
458
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,729
You truly are an artist.
459
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:16,441
No, I'm just a nut
who couldn't build a barbecue.
460
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,236
You'll always be
the artist in the family.
461
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:20,737
Aw.
462
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,197
-Is that our house?
-Yep.
463
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,075
-And is that us on the roof?
-That's us.
464
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:27,202
Are we kissing?
465
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,997
Ooh, I don't know. Could be.
466
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,207
I need some inspiration.
467
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:39,089
[singing in Italian]
♪ Arrivederci ♪
468
00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:41,008
♪ Roma ♪
469
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:42,926
JASPER JOHNS: Yoink.
470
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:49,725
♪ It's time for us to part ♪
471
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:57,024
♪ Save the wedding bellsfor my returning ♪
472
00:21:57,107 --> 00:22:01,987
♪ Keep my lover's armsoutstretched and yearning ♪
473
00:22:02,070 --> 00:22:06,658
♪ Please be sure the flameof love keeps burning ♪
474
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:10,829
♪ In her heart ♪
475
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:32,517
(audience murmuring)
476
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,602
Shh!
477
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:38,523
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services
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