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CHORUS:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,844
(theme music playing)
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00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,935
(bell ringing)
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00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,358
(whistle blowing)
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(playing the blues)
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(honking horn)
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D'oh.
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(screams)
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(all screaming)
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00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,252
{\an8}And as we pass
the collection plate,
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{\an8}please give as though the person
next to you were watching.
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00:01:29,881 --> 00:01:34,928
{\an8}Whew. Oh, man, this is
the hottest Easter ever.
13
00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,097
{\an8}Even that praying mantis is losing it.
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00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:39,390
{\an8}(groaning)
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{\an8}Thank you, Helen.
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00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:45,605
{\an8}And thank you all
for you kind contrib-- ah!
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00:01:46,147 --> 00:01:47,482
{\an8}A chocolate bunny?
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00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,568
{\an8}Who put this wicked idol
in the collection plate?
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00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:51,486
{\an8}(all gasp)
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{\an8}Relax. I found it in the dumpster.
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{\an8}Perhaps we need
a hefty dose of the good book.
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{\an8}(Marge moaning)
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{\an8}"In the beginning..."
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{\an8}Excuse me, Reverend,
25
00:02:02,747 --> 00:02:05,041
{\an8}it's hard to hear you
with those fans going.
26
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,918
{\an8}Well, let's get those off then.
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00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,294
{\an8}(Homer moaning) Oh!
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00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:11,506
{\an8}"In the beginning, God created
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00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,758
the heavens and the Earth..."
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LOVEJOY: Which brings us back to our...
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(snoring softly)
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Ooh! Ooh!
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00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,477
(animals purring, calling)
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00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,444
What a beautiful garden.
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00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,405
{\an8}It's almost like paradise.
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{\an8}HOMER: Heads up!
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Whee!
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{\an8}(gasps)
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{\an8}Well, hello.
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{\an8}Aren't you hurt?
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00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,668
{\an8}Of course not.
There's no pain in the Garden of Eden.
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00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,754
{\an8}Hey, you must be Eve.
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00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,131
{\an8}I guess.
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00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:56,718
{\an8}Looks like God made you
out of my sexiest rib.
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{\an8}(growls)
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{\an8}Speaking of ribs,
is there any grub around here?
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{\an8}Is there?
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{\an8}(English accent) Good morning, Adam.
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00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,392
{\an8}Any bacon for you then?
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00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:05,852
{\an8}Don't mind if I do.
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00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,815
(Flanders's voice)
Hi-diddly-ho, paradise dwellers.
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00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:11,816
Good morning, Lord.
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00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,234
{\an8}I just have to compliment you
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00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,862
{\an8}on this beautifully-crafted mate.
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{\an8}Oh, Adam, you're too kind.
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00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:20,533
{\an8}No, you're too kind...
And wise and righteous.
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00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,410
{\an8}I can't believe
you don't have a girlfriend.
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00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:25,455
{\an8}Oh, please, you're going
to give me a swelled head.
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00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,457
{\an8}I just stopped by to see
if you needed anything.
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00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,585
{\an8}Well, some general-interest
magazines would be nice.
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00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,545
{\an8}You got it, Eve.
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00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:33,463
{\an8}There you go.
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00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,714
{\an8}Oh, thanks.
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00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:35,882
{\an8}I better skedaddle.
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00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,384
{\an8}Oh, there's one more
weensy little thing.
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00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,053
See that tree over there?
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00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,721
I hate to be a Bossy Betty,
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00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,182
but I have to forbid you
to eat its fruit.
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00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:46,434
No problem, Lord,
and it would be even easier
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00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,520
to avoid that temptation
if I had a few extra wives.
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00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,438
(growling)
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00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:52,357
I'm just saying.
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00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,691
Oh, how cute!
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00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,818
Let's call this little
guy a groundhog.
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00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,780
Sorry, I already gave
him a name-- land monster.
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00:03:58,863 --> 00:03:59,781
Really?
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00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:01,908
What do you call
that thing on the branch?
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00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,284
(hissing)
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00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,202
Branch monster.
80
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,871
Please, please,
call me snake.
81
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:09,165
Yo, have you dudes
sampled this fruit?
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00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,043
It's, like, god's private stash.
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00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,544
But he said it was forbidden.
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00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,587
Quite so, mum.
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00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,714
I recall one of the dinosaurs had a bite.
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00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,300
And, well, that was the last of-- egad.
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00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,140
Please stop eating that.
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00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,725
God's going to be furious.
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00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,560
You're pretty uptight
for a naked chick.
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00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,187
You know what would loosen you up?
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00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,689
A little fruit.
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00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,067
Well, it is a sin to waste food.
93
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,611
And you keep saying we need
to do things together.
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00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:40,488
Hmm.
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00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:45,743
Mmm! This could really spice up
those pies I've been making.
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00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:46,661
(thunder)
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00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,121
-What the dickens?
-(gasps)
98
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:51,666
Eve, did you taste
of the forbidden fruit?
99
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,876
(whistling)
100
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,420
Yes, God.
101
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:57,880
Doggone it, Eve.
102
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,383
I think you'd better
hightail it out of this garden.
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00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,260
Adam, say something.
104
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:05,555
Uh, uh, I think we should
see other people.
105
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,766
You heard me! Vamoose!
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00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,234
Oh!
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00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,778
Usually, a mink massage
makes me feel better,
108
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,697
but something's missing now.
109
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,032
I didn't say stop.
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00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:27,160
Lovely day in paradise,
isn't it?
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00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,537
Yeah, just like yesterday.
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00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:32,081
Today, I'm featuring
mouth-watering pork ribs.
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00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,207
Tuck in, then.
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00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,127
Oh.
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00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:39,130
I gave a rib to Eve
and now she's gone forever.
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00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,257
One whole rib, and still standing.
117
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,508
Well, aren't you
the plucky one, sir.
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00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,635
Come on!
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00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,054
Oh, poor Eve.
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00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,723
What are you doing out there
in that horrible place?
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00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,059
I'm toiling.
What does it look like?
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00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:52,852
This is my fault.
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00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,270
I should have
stood up for you
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00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,605
during that whole
Applegate thing.
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00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,774
It's a little late
for apologies now.
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00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:58,941
Don't say that.
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00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,485
Maybe I can
sneak you back in.
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00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,736
I mean, God can't be
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00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,113
everywhere at once, right?
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00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:08,451
(whistling "Alexander's
Ragtime Band")
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00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:09,702
Somebody order a hole?
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00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,371
Oh, that's a tight squeeze.
133
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,082
(panting)
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00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,750
Oh, thank you.
135
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:16,751
Are you okay?
136
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,252
I'll be fine. (panting)
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00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,879
Just give me a second to... Ah!
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00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,673
-(gasps)
-Come on, Eve. Hurry!
139
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:29,222
Oh, my dear, sweet Eve.
140
00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,181
I love you even more
141
00:06:30,264 --> 00:06:33,059
than the butterscotch pond
or the porno bush.
142
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,227
(thunder)
143
00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:37,980
So, this is how you repay me, Adam!
144
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,818
And after I created my fingers
to the bone for you!
145
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:42,735
I...
146
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,987
Ahh! My unicorn!
147
00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,824
Oh, what have they
done to you, Gary?
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00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,951
Oh, there, there.
149
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:52,370
I'm sure he's gone
to a better place, Lord.
150
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,996
Oh, shut up!
151
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,665
You are so banished!
152
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:58,292
Hey, now, let's not
do anything rash.
153
00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,752
God is love, right?
154
00:07:00,336 --> 00:07:01,504
(yells)
155
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,839
God, you have every right
156
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,882
to flip me out, too,
but before you...
157
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,134
(yells)
158
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,219
Oh, my back!
159
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,847
So this must be that pain thing.
160
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:11,931
(yells)
161
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,350
Oh, yeah, definitely pain.
162
00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,896
(howling)
163
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,314
This sucks.
164
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,151
Things were so much better
back in the garden.
165
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,070
I'm sure God
will let us return soon.
166
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,115
I mean, how long
can he hold a grudge?
167
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,909
"...forever... and ever...
168
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,622
and ever and..."
169
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,627
...and that concludes Genesis,
170
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:45,506
the first of the 66 books
of the Bible.
171
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:48,509
Moving on to Exodus...
172
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:49,677
(yawning)
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00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,936
♪ And Abraham begat Isaac ♪
174
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,771
♪ And Isaac begat Jacob ♪
175
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,940
♪ And who did he begat? ♪
176
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:07,653
All right, let's go,
you wee Israelites.
177
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,614
Back to slaving.
178
00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:10,948
(all groaning)
179
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,248
Man, captivity blows.
180
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,458
Talk to the whip.
181
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:21,959
(Bart grunts)
182
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:24,629
(horses neighing)
183
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,715
On your knees, you mugs.
It's the Pharaoh!
184
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,342
(sighs)
185
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:31,427
Ah, excellent progress,
slave-driver Willie.
186
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:32,762
Kudos on your whipping.
187
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,055
Oh, he noticed!
188
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,766
Oy! Suffering sarcophagus!
189
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:37,767
My tomb!
190
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,269
Who did this?
191
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,604
(snickering)
192
00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:42,813
Come on, confess.
193
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,358
Don't make me slay all
the firstborn males again.
194
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,235
(deep voice) Bart did it.
195
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,861
I saw him do it.
196
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,781
Take him away, boys.
197
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,492
No, the bush set me up!
198
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,494
As for the rest of you,
199
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:58,621
it's time
for a little discipline.
200
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,831
Slave driver, put away
the encouragement whip
201
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,667
and break out the cruel whip.
202
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:05,962
(all gasping)
203
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,090
(whips cracking)
204
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,926
Ha! That's
the new omni-lash, boys.
205
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,095
Just look at that snapback.
206
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:15,096
Yeah, sweet.
207
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,056
We can't keep living like this.
208
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,850
Moses, ask Pharaoh
to let your people go.
209
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,436
Oh, now they're my people.
210
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,691
Scrub harder, slave.
211
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,776
I want to be able
to eat off that thing.
212
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:30,903
And make it snappy.
213
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:31,904
It's almost lunchtime.
214
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:34,782
LISA: Excuse me. Uh...
215
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:37,451
Pharaoh, I think Moses
here has something to ask you.
216
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,412
Go.
217
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:40,580
Let-my-people-go.
218
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,832
Let your people go?
219
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,959
I've never heard
such insolence.
220
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,378
You call yourselves slaves?
221
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,463
(grunts)
222
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:54,385
Well, the ball's
in his court now.
223
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:58,889
All right, read me back
what I have so far, Mrs. Krabapatra.
224
00:09:58,973 --> 00:09:59,807
Bird, bird,
225
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,601
Giant eye, pyramid, bird.
226
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,227
Mm-hmm. Very good.
227
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,898
Uh, giant eye, dead fish,
cat head, cat head, cat head...
228
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,358
Guy doing this...
229
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:10,943
(frogs croaking)
230
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,612
What the--
231
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,780
Keep that plague coming, Moses.
232
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,240
Frogs away!
233
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,576
(laughing)
234
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,037
We spent all our money,
but it was worth it.
235
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,830
Now he's got to let us go.
236
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,752
Mmm, these are the juiciest
frogs I've ever eaten.
237
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,714
Ra has rewarded my cruelty
to the slaves.
238
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,591
It's a plague, you moron!
239
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,134
And we've got
lots more planned.
240
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,719
And there's nothing
you can do about it!
241
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,349
-(screaming)
-So long, kids.
242
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,060
Give my regards
to the British museum.
243
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,561
(laughing)
244
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:47,396
-Whoa!
-Whoa!
245
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:49,398
(both grunting)
246
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,736
Do you think we could ever
be more than just friends?
247
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,488
Not now, Moses.
248
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,323
We got to find
a way out of here.
249
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,539
I know we built a secret passage
250
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,874
in here somewhere.
251
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,042
I found it!
252
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,752
We're out of here.
253
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,507
Uh-oh.
254
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,135
(both screaming)
255
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,640
Eh, slave labor.
You get what you pay for.
256
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,022
Whee!
257
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,524
Whee!
258
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,318
-(blows horn)
-Huh?
259
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:37,446
Our time has come!
260
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,864
Follow me to freedom!
261
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:40,991
(horn blowing)
262
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:43,828
(distant horn blowing)
263
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,831
WIGGUM: Hey, Pharaoh,
264
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:50,126
those half-pint slaves
are exodusing as we speak.
265
00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:52,670
Well, I say good riddance
to bad rubbish.
266
00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,506
Okay. But who's going
to build your pyramids?
267
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,425
Well, we-- (gasps) After them!
268
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:01,929
Oh, we'll never be able
to swim that far.
269
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,349
(horses neighing)
270
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,600
Oy, carumba.
271
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,769
Screw this. I'm converting.
272
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,105
Save us, o mighty Ra!
273
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:14,108
Hey! Cut that out. I have an idea.
274
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,610
All right, Moses, lead your people.
275
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,281
Flush!
276
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,199
(roar of flushing)
277
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,250
It's a miracle!
I performed a miracle!
278
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,877
I'm a genius!
279
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,420
Yeah, yeah. Hurry, everyone!
280
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,796
We don't have much time!
281
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,258
After them, men!
282
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,302
Into the temporarily-dry sea!
283
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,850
Ah, nuts.
284
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,394
(screaming)
285
00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,779
Hey, chief, he splashed me.
286
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,156
Look, nobody likes
a crybaby, okay?
287
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:03,616
You just splash him back.
288
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,201
(kids cheering)
289
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:10,206
Well, Lisa, we're out of Egypt.
290
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,875
So, what's next for the Israelites?
291
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,418
Land of milk and honey?
292
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,170
Hmm, well, actually, it looks like
293
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,798
we're in for 40 years
of wandering the desert.
294
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,966
Forty years?
295
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:25,554
But after that, it's clear
sailing for the Jews, right?
296
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:28,849
Uh... more or less.
Hey, is that manna?
297
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,142
(kids cheering)
298
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,694
Now we come to King Solomon
299
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,988
whose wisdom was
like a drill...
300
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,616
boring into the rock of injustice.
301
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:51,622
LOVEJOY: Boring... boring...
boring...
302
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,041
(yawns)
303
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,754
King Solomon,
these men need you
304
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,422
to settle a dispute.
305
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,425
They each claim ownership
of this pie.
306
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,386
(sighs)
307
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,972
The pie shall be cut in two.
308
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:14,019
Then each man shall receive...
death.
309
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,312
(sighs)
310
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,939
I'll eat the pie.
311
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,235
Okay, next up,
312
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,363
"Jesus Christ versus
Checker Chariot."
313
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,457
Oh, Dad, you're
sitting on my arm.
314
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:36,917
(grunting)
315
00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:39,336
"And after David smote Goliath
316
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,755
the people crowded
into the temple
317
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,425
where a cool breeze blew not.
318
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,386
And their hearts were
filled with crankiness."
319
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,763
And...
320
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:56,604
I'm bored. Send in my jester.
321
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:00,524
Hey, hey! King David!
How you doing?
322
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,360
Now, I'm not saying
Jezebel's easy,
323
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:07,197
but before she moved to Sodom,
it was known for its pottery!
324
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:08,240
(laughs)
325
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,241
What else you got?
326
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,492
Uh, wait a minute.
327
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,119
I got something
on the Canaanites.
328
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,205
Uh...
They are so stupid...
329
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,751
(gasping and groaning)
330
00:15:21,795 --> 00:15:23,839
Methuselah, my oldest friend...
331
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,007
Who did this to you?
332
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,050
(groaning)
333
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,011
Oh... it was Goliath.
334
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,679
But Goliath is dead.
335
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,264
I smote him myself.
336
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,557
I smoted him good.
337
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:37,102
No! It was his son, Goliath Two.
338
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,940
No!
339
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,442
Goliath Two is gonna pay.
340
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:46,362
And this time, it's biblical.
341
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,120
{\an8}(typewriter clacking)
342
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,583
I'll just give Goliath Two
the old rock
343
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:00,918
to the head applause, applause,
344
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:01,835
you got to believe in yourself,
345
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,587
stay in school and we're out of here.
346
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,340
I don't know, Davey.
347
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,424
Quiet, you.
348
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:10,719
Oh, you've gotten pretty fat, Davey.
349
00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:11,804
-(stomping)
-(gasping)
350
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,641
Let's get it on.
351
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,850
See you later, Davey.
352
00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:20,270
You killed my best friend.
353
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:22,481
CROWD: Ooh.
354
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,859
You killed my father,
who was like a best friend.
355
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,861
CROWD: Ooh!
356
00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:32,533
All I need is my trusty sling
and one good, hard...
357
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:33,575
Um...
358
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,911
Say... how's tomorrow for you?
359
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:37,955
(grunting)
360
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:44,503
(screams)
361
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,672
What say you now, Goliath?
362
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,173
Without your precious hair,
363
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,759
you no longer possess
your fantastic strength!
364
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,803
That's Samson, idiot.
365
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:55,889
Whoa!
366
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,517
(all gasp)
367
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,772
Let my proclamation
go out across the land!
368
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,149
Ha-ha!
369
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,650
CROWD: Ha-ha!
370
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,028
(screaming)
371
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:12,448
Oh... I hope this doesn't get
into the Bible.
372
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,991
You're King David.
373
00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:16,326
I love you 'cause
you kill people.
374
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,787
Get yourself another hero, kid.
375
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,581
I'm all washed up.
376
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:24,376
Well, I guess it's up to Ralph
to stop Goliath.
377
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,211
(sheep bleating)
378
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,589
(Ralph humming)
379
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,679
Goliath Two is really gonna pay.
380
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:38,724
Get ready to meet
the first action hero.
381
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:40,851
(sheep bleating)
382
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:42,644
♪ Winner takes it all ♪
383
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:44,813
♪ Till he breaks the fall ♪
384
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:48,108
♪ I'm trying to make itover the top... ♪
385
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,446
(grunts)
386
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,699
{\an8}(teletype clacking)
387
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:58,410
{\an8}BART: All right,
it's giant slayin' time.
388
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,499
(gasps)
389
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:04,458
Oops.
390
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,337
(man grunts)
391
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:09,922
Crap.
392
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,593
Hmm...
393
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:16,970
How am I supposed
to get up there?
394
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,353
(loud burp echoing)
395
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:29,650
Jonah!
396
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:30,567
Oh!
397
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,778
You died the way you lived...
398
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,279
Inside a whale.
399
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,115
(gasps)
400
00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:39,660
Hmm...
401
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,329
(grunting)
402
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,378
I trampled four
giant-slayers today.
403
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:51,171
I think I earned this.
404
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,006
Don't you know
405
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,633
smoking stunts your growth?
406
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,095
Well, well, well, if it isn't
the little prince.
407
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,638
I'm not afraid of you, Goliath.
408
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,975
Before I was arrogant,
but now, my heart is humble
409
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:04,143
and my spirit is...
410
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:05,435
Oh!
411
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,187
(whimpering)
412
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,274
What do you know?
A king fit for a meal.
413
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,985
(whimpering)
414
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:15,571
Hope I don't give you...
Heartburn!
415
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,949
(screams)
416
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,715
Great news, everyone. Goliath is dead!
417
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,258
Although I haven't seen his body,
418
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,927
the blast that failed to kill me
surely killed the giant.
419
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,554
Anyhoo...
420
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:42,139
Now that I'm your king again...
421
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,558
(roaring)
422
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,143
(screaming)
423
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,070
Ralph, I thought you were dead.
424
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:58,238
Nope.
425
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,324
BART: Rejoice, good people!
426
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:03,243
Goliath the terrible
shall rule no more!
427
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,829
But Goliath was the greatest
king we ever had.
428
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:06,747
What?
429
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:09,666
He built roads,
hospitals, libraries...
430
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:13,003
To us, he was Goliath
the Consensus Builder.
431
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:15,923
You're under arrest
for megacide.
432
00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:22,512
Where's your messiah now?
433
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,264
(crowd laughing)
434
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,487
(exclaims)
435
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,572
(snoring)
436
00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:45,160
Everyone's gone!
437
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,870
How embarrassing.
438
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,039
Ooh, we slept right
through church.
439
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,416
Eh, it's not the end of the world.
440
00:20:56,713 --> 00:20:58,507
(gasping)
441
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,926
(evil laughter)
442
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,305
Oh, no! It's the apocalypse!
443
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,599
Bart, are you wearing
clean underwear?
444
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,725
Not anymore.
445
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:09,977
It's the rapture
446
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,062
and I never knew true love.
447
00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:14,231
I never used those
pizza coupons!
448
00:21:16,858 --> 00:21:18,819
(choral music playing)
449
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,448
Why aren't we
ascending into heaven?
450
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:24,533
(thunder rumbling)
451
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,743
Oh, right... The sins.
452
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:29,329
-(choral music playing)
-(exclaims)
453
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:30,330
(choral music stops)
454
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,707
Where do you think
you're going, missy?
455
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:32,624
Dad!
456
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,334
(all scream)
457
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:39,006
Whoo, I smell barbecue!
458
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,258
(giggling) Hey, look!
459
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:44,469
(Homer screaming in terror)
460
00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,680
Oh, they're out of hot dogs!
461
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,100
And the cole slaw
has pineapple in it!
462
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,310
(screaming)
463
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,061
German potato salad!
464
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,606
♪ I'm on the highwayto hell ♪
465
00:21:57,482 --> 00:22:00,402
♪ On the highway to hell ♪
466
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,740
♪ Highway to hell ♪
467
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:08,618
♪ I'm on the highwayto hell ♪
468
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,875
♪ No stop signs ♪
469
00:22:15,208 --> 00:22:16,835
♪ Speed limit ♪
470
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:20,172
♪ Nobody's gonnaslow me down ♪
471
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:24,843
♪ Like a wheel, gonna spin it ♪
472
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:29,097
♪ Nobody's gonnamess me around ♪
473
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:33,435
♪ Hey Satan, paid my dues ♪
474
00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:37,189
♪ Playing in a rocking band ♪
475
00:22:37,731 --> 00:22:41,318
♪ Hey mama, look at me ♪
476
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:42,569
Shh.
477
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:47,616
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services
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