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Subtitle edited - Aorion -
"The Nightmare 2015 " ^ (Run time 01:30:43)
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What was that?
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Me and my brother were like,
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we'd just got out of the shower,
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and he was about 2 years younger than me.
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And... while my mom
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was like taking care of him
because he's like tiny.
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- I was like in the living room,
- 5.
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- drying off, watching TV.
- 4, 3...
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In a Miami, Florida, courtroom today,
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former Panamanian dictator, Manuel Noriega--
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- Hey, Chris.
- Whoever the newscaster was
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starts kind of getting my attention...
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- Chris.
- Saying like, "Hey, Chris. Hey, Chris."
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Hey, Chris.
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- And it's saying, "Don't worry." - Don't worry.
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Everything's gonna be okay.
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And one day, we'll be back.
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It terrified me.
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I remember screaming
to get my mom,
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bringing her to the TV,
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who now was back to doing like normal news casting,
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because that's,
you know, what it was.
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And...
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her basically explaining
to me, like,
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"TVs don't talk to you.
That's ridiculous."
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I'm disenchanted,
because now I thought
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something really cool happened,
and...
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that's not a thing
I remember,
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I know it was there.
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And, you know,
I was wide awake.
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I had literally
just gotten out of the shower,
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and it was this very...
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overwhelming experience
for me because now...
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00:02:42,536 --> 00:02:43,639
as a five-year-old,
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I...
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I didn't know where I belonged.
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St. Louis, Michigan
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Jeff R.
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Okay.
Set.
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So how did this start, Jeff?
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Um,
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probably about
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00:03:26,476 --> 00:03:28,626
10 years ago.
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My girlfriend at the time and I
were talking about
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different paranormal stories,
and...
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and she started
telling me about...
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me about how
sometimes she'd wake up
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in the middle of the night,
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just, like, unable to move
or breathe and...
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She said it felt like...
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00:03:42,728 --> 00:03:46,162
there's like an evil presence
in the room with her,
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and they would just, like--
kind of, like, torment her and...
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And she would eventually
wake up,
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and it'd be like
it was just a dream.
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After she told me that,
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I didn't really know
what to make of it.
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I was like,
"Okay, I got involved
with some crazy girl."
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And...
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I just kind of changed
the subject,
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started talking about something else.
Then...
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About a week later,
I laid down to go to sleep.
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And just as I started to drift off,
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I felt my body just become extremely heavy.
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It was like I fell asleep,
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but then woke up at the same instant.
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And my whole body started tingling.
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It felt like really weighted down,
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like something was pulling me.
And...
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I heard this,
like, sound.
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It wasn't like
outside of my head,
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but it was just like
inside of my head.
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It's sounded
like a washing machine
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that's kind of out of balance
or something,
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just banging against the wall.
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And...
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just really terrified me.
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I kind of started like...
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freaking out,
and like,
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started seeing things.
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And it was really bizarre.
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Well, what did you see?
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Um,
it was kind of like--
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it was kind of like...
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All these different colors,
like a...
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laser light show or something,
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like, I was like
flying through, like, a time warp.
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It had all these like colors just, like, shooting at me
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in a lighting show.
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And I had found that I had zero control over my body.
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Like, no matter how hard I tried,
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I couldn't move my arms, my legs.
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Nothing.
And so...
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I really started to kind of
have a panic attack
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because I didn't know what was going on.
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I thought I was dead.
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I thought it was like a stroke or something.
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Nothing worked. I couldn't move.
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I had no control over anything.
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Finally I decided, well,
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I'm just gonna try to build up all the strength
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that I have in me, just to get
myself to roll over onto my girlfriend.
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Hoping that
it wakes her up.
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So it's just like this last-ditch effort
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of everything I had,
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I just like, wrenched my body.
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As soon as I like...
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flipped over on top of her,
I woke up.
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And I was still laying in my original position
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like none of it had happened.
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I was just completely shocked.
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I had no idea what was going on. And...
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I just did not know what to make of it.
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After that, it was like...
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constantly, night after night
after night for...
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a couple weeks, maybe even
a month or so. And...
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I just did not know
how to process it at the time.
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And so, finally, I told
my girlfriend about it.
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I was like, "okay,
this is what's happening to me."
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I think I need
to go to the doctor.
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I think I'm having strokes,
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like mini-strokes,
or seizures maybe even.
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And she's like, "No, that's exactly
what happens to me. And..
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that was what I was trying
to tell you about."
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Elizabeth, New Jersey
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- Ana M. -
I was about 29 years old.
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00:07:02,611 --> 00:07:03,776
Mm-hmm.
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And here in this room,
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Um.
As I would lay down to sleep,
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I just start feeling
tingling in my feet,
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and then I would feel it
rise up my legs...
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Up my torso,
on my hands.
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And I would also hear buzzing.
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You know,
like bees buzzing.
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00:07:24,218 --> 00:07:25,850
That's when these episodes
would start.
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I would feel tingling and I would get--
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And I’d feel the energy.
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I felt that my mind was awake,
but my body was stiff. I...
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00:07:33,351 --> 00:07:35,261
try to move my head
from side to side.
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00:07:35,286 --> 00:07:37,706
I just--
I couldn't move.
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00:08:05,027 --> 00:08:06,259
And in that moment,
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00:08:06,284 --> 00:08:08,622
I would hear tapping on the window.
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They would tap here.
I would hear tapping.
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00:08:12,142 --> 00:08:14,249
And I'm thinking, "well,
maybe it's just a squirrel
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00:08:14,274 --> 00:08:16,409
or a raccoon."
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00:08:16,434 --> 00:08:20,742
But it was like a pattern.
It was definitely a knock.
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And I would open my eyes,
and I’d look toward the window,
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and then it would stop.
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00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:29,026
But after a while,
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00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:32,282
I started feeling
an actual presence.
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And I would feel this presence,
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right next to me
trying to take my soul out.
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It would torture me at night,
and I would try and fight it,
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but I felt I was-- like my body felt paralyzed.
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It was just so strong
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that I would just let go,
and then I would feel myself...
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floating in the air.
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00:08:55,874 --> 00:08:57,881
And I could try and see myself,
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but I would just see a blur.
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Um...
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And it happened for many years.
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And um...
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00:09:07,017 --> 00:09:09,482
When I was pregnant
with my daughter,
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and I felt the baby as well,
trying to come out.
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But I was trying to fight it,
and I was saying, "No. No."
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So I would pull back.
It's like if I would pull back.
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And it would pull, you know,
the other way.
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00:09:22,531 --> 00:09:27,353
New York, New York
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00:09:29,328 --> 00:09:32,256
When I was in mymid to late 20s.
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00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,728
- Kate A. -
I had a really awful breakup.
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00:09:34,753 --> 00:09:37,363
- Kate A. -
I was miserable because
I was so brokenhearted.
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00:09:37,388 --> 00:09:39,344
And I started my first
teaching job around the same time,
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00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,894
so I was super
stressed-out from that.
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00:09:55,181 --> 00:09:58,929
I would just see this, like,
dark figure by the bookshelves,
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00:10:00,552 --> 00:10:03,096
And then I could not move,
and it was fucking terrifying.
176
00:10:03,121 --> 00:10:04,652
I didn't know
it was happening.
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00:10:04,677 --> 00:10:07,471
I did think that somebody had
broken into my apartment at first,
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00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:10,086
because at that point,
my roommate and I lived--
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00:10:10,111 --> 00:10:12,010
I had a roommate then--.
We lived on 4th street,
180
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,645
and we were on the
top floor of the building.
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00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,578
And our building was
really easy to get into.
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00:10:16,603 --> 00:10:18,287
Like, the door in from
the balcony
183
00:10:18,312 --> 00:10:20,404
to like our apartment didn't really lock,
So I was...
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00:10:20,429 --> 00:10:21,692
So I think...
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00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:24,416
I was like, "Oh, fuck.
Somebody actually broke in."
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00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:26,357
To be lying there and like know,
187
00:10:26,382 --> 00:10:29,175
I want to move, and I’m trying to move,
and I cannot--
188
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,362
absolutely terrifying.
189
00:10:33,555 --> 00:10:37,725
I've always had a problem with states of consciousness.
190
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:41,370
Slipping in and out of
different states of consciousness.
191
00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:42,743
- Korinne W. -
And...
192
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,694
- Korinne W. -
I do remember...
193
00:10:44,719 --> 00:10:46,816
- Korinne W. -
When I was very, very young--
194
00:10:46,841 --> 00:10:50,426
2, 3,
I was still in a crib.
195
00:10:50,451 --> 00:10:53,643
And there was aplug-in night light,
196
00:10:53,668 --> 00:10:57,853
and it was that
orange cast color.
197
00:10:58,012 --> 00:11:01,918
And it was all dark except for that orange cast,
198
00:11:01,943 --> 00:11:04,029
And the room turned red,
199
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,264
and I felt like something was coming after me,
200
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:10,007
and I cuddled down and covered myself.
201
00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:28,424
It was my earliest memory
of the scariness
202
00:11:28,449 --> 00:11:31,640
that happened to me
and continued to happen.
203
00:11:31,665 --> 00:11:33,786
Laying down to go to sleep,
204
00:11:33,811 --> 00:11:36,571
I would feel utterly exhausted,
205
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,710
almost as if I had just been drugged.
206
00:11:38,735 --> 00:11:41,234
I mean, you know, having been in the hospital,
207
00:11:41,236 --> 00:11:42,944
I understand what that's like.
208
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,822
It's just like I had been injected.
209
00:11:46,752 --> 00:11:50,137
And my eyes sealed shut. My mouth sealed shut.
210
00:11:50,162 --> 00:11:52,369
And it's as if everything was shutting down,
211
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:56,578
except for my awareness, my consciousness.
212
00:11:56,603 --> 00:11:59,821
And then I could feel a vibration.
213
00:11:59,823 --> 00:12:04,956
Sometimes it was so intense,
it felt like being electrocuted,
214
00:12:04,981 --> 00:12:09,135
but it was definitely an electrical vibration.
215
00:12:09,137 --> 00:12:11,144
I began hearing
216
00:12:11,169 --> 00:12:14,563
voices and screams
and crying...
217
00:12:14,588 --> 00:12:19,195
And all of this
really emotional drama.
218
00:12:19,220 --> 00:12:23,001
Yelling to crying, but all negative emotion,
219
00:12:23,026 --> 00:12:25,912
all of these different voices.
220
00:12:25,937 --> 00:12:28,304
And then that is when the shadow man
221
00:12:28,329 --> 00:12:31,274
would
come toward me.
222
00:12:31,299 --> 00:12:34,753
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid!
223
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:41,814
And he looked just like a three-dimensional shadow,
224
00:12:41,854 --> 00:12:45,587
outlined,
just perfect.
225
00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:47,982
And he would walk...
226
00:12:48,007 --> 00:12:50,057
Disjointed.
227
00:12:53,098 --> 00:12:54,057
And...
228
00:12:54,082 --> 00:12:56,785
he brought the vibration
with him.
229
00:12:56,810 --> 00:13:00,726
It's as if it was emanating from him.
230
00:13:00,751 --> 00:13:04,816
And he would come towards me, and I would just feel that.
231
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,005
Hear-- hear--
232
00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:10,223
I would hear all the sounds of hell.
233
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,925
I don't know any other way to put it.
234
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:16,549
and feel his awful vibration.
235
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:20,220
And I would have a fight/flight response,
236
00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:22,587
And I would completely, you know, freak out,
237
00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:26,012
and try to scream or get away.
238
00:13:29,045 --> 00:13:32,823
And many times, the intensity just continued.
239
00:13:32,848 --> 00:13:35,721
I was very scared,
and I was upstairs,
240
00:13:35,746 --> 00:13:37,269
and I didn't feel like anybody
was gonna get to me
241
00:13:37,294 --> 00:13:39,557
if I screamed.
242
00:13:39,608 --> 00:13:41,998
It's very dark.
243
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,899
And it scared me...
244
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,558
...forever.
I mean, it really...
245
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:47,770
scared me to the
end of my wits.
246
00:13:47,795 --> 00:13:50,229
And if anything
was gonna drive me insane,
247
00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:52,629
it was gonna be that.
248
00:13:53,639 --> 00:13:59,418
Manchester, England
249
00:13:59,443 --> 00:14:01,430
What happens is...
250
00:14:01,455 --> 00:14:02,665
- Stephen P. -
when you're falling asleep,
251
00:14:02,690 --> 00:14:04,672
- Stephen P. -
that you'll get an electrical shock
252
00:14:04,674 --> 00:14:06,369
through your body just
as you're falling asleep,
253
00:14:06,394 --> 00:14:07,248
and...
254
00:14:07,273 --> 00:14:09,095
that's the usual indication that
255
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,528
you're gonna have
a visit that night.
256
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,752
Then you'll fall asleep,
you fall asleep.
257
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:17,035
and then you'll wake up, and...
258
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,511
totally paralyzed,
you can't move.
259
00:14:19,535 --> 00:14:23,639
Um, and...
There's static in the room.
260
00:14:23,665 --> 00:14:27,599
And you're being visited.
They'll circle your bed,
261
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:30,871
and now and again,
they'll try and touch you.
262
00:14:30,896 --> 00:14:35,291
The first one is a generic shadow person,
263
00:14:35,316 --> 00:14:38,244
which is just basically an outline of me and you
264
00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:41,323
On a sunny day, on the side... on the pavement,
265
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:43,132
on the sidewalk
266
00:14:43,493 --> 00:14:46,070
In a 3-D form.
267
00:14:48,165 --> 00:14:50,645
And the second...
268
00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:54,249
The second entity, which is the hat man,
269
00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:56,521
seems to have a direct link to them.
270
00:14:56,546 --> 00:15:00,615
He's-- he's a very authoritarian figure.
271
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,363
He's very menacing.
272
00:15:02,388 --> 00:15:05,370
He's very--
273
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,206
he's in charge of them.
274
00:15:08,633 --> 00:15:10,205
His minions, so to speak.
275
00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:12,644
And, um...
276
00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,327
They're a team.
277
00:15:14,352 --> 00:15:15,971
It's hell.
278
00:15:15,996 --> 00:15:19,561
He's awful,
awful, awful.
279
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,601
It all starts with that
electrical shock.
280
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:39,270
New York. New York
281
00:15:39,434 --> 00:15:41,216
- Chris C. -
I have like two separate lives.
282
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,469
I have my life like,
we're here talking about it,
283
00:15:43,494 --> 00:15:46,136
- Chris C. -
and it's cool and I go to work.
284
00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:47,772
- Chris C. -
And then when I go to bed,
285
00:15:47,797 --> 00:15:50,375
I have this whole other life
that I have to deal with.
286
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,832
When it first started,
it was pretty intermittent.
287
00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:54,934
It wasn't every day.
288
00:15:55,298 --> 00:15:58,366
Don't know the age.
Around this time.
289
00:15:59,254 --> 00:16:01,170
My brother didn't live with us anymore,
290
00:16:01,195 --> 00:16:03,194
and I had my room all to myself.
291
00:16:03,219 --> 00:16:05,341
And...
292
00:16:05,366 --> 00:16:07,541
It's kind of funny 'cause I can remember
293
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:10,563
my bed had collapsed,
294
00:16:10,588 --> 00:16:13,693
onto a box of beanie babies that my mom collected.
295
00:16:13,718 --> 00:16:15,293
My mom was a big collector.
296
00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:18,288
And so my bed kind of pivots, right?
297
00:16:18,313 --> 00:16:20,390
On top of this thing there's a frame,
298
00:16:20,415 --> 00:16:21,824
the bed pivoting.
299
00:16:21,849 --> 00:16:25,236
And I remember the bed was pivoted,
300
00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:26,803
on this particular night,
301
00:16:26,828 --> 00:16:29,168
with my feet closer to the ground
302
00:16:29,193 --> 00:16:31,998
and my head higher up, like a seesaw.
303
00:16:32,544 --> 00:16:35,532
And I remember the paralysis starts,
304
00:16:35,557 --> 00:16:39,190
and...
I can see the door frame.
305
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,837
Like I can see like a...
306
00:16:40,862 --> 00:16:43,126
I’m looking directly at--
307
00:16:43,365 --> 00:16:44,415
you know, I’m looking at a wall,
308
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,697
and the door is right here.
309
00:16:45,699 --> 00:16:49,623
So, here's a bed, there's me, then
310
00:16:49,648 --> 00:16:51,709
straight forward, there's the door
that exits, right?
311
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:54,545
And there's the light
from the hallway.
312
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:57,315
And I remember seeing,
313
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:59,451
you know, your traditional darkness,
your, you know,
314
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:02,628
everything
kind of exists in shadows.
315
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:06,709
I mean, it all,
it all looks like it's moving.
316
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,948
All the darkness looks alive.
317
00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:50,109
But I remember seeing...
318
00:17:50,134 --> 00:17:52,296
People, beings,
whatever,
319
00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:53,963
Just coming in.
320
00:17:53,988 --> 00:17:56,574
They just-- they look--
321
00:17:56,599 --> 00:17:57,869
they look like a--
322
00:17:57,894 --> 00:18:00,411
if a person were to walk in front of a light,
323
00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,180
and their shadow were to follow them,
324
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,905
they looked like an almost--
325
00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:07,835
more shadow-like version of a shadow.
326
00:18:07,860 --> 00:18:11,153
Like...
and kind of...
327
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,038
Just...
328
00:18:14,063 --> 00:18:15,648
Didn't do anything.
329
00:18:15,673 --> 00:18:17,423
Like,
I remember
330
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:19,106
now...
331
00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:22,701
that they would-- they just--
shadows moving in,
332
00:18:22,703 --> 00:18:25,547
like, they would kind of intersect the light.
333
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,409
I actually--
I remember this...
334
00:18:28,434 --> 00:18:31,968
kind of well now, because
I was on this weird tilt,
335
00:18:31,993 --> 00:18:33,997
so it wasn't just me
looking up,
336
00:18:34,022 --> 00:18:35,901
or, like, being able
to kind of see around.
337
00:18:35,926 --> 00:18:38,372
This was me looking
straight at the door.
338
00:18:38,397 --> 00:18:42,534
And...
just seeing these things.
339
00:18:42,559 --> 00:18:44,239
I remember in the paralysis,
340
00:18:44,264 --> 00:18:46,802
I thought that they were real.
341
00:18:46,827 --> 00:18:48,159
And I always think they're real.
342
00:18:48,184 --> 00:18:52,950
Even to this day, I think these
things are real in some sense, um...
343
00:18:53,731 --> 00:18:56,227
But when I woke up,
they weren't there.
344
00:18:56,252 --> 00:18:58,866
It was definitely
the first time
345
00:18:59,284 --> 00:19:02,624
that...
I saw something
346
00:19:02,649 --> 00:19:04,468
that made me think that...
347
00:19:04,493 --> 00:19:06,538
this was more than just...
348
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,917
a sleep disorder.
349
00:19:10,595 --> 00:19:18,190
Costa Mesa, California
350
00:19:18,474 --> 00:19:20,229
- Connie Y. -
I do remember
351
00:19:20,254 --> 00:19:24,305
- Connie Y. -
it happening as far back as
when I was a little girl.
352
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:28,402
As far back as maybe
5 or 6 years old.
353
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:33,431
And then...
354
00:19:33,456 --> 00:19:37,318
the same thing happened
when I was about 15.
355
00:19:40,999 --> 00:19:43,361
During that time,
I was a rebellious teenager,
356
00:19:43,363 --> 00:19:47,328
So...
I was really out of control and
357
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,898
feeling like,
unloved and stuff.
358
00:19:49,923 --> 00:19:52,825
I don't know how I got that way,
359
00:19:53,342 --> 00:19:55,981
but it was kind of like a brokenness inside,
360
00:19:56,006 --> 00:19:59,585
Like... I was just broken, spiritually broken.
361
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:04,454
And that time, I was in
a two-story home in Torrance,
362
00:20:04,479 --> 00:20:06,707
the city of Torrance.
363
00:20:10,219 --> 00:20:12,610
It was in the middle of the night,
but I was wide awake.
364
00:20:12,635 --> 00:20:14,835
Like I was literally wide awake. My eyes were open.
365
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:17,503
But I could now feel this presence,
366
00:20:17,528 --> 00:20:20,721
this evil presence behind me.
367
00:20:23,952 --> 00:20:27,224
Lying on my side,
like on my left side.
368
00:20:27,249 --> 00:20:29,237
I'm a side sleeper.
369
00:20:29,277 --> 00:20:32,488
And then the door
is behind me.
370
00:20:32,529 --> 00:20:35,069
And uh...
And then...
371
00:20:35,094 --> 00:20:37,121
I could feel the presence
372
00:20:37,146 --> 00:20:39,725
just right behind me.
373
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:44,283
And I remember just trying to,
wanting to move and turn around,
374
00:20:44,308 --> 00:20:46,775
but I could not lift a finger.
375
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,550
Again, it was... I was just frozen...
376
00:20:49,575 --> 00:20:52,223
Utterly in terror.
377
00:20:52,248 --> 00:20:54,444
And it was the--
378
00:20:54,469 --> 00:20:58,020
if I could describe what death
would feel like.
379
00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:03,594
And it's a kind of horror that is
worse than like in the movies.
380
00:21:03,619 --> 00:21:07,181
Um, it's an icy-cold,
kind of...
381
00:21:07,206 --> 00:21:10,953
dark evil,
something's in the room,
382
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:13,604
and it's watching me.
That's the scary part.
383
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,686
That it's you feel a sense that it's watching you.
384
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:18,800
And it's--
and it's--
385
00:21:18,825 --> 00:21:21,760
And it's...
making you feel afraid.
386
00:21:21,785 --> 00:21:24,658
And it wants you
to feel afraid.
387
00:21:29,576 --> 00:21:33,671
Los Angeles, California
388
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,681
I was a year and a half old,
probably.
389
00:21:36,706 --> 00:21:38,999
- Forrest B. -
And I was...
390
00:21:39,024 --> 00:21:42,433
- Forrest B. -
born and raised in Rural Vermont
391
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:45,826
in an old farmhouse about 100,
100-plus years old,
392
00:21:45,851 --> 00:21:48,265
And I was in the middle
of the woods.
393
00:21:49,738 --> 00:21:52,312
So it was very dark
and very quiet,
394
00:21:52,337 --> 00:21:53,525
just pitch silence,
395
00:21:53,550 --> 00:21:56,602
which, you know, itself kind of has a sound.
396
00:21:57,643 --> 00:21:59,160
And uh...
397
00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:01,193
So here I am,
I’m a baby.
398
00:22:01,218 --> 00:22:04,276
I wake up
and I can't move.
399
00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:06,360
I'm in my crib.
400
00:22:06,385 --> 00:22:09,874
And... so I’m surrounded
by the bars
401
00:22:09,899 --> 00:22:11,760
of the crib on all sides.
402
00:22:11,785 --> 00:22:14,354
And above me,
403
00:22:14,379 --> 00:22:17,821
at the end of the crib,
before the window,
404
00:22:17,846 --> 00:22:21,054
Are 2 anthropomorphic...
405
00:22:21,079 --> 00:22:24,246
kind of, beings, I guess.
406
00:22:25,318 --> 00:22:28,051
Best word
to describe them.
407
00:22:28,076 --> 00:22:30,408
I still remember them vividly
408
00:22:30,433 --> 00:22:33,035
because it's actually
my first memory.
409
00:22:33,427 --> 00:22:38,329
So in a way, it's kind of my awakening
into the world.
410
00:22:39,516 --> 00:22:40,813
Dark.
411
00:22:40,838 --> 00:22:42,584
They always
just look so cartoony.
412
00:22:42,609 --> 00:22:48,084
And I've tried to draw them before,
and it just looks so goofy.
413
00:22:51,421 --> 00:22:56,090
It just doesn't have, uh,
the same malevolent impact.
414
00:22:56,115 --> 00:22:58,453
And
their skin,
415
00:22:59,408 --> 00:23:02,485
was like television static.
416
00:23:04,055 --> 00:23:05,861
You know, it had,
you know--
417
00:23:05,886 --> 00:23:08,220
like an old TV,
when the signal's--
418
00:23:08,245 --> 00:23:09,934
when you're not getting
a good signal.
419
00:23:09,959 --> 00:23:11,522
It had that
same kind of texture,
420
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,457
that kind of--
421
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:24,535
They were... tall,
kind of thin.
422
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:28,829
These kind of thin limbs
and these long fingers.
423
00:23:28,854 --> 00:23:31,361
And they had
these very simple faces,
424
00:23:31,386 --> 00:23:33,754
almost cartoonish faces of,
425
00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:36,124
You know.
These two inky eyes
426
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:39,558
and this big... inky smile
on their face.
427
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,660
That’s kind of...
428
00:23:41,685 --> 00:23:44,632
it's tickling, tickling,
tickling fingers,
429
00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:49,060
These like long...
slender...
430
00:23:49,085 --> 00:23:50,478
They were laughing.
431
00:23:50,503 --> 00:23:53,570
And here's my little feet,
you know.
432
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:57,598
They were tickling me.
433
00:23:57,623 --> 00:23:59,637
And, you know.
I was paralyzed.
434
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:02,008
I couldn't move,
and I couldn't stop them.
435
00:24:02,033 --> 00:24:03,641
And they were laughing about it.
436
00:24:03,666 --> 00:24:05,630
There was kind of like laughter.
Like, ah-ha-ha.
437
00:24:05,655 --> 00:24:08,007
They were like, there,
you know?
438
00:24:08,032 --> 00:24:09,161
And bars,
439
00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:12,978
These two anthropomorphic things,
the windows.
440
00:24:20,430 --> 00:24:23,000
You know,
according to my parents--
441
00:24:23,494 --> 00:24:26,522
But I kept on repeating the words "zines."
442
00:24:26,547 --> 00:24:29,232
Like, z-i-n-e-s,
443
00:24:29,257 --> 00:24:31,680
over and over again,
in like kind of a panic.
444
00:24:31,705 --> 00:24:34,224
Like, kind of like,
"zines, zines, zines,"
445
00:24:34,249 --> 00:24:35,620
You know, like,
hanging on to them.
446
00:24:35,645 --> 00:24:39,060
And so maybe as a child.
447
00:24:39,712 --> 00:24:41,698
You know. Seeing these kind
of anthropomorphic
448
00:24:41,723 --> 00:24:46,287
sort of not human but human--
uh...
449
00:24:52,651 --> 00:24:55,965
So I wouldn't sleep
in my crib again.
450
00:24:56,123 --> 00:24:58,307
My parents tried
to put me in my crib,
451
00:24:58,332 --> 00:24:59,424
and I just wouldn't do it.
452
00:24:59,449 --> 00:25:00,731
I would just scream
and scream
453
00:25:00,733 --> 00:25:02,902
and scream and scream
and scream.
454
00:25:03,035 --> 00:25:05,576
I made this
as a Halloween costume
455
00:25:05,601 --> 00:25:07,872
some years ago.
456
00:25:08,526 --> 00:25:12,254
Now you're staring
into my childhood right now.
457
00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:15,286
I don't know.
Is it scary?
458
00:25:19,754 --> 00:25:27,087
- It's a Thing -
459
00:25:29,875 --> 00:25:32,709
Did you seek any medical help?
460
00:25:32,734 --> 00:25:36,019
No, because I didn't think
I was going crazy.
461
00:25:36,044 --> 00:25:39,419
I knew what I was experiencing
was real.
462
00:25:39,852 --> 00:25:41,889
I didn't want someone else
to come and tell me,
463
00:25:41,914 --> 00:25:43,308
"Well, no, that's not real."
464
00:25:43,333 --> 00:25:45,406
Did you seek any kind of help?
465
00:25:45,431 --> 00:25:47,499
Did you try to do anything to keep it from happening?
466
00:25:47,524 --> 00:25:51,751
Did I get an exorcist?
No, I did a Google search.
467
00:25:51,856 --> 00:25:54,446
I got on the internet very early
468
00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:57,758
Compared to most people, in about '94 maybe.
469
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,190
I'm totally guessing. '94, '95.
470
00:26:00,215 --> 00:26:02,593
And one of the very first things I looked up,
471
00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:05,123
was "the shadowman" and "nightmare."
472
00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,369
And from there,
in the search engines,
473
00:26:07,394 --> 00:26:09,623
it wasn't very far down
the page-- sleep paralysis.
474
00:26:09,648 --> 00:26:12,638
I was like, wait, sleep frozen, sleep paralysis.
475
00:26:12,663 --> 00:26:14,400
And I called my mom up right away.
476
00:26:14,425 --> 00:26:17,135
I said, "Oh, my gosh, mom, it's sleep paralysis.
477
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,944
That's what they call it. It's a thing."
478
00:26:20,647 --> 00:26:22,140
She was very excited, too,
479
00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:24,717
And she wanted to understand
more about it because she felt that
480
00:26:24,742 --> 00:26:27,317
maybe something medical
could be done
481
00:26:27,342 --> 00:26:29,132
so that we no longer had it.
482
00:26:29,157 --> 00:26:31,267
Because when the scientists
figure it out,
483
00:26:31,292 --> 00:26:33,669
They figure out a medicine
to go with it, right?
484
00:26:33,694 --> 00:26:37,363
So we felt that we would
actually have answers
485
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:40,686
and medication or something
to make it better.
486
00:26:40,711 --> 00:26:43,252
I called a doctor
and made an appointment.
487
00:26:43,254 --> 00:26:45,904
And came in, and explained
to them what was going on,
488
00:26:45,929 --> 00:26:48,241
and my doctor said...
489
00:26:48,266 --> 00:26:51,493
that she was kind of concerned that
maybe I was having seizures
490
00:26:51,518 --> 00:26:52,076
while I was sleeping.
491
00:26:52,078 --> 00:26:57,450
So she set me up for a CAT scan,
an EEG and all that.
492
00:26:57,475 --> 00:26:59,676
So I went in for those,
and
493
00:26:59,701 --> 00:27:03,030
my results
for the CAT scan were normal,
494
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:05,852
but the EEG came back with--
495
00:27:05,877 --> 00:27:08,419
Said I had abnormal results.
496
00:27:08,444 --> 00:27:09,166
That's all she said.
497
00:27:09,191 --> 00:27:11,772
"You have
some abnormal readings."
498
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:14,698
"You have sleep paralysis.
It's just caused by stress."
499
00:27:15,785 --> 00:27:17,596
"So if you just make
some lifestyle changes,
500
00:27:17,621 --> 00:27:18,677
It'll go away."
501
00:27:18,702 --> 00:27:22,586
Well, you get a cut-and-paste
answer from doctors,
502
00:27:23,527 --> 00:27:25,091
"You're stressed."
503
00:27:25,116 --> 00:27:27,626
"Change your lifestyle,"
504
00:27:27,651 --> 00:27:29,742
Without asking
what your lifestyle is.
505
00:27:29,744 --> 00:27:31,174
There's no answer.
506
00:27:31,199 --> 00:27:34,470
It's just a dismissal of--
507
00:27:34,495 --> 00:27:36,027
basically, they don't know.
508
00:27:36,052 --> 00:27:37,085
And if they don't know,
509
00:27:37,110 --> 00:27:40,155
then they don't--
they don't care.
510
00:27:40,357 --> 00:27:42,630
Every time I would talk
to a psychiatrist, I’d be like,
511
00:27:42,655 --> 00:27:44,108
"I'm having this sleep problem.
512
00:27:44,133 --> 00:27:46,078
This is what happens.
This what it feels like."
513
00:27:46,103 --> 00:27:47,828
They'd be like, "Okay, okay.
514
00:27:47,853 --> 00:27:51,007
Tell me about, like, you know,
how are you doing at home?"
515
00:27:51,009 --> 00:27:52,526
And I would always try to be
like, "No, no, no,
516
00:27:52,551 --> 00:27:54,526
Let's talk about...
517
00:27:54,551 --> 00:27:56,640
this hideous
sleep problem I have."
518
00:27:56,665 --> 00:27:59,376
She seemed really interested.
She sort of leans in.
519
00:27:59,378 --> 00:28:01,214
And she's like,
"It's not sleep apnea."
520
00:28:01,239 --> 00:28:02,780
And I was like,
"I know that."
521
00:28:02,782 --> 00:28:05,869
And she just said,
"That's really messed up."
522
00:28:10,303 --> 00:28:14,550
- Sometimes They Come Back. -
523
00:28:24,629 --> 00:28:26,410
I remember, like,
524
00:28:26,435 --> 00:28:28,457
The following night after it would happen,
525
00:28:28,482 --> 00:28:32,340
I'd lay in bed being so scaredthat it was gonna happen again.
526
00:28:32,365 --> 00:28:35,016
And then, most assuredly, it would happen again
527
00:28:35,041 --> 00:28:37,972
'cause I was thinking about it and obsessing about it.
528
00:28:37,997 --> 00:28:40,631
Like, when I’d go through
these dry spells.
529
00:28:40,656 --> 00:28:42,618
Basically,
where I wasn't having it,
530
00:28:42,643 --> 00:28:44,406
if I started telling somebody
about it,
531
00:28:44,431 --> 00:28:46,457
Then it was, like,
almost 100% guaranteed
532
00:28:46,459 --> 00:28:49,361
that I was gonna
have it that night.
533
00:28:51,839 --> 00:28:54,233
This is in
our college apartment.
534
00:28:54,258 --> 00:28:57,831
- Okay.
- So, I was here.
535
00:29:06,956 --> 00:29:10,300
I had my bed right here...
536
00:29:10,754 --> 00:29:12,984
And then my roommate...
537
00:29:13,009 --> 00:29:15,304
was right here.
538
00:29:18,704 --> 00:29:20,511
And the blobs--
539
00:29:20,536 --> 00:29:23,681
I saw these black blobs--
540
00:29:24,385 --> 00:29:26,841
I could see them.
541
00:29:27,351 --> 00:29:31,876
Blobs of black, coming onto my bed.
542
00:29:46,457 --> 00:29:50,685
And I could see my roommate, just in the corner over there.
543
00:29:50,710 --> 00:29:53,176
And I was trying to scream her name
544
00:29:53,201 --> 00:29:55,186
so that she could help me.
545
00:29:55,211 --> 00:29:59,259
And she's sleeping away, and I’m straining to talk.
546
00:29:59,284 --> 00:30:01,923
And nothing can come out.
547
00:30:17,786 --> 00:30:20,303
I'm a diver.
And...
548
00:30:20,328 --> 00:30:22,337
I've experienced...
549
00:30:22,339 --> 00:30:25,088
Well, been close to death quite a few times.
550
00:30:25,113 --> 00:30:26,415
I'm a deep diver.
551
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,925
But nothing's as terrifying,
as...
552
00:30:28,950 --> 00:30:31,551
what happens, and
I have it once or twice a week.
553
00:30:31,576 --> 00:30:33,809
When I was about 10 is when it started to happen,
554
00:30:33,834 --> 00:30:35,999
every single solitary day of my life.
555
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:39,660
Nobody ever really took me
entirely seriously, you know.
556
00:30:39,685 --> 00:30:42,105
Even though
I was a petrified little boy.
557
00:30:42,107 --> 00:30:45,424
You know, terrified to be alone,
hated my bedroom,
558
00:30:45,449 --> 00:30:47,815
hated the room below my bedroom,
559
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:52,133
and had sleep paralysis
probably every night.
560
00:30:52,404 --> 00:30:54,218
You know, had voices talking to me
561
00:30:54,220 --> 00:30:57,551
in the sleep paralysis,
very abusive experiences.
562
00:30:57,576 --> 00:30:59,372
" Hey, Forrest."
563
00:30:59,397 --> 00:31:01,959
- Hey, Forrest.
- "Hey, Forrest."
564
00:31:01,961 --> 00:31:06,733
You just won thegiant insect of the month club.
565
00:31:06,758 --> 00:31:10,108
Insect of the month club.
566
00:31:10,133 --> 00:31:16,424
We're sending your first prize up to your bedroom right now.
567
00:31:19,649 --> 00:31:21,948
You know, and again,
it goes back to the fact that,
568
00:31:21,973 --> 00:31:24,498
You know, because it wasn't
like a real experience--
569
00:31:24,523 --> 00:31:26,319
if somebody had come
into my bedroom,
570
00:31:26,344 --> 00:31:29,148
and some creepy guy was
whispering to me every night.
571
00:31:29,173 --> 00:31:30,320
You know,
my parents would definitely
572
00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:31,943
have done something about it.
573
00:31:31,968 --> 00:31:34,925
But the farthest they went
was kind of being like,
574
00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:39,104
"Well, maybe we should take him
to a psychologist? No."
575
00:31:40,999 --> 00:31:43,632
I was trying to fall asleep.
576
00:31:43,657 --> 00:31:48,158
I felt this overwhelming pressure come over me.
577
00:31:48,401 --> 00:31:51,771
And my breathing just stopped.
578
00:31:59,065 --> 00:32:02,199
My body was trying to kind of tell me,
579
00:32:02,224 --> 00:32:04,140
"I'm gonna kill myself now.
580
00:32:04,165 --> 00:32:08,043
And... you have the option to stop that."
581
00:32:11,574 --> 00:32:14,107
If I want to continue to breathe,
582
00:32:14,132 --> 00:32:18,829
I have to actively override whatever else is going on.
583
00:32:19,794 --> 00:32:21,631
I have 2 options...
584
00:32:21,656 --> 00:32:23,821
either try to break free of the paralysis
585
00:32:23,846 --> 00:32:27,238
or...
I breathe.
586
00:32:28,174 --> 00:32:30,471
You know, that was
kind of the beginning,
587
00:32:30,496 --> 00:32:33,532
and that was the beginning
of me...
588
00:32:33,557 --> 00:32:37,189
being afraid of,
not going to sleep,
589
00:32:37,214 --> 00:32:40,018
but, you know,
I would just pressure myself,
590
00:32:40,043 --> 00:32:43,445
to wait till exhaustion to fall asleep,
for the most part,
591
00:32:43,470 --> 00:32:47,218
'cause after that,
it just never stopped,
592
00:32:47,243 --> 00:32:50,695
um...
kind of ever.
593
00:32:50,925 --> 00:32:54,137
You know, I'll get it just about anywhere.
594
00:32:54,910 --> 00:32:57,654
Some places will be much worse.
595
00:32:58,867 --> 00:33:03,298
And the voice is different...
by place.
596
00:33:08,531 --> 00:33:09,952
Um...
597
00:33:09,977 --> 00:33:11,932
I had an apartment in...
598
00:33:11,957 --> 00:33:13,524
Boston.
I lived in Jamaica Plain
599
00:33:13,549 --> 00:33:16,231
in Boston for a while
above a pizza place,
600
00:33:16,256 --> 00:33:18,317
and I would always hear
this middle-aged woman
601
00:33:18,342 --> 00:33:20,297
singing in a baby's voice there,
602
00:33:20,322 --> 00:33:22,976
Like, lah... lah... lah...
603
00:33:23,439 --> 00:33:25,729
This...
gradually faded away
604
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,820
until I...
pretty much almost forgot
605
00:33:27,845 --> 00:33:30,414
I had ever experienced it.
606
00:33:30,487 --> 00:33:32,647
And
I...
607
00:33:32,672 --> 00:33:33,886
thought I was good,
finally over.
608
00:33:33,911 --> 00:33:35,429
It was just a phase
I was going through,
609
00:33:35,454 --> 00:33:37,614
and now it's done.
610
00:33:37,639 --> 00:33:41,105
One afternoon,
I was up doing housework,
611
00:33:41,130 --> 00:33:43,126
and was kind of tired,
612
00:33:43,151 --> 00:33:45,833
and I figured
I'll lay down and take a nap,
613
00:33:45,858 --> 00:33:47,948
because I’m gonna go out with
some friends later on tonight.
614
00:33:47,973 --> 00:33:49,309
So...
615
00:33:49,334 --> 00:33:53,210
I went, laid down,
and ...
616
00:33:53,235 --> 00:33:55,376
set the alarm on my phone,
checked, saw the time,
617
00:33:55,401 --> 00:33:59,116
and just like kind of threw it on the nightstand next to me,
618
00:33:59,141 --> 00:34:02,456
and just laid down.
And...
619
00:34:03,069 --> 00:34:05,767
As I started to fall asleep,
I...
620
00:34:05,792 --> 00:34:09,466
felt, like, this tingling
sensation come over me,
621
00:34:09,491 --> 00:34:11,822
and since I had been
dealing with it so long,
622
00:34:11,847 --> 00:34:13,609
it was kind of like
a familiar feeling,
623
00:34:13,634 --> 00:34:14,673
it was like the warning sign,
624
00:34:14,698 --> 00:34:17,456
"Okay, sleep paralysis is about to happen."
625
00:34:17,481 --> 00:34:20,852
I'd be like, my body would tingle,
start to feel heavy.
626
00:34:20,877 --> 00:34:23,509
I'd see, like,
all these pixilated colors,
627
00:34:23,534 --> 00:34:27,455
and so I set myself up
to wake myself up,
628
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,945
kind of shake it off.
629
00:34:29,970 --> 00:34:32,036
So then...
630
00:34:32,061 --> 00:34:33,917
it felt like it went away.
631
00:34:33,942 --> 00:34:36,048
So I just like.
You know, look at it.
632
00:34:36,073 --> 00:34:38,761
Picked up my phone,
looked at the time, okay...
633
00:34:38,786 --> 00:34:42,405
laid back down
and started going to sleep.
634
00:34:42,430 --> 00:34:46,318
And just as I fell asleep,
my phone rang.
635
00:34:46,343 --> 00:34:48,927
And so I laid there for a second.
636
00:34:48,952 --> 00:34:52,948
I was like, "do I answer it, don't I answer it?"
637
00:34:52,973 --> 00:34:53,921
Just fell asleep,
638
00:34:53,946 --> 00:34:55,092
and now somebody's waking me up.
639
00:34:55,094 --> 00:34:56,415
So finally, I gave in and I answered it.
640
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,652
I grabbed my phone. "Hello?"
641
00:34:59,677 --> 00:35:01,131
When I did that,
642
00:35:01,133 --> 00:35:04,988
the person on the other end of the line said, "hello,"
643
00:35:05,013 --> 00:35:06,931
and then they said something else
I couldn't really make out
644
00:35:06,956 --> 00:35:09,500
'cause it was all staticky
and cutting out.
645
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,912
So I said, "I can't understand you.
646
00:35:11,937 --> 00:35:15,061
You're breaking up. There's a bad connection."
647
00:35:15,086 --> 00:35:18,880
I said, "Hello," again, and I was like,
648
00:35:18,905 --> 00:35:21,336
"you're breaking up. I can't,
649
00:35:21,361 --> 00:35:22,817
like, hear you."
650
00:35:22,842 --> 00:35:25,437
And so,
finally I...
651
00:35:25,439 --> 00:35:27,301
trying to make out what they were saying and whatnot.
652
00:35:27,303 --> 00:35:28,999
And I decided that...
653
00:35:29,024 --> 00:35:30,804
I'm up.
I'm gonna go get a cigarette.
654
00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:33,667
You know.
So, I got up,
655
00:35:33,692 --> 00:35:36,026
just talking to him,
like, "Hello, hello?"
656
00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:39,370
And then finally I’d walked out into the living room,
657
00:35:39,395 --> 00:35:41,898
and just as I got out
in the living room,
658
00:35:41,923 --> 00:35:45,226
It... became, the connection cleared up
659
00:35:45,251 --> 00:35:49,717
and the person on the other end
was like this very pleasant man.
660
00:35:49,742 --> 00:35:51,007
He was like, "Hello.
661
00:35:51,032 --> 00:35:54,284
I was wondering if you could do me a favor."
662
00:35:54,309 --> 00:35:56,285
What kind of favor?
663
00:36:00,605 --> 00:36:03,096
Let me in.
664
00:36:03,098 --> 00:36:04,238
I freaked out.
665
00:36:04,263 --> 00:36:08,187
You know. I was, like, there's a demon on the other end of my phone and I...
666
00:36:08,212 --> 00:36:09,442
I wanted nothing to do with this.
667
00:36:09,467 --> 00:36:11,977
So I threw my phone across the room
668
00:36:12,002 --> 00:36:14,422
and it broke into pieces,
669
00:36:14,447 --> 00:36:18,178
then everything around me just went into complete chaos.
670
00:36:18,180 --> 00:36:21,118
They're just like-- almost like an earthquake hit.
671
00:36:21,143 --> 00:36:24,433
It's like, everything was shaking and dark and...
672
00:36:24,458 --> 00:36:26,443
My whole body started vibrating.
673
00:36:26,468 --> 00:36:28,115
It felt like something was trying to like
674
00:36:28,140 --> 00:36:32,401
rip me out of myself, kind of like pull my soul out.
675
00:36:35,015 --> 00:36:37,481
You know, just like trying to process this,
676
00:36:37,506 --> 00:36:39,371
like, what's going on, you know,
677
00:36:39,396 --> 00:36:41,444
just absolutely terrified.
678
00:36:41,469 --> 00:36:42,624
And so like,
679
00:36:42,649 --> 00:36:44,522
the only thing
I could think to do
680
00:36:44,547 --> 00:36:45,758
was I just started praying.
You know.
681
00:36:45,783 --> 00:36:48,151
I was, like, "god, if you're there, help me.
682
00:36:48,176 --> 00:36:50,443
I don't know what's happening.
683
00:36:50,468 --> 00:36:52,636
Just, please, somebody help me."
684
00:36:52,661 --> 00:36:55,460
And as soon as I...
said that,
685
00:36:55,485 --> 00:36:57,779
I felt like somebody
just grabbed me from behind,
686
00:36:57,804 --> 00:37:01,135
just, like, yanked me back,
like, down the hall,
687
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,931
and just, like, slammed me
back into my body.
688
00:37:03,956 --> 00:37:06,190
And, like, I hit my body,
and I,
689
00:37:06,215 --> 00:37:08,651
like, sat up instantly and,
like, looked around,
690
00:37:08,676 --> 00:37:11,437
and was like...,
"Did that just happen?
691
00:37:11,462 --> 00:37:13,122
Was...
Was that real?"
692
00:37:13,147 --> 00:37:15,888
And so the first thing I did
was to grab my phone, you know.
693
00:37:15,890 --> 00:37:18,819
I'm like looking through, "okay,
who did I just talk to?" And...
694
00:37:18,821 --> 00:37:21,293
like, no.
There is no missed calls
695
00:37:21,318 --> 00:37:24,554
or no answered calls or nothing,
and I looked at the time,
696
00:37:24,579 --> 00:37:26,575
and it had only been,
like, two minutes
697
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,797
since I initially laid down
to go to sleep.
698
00:37:29,822 --> 00:37:32,229
Um, I did tell my mom,
699
00:37:32,254 --> 00:37:34,841
and she just
kind of told me I’m nuts.
700
00:37:34,866 --> 00:37:37,462
She's like, "it was a bad dream.
It happens all the time."
701
00:37:37,487 --> 00:37:40,990
"No, mom.
It wasn't a dream."
702
00:37:43,709 --> 00:37:47,753
- Screen Memories -
703
00:38:04,010 --> 00:38:08,406
I was in 7th or 8th grade,
704
00:38:08,431 --> 00:38:11,823
about '87 or '88.
705
00:38:12,262 --> 00:38:14,531
And I saw...
706
00:38:14,533 --> 00:38:17,321
"A nightmare on Elm Street"
with my mother, thank goodness,
707
00:38:17,346 --> 00:38:18,980
on cable.
708
00:38:19,246 --> 00:38:21,378
And... she was like,
"oh, my gosh!
709
00:38:21,403 --> 00:38:23,847
This is like our dreams,"and I was like, "yeah, I know."
710
00:38:23,872 --> 00:38:26,474
So we definitely agreed on that.
711
00:38:26,499 --> 00:38:29,860
And I kept watching it because I wanted to find some clues,
712
00:38:29,884 --> 00:38:32,763
some answer to what was going on.
713
00:38:32,789 --> 00:38:34,919
And of course, they mention a little bit of myth
714
00:38:34,944 --> 00:38:36,501
in the movie but...
715
00:38:36,526 --> 00:38:38,532
not enough
to really research.
716
00:38:38,557 --> 00:38:41,601
Did you ever read about
the Balinese way of dreaming?
717
00:38:42,801 --> 00:38:44,582
No.
718
00:38:45,321 --> 00:38:48,010
They got this whole system
they call dream skills.
719
00:38:48,035 --> 00:38:50,163
They get all their art
and literature from dreams,
720
00:38:50,188 --> 00:38:51,864
just wake up
and write it down.
721
00:38:51,889 --> 00:38:53,844
Dream skills.
722
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:58,135
What if they made a monster
in their dreams, then what?
723
00:39:04,478 --> 00:39:06,999
When I was-- you know,
we had HBO
724
00:39:07,001 --> 00:39:10,160
when I was little, and my dad
was very liberal with
725
00:39:10,185 --> 00:39:13,394
letting us watch whatever
we wanted to watch on HBO.
726
00:39:13,419 --> 00:39:18,365
Once he was watching a movie,and I just kind of wandered in.
727
00:39:18,390 --> 00:39:20,411
I didn't really know what the movie was.
728
00:39:20,436 --> 00:39:24,045
And then uh...
And then this, uh...
729
00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:26,863
Creature emerges from behind a dresser.
730
00:39:26,888 --> 00:39:28,398
And it's like-- it's an alien.
731
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,684
And it's like the-- it was the movie "communion,"
732
00:39:30,709 --> 00:39:33,589
- with uh.
- "What's his face?"
733
00:39:33,614 --> 00:39:35,372
The guy who was in the dancing video.
734
00:39:35,374 --> 00:39:38,147
I don't know. Christopher Walken.
735
00:39:38,172 --> 00:39:41,167
Yeah, exactly. Christopher Walken.
736
00:39:41,192 --> 00:39:45,459
And...
when I saw that face...
737
00:39:45,746 --> 00:39:48,113
My mind immediately drew a parallel
738
00:39:48,138 --> 00:39:50,535
to the things I had experienced as a child,
739
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,319
and I was petrified.
740
00:39:52,344 --> 00:39:54,358
I remember just being petrified.
741
00:39:54,383 --> 00:39:56,579
And-- and then, you know--
742
00:39:56,604 --> 00:40:00,265
but I stayed watching as this, like, little kid.
743
00:40:04,074 --> 00:40:06,291
And, you know, these images I remember
744
00:40:06,316 --> 00:40:08,854
as incredibly shocking images to me, as a child.
745
00:40:08,856 --> 00:40:10,724
Because it was the first time that
746
00:40:10,749 --> 00:40:12,733
the kind of things that I had seen
747
00:40:12,758 --> 00:40:15,196
aligned with something...
748
00:40:15,221 --> 00:40:19,439
that... that was known about or was explored.
749
00:40:19,464 --> 00:40:20,917
A bunch of people came over,
and they're like,
750
00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:22,958
"let's watch this
'insidious' movie."
751
00:40:22,983 --> 00:40:24,303
And I was like,
"yeah, sure, why not?
752
00:40:24,328 --> 00:40:28,852
Like. I don't care," and, like.., and like
about 20 like minutes into the movie,
753
00:40:28,877 --> 00:40:32,175
I'm like, "This is about sleep paralysis, I'm pretty sure."
754
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,530
I was like, "Alright, that's kind of cool.
755
00:40:33,532 --> 00:40:36,433
Somebody made a horror movie about it."
756
00:40:36,435 --> 00:40:39,142
When, you know,
the dude's, like, in the chair,
757
00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:43,403
he just goes into this world,
and he's searching for the kid.
758
00:40:43,428 --> 00:40:45,470
They're pulling from so many different parts
759
00:40:45,494 --> 00:40:48,013
of sleep paralysis lore.
760
00:40:48,038 --> 00:40:50,767
The shadow man.
761
00:40:53,555 --> 00:40:56,653
- Out of Body Experiences -
I kept leaving my body.
762
00:40:56,677 --> 00:40:59,744
The night hag. The old hag.
763
00:40:59,976 --> 00:41:03,712
I sat there and, like,
just kind of getting annoyed.
764
00:41:03,714 --> 00:41:05,881
I... I mean,
I don't even know why, like.
765
00:41:05,906 --> 00:41:07,467
It wasn't like,
"this movie sucks!"
766
00:41:07,492 --> 00:41:09,913
I mean, it was--
it was okay.
767
00:41:09,938 --> 00:41:11,978
And then,
all of a sudden,
768
00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:14,085
they do, like,
the head shaking thing,
769
00:41:14,087 --> 00:41:16,683
like this, like, weird--
770
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:19,348
You know. It was in "Jacob's Ladder,"
and it freaked me out. Like.
771
00:41:19,373 --> 00:41:21,656
I was like, "that's exactly how it feels."
It's like...
772
00:41:21,681 --> 00:41:25,091
And that was the first time
I ever...
773
00:41:26,159 --> 00:41:30,218
I saw somebody represent
what it feels like--
774
00:41:30,243 --> 00:41:32,255
or I guess,
not what it feels like or--
775
00:41:32,257 --> 00:41:35,463
what it feels like
it looks like to be in it,
776
00:41:35,488 --> 00:41:36,837
like when I’m coming out,
like, sometimes
777
00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:38,495
my jaw will, like,
778
00:41:38,497 --> 00:41:40,726
just fucking go back and forth real quick,
779
00:41:40,751 --> 00:41:44,078
or, like, my head will shoot from side to side.
780
00:41:44,103 --> 00:41:46,886
And it's what I imagine it looks like.
781
00:41:46,911 --> 00:41:50,420
Even my girlfriend, she was like,
782
00:41:50,445 --> 00:41:53,266
you know,
"Those weird head movements,
783
00:41:53,291 --> 00:41:56,462
like, that's kind of what it's
like for me to watch,
784
00:41:56,487 --> 00:41:59,586
you know,
except not magically blurry."
785
00:41:59,611 --> 00:42:01,877
That's the sleep paralysis.
Hey, it's got to be.
786
00:42:01,902 --> 00:42:04,687
Yeah, I had my own sleep paralysis episode,
787
00:42:04,689 --> 00:42:07,534
and, well, in that one, it was sort of like a classic
788
00:42:07,559 --> 00:42:09,436
3-dimensional, black shadow man,
789
00:42:09,461 --> 00:42:11,990
who came up in the woods behind my house, and
790
00:42:12,015 --> 00:42:14,143
leaned over my bed.
791
00:42:14,418 --> 00:42:17,690
And I think maybe a year or two later,
792
00:42:17,715 --> 00:42:19,708
I saw "Natural Born Killers."
793
00:42:19,733 --> 00:42:23,527
And there's a scene,and it goes by just in a flash,
794
00:42:23,552 --> 00:42:27,344
where that guy is, like, in the opening credits,
795
00:42:27,369 --> 00:42:32,220
He's coming through, like, this strange red tunnel,
796
00:42:32,222 --> 00:42:34,677
cloudy vortex thing.
797
00:42:34,802 --> 00:42:38,702
I think it's over the credit of "producer Arnon Milchan."
798
00:42:38,727 --> 00:42:40,572
But it went by in a flash,
799
00:42:40,597 --> 00:42:43,195
and it must have been kind of complicated
800
00:42:43,220 --> 00:42:44,193
to call into existence.
801
00:42:44,195 --> 00:42:46,480
So I was like, "why was that there?"
802
00:42:46,505 --> 00:42:48,894
And I still didn't know what sleep paralysis was.
803
00:42:48,919 --> 00:42:51,984
I didn't know
that anyone else had had it.
804
00:42:52,009 --> 00:42:55,256
So I saw that and almost
kind of took it as a message,
805
00:42:55,281 --> 00:42:58,185
like, "the people
who made this film
806
00:42:58,210 --> 00:43:01,203
had the same experience
that I did."
807
00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:03,922
And it's kind of like...
808
00:43:03,962 --> 00:43:08,107
a signal to me in some--
some strange, scary way.
809
00:43:08,132 --> 00:43:09,264
No, it's true.
810
00:43:09,289 --> 00:43:10,908
I mean. It was kind
of the same as a child.
811
00:43:10,933 --> 00:43:12,871
It was very validating.
812
00:43:16,458 --> 00:43:20,345
- Mechanisms of Avoidance -
813
00:43:21,623 --> 00:43:24,462
I never thought it was
my mind playing tricks on me.
814
00:43:24,487 --> 00:43:27,566
I just knew something bad
was always happening to me.
815
00:43:27,591 --> 00:43:31,118
And I didn't-- I didn't
know what to do about it.
816
00:43:31,143 --> 00:43:33,236
I've prayed my whole life.
I still pray.
817
00:43:33,261 --> 00:43:35,658
I'm a very spiritual person.
818
00:43:35,683 --> 00:43:38,212
However,
praying never made it go away,
819
00:43:38,237 --> 00:43:41,263
even when
I was within the attack.
820
00:43:41,288 --> 00:43:45,825
I would pray within the attack,
and still, no help.
821
00:43:45,850 --> 00:43:48,924
I started exercising,
started eating better,
822
00:43:48,949 --> 00:43:51,676
cut back on caffeine and doing
all that kind of stuff,
823
00:43:51,701 --> 00:43:55,356
and... just no matter
what I did, though, it was--
824
00:43:55,381 --> 00:43:57,729
it had absolutely no effect
on the sleep paralysis,
825
00:43:57,754 --> 00:44:01,287
and it just kept happening
night after night after night.
826
00:44:01,312 --> 00:44:03,521
I finally decided
to go to one of these ladies
827
00:44:03,546 --> 00:44:06,457
that read cards,
and she says,
828
00:44:06,482 --> 00:44:08,564
"I can't look into your house.
829
00:44:08,589 --> 00:44:11,312
I'm trying to look
into your house, but...
830
00:44:11,705 --> 00:44:15,715
I see this black shadow over it."
831
00:44:15,717 --> 00:44:18,354
I thought I was abducted
by aliens for a long time,
832
00:44:18,379 --> 00:44:20,609
years, years
and years and years.
833
00:44:20,634 --> 00:44:22,426
Before I went to bed every night,
834
00:44:22,451 --> 00:44:25,238
I would lay in my bed and close my eyes
835
00:44:25,263 --> 00:44:27,864
and just pray, "Not tonight. Not tonight,
836
00:44:27,866 --> 00:44:30,426
not tonight, not tonight, not tonight, not tonight."
837
00:44:30,451 --> 00:44:32,669
And I would just repeat it over and over and over in my head,
838
00:44:32,671 --> 00:44:35,127
as if I had some kind of psychic bond
839
00:44:35,152 --> 00:44:37,940
with my alien abductors
840
00:44:37,942 --> 00:44:41,744
and that I could communicate with them telepathically,
841
00:44:41,746 --> 00:44:45,249
and just plead with them, to make tonight not the night
842
00:44:45,274 --> 00:44:48,673
that they would come back and do that to me.
843
00:44:50,618 --> 00:44:52,722
Over the years, I would find
844
00:44:52,747 --> 00:44:55,372
different mechanisms to avoid sleep paralysis.
845
00:44:55,397 --> 00:44:59,568
I noticed that it wouldn't happen every night
846
00:44:59,593 --> 00:45:01,415
if certain requirements were met,
847
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:03,561
like, if I would--
848
00:45:03,586 --> 00:45:05,872
like, there would be, like, a TV in my room.
849
00:45:05,897 --> 00:45:08,271
And if I left it on, it was for some reason
850
00:45:08,273 --> 00:45:11,732
it was easier for me not to get hit by the paralysis.
851
00:45:11,757 --> 00:45:14,197
And, you know,
younger me thought it was
852
00:45:14,222 --> 00:45:15,912
maybe that little
high-pitched noise,
853
00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:17,780
tbs make
when you leave them on,
854
00:45:17,782 --> 00:45:20,232
so I would leave it on
overnight on mute
855
00:45:20,257 --> 00:45:22,645
for that little
high-pitched noise.
856
00:45:22,670 --> 00:45:25,312
Eventually, that stopped working after about a year.
857
00:45:25,337 --> 00:45:27,518
So I decided, like, "You know what?
858
00:45:27,543 --> 00:45:30,260
If one TV worked, what about two?"
859
00:45:30,285 --> 00:45:35,305
And I used to collect junk, so TVs, like, were plentiful.
860
00:45:35,330 --> 00:45:37,533
And two worked for a little while.
861
00:45:37,558 --> 00:45:41,686
And I just escalated with that for a while,
862
00:45:41,711 --> 00:45:46,685
'cause I’m pretty smart, apparently.
863
00:45:46,710 --> 00:45:49,540
No, it made me look like a crazy person until one day,
864
00:45:49,565 --> 00:45:53,015
I realized that even if this was a problem.
865
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,330
This was not a functional way of, like, dealing with it.
866
00:45:56,355 --> 00:46:00,632
So I just removed all the TVs
at that point from my room, and.
867
00:46:00,657 --> 00:46:02,864
You know, all it did
was leave me
868
00:46:02,889 --> 00:46:07,026
with a much stronger and more
elaborate sleep paralysis.
869
00:46:07,051 --> 00:46:10,000
And that's kind of the thing
that I’ve realized is...
870
00:46:10,025 --> 00:46:11,652
if you have it every day
871
00:46:11,677 --> 00:46:14,419
and you have multiple episodes
a day,
872
00:46:14,444 --> 00:46:17,198
it will kind of learn
how to adapt to you.
873
00:46:17,223 --> 00:46:19,656
Like,
if you try to, like,
874
00:46:19,681 --> 00:46:21,715
avoid it,
it will find you,
875
00:46:21,740 --> 00:46:24,928
and it will make it happen
somehow.
876
00:46:28,662 --> 00:46:34,682
- Now it Hurts -
877
00:46:44,020 --> 00:46:46,046
And...
878
00:46:46,071 --> 00:46:47,091
Another time,
879
00:46:47,116 --> 00:46:50,290
I actually felt it
go on the bed.
880
00:46:50,315 --> 00:46:52,182
You know, it was as if
it's climbing up.
881
00:46:52,207 --> 00:46:54,947
I was laying there,
and it came here.
882
00:46:54,972 --> 00:46:57,804
I...
just closed my eyes.
883
00:47:14,068 --> 00:47:16,076
And it was on top of me,
884
00:47:16,101 --> 00:47:17,932
and it was--
885
00:47:17,957 --> 00:47:21,351
it's like I was
having sex with this thing.
886
00:47:32,397 --> 00:47:35,479
And I said, "oh, my god,
this can't be real.
887
00:47:35,504 --> 00:47:37,396
This can't be real."
888
00:47:37,421 --> 00:47:39,551
This demonic thing,
and I don't know,
889
00:47:39,576 --> 00:47:41,338
why am I feeling this?
890
00:47:41,363 --> 00:47:44,373
What else is gonna happen next?
But it happened.
891
00:47:44,398 --> 00:47:45,563
Did you see anything?
892
00:47:45,588 --> 00:47:48,462
I didn't see anything.
It was just the feeling.
893
00:47:48,487 --> 00:47:51,251
And then it was gone again.
894
00:47:56,562 --> 00:47:58,918
A lot of firsts
all happened in one night.
895
00:47:58,943 --> 00:48:00,725
When the pain
started happening,
896
00:48:00,750 --> 00:48:02,358
the hallucinations
got more vivid,
897
00:48:02,383 --> 00:48:04,540
and I started to be able
to be
898
00:48:04,565 --> 00:48:06,733
interacted with.
899
00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:15,550
And I go directly into this very, you know, lucid dream.
900
00:48:15,575 --> 00:48:18,361
I remember the architecture of this ..
901
00:48:18,363 --> 00:48:22,305
world, of this dream, it was just very angular,
902
00:48:22,330 --> 00:48:24,491
and I’m just kind of walking on it.
903
00:48:27,007 --> 00:48:29,105
There were, like, stairs that went down to places
904
00:48:29,107 --> 00:48:31,967
that they should have thought out a little bit better.
905
00:48:41,199 --> 00:48:42,429
As I was walking around,
906
00:48:42,454 --> 00:48:45,484
I remember a kid that I was friends with
907
00:48:45,509 --> 00:48:47,699
growing up in elementary school,
908
00:48:47,724 --> 00:48:49,287
my only friend from elementary school
909
00:48:49,312 --> 00:48:51,248
comes up to me, and his name was Danny.
910
00:48:51,273 --> 00:48:56,175
And behind him is this gigantic dude
911
00:48:56,200 --> 00:49:00,447
with really crazy orange hair.
912
00:49:00,472 --> 00:49:04,727
And Danny says, "This is him. Can I go now?"
913
00:49:04,752 --> 00:49:07,140
And he just leaves the guy with me.
914
00:49:11,078 --> 00:49:13,864
And he repeats, "You know who I am."
915
00:49:13,889 --> 00:49:17,583
I start thinking of like. Why I don't know you, I don't.
916
00:49:17,608 --> 00:49:20,779
I start listing places. "Do I know you from school?
917
00:49:20,781 --> 00:49:23,209
"Do I know you from McDonald’s?"
918
00:49:23,234 --> 00:49:25,061
'Cause I used to work at McDonald’s.
919
00:49:25,063 --> 00:49:27,163
"Do I remember you from The Comic Book Depot?"
920
00:49:27,165 --> 00:49:29,476
Which was my comic book store.
921
00:49:29,501 --> 00:49:31,901
And he just keeps on going,
922
00:49:31,926 --> 00:49:36,712
"No. But you know who I am." One last time.
923
00:49:36,737 --> 00:49:39,459
And then the entire world just disappears,
924
00:49:39,484 --> 00:49:42,263
and I’m in the strongest sleep-paralysis episode
925
00:49:42,288 --> 00:49:43,952
I’ve ever had in my life.
926
00:49:43,977 --> 00:49:45,982
Like, I cannot move.
927
00:49:45,984 --> 00:49:48,481
Like, I can't even try to force myself out of it.
928
00:49:48,506 --> 00:49:50,664
Like, that little wiggle room I get sometimes
929
00:49:50,689 --> 00:49:52,558
just wasn't there.
930
00:49:52,583 --> 00:49:56,182
And it felt like I was completely constrained,
931
00:49:56,207 --> 00:49:57,393
you know, fully,
932
00:49:57,395 --> 00:49:59,801
to the point where I’m just trying to breathe,
933
00:49:59,826 --> 00:50:02,882
because I don't know what else to do.
934
00:50:02,907 --> 00:50:04,946
Immediately after that dream drops,
935
00:50:04,971 --> 00:50:08,341
and everything's gone, he kind of fizzles away.
936
00:50:12,366 --> 00:50:15,029
And this was the first experience with pain.
937
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:16,212
If I had to describe it,
938
00:50:16,214 --> 00:50:18,481
picture like a claw-machine game.
939
00:50:18,483 --> 00:50:22,512
You know, three-- three little things.
940
00:50:22,537 --> 00:50:25,484
And that's
when the pain starts coming.
941
00:50:34,258 --> 00:50:36,297
The worst one is when
it's around, like,
942
00:50:36,322 --> 00:50:39,272
you know,
my fucking dick.
943
00:50:51,321 --> 00:50:54,893
And I still felt the pain after I woke up.
944
00:50:57,417 --> 00:50:59,195
I did not go back to sleep that night,
945
00:50:59,220 --> 00:51:01,044
I remember, and I think I just played
946
00:51:01,069 --> 00:51:02,743
video games until the morning
947
00:51:02,768 --> 00:51:04,611
and kind of questioned my existence.
948
00:51:04,636 --> 00:51:06,781
Like, I just remember being like,
949
00:51:06,806 --> 00:51:09,788
"and this is different now, and now it hurts,
950
00:51:09,813 --> 00:51:12,223
and now there's a dude talking to me."
951
00:51:12,248 --> 00:51:14,403
And,
like,
952
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:17,628
I... that was kind of when I started to feel a little crazy.
953
00:51:17,653 --> 00:51:21,075
Like, I started to feel likesomething was definitely wrong.
954
00:51:21,100 --> 00:51:22,849
Was it me?
Maybe.
955
00:51:22,874 --> 00:51:24,768
Was it something supernatural?
Maybe.
956
00:51:24,793 --> 00:51:28,001
I immediately stopped
being an atheist.
957
00:51:31,153 --> 00:51:35,599
And sometimes
they're very, um... articulate,
958
00:51:35,624 --> 00:51:37,789
like that one was
when I was a little boy,
959
00:51:37,814 --> 00:51:39,831
and they'll be like,
"oh, I can talk to you,
960
00:51:39,856 --> 00:51:42,287
and I know your name,"
and this and that.
961
00:51:42,326 --> 00:51:46,728
And sometimes, they're just,
like, gobbledygooking,
962
00:51:46,753 --> 00:51:47,824
just, "blah, blah, blah,"
963
00:51:47,849 --> 00:51:50,592
like they don't have
the capability to speak anymore.
964
00:51:50,617 --> 00:51:53,676
When I was older and I went back... to the house
965
00:51:53,701 --> 00:51:54,802
and was staying there.
966
00:51:54,827 --> 00:51:56,978
I mean, I hated... going back to that house.
967
00:51:56,980 --> 00:51:58,835
You know, I had other bad experiences there,
968
00:51:58,860 --> 00:52:02,151
and so I hated going back there.
I hated sleeping there.
969
00:52:02,153 --> 00:52:03,981
I would usually--
if I go back there and visit,
970
00:52:04,006 --> 00:52:06,155
I leave the TV on
971
00:52:06,157 --> 00:52:09,192
because it's just such an overwhelming force.
972
00:52:09,217 --> 00:52:12,170
So I fell asleep,
and I had this nightmare.
973
00:52:13,202 --> 00:52:16,099
And then I woke up, and then I
woke up in a sleep paralysis.
974
00:52:16,124 --> 00:52:17,864
And I was like, "Oh, hmm," you know?
975
00:52:17,889 --> 00:52:19,835
But I was so put off by the dream
976
00:52:19,860 --> 00:52:21,525
that I wasn't immediately shocked by the state
977
00:52:21,550 --> 00:52:24,632
of sleep paralysis,which normally is what it does.
978
00:52:24,657 --> 00:52:26,438
And I can kind of see it out of the corner of my eyes,
979
00:52:26,463 --> 00:52:27,672
that there was this man
980
00:52:27,697 --> 00:52:29,278
standing down at the end of my bed,
981
00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:32,555
kind of like this schlumpy old man.
982
00:52:35,347 --> 00:52:37,909
That's too young
for some reason.
983
00:52:37,934 --> 00:52:40,053
Maybe it's his posture.
984
00:52:40,078 --> 00:52:44,732
And I’m like,
"Huh," like, "that's weird."
985
00:52:44,757 --> 00:52:47,865
So I'm lying there, and there's this man
986
00:52:47,890 --> 00:52:51,340
down at the end of the bed, and he says to me,
987
00:52:51,365 --> 00:52:54,168
he says, "Forrest...
988
00:52:54,170 --> 00:52:57,531
You just came all over your mother's sheets."
989
00:52:57,556 --> 00:53:01,731
You just masturbated all over
your mother's bed sheets.
990
00:53:01,762 --> 00:53:05,923
You're disgusting!
A pervert.
991
00:53:05,925 --> 00:53:08,339
And I had not masturbated
that night,
992
00:53:08,364 --> 00:53:09,868
I will say.
993
00:53:09,893 --> 00:53:12,895
But his voice
was immediately familiar.
994
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,636
As the voice that talked to me as a child.
995
00:53:15,661 --> 00:53:18,368
The same voice. It was like--
996
00:53:18,393 --> 00:53:20,206
it was like as if,
997
00:53:20,231 --> 00:53:22,398
you know, you get a phone call
from a relative
998
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,300
or somebody you haven't
talked to in a while,
999
00:53:24,302 --> 00:53:27,817
run into an old friend
and hear their voice first,
1000
00:53:27,842 --> 00:53:29,957
and you recognize the voice.
1001
00:53:29,982 --> 00:53:31,244
You haven't heard it
for a long time.
1002
00:53:31,269 --> 00:53:32,706
But you know it. It's that person.
1003
00:53:32,731 --> 00:53:34,134
And I had that experience, I’m like,
1004
00:53:34,136 --> 00:53:35,816
"Oh, it's that voice.
1005
00:53:35,841 --> 00:53:36,900
That man."
1006
00:53:36,925 --> 00:53:40,080
I've seen him like
2 or 3 more times
1007
00:53:40,105 --> 00:53:42,610
in that physical incarnation.
1008
00:53:42,635 --> 00:53:45,708
But I’ve also had, like, times where ...
1009
00:53:45,733 --> 00:53:47,466
I've seen...
1010
00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:49,591
people, that have approached me the same way
1011
00:53:49,616 --> 00:53:52,747
and I’ve felt like, "Yes, that's him."
1012
00:53:52,772 --> 00:53:54,930
Like, I-- it was a different body,
1013
00:53:54,932 --> 00:53:59,940
but it was that same... entity that was talking to me.
1014
00:54:01,104 --> 00:54:02,504
We had a friend staying over.
1015
00:54:02,506 --> 00:54:04,273
Like. We had people over that night,
1016
00:54:04,275 --> 00:54:06,510
and we had a one-bedroom
tiny apartment.
1017
00:54:06,535 --> 00:54:09,921
So we're all
kind of crammed into my bed.
1018
00:54:10,162 --> 00:54:12,061
And...
1019
00:54:12,086 --> 00:54:14,695
I remember I had...
1020
00:54:16,537 --> 00:54:17,948
Um, gone to sleep.
1021
00:54:17,973 --> 00:54:20,099
You know, the two girls, they were asleep.
1022
00:54:20,124 --> 00:54:23,061
You know, they were out like a light.
1023
00:54:23,086 --> 00:54:25,233
Almost immediately, the paralysis hits.
1024
00:54:25,258 --> 00:54:27,819
Normal paralysis. Completely normal.
1025
00:54:27,844 --> 00:54:31,732
You know, situation, like, stereotypical dark room,
1026
00:54:31,757 --> 00:54:34,770
but in this, there's a really tall entity,
1027
00:54:34,795 --> 00:54:38,307
like, you know, if the room's eight feet tall,
1028
00:54:38,309 --> 00:54:40,290
he is an eight-foot-tall dude with a hunch.
1029
00:54:40,315 --> 00:54:42,955
Like, he is not fitting in this room.
1030
00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:46,269
And they were red eyes. This is what I remembered.
1031
00:54:46,294 --> 00:54:49,142
And very moth man type shit, actually.
1032
00:54:49,167 --> 00:54:50,645
And it starts talking to me.
1033
00:54:50,647 --> 00:54:52,912
He repeats, "You know who I am."
1034
00:54:52,937 --> 00:54:54,977
"You know who I am."
1035
00:54:55,002 --> 00:54:57,270
You don't know who I am.
1036
00:54:57,295 --> 00:55:00,274
Right now, but I know you.
1037
00:55:00,299 --> 00:55:03,498
And you know me.
1038
00:55:05,412 --> 00:55:09,794
You...
are going to die.
1039
00:55:18,662 --> 00:55:20,715
I just had
this horrible experience,
1040
00:55:20,740 --> 00:55:22,900
you know, and,
you know, I believed it.
1041
00:55:22,925 --> 00:55:24,053
I believed that this thing
was telling me
1042
00:55:24,055 --> 00:55:26,180
it was gonna kill me.
1043
00:55:26,205 --> 00:55:27,552
I'm going to die.
1044
00:55:27,577 --> 00:55:30,163
And I’m sitting here
feeling bad for her
1045
00:55:30,165 --> 00:55:32,401
that she's freaking out,
and I’m trying to calm her down.
1046
00:55:32,426 --> 00:55:34,837
I figure out she has this--
I figured she had a sleep terror
1047
00:55:34,862 --> 00:55:37,324
or something like that,
and she's telling me
1048
00:55:37,349 --> 00:55:39,489
that on her chest,she saw something on her chest,
1049
00:55:39,514 --> 00:55:42,639
a cat with red eyes, and it was looking at me
1050
00:55:42,664 --> 00:55:46,458
and talking in a language that she couldn't understand.
1051
00:55:46,483 --> 00:55:50,708
Like, it was on top of her but threatening me.
1052
00:55:58,388 --> 00:56:01,354
And the second she said it had red eyes,
1053
00:56:01,379 --> 00:56:03,984
I just, liked,
freaked out.
1054
00:56:04,009 --> 00:56:07,022
Like, I was just--
I, like--
1055
00:56:07,047 --> 00:56:09,016
I remember this was during
a time of my life
1056
00:56:09,041 --> 00:56:11,692
where I was like,
"Maybe I am crazy. It's fine."
1057
00:56:11,717 --> 00:56:13,042
And then this happened.
1058
00:56:13,067 --> 00:56:15,497
And then it immediately affirmed
I thought I was gonna be dead.
1059
00:56:15,522 --> 00:56:18,368
Like, I was like,
"Oh, I’m going to die."
1060
00:56:18,393 --> 00:56:20,553
And, like,
1061
00:56:20,578 --> 00:56:23,715
shit like that immediately makes me
want to be like,
1062
00:56:23,740 --> 00:56:25,378
"Fuck, like, regular life."
1063
00:56:25,403 --> 00:56:26,670
Like--
sorry about the language.
1064
00:56:26,695 --> 00:56:28,338
When things like that happen,
1065
00:56:28,363 --> 00:56:31,623
it's very hard
for me to be like,
1066
00:56:32,197 --> 00:56:33,991
"Yeah, I’m just gonna go
get a normal job
1067
00:56:34,016 --> 00:56:34,966
and, like, live my life."
1068
00:56:34,991 --> 00:56:37,381
Like, I’m like,
"I want to figure this out."
1069
00:56:41,044 --> 00:56:45,924
- Figuring This Out -
1070
00:56:48,549 --> 00:56:52,837
Any idea why it happens to you
more than other people?
1071
00:56:52,862 --> 00:56:54,324
I have no idea.
1072
00:56:54,349 --> 00:56:58,665
I mean, I guess, you know,
it's all presumption,
1073
00:56:58,690 --> 00:57:00,713
but, you know, you could assume
1074
00:57:00,738 --> 00:57:02,030
that maybe it had something to do
1075
00:57:02,055 --> 00:57:05,026
with being such a young child,
1076
00:57:05,389 --> 00:57:07,955
you know, and having such a profound experience.
1077
00:57:07,980 --> 00:57:11,013
You know, it's kind of like when you see something
1078
00:57:11,038 --> 00:57:12,974
for the first time, you know what it is.
1079
00:57:13,007 --> 00:57:16,511
You know, you go to sea world and see a killer whale,
1080
00:57:16,536 --> 00:57:17,576
and you've never seen it before,
1081
00:57:17,601 --> 00:57:19,361
and now you know what a killer whale is.
1082
00:57:19,386 --> 00:57:23,582
I read the very few websites out there about it,
1083
00:57:23,607 --> 00:57:27,067
and I didn't really learn anything new,
1084
00:57:27,092 --> 00:57:29,745
except for, there is a chemical,
1085
00:57:29,747 --> 00:57:32,217
melatonin, that goes into your system,
1086
00:57:32,242 --> 00:57:33,715
and is released upon sleep
1087
00:57:33,717 --> 00:57:36,054
that's supposed to paralyze you.
1088
00:57:36,079 --> 00:57:39,643
And I was like, "Okay, maybe this could be medical."
1089
00:57:39,668 --> 00:57:43,266
But again, there was never an explanation
1090
00:57:43,291 --> 00:57:44,827
for the shadow man
1091
00:57:44,829 --> 00:57:48,199
except for hypnagogic hallucinations,
1092
00:57:48,224 --> 00:57:50,933
which is a nice word that the
doctors like to throw around,
1093
00:57:50,935 --> 00:57:53,001
but it really means you just imagined it.
1094
00:57:53,003 --> 00:57:56,226
My guess is we conceptualize
things in our unconscious,
1095
00:57:56,228 --> 00:57:58,951
based on, like,
snippets of information
1096
00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:01,166
that we picked up
along the road somehow.
1097
00:58:01,191 --> 00:58:03,255
If I came from
an evangelical community
1098
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,047
where they really believed
in evil demons,
1099
00:58:05,049 --> 00:58:07,950
maybe my immediate association
from my unconscious
1100
00:58:07,952 --> 00:58:09,985
as I’m rising out of sleep,
would've been like,
1101
00:58:10,010 --> 00:58:11,889
"Oh, shit, it's the devil!"
1102
00:58:11,914 --> 00:58:13,733
Yeah, that's interesting.
1103
00:58:13,758 --> 00:58:16,058
Although, I wonder if you look at your own reaction
1104
00:58:16,060 --> 00:58:18,746
to your experiences
as similar in a way.
1105
00:58:18,771 --> 00:58:21,767
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Like, that's true.
1106
00:58:21,792 --> 00:58:23,632
Of course. Like,
also my unconscious is like,
1107
00:58:23,634 --> 00:58:25,814
"What is the scientific
explanation for this?
1108
00:58:25,839 --> 00:58:28,537
There must be a reason
that has to do with logic."
1109
00:58:28,539 --> 00:58:30,947
So, yeah, of course
I leapt for that, too.
1110
00:58:30,972 --> 00:58:33,334
I can see it just as easily as like
there's the commonality
1111
00:58:33,359 --> 00:58:36,515
of human experience, like,
how our brains and our hearts
1112
00:58:36,540 --> 00:58:38,351
and our personalities function,
like, we're all people.
1113
00:58:38,376 --> 00:58:40,325
Why wouldn't we see
similar things?
1114
00:58:40,350 --> 00:58:42,381
Like,
we're not different species.
1115
00:58:42,406 --> 00:58:45,727
Why wouldn't we have similar
go-to archetypes in our brain?
1116
00:58:45,752 --> 00:58:46,991
So Jungian.
1117
00:58:47,016 --> 00:58:50,421
But it can't entirely
be born from... you.
1118
00:58:50,446 --> 00:58:52,893
You know, that's to say
that everybody has in them
1119
00:58:52,918 --> 00:58:55,869
the capability of bringing out
these horrible things
1120
00:58:55,894 --> 00:58:58,838
before they've even witnessed
anything horrible.
1121
00:59:01,425 --> 00:59:04,013
It's one of my theories,
1122
00:59:04,015 --> 00:59:06,494
that we're actually
running our brain,
1123
00:59:06,519 --> 00:59:09,317
we're kind of overclocking it, you know, more than we would
1124
00:59:09,342 --> 00:59:11,909
when we're just sleeping or just awake.
1125
00:59:11,934 --> 00:59:15,674
And that kind of heightened sense of perception,
1126
00:59:15,699 --> 00:59:19,148
while we as humans...
1127
00:59:19,173 --> 00:59:22,090
Can't really--
we can't interpret it.
1128
00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:25,531
Like, we're still not, you know,
interpreting it right,
1129
00:59:25,556 --> 00:59:27,671
but now we're seeing
the raw data.
1130
00:59:27,696 --> 00:59:30,118
We're seeing, you know,
"Oh, that could be a demon."
1131
00:59:30,143 --> 00:59:31,800
I don't know how
to visualize a demon,
1132
00:59:31,802 --> 00:59:36,577
because that's not a thing
that my brain can interpret.
1133
00:59:36,602 --> 00:59:38,306
And, I mean, I actually kind of believe
1134
00:59:38,331 --> 00:59:40,313
that probably a lot of people who do believe
1135
00:59:40,338 --> 00:59:43,407
that they have been abducted, were actually victims
1136
00:59:43,432 --> 00:59:46,952
of sleep paralysis of varying degrees.
1137
00:59:49,665 --> 00:59:51,987
And of course, reading more about sleep paralysis,
1138
00:59:52,012 --> 00:59:54,931
and reading and realizing
the prevalence of this experience,
1139
00:59:54,956 --> 00:59:56,849
you know,
1140
00:59:56,874 --> 00:59:59,684
exists in every single culture
in the world.
1141
01:00:02,146 --> 01:00:04,376
There are these common
archetypes that keep popping up,
1142
01:00:04,401 --> 01:00:05,934
and all over the world.
1143
01:00:05,936 --> 01:00:07,723
Like, it's not just in America
1144
01:00:07,748 --> 01:00:09,715
people get these red-eyed demons.
1145
01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:12,371
And it's not-- you know, they're everywhere.
1146
01:00:12,396 --> 01:00:15,339
You know, the shadow man...
1147
01:00:16,861 --> 01:00:18,969
The cats on the chest.
1148
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:25,393
A giant cat that would come into somebody's house
1149
01:00:25,418 --> 01:00:26,437
while they were sleeping, hold them down--
1150
01:00:26,462 --> 01:00:28,657
it's like clawed-- like teeth and claws.
1151
01:00:28,659 --> 01:00:30,976
Sometimes metal or like metal-ish.
1152
01:00:31,001 --> 01:00:32,661
Yeah, there are the ones in turkey.
1153
01:00:32,663 --> 01:00:34,162
There's the ancient Morse--
1154
01:00:34,164 --> 01:00:36,865
the ancient Norse one, like, the mare.
1155
01:00:36,867 --> 01:00:41,602
And there are just so many. The haint, like "the haunt."
1156
01:00:43,340 --> 01:00:45,334
The Hmong immigrants.
1157
01:00:45,359 --> 01:00:47,956
Subsequently, a lot of them...
1158
01:00:47,981 --> 01:00:50,345
died, you know, from sleep paralysis.
1159
01:00:50,347 --> 01:00:52,314
Right, right, and I know Wes Craven
1160
01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:54,082
read an article about them, and
1161
01:00:54,084 --> 01:00:56,151
that helped inspire
"A Nightmare on Elm Street"
1162
01:00:56,153 --> 01:00:58,333
and Freddy Krueger, which,
you know, then went on
1163
01:00:58,358 --> 01:01:00,122
to create a weird feedback loop,
1164
01:01:00,124 --> 01:01:02,257
inspiring other people's nightmares
1165
01:01:02,259 --> 01:01:05,758
and sleep paralysis experiences.
1166
01:01:05,783 --> 01:01:08,442
So I had a dream
1167
01:01:08,467 --> 01:01:11,011
about Freddy krueger,
1168
01:01:11,321 --> 01:01:13,499
and he obviously
wanted to kill me,
1169
01:01:13,524 --> 01:01:14,711
wanted to harm me,
1170
01:01:14,736 --> 01:01:16,561
wanted to scare the crap out of me,
1171
01:01:16,586 --> 01:01:18,380
and I believe
1172
01:01:18,405 --> 01:01:20,642
that,
that fear...
1173
01:01:20,667 --> 01:01:22,593
Creates a substance,
1174
01:01:22,618 --> 01:01:27,087
and I got this black ink scared out of me,
1175
01:01:27,112 --> 01:01:29,269
like an ink fish.
1176
01:01:29,294 --> 01:01:32,434
And I believe that's what it eats.
1177
01:01:32,459 --> 01:01:35,891
The physicist Michio Kaku said that
1178
01:01:35,893 --> 01:01:38,279
maybe that we don't live in just one dimension,
1179
01:01:38,304 --> 01:01:40,708
that we live in multiple dimensions.
1180
01:01:40,733 --> 01:01:42,046
And...
1181
01:01:42,071 --> 01:01:43,753
if you imagine a block of flats
1182
01:01:43,778 --> 01:01:46,647
that as an infinite...
extension
1183
01:01:46,672 --> 01:01:49,805
of yourself, so it keeps adding
to itself all the time
1184
01:01:49,807 --> 01:01:52,040
and never stops, and in every room
1185
01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,233
of this
1186
01:01:54,258 --> 01:01:57,830
block of flats, is an entire universe like ours.
1187
01:01:57,855 --> 01:02:00,185
Now, in every other room,
1188
01:02:00,210 --> 01:02:03,559
there must be another universe.
1189
01:02:03,584 --> 01:02:06,208
So,
if...
1190
01:02:06,233 --> 01:02:08,693
that's true,
maybe some
1191
01:02:08,718 --> 01:02:12,391
other us have found our way into the hallway,
1192
01:02:12,416 --> 01:02:15,784
and are knocking on our door.
1193
01:02:22,437 --> 01:02:26,299
- Never Before, Never Again -
1194
01:02:30,303 --> 01:02:32,504
Ready,
two.
1195
01:02:40,813 --> 01:02:44,979
Right after my mom died,
I was very depressed.
1196
01:02:45,004 --> 01:02:46,751
And so I'd be crying.
1197
01:02:46,776 --> 01:02:49,418
You know, there was this one day
I remember
1198
01:02:49,443 --> 01:02:53,364
that I had a breakdown,
and I was crying a lot, a lot.
1199
01:02:53,389 --> 01:02:55,664
And then the next day,
since I work night shift,
1200
01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:59,186
I came home, slept--
you know, to sleep.
1201
01:02:59,772 --> 01:03:01,176
And then for some reason that day,
1202
01:03:01,178 --> 01:03:03,278
I wanted to sleep on my side.
1203
01:03:03,303 --> 01:03:08,145
So I slept on my sidefacing the door of the bedroom.
1204
01:03:08,170 --> 01:03:11,358
And all of a sudden, I felt
1205
01:03:11,383 --> 01:03:15,303
my body getting numb.
I felt it getting paralyzed.
1206
01:03:15,328 --> 01:03:17,981
And I said, Oh, my god. I'm getting this again."
1207
01:03:18,006 --> 01:03:20,392
But then it felt different.
1208
01:03:20,417 --> 01:03:23,209
I heard somebody walking.
1209
01:03:50,999 --> 01:03:53,740
This presence came around.
1210
01:03:53,765 --> 01:03:56,877
And it came behind me.
I was like this.
1211
01:03:56,902 --> 01:03:59,509
It came behind me,
and it hugged me.
1212
01:03:59,534 --> 01:04:02,493
And I heard the mattress depress also.
1213
01:04:02,518 --> 01:04:05,959
I heard that depress,
like someone went in the bed.
1214
01:04:05,984 --> 01:04:08,543
And I felt it was my mother, and I heard her voice,
1215
01:04:08,545 --> 01:04:12,189
and she says, "honey, I’m here. I'm here."
1216
01:04:12,214 --> 01:04:16,181
And it felt so different
from that past presence,
1217
01:04:16,206 --> 01:04:18,398
because, you know,
this was my mother.
1218
01:04:18,423 --> 01:04:20,110
It didn't feel evil.
1219
01:04:20,135 --> 01:04:22,597
It felt warm,
and I was happy.
1220
01:04:22,622 --> 01:04:24,746
And I would talk to her.
1221
01:04:24,771 --> 01:04:26,766
It's like--
through my mind I said,
1222
01:04:26,768 --> 01:04:29,023
"Oh, mommy, it's you.
Oh, my god."
1223
01:04:29,048 --> 01:04:33,710
And she's hugging me tight
saying, "I’m here, I’m here."
1224
01:04:33,735 --> 01:04:35,252
And that was just
a matter of seconds,
1225
01:04:35,277 --> 01:04:37,564
all of a sudden,
she was gone.
1226
01:04:37,589 --> 01:04:38,550
So I really--
you know,
1227
01:04:38,575 --> 01:04:43,435
I think it's my mom
that comes to visit us.
1228
01:04:43,460 --> 01:04:45,925
Does that still happen?
1229
01:04:45,950 --> 01:04:49,191
It happened, like, two or three times.
1230
01:04:49,216 --> 01:04:52,102
Because even though
I feel it's her,
1231
01:04:52,127 --> 01:04:55,090
there's a part of me
that sometimes says,
1232
01:04:55,115 --> 01:04:57,457
"What if it's this thing?"
1233
01:04:57,949 --> 01:05:01,270
Because sometimes when I have felt her,
1234
01:05:01,295 --> 01:05:03,625
all of a sudden, then it kind of switches,
1235
01:05:03,650 --> 01:05:07,128
and then I do feel, like, if there's another presence.
1236
01:05:07,153 --> 01:05:09,533
And then I don't know if it's this thing again
1237
01:05:09,558 --> 01:05:12,042
that used to haunt me back then
1238
01:05:12,067 --> 01:05:14,943
or if it is still her even though it does feel different.
1239
01:05:14,945 --> 01:05:17,395
I can tell the difference in both of them,
1240
01:05:17,420 --> 01:05:19,405
and I have said, "who are you?"
1241
01:05:19,430 --> 01:05:21,091
But of course, I don't get an answer.
1242
01:05:21,116 --> 01:05:22,968
And then it just lasts for a few seconds,
1243
01:05:22,993 --> 01:05:25,055
and it's gone.
1244
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:36,558
The one that stands out
above all others,
1245
01:05:36,583 --> 01:05:37,966
it happened one night
1246
01:05:37,968 --> 01:05:40,157
when me and my girlfriend
went to bed,
1247
01:05:40,182 --> 01:05:44,211
and it was around 10:00,
and I wasn't really tired.
1248
01:05:44,236 --> 01:05:47,389
So I played on my phone for a bit,
1249
01:05:47,560 --> 01:05:48,827
a game on the phone,
1250
01:05:48,852 --> 01:05:51,787
and I must have fallen asleep.
1251
01:05:58,677 --> 01:06:00,444
When I woke up,
1252
01:06:00,446 --> 01:06:01,866
I stood at the side of my bed,
1253
01:06:01,891 --> 01:06:04,698
in a very oppressive
atmosphere.
1254
01:06:04,723 --> 01:06:06,987
I can't describe
the atmosphere to you,
1255
01:06:07,012 --> 01:06:08,161
unless you were there.
1256
01:06:08,186 --> 01:06:10,931
I mean, I’ve never
experienced it before
1257
01:06:10,956 --> 01:06:13,121
and I’ve never experienced it
again like that.
1258
01:06:13,146 --> 01:06:17,140
It's a...
kind of a very staticky...
1259
01:06:17,929 --> 01:06:20,626
Uh, just presence of evil.
1260
01:06:20,651 --> 01:06:23,011
And as I turned to my left,
1261
01:06:23,013 --> 01:06:27,813
I see my girlfriend in bed, and I see me in bed.
1262
01:06:27,838 --> 01:06:32,450
And now I’m confused, but I also see my eyes open,
1263
01:06:32,475 --> 01:06:35,204
and then I heard myself labored breathing,
1264
01:06:35,229 --> 01:06:38,274
which is what I do when I have a sleep paralysis attack.
1265
01:06:38,299 --> 01:06:42,069
I'm shocked, scared, and...
1266
01:06:42,530 --> 01:06:45,300
I don't know--
I don't know what's going on.
1267
01:06:45,302 --> 01:06:47,508
I'm confused
more than anything.
1268
01:06:47,510 --> 01:06:49,881
I can't--
I can't think straight.
1269
01:06:49,906 --> 01:06:51,405
I don't know what's going on.
1270
01:06:51,430 --> 01:06:54,553
And almost instantly,
as I’m thinking that,
1271
01:06:54,578 --> 01:06:58,579
I can see three beings
over in this corner of the room.
1272
01:07:04,033 --> 01:07:06,221
There's no...
looking me up and down
1273
01:07:06,223 --> 01:07:09,157
and seeing who I am
and what I’m doing there.
1274
01:07:09,159 --> 01:07:12,260
They-- the two generic shadow people,
1275
01:07:12,262 --> 01:07:14,831
they advance on me straightaway.
1276
01:07:17,611 --> 01:07:20,708
A grapple ensued
between me and them.
1277
01:07:26,677 --> 01:07:29,720
I'd like to say it was a...
a noble fight,
1278
01:07:29,745 --> 01:07:31,127
that I had to
1279
01:07:31,152 --> 01:07:33,641
really...
put my foot down and win,
1280
01:07:33,666 --> 01:07:34,410
but it wasn't.
1281
01:07:34,435 --> 01:07:37,419
They just...
retreated straightaway
1282
01:07:37,444 --> 01:07:40,242
when I put resistance up behind the hat man.
1283
01:07:40,267 --> 01:07:43,000
And the hat man shielded them.
1284
01:07:43,002 --> 01:07:46,563
And I had no intention of going forward to...
1285
01:07:46,588 --> 01:07:47,682
to investigate any more.
1286
01:07:47,707 --> 01:07:50,709
All I know is that
I have to get back in bed,
1287
01:07:50,734 --> 01:07:53,229
that some sort of--
1288
01:07:53,254 --> 01:07:54,501
some voice in my head saying
1289
01:07:54,526 --> 01:07:57,105
and my own voice saying,
"Get back in bed."
1290
01:07:57,107 --> 01:08:01,567
And as I turned,
I can see a long silver thread,
1291
01:08:01,592 --> 01:08:05,550
for want of a better word, that's going towards my body.
1292
01:08:05,575 --> 01:08:10,009
And I decide that now I have
got to get back into bed.
1293
01:08:10,034 --> 01:08:13,683
And just as I decide that, I shoot up in bed.
1294
01:08:13,708 --> 01:08:16,653
There's no in between,
1295
01:08:16,678 --> 01:08:18,259
going back in my body or whatever.
1296
01:08:18,261 --> 01:08:19,957
It's just I’m there.
1297
01:08:19,982 --> 01:08:22,830
I sit straight up,
and I go downstairs
1298
01:08:22,855 --> 01:08:24,299
into the kitchen,
get a drink,
1299
01:08:24,301 --> 01:08:27,679
and I’m instantly hit
by the fear and guilt,
1300
01:08:27,704 --> 01:08:30,558
that I’ve left her
on her own upstairs.
1301
01:08:30,583 --> 01:08:31,598
Because they're still
in that room.
1302
01:08:31,623 --> 01:08:33,025
I know they're still
in that room.
1303
01:08:33,050 --> 01:08:36,770
And as I go back upstairs,
I sit in bed,
1304
01:08:36,795 --> 01:08:38,501
and I stay up all night.
1305
01:08:38,526 --> 01:08:40,846
And it's like I’m on watch.
1306
01:09:07,453 --> 01:09:10,165
They just wanted me really bad.
1307
01:09:12,138 --> 01:09:14,637
I remember I was just sort of laying in my bed,
1308
01:09:14,662 --> 01:09:18,589
and then there's now the loud noise,
1309
01:09:18,614 --> 01:09:20,898
and, oh, I hate the sound
of the noise.
1310
01:09:20,923 --> 01:09:24,114
It's, like, almost like
spirits or demons,
1311
01:09:24,139 --> 01:09:26,130
like, kind of like
screaming at you.
1312
01:09:27,040 --> 01:09:28,829
So then you hear, like a...
1313
01:09:28,854 --> 01:09:31,328
it's almost like
a buzzing that starts,
1314
01:09:31,353 --> 01:09:34,789
and then I can sense
a presence,
1315
01:09:34,814 --> 01:09:36,893
right--
like, standing over me.
1316
01:09:36,918 --> 01:09:39,476
Just standing right here
next to me.
1317
01:09:39,501 --> 01:09:42,724
On my bed
standing over me.
1318
01:09:43,846 --> 01:09:45,601
Then you hear, like,
this sound.
1319
01:09:45,626 --> 01:09:46,772
It's like--
it feels like
1320
01:09:46,797 --> 01:09:50,168
somebody's screaming
right in your ear,
1321
01:09:50,193 --> 01:09:53,406
like they're right here,
and they're screaming.
1322
01:10:07,279 --> 01:10:09,093
And I can sense the color red,
1323
01:10:09,118 --> 01:10:12,484
as if they were wearing
something red
1324
01:10:12,509 --> 01:10:17,658
or like a dark red robe
or some kind, something red.
1325
01:10:17,683 --> 01:10:21,401
And I tried to look at the face,
but I couldn't.
1326
01:10:21,403 --> 01:10:24,287
Like, every inch,
every centimeter
1327
01:10:24,312 --> 01:10:26,955
feels like over a ton.
1328
01:10:27,513 --> 01:10:30,425
And so I'm trying to move, and I wanna see it,
1329
01:10:30,427 --> 01:10:32,862
and I’m looking, like straining to look up,
1330
01:10:32,887 --> 01:10:34,448
straining to look up.
1331
01:10:34,473 --> 01:10:37,243
I could-- I could barely move my head.
1332
01:10:37,268 --> 01:10:40,251
It was almost going like this,
like--
1333
01:10:42,184 --> 01:10:43,960
and then,
1334
01:10:43,985 --> 01:10:45,459
I think I said something.
1335
01:10:45,484 --> 01:10:47,634
I just said,
"I remember this guy.
1336
01:10:47,659 --> 01:10:48,628
His name is Jesus,
1337
01:10:48,653 --> 01:10:50,639
and I’m gonna use his name
right now.
1338
01:10:50,664 --> 01:10:52,380
And I’m gonna say just,
"in Jesus' name,"
1339
01:10:52,382 --> 01:10:57,810
you know, "get out," or--
I said something to that effect.
1340
01:10:57,835 --> 01:10:59,545
Jesus.
1341
01:11:03,628 --> 01:11:05,362
Jesus.
1342
01:11:07,566 --> 01:11:09,742
In Jesus' name.
1343
01:11:09,767 --> 01:11:13,955
In Jesus' name.
1344
01:11:13,980 --> 01:11:16,240
Get out.
1345
01:11:19,078 --> 01:11:22,410
And I suddenly sensed
that the demons,
1346
01:11:22,412 --> 01:11:24,712
or the thing
that was happening to me,
1347
01:11:24,714 --> 01:11:28,889
that evil presence
just left. Gone.
1348
01:11:29,994 --> 01:11:31,452
And it was amazing.
1349
01:11:31,454 --> 01:11:34,224
It was like a feeling
of victory,
1350
01:11:34,474 --> 01:11:36,190
Yeah.
1351
01:11:36,215 --> 01:11:37,355
And they never came back?
1352
01:11:37,380 --> 01:11:40,361
They never came back.
I wasn't even a christian then.
1353
01:11:40,363 --> 01:11:42,938
I actually abhorred religion.
1354
01:11:42,963 --> 01:11:44,970
I didn't want--
1355
01:11:44,995 --> 01:11:46,555
some lady a long time
ago told me
1356
01:11:46,580 --> 01:11:49,314
I should marry a christian man,
and I just laughed in her face.
1357
01:11:49,339 --> 01:11:53,291
Anyways...,
I learned very late in my life
1358
01:11:53,316 --> 01:11:54,934
that the name of Jesus
has power,
1359
01:11:54,959 --> 01:11:58,984
and that's how
I became a christian.
1360
01:11:59,009 --> 01:12:03,187
So uh... does,
do you not--
1361
01:12:03,212 --> 01:12:06,354
do you believe in the Wikipedia definition
1362
01:12:06,356 --> 01:12:08,885
of sleep paralysis?
1363
01:12:08,910 --> 01:12:09,924
No.
1364
01:12:09,926 --> 01:12:13,580
Um, that would be
sort of like the--
1365
01:12:14,375 --> 01:12:16,468
I guess, the--
1366
01:12:16,493 --> 01:12:18,205
the worldly term,
1367
01:12:18,230 --> 01:12:19,901
like, what people
would deem as
1368
01:12:19,903 --> 01:12:23,645
something that's a
physiological response,
1369
01:12:23,670 --> 01:12:25,817
that it's like a natural thing
that happens with the body.
1370
01:12:25,842 --> 01:12:29,444
But I don't think that's true.
1371
01:12:29,469 --> 01:12:31,753
I do think that it's
1372
01:12:31,778 --> 01:12:35,176
something to do
with the spiritual realm.
1373
01:12:35,201 --> 01:12:37,728
And it's closely tied with
1374
01:12:37,753 --> 01:12:40,483
possibly demonic activity.
1375
01:12:40,508 --> 01:12:42,285
At 33 years old,
1376
01:12:42,310 --> 01:12:44,593
I don't think it's gonna get
any better for me.
1377
01:12:44,618 --> 01:12:46,100
I've experienced it
most of my life,
1378
01:12:46,125 --> 01:12:47,495
if not all my life.
1379
01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:49,431
I know what it's like.
1380
01:12:49,456 --> 01:12:51,054
I don't believe
that this is just
1381
01:12:51,079 --> 01:12:52,150
a rare occurrence.
1382
01:12:52,175 --> 01:12:54,073
I think it's--
1383
01:12:54,098 --> 01:12:56,183
I think none of us are special.
1384
01:12:56,208 --> 01:12:57,807
that have this happen to them.
1385
01:12:57,832 --> 01:13:01,632
There's no reason why we should
have this happen to us, so--
1386
01:13:02,477 --> 01:13:04,169
but I’d
1387
01:13:04,194 --> 01:13:05,548
I like to know how
many other people
1388
01:13:05,573 --> 01:13:07,294
out there...
1389
01:13:07,319 --> 01:13:09,720
experience this.
1390
01:13:09,745 --> 01:13:11,111
I know there are quite a few,
1391
01:13:11,136 --> 01:13:14,206
but ...
I think there's a lot more.
1392
01:13:22,892 --> 01:13:25,143
Hey, everybody, it's Connie here,
1393
01:13:25,168 --> 01:13:28,355
a.K.a. Phoenixrising11.
1394
01:13:28,380 --> 01:13:30,770
Thank you for joining me.
1395
01:13:30,795 --> 01:13:33,735
I first wanna start out by saying that,
1396
01:13:33,760 --> 01:13:36,941
I'm about to tell you a very personal story,
1397
01:13:36,966 --> 01:13:40,151
and if you get weirded out easily
1398
01:13:40,176 --> 01:13:42,478
or you're not that open-minded...
1399
01:13:42,503 --> 01:13:44,652
- So you made a pretty powerful YouTube video
1400
01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:46,677
about your experience.
1401
01:13:46,702 --> 01:13:48,423
Do you watch a lot of other people's
1402
01:13:48,425 --> 01:13:50,758
sleep paralysis videos?
1403
01:13:50,916 --> 01:13:52,109
I don't...
1404
01:13:52,134 --> 01:13:54,522
I don't really like to listen--
1405
01:13:55,565 --> 01:13:57,532
I haven't seen a lot
of other people's
1406
01:13:57,534 --> 01:13:59,998
sleep paralysis videos.
1407
01:14:00,023 --> 01:14:02,967
Although people
do send me their stuff,
1408
01:14:02,992 --> 01:14:05,755
I just am not
in a place to...
1409
01:14:05,780 --> 01:14:09,378
want to listen
to that kind of stuff anymore.
1410
01:14:09,403 --> 01:14:10,397
I don't know why.
1411
01:14:10,422 --> 01:14:12,521
I feel like it's just--
1412
01:14:12,546 --> 01:14:15,856
it's kind of like that's
the past,
1413
01:14:17,083 --> 01:14:18,786
and I’m not in that space
anymore.
1414
01:14:18,788 --> 01:14:22,451
That I. You know, I found faith,
and I met my husband,
1415
01:14:22,476 --> 01:14:25,693
and I never thought
I’d get married, and...
1416
01:14:26,502 --> 01:14:28,774
So you're actually trying not to think too much
1417
01:14:28,799 --> 01:14:30,031
about sleep paralysis anymore.
1418
01:14:30,033 --> 01:14:31,156
Yeah,
1419
01:14:31,181 --> 01:14:34,637
yeah, I mean, why?
For what, you know?
1420
01:14:39,190 --> 01:14:42,494
- Final Destinations -
1421
01:14:57,354 --> 01:14:59,794
Um...
1422
01:14:59,796 --> 01:15:02,388
I was, uh...
1423
01:15:02,413 --> 01:15:04,154
Dating a girl
who was pretty crazy.
1424
01:15:04,179 --> 01:15:06,567
She was kind of really into
being very nature-y.
1425
01:15:06,569 --> 01:15:08,178
Not like a hippie,
but kind of like
1426
01:15:08,203 --> 01:15:13,402
a crazy wood spirit nymph
was kind of her vibe. You know.
1427
01:15:13,427 --> 01:15:16,540
A lot of her clothes were,
like, stitched together like...
1428
01:15:17,199 --> 01:15:18,089
She was crazy.
1429
01:15:18,114 --> 01:15:21,406
She would do things like,
say, start walking out
1430
01:15:21,431 --> 01:15:23,329
in the middle of an incredibly busy street,
1431
01:15:23,354 --> 01:15:24,632
and I would try and stop her, and she'd be like,
1432
01:15:24,657 --> 01:15:27,104
"No, no, the spirits are guiding me,"
1433
01:15:27,129 --> 01:15:28,581
with her eyes closed.
1434
01:15:28,606 --> 01:15:32,110
I just.
I can't believe she survived.
1435
01:15:32,135 --> 01:15:35,877
So she was...
definitely on the cusp of something.
1436
01:15:35,902 --> 01:15:36,924
So was I.
1437
01:15:36,926 --> 01:15:38,880
I mean. We were both really living in the fringes
1438
01:15:38,905 --> 01:15:42,493
of sanity at that time.
1439
01:15:42,518 --> 01:15:46,341
And we went up to a cabin
1440
01:15:46,366 --> 01:15:50,438
that my dad has in the Bay of Fundy in Canada.
1441
01:15:51,226 --> 01:15:54,454
And we were walking out in the woods.
1442
01:15:54,479 --> 01:15:56,984
And it was getting dark. It was kind of dusk.
1443
01:15:56,986 --> 01:15:59,987
So she said, "Let's build a stone circle",
1444
01:15:59,989 --> 01:16:01,856
you know, because we'd
just gone to a pebble beach.
1445
01:16:01,858 --> 01:16:04,959
So we took our pebbles and laid them all down.
1446
01:16:05,298 --> 01:16:08,022
And then we decided to be receptive,
1447
01:16:08,047 --> 01:16:10,289
if you know what that means.
1448
01:16:15,422 --> 01:16:17,163
And so she, like, closed her eyes
1449
01:16:17,188 --> 01:16:19,564
and she was, like, standing like this,
1450
01:16:19,589 --> 01:16:22,060
and I was just kind of standing there like this.
1451
01:16:22,085 --> 01:16:24,417
- And...
suddenly she goes,
1452
01:16:24,442 --> 01:16:26,124
"Oh, something's coming."
- She's coming! She's coming!
1453
01:16:26,149 --> 01:16:28,386
And she had her eyes closed,
1454
01:16:28,411 --> 01:16:31,220
and so she was not-- could not see anything,
1455
01:16:31,245 --> 01:16:32,653
and I was looking, and it was like
1456
01:16:32,710 --> 01:16:35,022
she was listening and I was looking.
1457
01:16:35,024 --> 01:16:39,614
And I looked into the forest, and, um...
1458
01:16:41,221 --> 01:16:44,344
Out came this blue form.
1459
01:16:44,369 --> 01:16:47,893
It started approaching, this very, very blue thing.
1460
01:16:47,918 --> 01:16:50,104
Like, it had the same quality as the black things
1461
01:16:50,106 --> 01:16:52,907
that we talked about, but blue, peaceful,
1462
01:16:52,909 --> 01:16:55,239
just really, like, nice.
1463
01:16:55,264 --> 01:16:57,391
And she's like, "Oh, she's blue."
1464
01:16:57,416 --> 01:16:59,213
She said, "She's blue."
1465
01:16:59,238 --> 01:17:01,685
Eyes closed, you know, like this.
1466
01:17:01,710 --> 01:17:02,817
And it came and approached,
1467
01:17:02,819 --> 01:17:04,819
and then it just kind of stood still,
1468
01:17:04,821 --> 01:17:07,358
and it was maybe, like, six feet over there.
1469
01:17:07,383 --> 01:17:09,624
I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about this.
1470
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:12,736
And here's my girlfriend, and she's just laughing a lot,
1471
01:17:12,761 --> 01:17:14,933
like, "Oh, she's saying the funniest things."
1472
01:17:14,958 --> 01:17:17,894
Like, just crazy. It was really crazy and weird.
1473
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:27,642
And she goes, "Oh.
1474
01:17:27,644 --> 01:17:31,405
she says not to be worried
about the demons behind you."
1475
01:17:31,430 --> 01:17:34,158
And I was like, "What?"
1476
01:17:34,183 --> 01:17:36,850
And I turned around.
1477
01:17:39,279 --> 01:17:41,242
And I saw them.
1478
01:17:47,805 --> 01:17:49,589
That same face.
1479
01:17:49,614 --> 01:17:50,658
The face that people see
1480
01:17:50,683 --> 01:17:51,800
when they're abducted by aliens.
1481
01:17:51,825 --> 01:17:55,767
The face that I saw as a small child.
1482
01:17:59,173 --> 01:18:01,549
And then in that moment,
1483
01:18:01,574 --> 01:18:04,610
I suddenly had this,
like uh,
1484
01:18:04,805 --> 01:18:06,755
kind of realization.
1485
01:18:10,345 --> 01:18:11,468
'Cause it wasn't, like, linguistic.
1486
01:18:11,493 --> 01:18:12,862
I didn't hear anybody talking to me,
1487
01:18:12,887 --> 01:18:15,446
but I heard like felt a thought, in my head,
1488
01:18:15,471 --> 01:18:19,797
something external,and it was all about how, um...
1489
01:18:21,384 --> 01:18:24,103
Fear empowers bad things.
1490
01:18:26,161 --> 01:18:28,888
To have fear when you're in a bad environment
1491
01:18:28,913 --> 01:18:31,006
or a bad place or around a bad thing
1492
01:18:31,031 --> 01:18:35,116
only gives that thing more strength.
1493
01:18:39,726 --> 01:18:42,168
What that kind of made me sort of begin to realize
1494
01:18:42,193 --> 01:18:44,472
is that, you know, here I’m hearing these voices,
1495
01:18:44,497 --> 01:18:47,186
and they're disembodied, confused,
1496
01:18:47,211 --> 01:18:50,416
schizophrenic ghosts, you know,
1497
01:18:50,441 --> 01:18:51,714
yeah, those are people.
1498
01:18:51,739 --> 01:18:53,302
Maybe they're dead. Maybe they're alive.
1499
01:18:53,327 --> 01:18:55,370
I really don't know.
I don't know.
1500
01:18:55,395 --> 01:18:57,130
But then the other things,
1501
01:18:57,155 --> 01:19:01,782
the black, cloudy thing, you know these gray things,
1502
01:19:01,807 --> 01:19:04,786
um,
those are...
1503
01:19:04,788 --> 01:19:09,662
something more primal, something more
just environmental.
1504
01:19:10,133 --> 01:19:12,236
And when I kind of came to that realization, I’m like,
1505
01:19:12,261 --> 01:19:14,256
Oh. Why does it have to be any one thing?
1506
01:19:14,281 --> 01:19:16,480
And shortly thereafter,
the...
1507
01:19:16,505 --> 01:19:19,689
the blue... spirit,
1508
01:19:19,714 --> 01:19:22,716
uh...,
dissipated into the woods.
1509
01:19:22,741 --> 01:19:25,570
And then we went back to,
1510
01:19:25,595 --> 01:19:27,651
you know,
the cabin,
1511
01:19:27,676 --> 01:19:29,566
and that was that.
1512
01:19:29,591 --> 01:19:30,865
You're talking about something that happens
1513
01:19:30,867 --> 01:19:33,272
at the absolute edges of like dreaming.
1514
01:19:33,297 --> 01:19:34,760
Like,
you can't explain dreams.
1515
01:19:34,785 --> 01:19:36,732
You can't explain them
logically.
1516
01:19:36,757 --> 01:19:38,461
They're all little bits
and pieces
1517
01:19:38,486 --> 01:19:39,615
that come up from
your unconsciousness,
1518
01:19:39,617 --> 01:19:41,755
and from things
you've experienced, and...
1519
01:19:41,780 --> 01:19:44,357
who knows how like the sleeping
mind puts things together?
1520
01:19:44,382 --> 01:19:45,618
And now you're talking
about an experience
1521
01:19:45,643 --> 01:19:47,378
that happens like
in that in-between stage.
1522
01:19:47,403 --> 01:19:48,426
It's so liminal.
1523
01:19:48,451 --> 01:19:52,012
You can't put logic
onto liminal situations.
1524
01:19:53,498 --> 01:19:55,674
I need you
to also understand
1525
01:19:55,699 --> 01:19:58,261
that I was in
an abusive household.
1526
01:19:58,286 --> 01:20:02,079
I believe because I was beaten so much during the day,
1527
01:20:02,104 --> 01:20:05,372
that at night, my soul had to heal
1528
01:20:05,397 --> 01:20:06,950
to keep me here.
1529
01:20:06,975 --> 01:20:09,641
That's why I had to get through the fourth dimension,
1530
01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:13,137
and that's why I had to go somewhere else to be healed,
1531
01:20:13,162 --> 01:20:16,504
so that I could come back and deal with my life.
1532
01:20:16,529 --> 01:20:18,946
I knew absolutely nothing
about sleep paralysis
1533
01:20:18,971 --> 01:20:21,805
until...
I was told about it.
1534
01:20:21,807 --> 01:20:23,115
And...
1535
01:20:23,140 --> 01:20:27,132
then I, almost instantly,
began experiencing it.
1536
01:20:27,157 --> 01:20:30,979
I don't believe, like,
the medical explanation to it,
1537
01:20:31,004 --> 01:20:34,287
the physiological stuff,
just a sleep disorder.
1538
01:20:34,312 --> 01:20:36,151
There's got to be
way more to it.
1539
01:20:36,176 --> 01:20:38,377
Like I told my one
friend about it
1540
01:20:38,402 --> 01:20:40,080
when I was just talking and,
1541
01:20:40,105 --> 01:20:42,396
I was like, "Have you ever heard
of sleep paralysis?"
1542
01:20:42,421 --> 01:20:44,062
She's like, "No,"
and so I,
1543
01:20:44,087 --> 01:20:45,544
kind of shared my experience.
1544
01:20:45,569 --> 01:20:48,142
And then the next day, she's texting me.
1545
01:20:48,144 --> 01:20:49,745
She's like,
1546
01:20:49,770 --> 01:20:51,350
"I hate you.
I HATE YOU!!
1547
01:20:51,375 --> 01:20:54,374
Whatever you were
telling me about
1548
01:20:54,399 --> 01:20:57,553
happening to you.
Now it's starting to happen 2 ME."
1549
01:21:05,537 --> 01:21:08,304
Kind of like an STD,
1550
01:21:08,329 --> 01:21:10,949
"Sleep-Transmitted Disease."
1551
01:21:14,365 --> 01:21:16,636
There was an experience
during this time
1552
01:21:16,661 --> 01:21:18,409
that I actually
did think I died.
1553
01:21:18,434 --> 01:21:19,506
Whole dream's going fine.
1554
01:21:19,508 --> 01:21:21,284
I don't really know what we're doing.
Last a long time.
1555
01:21:21,286 --> 01:21:24,957
It's like one of those you know,
3-, 4-day-feeling type dreams.
1556
01:21:24,982 --> 01:21:28,607
So, I'm just kind of existing in it,
sort of enjoying it.
1557
01:21:28,632 --> 01:21:31,877
And all of a sudden, like,
somebody knocks at the door.
1558
01:21:33,347 --> 01:21:35,902
It's, like,
two homeless dudes.
1559
01:21:35,927 --> 01:21:37,148
And they're trying to get in,
1560
01:21:37,150 --> 01:21:39,452
and I’m trying to tell them, like. "Listen, we're at capacity.
1561
01:21:39,477 --> 01:21:42,752
We're at capacity for homelesspeople in my weird dream town."
1562
01:21:43,937 --> 01:21:48,409
There's a guy on roller blades in the background, very '90s.
1563
01:21:52,936 --> 01:21:54,646
And I wasn't thinking, but he, like, turns,
1564
01:21:54,671 --> 01:21:56,283
and he starts roller-blading towards me.
1565
01:21:56,308 --> 01:21:59,818
And I’m like, "That's awesome.He's gonna come into play here.
1566
01:22:00,478 --> 01:22:01,619
This is cool.
I can...
1567
01:22:01,644 --> 01:22:04,781
I'm probably gonna wake up soon 'cause it's all evaporating."
1568
01:22:08,478 --> 01:22:12,271
And as he gets really close, he just pulls out a gun.
1569
01:22:12,296 --> 01:22:14,328
And then I'm in the paralysis.
1570
01:22:14,353 --> 01:22:16,237
But it's not a paralysis I've ever felt before.
1571
01:22:16,262 --> 01:22:19,854
It's just nothing. I don't see anything.
1572
01:22:19,879 --> 01:22:23,427
I don't feel anything. I'm just nothing.
1573
01:22:23,452 --> 01:22:25,511
So I guess maybe this is an afterlife.
1574
01:22:25,536 --> 01:22:26,714
And I was like, "Nah, probably not.
1575
01:22:26,739 --> 01:22:28,226
Maybe I’m in a coma."
1576
01:22:28,251 --> 01:22:29,926
And I'm starting to think like,
1577
01:22:29,951 --> 01:22:32,069
Sleep paralysis probably finally fucked me.
1578
01:22:32,094 --> 01:22:33,926
Like, I’m probably done.
1579
01:22:33,951 --> 01:22:35,698
And I’ve probably stopped breathing,
1580
01:22:35,723 --> 01:22:37,247
and this is what happens when it happens,
1581
01:22:37,272 --> 01:22:40,104
It's like, I'm just nothingness.
1582
01:22:40,129 --> 01:22:42,125
And, like, 5, 10 minutes go by,
1583
01:22:42,150 --> 01:22:44,400
and I'm just like--
1584
01:22:44,425 --> 01:22:46,579
getting a little nervous, but, like, at the same time,
1585
01:22:46,604 --> 01:22:49,079
I'm just kind
of weirdly serene.
1586
01:22:49,104 --> 01:22:51,117
Like,
"This sucks."
1587
01:22:51,142 --> 01:22:53,684
And...
1588
01:22:53,709 --> 01:22:56,293
I remember thinking, like,
I'm gonna try to pull out of it.
1589
01:22:56,318 --> 01:22:57,808
Like, the same motion I would do
1590
01:22:57,833 --> 01:22:59,740
to pull out of sleep paralysis,
1591
01:22:59,765 --> 01:23:01,812
I'm gonna just try to emulate that.
1592
01:23:01,837 --> 01:23:04,339
And I try over and over and over again,
1593
01:23:04,364 --> 01:23:07,342
I mean,
hundreds of times.
1594
01:23:07,367 --> 01:23:09,350
You know, just-- but I'm getting somewhere,
1595
01:23:09,352 --> 01:23:11,021
and I remember
1596
01:23:11,046 --> 01:23:14,454
I come up for, like,
half a second.
1597
01:23:14,479 --> 01:23:16,122
And I can see my room.
1598
01:23:16,125 --> 01:23:17,992
It's like I can open my eyes a little bit,
1599
01:23:17,994 --> 01:23:20,160
but nothing's-- there's nothing there anymore.
1600
01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:22,406
And it's almost like I'm just in bed
1601
01:23:22,431 --> 01:23:24,112
and the room is like--
1602
01:23:24,137 --> 01:23:25,845
all the details of the room are gone.
1603
01:23:25,870 --> 01:23:29,301
There's-- you know, I can see my now ex-girlfriend's dresser,
1604
01:23:29,326 --> 01:23:31,434
her little vanity,
1605
01:23:31,459 --> 01:23:33,043
and there's nothing on it.
1606
01:23:33,068 --> 01:23:35,819
And I remember I called out her name,
1607
01:23:35,844 --> 01:23:36,794
and nobody came,
1608
01:23:36,819 --> 01:23:39,029
and then I was back in the paralysis.
1609
01:23:39,054 --> 01:23:40,322
And then it was another
you know, 5...
1610
01:23:40,347 --> 01:23:45,203
5, 10 minutes of pulling out, and then eventually I woke up.
1611
01:23:45,515 --> 01:23:47,413
And...
1612
01:23:47,632 --> 01:23:49,759
She wasn't there.
Nobody was around,
1613
01:23:49,784 --> 01:23:51,615
but...
1614
01:23:52,050 --> 01:23:54,643
it's just, it was-- it was the worst.
1615
01:23:54,668 --> 01:23:57,626
I just felt
like I died.
1616
01:23:57,651 --> 01:24:00,082
You know, it became this kind of turning point for me and...
1617
01:24:00,107 --> 01:24:02,746
and...
you know.
1618
01:24:03,867 --> 01:24:06,419
Just. I just...
how I
1619
01:24:06,444 --> 01:24:08,562
saw all this.
1620
01:24:08,587 --> 01:24:10,801
And I definitely didn't
want that to happen ever again.
1621
01:24:10,826 --> 01:24:13,157
Well.
So how did that change...
1622
01:24:13,182 --> 01:24:15,852
your-- the way you saw all this?
1623
01:24:15,877 --> 01:24:17,998
It just--
it--
1624
01:24:18,273 --> 01:24:21,422
whereas before,
I felt like I was maybe,
1625
01:24:21,424 --> 01:24:25,122
you know, learning and exploring
and it was, like, kind of fun,
1626
01:24:25,218 --> 01:24:26,754
it stopped being fun.
1627
01:24:26,779 --> 01:24:29,321
Like,
it's not like I get to--
1628
01:24:29,346 --> 01:24:31,446
you know, people talk
about astral projection
1629
01:24:31,471 --> 01:24:34,479
and all these, like, fucking
awesome-sounding things,
1630
01:24:34,504 --> 01:24:36,435
like how they
get to fly around,
1631
01:24:36,460 --> 01:24:40,362
and, and, you know,
I don't know,
1632
01:24:40,387 --> 01:24:42,125
do cool things.
1633
01:24:42,150 --> 01:24:44,924
And I don't get that.
I don't get, you know, those.
1634
01:24:44,949 --> 01:24:46,684
I just get
these weird experiences
1635
01:24:46,709 --> 01:24:47,986
where...
1636
01:24:48,011 --> 01:24:49,857
I feel like,
for a second,
1637
01:24:49,889 --> 01:24:53,095
I can see something that most people can't.
1638
01:24:53,132 --> 01:24:54,688
Like, there's...
1639
01:24:54,690 --> 01:24:57,308
what we see in the world...
1640
01:24:57,720 --> 01:25:01,269
And right behind it,
you know, almost like--
1641
01:25:01,294 --> 01:25:03,725
it's like everything's
cellophane-wrapped or something.
1642
01:25:03,750 --> 01:25:06,964
And for half a second, that--
that wrapper's gone,
1643
01:25:06,989 --> 01:25:10,404
and I can see
or perceive...
1644
01:25:10,429 --> 01:25:12,776
something a little
bit more real--
1645
01:25:12,801 --> 01:25:15,223
or whatever real is--
1646
01:25:15,426 --> 01:25:16,519
and then it's gone.
1647
01:25:16,544 --> 01:25:18,852
But I can see it
for that half a second.
1648
01:25:18,877 --> 01:25:21,503
And so no matter what fear
or pain comes along with it,
1649
01:25:21,528 --> 01:25:23,393
I always get this experience,
where,
1650
01:25:23,418 --> 01:25:25,519
even if it's in my head,
it's made something interesting.
1651
01:25:25,521 --> 01:25:27,820
And it's something
that I can pull from that
1652
01:25:27,845 --> 01:25:31,760
makes my life
almost kind of... worth it,
1653
01:25:31,785 --> 01:25:33,463
you know, which is--
you know, for a long time,
1654
01:25:33,488 --> 01:25:37,228
is something
I don't feel like I've ever had.
1655
01:25:37,253 --> 01:25:41,357
And it's gonna probably
just keep getting worse,
1656
01:25:41,382 --> 01:25:43,403
and I truly believe
that one day--
1657
01:25:43,405 --> 01:25:46,718
it will be the reason why,
like, one day I don't wake up.
1658
01:25:46,743 --> 01:25:48,483
And one day I'm just--
1659
01:25:48,508 --> 01:25:50,748
you know,
I don't breathe,
1660
01:25:50,773 --> 01:25:53,585
I can't control the breathing,
and it's done.
1661
01:25:56,741 --> 01:25:59,420
And I feel terrible for whoever I'm dating
1662
01:25:59,445 --> 01:26:01,857
or married to... when that happens,
1663
01:26:01,882 --> 01:26:04,424
um, but I’m kind of ready for that now.
1664
01:26:04,426 --> 01:26:07,094
Chris.
Hey, Chris.
1665
01:26:07,119 --> 01:26:09,647
You know, I'm ready
for that to be, you know,
1666
01:26:09,679 --> 01:26:12,225
just kind of
what happens to me.
1667
01:26:12,729 --> 01:26:16,862
But I would like to figure out a lot more about this
1668
01:26:16,887 --> 01:26:19,180
before that happens,
and it's also made me feel
1669
01:26:19,205 --> 01:26:21,208
very comfortable
with the idea.
1670
01:26:21,233 --> 01:26:22,334
Like...
1671
01:26:22,359 --> 01:26:23,832
if something's happening,
1672
01:26:23,857 --> 01:26:26,548
that's more than...
1673
01:26:26,928 --> 01:26:28,429
I'm just crazy.
1674
01:26:28,454 --> 01:26:30,938
Then something's happening.
1675
01:26:35,318 --> 01:26:40,357
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