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1
00:02:54,381 --> 00:02:55,007
- Harry?
2
00:02:57,509 --> 00:02:58,260
Harry!
3
00:03:11,815 --> 00:03:14,735
Harry, are you in there?
4
00:03:15,903 --> 00:03:17,654
Harry, I'm coming in.
5
00:03:30,918 --> 00:03:32,294
Coffee in the office.
6
00:03:34,254 --> 00:03:37,382
If we don't pull our fingers
out, we'll miss the deadline.
7
00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:39,176
See you there.
8
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:12,960
- Sorry.
9
00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:15,837
It's a habit I picked up when I was a cub.
10
00:04:16,171 --> 00:04:16,672
In those days, it was the only way
11
00:04:17,005 --> 00:04:18,465
to get through a night shift.
12
00:04:27,891 --> 00:04:29,518
I'll tell you, look at all this crap.
13
00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:33,647
Fifteen years on the job and
it still comes in every week;
14
00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:36,316
the same tales of woe, hardship,
15
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:39,528
heartbreak and confusion.
16
00:04:39,861 --> 00:04:42,781
And each week we print the same snappy,
17
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:44,741
sharp, cynical advice.
18
00:04:45,075 --> 00:04:46,493
- Some of it must be fun, Harry.
19
00:04:47,577 --> 00:04:48,870
- It's all so our lecherous little readers
20
00:04:49,204 --> 00:04:50,372
can click their tongues in comfort
21
00:04:50,706 --> 00:04:53,417
over their Sunday morning coffee.
22
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:54,918
Half of it's bullshit.
23
00:04:56,336 --> 00:04:57,129
And the rest...
24
00:04:58,547 --> 00:05:01,633
well, half of that's made up as well.
25
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:03,427
- You're just an old cynic.
26
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:05,220
Anyway, I'm here to take the load now.
27
00:05:05,554 --> 00:05:07,806
Come tomorrow, you'll be
out in the bay fishing.
28
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,142
You need never have to
worry about it again.
29
00:05:11,184 --> 00:05:13,270
- Oh, you're right,
you know. I'll miss it.
30
00:05:14,187 --> 00:05:16,648
Fifteen years as "Dear Colette."
31
00:05:18,817 --> 00:05:20,902
It's gotta rub off on you, somehow.
32
00:05:21,236 --> 00:05:23,447
- I suppose they'll keep
me as "Dear Colette," too.
33
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:28,410
-Ah, yes, in the troubled
eyes of our loyal readership,
34
00:05:28,744 --> 00:05:31,079
Colette is immortal.
35
00:05:31,413 --> 00:05:32,831
Change the name and the myth would vanish.
36
00:05:33,165 --> 00:05:34,750
- Be nice to get your own byline.
37
00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:37,419
- Well, you'd have half the
creeps in town ringing up
38
00:05:37,753 --> 00:05:40,505
making personal calls to the office.
39
00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:42,507
Ah, Colette's better.
40
00:05:42,841 --> 00:05:44,217
The switch knows how to deal with them.
41
00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:45,177
' How?
42
00:05:46,219 --> 00:05:47,220
- Putting them straight
through to Mildred.
43
00:05:47,554 --> 00:05:49,222
- The tea lady?
44
00:05:49,556 --> 00:05:51,933
- Yeah, what else do you think
she does between tea breaks?
45
00:05:52,267 --> 00:05:54,311
(laughs) They'd the
sorry ones, believe me.
46
00:05:54,644 --> 00:05:57,230
No one -- but no one -- out-talks Mildred.
47
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,693
Now you stick to Colette,
she served me well.
48
00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:06,990
Red ink.
- Red ink?
49
00:06:07,324 --> 00:06:09,326
- Yeah, dead giveaway.
50
00:06:09,659 --> 00:06:11,036
Who writes with red ink anymore?
51
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:12,579
- Well.
52
00:06:12,913 --> 00:06:14,706
- Well, no one, that's who.
53
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,666
Except my old red-handed mate.
54
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,919
Never misses a week. Same old words,
55
00:06:19,252 --> 00:06:22,214
same old four-letter abuse.
56
00:06:24,424 --> 00:06:28,053
I never, ever open
official looking letters.
57
00:06:28,387 --> 00:06:28,970
- Why not?
58
00:06:30,847 --> 00:06:33,058
- Public service is full of them.
59
00:06:34,476 --> 00:06:35,519
Well, here we go, then.
60
00:06:35,852 --> 00:06:37,771
I'll have the first lucky clip.
61
00:06:44,277 --> 00:06:46,988
Here's cheers.
62
00:06:57,457 --> 00:07:00,919
"Dear Colette, perhaps you
could help me with a problem.
63
00:07:01,253 --> 00:07:04,381
I guess you could say I've
led a fairly sheltered life.
64
00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:06,591
One of my few pleasures is reading,
65
00:07:06,925 --> 00:07:09,553
and so I often visit the
local library with a friend.
66
00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:12,764
The librarian is very strict,
one of the old school,
67
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:15,392
and will not tolerate
any breach of the rules."
68
00:07:47,549 --> 00:07:48,300
- (whispers) Cindy.
69
00:08:37,140 --> 00:08:40,519
Oh! (laughs)
70
00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:51,404
Oh! (laughs)
71
00:10:32,797 --> 00:10:33,590
- "Since the incident,
72
00:10:33,923 --> 00:10:35,842
I haven't dared go back
to the library again,
73
00:10:36,176 --> 00:10:40,430
and I already owe $37.50
in fines for being overdue.
74
00:10:40,764 --> 00:10:42,766
My life's a mess, my
friend won't talk to me,
75
00:10:43,099 --> 00:10:44,726
and I'm reduced to buying paperbacks.
76
00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:45,810
What can I do?
77
00:10:46,144 --> 00:10:46,936
Signed, Bookworm."
78
00:10:47,979 --> 00:10:49,105
- That's a good one.
79
00:10:49,439 --> 00:10:52,108
Don't believe a word of it.
Still, it'll make good reading.
80
00:10:53,276 --> 00:10:56,154
Now, let's see. Uh...
81
00:10:56,488 --> 00:10:57,781
"Dear Bookworm,
82
00:10:58,114 --> 00:11:01,576
I must say, your librarian
friend has a novel approach..."
83
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:07,874
"...to come upon you like
that in the Greek section.
84
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:11,002
My advice is that you
get yourself a new friend
85
00:11:11,336 --> 00:11:14,381
and slip it in later. The book, that is.
86
00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:17,050
And that way, you'll be
able to dodge the fine
87
00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:21,638
and..." uh..."get back to hardcovers."
88
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:23,556
Yeah, that'll do.
89
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:27,060
Now, one down, nine to go. Next.
90
00:11:30,522 --> 00:11:32,857
"Dear Colette, I'm a college student
91
00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:34,734
and a very keen gymnast.
92
00:11:35,068 --> 00:11:36,277
Mr. Bates, our gym master,
93
00:11:36,611 --> 00:11:38,363
has always taken a special interest in me.
94
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:40,865
He says I have a special aptitude.
95
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:41,700
Mew months ago,
96
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,910
I was in the gym loosening
up on the trampoline
97
00:11:44,244 --> 00:11:46,287
after classes when Mr. Bates came in
98
00:11:46,621 --> 00:11:48,623
and gave me some coaching."
99
00:12:26,578 --> 00:12:28,246
- (Mr. Bates) There, now
we won't be disturbed.
100
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:29,622
- Yes, Mr. Bates.
101
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:32,417
- I've asked you to stay because, well...
102
00:12:32,709 --> 00:12:33,752
I have hopes for you.
103
00:12:34,085 --> 00:12:36,838
Yes, out of all my senior year students,
104
00:12:37,172 --> 00:12:38,381
you're the only one that has any
105
00:12:38,715 --> 00:12:40,091
aptitude to become a champion.
106
00:12:41,593 --> 00:12:43,219
What I thought we'd do would be to
107
00:12:43,553 --> 00:12:45,305
run through some of the basics, limber up,
108
00:12:45,638 --> 00:12:48,850
and generally get to know each other,
109
00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:52,020
so that as coach and pupil
110
00:12:52,353 --> 00:12:54,522
we can reach a full understanding.
111
00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:56,357
- That's very kind of you, Mr. Bates.
112
00:12:56,691 --> 00:12:57,567
- Not at all.
113
00:12:58,610 --> 00:12:59,903
Well, let's see.
114
00:13:00,945 --> 00:13:02,614
What I thought we'd do
would be to start off
115
00:13:02,947 --> 00:13:06,326
with something you're good
at. Say, the trampoline.
116
00:13:06,659 --> 00:13:07,285
- Okay.
117
00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:27,388
- No, no, Ms. Peabody.
118
00:13:27,722 --> 00:13:30,725
We can do better than that, can't we?
119
00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:32,268
- I guess so.
120
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:35,438
- Perhaps if you remove
that archaic costume,
121
00:13:35,772 --> 00:13:36,731
you'll feel freer.
122
00:13:37,065 --> 00:13:41,736
- But Mr. Bates, I'm
stark naked underneath.
123
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:43,571
It just wouldn't be proper.
124
00:13:43,905 --> 00:13:45,573
- Am I your coach or not?
125
00:13:45,907 --> 00:13:46,407
- Yes, you are.
126
00:13:46,741 --> 00:13:48,243
- And are we going to work together
127
00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:50,703
to get you onto that collegiate team?
128
00:13:51,037 --> 00:13:52,288
- Yes, Mr. Bates.
129
00:13:52,622 --> 00:13:55,041
- Then I suggest you do as I say.
130
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,043
- Of course, Mr. Bates.
131
00:13:57,377 --> 00:13:58,545
- All the world's best gymnasts
132
00:13:58,878 --> 00:14:00,296
train in the nude, Ms. Peabody.
133
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:01,965
One must be able to completely free
134
00:14:02,298 --> 00:14:04,175
one's body for the task.
135
00:14:06,010 --> 00:14:08,096
- What if somebody comes in?
136
00:14:08,429 --> 00:14:09,681
- You saw me lock the doors.
137
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,726
Don't worry, we won't be disturbed.
138
00:14:14,769 --> 00:14:16,688
- Well, if you say so.
139
00:14:49,762 --> 00:14:51,347
- Now, let's see what you can do.
140
00:16:13,096 --> 00:16:15,139
Well done, well done.
141
00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:17,767
I think we've had enough of this now.
142
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:20,269
Let's try the parallel bars.
143
00:16:20,603 --> 00:16:21,229
- Okay.
144
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:38,997
Here now, this is position
number one.
145
00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:43,584
Number two.
146
00:16:43,918 --> 00:16:44,752
Number three.
147
00:16:46,337 --> 00:16:47,088
And four.
148
00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:53,136
(thud) (bars rattling)
149
00:16:53,469 --> 00:16:54,095
Your turn.
150
00:16:58,433 --> 00:17:00,935
Now, get up into this position.
151
00:17:05,356 --> 00:17:07,275
Now, swing your legs up.
152
00:17:08,735 --> 00:17:10,153
Let's see.
153
00:17:10,486 --> 00:17:12,113
Start leaning forward.
154
00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:18,244
(laughs) Come on, I'll hold you.
155
00:17:18,578 --> 00:17:19,287
That's it.
156
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:20,663
Let's see.
157
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:21,622
Okay-
158
00:17:22,915 --> 00:17:23,624
Swing up.
159
00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:26,085
(laughs) Okay, come here.
160
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:28,004
Let me show you one more time, okay?
161
00:17:31,424 --> 00:17:34,093
Now, when you get into
the first position--
162
00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:36,220
- There's just one thing, Mr. Bates.
163
00:17:36,554 --> 00:17:37,180
- What's that?
164
00:17:39,015 --> 00:17:39,891
- Well...
165
00:17:40,224 --> 00:17:41,726
- Well, speak up, girl.
166
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:42,685
We've got to communicate freely
167
00:17:43,019 --> 00:17:44,520
if we're going to work together.
168
00:17:44,854 --> 00:17:47,648
- Well, how come I got to
work out naked and you don't?
169
00:17:47,982 --> 00:17:51,152
- Well, because a man
is built differently.
170
00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:52,445
He needs support.
171
00:17:52,779 --> 00:17:56,324
- That sounds like a
chauvinistic remark to me.
172
00:17:58,993 --> 00:18:00,787
(gasps) Mr. Bates!
173
00:18:02,914 --> 00:18:04,999
- Oh, no, Ms. Peabody.
174
00:18:06,167 --> 00:18:09,587
- I didn't realize that they were so big.
175
00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:12,590
- You mean you've never
seen a man naked before?
176
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:15,093
- Only my brother when I was younger.
177
00:18:15,426 --> 00:18:17,970
My, they do grow when you
get older, don't they?
178
00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:20,014
- Yeah, I guess they do.
179
00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:26,938
- Well, now I'm all warmed
up. What else can we do?
180
00:18:27,271 --> 00:18:30,233
- Well, I think we've done
enough for one evening.
181
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,820
- Oh, what a pity.
182
00:18:34,153 --> 00:18:36,489
Just as I was starting to feel good.
183
00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:41,786
- Say, we should finish up
with a darn good massage.
184
00:27:00,034 --> 00:27:03,412
- "After the workout, I felt
so relaxed I fell asleep.
185
00:27:03,746 --> 00:27:05,914
When I awoke, Mr. Bates was gone.
186
00:27:06,248 --> 00:27:08,417
Next day, I mentioned Mr. Bates'
marvelous training methods
187
00:27:08,751 --> 00:27:11,754
to our gym mistress, Ms.
Stern, who was very impressed.
188
00:27:12,921 --> 00:27:14,965
Since then, Mr. Bates seemed
to have lost interest in me
189
00:27:15,299 --> 00:27:17,259
and spends most of his time
working up new routines
190
00:27:17,593 --> 00:27:18,636
with Ms. Stern.
191
00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:22,181
My problem is, how can I
make the collegiate team
192
00:27:22,514 --> 00:27:23,766
without a coach?
193
00:27:24,099 --> 00:27:27,478
Signed, Aspiring Gymnast."
194
00:27:27,811 --> 00:27:29,104
I think she means perspiring.
195
00:27:29,438 --> 00:27:30,648
(laughs) If that's a fantasy,
196
00:27:30,981 --> 00:27:34,443
she sure put some
thought into it.
197
00:27:34,777 --> 00:27:36,278
Off you go, bright eyes.
198
00:27:36,612 --> 00:27:38,155
- I'm not sure where to start.
199
00:27:38,489 --> 00:27:40,741
- [Harry] See, it's not
as easy as you think.
200
00:27:41,075 --> 00:27:41,659
- Well.
201
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:44,495
She's obviously without a coach now
202
00:27:44,828 --> 00:27:46,830
that this Ms. Stern's moved in.
203
00:27:48,457 --> 00:27:50,584
Maybe she should work out by herself.
204
00:27:50,918 --> 00:27:52,503
- Careful, what would our
dirty-minded little readers
205
00:27:52,836 --> 00:27:54,296
read into that?
206
00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:56,173
- I suppose Colette's classic advice
207
00:27:56,507 --> 00:27:59,009
would run to pushups
in the asparagus patch.
208
00:27:59,343 --> 00:28:00,511
- Right on!
209
00:28:00,844 --> 00:28:01,762
See, that's it.
210
00:28:02,096 --> 00:28:04,098
Throw in a mention of the
horizontal bars and you've got it.
211
00:28:04,431 --> 00:28:05,557
- Oh, charming.
212
00:28:05,891 --> 00:28:08,268
I'm not sure I'm out out for this job.
213
00:28:08,602 --> 00:28:09,728
Where's that bottle?
214
00:28:17,528 --> 00:28:18,153
I'll come back to that one.
215
00:28:18,487 --> 00:28:20,030
I'll try another one.
216
00:28:21,615 --> 00:28:23,117
"Dear Colette, I have a boyfriend
217
00:28:23,450 --> 00:28:25,577
who is just mad about the drive-in.
218
00:28:25,911 --> 00:28:26,912
Maybe I'm not normal,
219
00:28:27,246 --> 00:28:30,499
but all that cuddly kid stuff
has just never turned me on.
220
00:28:30,833 --> 00:28:32,626
On this particular night, I'd asked
221
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,336
two friends to join us."
222
00:28:40,342 --> 00:28:42,594
"Safety in numbers, Mother used to say."
223
00:28:56,066 --> 00:28:56,900
' No!
224
00:28:57,234 --> 00:28:58,444
- Come on, Carol.
225
00:28:59,778 --> 00:29:00,946
- I said no.
226
00:29:20,257 --> 00:29:22,426
Bob, I came to watch the movie.
227
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,303
- We can do that too.
228
00:29:24,636 --> 00:29:25,554
- No.
229
00:29:25,888 --> 00:29:29,183
Ted and Alice, what will they think?
230
00:29:29,516 --> 00:29:33,604
- Oh, they won't even notice.
231
00:29:33,937 --> 00:29:35,105
- Don't look.
232
00:29:46,158 --> 00:29:47,701
- Why is it that every time
we come to the drive-in
233
00:29:48,035 --> 00:29:51,747
all you want to do is watch the movie?
234
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,500
I mean, you've seen this
thing before. Twice!
235
00:29:55,459 --> 00:29:56,502
- I like this movie.
236
00:29:56,835 --> 00:29:57,336
- You like every movie.
237
00:29:57,669 --> 00:29:59,671
- [Carol] There's a time
and a place for everything.
238
00:30:00,005 --> 00:30:01,089
- And this isn't the time?
239
00:30:02,007 --> 00:30:03,091
- Or the place.
240
00:30:03,425 --> 00:30:06,887
With all these people
around, it just isn't right.
241
00:30:07,221 --> 00:30:09,765
- Obviously they're doing the same thing.
242
00:30:10,098 --> 00:30:11,016
- Well, then I really don't see
243
00:30:11,350 --> 00:30:14,478
why they bother to come to the drive-in.
244
00:31:11,326 --> 00:31:13,036
- Hey, what's that for?
245
00:31:14,329 --> 00:31:15,664
- I want some popcorn.
246
00:32:09,426 --> 00:32:12,179
Get in there.
247
00:32:16,725 --> 00:32:17,517
- Look, if you're real nice
248
00:32:17,851 --> 00:32:19,102
I'll give you a Coca-Cola afterwards.
249
00:32:19,436 --> 00:32:20,687
- Wait a minute.
250
00:32:22,314 --> 00:32:22,814
Help!
251
00:32:25,817 --> 00:32:26,443
- I'll be gentle.
252
00:32:26,777 --> 00:32:28,278
There's a tube of
Vaseline around some place.
253
00:32:29,446 --> 00:32:31,615
[Woman] Help!
254
00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:33,033
- My, what have we here?
255
00:32:33,367 --> 00:32:35,869
- You've got a Iotta nerve!
256
00:33:45,564 --> 00:33:46,189
- "(V.O.) When it was all over,
257
00:33:46,523 --> 00:33:48,108
I tried to find my boyfriend's car,
258
00:33:48,442 --> 00:33:50,318
but he'd gone, and I had to walk home.
259
00:33:50,652 --> 00:33:51,820
I haven't heard from him since,
260
00:33:52,154 --> 00:33:54,281
and I wonder if I owe him an explanation.
261
00:33:54,614 --> 00:33:56,658
I haven't heard from the
guy in the camper, either.
262
00:33:56,992 --> 00:33:59,369
Please help. Signed, Waylaid."
263
00:33:59,703 --> 00:34:01,538
Poor girl, to be set upon like that!
264
00:34:01,872 --> 00:34:02,956
I do hope she wasn't injured.
265
00:34:03,290 --> 00:34:04,041
- Injured?
266
00:34:04,374 --> 00:34:06,084
The reason she hasn't
seen him since is probably
267
00:34:06,418 --> 00:34:08,045
because he hasn't recovered.
268
00:34:08,378 --> 00:34:09,713
There ought to be a law against it.
269
00:34:10,047 --> 00:34:11,590
- There is, in case you'd forgotten.
270
00:34:11,923 --> 00:34:13,800
You really are an old cynic.
271
00:34:14,134 --> 00:34:16,219
I hope this job doesn't make me like that.
272
00:34:17,220 --> 00:34:18,180
- Maybe you're right.
273
00:34:20,599 --> 00:34:22,768
- Well, what do we tell her?
274
00:34:23,101 --> 00:34:24,061
- Okay, uh...
275
00:34:25,020 --> 00:34:29,900
"Dear Waylaid, it depends on
which types of show you prefer.
276
00:34:30,609 --> 00:34:32,527
Now, your experience could have easily
277
00:34:32,861 --> 00:34:35,530
turned into a late night horror movie.
278
00:34:35,864 --> 00:34:39,159
Don't accept lifts from
strangers, even in a drive-in.
279
00:34:40,410 --> 00:34:43,622
However, if your luck changes,
280
00:34:43,955 --> 00:34:47,250
you might crack it for a
double feature." (laughs)
281
00:34:47,584 --> 00:34:49,544
- You really can't be serious, can you?
282
00:34:49,878 --> 00:34:51,088
- Oh, come on.
283
00:34:51,421 --> 00:34:53,757
She enjoyed every minute of it.
284
00:34:54,091 --> 00:34:56,718
You can tell by the way
she writes it.
285
00:34:57,052 --> 00:34:59,513
- It's because of that sort of attitude.
286
00:34:59,846 --> 00:35:01,056
- Look, I didn't ask her to write.
287
00:35:01,389 --> 00:35:02,057
If she's really worried, she could have
288
00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:03,892
called the police or something.
289
00:35:04,226 --> 00:35:05,143
- Men.
290
00:35:05,477 --> 00:35:06,978
- Look, love, if you
let this job get to you,
291
00:35:07,312 --> 00:35:09,523
you'll go around a twist in no time.
292
00:35:09,856 --> 00:35:11,024
Let's get on with it.
293
00:35:15,904 --> 00:35:17,405
- "Dear Colette,
294
00:35:17,739 --> 00:35:21,034
I work with a large
finance company downtown.
295
00:35:21,368 --> 00:35:23,328
They call me a junior executive,
296
00:35:23,662 --> 00:35:26,581
but really my duties are
more that of a filing clerk.
297
00:35:26,915 --> 00:35:28,875
All day I'm surrounded by lovely girls,
298
00:35:29,209 --> 00:35:30,836
typists and receptionists,
299
00:35:31,169 --> 00:35:32,963
but none of them have ever
taken the slightest bit
300
00:35:33,296 --> 00:35:34,631
of notice of me.
301
00:35:34,965 --> 00:35:37,259
Afew weeks back, it was a Friday.
302
00:35:37,592 --> 00:35:39,386
I was riding the elevator
up with my last load
303
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,346
of files for the day."
304
00:36:15,255 --> 00:36:17,132
- Four, please.
305
00:36:57,464 --> 00:36:58,673
- Looks like we're stuck.
306
00:37:00,383 --> 00:37:03,678
I've never been stuck like
this before. Anyone else?
307
00:37:05,055 --> 00:37:06,431
What can we do?
308
00:37:06,765 --> 00:37:07,849
- Just wait, I guess.
309
00:37:08,934 --> 00:37:10,352
- This would have to
happen on a Friday night
310
00:37:10,685 --> 00:37:12,270
when I've got a date.
311
00:37:12,604 --> 00:37:13,939
- Yeah, me too.
312
00:37:14,272 --> 00:37:15,357
- I could try the buttons.
313
00:37:21,071 --> 00:37:22,155
Sorry.
314
00:37:29,788 --> 00:37:30,413
No, no!
315
00:37:40,257 --> 00:37:43,176
- Remember New York City
and the big power failure?
316
00:37:43,510 --> 00:37:46,304
- Nine months later, the
birth rate went up like crazy.
317
00:37:46,638 --> 00:37:48,473
- They thought it was
the end of the world.
318
00:37:48,807 --> 00:37:50,684
- Now, can you imagine
how that must've been?
319
00:37:51,017 --> 00:37:52,686
- Yeah, you just have to.
320
00:37:53,019 --> 00:37:54,521
- Have to what?
321
00:37:54,854 --> 00:37:55,939
- You know.
322
00:37:56,273 --> 00:37:57,691
- If you thought you were doomed to die.
323
00:38:06,366 --> 00:38:08,827
- But he's such a child.
324
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:09,953
-All the more fun.
325
00:38:11,413 --> 00:38:13,081
- [Woman] But isn't that rape?
326
00:38:13,415 --> 00:38:15,667
- We'll plead temporary insanity.
327
00:38:16,001 --> 00:38:18,295
- With you, it's more like
permanent nymphomania.
328
00:38:18,628 --> 00:38:19,421
- Are you jealous?
329
00:38:19,754 --> 00:38:20,964
Come on, let's do it.
330
00:38:21,298 --> 00:38:24,217
I'll grab his pants, you
get out of your clothes.
331
00:38:24,551 --> 00:38:25,844
- Next time the lights go out.
332
00:38:37,897 --> 00:38:38,648
(man) Oh!
333
00:38:39,691 --> 00:38:41,359
Wait, what?
334
00:40:08,738 --> 00:40:10,198
(panting and moaning) (elevator buzzing)
335
00:40:27,507 --> 00:40:28,133
- Whoa.
336
00:40:29,384 --> 00:40:31,803
- Uh, going down! Again.
337
00:40:36,349 --> 00:40:38,685
- "Now, my problem is, how do I explain it
338
00:40:39,018 --> 00:40:39,936
to the rest of the office?
339
00:40:40,270 --> 00:40:42,105
I can hardly show my face.
340
00:40:42,439 --> 00:40:45,692
What's more, I can't even
get into a lift alone.
341
00:40:46,025 --> 00:40:47,485
They wait in the corridor for me
342
00:40:47,819 --> 00:40:49,070
so that they can leap on board.
343
00:40:49,404 --> 00:40:51,656
Signed, Junior Executive."
344
00:40:51,990 --> 00:40:52,782
Well, what do you think?
345
00:40:53,116 --> 00:40:55,952
- Oh no, you have a go,
you've got to start somewhere.
346
00:40:59,831 --> 00:41:02,208
"How do I explain it to
the rest of the office?"
347
00:41:03,668 --> 00:41:04,461
Why bother?
348
00:41:06,421 --> 00:41:08,631
"I can hardly show my face."
349
00:41:08,965 --> 00:41:10,300
Who wants to look at your face?
350
00:41:11,801 --> 00:41:13,803
"Why not bribe the elevator technician
351
00:41:14,137 --> 00:41:17,682
to show you how to make it
get stuck like that again?
352
00:41:18,016 --> 00:41:21,102
Until then, always take a cushion
with you as well as files.
353
00:41:21,436 --> 00:41:23,813
The elevator floor must be
murder on your back." (laughs)
354
00:41:24,147 --> 00:41:25,273
- Bravo, bravo!
355
00:41:25,607 --> 00:41:27,525
Almost vintage Colette.
356
00:41:29,152 --> 00:41:31,488
- Some of these descriptions
are a bit lurid.
357
00:41:32,530 --> 00:41:33,531
We cannot print them as they are.
358
00:41:33,865 --> 00:41:36,451
- Leave that to the sub-editors,
they're the experts.
359
00:41:36,784 --> 00:41:39,496
Just enough to fire up the
imaginations of the faithful.
360
00:41:42,165 --> 00:41:44,792
- Two hours to deadline. More coffee?
361
00:41:45,126 --> 00:41:46,002
- Oh, no.
362
00:41:46,336 --> 00:41:49,339
I'm okay with writer's ruin here.
363
00:41:49,672 --> 00:41:50,298
You go ahead.
364
00:41:51,299 --> 00:41:54,052
- Drinking booze always
makes me a bit funny.
365
00:41:54,385 --> 00:41:55,762
Especially in the middle of the night.
366
00:41:56,095 --> 00:41:58,473
- I'll do one on my own while you're away.
367
00:41:58,806 --> 00:41:59,849
Just for old time's sake.
368
00:42:06,022 --> 00:42:07,065
"Dear Colette,
369
00:42:08,066 --> 00:42:10,610
I've been friends with
Leslie for nearly a year now
370
00:42:10,944 --> 00:42:12,529
since we met at ballet class."
371
00:42:13,696 --> 00:42:15,657
"She's so much fun to be with
and so much less demanding
372
00:42:15,990 --> 00:42:17,200
than a man.
373
00:42:17,534 --> 00:42:18,993
The things we do together
take me right back
374
00:42:19,327 --> 00:42:21,579
to those wonderful days
at boarding school.
375
00:42:22,830 --> 00:42:23,456
And one afternoon,
376
00:42:23,790 --> 00:42:25,166
a little while back
when we were out riding,
377
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:28,378
it was a beautiful day,
not a cloud in the sky..."
378
00:43:58,134 --> 00:44:00,011
- Champagne?
- Oh, please.
379
00:44:03,681 --> 00:44:05,433
- You ride like a perfect angel.
380
00:44:05,767 --> 00:44:07,018
- Oh, you've taught me everything I know.
381
00:44:07,352 --> 00:44:09,896
- Nah, I just taught you the basics.
382
00:44:10,229 --> 00:44:12,148
I didn't teach you perfect balance.
383
00:44:13,316 --> 00:44:15,401
Nor that fine seat.
384
00:44:25,620 --> 00:44:27,955
(sighs) Nothing like
a good ride to let you
385
00:44:28,289 --> 00:44:29,082
know you're alive.
386
00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:32,960
We sure have a great
time together, don't we?
387
00:44:33,294 --> 00:44:34,253
- Yeah.
388
00:44:34,587 --> 00:44:36,964
- Tell me, do you date a lot of men?
389
00:44:37,298 --> 00:44:39,175
- Mm, not too many.
390
00:44:39,509 --> 00:44:40,885
- Why not? You're so beautiful.
391
00:44:41,219 --> 00:44:42,553
You must get lots of offers.
392
00:44:42,845 --> 00:44:44,847
- Mm, there's a few around.
393
00:44:45,181 --> 00:44:46,766
Men are so male, so dominant.
394
00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:48,893
All they want to do is get you into bed.
395
00:44:51,270 --> 00:44:52,939
So, what about you and men?
396
00:44:53,272 --> 00:44:54,816
- I feel the same way you do.
397
00:44:57,860 --> 00:45:01,489
Tell me, Bianca, do you
really like being with me?
398
00:45:01,823 --> 00:45:02,448
- Yeah.
399
00:45:04,033 --> 00:45:05,743
- I mean, being with me.
400
00:45:06,911 --> 00:45:08,329
- Yeah.
401
00:45:08,663 --> 00:45:10,957
- You see, I think of you and me
402
00:45:11,290 --> 00:45:13,710
as a lot more than just having fun.
403
00:45:14,043 --> 00:45:16,879
In fact, if you were to go
away or get tired of me,
404
00:45:17,839 --> 00:45:19,006
I don't know what I'd do.
405
00:45:19,966 --> 00:45:21,509
- I'm not gonna leave.
406
00:45:22,427 --> 00:45:26,180
- But you're so pretty and
you're so much younger than I am.
407
00:45:26,514 --> 00:45:27,223
- You're beautiful.
408
00:45:48,786 --> 00:45:50,955
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.
409
00:45:51,289 --> 00:45:53,082
You're not ready yet.
410
00:45:54,625 --> 00:45:56,294
- What do you mean?
411
00:45:56,627 --> 00:45:57,253
- Oh, nothing.
412
00:46:00,006 --> 00:46:01,924
- It's starting to rain,
we're gonna get soaked.
413
00:46:02,258 --> 00:46:03,426
And so are the horses.
414
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,845
- Forget about the horses,
they're used to it.
415
00:46:16,189 --> 00:46:18,983
- It's like the sky just
opened up on the whole ranch.
416
00:46:21,152 --> 00:46:22,612
Have some.
- Okay.
417
00:46:22,945 --> 00:46:24,906
- You're gonna get a cold.
418
00:46:30,203 --> 00:46:30,953
Come on, help me with my boots.
419
00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:37,001
- You better take your shirt off
420
00:46:37,335 --> 00:46:38,711
or you're gonna get a cold.
421
00:46:39,045 --> 00:46:40,546
It's freezing.
422
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:41,506
(shivering) Ooh!
423
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:46,511
(shivering) Ooh!
424
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:03,903
- What beautiful breasts you have.
425
00:47:04,237 --> 00:47:05,571
- Oh, I much more like yours.
426
00:47:05,905 --> 00:47:08,616
They're so small and firm. Beautiful.
427
00:47:08,950 --> 00:47:10,618
- Oh, but yours are...
428
00:47:10,952 --> 00:47:12,161
- They're like watermelons.
429
00:47:12,495 --> 00:47:14,038
My boobs are a drag.
430
00:47:14,372 --> 00:47:15,832
Come on, let me help, off with your boots.
431
00:47:18,668 --> 00:47:20,545
- Ah, they're tight.
432
00:47:20,878 --> 00:47:21,879
Ah, help me.
433
00:47:23,172 --> 00:47:23,673
' Ooh!
434
00:47:46,445 --> 00:47:48,531
- You'll have to take those pants off.
435
00:47:52,451 --> 00:47:53,703
They're all wet.
436
00:50:25,896 --> 00:50:26,897
- Better get some straw.
437
00:50:27,231 --> 00:50:28,232
Let them dag-burnt horses out
438
00:50:28,566 --> 00:50:30,192
before it starts raining again.
439
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:32,903
Damnedest thing I ever saw.
440
00:50:33,237 --> 00:50:35,906
Two fine mounts just left
standing out in the rain.
441
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:37,491
Nobody claim 'em.
442
00:50:38,534 --> 00:50:40,828
Least I can do is take
care of 'em and feed 'em.
443
00:50:41,996 --> 00:50:44,623
- "Whew boy, did that hurt.
444
00:50:44,957 --> 00:50:46,000
But luckily it wasn't serious."
445
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:47,918
The worst thing was
explaining to the farmer
446
00:50:48,252 --> 00:50:49,420
just what we were doing there,
447
00:50:49,754 --> 00:50:52,423
'stark naked' as he put it.
448
00:50:52,757 --> 00:50:54,425
The problem is, now
that I have three scars
449
00:50:54,759 --> 00:50:56,177
across my behind,
450
00:50:56,510 --> 00:50:58,429
can you recommend a good plastic surgeon?
451
00:50:58,763 --> 00:51:00,598
Signed, Punctured."
452
00:51:00,931 --> 00:51:05,102
Whew, sure must have
cut down on her riding.
453
00:51:07,229 --> 00:51:08,689
"Oh, any good plastic
surgeon should be able
454
00:51:09,023 --> 00:51:10,524
to get to the bottom of it."
455
00:51:11,942 --> 00:51:15,988
"In the meantime, has any
reader got a foam saddle?"
456
00:51:19,742 --> 00:51:20,659
- Interesting?
457
00:51:20,993 --> 00:51:23,162
- No, just some tame, girly stuff.
458
00:51:23,496 --> 00:51:24,497
Your turn.
459
00:51:32,671 --> 00:51:35,716
- "Dear Colette, I'm fresh
out of business school,
460
00:51:36,050 --> 00:51:38,844
and last week was my
first at a real office.
461
00:51:39,178 --> 00:51:41,972
I was a little nervous for
a start, being a new girl,
462
00:51:42,306 --> 00:51:44,100
but little did I know just how quickly I'd
463
00:51:44,433 --> 00:51:45,518
get into the swing of things."
464
00:51:54,276 --> 00:51:55,528
- Oh, Ms. Carter.
465
00:51:55,861 --> 00:51:57,613
Mr. Clark would like to speak with you.
466
00:51:59,573 --> 00:52:00,366
Mr. Clark?
467
00:52:01,367 --> 00:52:02,743
Mr. Clark?
468
00:52:03,077 --> 00:52:03,786
- Ms. Carter's here.
469
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,039
- Oh, Ms. Carter! I'm glad you came up.
470
00:52:07,373 --> 00:52:10,417
I wanted to invite you to a
party at my house tonight.
471
00:52:10,751 --> 00:52:11,585
- Oh, I'm sorry, I can't.
472
00:52:11,919 --> 00:52:14,171
I've already made plans--
- But you must come!
473
00:52:14,505 --> 00:52:15,881
We've got everything ready.
474
00:52:16,215 --> 00:52:16,757
- Yes.
475
00:52:17,091 --> 00:52:20,052
Ms. Carter, I won't take no for an answer.
476
00:52:20,386 --> 00:52:20,928
- I'll come.
477
00:52:21,262 --> 00:52:22,346
Good.
478
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,432
All right, then. For now, I
guess it's just back to work,
479
00:52:25,766 --> 00:52:27,726
and we'll see you later.
480
00:52:28,060 --> 00:52:28,644
- Okay.
481
00:52:38,404 --> 00:52:39,321
Well, do you think Ms.
Carter's gonna show up
482
00:52:39,655 --> 00:52:40,573
at our little party?
483
00:52:40,906 --> 00:52:42,241
- Well, I sure hope so.
484
00:52:42,575 --> 00:52:45,119
It wouldn't be a party without
the guest of honor, would it?
485
00:52:46,620 --> 00:52:47,121
- I don't think so.
486
00:52:47,454 --> 00:52:48,497
- Little does she know.
487
00:52:49,957 --> 00:52:51,000
Oh, here she is.
488
00:52:51,333 --> 00:52:52,751
- Oh, Ms. Carter!
489
00:52:54,420 --> 00:52:57,173
Well, I'm so happy you
could come to our party.
490
00:52:57,506 --> 00:52:59,008
Why don't you just have a seat right here.
491
00:52:59,341 --> 00:53:00,217
- Thank you.
- Hello.
492
00:53:00,551 --> 00:53:01,177
— Hi.
493
00:53:01,510 --> 00:53:03,387
- And would you like some champagne?
494
00:53:03,721 --> 00:53:04,763
- Yes, please.
495
00:53:05,097 --> 00:53:06,682
- How about some champagne, Mr. Davis?
496
00:53:07,016 --> 00:53:10,352
You remember Mr. Davis
here, from the office.
497
00:53:10,686 --> 00:53:13,981
And of course you remember
Tony, our office boy.
498
00:53:14,315 --> 00:53:14,940
— Hi.
499
00:53:20,654 --> 00:53:22,907
- Well now, did you enjoy your first week
500
00:53:23,240 --> 00:53:24,408
at the office, Ms. Carter?
501
00:53:25,993 --> 00:53:28,996
Ms. Carter! I said, did
you enjoy your first week
502
00:53:29,330 --> 00:53:30,206
at the office?
503
00:53:30,539 --> 00:53:31,123
- [Ms. Carter] Yes, I did.
504
00:53:31,457 --> 00:53:32,791
The people seemed very friendly.
505
00:53:33,125 --> 00:53:35,878
- (laughs) Oh, we're a very
friendly group here, Ms. Carter.
506
00:53:36,212 --> 00:53:38,547
- What did you say your typing speed was?
507
00:53:38,881 --> 00:53:39,882
- [Ms. Carter] Sixty-nine
words per minute.
508
00:53:40,216 --> 00:53:41,634
- Sixty-nine!
- Sixty-nine!
509
00:53:42,801 --> 00:53:44,637
I wonder if you'll be able to type 69
510
00:53:44,970 --> 00:53:46,597
under special conditions?
511
00:53:47,598 --> 00:53:48,849
- Now then, Ms. Carter,
512
00:53:49,183 --> 00:53:52,353
are you ready to begin
our special typing test?
513
00:53:52,686 --> 00:53:53,187
- All set.
514
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:54,521
- Okay.
515
00:53:54,855 --> 00:53:56,982
Now, Ms. Christie here is going to dictate
516
00:53:57,316 --> 00:53:58,984
while you type, okay?
- Are you ready?
517
00:53:59,318 --> 00:54:00,361
' Go!
518
00:54:00,694 --> 00:54:04,740
- I, Ms. Carter, do hereby swear,
519
00:54:05,074 --> 00:54:08,452
state, decree,
520
00:54:08,786 --> 00:54:12,373
and promise to do everything
521
00:54:12,706 --> 00:54:16,543
I am instructed to do.
522
00:54:16,877 --> 00:54:21,674
(laughs) Today, tonight, tomorrow.
523
00:54:22,174 --> 00:54:23,467
Oh, she's making so many mistakes.
524
00:54:23,801 --> 00:54:25,636
And for ever more.
525
00:54:25,970 --> 00:54:26,887
Henceforth.
526
00:54:28,806 --> 00:54:30,891
And in the future.
527
00:54:31,225 --> 00:54:32,017
- Stop!
528
00:54:32,351 --> 00:54:33,060
- Wonderful!
529
00:54:33,394 --> 00:54:37,064
You passed the test with
flying colors, my dear.
530
00:54:37,398 --> 00:54:40,401
- Ms. Christie, if you'll
continue on with the tests,
531
00:54:40,734 --> 00:54:43,779
I think that I'll go change
into something just a little bit
532
00:54:44,113 --> 00:54:46,824
more fashionable before the others arrive.
533
00:54:47,157 --> 00:54:48,325
- Oh, all right.
534
00:54:48,659 --> 00:54:49,702
Excuse me.
535
00:54:55,165 --> 00:54:56,458
Mr. Davis?
536
00:54:57,376 --> 00:55:00,754
- Mr. Davis, come here,
let me talk to you.
537
00:55:01,088 --> 00:55:03,007
Oh dear, here, wipe your mouth.
538
00:55:04,341 --> 00:55:08,512
Now, I think we should devise
another test for Ms. Carter.
539
00:55:11,557 --> 00:55:13,309
- Can I take you away from all this?
540
00:55:14,518 --> 00:55:16,937
- I'd like to, but I
don't want to lose my job.
541
00:55:23,819 --> 00:55:25,070
- Ms. Carter?
542
00:55:25,404 --> 00:55:26,989
Ms. Carter, come here.
543
00:55:35,581 --> 00:55:37,958
We're going to prepare you
for your serving test, love.
544
00:55:38,292 --> 00:55:38,917
Step UP-
545
00:55:40,294 --> 00:55:41,628
That's right, perfect.
546
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:45,090
Now, just relax. It's okay.
547
00:55:47,551 --> 00:55:50,637
You have too many clothes on,
it's too hot for all those.
548
00:55:50,971 --> 00:55:52,806
Isn't that better already?
549
00:55:53,140 --> 00:55:54,350
Get the back, I'll get this.
550
00:55:54,683 --> 00:55:56,393
Just relax, put your hands
here, there that's good.
551
00:55:56,727 --> 00:55:57,811
Put your hands behind here.
552
00:56:03,233 --> 00:56:04,526
Get the other one.
553
00:56:07,071 --> 00:56:08,906
I get to do this.
554
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:10,449
Right.
555
00:56:12,868 --> 00:56:13,660
' No!
556
00:56:13,994 --> 00:56:15,120
No!
557
00:56:16,747 --> 00:56:17,915
- What?
- What?
558
00:56:18,248 --> 00:56:19,124
- Wait a minute.
559
00:56:20,417 --> 00:56:21,502
- We shouldn't have done this.
560
00:56:21,835 --> 00:56:22,711
We shouldn't have done this to you.
561
00:56:23,045 --> 00:56:24,755
- Thank you for rescuing me.
562
00:57:21,478 --> 00:57:23,397
- Not the best position,
but I guess it'll do.
563
00:57:23,730 --> 00:57:24,648
- That's a lot like one of my friends--
564
00:57:24,982 --> 00:57:25,816
- Hello, everybody!
565
00:57:26,150 --> 00:57:29,111
- (gasps) Well, Mr. Clark!
566
00:57:29,445 --> 00:57:30,279
- Aren't we cute?
567
00:57:30,612 --> 00:57:31,113
- Do you like it?
568
00:57:31,447 --> 00:57:32,531
- I've never seen that one before.
569
00:57:32,865 --> 00:57:34,366
- I picked it out myself.
570
00:57:34,700 --> 00:57:36,118
I got it from George's of Hollywood.
571
00:57:36,452 --> 00:57:37,911
- Oh, love it!
- Oh, George's, yeah.
572
00:57:40,414 --> 00:57:42,291
- Well, hello there, Mr. Davis.
573
00:57:42,624 --> 00:57:44,460
- Oh, Mr. Clark.
574
00:57:45,919 --> 00:57:48,422
- Mm, that was nice.
- My, that looks pretty.
575
00:57:48,755 --> 00:57:49,256
- What do you have under there?
576
00:57:49,590 --> 00:57:50,757
- Not as pretty as yours.
577
00:57:51,091 --> 00:57:51,592
- Well.
578
00:57:51,925 --> 00:57:53,552
- Where's Ms. Carter?
579
00:57:53,886 --> 00:57:57,222
- She flunked the serving
test, but she's passing others.
580
00:57:59,016 --> 00:58:01,643
- Yes, I see she got to 69.
581
00:58:01,977 --> 00:58:03,312
- (laughs) She did.
582
00:58:03,645 --> 00:58:06,190
- Well, as long as she got to 69,
583
00:58:06,523 --> 00:58:07,941
why don't we see what we can get to?
584
00:58:08,275 --> 00:58:09,651
- Pardon me, Julie.
- Of course.
585
00:58:12,821 --> 00:58:15,199
Those are so much better
looking than my own.
586
00:58:15,532 --> 00:58:17,242
- Well, I've had them a lot longer
587
00:58:17,576 --> 00:58:19,161
than you've had yours.
588
00:58:24,541 --> 00:58:26,585
- Hm, there we go.
589
00:58:26,919 --> 00:58:28,587
Let me help you with this one.
590
00:58:28,921 --> 00:58:30,881
I just love to take off bottoms.
591
00:58:31,215 --> 00:58:31,715
- Ooh.
592
00:58:32,049 --> 00:58:32,799
- Allow me.
593
00:58:35,844 --> 00:58:36,970
- Top or bottom, let me have the top.
594
00:58:37,304 --> 00:58:37,930
- Okay.
595
00:58:53,695 --> 00:58:55,113
- That's nice.
596
00:58:56,281 --> 00:58:58,283
- Oh, we have Habano.
597
00:59:03,789 --> 00:59:04,414
What is this?
598
00:59:04,748 --> 00:59:07,042
- It's a cucumber. I'm a vegetarian.
599
00:59:07,376 --> 00:59:08,877
- Well, now you can begin to eat meat.
600
00:59:09,211 --> 00:59:09,795
- Yes.
601
00:59:12,548 --> 00:59:13,048
-Awhip!
602
00:59:13,382 --> 00:59:14,258
- You needed a new one.
603
00:59:14,591 --> 00:59:16,218
- I did, didn't I?
- Yes, I know that.
604
00:59:16,552 --> 00:59:17,052
- Well, that's a nice one.
605
00:59:17,386 --> 00:59:18,762
And what have you got?
606
00:59:19,846 --> 00:59:21,014
Ah-ha.
607
00:59:21,348 --> 00:59:22,766
- Ooh me, yes, yes.
608
00:59:23,100 --> 00:59:23,934
- Hmm, well.
609
00:59:24,268 --> 00:59:25,352
- I don't know what
I'm gonna do with that.
610
00:59:25,686 --> 00:59:26,603
-I do.
611
00:59:51,545 --> 00:59:56,425
(man groaning and panting
612
01:00:46,058 --> 01:00:47,976
- "And then Mr. Clark--"
613
01:00:49,561 --> 01:00:51,146
Maybe I shouldn't go on.
614
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:52,898
Surely that's too hot to print.
615
01:00:53,231 --> 01:00:54,650
- (chuckles) Don't worry,
you get worse than that.
616
01:00:54,983 --> 01:00:57,819
- [Woman] I can't believe
that this really happened.
617
01:00:59,112 --> 01:00:59,738
- Most of them don't.
618
01:01:00,072 --> 01:01:02,115
They just make it up to see
if they can get it printed.
619
01:01:02,449 --> 01:01:03,283
Tell you what:
620
01:01:03,617 --> 01:01:04,868
Put that one aside. If we
don't get anything better,
621
01:01:05,202 --> 01:01:06,912
we'll clean it up later.
622
01:01:07,245 --> 01:01:07,954
- Okay.
623
01:01:08,288 --> 01:01:10,040
Some people sure have interesting lives.
624
01:01:10,374 --> 01:01:13,210
You do the next one, I
need to take a pee.
625
01:01:13,543 --> 01:01:15,212
- Don't fall asleep again.
626
01:01:21,802 --> 01:01:22,928
"Dear Colette,
627
01:01:23,261 --> 01:01:25,681
My friends and I were at
the pool a while back,
628
01:01:26,014 --> 01:01:27,891
making the most of the late autumn sun."
629
01:01:59,715 --> 01:02:01,007
- Do you fancy him?
630
01:02:01,341 --> 01:02:02,426
' No, do you?
631
01:02:02,759 --> 01:02:04,469
- No, but I'd do him.
632
01:02:30,871 --> 01:02:32,706
- [Jo] I bet he's got a
sword on him like a horse.
633
01:02:33,039 --> 01:02:35,500
- Oh, Jo, you're so crude.
634
01:02:35,834 --> 01:02:37,794
- Probably need a microscope to find it.
635
01:02:38,128 --> 01:02:40,422
- No, you can see from his
shorts that he's built.
636
01:02:41,590 --> 01:02:43,258
- He's probably just got old socks
637
01:02:43,592 --> 01:02:44,968
stuffed down there to fool us.
638
01:02:45,302 --> 01:02:49,681
That's an awfully funny
shape for socks.
639
01:02:52,476 --> 01:02:55,562
- I wonder why he's so
cold, so unapproachable.
640
01:02:55,896 --> 01:02:58,774
- Yeah, he just sits there,
like he's made of stone.
641
01:03:02,778 --> 01:03:04,196
- Do you know anyone who's been with him?
642
01:03:04,529 --> 01:03:06,364
- Well, my sister has a
friend who has a sister
643
01:03:06,698 --> 01:03:08,575
who has a friend who
said she dated him once.
644
01:03:08,909 --> 01:03:09,451
And she said--
645
01:03:09,785 --> 01:03:11,536
- Ah, you can't believe that.
646
01:03:11,870 --> 01:03:13,121
- [Jo] Maybe he's queer.
647
01:03:13,455 --> 01:03:14,581
- Could be.
648
01:03:14,915 --> 01:03:16,833
You know, they appear tough and masculine.
649
01:03:17,167 --> 01:03:18,710
The big macho bit.
650
01:03:19,044 --> 01:03:21,963
- No, he couldn't be queer, could he?
651
01:03:22,297 --> 01:03:23,924
I mean, surely it would show.
652
01:03:24,257 --> 01:03:25,759
- Might be a closet queen.
653
01:03:26,092 --> 01:03:27,511
- Well, whatever he is,
654
01:03:27,844 --> 01:03:29,387
we might as well be the
three ugly ducklings
655
01:03:29,721 --> 01:03:31,723
for all the notice he takes of us.
656
01:03:39,356 --> 01:03:41,691
- There must be a way.
657
01:03:42,025 --> 01:03:44,110
- [Woman] Why don't you
pretend to get sunstroke?
658
01:03:44,444 --> 01:03:45,904
- Ha, funny.
659
01:03:46,238 --> 01:03:47,864
All he'd do is call an ambulance.
660
01:03:48,198 --> 01:03:48,990
- Hey, that's it!
661
01:03:49,324 --> 01:03:50,242
- [Woman] That's what?
662
01:03:50,575 --> 01:03:51,576
- I just had an idea.
663
01:03:51,910 --> 01:03:52,536
- Well, come on!
664
01:03:52,869 --> 01:03:55,330
- Why don't one of us get out
there and pretend to drown?
665
01:03:55,664 --> 01:03:57,415
He'll have to come out
then, and once he's there...
666
01:03:57,749 --> 01:03:59,334
- Great, go to it.
667
01:03:59,668 --> 01:04:02,671
- Hey, I wasn't volunteering,
I only said one of us.
668
01:04:03,004 --> 01:04:04,256
How about Samantha?
669
01:04:04,589 --> 01:04:05,257
- I can't swim.
670
01:04:05,590 --> 01:04:06,925
- Well, that's even better.
671
01:04:07,259 --> 01:04:10,178
It'll be all the more realistic
when you start to drown.
672
01:04:10,512 --> 01:04:11,680
- Funny.
673
01:04:12,013 --> 01:04:12,973
- Why don't we draw lots?
674
01:04:13,306 --> 01:04:15,100
The long straw gets the job.
675
01:04:15,433 --> 01:04:16,309
- Okay.
676
01:04:16,643 --> 01:04:17,227
- Well, okay.
677
01:04:17,561 --> 01:04:19,729
But I'm serious about
not being able to swim.
678
01:04:31,491 --> 01:04:33,118
- Looks like you've got the job.
679
01:04:33,451 --> 01:04:35,370
- Look, even if you can't
trick him into anything,
680
01:04:35,704 --> 01:04:37,289
at least try and grab a handful.
681
01:04:37,622 --> 01:04:39,624
I've just got to know.
682
01:04:39,958 --> 01:04:41,209
- Charming. Well, what do I do?
683
01:04:41,543 --> 01:04:43,169
- Wave your arms around, yell "help!"
684
01:04:43,503 --> 01:04:44,629
He'll be in like a shot.
685
01:04:44,963 --> 01:04:46,715
- Well, what about when he gets to me?
686
01:04:47,048 --> 01:04:48,550
- Just let nature take its course.
687
01:04:53,221 --> 01:04:54,264
- You sure this is right?
688
01:04:54,598 --> 01:04:56,933
- [Woman] Of course it's
right! Get in there, kid!
689
01:05:16,828 --> 01:05:19,998
- Help, help, help, help!
690
01:05:25,879 --> 01:05:29,174
Ah! Help, help, help!
691
01:09:29,622 --> 01:09:31,374
- "Now I'm worried in case the lifeguard
692
01:09:31,708 --> 01:09:34,419
blows the whistle on us and
tells the pool authorities.
693
01:09:34,752 --> 01:09:35,920
If we're not allowed into the pool,
694
01:09:36,254 --> 01:09:38,423
I'll just never learn how to swim.
695
01:09:38,756 --> 01:09:40,383
Yours, Sinking Fast."
696
01:09:42,135 --> 01:09:42,760
Let's see...
697
01:09:44,554 --> 01:09:47,182
"Why bother to learn how to swim?
698
01:09:47,515 --> 01:09:49,267
Seems to me you're going to have much more
699
01:09:49,601 --> 01:09:50,560
fun the other way.
700
01:09:50,894 --> 01:09:53,188
Otherwise, join the divers' union.
701
01:09:53,521 --> 01:09:54,731
Signed, Colette."
702
01:09:55,064 --> 01:09:56,232
Hey, that's not bad.
703
01:09:56,566 --> 01:09:58,651
- (sighs) Well, that's better.
704
01:09:58,985 --> 01:09:59,485
How did you go?
705
01:09:59,819 --> 01:10:00,320
- Okay.
706
01:10:00,653 --> 01:10:04,616
Was one about learning
how to swim. The hard way.
707
01:10:08,578 --> 01:10:09,704
Tell me another one, Harry.
708
01:10:10,038 --> 01:10:11,456
- Here we go.
709
01:10:12,415 --> 01:10:15,251
"Dear Colette, I'm writing
to you about an experience I
710
01:10:15,585 --> 01:10:16,586
had some time ago.
711
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:20,506
I was just 16 at the time,
but very naive for my age.
712
01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:22,759
It was after the annual
family get together.
713
01:10:23,092 --> 01:10:25,303
I was alone downstairs, doing my homework,
714
01:10:25,637 --> 01:10:26,679
when I got to wondering where Mommy
715
01:10:27,013 --> 01:10:28,056
and Uncle Fred had got to."
716
01:13:12,595 --> 01:13:13,763
- Virginia!
717
01:13:14,097 --> 01:13:16,808
- And just what do you think
you're doing there, Virginia?
718
01:13:19,685 --> 01:13:20,978
Well?
719
01:13:21,312 --> 01:13:21,938
- Um.
720
01:13:23,064 --> 01:13:25,733
(stammering) I...|'m
wondering where you were.
721
01:13:26,067 --> 01:13:26,984
- I see, I see.
722
01:13:27,318 --> 01:13:29,320
I think it's about time your mother
723
01:13:29,654 --> 01:13:31,072
had a little frank talk with you.
724
01:13:35,701 --> 01:13:39,247
- Really, Fred, this is
hardly the time or the place.
725
01:13:39,580 --> 01:13:40,081
- Come now, Frances.
726
01:13:40,415 --> 01:13:42,959
You owe your stepdaughter an explanation.
727
01:13:43,292 --> 01:13:47,755
- (sighs) When I married
your daddy four years ago,
728
01:13:48,089 --> 01:13:51,467
you were already grown up.
729
01:13:52,718 --> 01:13:55,012
Did your real mother ever
explain to you certain things
730
01:13:55,346 --> 01:13:57,557
about men and women?
731
01:13:59,100 --> 01:14:01,602
- Well, Daddy left Mommy
when I was still young,
732
01:14:01,936 --> 01:14:03,146
and he took me with him.
733
01:14:03,479 --> 01:14:05,731
- Yes, yes, I forgot.
734
01:14:06,065 --> 01:14:09,902
Well, would you like to ask
me any questions about...
735
01:14:10,236 --> 01:14:11,237
- Why Uncle Fred's here?
736
01:14:12,196 --> 01:14:14,282
— Partly that.
737
01:14:14,615 --> 01:14:18,286
What I mean is...what we were doing here.
738
01:14:18,619 --> 01:14:19,454
- Oh, you mean the screwing.
739
01:14:19,787 --> 01:14:21,247
I know all about that.
740
01:14:23,958 --> 01:14:26,210
- But what I don't understand was
741
01:14:26,544 --> 01:14:29,088
what Uncle Ben was doing
standing by the bed.
742
01:14:29,422 --> 01:14:30,631
- Oh dear.
743
01:14:30,965 --> 01:14:31,507
Well.
744
01:14:31,841 --> 01:14:36,637
- That, my clear, is just
another part of lovemaking.
745
01:14:37,138 --> 01:14:41,851
We must use our bodies
in all sorts of ways.
746
01:14:42,185 --> 01:14:45,730
We must treat our bodies
like the finely-tuned
747
01:14:46,063 --> 01:14:48,149
instruments they are.
748
01:14:49,317 --> 01:14:50,651
We must not be ashamed of anything
749
01:14:50,985 --> 01:14:52,945
our bodies find pleasure in.
750
01:15:31,943 --> 01:15:34,028
No, no, my dear, let's not be selfish.
751
01:15:35,363 --> 01:15:36,989
How about Frances?
752
01:15:37,323 --> 01:15:37,949
- Frances?
753
01:15:45,706 --> 01:15:48,376
- You see, you better
stop calling her Mommy
754
01:15:48,709 --> 01:15:50,670
because she's not your real mother.
755
01:15:51,003 --> 01:15:53,464
Why don't you treat
her like a real friend?
756
01:16:03,140 --> 01:16:06,644
And now, my clear, why I was
standing by the bed before
757
01:16:06,978 --> 01:16:09,772
was so that Frances could kiss my...
758
01:16:10,106 --> 01:16:11,482
- Your...your...?
759
01:16:11,816 --> 01:16:13,192
- [Fred] Precisely.
760
01:18:39,839 --> 01:18:40,423
- "Now that I'm older,
761
01:18:40,756 --> 01:18:44,385
I find I'm hopeless in bed
unless I have Fluffy watching.
762
01:18:44,719 --> 01:18:47,221
Some of my dates are beginning to wonder.
763
01:18:47,555 --> 01:18:49,765
How can I make Mommy and
Uncle Fred give him back?
764
01:18:50,099 --> 01:18:51,934
"Signed, Restless."
765
01:18:52,268 --> 01:18:54,270
- She should have stuck
with happy families.
766
01:18:55,271 --> 01:18:58,023
The family that plays
together, stays together.
767
01:18:58,357 --> 01:18:59,900
I guess she just has to leave home.
768
01:19:00,818 --> 01:19:02,862
- I don't think
769
01:19:03,195 --> 01:19:05,781
Uncle Fred would go for
that.
770
01:19:06,115 --> 01:19:10,244
- And we can suggest she
stops playing with her Fluffy.
771
01:19:10,578 --> 01:19:11,954
My heart bleeds.
772
01:19:13,289 --> 01:19:14,039
That'|| do.
773
01:19:27,052 --> 01:19:28,471
"Dear Colette,
774
01:19:28,804 --> 01:19:30,723
I don't quite know how you define a virgin
775
01:19:31,056 --> 01:19:34,518
when you're referring to a
guy. All guys masturbate."
776
01:19:34,852 --> 01:19:35,853
Can we get away with that, Harry?
777
01:19:36,187 --> 01:19:37,480
- Yes, sounds like a medical term.
778
01:19:37,813 --> 01:19:39,315
They're always good value.
779
01:19:39,648 --> 01:19:41,150
- Oh, where was I?
780
01:19:41,484 --> 01:19:44,069
"Masturbate -- but until
the other day, I hadn't
781
01:19:44,403 --> 01:19:46,030
scored properly with a girl.
782
01:19:46,363 --> 01:19:48,574
Carol and I had taken
a ride to the country,
783
01:19:48,908 --> 01:19:50,826
and we'd found a spot to neck a little."
784
01:20:27,738 --> 01:20:28,906
- Now, Sterling,
785
01:20:29,240 --> 01:20:31,867
we're not going to start
that again, are we?
786
01:20:32,201 --> 01:20:34,161
- Carol, there's no one around here.
787
01:20:34,495 --> 01:20:34,954
No one's gonna come.
788
01:20:35,287 --> 01:20:36,080
- That's for sure.
789
01:20:37,164 --> 01:20:41,043
- (sighs) Look, we've been going
steady now for three years.
790
01:20:41,377 --> 01:20:43,879
Don't you think that we should
get into something more?
791
01:20:44,213 --> 01:20:46,382
- Sterling, you know I
swore on Mother's death bed
792
01:20:46,715 --> 01:20:49,718
that I would remain a virgin
until the day I married.
793
01:20:50,052 --> 01:20:52,137
- Jesus, Carol, if my nuts get any tighter
794
01:20:52,471 --> 01:20:54,682
I'll be able to use them as golf balls.
795
01:20:55,015 --> 01:20:56,517
And they hurt.
796
01:20:56,851 --> 01:20:58,352
- I can't help that.
797
01:20:58,686 --> 01:20:59,603
- Come on, Carol.
798
01:20:59,937 --> 01:21:01,814
It's not like you're
going to get pregnant.
799
01:21:03,315 --> 01:21:04,316
You're even on the pill.
800
01:21:04,650 --> 01:21:08,112
- Mommy told me to take them
in case I ever got raped.
801
01:21:08,445 --> 01:21:09,071
- Rape?
802
01:21:09,405 --> 01:21:10,823
Raped?
803
01:21:11,156 --> 01:21:12,408
I should be so lucky.
804
01:21:12,741 --> 01:21:15,077
- Now, Sterling, get a hold of yourself.
805
01:21:15,411 --> 01:21:16,370
- That's the whole goddamn problem.
806
01:21:16,704 --> 01:21:18,664
I spend too much time holding myself.
807
01:21:21,959 --> 01:21:24,086
You don't think I understand.
808
01:21:24,420 --> 01:21:25,629
Well, that's where you're wrong.
809
01:21:25,963 --> 01:21:27,131
You're not the only one, you know.
810
01:21:27,464 --> 01:21:29,049
- It's perfectly all right with me
811
01:21:29,383 --> 01:21:30,634
if you take other girls out.
812
01:21:30,968 --> 01:21:32,011
- That's not what I mean.
813
01:21:39,977 --> 01:21:42,396
I was saving myself for you, big deal.
814
01:21:42,730 --> 01:21:43,772
- You don't mean?
815
01:21:44,106 --> 01:21:45,691
- Yeah, I'm a goddamn virgin, too.
816
01:21:53,866 --> 01:21:55,159
- Saving yourself, huh?
817
01:21:56,702 --> 01:21:58,787
Poor baby, let Momma help.
818
01:23:50,441 --> 01:23:51,734
Bust all over me!
819
01:23:53,944 --> 01:23:56,947
Oh, what a shame to waste
such a beautiful thing.
820
01:24:34,693 --> 01:24:37,112
- "Since then, I can't get
it off unless I'm in the car,
821
01:24:37,446 --> 01:24:39,406
laying Carol across the back seats,
822
01:24:39,740 --> 01:24:40,783
just like in the country.
823
01:24:41,116 --> 01:24:43,702
And she needs a fast
drive to get her going.
824
01:24:44,036 --> 01:24:45,454
The neighbors have got together a petition
825
01:24:45,788 --> 01:24:47,372
to run us off the block.
826
01:24:47,706 --> 01:24:50,250
They say the noise of the
wheelies is keeping them awake.
827
01:24:50,584 --> 01:24:52,628
What's more, they say I
have to put up a fence
828
01:24:52,961 --> 01:24:55,255
so they can't see what
we do in the driveway.
829
01:24:55,589 --> 01:24:57,257
Help, Backseat Driver."
830
01:25:05,099 --> 01:25:05,849
Let's see.
831
01:25:07,476 --> 01:25:09,061
"Dear Backseat Driver,
832
01:25:09,394 --> 01:25:12,022
Forget the car, take the
seats into the house,
833
01:25:12,356 --> 01:25:15,400
and get some old, oily
rags so it smells the same.
834
01:25:17,027 --> 01:25:20,697
Better still, keep
doing what you're doing,
835
01:25:21,031 --> 01:25:24,868
but have someone sell the
neighbors tickets to watch.
836
01:25:25,202 --> 01:25:27,162
Signed, Colette."
837
01:25:27,496 --> 01:25:28,956
What a load of rubbish.
838
01:25:29,289 --> 01:25:33,127
- (grunts) Well, I told you, didn't I?
839
01:25:36,880 --> 01:25:38,841
- Now, I never tried that before.
840
01:25:41,051 --> 01:25:43,137
Must be awfully hard on your back.
841
01:25:44,596 --> 01:25:45,472
How are we going for numbers?
842
01:25:45,806 --> 01:25:50,060
- Oh, nine so far if you
count that gang bang number we
843
01:25:50,394 --> 01:25:51,687
said we'd leave till later.
844
01:25:53,105 --> 01:25:54,940
- Okay, lucky last.
845
01:25:56,191 --> 01:25:56,775
Let's hope it's a juicy one.
846
01:25:57,109 --> 01:25:58,819
- No, no, you read it.
847
01:26:05,117 --> 01:26:06,410
- "Dear Colette,
848
01:26:06,743 --> 01:26:09,580
I was always brought up a
strict Catholic, and I've always
849
01:26:09,913 --> 01:26:12,708
tried to live by the strict
teachings of the church.
850
01:26:13,041 --> 01:26:14,835
But lustful thoughts about boys I know
851
01:26:15,169 --> 01:26:16,753
seem to occupy my mind.
852
01:26:17,921 --> 01:26:20,799
Until recently, I'd never
let a boy even touch me,
853
01:26:21,133 --> 01:26:22,885
but I couldn't stop thinking about it.
854
01:26:24,094 --> 01:26:25,345
One day I thought I just had to
855
01:26:25,679 --> 01:26:27,556
visit the church to confess."
856
01:27:50,097 --> 01:27:52,933
- Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
857
01:27:58,605 --> 01:28:00,857
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
858
01:28:02,401 --> 01:28:04,069
- [Priest] Yes, my child?
859
01:28:04,403 --> 01:28:05,821
- I have sinned, Father.
860
01:28:07,072 --> 01:28:08,699
- [Priest] Yes, my child.
861
01:28:11,076 --> 01:28:13,412
- I've harbored secret lusts.
862
01:28:13,745 --> 01:28:15,080
- [Priest] Go on, my child.
863
01:28:17,749 --> 01:28:20,168
- Well, I am a virgin, Father,
864
01:28:20,502 --> 01:28:22,212
as the teachings of the church
865
01:28:22,546 --> 01:28:24,673
would have me remain until I'm married.
866
01:28:25,007 --> 01:28:26,550
- [Priest] Absolutely, my child.
867
01:28:28,593 --> 01:28:31,763
- But, I have lusted after a man.
868
01:28:33,140 --> 01:28:35,017
- [Priest] Who is this man, my child?
869
01:28:35,350 --> 01:28:38,270
- Oh, don't make me tell you that.
870
01:28:38,603 --> 01:28:41,231
- [Priest] You must for your
sins to be fully forgiven.
871
01:28:43,900 --> 01:28:46,737
- Well, it's Joe.
872
01:28:50,115 --> 01:28:52,117
Joe, the church janitor.
873
01:28:53,118 --> 01:28:56,204
- It is perfectly natural
for a healthy, young woman
874
01:28:56,538 --> 01:28:57,456
to feel like that.
875
01:28:58,790 --> 01:29:00,417
- [Imogene] That's not all, Father.
876
01:29:01,501 --> 01:29:03,003
- Go on.
877
01:29:03,337 --> 01:29:05,922
- [Imogene] Well, I've
committed a sin of the flesh.
878
01:29:07,257 --> 01:29:09,092
- But you are a virgin, my child.
879
01:29:09,426 --> 01:29:10,135
- Oh, yes.
880
01:29:11,094 --> 01:29:16,016
Well, I've committed
the sin of self abuse.
881
01:29:16,975 --> 01:29:18,685
- [Joe] When was this, my child?
882
01:29:20,395 --> 01:29:21,605
- At night.
883
01:29:21,938 --> 01:29:23,065
- [Joe] Last night?
884
01:29:24,024 --> 01:29:25,359
- Every night.
885
01:29:25,692 --> 01:29:26,318
- Every night?
886
01:29:26,651 --> 01:29:28,862
(clears throat) Every night?
887
01:29:29,988 --> 01:29:30,947
- Yes, Father.
888
01:29:32,032 --> 01:29:35,535
I lay in bed and I think of Joe and...
889
01:29:36,912 --> 01:29:38,663
I just can't help myself.
890
01:29:38,997 --> 01:29:41,541
I just can't resist and...
891
01:29:41,875 --> 01:29:43,710
Oh, Father, I'm so wicked.
892
01:29:44,044 --> 01:29:44,795
I just...
893
01:29:45,128 --> 01:29:47,047
(sighs) I'm beyond forgiving.
894
01:29:47,381 --> 01:29:49,674
- Of course you are not, my child.
895
01:29:51,843 --> 01:29:55,055
Touching oneself is
not such an evil thing.
896
01:29:57,099 --> 01:29:58,767
- [Imogene] That's not all, Father.
897
01:29:59,810 --> 01:30:01,228
- What else, then?
898
01:30:02,771 --> 01:30:07,067
- Well, I don't just touch myself.
899
01:30:09,903 --> 01:30:10,654
|...
900
01:30:11,738 --> 01:30:13,865
Well, sometimes I use...
901
01:30:14,199 --> 01:30:14,908
' [J03] Yes, yes.
902
01:30:18,412 --> 01:30:23,333
- Well, sometimes I use these rubber...
903
01:30:24,292 --> 01:30:25,627
- Device?
904
01:30:25,961 --> 01:30:26,711
- Yes, Father.
905
01:30:28,088 --> 01:30:30,966
Oh, how I've sinned, how wicked I am!
906
01:30:33,009 --> 01:30:33,760
Father?
907
01:30:35,887 --> 01:30:37,139
- You will be forgiven.
908
01:30:38,723 --> 01:30:41,351
Go to the sacristy and await me there.
909
01:30:41,685 --> 01:30:44,271
Kneeling, and with your face hidden.
910
01:30:46,982 --> 01:30:48,817
-And I will be forgiven?
911
01:30:49,151 --> 01:30:50,777
- Yes, my child.
912
01:30:53,071 --> 01:30:54,197
- Thank you, Father.
913
01:31:45,290 --> 01:31:48,251
- Now, we will kneel together and pray.
914
01:31:49,586 --> 01:31:50,670
- Yes, Father.
915
01:31:53,548 --> 01:31:56,259
- You must relive this sinful experience.
916
01:31:58,094 --> 01:31:59,554
- Yes, Father.
917
01:31:59,888 --> 01:32:02,516
- You must abase yourself
in the eyes of the Lord
918
01:32:02,849 --> 01:32:04,392
and appear truly repentant.
919
01:32:05,936 --> 01:32:07,437
- I will.
920
01:32:07,771 --> 01:32:09,064
-And keep your face hidden.
921
01:32:10,815 --> 01:32:11,566
- Yes.
922
01:32:13,276 --> 01:32:16,029
- Now, remove your undergarment.
923
01:32:25,455 --> 01:32:26,206
Now,
924
01:32:27,374 --> 01:32:28,500
recount your sin.
925
01:32:31,127 --> 01:32:31,878
- Well.
926
01:32:33,338 --> 01:32:36,967
I lie in bed at night and I think of Joe,
927
01:32:38,093 --> 01:32:40,720
and I think of him being hard.
928
01:32:42,097 --> 01:32:43,890
And I think of his smell.
929
01:32:44,975 --> 01:32:46,768
And I think of his maleness.
930
01:32:47,811 --> 01:32:50,772
And I think of his foxiness,
931
01:32:51,106 --> 01:32:54,150
and I just can't help myself.
932
01:32:55,610 --> 01:32:57,404
Oh, that church janitor.
933
01:32:58,363 --> 01:32:59,573
- Go on.
934
01:32:59,906 --> 01:33:02,784
You must speak freely in
the hearing of the Lord.
935
01:33:03,118 --> 01:33:05,870
- (sighs) Well...
936
01:33:06,204 --> 01:33:08,582
I think of his cock
937
01:33:08,915 --> 01:33:10,584
and I think of it...
938
01:33:11,751 --> 01:33:13,128
Oh Father!
939
01:33:18,133 --> 01:33:22,429
Oh, I didn't think it was
like this.
940
01:33:22,762 --> 01:33:24,556
-All right, my child.
941
01:33:26,558 --> 01:33:27,058
' [J06] One.
942
01:33:27,392 --> 01:33:31,396
Oh, you go on.
943
01:33:32,981 --> 01:33:37,027
Oh, it's much better with a man!
944
01:33:41,156 --> 01:33:43,116
Oh, Father, Father!
945
01:33:51,082 --> 01:33:53,835
Oh! (moaning)
946
01:34:08,016 --> 01:34:12,354
Joe! Oh!
947
01:34:12,687 --> 01:34:15,065
Oh my. (moans)
948
01:34:19,527 --> 01:34:22,656
Forgive me!
949
01:34:28,244 --> 01:34:29,496
Give it to me!
950
01:34:37,629 --> 01:34:38,922
Oh! (laughs)
951
01:34:39,255 --> 01:34:43,051
- "Altogether, it was an uplifting
and spiritual experience.
952
01:34:43,385 --> 01:34:45,178
I've never known such joy.
953
01:34:45,512 --> 01:34:48,056
My problem is, how do I
know who is going to be
954
01:34:48,390 --> 01:34:50,308
in the confessional next time?
955
01:34:50,642 --> 01:34:52,268
Signed, True Believer."
956
01:34:59,567 --> 01:35:00,694
"Dear, True Believer.
957
01:35:02,320 --> 01:35:03,071
Does it matter?"
958
01:35:04,572 --> 01:35:05,490
How was that, Harry?
959
01:35:06,991 --> 01:35:08,368
Short and sweet, eh?
960
01:35:09,494 --> 01:35:10,245
Harry?
961
01:35:18,795 --> 01:35:21,047
"The new girl in the office."
962
01:35:21,381 --> 01:35:22,090
Now where were we?
963
01:35:28,304 --> 01:35:28,930
- Freeze!
964
01:35:30,390 --> 01:35:31,015
Freeze!
965
01:35:53,037 --> 01:35:55,707
[Man] What a great tightness.
67985
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