All language subtitles for The Nanny s06 e06

And you know, I never gave
Maxwell a wedding gift

and since the days of me
sleeping in my own room
are over.

[all] Thank God.

So I was thinking, why not turn
it into his very own home gym?

-That's good.
-Yeah.

Keep him strong and healthy.

Men who marry the Fine women
tend to die young.

Why is that?

Because they want to.

Anyway, I got
this amazing contractor.

Wait till you girls see
what's being done in here.

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, my.

What are you doing here?

Well, I thought you were gonna
be out shopping all day.

Well, I finished early.
I'm good at it. What?

You said you were
going to be in bed all da--

Sylvia, Yetta,
do you have to stand there?

-No.
-No.

I can't believe you're
doing this. What must you
have been thinking?

That we wouldn't get caught?

Fran, I just turned 21.
I'm an adult.

Well, as an adult, I should
advise you that you better
get your tushy out of bed

before your daddy comes home
and kills you.

Hi, I'm Nana.

And you know who's fault this is
gonna turn out to be,
don't you? Mine.

-Why?
-Because

I'm the one that said you were
an adult.

I'm the one that said
you were responsible.

I'm the one that told him
to trust you.

Fran, I-- Oh, my God.

And this is why men
that marry Fine women die young.

MAIN TITLE

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

What the hell do you think
you were doing?

-Well, I think it's pretty
obvious--
-I know what they were doing.

-I wanna know why they were
doing it.
-Well, I think they were--

I know why they were doing it.

Hey, what's all the noise--?

Great.

All right, how much
have I missed?

Have any trust funds
been cut off yet?

-Would you just get out of here?
-Everybody out.

-Oh, but, Dad, this is--
-Now.

Out. Out.

I'll be in the kitchen.

Well, there's a shocker.

Honey. Honey,
let's just calm down.

Maybe we should go sit around
the table, have a little coffee,
a little cake--

Not now.

Look, Mr. Sheffield, I think I
know what you're gonna say.

-I want you out of my house.
-Yep, that's what I thought.

Care to explain yourself,
young lady?

Well, Fran said that whatever we
do in our own apartment,
we could do here.

Why don't you just feed me
to the sharks, why don't you?

Ms. Fine, in my office.

Right now.

Great. Now I'm back to Ms. Fine.
Thank you very much, young lady.

Oh, yes, good afternoon.
I'm calling about your ad
for the '93 BMW.

Yes, well, the car
sounds wonderful.

Oh, you think I sound sexy, eh?

Well, I've got
wavy black hair...

hazel eyes.

Oh, I'm about 6-foot-2.
What about you?

I'm a petite, strawberry blond.

Oh, I like moonlight,
Burt Bacharach...

and leather.

Yes, I'm alone.

Are you serious?

That'll really turn you on?

♪ I'm Popeye the Sailor Man ♪

♪ I'm Popeye the Sailor Man ♪

♪ I'm strong to the finish
Cause I eat me spinach ♪

♪ I'm Popeye the Sailor Man ♪

Whoop, whoop.

You are a pathetic excuse
for a man.

...turn everything into
a screaming match.

Listen, I don't agree or approve
of what she did either,

but she is 21 years old
and she does love the guy.

If she loves him, she can wait.
We waited five years.

You know, that's a little bit
of a sore spot with me.

I can't believe you gave them
permission to do that.
And in our house.

I did not.

You know, you're just upset
because you saw them.

Yes, well, you're right.
Didn't care for that.

Sweetie, you must have assumed
that they were--

Assuming isn't knowing.
Assuming means
you could be wrong.

People were assuming we were
having sex when you were
my nanny and they're wrong.

Again, a sore spot.

Look, I want you to talk
to Margaret and forbid her
from having any more.

Oh, okay, honey.

And while I'm doing that

why don't you schlep Opie
to Floyd's for a haircut?

Please, would you just go
and talk to her?

Oh, okay, okay.

But I'll tell you, it's gonna be
pretty difficult
for me to tell her

she can't do something that,

well, I recently discovered,
is just so amazing.

I don't care.

Thank you. I don't care.

Oh, come on, it was just a joke.

What do I have to do
to get you to sell me your car?

Well, it's
a little embarrassing,

but would you consider
being a workout partner

for someone who's trying
to get back to a size 4?

"Back to" implies she
was there once.

What would I have to do?

Well, all you'd have to do
is hold her legs
while she does sit-ups,

spot her when she does squats,
blot the perspiration
from her cleavage.

Oh, I could handle that.
It's a deal.

I hope it'll be as much fun
for you as it is for me.

First thing,
could you help me get into this?

I hate you. I hate you.

Oh, there you are.
Where have you been?

-Michael's.
-Well, you know,
your father wants us

to talk about what happened
between you
and Michael yesterday.

And I just want you to know,
honey, that as your mother,

you can share with me
anything and everything.

Well, that wasn't the first time
Michael and I--

Don't over communicate, sweetie.

Now, come on. The important
thing is that you have
to talk to your father.

But before that happens,
we're gonna give you
a little makeover

and turn you into the Maggie
that he wants to see.

The sweet, young,
sexually non-active Maggie.

Fran, I really don't think
that this is a good time.

Oh, honey, don't be scared.

You'll just march yourself
right in there and open with,

"Daddy, your last play
was so funny."

Then...

you're gonna apologize.

And as you skip out,
it wouldn't be a bad idea
to hold on to that.

Fran, I really need
to talk to you.

Okay, sweetie, but just,

do you think
that you can squeeze into this?

Fran, I think I'm pregnant.

Oh, well, then this
definitely won't...

Fran? Fran?

Fran?

Nice rug.

Fran, please, I need you.
You have to get up.

Oh, oh.

Oh, honey, you know, next time
you tell me that you think
you're pregnant,

could you do it on carpeting?

Fran, what am I gonna do?

Well, are you sure, sweetie?

All I know is that I'm late.

-Well, how late?
-About a week.

Now, when you say about a week,
how many days do you mean?

-Five? Six?
-Eleven.

Oh, my God.

-Didn't you use protection?
-Well, of course I did.

Well, you obviously
didn't buy quality.

Don't you know that is the one
thing you pay retail for?

Fran, what am I gonna do?

I mean, who would have thought
that Daddy would be right?

You know what, honey?

Let's not go there
unless we absolutely have to.

Oh, Dad.

I'm so sorry. Thank you so much.
I'm never gonna do it again.

-Oh. Excellent work, sweetheart.
-Thanks.

-Hi, Mom.
-Oh, what do you mean by that?

Oh, you meant me.
Oh, he meant me.

Good to see you, son.

Okay, now the first thing
that we gotta do
is buy a pregnancy test.

Who's pregnant?

Oh, Oh, um...

Yetta, you gotta promise me
you're gonna forget everything
you just heard.

Don't worry,
it goes in one ear and--

I think we're safe.

Did you get the test?

Okay. So let's see here.

It says, "If you're
not pregnant, it'll turn pink.

If you are pregnant,
it will turn blue."

As will we all.

Oh, honey, this wouldn't
have happened if you had
just listened to me.

You said I could do whatever
I want in our own house.

Whatever, not whoever.

Fran, I'm so nervous.

Oh, sweetie, listen.
Whatever happens, don't worry.

You're not gonna have to go
through this by yourself.

Oh, I'm so glad that I have you.

I love you.

But, you know, I don't wanna
put pressure on you or anything,

but if for some reason
you are pregnant,

life is going to change forever.

No husband, no house, no money.

And it ain't gonna be
a picnic for you either.

[knocking on door]

Um, I'm putting on my makeup.

Oh, God, that'll take a month.

I want my money back.

Your car is a piece of junk

and it smells like some animal
died in the trunk.

Ooh. Oh, no, no,
he's at the vet.
He's at the vet.

Sorry, buster,
the check is cashed,
the car is yours.

Oh, that was my life savings.

Oh, Niles, I had no idea.

It looks kind of mauve.

Well, we still have
a minute left.

[knocking on door]

You know what,
I'm still freshening up.

Darling, I... I had to come back
and finish what you started.

So why don't you open the door
and we can freshen up together?

Not now.

Sweetie.

What is going on in there?

Nothing, nothing.

[ding]

-What was that?
-Um, um... a ding?

Fran, would you open
the door now?

[Fran]
Oh, what do I have to do to get
a little privacy around here?

Lock the door?

Why is my daughter
holding a pregnancy test?

Well, you know, there,
there could be so many reasons.

Let me see here.

Well, suppose you give me
one of those reasons right now.

-You better start thinking.
-[Fran] I was gonna
tell you after.

Sweetheart.

Your father thinks that we
should go to the gynecologist

and find out for sure.

Oh, and sweetie, next time...

lock the door.

Fran. Maggie.

Welcome to my new examining
room, Ribbons and Lace.

Wow, this place is gorgeous.

I'll tell you, it's a lot
different from my
old gyno's office,

but then again, how do you give
a former car wash glamor?

May I offer you gals a cookie?

-No, thanks, Dr. Reynolds.
-Oh, look at this.

They're shaped
like giant midols. How clever.

I bake like a banshee
during my time of the month.

All right, Maggie.

Here you go.

Ooh, is that stunning.

-I paint on silk
on the weekends.
-Oh.

-There you go, honey.
-Thanks.

Fran. You're gonna stay in here
with me, right?

Of course, baby,
I'm not going anywhere.
I'll be here the whole time.

Go change.

Oh, the poor kid is so nervous.

Doctor, you have any idea
when you're gonna find out
the results of the tests?

It'll be under 20 minutes.

And while you wait, I have
videos of the Lilith Fair.

Hey.

Oh, look at this. You keep your
instruments in a bun warmer.

How considerate.

Oh, boy, I'll tell you,
I'm so happy that Maggie
is in such good care,

because I'll tell you,
I am like a nervous wreck.

Now, what can we do
to make Fran feel better?

I'll tell you, if only I could
use a glass of wine.

Well, I have a dry Merlot
or an oaky Chardonnay.

Maggie's test results should be
ready in just a few minutes.

Oh, good. Oh...

Doc, is that you with Hillary?

Oh, yes, she comes to see me
once a week.

Isn't that a little bit often?

Well, wouldn't you
if he was your husband?

Oh, dear.
Now, while we're waiting,

I'd like to ask you
a few questions.

Have you been feeling fatigued
at all?

Oh, who wouldn't be exhausted
after what I've been through.

Oh, you meant her.
Go ahead, sweetie.

I don't feel tired.

Have you felt a little
lightheaded or nauseous?

Oh, well, if you are,
you might have gotten that
from me.

Ever since I came back
from the island,

I have had
a low-grade nauseousness.

You know what I'd like to do?

I'd like to focus on Maggie
for just a moment.

Now, Maggie,
have you had any cravings?

No, not really.

Okay, no cravings.

I have Ms. Sheffield's results,
doctor.

Just as I suspected.
Your tiny little figure
is going to remain intact.

-I'm not pregnant?
-You're not pregnant.

-Oh, my God.
-Oh, sweetie,
you're not pregnant.

Oh, my God, are you lucky.

Oh, honey, I beg of you,
remember how this felt.

I know that you're old enough
to make your own decisions,

but, sweetie,
there are just some consequences

I don't think you're ready for.

-I love you, Fran.
-I love you too, angel.

Very nice.

-I'm gonna go call Michael.
-Okay. I'll meet you out there.

Oh, God, doc, I am so relieved,
I can't tell you.

Before you go...
come back to me.

I'd like to focus on Fran
for just a little bit.

-Oh, why?
-Well, fatigue, lightheadedness,

"nauseousness"?

Oh, my God, doc,
are you thinking
that I might be pregnant?

Oh, my God.

-Excuse me.
-Yeah?

Would you happen to know
who owns that BMW
with the for sale sign?

What's it to you?

Oh, well, I'm a collector.
I will pay top dollar.

What if I were to tell you

that I sold it
to a dear friend of mine
who needs the car desperately?

Well, what if I were to tell you
I'll double what he paid for it?

Money talks, butler walks.

Niles.

You know, I have been thinking,
and I feel so guilty

about taking your life savings
that I wanna buy the car back.

Why are you being so nice?

Can't I act like
a compassionate human being?

Uh, no.

There's got to be
something up your sleeve,

although I don't know
how anything else would fit

with that big, wide arm
in there.

All right, just forget it then.

No, wait, wait.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I do want my money back.

It's just that I'm not used to
you being compassionate
and nice to me.

Well, don't get used to it.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

-Where's Maxwell?
-He's in the study.

-Oh, Fran, my darling.
-Honey. Honey.

I've got the most amazing news
for you. For us.

I already know.
Margaret called me

from the doctor's
to give me the good news.

No, no. Something else.

And I have to say, thank God.

Well, Margaret's much too young
and frankly, I'm far too old.

Well, why? What does it have
to do with you?

Well, I'd insist on Margaret
finishing college,

and that means you-know-who
would be bringing up baby.

And we've only just got married.

I'm not ready to share you yet.

Oh, no, no,
the last thing we need right now

is a baby
running around the house.

Anyway, come on.
Tell me, what's your good news?

Bloomingdale's is having
a big shoe sale.

Oh, come here.

Yetta, why does everybody around
here treat me like a baby?

They won't tell me anything.

Yeah, what about me?

People tell me everything,
and in two minutes I forget.

I'm sorry, Yetta.
It must be hard for you.

Well, sometimes,
but sometimes it's a pleasure.

See, for instance,

if I hear news that upsets me,

ten minutes later
I'm on top of the world again.

Thanks, Yetta.

For what?

You gave me something
to look forward to.

Oh...

I wish you were
my great-granddaughter.

I am
your great-granddaughter, Yetta.

You are?

You see?
I'm on top of the world again.

Ah, good, good. [laughs]

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]