All language subtitles for The Nanny s06 e03

[Maxwell] No, no, no.

Oh, boy, I've heard that before.
What'd you do,
ask him to marry you?

No. All I did was ask
if I could go to Atlantic City
with a bunch of guys.

Oh, you know, honey,
he's probably relating to
when he was your age

and wild and crazy.

Oh, no, that can't be.

Ehh, you just don't know
how to work
your father like I do.

No. I don't look as good
in a halter top as you do.

Fran looked absolutely
breathtaking in her
wedding gown, didn't she?

Yeah.

-Are you guys busy?
-Nanny Fine,

I am preparing Maxwell
for a live TV interview.

He doesn't have any time
for your mindless dribble.

Don't you look radiant
this morning.

[chuckles]
Well, maybe because you were
so electrifying last night.

[clears throat]
When did you start
smoking again?

Somewhere between "I" and "do."

Maxwell, I wanna talk to you
about Brighton going to
Atlantic City.

No, no, darling, Brighton and I
have discussed this at length.

He knows how I feel about it
and I'm adamant.

Well, I think that...

-Is adamant good or bad?
-Bad.

I think that we should reopen
the discussion.

There is nothing
left to discuss.

I have made up my mind.

He's not going. Case closed.

I'm sorry, Fran.
I didn't mean to cause
a problem between you and Dad.

I don't know if you saw the way
he blew you off like that.

I mean,
it seems to me like he doesn't
respect you or your opinion.

Look, I know what you're doing
and it's not gonna work.

Playing one parent
against the other
is the oldest trick in the book.

How could you not respect me
or my opinion?

What are you talking about?

Of course
I respect your opinion.

-Don't I?
-Absolutely, sir.

-Well, maybe when I happen to
agree with you. Right, Niles?
-Absolutely, madam.

-When does her opinion
ever agree with mine?
-Never, sir.

And when has he ever
even asked me my opinion?

Never, ma'am.

Niles, would you just stop
being so wishy-washy?

Would you just say
what you really think?

I can't. You sign my checks.
You keep my secrets.

You hired me first.
But you'll probably live longer.

How can I pick
an answer that'll be
most beneficial to Niles?

You know, I knew a little girl
when I was growing up.

Her parents didn't let her go
away with her friends.

And do you know what
she ended up doing? Shoplifting.

-Well, what happened to her?
-She married you.

Oh, and you see how marvelously
it turned out for her.

I'm his father.
I know what's best for him.

-And what am I?
-You're the nanny.

[gasps]

You called me the N word.

Did you hear that, Niles?

-[Niles] Do you get the house
in the settlement?
-Uh-huh.

Every word of it.

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ 'Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

[Hawaiian music playing]

I hate theme day at the home.

And why do they always have
to pick Hawaii?

Well, maybe so
everybody could wear
their regular clothes.

Yetta, I wanted to talk to you.
Me and Max had a fight.

Oh, honey, you better start
drinking some more milk.

You're getting a real
hump back here.

No, I put
my brassiere on backwards.

It's easier to hook it
in the front.

So, I'm thinking maybe I came to
the wrong place for advice.

So why are you here?

Well, I wanted to talk to you
because I knew Ma
would have a conniption

if she knew that me and Maxwell
already had a fight.

Oh, my God.

What did you do to my son?

Ma, what are you doing here?

I've never been to Hawaii.

You should go back
and beg forgiveness.

-Why do you always
take his side?
-You're right.

At your age,
with your background,

there are plenty of
millionaire producers.

All right, I get the point.

Meanwhile, I want him to start
thinking of me as his equal,
not as his nanny.

Whatever turns him on.

Your father used to like me
to dress up like a French maid.

With Grandpa, it was Heidi.

He'd put his hair
in little braids.

I'd put on the long beard.

Well, I'm beginning to see
the future and it ain't pretty.

Oh, Ma, what am I gonna do?

I mean, I want Maxwell
to stop thinking of me
as his nanny

and start thinking of me
as his wife.

Well, act like his wife.

If you don't get what you want,
deny him his...

woo-wee.

Ma, I'm a grown woman.

You could say the real word

and I'm not gonna deny him
the bing-bing.

Your mother's right.

I've been holding out
on your grandfather
for the past 25 years.

But he's been dead for 26.

Don't judge me.

[thinking]
All right, I'm gonna give
this holding-out thing a shot.

I figure 20 minutes,
he'll say, "I'm sorry"

and be begging for bing-bing.

The man is gonna
want me so much.

When I deny him,
he's gonna go crazy.

[door opens]

Hello, darling. I've been
thinking about this afternoon

and I really do think
I made the right decision

about not letting Brighton go.

[Fran thinking]
Oh, you do, do you?

Well, you haven't seen
this pose.

Well, honey, if that's
the way you feel,
that's the way you feel.

[thinking]Oh, here he comes.

No, no, no.

Oh, does he smell delicious.

Well, I'm glad you understand
how I feel, sweetheart.

Isn't it wonderful
how we're communicating
as a married couple?

[Fran thinking]
What'd he say? Oh, who cares?

Is that a tushy.

-Don't you think so?
-Yeah.

So how was your day at Yetta's?

How much can a woman take?

Well, I know those homes
can be a little depressing

but, you know,
Yetta forgets that she's there.

So every day
is like a new adventure for her.

Well, I've got
an early start tomorrow.

And here comes the robe.

Good night, sweetheart.

[Fran thinking]
Oh, God, I can't
take it anymore.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

Ooh! Harry Winston earrings.

I see denying your husband
worked out beautifully.

Oh, Ma, of all the times
that I ignored your advice,

this was the best time
I ever had.

What do you mean
you didn't take my advice?

Why couldn't you
hold out like I do?

Because my husband
looks like James Bond

and your husband
looks like James Coco.

James Coco? I wish.

Well, I gotta go now.

I've got a very important thing
to take care of before dinner.

-What?
-Lunch.

What are you doing here?
I thought you were
gonna go with Maxwell

toEntertainment Tonight.

Oh, you know how he gets.

He said, "Darling,
you know I want you by my side.,

but I'd just be so nervous

knowing someone I loved
was watching me so closely."

Yeah, I know,
I was standing next to you.
He was talking to me.

"Where the hell
are my manila envelopes?"
That was to you.

Oh, look, he's on. He's on.
You know, he really wanted me
to be by his side.

But he said he'd be
too nervous having me
watching him so closely.

[both] He was talking to me.

Okay. Let's get this straight.

Wife, butler,
manila envelope getter.

Shh!

He's on. Oh, he looks good.

In control, no nervous laughter.

[nervous laughter]

-It's great
to have you here, Maxwell.
-Oh, thanks, Bob.

Yeah. Now, we're gonna get to
your new show
in just a second.

But I understand that
congratulations are in order.

[nervous laughter]

You're laughing. Why?

-Oh. Am I?
-Well, yeah.

Well, anyway,
congratulations to you
and the new Mrs. Sheffield.

-It's great.
-Who?

Oh, oh, my nanny.

Right. What,
you married your nanny?

No, no. No, she...
Not my nanny.

She used to be my nanny.
[nervous laughter]

Well, what does she do now?

Same thing she did
when she was my nanny. Nothing.

Oh, no, I mean, not my wife.
My nanny did nothing.

My wife is, uh...

[chokes]
Hope you're not seeing this.

Oh, you poor woman.

For a husband
to treat his wife that way.

You see, that is why
I never got married.

Yeah, that's why.

-Hi, Val.
-Oh, Fran, I sawET

I am so sorry.

But don't worry,
I got the perfect solution.

Oh, no, it's okay.
We made up last night.

He was just nervous.
It was a slip of the tongue.

Is that a new necklace?

-Yeah. Matches the earrings.
-[gasps]

I think Maxwell
is beginning to realize

that he cannot afford
to keep making these mistakes.

Oh, what was your solution?

Well, I've been
thinking about it

and he's always gonna see you
as the nanny until...

Until what?

Well, that's as far as
I thought it out.

How about until
I hire another nanny?

Sure. Easy after I gave you
the first part.

No, I already hired one,
for your information.

And it wasn't easy either.

Finding a woman that's great
with the kids like I am

and gets along with Maxwell.

Because, you know,
while he's working at the house,

he's gonna see
a lot of her.

Good morning, Mrs. Sheffield.

Good morning, Nanny Bower.

Would you like a biscuit?

Oh, no. That would not be
proper etiquette

for the nanny to sit down
and eat with her employers.

I guess I cut
Nanny College that day.

You know, if you don't mind,
I think that I will just go
and pick up Grace from ballet

and take Brighton
to the dentist.

When are you gonna do
your nails and your hair,
and go shopping at Loehmann's?

I do all that
on my day off, ma'am.

[Fran] Day off?
Oh, that's novel.

I never thought of that.
Oh, well.

[door closes]

Well, I guess
I'm a lady of leisure, Val.

-Now I just gotta figure out
what a lady of leisure does.
-Yeah.

Oh, Niles.

Tell me, what did the first
Mrs. Sheffield do
with all of her free time?

Well, she loved to do her own
dusting, cleaning,
and vacuuming.

All right, she spent
a lot of time at a country club.

Oh, that sounds lovely.

-Say, I wonder if they've got
a water slide.
-Ooh!

Gee, I'm beginning to think
that I'm the first brunette

that's ever been
allowed in this club.

So you're not enjoying
your first day here?

Well, to tell you the truth,
I'm a little turned off.

I mean, no one's playing
Marco Polo in the pool.

And for the clubhouse,
no comedienne.

And you'd think
with a place like this

they'd have at least one
Pac-Man

What do people do around here?

Well, when in Rome.

Can I have a mochachino
blended with Equal please?

Make it a venti.

[imperceptible]

[Grace] Fran.

Dad, have you seen Fran?

Oh, now, Grace,

you can't go on running off
to Fran for every little thing.

She's no longer the nanny,
you know.
She's my wife now.

Wow, one night on the couch
sure whipped you into shape.

I did not spend
the night on the couch.

Fran and I made up.

Now, why don't you let me
help you with your problem, hmm?

Well, Dad, um...

all my friends
are already on their cycles.

Why aren't I?

Well, you see, we didn't have to
bother Fran with that.

I'll buy you a bicycle.

Dad, I'm talking about
my period.

Fran, darling.

Fran.

Mrs. Sheffield
is at the club, sir.

Is there something
I can do for you?

Oh, no, no. Thank you.

You know, sir, nobody
seems to need me
for anything around here.

I mean if you don't
mind my asking,
what did the last nanny do?

Oh.

Well, she, um...

She would, uh...

Uh...

Niles, um...

Well, in addition to tending
to the children,

her duties were dusting,
cleaning, vacuuming.

Oh, no, I am onto you.

Your daughter C.C. warned me
about your shenanigans.

Well, um... [clears throat]
Actually, besides
taking care of the children,

I suppose the nanny
would make sure the tie
that she picked out for me

matched the shoes
that she had picked out for me.

Uh, then she'd make reservations
for dinner for myself
and, um, her.

Uh...

Then sometimes when I was
working late at night,

she'd come in here
to the office,

jump up on my desk...

cross her legs
in a most enticing manner.

Well, I... suppose...

God, no, no, no.

Not necessary. No.

Uh...

Hated that.
Didn't care for it at all. No.

You know,
it's really none of my business,

but it sounds to me like she was
more of a wife than a nanny.

Well, that's why I married her.

Oh, I was under the impression
that your nanny was a nightmare.

-Who in the devil told you that?
-Your first wife. C.C.

-Hi, honey.
-Thank God you're home.

I went up to Dad and I was
completely honest with him

and I told him that I wanted to
spend the night over
at my boyfriend's house.

And he said no.

You were completely honest
with your father?

Oh, honey, one day I'm gone
and already this whole place
is falling apart.

Fran, I mean, I'm 20 years old.

I mean, doesn't Dad know that...

Well, you know...

I'm active.

You're doing the bing-bing?

Honey, you know...

I love that you feel
so comfortable

that you want to be
totally honest with me,

so let me be
totally honest with you.

Get upstairs.
What are you, crazy?

And you're never
leaving the house again.

-Oh, darling, you're back.
-Hi, sweetie.

-How was your day
as a lady of leisure?
-You know, not good.

Oh, I'm sorry. Well, if you
didn't enjoy yourself,
you don't have to go back there.

Good, because we're not
allowed there anymore.

Darling, as a matter of fact,
I was gonna come down
to the club and bring you home.

-Grace has a little problem.
-Oh?

It seems that she's the only one
of her classmates

whose "friend"
hasn't visited her.

Oh, honey, you're so archaic.

I learned that at the club.

Anyway, don't worry,
I'll talk to her.

I'll simply explain to her
the longer her "friend"
takes to visit,

the happier we'll all be.

Who ate the last Nutter Butter?

And why don't we have
any backup?

Oh-ho-ho-ho.

Well, welcome to hell, honey.

I'm so glad you're home.

Oh, you and me both, sweetie.

You know, I'm not cut out
to be one of those fancy wives

whose nanny knows their kids
better than they do.

I wanna be the nanny.

Oh, and I want you
to be the nanny.

That's who I fell in love with.

That's who's raised my kids
so beautifully.

And that's who
I wanted to marry me.

Oh, what a sweet thing to say.
I love you.

I love you, my darling.

Oh, good, you guys made up.

I gotta tell you,
I was torturing myself.

I mean, I'm upstairs,
I'm beginning to think

this entire thing
was all my fault.

But yet, here you are,
you're trying to raise me
as a very mature--

You're still not going to
Atlantic City.

Yeah, well... Okay. Yeah.

See, darling,
we are both equals.

-Mmm.
-He hates us both.

Well, you know, I think that
I could be very happy

being the nanny and your wife.

Well, what do you say
I take the two of you upstairs?

Oh, Mr. Sheffield.

You're embarrassing me.

Which one do you want
to be wearing this?

Could you just excuse me
for one moment, please?

The agency sent
another nanny over.

Well, just tell her that
we're not replacing
Nanny Bowers.

Oh, please, couldn't we just
hire her for the day?

The cast ofAll My Children
is signing pictures
at the Paramus Mall.

-Niles. Erica Kane coming?
-Mm-hmm.

Oh, I guess
we're hiring a new nanny.

Hi.

I'm sorry, but the position
has already been filled.

-Thank you very much.
-Ah, but--

Are you out of your mind?

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]